Original subtitles

Hey, everybody.

Sorry we had to meet in here, but you know they're improving our teacher's

lounge. They need to be improving our paychecks.

All right, everybody, let's get started.

All right, first thing is we need more teachers to stay after school for

detention.

Why? I didn't do nothing wrong.

To tutor.

What's little Johnny going to learn at 4 o 'clock that he didn't learn at 2 .15?

Man, you crazy.

I'm just saying, you know.

Any volunteers?

Oh, good.

Look, look, look, look, look, look.

Looks good, don't it? It sure does.

I just want to grab you.

About all I say you want.

Man, please.

You ain't said nothing but a word.

Oh, two smokes out of you.

I'm talking about food.

What was you talking about?

Oh.

Man,

you must be out of your mind.

I was out of my mind in her house last night.

Really? Really.

Miss Mitchell. Miss Mitchell showed me her lesson plan.

Brother got a phone call.

Wait a minute.

I heard you loud and clear. Play up. Yeah.

Dirty talk.

All over my desk.

Real punchy.

I need to go to the office to pick up the surveys. Anybody need anything from

the cafeteria?

Coffee, tea?

Home training?

Could you bring me back some sugar?

How'd you use that sugar you spilled all over my desk?

She got your number.

Oh, yeah.

She knows me.

She like you anyway, huh?

You must be putting it down.

Oh, man, a gentleman never kisses and tells.

You need to tell me that y 'all know. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm not saying that.

I do what needs to be done.

Excuse me, teachers.

And I do use that very lightly.

My keen eyes have been spotting a few things that's going on around this

here.

Like your shirt's unbuttoned?

Don't hate on me because I'm too sexy for this shirt.

I've been working in.

But anyway, get back on the subject.

I've been spotting a few things that have been going on here that are

to what the contrary calls for.

This is a no smoking zone.

There will be no smoking.

You know who I'm talking to.

I don't know why.

time you come from break you smell like smoking meat walking around smelling

like meat looking like smut speaking of smeat uh

mac fatty i found these dice in your office what you got to say about that

that's a six week suspension man i play board games with my players it teaches

us teamwork what you need to teach them is how to catch pounds that's what you

need to be teaching somebody

Why are you always trying to be so hard, man?

You better get out of my face. That's what you better... Boy, I started

You don't know me. You knew. Who are you?

And anyway, I seen you drinking.

I seen you outside getting your drink on. You a cacaholic? You a cacaholic?

That's an energy drink. You know, it keeps me in good spirits.

Boy, I ain't no keep no spirit up in no can with that ugly sweater on.

Looking like you looking.

I'm going to get on out here. I ain't got time to babysit you heathens.

I got to get to my real job where I make some real money.

You need to come to church, little old fake Elder Borch. And I bring Elder

Lodge, too.

You, him, and Latoya. Y 'all make y 'all R &B groups.

Home number and cell number.

Get in there and show a little bit of my swag.

What is it?

They can't resist.

That's probably how you got core, right? No, no, no, no, no. Core is different.

Ah, yeah.

The choir is going to be ladies in the streets and freaks in the sheets, right?

before you make me burn myself with this hot tea.

Okay.

Man, that tea front don't work.

All right, you guys. The school board wants us to complete these surveys on

we feel about teachers' recertification.

Oh, that's easy.

is just sweet like that. And you got a nice smile, Cora. Well, thank you. I

a lot to smile about. I bet you do.

Shut up. I don't hate the player, brother. I hate the game.

My first day.

Well, if you don't want it to be your last, you better know the rules.

And the rules are, oh, be on time.

Be nice to the patients.

And never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever wake me when I'm on break.

Or wet my hair.

Look, I'm just trying to do a good job, okay?

Because you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Yes, you do. If you got your cousin's ID and social security number.

Derek, there you are, lost and on the job already.

Get somewhere and work. No, I... I want nothing.

Now, I told you I did a lot to get you this job so you can get some extra money

you say you need. Oh, speaking of money, I can give you back that 50.

Shut up. Give it here then.

Okay, Derek, this is a 10.

Well, I had to get gas and a haircut.

I'm glad you didn't need to get nothing else.

Actually, I do.

I need lunch money.

You ain't good for nothing.

Anyway, let's get started.

Now, being a janitor takes years of hard work and dedication.

So you need to be dedicated. So what you should do is follow me and do as I do.

Mr. B, I really appreciate this job.

I already cleaned this counter.

We'll see about that.

Boy, there's enough dirt on here to plant a potato.

That's impossible.

I cleaned that. With what, dirt?

Would you guys take this noise down to ICU?

It's always so quiet down there. It's like they're in a coma or something.

Okay, obviously I'm going to have to teach you my ways. My way is the right

ways.

Okay, look.

First you take your bottle and you spray it.

Then you get down on it like you really want it. And you got to make your body

become a buffer. You start buffing that thing and making your body. Look how I'm

buffetizing it. You see that thing? And get that body buffing in there like

that. And that's right. And you got to make it go fast. And then you turn it

like that. That's how you do it. You got to.

Don't hate, Mr. B.

All right, we have different styles. Besides, you're not my boss.

Well, he could be. You know Delgado got fired.

Shut up! What?

What? What? What?

Yep. So the position of sanitation superintendent is open.

Shut up. So they hired?

Mm -hmm. And anybody can apply?

That job is good as mine. How's it going? Uh -uh. Not so fast, old man.

I'm good and I'm quick.

You don't want to mess with me when it comes to janitorializing.

Boy, I smoke you like a Thanksgiving turkey.

You don't want to do it?

I'll bring it on.

You're the best janitor wing.

That's what I thought. You ain't ready to clean with me.

By the way, how did Del Gatto get fired?

I reported him for sleeping on the job.

Social committee?

Yeah, hey, a few of us teachers after the meeting got together and said we

should have a little mixer, you know. I like to mix it up. You know we need

somebody to organize it. Give me the pen. All right.

Ah, a little after school activity. We can use that. Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

You know what, Cora, I got to admit.

First time I saw you walking around these halls, I thought you were, uh,

up.

a lot of fun.

You know what? Maybe you and Reggie could double date with me and one of my

friends.

Sure, that would be great. You know, I love going to church and movies and

museums. And me and Reggie love playing.

Yeah, I heard you like to play.

Excuse me, what?

Reggie told me that, uh, sometimes y 'all... Come again?

Maybe don't, maybe not.

He said what?

I'm sorry, Cora. Did I embarrass you? Embarrass me? No. When my slip fell

my solo on first Sunday, that was embarrassing.

This is mad. Cora, me and Reggie was just talking noise. You know how guys

Yes, I know how guys are, but what that have to do with Reggie? Okay, Cora, calm

down. Calm down? I'm calming up.

Listen, it ain't like none of us is virgins, right?

Huh?

Wait a minute. You tell me Reggie is a virgin?

The coach ain't never scored. What up, Darnay?

to talk to you. Oh, yeah. I need to talk to you, too. Did you know that they

changed today from Sloppy Joe Day to Taco Day?

Did you tell Donna that we were... You know. What?

Did you tell Donna that we've been having sex?

Oh. Oh.

Look here.

You see, what had happened was... It ain't nothing funny. It ain't nothing

funny. You said it, didn't you? You did. You said it. No, of course. We was just

talking, and he assumed...

Nothing? Nothing? You should have said something. You know me and you ain't

never had no sex.

We're not going to have no sex until we get married.

That's what you should have told him.

Hey, look.

I don't know why you make it such a big deal. I make it a big deal because you

let Darnielle think that we were just so you could look cool.

No matter how it made me look. Whoa.

It makes you look cool, too.

I mean, you did all this magnificence right here.

Well, anyway, I mean, as long as we know the truth.

Well, it's important to me. And I would think it's important to you, too.

Get out of my place. Get out.

What, are you bitching in here?

Hey, short timer, get your own section. I'm buffing this side.

I already got this section. This was my section. Section 4, you got here, so go

buff that end of the house. I already buffed that end.

Hey, are y 'all arguing again?

Hey, hey, buff daddy and lazy.

Relax. I'm buff daddy.

I'm lazy, and you can't... Wait a minute. How you get finished that fast?

Yeah, I came in early, emptied the trash, I cleaned all the windows, and I

replaced the vacuum cleaner bag twice.

I'm buffing here. I've been buffing here, and I'm going to continue to buff

here. So why don't you get the buff out of here?

you just work this out like two grown men that man wears footsie pajamas and i

wear well you know what i tell you what we're gonna do we're gonna go back to

back and we're gonna face each other then we're gonna take three pesos that

and the one that get back to the spot first get the bus now this is just like

my family reunion except without the gun why

I want this superintendent job, okay, and I'm putting my best butt forward.

But I just cleaned the table then.

I did it.

Well, I cleaned the chairs. I did it.

I bet you you didn't do the magazine.

Did you do the magazine?

I bet you you didn't do it. Did you do this? I bet you ain't done none of the

magazines, did you? Did you do any of the magazines? I bet you you didn't

no magazines, did you?

Brown, look, if you still want to do something, you can always wash my car.

I'm surprised Derek ain't already did it for you.

Actually, I did.

I hope you choke on a trash bag.

So, I hear you're a shoo -in for the job.

Really? Yep, I heard it in personnel.

Brown's gonna be crushed.

Oh, you should let me tell him. Can I tell him?

What's wrong with you?

Hey,

um, boo -boo.

Did you really wash my car?

Get real, Renee.

I had a student say, Miss Simmons, you can't fail me because of no child left

behind. I said, if you don't get out of my face, you won't have no behind left

child.

Can I speak to you for a minute in private?

Well, what couldn't wait till later? Oh, we can't wait.

Well, what's so important you couldn't wait?

How could you do this?

Do what?

Hey, Reggie, how's the weather over there in Virginia?

Everybody out!

Okay. We'll be in the Virgin Islands if you need us.

Get out!

Okay, brother, calm down. Have it your way.

All right. Oh, wait. You ain't never had it no way. I forgot.

Don't act like that. Come on, girl. How you doing?

Let me holler at you. Back up, please.

What is wrong with you?

So you happy now?

What are you talking about?

You told Darnell that I was a virgin!

I did not! Ted don't know that you were a virgin.

Well, just tell everybody now.

What? I didn't say that to him.

Then what would he say?

Well, maybe during our conversation he just assumed it and I didn't say

different. Because?

Because I wanted you to see how it felt for somebody to say things about you

that weren't true.

But this is different.

Well, how is this different? This is about me.

Why are you getting so upset?

So what if he thinks you're a virgin?

It's not like it's true.

What the hell are you laughing for? Hold up, man. I'm not laughing. I just... I

think that's something to be proud of.

Oh, no. Not when you've been trying for all these years.

I'm a failure.

A man's virtue is just as precious as a woman's. No, it's not.

It is.

You made a choice and you stuck with it. No, I didn't.

I never got chosen.

I chose you.

And I want you to honor what I chose for myself.

But...

I mean, Cory, you're a widow.

So, you know, you already did this, you mop -a -doo -mank man.

Yes, but until I marry again, I'll be seven.

I don't know how you do it. I don't do it. I get by with a good book and a good

peach cobbler. And I'm not ashamed.

And you shouldn't be ashamed either.

I'm sorry, Cory, I'm not ashamed.

Really? Well, maybe a little.

I'm sorry, too, but maybe Dornier didn't tell everybody.

Maybe.

Ooh, Miss Harrison. Come here. Come here, come here, come here.

Yeah, you smell like old perfume and gout.

You smell like pout.

Here.

Get it on.

Girl,

what you got up there?

Uh,

Renee. Yep.

You see something on my shirt?

Uh, yeah, breakfast.

No, not that. I'm talking about the shiny part.

You see it?

Super intended.

Yes. Where'd you steal that from?

I didn't steal it, man. They gave me this when I got the job.

You got the job instead of Derek?

Mm -hmm.

Did you kill Derek?

I didn't kill him. I'm right here.

Oh. Good morning, Mr. Brown.

Hey, hey, hey, Derek. I bet you won't say I ain't the boss of you now.

Bam, look at that. You ain't the boss of me. You a lie.

I am the sanitation superintendent, a .k .a. the man in charge.

Big Daddy.

The Big Buffer. Watch me buffer, baby.

Congratulations,

Mr. B.

Don't try to butter me up now, trying to get all up in my face. Get to work. I'm

the supervisor around here. I'm about to go back here and do what supervisors

do.

Nothing.

I'm the supervisor around here.

I can't believe they gave Brown the job over you. Look, I told him not to

consider me for the position because, you know, I'm in school and...

The hours are too demanding.

Oh,

you ain't fooling me.

You got a heart.

You gave up that job, didn't you? Oh, you're so cool.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you're such a punk.

Oh, come on, man up.

I thought you got some tattoos and bullet wounds on your neck. A little

under your eye.

I'm going to graduate.

Do you even know what that is?

I'm going to go on to bigger and better things.

This is all that Mr. B had.

All right.

Don't miss out on free jello, rubber gloves.

Yeah, I like to entertain.

Ultimately, I think I did the right thing.

I just want to set the record straight.

I did not have relations with that woman.

I never slept with Cora.

And the second thing I want to say is, I'm a virgin, and I'm proud of it.

I'm a virgin.

Oh, tell me, do you want to tell me something?

Yeah, I wanted to clear the air.

All right, shoot.

Magic was a better pastor than Kobe would ever be.

And you know what? We can go to L .A. and watch him play.

Yeah, we can fly on Virgin Airlines.

We can listen to Madonna. I think she's with Virgin Records.

What is this made out of?

Virgin Bulls? What is that?

You know, you are beautiful.