Original subtitles

Oh, okay, okay, here they come, here they come.

You know what to do, right?

You know what's gonna cop you, right?

Oh, uh,

here.

Ooh, a dollar.

Now I can get the nothing I've always wanted.

Thank you.

Oh, now I can get two.

Hey, guys. Hey, kids.

Oh, I don't know, Joaquin.

Maybe we could give this stuff to the Salvation Army.

But I know how much you love this stuff.

But alas, there are people who are in more need than me.

Oh, that was amazing.

Now what's going on?

Just going through some old things that I can't wear anymore.

And, uh, what's wrong with these things?

Uh, well, this blouse is worn.

Honey, that blouse is fine. Why would you say it's worn?

Because she wore it yesterday. Do you really expect her to wear it again this

month?

Too much?

Yeah.

Face it, guys, I need to... Or you could just wear these.

They still have the tags.

I know, but vintage clothes are in style now.

Okay, wait. You want to get rid of new clothes and go buy old clothes?

No.

Not old clothes.

Vintage.

Yeah, well, you know what, Bree?

You, my dear, are old enough to make these decisions yourself.

Get what you want.

What have you done with our parents?

I love you guys so much. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, wait, no. I need some money.

No, my dear. You need a job.

See, when I was your age, I cut grass. I delivered newspapers.

I fixed carburetors.

Yeah, but you had poor parents.

He didn't even know whose dad was.

Really?

Too much?

Yeah. Listen, my mom busted her butt to make sure that I had a good education.

All right.

I figured you'd go all ditch -digger daughter on me, which is why I put in

applications for a part -time job.

That's great, Marie. Yeah, that's good. Way to be proactive.

Good girl. Yeah, I'll start as soon as somebody hires me.

But until then... Good luck with that.

That worked out well.

What do you mean? I didn't get the money.

But now you need to get a job. And I got paid to watch your dreams get

shattered.

Whatever. My dreams are not shattered.

Nobody's going to hire me.

Why not?

You have blue collar written all over you.

Which is why I can't get a job.

If I start working now, they'll expect me to keep it up.

So I lied on every application and made it seem like I was a total moron.

I thought you said you lied.

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

No way.

Welcome to the Charmin Chicken.

Come

on,

Mr. Brown, you're going to make us late.

Okay, Curry, have you seen my green stamp book?

Green stamp?

They right next to your lava lamp and your 8 -track tapes.

Cora, that ain't funny. Ain't nobody saying nothing about the rubber sheets

got on your bed upstairs.

Ain't nobody got no rubber sheets. Licky.

Who is this?

Hey, Cora.

Hi, Mr.

Perthelene Marie Jones.

Oh, how do you know my name? Sometimes I read things. What, palm leaves, cards?

No mail.

Cora Jean Simmons. Oh. Found this in the mailbox.

Oh, my mail?

No, honey, yours.

No, I just decided to bring it to you. It's a neighborly thing to do. Oh,

really? OK, Carver, I'm ready to go. Mr.

Brown, do you know what this is?

Yes! I like your music, James Brown.

No, that's not him. No, this is her.

Oh, it got the same her.

Well, you don't know her, him, them? No, I don't know. Well, if you don't know

them, they need to be leaving. You funny.

What's your name?

Leroy S. Brown.

And the S is for Stranger Danger!

Get away!

Stranger Danger! Get away!

Stop it, Mr. Brown. She's just being friendly.

Uh, Carver, we can be friendly later. We need to get going to the hair show.

What you doing going to a hair show? Uh, what you doing not going to a hair

show? What the what?

Miss, uh, Miss Perthelene. Yes, Miss Perthelene. Uh, what can we do for you?

nothing. I was just walking through the neighborhood, just meeting people.

Well, we would love to stay and talk, but we don't want to. Well, we really

don't have time right now. That's why we don't have time right now. Cora, I

guess that's the nice way to say it. Well, maybe you could come back, you

some other time. When we're not at home. When you see no lights and no action,

you can stop by. Well, it was nice to meet nice people. Yes.

And you.

Oh, and you.

Hi, guys. Okay, so you said you wanted a six -piece with an extra large fry, two

apple pies, and an order of onion rings, right?

Okay. One heart attack to go.

And a diet sweet tea.

Hi. Welcome to the Charmin Chicken. May I help you? Excuse me.

Can I see you for a minute, please?

Yes. Page 329 of the Charmin Chicken handbook clearly states the greeting

be delivered like so.

Welcome to Charmin Chicken.

Cook a wok!

I'm not doing that.

We both know you lied on your application.

How do you know?

Your references are Oprah, P. Diddy, and Dora the Explorer.

You don't know who I know.

You need to take this job seriously, okay? You should be lucky you're the

applicant.

Look, this is the first day of the rest of your life that's going to bring so

much joy to so many people in your life. It's chicken!

How hard can it be?

Hey,

okay, so here's your two chili vanillas with tofu.

A side of Kevin Bacon and three red hot chili peppers.

Here you go, darling. Three dog nights and a dairy Manilow.

I threw in a few Tina turnips.

Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to give away food.

What Randolph don't know won't hurt him, but it will help my tips.

You got time to lean, you got time to clean.

What's his story?

Oh, his folks bought the place and made him manager, just so they could keep him

out of their hair.

Well, what does he do on his off time?

Honey, he's off today.

What about you?

You ain't old enough to have any true Hollywood story.

My folks are forcing me to work just so I can buy my own stuff. They want you to

be responsible.

Those bastards.

Tell me.

Well, cheer up. At least you got folks who care.

I got two boys.

One is almost your age.

I ain't seen either of them in a few years.

It must be hard.

You get used to it after a while.

They live in Texas with their dad.

I just don't have the money to go see him.

But, hell, that ain't your problem. Ladies, you can stand in the

line.

We better get back to work. Yeah, before the warden blows his top.

So, uh, did you want the fat or the skinny Elvis?

Oh, one second.

Hey, Simone, what's up?

No, girl, I hate it.

No, I can't quit now. I'll look like a failure.

I just have to do the mature thing and... get fired.

Well,

you enjoying your lunch? Mm -hmm.

What'd I tell you about eating my leftovers?

What are you doing? Uncle Brown just ate some leftovers?

Oh, my bad. Just go ahead and eat your stuff.

So that should make you a nice look, huh?

Mm -mm.

Your friend did.

My friend? What friend?

I know what you're going to say.

Oh, Lord, we've been stalked by the ghost of Miss Kizzy.

No.

Well, what, you lose your map to the Underground Railroad?

Mr. Brown.

Well, Kurt, I can go all day. Where do you keep popping up from? Mr. and Mrs.

Carter, can I talk to you for a minute?

Got this Mr.

Rogers sweat on.

Will you be mine?

Is everything all right, baby girl?

Yes, I think so.

But why are you back here again?

Well, you said I could come by any time, unless you didn't mean it.

Yes, I did. I did mean it.

Why did you tell him that we were friends, Ms. Bertolini?

Because we are friends.

Don't you think we're friends, Carl?

Well, yeah,

I think so. You know what?

I'll be right back. Just stay right here.

Mr. Brown.

Cora, ask your stalker what we're going to have for dessert.

He's not a stalker, Mr. Brown.

But she is making me a little nervous, though.

It's like she just keeps popping up, appearing from nowhere. I know, Jeff.

up. She's like... Mr.

Brown, and there's no telling what she put in this food y 'all eating.

Her feet.

What's Mrs. Jones doing here?

Oh, are those Oxtails? No, my sister.

You got to get your own.

Sasha, you know her?

She comes to the hospital to talk to the patient.

Rich, she lost her husband last year. High blood pressure.

I better go talk to her.

Okay. Ooh, and I better get going, too.

Bye. Oh, baby, where you going?

Nowhere. All right, you better not be going on down there to the chicken place

to spy on Brianna.

Me?

No.

You a lie.

She's gone.

Oh, Corrin, I hope not in my living room, Corrin. No, she left.

Oh, I thought you meant like up a room left.

Like... Oh, my God.

Hurry up. Wait a minute, let me get me a cornbread. It might be a while.

I can't believe the driver just kept going like that.

Man, I've never seen anything like that.

I know she was old, but I thought she was more sturdy than this.

I'm going to miss you, Mel B.

Who names their mailbox?

People with their own.

I don't know what I was thinking.

All she wanted was a little company.

I mean, if something happens to her, I don't know what I'll do.

Don't beat yourself up, Carl.

I'm sure she's just gone home.

What if she doesn't go home, Will?

If she's missing, then maybe her family will just put out a Maddie alert.

Maddie alert?

Her name is Pertheline.

How they going to find out about it if they don't even know her first name? Are

y 'all confused?

A Maddie alert is like an Amber alert.

It's an emergency alert for, you know, a missing, disabled, or elderly person.

Well, why don't they just say alert?

Something like that.

Y 'all worry about nothing. Everything's going to be all right. I'm telling y

'all.

An unidentified elderly woman was found unconscious in a wooded area of West

Atlanta. Authorities are trying to locate her family now. Well, maybe

ain't gonna be all right.

This customer wanted the low -calorie lunch.

Did he?

There you go. Half the calories.

You're good.

Are you responsible for putting sugar on the fries?

Yeah.

It was me.

Dang, sugar and salt look so much alike.

I'll get messy.

Turns out the customers actually love them. Great job.

You know, you actually have a future here at Charmin' Chicken. Good stuff.

Hey.

Welcome to Charmin' Chicken. Cluck, cluck.

Paige, here we come.

Honey, look at you in your uniform. You look so cute. Oh, Sasha.

Don't tell anyone we're related.

And by the way, your cluck stinks.

What are you guys doing here?

We just came by for a little dessert.

What do you recommend?

Anywhere but here.

Wow, so that's the thanks we get for supporting you?

Thanks. I feel the love.

Get out.

Oh, who is a handsome family? Oh, hi, we're Brianna's family.

I'm Sasha, and he's enjoying every minute of this.

Oh, this is so embarrassing.

Bree, why don't you let me get your little brother a free Dairy Manalow?

are my favorite.

Here. Thanks.

You're welcome. Get out.

Looks like you're doing a great job.

She sure is.

Aw. Honey, we are so proud of you.

You are? Yes, we are.

Even Joaquin?

Don't hold your breath waiting on that one.

Look, it's nice to see you take on some responsibility.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, you're embarrassing me. Get out.

Wait, you're wearing a beak, but we're embarrassing you?

Get out.

Now.

All right, yeah.

Uncle Brian, how can you eat at a time like this? Like this?

If something happens to Miss Pertheline, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

It's not your fault, Cora.

I basically threw her outside.

I mean, I should have asked more questions.

Cora, maybe I should have been nicer to her.

Yes. Well, I didn't know her.

for me to do.

Oh, there's another news report here. Turn that up, huh? Uh -huh.

Atlanta authorities have identified the elderly woman found near I -85.

Her name is... Oh, wow.

What? Shh.

We can't hear if you're quenching. What'd you say her name was?

I repeat, her name is... What'd you say

her name was?

They said Rosie Johnson.

Oh, Miss Pertheline.

Oh, I'm so glad you're safe.

Oh, my.

Well, that's a pretty big hug for somebody who's getting on your nerves.

I never said that.

Girl, I am an old woman, and I know when I'm getting on somebody's nerves. Okay,

if you knew that, why you come running back over here?

Mr. Brown. Well, she did, right? I went home to get the tuna casserole.

Shut up. Oh, is that what you put stuff under the crumb of this girl? I'm going

to sit right here. You go ahead and come up missing again.

Let me tell you what the truth is.

I just wanted to cook for somebody.

I'm not ashamed to say that I get lonely.

A mother never expects to outlive her children, her husband, her

dog.

And the cat just died.

That's what that Harry is.

I'm sorry. I didn't want to seem like I didn't have time. Child, you've got a

family to take care of, and them two right there, they sure can't eat.

You're right.

Well, Ms. Perthelene, we'd love for you to come by and continue to bless us with

your cooking.

Uh, first of all, you can't get nobody permission to do nothing up in my house.

In my house. Over here.

All right, well, you know what? I'm going to tell Sasha that we found Ms.

Perthelene. You ain't found her. She just zapped her.

Miss Perthelaine, just stop by any time.

Are you saying that you want to be friends with this lonely old lady?

No.

I'm just saying we're family.

Oh, we're doing it like that?

Okay, fam.

Let me buy $50.

Well, you can give me $50. You done killed everybody.

You killed the kids, killed the dog, killed the cat, too, because you're

everybody up in here.

Who gave away that dairy manor to that poor family?

Poor? That was my family.

That explains a lot.

Be that as it may, one of you stole from the big chicken.

That would not be tolerated.

Nobody stole anything.

Well, I saw a little boy walk out here and say, and I quote, thanks for the

ice cream.

Free!

I want to know which one of you did it.

Would you lighten up?

Oh, I don't lighten up. I'm going to lighten up by losing one of my

Connie. We've had this discussion before.

Huh? This is your third strike.

So you know what that means, right?

Let's go!

No, you're out.

Okay, look.

I did it.

What?

Honey, don't try to cover for me.

You tried to warn me, remember?

It's just my time to face the music.

So it was you.

I knew you wouldn't last.

Go take care of our paying customers.

Go while you still have a job.

Now.

I guess I'll get my thing.

Surprised me, Brianna.

Why? I said I did it.

I had you paired wrong. I thought you were the selfish type, and you turned

around and did the exact opposite.

What are you talking about?

I know Connie was the one who gave away the free ice cream.

How do you know?

I didn't. You just told me.

So what do you have to say for yourself, huh?

Nothing.

That's it.

Just like that. You're going to give up just like that.

I don't have time for this.

What do you have time for? What, hanging out with your friends?

Avoiding hard work?

I guarantee if you keep that up, you'll have a future of even harder work and

lower wages.

How could they be lower?

Wait, I thought you didn't like me.

I don't even know you.

Is that what you think, that if someone's hard on you, it's because they

like you?

Uh, yeah.

Well, I'm hard on you because I see the potential in you.

The fact is, you don't even see it in yourself.

So, what are you going to do?

Are you going to quit?

Or are you going to hang in there and tough it out?

customers sit there.

It's my girl.

I'm still not doing this.

Page 156 of the Chicken Bible says, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's chicken.

Bree. Okay, I know. He's way stiffer than that. Okay, how's this?

Chicken is the root of all happiness.

Now, practice your cluck.

He's right behind me, isn't he?

Cluck?

I'll cluck out.