Original subtitles

Can I vent?

Vent, brother, vent!

Have you ever been driving around and you almost run out of gas looking for

cheaper gas?

Or have you ever talked to somebody whose breath stays so bad that you just

blink and just... Oh, man, that boy sure is funny. He needs to

be on Def Jam.

And you need to stop eating jam.

That's going too bad for me. I would wait if I was you, Mr. Brown. Wait for

This iced tea is going right through me.

Oh, hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute now. Can I vent?

Vent, brother.

Vent. Why you got surfing up? It's not like we can see. We can see you, man. We

can see you.

Okay, leave me alone. Why you going to call me out on the mic? Stop. Leave me

alone. Yeah, just like if somebody was looking for you, they'd be like, what

color you got on? They'd be like, all of them.

Okay, that was funny. Now just leave me alone, because I'm just going to go to

the bathroom. Stop.

Yeah, look at you, Al. Look how tight it is. Got you showing your belly button

like a cup holder, just all out.

Hey, where you get those clothes from? Where you get those clothes from?

I got these clothes from your mama.

Yes, I got them out of a hamper, along with a jockstrap and a muscle shirt. Now

what?

me, you should have left me alone. If you leave me to sleep, I'll sleep. But

done woke me up. What?

So you got jokes.

Well, that makes one of us.

So you think you're funnier than me, huh?

Cora done had cramps funnier than you. Cora, I'm sure.

Hey,

man.

I take this comedy stuff serious.

That's probably why you not funny.

I got to go to the bathroom. I ain't going to be sitting fooling with you. I

to go. Well, why don't you come on up here then if you think you're funny to

You're going to see it's a lot easier to be funny out there than up here. Well,

why don't you do your next set from my seat then?

You want to see something funny? Pull out a mirror.

do that again, the smallest one in the tribe is going to get sacrificed to the

belt god.

Come on, guys. Hurry.

We need to get you to school early for your testing, remember?

Testing? What testing, babe?

The school district is conducting IQ tests. Remember I told you about that?

yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do we have to take an IQ test?

Well, our IQ tests are to measure how intelligent you are.

Oh, or in your case, how stupid.

When you least expect it, expect it. What?

Hey, you two, get in the car.

Lunch. Oh, you two, a minute.

But deep down in Thighhorn, they love each other.

Ow!

And that love is growing deeper and deeper every day.

Later, baby. All right. Hey, Rihanna.

Get the boy out the headlock.

If that lug gets in the deeper, somebody's going to get hurt.

Y 'all not going to believe it? Y 'all not going to believe it. What? What

happened? It's something I've been avoiding all my life, but I finally got

Matching your clothes?

Hey, hey, hey, don't be disrespected, Cora.

That's disrespectful, Mr. Brown. Whatever, same thing. But anyway, I was

trying to... Mr. Brown, I was...

tastes like bubble gum.

That's a new recipe.

That's good.

But anyway, I found my calling. I finally found my calling. I was laying

in my bed, and I looked at myself. I said, Chef?

My chef said, hmm?

I said, what's your calling?

My chef said, stand up.

Just like that. Plain as day. Stand up.

And when you stood up, what happened?

Oh, that's my calling. Stand up.

Oh, what's so funny?

Mr. Brown, you want to be a comedian?

Why not?

Because you're not funny.

Boy, what you talking about? All my life, people been calling me funny.

That's funny looking.

It's still funny.

You know, I called down to the comedy club, and they invited me to participate

in Amateur Week. Oh.

Yes, the winner gets to host the whole night by herself.

Really? Yes, yes. Mr. Brown, that sounds great.

Yep. Sounds better than great.

I'm so excited, I can't even eat.

I can't eat. I ain't eating nothing.

I'm tough. I don't feel like it.

That's better than great.

Because you act like you're not happy for me.

Why are you not excited?

That boy do something to you. Reggie do something to you.

No. If he did, I'd bust a cap right up in him.

No, Mr. Brent. Gordon said the school would cut him back on their budget. And

they may have to let Reggie go.

That's a shame. Now you got to dump him.

No money? No, honey.

Why?

Why?

So silly.

Rihanna, it's not a big deal.

It's easy for you to say.

It doesn't mean anything.

Why are your eyes red?

Oh, allergies.

Are you crying?

No.

Again?

Well, you know you can't watch The Color Purple by yourself.

Joaquin's IQ is way above average.

Really? Yeah.

Well, that's great. I know.

Where is he?

Sasha, do you have any more books I can read? These pictures are so distracting.

I just like to focus on the text. You know what I mean?

For the last time, pictures in books are good. Words are bad.

Maybe in your average world, Dumbelina.

Joaquin, that's enough.

How would you feel if your little brother's IQ was higher than yours?

I'd be fine.

And... I'd be proud of him.

Well, good.

Because his IQ is higher than yours, too.

What?

It's higher than mine, too.

Baby, the facilitators actually called him a genius.

That's genius.

G -E -N -I -U -S.

you got that brianna i'm a genius what's

up amateur night the next comedian is coming to

this stage has never met a color that he didn't like let's give it up for the

funny man we simply know it's brown red

I think you're going to kill.

Thank you, Reggie. Thank you. Thank you. Pray for me. Pray my strength.

He's going to get killed.

Hello.

Hello.

You know,

I just flew in from Chicago, and my arm's tired.

Yeah. Yeah.

Boy, this is a tough crowd, ain't it?

think he's doing so good how can you hear over all this silence uh um anybody

got any kids that's always good kids how about anybody got any parents yes yes

uh you know this kind of reminds me of my favorite mama madia yeah she used to

take her daughter cora she was underage cora right there to a strip club when

she was eight years old to take your baby to work week

Yeah, she'd take a kid, but my dear was the only one that they would paint not

to take off her clothes.

Yeah, my dear was a great big old one. Woo, she was great big.

See, she couldn't have a regular pole like the other women. She had to have a

telephone pole.

Greased ass.

I mean, that's hilarious.

Yeah, she would take Corrie to school. They would say, uh, they'll go to

Because Corrie would go to the strip club. She was underage, and Madea was

usually under arrest.

Corrie turned out all right, though. At least she got a job, yes.

Because it's hard out here for a pimp right now.

Barbara got a job. She working. That's when she met our no good boyfriend.

He's a coach at the school.

Boy, that team is sorry.

They're sorry.

They say, well, don't worry. We'll do better next year.

It's too bad.

Mr. Brown, I admire your guts. How tight his shirt is look like we can all

admire his guts!

I'm killing!

My name is Mr. Brown, and I'll be here all week. I'll see you!

I want the gospel version, Bootsy. I like gospel.

Hey, Sasha.

Hey, girl. Look at you, girl.

What's up, Mom? I'm good. I'm good. Hey, sorry we're late.

Oh, no. You should have been here. Boy, I...

We can use some laughs about now.

What's wrong?

It's Joaquin.

Ah, them Puerto Rican people came back to get their child.

No. A white family.

No. The French people came to get him.

How about Indonesia's people?

No, Mr. Brown. No one came to claim Joaquin. Oh, don't nobody want him.

That's not what we mean. What we're talking about is we found out that

has the highest intelligent quotient in the whole family.

Wow, that sounds contagious.

It ain't something I can get, is it?

No, Mr. Brown, you have nothing to worry about.

It just means he's really smart.

The problem is that ever since he found out, he's been acting a little full of

himself. Oh.

Well, you ought to just give him some prune juice. He'll be all right.

I mean, God is smarter than me, but we make that thing work.

Is that how that works? Yes, yes.

Oh, nephew, my set is about to start. Come on, I'm about to shut it up in this

place.

I'm bringing to the stage for you to dance a man that really needs no

introduction, Leroy Brown.

You have kids?

You have daughters?

One daughter?

Oh, I bet you she look just like you. That ain't nothing a little surgery

cure. Okay,

how many of y 'all got kids that are smarter than you?

Yeah, well, I can look at you and tell.

You know, my nephew and his wife, they kids smarter than him.

They got this little Puerto Rican boy. He's smart.

You know, that wouldn't be so bad, except my nephew is a doctor.

killed the man on the operating table that was my nephew raise your hand

so they can see he got his

own practice it's called male practice the

man laid on the operating table and woke up dead just like that

i'm killing nephew just like you get it

Uncle Brown, you just shouldn't have done that. That's all. That was wrong,

Mr. Brown, you can't go around spreading people's personal business.

Well, obviously I can. Some of them just don't like it.

Look, I said I was sorry. I'm just glad they could fit my salary in the budget

so I could keep my job.

Cobra, help your daddy. These heathens done turned on me.

What? Oh, you used them in your set, too?

Yeah.

Et tu, Cobra?

Et tu?

I learned that from Wacom.

You know he's smarter than everybody in here.

Mr. Brown, what happens in this house should stay in this house. Right.

This ain't Vegas. You shouldn't even be in this house. Get out of my face.

Could you promise not to use us in your act anymore?

Okay, I promise not to use you in my act anymore.

Not just her.

Any of us. I'm going to not use y 'all.

Are you telling the truth?

routine away from winning this whole thing and who knows they might give me

own sitcom

ain't nobody

giving you no sitcom you know what when they do you ain't gonna be in it y 'all

not gonna be in it and you sure not gonna be in it like the good book says

turn the other cheek and y 'all can watch it go away watch watch the cheek

He needs a taste of his own medicine.

I

don't

know why you're struggling.

You're going to get a C anyway.

How do you know I'm going to get a C?

Because you're average.

And average people get Cs.

You think you're so smart, don't you?

I know.

And I have documents to prove it.

Hey.

What are you two talking about?

Joaquin is bragging about how smart he is and how he thinks he's better than

everybody else.

Really? If we were a video game, I'd be the high score.

And you'd still be trying to turn it on.

So you think that you're better than your sister.

The numbers don't lie.

So the next time someone at school picks on you, you're just going to smart your

way through it instead of asking your sister for help.

I'm not saying that.

But you are too smart to need help.

Huh?

So what are you going to cook for us for breakfast tomorrow?

You know I can't cook.

Oh, you can't?

Well, that's funny because your big sister can.

Not for him.

Joaquin, do you understand the point I'm trying to make?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

When Brianna grows up, she's either going to be a gladiator or a cook.

Ow! Ow!

So even with that high IQ of yours, you still felt the same pain?

Yes, ma 'am.

Okay, well, I'm also guessing that if you got a cut, you would also bleed the

same red.

I don't know.

Let's see.

Sweetheart, the point I'm trying to make...

Is that even though you scored really high on a test, it doesn't make you

than anyone else.

And a really smart person uses their gift to help others, not put them down.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to tell that to me.

Tell that to your sister.

I'm sorry, Brianna.

It's okay, Joaquin.

Can you help me with my homework?

Sure.

Can you just do it for me?

Then you'll get an A.

And your teachers will never believe that.

But what's up with the megachurches?

I'm telling you, they're just too big.

I went up to the pastor the other day. I said, Pastor, how I get to heaven?

He gonna look at me and say, go down to the aisle eight and make a right and

heaven will be on your left.

You better hope heaven don't have a dress code.

You better hope I don't figure out who said that. Who said it?