Original subtitles

Whoa, did you see that? Oh, my God, he just blew that perp's head right off.

Dude, he's gonna, like, he's gonna rip off his leg. He's gonna kill him. He's

gonna break his arm, then he's gonna kill him. Oh, thank you.

Enough cartoons.

All right, it's game night. I got a big game here.

It's time classic, baby.

All right. Check it out.

So, it's, uh, Carjacked 5?

No, it's not Carjacked 5.

Oh, um, Zombie Mama's 4th.

No. Joaquin, it's a board game.

I'm bored already.

Oh, come on, guys. It'll be fun.

Look, we can even break up into teams. Boys against girls.

Yay.

Cool. Can I be the race car?

Oh, of course. And Brianna, you can be the banker.

You're responsible for all the money.

Okay, I like this game. I'm balling.

You better watch out, Miss Bree. You might actually have some fun.

Oh, that must be the pizza guy.

I'll get it.

Don't touch my money.

Mama's back.

Well, what's up? Aren't you going to give your mama a hug?

Joaquin.

Hey, baby.

What's up? Come on over here and give your mom a hug, baby. What's happening?

Excuse me.

Who are you?

Do I know you?

Huh? I don't think so.

But I sure would like to know you. You look fine, man. Look at you.

Wow.

All right, so is anybody going to invite me in and make me feel like I'm at home

or like you got a visitor in the house or something?

Sure. Come in and make yourself comfortable.

What?

Look at you being all proper.

A lot of manners.

It's Tanya.

Yeah, but you could call me baby.

You and your sexy self.

Tanya, that is my husband.

Miss Tanya, do you sweeten it?

Yeah.

Hey, baby. How are you? Come here, baby.

Look at you. I told you to stop wearing your hair long like that. People gonna

think you Puerto Rican like your deadbeat dad.

Can we offer you something to drink?

You gonna offer her something to drink? A something?

I don't drink soft drinks. You got vodka on the rocks?

But I don't want nothing. Let me give my baby his present.

Look at which mama got you, baby.

Beef jerky?

Baby, look at that cheese in it.

What? They ain't got no gift shop at the bus station.

Brianna and Joaquin, why don't you guys go upstairs and let the grown -ups talk?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Not until he gives his mother a proper hello.

Ain't you got nothing to say, babe?

Welcome back, Mom.

Oh, that's my little angel.

That's right, baby.

Oh, mwah. Go ahead.

They're so proper.

Look at them. They look like y 'all didn't have them up in them schools,

I'm reading books.

Tanya, we thought that you were in prison. Yeah, I was.

Okay, but now I'm out. Excuse me. I'm out.

What's up, baby?

How long you been out?

I've been out for a couple of months.

Yeah, you know, but I had to go handle some business with the dude down at

Social Services.

Find out who took my kids.

Tanya, no one took your kids. You abandoned them. Remember that? Oh,

Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Social services told you where we live?

Well, I mean, I had to work my powers of persuasion on that dude in the records

department.

You know, it wasn't that hard, you know, since I had to catch up.

Will you be staying long?

Am I going to be staying long?

Did you get this chick?

Just broke down Halle Berry. I mean, come on.

Fortunately for you, I won't be here for a long time because that would be my

man.

You know you can do better than that, right? Come on, Trader.

Trader, come on.

Trader.

Anyway, so you know I got a job. My parole officer got me a job down in

Start on Monday. Great, doing what?

Yeah, I'm working at a chicken factory, plucking chickens. You know, sister

hustling, grinding.

Get your hustle on. Get my hustle on, baby. Sister got to do what she got to

But you know what? Soon I'm going to have my own chicken place, and I'm going

pluck my own chickens, and I'm really going to have it down. You can come work

for me. I'll make you manager.

You're a regular old woman.

Hey, you know, don't hate.

Look, this is not happening.

All right, look.

She's just coming by to say hello, and she's going to keep going on her way.

she better.

She better.

You know what? This house is nice.

Just so comfortable.

Y 'all really got my kids living like they rich.

I'm serious. You know what? I think I need to get a job in Atlanta, up in the

ATL, you know? So I can be next to you. You know, give you what a real woman can

give you.

Therefore,

I'm going to get on down to... My head is tearing me up. Yeah, we're doing the

choir thing at the church. I'll see y 'all.

What the... I know you don't have your feet on my sofa.

Who are you?

What are you?

Looking like the predator.

I'm Tanya.

Just Tanya? You don't have no last name? Tanya what? I'm Tanya. I'm Joaquin and

Brianna's mom.

Oh, well, your last name is 349 -68173. What?

I thought you was in prison.

Well, I was in prison, but now I'm out.

Oh. And you fine, old man. Come here. Let me just check.

to the church, nephew.

Nephew, nephew, watch out.

All right, I'll be back.

Wait, did you say you were Jaquene's and Brianna's mama?

Joaquin and Brianna. You they mama.

I'm their mama.

Their daddy Puerto Rican.

You need to get a DNN test. Somebody lie.

Look at all this junk I get in the mail these days.

Well, it doesn't look like junk mail to me. Looks like you've got a special

delivery. What the hell is this? A girl's best friend.

What, diamonds?

A little blue pill for a girl's other best friend.

Good day out for me.

Do you still go by the name of Cleotis Jackson?

I'm a Marine, and a Marine don't need no reinforcements.

All right, to call in the cavalry just makes the battle last a little longer.

Hey, y 'all hide your purses and stuff, because Brianna and Raquan's mama is

here. Yeah, she just got out that prisoner.

You know, I'm sick of that choir. The Bible says, make a joyful noise unto the

Lord. Some of them choir members just be making a bunch of noise.

You are the choir director, Brown. You're supposed to help him. How am I

to help him when Sister Agnes keep on messing up the words of the song?

What she need to do, I'm telling you, she need to open up her mouth and learn

pronunciate. I'm telling you, I'm listening to him and I'm saying, that's

exactly why Jesus wept right there. That's why he was weeping.

But the platoon is only as good as its leader.

Hush, G .I. Slow.

Heard that choir.

They're so bad that the congregation actually goes there to hear the service.

I'm standing up there directly.

I mean, they were sounding so bad, they gave me a headache.

Oh, you got a headache?

Yes. Oh, Brown, well, you need to take some of these. No, no, no, no, no.

Just what the doctor ordered.

Oh, no, I just take regular asthma. I don't take that stuff. Oh, but you need

take some of these.

It'll take your mind off of that headache.

Wheels.

Well, give me two of them, then. Oh, no, no, no. You just need to take one.

Just take one, and then you'll be all that you can be.

Save some for me. I got a friend who has headaches.

Now, just take that with that water.

Ooh, I feel good already.

Yeah, yeah. Ooh, Colonel, you nice. I don't care what they say about you. You

know, they say you are mad.

evil, mean, nasty, trifling dog, but I just think you're a mad, evil, just

little shell -shocked angel for the Lord.

And you're gonna get a little surprise.

Really? Yeah. I like surprises.

I'm gonna lay down. My head is swimming. All right.

You are right.

But it feels so right.

All right, so check it out. I had Big Sal in the headlock, right? And I told

her, I was like, look, if you don't let me go, I'm going to shank you. I'm going

to shank you. You got to do stuff like that to chicks in prison. You know what

I'm saying?

No.

Y 'all don't ever need to go to jail. Trust me.

I digress.

Where my kids at, y 'all?

Yo, Bree.

Bree.

Yo, y 'all, come on. I taught them manners.

We down here.

Bill and Hillary.

It's Will and Sasha.

Same thing.

Call me Monica.

I'm guessing prison was pretty hard on you.

Nah, I mean, people think that. It really wasn't that hard, though. They

me all kinds of stuff in prison. Taught me how to be a lady. Taught me manners,

etiquette skills.

You know, speaking better English.

Your parents must be proud.

Are you trying to be smart?

You know what, look, baby doll, let me just tell you something. Oh, no, baby,

let me tell you something. How about that? You got some nerve coming up in

acting like nothing ever happened. Let me tell you something. You don't know

nothing about nothing. All right, you better back up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey.

There are kids in the house. Can we at least discuss this like adults? Yeah,

know what, adult, go get my kids.

Go get my kids.

Rihanna's left in her room, and she won't open the door.

I'll go and talk to her. No, her mama. She got a mama, okay? And she gonna obey

her mama. She's a child.

Or else she gonna get a beating.

Will, you better get off my stairs. Look at you. You rough baby. Mom, what are

you doing?

I ain't doing nothing.

Brianna, are you okay?

I'm not going anywhere with her.

Baby, don't test me in front of these people.

Why can't you be like your brother? He missed me.

Well, I missed you at first.

But then I kind of forgot what you looked like.

Now, see, that's my baby right there, baby. I'm sorry. You know Mama's been

busy, right? But I've been thinking about my baby every, every day.

We're not your babies anymore.

Will and Sasha are adopting.

We're going to be a family.

Wait a minute. Hold up.

Y 'all already got a family. Me.

No, Tanya, it is too late.

We've already started the adoption process. Yeah, well, you know what? You

better unstart it, buttercup.

You ain't just going to just jack my kids.

All right, they my kids, and they coming with me.

Tanya, you can't take our kids.

Are you deaf?

Huh? You deaf, ain't you?

Right? Those are my kids.

Like I said, and I can do anything I damn well please.

Okay, Tanya, look.

All right, maybe we just got started off on the wrong foot. Oh, no, baby. Ain't

nothing wrong with my foot. But I'm telling you one thing. If you ain't

I'm going to break it off. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Y 'all just better keep your hands off of what's mine.

Okay, come here. Come here.

Come here.

These are my kids.

All right?

And I love these kids, and we about to be one big happy family again.

Yeah, especially when those public aid checks start rolling in, huh?

Go over there and sit down. Let me tell you something, girl.

What the hell is wrong with you, huh? Do not make me lose my temper in front of

these nice people. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Do you

Oh, you want to hit me? Go ahead, hit me. I'm not scared of you. Oh, my God,

baby, what is wrong? I don't even understand why she would think that.

Honey, I love you so much.

I love you and I love Joaquin. I would never hurt y 'all.

Honey, all I'm trying to do is tell you that if he gets punished because of your

misbehaving, that's going to be on you. Don't say it all. Hey, hey, what are you

over there saying to her? All I'm trying to do is remind her of the fun that we

used to have back in the day as a family.

Right,

baby?

Yes. Guess what?

Yes, mama. Yes, mama.

Yes, mama.

Mama, mama.

All right, so look, I got to go have a meeting.

I'll be back for my kids. So I want y 'all to go get yourself together because

I'll be back. We got a 7 o 'clock bus to catch.

And I'm going to call the social worker. Oh, well, you call whoever you want.

Call your mama. Watch me. Call your mama. Watch me. You don't want to come

me.

Thanks for the visit.

I'll see you shortly.

Bye.

I don't know. It doesn't look like our little prank worked.

Patience, Colonel. Patience.

Usually takes about 45 minutes to kick in.

Well, you know that.

Don't you worry about it.

Brown's out there cutting grass.

He's cutting grass like he never cut grass before.

I just get up there.

Brown, Brown, you look happy.

Yeah.

I feel happy.

Oh, I feel real happy.

There's just a certain glow about you. Really? Yeah. I feel different. I just

feel, I feel like, ooh, like I ain't never felt like this before.

Ooh, Aetna.

Aetna.

Aetna.

What? What?

Come here, Aetna.

I have to tell you how beautiful you are.

Why don't you start something? You can't miss nowhere.

You know, girl, I was once just... What the heck? What am I doing? What am

I doing this for?

It's just like I just... It's like your

eyes are like a magnet.

Just magnetizing.

You come here often? I live here, fool.

Well, then that means it's a sharp walk to my room.

Girl,

you playing hard to get.

I like that, though.

the chocolate.

Don't go out.

Come here, Brownie.

Pop that thing. Bam!

All right. All right.

That's enough of the bumping. How about you kind of use that? No, no, no. Don't

bring that bumping stuff over here. No.

Just, oh, I just got to feel like I want to do just, oh, I feel like we need to

be in the hot tub. Anybody want to get in the hot tub?

Oh, no, Brown. I think you need a cold shower.

Yes, let's go take a cold shower. I'm trying to tell him.

Brown, Brown, Brown, come here. Come here. Look, listen.

That pill I gave you, it wasn't a pain pill. It was a blue pill to keep the

missus happy.

If you know what I mean. You know what I mean.

Happy pill.

I don't have no missus. You just... Colonel, you gave me one of them

pills.

It'll be over in four hours, and you'll be back to normal.

Yeah, whatever that means.

Okay, well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

Well, just walk it off.

I'm not supposed to be alone, am I? Oh, yes, you should.

I walk with you.

Really? Well, a few steps behind.

I'm scared.

I don't want to make no love.

She could be back at any minute. What do you want us to do?

Okay, fine.

All right, we'll try, but you need to hurry.

You know... What did the social worker say?

That it's a legal gray area.

That now that Tanya's served her time, there's a chance that she might actually

get those kids back.

That's it?

No, she said that we shouldn't let her take the kids anywhere alone, and she's

going to check with the lawyers to see what we can do next.

It's going to be okay, all right? Don't worry.

Oh, Will, I'm not worried. I'm angry.

She went and allowed Brianna to get abused, abandoned them, ends up in

and now has the nerve to come up in here like none of this ever happened?

Hey, babe, look, we both know the kids deserve better.

Okay. Okay? But look, when she gets back, we're going to ask her to leave,

we'll let the lawyers contact her from here.

Okay?

Yes.

Packing and unpacking my things.

Oh, no, honey, we don't.

I'm so sorry.

So, where is she?

Did she get arrested again?

Hopefully. No, she'll be back.

But you guys are not going anywhere, okay?

Hey, family.

Don't you know how to knock?

You know what? Why don't you come on over here and let me show you how?

You know what, Tanya? We spoke to social services.

Oh, you spoke to social services. Oh, well, I spoke to social services, too.

you know what? I took the liberty to even call my attorney.

And my attorney says that we're in some kind of a gray area.

You don't say. You don't say.

And, you know, since I've been going through my little legal troubles and y

been trying to find some kids, that's been tripping me out.

What's been tripping you out, Tanya?

What y 'all need with my kids.

You ain't got no eggs in that sweet little basket? All right, Tonya, you

what? It's up to you. No, I'm not going nowhere.

I'm not going nowhere.

See, my attorney told me that possession was nine -tenths of the law.

So until we get this thing figured out, I'm staying.

Yes.

What's for dinner?

Do I smell chicken?