Original subtitles

What are you doing?

Look, I came to class earlier to grade some papers, and I found a man in my

desk. Oh, well, Cora, turn him into lost and found. If ain't nobody playing him

in 30 days, he all yours. I knew you'd find him. Mr. Brown, I'm serious.

You got one more time to hit me before I get you back. Okay.

Cora, calm down.

Look, stand right there. I'm going to check it out for you. Okay.

Cora, it's a man in there.

Well, thank you very much, Sherlock.

Okay, your smart mouth ain't helping nothing.

Now look, I'm going to go in there and check it out. You stay right here.

Shh.

You need Asia to cover you, Cora. Go ahead.

You think he... Huh?

You think he... No! What the hell?

What the hell?

What? You almost made me wet myself.

You almost made me wet... Cora, I'll be right back. I've got to say that to him,

too.

Excuse me.

Don't know what you're doing in my classroom.

This is not your classroom.

This is my classroom. Because if it was your classroom, your name would be on

the front of... I gotta get my life together.

I can't keep living like this. Give me that. Ow!

What did you do last night?

It don't matter. You don't know her.

Well, actually, you did.

But I told Pam I wouldn't put her business out there like that.

You called Pam a music teacher?

Yeah, I saw her at the club last night with another dude.

I got so upset, I started drinking.

I should have called her husband.

And play what?

Hey, man, your wife is cheating on both of us.

Well, I can't say that.

You call him and say it.

No! You need to call on the man upstairs.

Now I got to get tested.

No, Donnie, I'm talking about the Lord.

Do you have a church home?

I ain't been to church since they started giving away those free crackers

juice. They do it every month.

When did they start doing that?

Since Jesus came back.

You got to get on that internet.

Don't ask. I'm having Bible study at my house tonight. Why don't you come by?

I'll think about it, Cora. All right. Well, you know, getting to know the Lord

can change your life.

And speaking of change,

he had this on yesterday.

Thanks for driving me to my checkup, Mrs. Brown.

Well, Bree, you heard that?

Simone said thank you.

Like she has manners.

She's also preggers, Sasha.

Pick one.

Oh,

sorry, Simone.

See Sasha manners.

I know your party is about to be off the chain. I got this barely there blouse.

It comes down in the front.

That I'm going to wear under a really conservative sweater.

Of course.

So what are you wearing to the party, Simone?

Oh, I'm not going.

When I told my mom I was pregnant, she said I couldn't go to any more parties.

Really? Oh, yeah. That's Simone saying how badly she wants to go to your party.

Donna said you can come.

For real?

Well, yeah.

And she said ignore the dirty looks. Her mom knows you're preggers and thinks

you're hoochie.

And she says hi.

I gotta go. I'll see you tonight.

Sorry about that, Simone.

It's okay.

People say I act like a dumb blonde, but I get in their face and I tell them,

hey, I am not blonde.

So are you going to come to the party? I don't think so.

Hey, Sasha, Renekid, Juno, I thought you were awesome today.

No, I am. I'm babysitting for my cousin, and I forgot something here that I

needed to pick up. Oh, what is it? Maybe we can help you. What does it look

like? What color is it?

It's brown, and it's all wrapped up. It's about this big.

It's on wheels.

Oh!

There it is.

Whew!

That was close.

Renee, you misplaced a baby.

Don't judge me.

So cute.

Is this what I have to look forward to? Oh, girl, please.

This is the cute good part.

No, all babies do is eat and crap and complain all day.

And then they wake you up in the middle of the night.

You know, actually, they're like a lot of men.

That's how I describe Will.

So don't go thinking it's a walk in the park.

Because it's not.

Oh, I gotta go see my stories.

Don't judge me.

Oh, Carla, something smells good. Don't even touch it. It's for the Bible study.

Carla, you can let me have one. No!

I said it's for the Bible study. You have to wait like everybody else.

Well, everybody else don't pay no electric bill around here.

Well, I paid it last month.

Well, Carla, nobody don't pay no property taxes.

It comes out of Willie Slash's wrist.

Well, let me have one of theirs then. No!

What you could do for me...

and straighten up for me before the guests arrive.

Okay.

Nobody put too much hot sauce on this.

What are you doing?

I thought you were going to straighten up.

What did you do?

excited about Bible study, I ran all the way over here. Let's go inside.

Stop it.

Let's go inside.

Come on.

Come on.

Hey.

Hey.

How you doing? What a surprise.

Well, you know what? I remember what you said about coming to Bible study and

changing my life.

So here I am.

Oh, okay.

Look, you're kind of early during that, but I'm sitting at the dining room

table, but you can help out. Okay. What do you want me to do? Just grab it.

What you want me to do, Corey?

Nothing, Mr. Burns. Okay.

I like even more.

Doberman has to make me pay him something.

Simone!

Simone, never mind.

You know, changing his life is going to be harder than I thought. He on that

stuff. No, he's not, Mr. Grant.

You think?

Yes, I know a crackhead, Cora.

wasn't at first, but then I kept thinking about all the fun I'd missed,

realized I don't have to let a baby stop me from living my life.

Simone, that's the spirit?

So I've decided I'm gonna give it up for adoption.

Darnell. Uncle.

Well, you about as cool as them hot wings, Cora May.

Would you just lead us in prayer? Okay, come on. Everybody get up and bow your

heads and pray.

You ready?

Okay. Everybody bow your heads.

Lord, we just thank you in advance for getting this boy off the stuff.

What? I don't know stuff.

You a liar. You on that stuff.

And help him with his line next, Lord.

Lord, we thank you for the deacon that's getting off this joy juice.

George, we're not going to call no names, but he's standing back over that

And Lord, we thank you in advance for Sister Betty to stop all of that

gossiping. Yes. Even though she was the one to tell me that Brother Johnson over

there had been drinking in his truck again after church eating donuts and

liquor. Lord, we thank you in your mighty Jesus name.

Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Yes. Amen.

I've seen you with your eyes open. You ain't slick.

We can share.

There you go.

We can share.

So what did we leave off last week? Oh, I know, because I've been reading this

Bible every day since last week. I think I done read it about ten times.

Get that from the first supper?

Okay.

We took it from Matthew 5 and 27.

And it was said, thou shalt not commit adultery.

Mine is broke. I ain't got Matthew in there.

Let me help you. You must not have been to church in a while.

No. I stopped going after my parents passed away.

Oh.

Well, you need to start going back.

Yes, you get up early in the Sunday mornings and put on your church clothes

them hard church shoes you got right there, and you go to church. You go to

church.

Man, the Lord don't need nobody like me up in there.

You're right, but we certainly need him down here. Amen, everybody? Amen.

Amen. We need him. All

right. Okay. All right. All

right. Whatever.

Y 'all ain't won yet.

All right.

Whichever team gets the next question right wins it all. We about to crush y

'all spirits.

That's what we about to do.

In a Christian way. I'm afraid to be Christian.

Okay. You have to tell me where this scripture can be found. All right?

For I know the plans I have for you, said the Lord, and the plans are for

and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Corrie, that's in the book of Job.

Come on, ladies. You don't know that.

That's hard when you ain't got... Don't even... I know that.

Don't they?

Jeremiah 29, 11.

That's right.

Yes!

I want my money. Put the money on the table.

Ain't no money, ignorant.

Your reward is in heaven.

I guess I ain't gonna never get it.

Okay, I'll tell you what. Everybody tonight is a winner.

You just won a free trip to... We know.

Out of here.

That's right.

Get out. And thank you. Good night.

Thanks, everybody. We'll see you next week.

Do a weave check.

You know, we ought to exchange numbers so that if, you know, either one of us

needs a ride to Bible study. Or to the free clinic. Hit the door, Sister Nasty.

Don't make me lay hands on you.

You should have laid the hands on a hot cone.

Bye. Mr. Burnett, please.

That ain't me.

Cora, I got to be honest.

I never thought Bible study could be so much fun.

to get your feet off my table. What's wrong with you?

Don't put your feet on my table.

Would you come by any time?

I just might do that.

All right.

Hey, wait a minute.

How'd you know that Bible verse?

You know, it's a funny thing.

My mother always used to say that scripture to me before I went to bed at

Really? Always made me feel safe.

Cora, he a lie.

That's in the pimps and players handbook.

Say a scripture, get the draws.

Cora, I know what, I know exactly what he talking about.

Speaking of safe,

I'm going to go out the back.

Thanks for the prayers and the pretzels.

Ain't no pretzels.

You know what, Pearl? I'm going to watch him.

Because a crackhead will steal a ceiling fan right off the ceiling while it's

still going. I cannot believe you

did that.

Look, it was past your curfew, so I had to go in the party to get you.

Oh, not that.

Well, then what's your problem, Brianna?

A Soul Train line.

Really?

Simone, was it that bad?

I was too busy thinking about that ice cream I saw in your freezer.

Yeah, ice cream.

I'll get the spoon. Come on, come on.

This ice cream is too good. You weren't going to eat this, were you?

And what's up with the TV?

How come y 'all don't have a real TV? You are a nurse. He is a doctor. Y 'all

can't afford to get a real TV.

I do too, Renee.

What are you doing here, Renee?

Because you caught me, Sasha.

Oh, you drunk dialed me.

I hate when I drunk dial.

Which is why I never do it.

But we'll be in the kitchen eating pie.

With no ice cream.

No, you won't.

Sit your little fast butt down.

Let me holler at you. Sit down.

So, um, Sasha tells me you're thinking about giving your baby up for adoption.

Yeah. You scared, huh?

Is that obvious?

I was a little older than you when I got pregnant.

I was still in school.

Me and my dad weren't speaking.

And I had a big decision.

You decided to keep it?

No, I didn't know. I wasn't sure.

But when my baby started growing inside of me, I knew that we were going to be

connected for life.

I'm just a kid. I don't know anything about raising a child, crying late

never knowing whether I'm doing the right thing.

You said it's a lot of hard work. Yeah, it is. It's a lot of hard work, but it's

also... One of the most beautiful things you'll ever experience.

Hearing your baby crying.

That means his lungs are getting strong so he can talk and he can tell you his

dreams.

Are you just making this up? No.

I'm being serious.

And then his dreams become your dreams.

What about those late nights?

That's when you bond with your baby.

And then he'll know that you'll always be there for him.

And when you look at your baby face and you see that he just loves you

unconditionally and all you want to do is just give that love back.

Wow.

What about those diapers?

Okay, yeah, that stinks.

And you want to hold your breath so the smell doesn't get in your throat.

So, this is really a gift?

Yeah.

It's really a gift.

And it's up to you to decide if you want to keep it or if you want to give it

away to someone.

But you just said I should keep it. No, I did not tell you. Yes, you did.

Hey, hey, hey, watch your mouth.

You kids don't listen.

What I'm trying to say is that whatever decision you make, you make it from

love.

Okay?

Okay.

What's up, Carl?

Hey, Darned.

You know what?

I want to thank you and Bible Study for today.

I had a good time.

I'm glad.

You know, Bible Study is just not for saved people, but the unsaved as well.

Well, last night I felt like one of the saved. All right.

Just remember, the Lord is not looking for perfection, but progress.

I'll keep that in mind. All right. Okay.

There you go.

Let me explain.

Let me explain. Too late to explain.

I got some beating to do.

Okay, you wouldn't hit a woman, would you?

Don't be pushing on me, man.

You better get out of here before I call security. I'm going to get out of here.

I'm going to take a piece of him with me. The piece my wife Pam likes so much.

You don't know what man up.

Okay.

Listen, I'm not mistaken.

I believe your wife like this shirt. So how about if I give her this shirt and

we call it even, okay?

So before I kill you, do you have any last words?

Yes!

The Lord is my shepherd.

I shall not fight.

Ma,

rip your leg off and beat you in the head with it and give you a headache and

shin split. Come on.

Get him, Mr. Brown.

That's my daddy.

That's my daddy.

He ain't your daddy. Get out.

You little weak. You better get out of here. And you need to man up.

trivia, buddy.

What? Get out of the way. You might wet yourself again.

Oh, excuse me.

Welcome to the bathroom.

I think he's still out there. Ain't nobody still out there. He is. Yes, he