Original subtitles

Bill, Bill.

Where is mine?

They told me Ed was going to be sending it to me.

Oh, shoot.

The colonel?

Colonel?

The colonel making how much?

I'm going up on his rent.

Miss Daisy, Miss Edna, everybody.

I'm going to do something. I'm going to make some extra money. Mr. Brown, what

are you doing over here?

to find my stimulus package.

I think your bailout money went to Fannie Mae, Uncle Brown.

You talking about the widow lady down the street?

Fannie Mae is a mortgage lender, Mr. Brown.

No, no, uh -uh.

See, Corbin, that's where they're wrong. The Bible says never a borrower nor a

lender be.

Uh, Uncle Brown, I think that's Hamlet.

No, I...

I don't want no omelet. Carl, fix me a bacon sandwich, cook a mustard on it.

A mustard? Yeah, two -ounce special sauce, cheese, lettuce, onions. This

is draining me dry, nephew.

You know, it's hard being an inner manure.

That's entrepreneurial, Uncle Brown.

I mean, but imagine being a CEO.

We all grown around here. You ain't got the spell.

Nephew, I'm... I'm gonna have to come up with something else to make some more

money around here. I'm charging people more rent.

Got it, got it.

I just got a call from the hospital, and they offered me the director of nursing

position. Yeah!

We rich!

We rich!

I know, I know. We on our way.

Oh, gosh. Honey, my salary will more than double.

What? Woo! Shit!

Wait, you know what I'm gonna do, because...

A special gift from me to you. Oh, Mr. Brown.

Yes, your rent has gone more than double.

Look, can you imagine how much our lives are going to change once you start

making money?

Ooh, baby.

Nephew, she just went off on you, Mr. Brown.

But you're going to be kept. I want somebody to keep me, somebody to hold

I mean, she hasn't taken the job. It's just an offer, right?

Well, why not? It's a great opportunity. I don't understand why she wouldn't

take it. Thank you, Cora. Thank you. Listen to how I say it. Say it again.

Say it. Isn't that great?

Isn't it great?

Yes, it's great. It is. I know.

He a liar. He jealous of you. You jealous.

Jealous.

You shouldn't be jealous. That's your wife. You should be happy.

You should be turning flips all over this counter.

If money in the house, there's going to be money in your bank, too.

You stupid.

You know, I'm going to go, bro. Where you going?

I'm going to find Fannie Mae.

I want Mil Sugar Mama like her, too.

No, that should do it, right? Move out of the way, Brown. The Dirty Dozen is

Okay, TV check.

That's it.

What's wrong with the TV?

Oh, oh, I forgot to tell you. Movies are $2 now.

What? Yeah, just put a quarter right in the top. See, put your quarter right

there in the top of it.

This is preposterous. No, that's prepayers.

Brown, if I wanted to pay for a Dirty Dozen, then I'd go downtown.

Management, that's me, has a new policy now.

Everybody has to pay for everything.

Wow. Yeah.

Now, Edna, I done told you don't be coming around here with that freaky

Now, look, this is a Christian house.

Everybody in the house, 3 o 'clock prayer, bright and early. Carver, you

us. I am trying to get clean.

Yeah, but that'll take more than a shower.

Carver, pray for nastiness.

There's something wrong with the plumbing. It was freezing and then it

off. Well, how many quarters you put in it? You only get two minutes for free.

I beg your pardon?

Yeah, showers are a dollar now.

Showers? Check.

You mean every time I have to take a hot shower, I have to pay you a dollar?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Hot showers are two dollars.

Oh, I need you to hurry up because they're coming to put in a pay toilet in

minute.

Totally. lost your mind.

Paint on a chip.

Oh, uh, Edna!

Uh, towels are extra.

Fine!

I would have given anything not to see that, Colonel.

Yeah, Brown, and I would have given anything to see that.

You went prior at 2 .30 a .m.

Nasty self.

I've been called worse.

And I've done worse.

If you take that fancy new job you're going to take, you might qualify for the

Brown Medals reward card. Bam! It's the platinum edition.

Excuse me? Yeah, it's the platinum. I tell you, you get all access to the

facilities, you get free continental breakfast, and you get coins to the

Signed right here. All for the low, low, low, low, medium, low price.

Three payments of $29 .95.

John, you are taking this too far. But wait, wait, there's more.

If you act now, I'll throw in this commemorative mug for you. And no

charge. Shipping and handling is extra. All interest will be the price. Mr.

Brown,

there's something in that mug.

Oh, did I mention, uh, free coffee?

Oh, a turnstile? I mean, what's this, Uncle Brent?

You do if you want to get in.

I don't have any change.

Hey, sugar mama, give your husband a quarter.

She's not my sugar mama.

Ooh, you ain't got to get all testy with me. I ain't do nothing to you.

It's a lot of men that don't go to work and play at home, stay at home, play in

video games while their wife go out and make the bacon, fry it up in a pan, come

home and do everything, beat baby kids. Uncle Brian, my wife, we're equals.

Not if she get that new job, you're not.

One sugar mama. Two sugar mamas.

and one broke doctor.

For your information, I'm proud of my wife, all right, and her wonderful new

offer. Congratulations.

You a lie.

I can see it in your face you a lie.

Oh, oh, honey, the car needs gas.

Oh, um... Did I mention that the brown metals reward card comes with a free

of gas?

You have that $20? How long was you last week?

Sweetheart, I paid you back.

That sound like an argument.

You got another $20?

Now,

you know what? I bet you y 'all got separate checking accounts, too, huh?

You know, your bill, his bill. You know what I don't understand?

How do somebody divide the electric bill up? If the lights get turned out,

everybody in the door.

Here, honey, that wasn't for me.

Go ahead and fill it up.

You know what? Never mind. Keep it. I don't need it. Boy, take the $20.

Baby, it's not a problem. Just take it.

I got my own money. I'm fine.

Well, you a liar. You wouldn't ask her for $20 if you had your own money.

Well, honey, I have a question for you.

Are you going to have a problem with me making more money? Yeah, but I'm just a

punk and I don't want to admit it.

Of course not.

How much money are you going to be making?

Why don't you see for yourself?

I told y 'all I'm going up on y 'all rent.

Wow. That's a lot of money.

I mean, all this for just a nursing job?

Excuse me?

Just a nursing position.

Just a nursing job?

What do you mean, just a... Is you gonna be just a doctor? Like you more

important than us? You act like you more important, like people gonna get more

satisfaction. Look, look, look, I'm saying, I went to medical school, okay?

mean, nurses don't go through all that.

Well, baby, let me be the first to tell you that nurses are the ones who run the

hospital. That's what I heard, because when my cousin went to the hospital, he

had to clap. That's what they say.

Not to clap. I give them... Y 'all go ahead and finish your argument.

All I'm saying is this is a lot of money. I know doctors that don't even

this much money. How about you?

So what are you trying to say, that I'm not worth it?

Anything over 70 grand, she ain't worth it. Is she worth over 70 grand?

You better say yes.

75. Oh.

$75 .54.

Anybody give me $80? Anybody give me $95?

Anybody give me $75?

So,

the big black buck doctor to the sugar mama for $2 .99.

All right, that's cool. I see how it is. He mad now.

You need a nurse?

Nope. He needs a quarter. Y 'all ain't gonna be able to have no kids if he keep

hitting that.

You got a quarter?

You want a quarter?

Make him big, fool.

Hey, can I have a quarter?

Yeah, I have a quarter.

Oh, you will fuck!

Brown!

Hey, Will, you seen Brown?

No.

Ooh, what's got your panties in a bunch?

I don't wear panties, all right?

Mm, that's not what I hear.

Oh, oh, by the way, did you get the message?

No, what message?

Your man who had called.

It misses you.

Oh, Brown, there you are.

Listen, I need change. I need to use the toilet.

Okay, you got the money?

Yeah, here you go.

Okay, here.

How many quarters in a dollar count? Oh, that's five quarters, Brown.

Okay. All right.

Yep, nice doing business with you. Oh, it's good doing business with you, too.

Oh, hey.

Magazines are no longer complimentary.

25 cents.

I am a genius. I don't know why I didn't think of something.

What was I? I should have said to myself. I should have said self. My self

have said, hmm, trust people to use the bathroom.

They got to go.

I'm racking up.

Here you are, Mr. Brown.

Oh, Curry, thank you.

Here's your receipt.

Yes, Curry, you just trying to. Oh, thank you. Drink up.

My little baby.

Hey, Edna, where you going?

I'm washing my delicates.

Oh, I thought you already took a shower.

I'm washing my clothes, brother.

Oh, okay. Well, then you're going to need some change.

You mean you are charging us to wash the clothes? Are you kidding?

No, I'm not kidding.

I'm for real.

You're going to need some change. Here you go.

Lord, I'm out of court.

I'm out of chicken.

You're going to have to wash them out the back.

Oh, you're out of scents, too.

You ain't got to act ignorant.

Boy,

this lemonade is going straight through me.

I'm going to make it go down.

See if you hold it. Squeeze your butt cheeks.

I need to use it.

I ain't got no change and I didn't put... I know we got some quarters

here. Lord, please don't send a flood until I get to the ark.

I know I done put some change.

Colonel, Colonel, you got my key? Did you see my key? Nope.

Colonel, you got a quarter?

Yep. Can I use it?

Nope. Gotta wash my delicates.

I got you!

and has made me thirsty.

I forgot to wash these dishes. Let me turn this off.

Remove the coin box on the TV?

Yes. And the vending machine?

Yes. And the turnstile?

Yes, yes, yes, I can.

Please.

Okay.

Colonel, you got a quarter?

No, I used the last one on the turnstile.

And are you? Oh, right now?

Colonel. Oh, Brown, I'm out.

You got my keys, please.

Get my keys.

It's coming through my pores. I'm just raining. Come on.

This new job thing, it does bother me.

So is it the job or the money?

I guess it's the money.

I mean, I wish it didn't bother me, but it does.

I mean, I took vows to take care of you. No, honey, we took vows to take care of

each other, for richer or poorer.

Now, you're going to have to be honest and tell me what's really bothering you

here.

I don't even really know.

I mean...

Maybe it's that if you make more money than me, then it would make me feel like

I'm not carrying my weight.

So why is it okay for you to take care of me, but I can't take care of you?

Because I'm the man, and that's my job.

I mean, you might think that's stupid, but that's the way I feel. I can't help

it.

So you want me to turn down the job?

I didn't say that.

I just... Well, honey, I hope you're not asking me...

To put my success on hold so that you can feel better about yourself.

That's not what I mean.

It's just I'm trying to figure out what the right thing to do is.

Baby, honey, you have done so right for so long.

Why don't you just let me carry the weight for a little while?

I don't know.

Believe me.

Baby, when you're done with your residency, I am going to reap all the

of being a doctor's wife.

But for right now, this might help us get ahead.

Save for our own place, raise the kids.

Where the toilets are free.

Right?

Honey.

And some think I just married you for your looks.

So are we good?

Yeah, we're good.

Well, great.

Now let's talk about your allowance.

Huh? You push it.

Project meters in the driveway, Brown!

Have you lost your mind?

What is going on?

Now, they said no making profit inside. Did nobody say nothing about outside?