Original subtitles

What? This thing is balled up like Edna's chest hair. What the... Hey,

Hey. Hey, Mr. Brown.

Hey, what y 'all doing?

We just got through picking up some things for Reggie's welcome back party.

I really missed him because he's been gone.

But he said this was a great opportunity for him and he didn't want it to pass

him up. Well, Corbin, he already passed up one opportunity.

Oh. Down at the Georgia Aquarium. You know they looking for another whale.

Anyway. I'm glad Reggie's coming back, because ever since he left, all you do

go to work and go to church.

Chewbacca's right.

Carter, you done hung around here more than my daddy's picture.

You look a little dusty yourself.

Oh, it's not that bad. I just like doing stuff with Reggie. Well, Carter, I like

the 78 Pinto, but I didn't stop going outside when they stopped making it.

That is water under the bridge.

Yeah, you would know that, Esther Troll.

Stop it, you two. This is an honor, Reggie. That's why I have a sports

And I bought me a ref jersey and a whistle.

So that's why I end up wearing shoulder pads.

You better stop it before I drop kick you, Donovan McFly.

Get your eagle claws off of me. Eagle claws all over me. Come on, Miss Edna.

Let's go start decorating.

Or you can help me untangle this.

Y 'all ain't being good sports. Come help me.

You will never drive again, Brianna.

Yeah, and it wasn't even that bad.

You didn't have to yell at me. I wasn't yelling at you. I was screaming for my

life. But I had control of the car.

You had control of half of the car. The other half was up in the air.

What happened? Brianna got her license?

No, Mr. Brown. She has her permit, but her driving is terrible.

You're supposed to stop at a stop sign.

like that again.

Oh, I'm embarrassed.

And you're supposed to stop at railroad crossings too, Brianne. I know, Joaquin.

And crosswalks. And when a policeman blows a whistle?

Okay, that wasn't fair. I thought he was flirting with me.

Why would he want to date someone who can't drive?

That's right.

Oh.

I need to calm my mind.

Me too.

Buying me some ice cream might do the trick.

Well, according to them, so does your driving.

Hey, Mr. Brown.

What is it, Speedy?

If I help you untangle these cords, will you take me driving?

Does that answer your question?

Looking good, girl.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Yep, Lord.

Rewind.

Welcome back, Reggie. You think he's going to like it?

Carly, you're going to have to read it to him.

Don't you shut up, you overgrown milk duck.

Shut up.

You can't rain on my parade this time. I want Reggie to know that I think he is

the best coach.

Well, Corbin, you're the only one.

What are you doing?

Reggie is improving himself at camp right now. He's going to come back one

lean coaching machine.

Corbin, wait a minute. Did you say Reggie and lean in the same center?

Only thing lean on him is his stretch mark.

Brown, Brown, don't you grow up.

She wants to have a special night. Yes.

Okay, what I'm going to do is I'm going to whoop up a Reggie special.

Hot air and ham.

Y 'all call this a party?

Speaking of hot air, we gave a jamming party at my grandma's gravesite.

Little grandma, it's your death day. Little grandma.

Miss Thelma, we'll be celebrating when Reggie gets here tonight.

I don't think so.

Edna, you got a problem?

I'm passing the hat for the liquor.

We don't drink around here, sinner.

Well, that's fine.

We'll drink in the yard.

I got to respect Cora's wishes.

This is their special night, isn't it?

That's right. Me and my Reggie.

Cora, think about that. I'm going to be sick.

You and Reggie getting mushy.

I'm going to need a bigger hat.

Either that or a smaller head. We'll see you.

Would you stop with the foreplay?

Please, Sasha. For the last time, I told you no.

But you always say practice makes perfect.

Brianna, I don't want you behind the wheel until you review the rules of the

road again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

But first, you need to learn how to read.

Get out of my face or I'm going to tear a little part on your face.

Don't push me. Stop it.

Don't be mad because I'm a better driver than you are. I even beat you in the

arcade. No, you didn't.

Brianna, you hit two people while you were putting in quarters.

Okay, we're jaywalking.

Miss Thelma, can you please tell Sasha to give me another chance?

Sasha, give Brianna another chance.

No.

You drive like you're trying to qualify for demolition derby.

I can teach her to drive.

Have you seen her drive? No problem. I taught Reggie how to drive when he was

six. And he still doesn't have a car?

Look, I can't do everything.

A little bit? Yeah. Get ready and meet me out back.

Yes, okay, thank you.

Sam, it's a drive.

What's this?

What are you doing?

I'm going to need you to walk around the car. Don't bump into my rims. Open the

door and get in the driver's seat.

You're kidding, right?

Oh, well, if you don't want to learn, you're lost.

Well, okay, okay, fine. I'll do it.

All right.

Close the door, baby. You're born on a barn.

Click it or ticket.

I don't pay attention to laws.

Uh -uh.

That's why you don't know how to drive.

Ten and two, baby.

But I don't see any numbers on this wheel.

What for ten?

This is ten o 'clock. This is two o 'clock. Put it just like that.

Okay.

Can I start it up now?

Just make sure you got your foot on the brake.

Which one is the brake, the toolbox or the skateboard?

The toolbox is the brake. The skateboard is the gas.

Put it on the brake.

Wrong one. Put that on the gas.

Put that one on the brake. There you go.

Okay, can we go now? I'm ready.

All right, go.

Okay.

Get down.

Oh, Lord have mercy!

I thought that truck was going to hit us.

I saw all of us driving.

Roll the window down.

It's electric. Push the button.

What am I supposed to do now?

Now, this is very important.

Okay.

Don't hit nothing.

some big bag barrels.

I told Reggie when he get off that plane, don't stop until he walks

through this door.

Because that boy isn't much as he eat, I bet you can't even fit through that

door.

Speaking of Reggie, when do we eat?

You've been eating since you got here.

I just had cashews.

We'll be eating soon, Miss Thelma. As soon as Reggie gets here, his plane is

probably about to land now.

is just a lipstick lady.

So wait, Reggie's not here yet?

No. And Cory's about to burst.

I was hoping I could catch Reggie out front and tell him we moved.

That's so mean. That ain't mean.

Oh, everybody.

Surprise! Surprise!

Wah, wah, wah, wah.

What are you doing here?

Well, hello to you, too.

Mr. Brown invited me. Why would you do something like that? Well, Cora, if you

can invite the Incredible Hawker, I can have something, too.

Look, Cora, I didn't know it was going to cause a problem. I mean, can I stay

anyway? Well, I don't care. Sit down.

I brought a little something -something for the party.

Sparkling apple cider.

Can we put some liquor in it?

No.

Somebody please pass the hat.

Edmund, take your helmet off and give it to Thelma.

Go keep rocking.

Welcome back, Coach Reg. You know, actually,

I'm waiting for Reggie's return because, you know what, he has great school

spirit. Yes, he does.

Now, okay, you know there's just another way for you to try to say he's a bad

coach. No, no, no, it's not always whether you win or lose. No, no, he's

You are calling him a bad coach.

You're just trying to play it off, ain't you, player? I know y 'all ain't

sitting here talking about my no -coaching son.

Look, Reggie is not only a coach, he's also a mentor.

A mentor to who?

He's still in the ring.

You're just now telling me this.

Fine. Can't believe this. What happened?

Ridge is not coming. What?

Surprise!

Why isn't he coming?

Did he miss his flight?

No.

Is he sick?

No. Well, I hope he ain't trying to get out of cleaning his room.

Because he's going to be waiting for him when he gets back.

wanted to be considered. Oh, Cora, that boy probably flunked that football camp

and just don't want you to know.

Look, Cora, is that really what's bothering you? I mean, the fact is, you

everybody in this room knows that Reggie loves football.

Why you always got something philosophical to say? You always trying

everybody's problems, ain't you?

Look, Mr. Brown, if Reggie gets a job as an assistant coach, man, that'd be

like, for him, that'd be like a dream come true.

To everybody but the team he coaching.

Yeah. But didn't he know that when you talked to him this morning?

He's wrong.

Yes, he was. That's what I think.

What do you think, Miss Thelma? I'm still not cleaning this room.

You're right to be upset, Cora. You let the colonel try stuff like that with me.

He's in big trouble.

Edna ain't waking up beside you every morning trouble enough for the colonel.

It's so stupid waiting around here for all these weeks, decorating and dressing

up like a ref.

Cora, don't forget blowing that whistle. Surprise!

Never mind.

Man, I even bought tickets for the big game tomorrow.

I'm not even going to go. I don't even want to go now.

Why not?

Because I wanted to go with Reggie.

Cora, sell him.

Take him to the stadium right by that back bathroom.

You can get double the price.

Just watch out for the police.

Man, I know Reggie wanted to better himself, but by him not... telling me

was so inconsiderate? It sounds to me like he did tell you. When?

Just now on the phone.

I mean, Cor, let's face it. It's not like you and Reggie are married or

anything. I mean... You need to leave.

No, no, I didn't mean it like that.

Matter of fact, everybody needs to leave. I'm just saying. You saying that.

said go home. Go on home.

Call. I'm going to try to hook y 'all up. Just call.

Honey, don't you want me to help you?

Take down all these decorations.

Thank you, Miss Edna. I'll do it later. Now, Cory, let Edna flap her bat wings

and let the air just take all the decorations down.

You want a private party later?

Rub some liniment on your head?

Serenade you with my banjo?

Sasha, you still gonna take me to my eye doctor's appointment? Oh, Mr. Brown,

I'm so sorry, but we have an emergency staff meeting.

But, Sasha, I need to get my eyes dilated. I need to ride to the doctor.

Can you reschedule?

No, I've been waiting on that doctor's appointment long as I've been waiting on

my hair to grow.

Hey,

well, can Cora take you?

Oh, no, she's shopping her sorrows away.

Okay, Mr. Brown, I am so sorry, but I cannot do it today.

Well, you see what happened when Stevie Wonder's niece didn't take him.

Sasha, if I go blind, this is your fault. What about my eyes? What about my

eyes?

Oh, Mr. Brown.

Yes.

I can take you.

You know what? I'd rather go blind.

But Ms. Thelma gave me driving tips.

I don't care what Iron Man gave you. You're not taking me nowhere.

Last thing I need is Thelma taking me.

You know, get the keys.

I'm going to go upstairs and get dressed.

Okay, you're going to. You're ready.

Okay, I'm ready.

Mr. Brown, what are you wearing?

This is to protect me.

Come on. I hope we don't get arrested for DWB.

What's that?

Driving.

I wanted to see if you were okay.

Oh, I'm fine as frog hair.

Have a nice day.

Hold it, Cora. Can we talk for just a minute? No, Dr. P. I don't feel like

talking to nobody, and I don't want to invite anybody in right now. Well, I'm

already in.

You didn't come to work today, and I was concerned.

A lot of people call in sick.

All the time.

Yeah, but their daddies don't get on the loudspeaker and announce it to

everyone. He did?

You know he did.

Cora did.

Everybody knows Reggie's a jerk.

Well, is he really a jerk, Cora?

I mean, to face it, it was your decision to sit around here and to wait for it.

But if he really cared about me, he wouldn't stay out there.

You know it's Reggie's dream to become a great football coach.

So why are you defending Reggie?

I'm not defending anybody, but we're friends.

And every once in a while, friends just have to be honest with each other.

Yeah, that's true.

You need to snap out of it. Thanks, Gordon. All right.

Now, you ain't gonna let those tickets go to waste, are you?

No, they're not.

Good, good, good, good, good, good. I'll go.

Good, good, good, good.

But do me a favor.

You are not going just like that now, are you?

Enough with the honesty.

Well, sometimes the truth hurts.

So will this uppercut if you don't get out. Oh, yeah, you sound like your

Bye.

I just sent him. We had a long talk and he apologized.

He said from now on he would keep me in the loop until he figures out what he

wants to do with his life. Good for you, Cora.

Brianna, so you decided to drive after I told you that you couldn't? No, you

said that I could drive after I read the driver's manual, and I did.

Now, does the driver's manual say anything about being able to make a

-hand turn on the sidewalk? Do it say that?

I signal. I say, get over. Get over.

Wow. You know what this signal means, Brianna? Huh? Slap.

Huh?

Not slap. It means give me your permit, you're grounded, and go to your room.

Oh, you weak black. People don't ground their kids. You win.

Come on, Brianna.

Miss Cora. Don't look at me, Danica Patrick.

Mr.

Brown, where's my kid?

Well, through the first turn, he was in the back seat. And I seen him flip out.

Mr. Brown.

That was great.

Especially when we drove through Quick Burger.

Quick Burger don't have no drive -thru. It does now.

the head to kiss the peanuts.

Corby, he heard me say, down in practice.

Just like that. That's how he should have done it.

What the what?

Corby, why don't you mosey on up to your room, sit on your knees and close the

door and let grown folks do what grown folks do.

All right. No, Corby, don't go nowhere.

I'm not grown.

Corby, don't you leave me.

You will be when I get through with you.

Your friend, I'm not.

But you will love me when I drop it like it's hot.

Don't drop it. Don't drop it.