Original subtitles

Simone, I don't know why he said that.

Your head's not big.

Your body's just small.

And your feet, that's another conversation.

No talking on the phone while you're eating.

Oh, here you go.

That means get off the phone.

I'll take your plate.

Ew, never mind.

What is it?

Mmm, turkey ham. It's good for you. Not if I don't eat it.

Sasha. Hurry up, hurry up.

Look, look, look. Look right here.

Baby, we already had this discussion, okay?

Look, your head's not big. Your body is just small.

Sounds familiar.

What are you talking about? Look, I've got a gray hair. Can you see it? Oh,

Will, relax. It's just one.

I can see six from here. No, it's ten.

Wait. Turn around, Father. Would you two stop it?

No, they're right. See?

I'm getting old.

Get it. Baby, you are not getting old. You are maturing gracefully.

What y 'all talking about?

Found a gray hair, uh.

A gray hair? I see 13 of them from here.

That's what I told you. Yeah.

Mr. Brown, we are trying to make Will feel better. Oh, okay, okay.

You know, Will, I had a gray hair once.

Really? Yes.

Then I woke up the next day like this.

Yes, you know, us Browns, we don't grow old gracefully.

We just go right on and get it out the way.

You know what?

Next thing you know, you'll wake up and your hairline will be back in.

That'll make you feel better.

Makes me feel a whole lot better.

If you're so worried, why don't you just dye your hair?

Yeah, Simone's grandfather does that.

Grandfather? Look, I think you're overreacting.

Baby, you look fantastic.

Yeah, I think you look good for 50.

I'm not 50.

I'm 30. More like 3012.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

And then somebody just came up behind me. Was it a black person or a white

person?

Mr. Brown.

Cora, continue your story. And then they snatched my purse.

Cora, did he get the white purse or the black purse? You know that white purse

is your church purse.

Mr. Brown.

I'm trying to get the facts.

Cora, did you get a good look at this guy?

No, I didn't, because by the time I, when I turned around, he was gone. He

running away. Cora, was he running fast or slow?

Because if he was black, he was running fast.

If he was white, he was running slow, Carl.

So take me to that ATM machine, because they'll come back to me stealing the

crime. And when they do, they're going to withdraw my foot out of there.

Mr. Brown, that's the last thing we need is more violence. I want more violence,

because I'm walking short.

Carl, are you sure you're not hurt? No, I'm just shaking up a little bit. All

right, well, what did the police have to say? Well, I told them everything I

could, but they said crimes like this, they usually go unsolved.

What the po -po gonna do? If the po -po had been doing their job, he would have

never got jacked. That's true.

They never ran when you need them. Calm down, Cora, okay? Now, listen, you're

gonna have to cancel all of your credit cards and get yourself a new life.

That's right.

That means he knows where I live. He knows where we live.

No, no, no, no. Don't worry about that. Listen, listen. What about your cell

phone and your keys? Were they in your purse, too? Well, everything was in my

purse. Check the cell phone.

Check the cell phone.

You're gonna have to change the locks, Uncle Brian.

Oh, what if he comes here? What if he comes here? I wish that fool would. Then

won't have to roll him up. Come here.

Come get him.

Wait, Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown, I don't want revenge. Yes, I do. I want revenge. I

just want to be safe.

Well, get safe, Cora. Tell the Lord thank you.

Speaking of safety, Cora, do you have any pepper spray?

No, I don't have none of that. You know what? I got some hairspray I'm not

using. Take that. You ever got hairspray in your eyes?

That stuff will stick your eye.

Just like that, you'll have him just froze.

Next thing, he'll be stuck.

Look, Corbin, what I think you need to do is make sure that you get Reggie to

take you to and from your car at work, okay?

Please, there ain't gonna be no to and fro.

He's so fat, by the time two get to fro, he gonna need some oxygen.

Just keep talking to myself.

I can't do it by myself. You know what, Corbin? You're right.

I got to know what I need to do. Five, five, five.

Five, five, five, five, five.

Five, five.

Nine.

Maria!

This me?

Yeah, put your throw -down wig on somebody to inject our baby.

That's right, my dear. Light up a cigarette. Ride or die, fool.

Ride or die.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.

At least he stopped crying.

Hey, I wasn't crying.

I had something in my eye.

a jump shot.

What a game.

I mean, I can't believe you let a girl cross you over like that.

Hey, hey, hey. That wasn't a girl.

That was a fembot.

Yeah. Well, you got posterized.

Basically, your basketball days are over.

I blocked that one guy's shot.

You fell on him.

That counts.

But you know what? I'll do better tomorrow.

All right, I'll redeem myself.

About tomorrow.

What? You found somebody else?

Not quite.

We're just going to go with four.

So, hold on. That means I can't play?

That's what it means.

Jericho, like you always tell me, we're all winners.

Well, that's what you say to losers, Joaquin.

I know.

That's why I'm telling you.

You know, hey.

I used to be really good. Almost went pro, even.

Really? Yeah.

What happened? Did you get hurt?

No, I got cut.

Well, at least you're a doctor, old school.

Old school?

Hey,

Cora, I need to...

They're going to get you, my dear, patrolling the block.

You got to tell people for you to walk up on them like that. Oh, Curry, pull

yourself together. Girl, it's been three days. Let's go for a walk. It's not

safe out there. It's not safe. I'm not going out there. I tell you what, if you

swang on me again, it ain't going to be safe in here.

What's got into you?

Oh, Lord.

won't you?

Hold on. You can never be too safe nowadays.

What's wrong with you and this car?

Well, I hope she make it.

What's wrong with you? Got us locked in here like Rufus McGinnis or somebody.

Who is that?

Carver, you don't even remember your cousin. He been locked up so long y 'all

done forgot the boy's name.

Oh, Lord. They just locked us down. I know they seen us.

You can't be too safe. Look at this.

Run, Thomas, run!

Run,

Thomas, run!

Get some stamina, don't you? Are you finished, you fat rainbow?

We got some groceries, Cora.

Groceries? Thank you, Miss Edna.

I'm trying to starve out the house, and y 'all steady disabling us.

Well, Edna, the longer Cora's in here, the harder it's going to be for her to

acclimate to society.

That's right. You know what? You follow... up a horse and there's more

the sea, but they're all outside.

Ain't that right, Patrick?

Oh, something like that.

I think what he's trying to say is that you have to learn how to trust people

again, Cory. Well, I don't know if I can do that, Miss Edna.

Well, Cory, if you can't trust them, you might as well learn how to beat them

up. That's right. My baby taught me self -defense.

Really? Let me show you a couple of my moves. Watch it, Cory.

No, Edna got an unfair advantage.

Her face is a weapon of mass destruction.

One look and you see.

Zip it.

You shoo -footed psychop.

No, but I don't need anything. I'm going to be fine, Colonel. I'll be fine.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm going to be fine. Oh!

Oh, wait a minute. I'm so sorry, baby.

I'm missing.

Are you fine?

Yeah, you're right. You don't need nothing. You fine.

Yep, you fine.

Self -defense is a way of survival.

In the core, hand -to -hand combat is a way of life.

Bones were crushed, eyeballs are gouged, and limbs were lost.

And that was just in the mess hall.

You're killing me, Colonel.

Colonel, I don't know about this.

Well, what is it that you don't know about? You want to protect yourself,

you? Yeah, I guess, I guess.

Well, look, I told Edna to protect herself while she brought a man to his

with just one kidney punch. Oh, baby, I told you it was a mistake. I'm sorry.

Yeah, but the pain don't go away. Let it go.

Well, Cora, you have to also look at your surroundings. Okay. The enemy can

just like you and me.

And sometimes he can be hideous.

I rest my case.

I will defeat you and your entire family with my compound chicken cut

technique.

I am the karate adult.

You're like that, Marie.

You're kidding.

You can take the dog food from my hand. You must go.

I'll knock that fat kid over.

I'm trying to show Cora how to defend herself

so she can go out.

I'm going to get it in my own pace, Colonel.

Oh, Cora, hurry up and get out this house before you grow old and ugly like

Edna. Hurry up.

Okay, Cora, now for the first move.

Now, what I want you to do is try to block my punch.

Okay. Okay, come on.

Block your punch. Block my punch.

Block my punch.

Okay.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait,

Now, I bet you didn't know when I was in school, I was a golden glove champ.

Oh, please, you're a bother.

No, it was an art class. I painted my gloves gold. I had the best gloves

I had glitter on them.

Then one day, my gloves was in the showcase, glittered up, and somebody...

Tears to the heart attack.

Okay. For this next technique, I will need a volunteer.

Is there one?

Go ahead, Edna.

Okay.

I thought I was going to get a human, but an animal will do.

This next technique I will teach you all is called the kangaroo technique.

There's only two people that know the kangaroo.

That's me and the kangaroo.

another bear.

I'll fight you over salmon.

The bear walks up behind you and grabs you. What do you do?

I don't know.

Maybe I try something like this.

Animal control.

I'm being attacked by a bear.

Come on, Derek. That was our book. Follow the tapes.

What's up with Will? He keeps saying stuff like word.

On the strength.

Look, would you leave him alone?

He's just having a hard time because he thinks he's getting too old.

Yeah, that's what happens at y 'all's age.

Excuse me?

I know how he feels.

Things were a lot easier when I was seven.

All right, now listen. When he comes down, I want you all to be nice and act

like nothing's changed.

Okay. All right.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

What up, family?

Ha, word on the slip.

Uh, did you lose your belt?

No, no, no.

Wow.

Yeah. Ha, ha, ha.

Well, wouldn't it help more if it was above your waist?

Yeah, way above your waist.

Like those shorts you had on yesterday, Moses.

Yeah. Look at that. Moses.

I was putting it on another day like Moses Malone.

No.

Just Moses.

Hmm. So you're sagging now.

I mean, you know.

Try to let it do what it do, shout.

Shout. Who is shout?

Shout it.

That's you.

Son, son.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like my new get up D spice.

Like a hip hop Christmas tree.

Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah.

See, I'm taking it back.

You don't know nothing about this.

Y 'all, Poppy, this is retro.

This is oh, no.

Y 'all trying to peep this flick or what? All right, come on. Let's hop in

whip.

Baby, are you sure you want to go to movies like that?

You know, it's just that it's kind of cold outside, so you might want to cover

it all.

Yeah, and there's people there.

You know what?

I ain't worried about it, because I'm dressed to impress.

Look up, look up. Funky fresh.

Two words. Okay.

I sounds like.

I.

I. I fat.

Yes, you are fat, Edna, but don't tell personal stuff, right? Let me try it

again.

Fool.

Fool. Fool.

Fool. I fool.

I, for one, don't know what you're talking about. What, Colonel?

game. It's rigged. I don't want to play no more. Let's play something else.

Why don't you play dead?

Why don't you play in traffic?

Yeah, Cora, we've been playing this game for hours. It's time for us to go.

Yes, yes. You got to get Edna out of here before she change back.

Mr.

Brown. Okay, okay, okay.

I'm going to play one more game. I'm going to get a board game. No, Cora, no,

no, no.

What, Mr. Brown? We don't want to play no more games. Why don't we play Edna

Colonel go home and... Barbara, you stop acting like a little girl and go

outside. Mr. Brown, we already talked about this. We don't want to talk about

this no more.

Oh.

Get it.

Who is it?

It's Sasha.

It's MC Willie B and my two little homies. Well, what's the past worth?

Oh, come on. For goodness sake.

Cora.

What?

You can't never be too slave these days.

Oh, it's a... Hey, everybody!

What the what?

What's up, Holmes?

It's a nice new diggity -daddy, and it's... What do you mean?

We were at the movies, and I thought the movie was really scary until I saw

Will's fat laces.

And then he kept asking all my friends, how you like me now, Rob?

It's embarrassing!

Whatever. Don't hate the player.

Hate the game.

colors at war with one another.

Yeah,

Uncle B, you got served.

Why do you have that on?

What? Oh, I look fresh.

This is what's going on, you know what I'm saying?

Nobody know nothing, you said, because you ain't said nothing, you know what

saying?

Willie B found a gray hair.

So? What?

I'm saying, you know what I mean?

I wouldn't think I'm getting old or nothing.

Well, getting old is a blessing. Man, it brings wisdom, experience,

and a chance to live a long life.

And you get a 10 % discount at Stucky's. Yes!

What?

Oh, yeah. I can't believe you let a little gray hair just change your whole

of looking at things.

Hey.

But it looks like I'm not the only one who overreacted.

And that was the terrible thing.

But you got through it. You survived.

Yeah, but I was scared. What if it happens again? Okay, well, Cara, you got

have more faith than that. God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of

power, and a sound mind. I can't believe you said something right.

You're right. You're right, Mr. Grant. I know. It ain't about me being right.

It's about the word. I know the word. Ha! Word.

Would you give it a rest?

Come on.

Come on, Cora. Come on. We're going to go outside. You can stay in there. Me,

Sasha, the colonel, and sick Rick right here are going to go with you.

Come on.

Come on, Cora. Come on, Cora. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Cora, you did

it. Yeah. You did it. Yeah, Cora.

Now, how do you feel?

I feel good.

I feel good. You feel good?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, I'm hungry. Let's celebrate. Let's go eat.

Word.

Who locked the door?

Anybody got a key?

Who was that?

Well, hey, y 'all out here, yo.

I think we freaked out.

Get those paddles going on.

All right. What you got, Uncle? I'm game. Uncle B, the future of the funk.

All right, you ready? Drop me a beat on that thing.

Let me see, let me see.

Emma got a face like a bat. A body like a goat.

Somebody needs to check her throat. Come on.