Original subtitles

Hey,

boy, what you doing?

Hey,

Cora. Yes?

Can you do us a favor?

Sure, what you need?

Can you turn the volume up?

What? happened to the remote?

It's all the way over there.

One of you guys just picked the remote up. Cara, all of that yapping you're

doing, you could have done got the remote by now. Just get the remote.

Cara, you almost hit my screen.

I'm so sorry, Mr. Brown. I was aiming for your head.

All right, guys. Okay, here you go. Oh, good. Thank you. Are your hands clean?

Oh, now you're right.

Hold on, let me get... That's how you drive.

Okay, do you two know how nasty it is to wipe your hands on your own shirt?

Okay.

Cora, are you ready?

Yes, I'm ready. Just let me get my purse, and we can go.

Where y 'all going?

We're going to the cleaners and then to the post office.

Mm -hmm, then I gotta get your shoes out of the repair shop, run to the bank,

and then go to the hospital.

Oh, why, yeah, stop by the bakery and get me some donuts.

I want them eclairs.

Get me some eclairs. I like them.

Mr. Brown, you need donuts like you need suntan and lotion.

Don't make me take you over my knee and spank you.

Oh, why, yeah, can you stop by the thrift store and pick up my albino ant

boots?

You know, Miss Brown, we are not your maids, you know.

Oh, you know what?

Honey, I'm sorry.

We have been very insensitive.

Yes, we were.

Oh,

no problem. All that stuff we asked you to do today.

Oh. You can do that tomorrow.

Top and dip them in clara donuts.

Beat the Smiths. Goodbye.

There's so much jelly on the inside.

Yes.

It's good.

And jimmies and sprinkles.

Now, nephew, I thank your dad. Boom!

What the what?

What? I'm trying to bust in the head with your daddy.

Who ate the last of my prunes? I told them, stay out of my prunes.

I hope they go through them.

And also, get me some cheese for my lunch. Yeah, and this time, get me some

cheese, because that imitation stuff be tearing my stomach up.

Get real cheese.

Note to self at lunchtime, avoid the brown bomber.

Hey, Derek. What's up? What are you doing?

Oh, I'm going shopping for Mr. B.

Why is Derek doing the grocery shopping?

Well, since he eat here more than we do, he just agreed to go ahead and do our

shopping for us. I never agreed.

If you want to keep eating here, you will.

All right.

So I got a pair of slippers.

Yes. Cheese. Real cheese.

Popsicles. Red.

Curl activator.

You didn't hear the pastor when he was preaching.

He said, speak those things that are not as though they already are.

And I'm speaking hair into my life. That's what's wrong with you. You don't

no faith. You have got to believe that if you want to be activated, you must

apply activator.

That is what the spirit is telling me.

Activate your hair.

Activate your hair. I don't know why he's paying you. The store delivers for

free.

See,

there you go. Cutting out the middleman.

I wonder our economy is so screwed up.

It's cool. I won't tell if you put some cherry lip gloss on that list.

Or I can tell Will and Sasha I saw you at Club Temptation last night.

You didn't see me. I was in bed.

Uh, no. You was in VIP Pop, Lock, and Drop. Shut up!

Don't you have to be 21 to get in that place?

That's right, you do.

Okay, so it's gonna be me. Case closed.

All right. Well, then you didn't see that guy last night who failed trying to

the funky chicken.

What guy are you talking about? It was a girl. She looked stupid.

Busted.

How'd you get in that club anyway?

I parachuted myself in. What do you think?

You got a fake ID.

Let me see it.

Give me that.

I'll give it back to you when you're 21.

No, your father is that big dude who's gonna break my neck if he knows that I

knew about this.

Get down from there, you little chimpanzee.

If I see you in the club again, I'm telling on your underage butt.

Stay out the club a little bit.

Stay at our house.

That's okay.

I can get another car to be Rihanna in two days.

Hello? Hey, Gary.

Yeah, I remember from the club last night.

I would love to get together.

Hey, what's up, cuz? Baby.

Um, what's for dinner?

Sorry. Did you just ask me about my day?

No.

Well, it was long and exhausting.

Your shoes weren't ready. The bank had a long line. Then when I went to the

hospital, there were two nurses out sick. One of the departments failed

audit, and I caught Renee flirting with a coma patient.

Thank you for asking.

Does this mean you're upset?

So where's dinner?

Can't you feed yourself?

Cora, we slagged over a hot microwave for a minute and 30 seconds, Cora.

all.

Mr. Brown, what did you make?

A hot mess. Look at my microwave.

Just nasty.

That is ridiculous.

Will did that.

Honey, can y 'all help us clean it up?

No, we can't help you clean it up. We have jobs.

you that long to clean up them dishes. That ain't but three, four, five, it

ain't but 20 dishes and you'll have it done by time to cook dinner.

Where's the roast I asked you to get from the store? Yes, where's the roast?

I sent Derek to the store.

And why didn't he get it?

Yeah, why did he get it? Well, I told him to get the slippers and get me the

hair stuff in it.

Dog, I forgot to tell that boy to get the roast.

I don't believe you two. Yeah, I don't believe you.

All right.

Listen, we are two strong, independent men who can take care of themselves.

You're right. Really?

That takes a load off.

Brianna, let's go.

I want you to go to the store.

That's how men do it.

Brianna went to the movies with a friend of hers, Will.

We didn't adopt the kids so they could run errands for us.

That's why I had Corbin.

Eric, she's my doctor. She's my nurse.

She's my remote control. She can turn a TV better than anybody.

Cora is my rock.

I'm going to hit you with a rock.

Sasha, come on. I guess that means we have to go get it. No, no, no. Y 'all

don't go. What now, Mr. Brown? What now?

Cora, can you make me a snack before you leave?

No.

No, I am tired of Cora and I doing all the work around here.

Yeah.

Stop making me tired. I ain't got all thirsty and everything.

Get me a soda.

Get me a soda, please.

Cora ain't getting you nothing.

Okay, well, you need to check your woman.

That's the first thing.

See who wearing the drawers in the house. Look here, woman. You know what?

this. From now on, Cora and I are on strike. Yeah, strike, strike.

Oh, this mean y 'all gonna start hitting on us. Y 'all ain't got to be a

bruiser.

No, no. No, that doesn't mean nothing. That means me and Sasha aren't doing

any... more work around here until we appreciate it. Appreciate it.

And we're going to get dinner. Dinner for two.

Fine. Fine. Fine. Go ahead.

We don't need you because we can take care of ourselves.

No, don't say that. Yeah.

Thank you for that movie.

I had a really good time.

Yeah, me too.

But was it me or did that Harry Potter have a full mustache?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was his kids sitting next to us.

So is this where you live?

Um, no. I'm staying with my sister while my condo's remodeled.

Is she home?

Uh, no.

She's gone for the weekend.

Hmm. I think I'm starting to like her already.

Right. Okay!

Uh, you know, maybe you should go home.

Uh... Now. Are you serious?

It's not even 10.

Did you have a curfew?

No. Why would I have a curfew? I'm 21.

I thought you said you were 23.

Did I?

Oh, I am 23. I didn't mean to say 21.

People tell me I look so young all the time because I wear this moisturizer at

night.

Oh,

you okay?

Yeah, that was just really unexpected.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. It's kind of a habit of mine. I mean, making the first

move is kind of the hardest, so I just go for it.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Go for it.

And you know, speaking of going for it, would you like to finish this inside?

Oh.

You okay, Brianna?

Yeah, of course I am.

Maybe we should just say goodnight.

Thanks, Barry. What's the hurry?

I thought I heard voices out here. What you doing out here?

Girl, what you about to go do a rap video?

How you doing, sir? I'm Gary. And I'm Leroy.

Leroy S. Brown.

And the S is for don't mess with my niece or you might get stabbed.

You understand what I'm saying?

Uh, okay.

Okay, what? See, you disrespectful already. You gonna come up in my house

Yes, what?

Uh... What?

Okay, sir.

That's what I thought.

I'm about to tell you if you know how he a thug or not. Watch this.

Yo. What up, dog?

What up, dog?

What up, dog?

Hey, you know where I can find some of that weed or something like that?

Like some crack or something like that?

No, sir. I'm not that kind of guy.

Okay, I'm just checking. He might be all right.

What you doing out here this late? It's a school night.

Your mom and them know you. They left me here by myself. I'm not going to let

nothing happen to you. You better come bust these thugs.

It was nice meeting you, Mr. Brown. Put your hand up. Come on. Bring it on up in

here.

Oh, this is so sad.

How you don't know your own twins?

Don't you also play the twins?

Oh, I got to stop watching this daytime TV. It's just too much.

All right, Unc.

I took care of dinner, and the girls thought we couldn't do it. Look at this

place.

Nephew, what is wrong with daytime TV? Why does everybody have a twin and they

suffer from amnesia?

That's amnesia.

Ain't amnesia one of Renee's kids?

No, that's like Talisha or Lakeisha or Janisha.

Well, who is amnesia?

I forgot.

and stuff there. I don't care what nobody say.

We are one of a kind. Yeah, we two of a kind.

I thought you were supposed to clean up the table.

That ought to get it right there.

You call that clean?

I see Cora do something.

What she'll do is she'll put a highlight piece on it.

Bam! Look at that damn highlight.

That's highlighted there. Now, that's better. I know it. I know it.

Just relax. Kick your feet up there, Unc.

I... Nephew, I can't reach you.

I can't... Well, anyway, nephew, don't try to renege on the deal. You were

supposed to be folding up the clothes. I done did my part.

Oh. That's it. You trying to shoot me the okey -doke.

All right.

Look, this is the last thing.

All we got to do...

Let's fold up these clothes, and we're done.

What the what?

Nephew, these aren't my clothes. These are pink.

Uncle Brown, you're not supposed to put the colors with the whites?

Nephew, don't be racist.

I taught you better than that.

All right, well, let's just get rid of them. Put them away. Put it up

Just put some of them in there.

Nobody's going to know. Mr. Coucher, look.

They're just sliding down.

Ain't nobody going to even know how it's sitting in front of me. It just looks

like it's tilted.

What's that smell?

I told Derek to get me that real cheese. Down my stomach and just told him, you

smell that?

No, not you this time.

Something's burning. Something's burning.

be good.

Oh, nephew.

It's a matching set, though.

No, Simone, he's not here yet.

What do you mean, what are we gonna do? What aren't we gonna do?

Oh, wait, that's him.

I'll call you back. Okay.

Hey. Hey. Oh, you look nice.

Thank you. Come in.

So, uh, are we alone?

Yes, we are alone.

Well, I brought us a little something to drink and get the night started off.

Oh, great. Hey.

Uh, you know what? I'm... I don't drink.

Oh, you don't drink?

I don't drink that.

Oh, okay. You want me to go pick up something else?

No, it's fine. I already had some. Maybe later, though.

Well, did you, uh, did you miss me?

Uh, yes.

Did you miss me? I missed you, too.

Uh, ooh, it's getting hot in here, right?

It's about to get even hotter. Huh?

Whoa. Oh, man!

Rihanna? Derek?

Derek? Derek?

Marco?

Oh, me and Brianna were just hanging.

Wait a second. Are you guys together?

Ew! Oh!

She's 16.

Wait, what?

Yeah. Wait, you're 16?

I'll be 17 in a year. Oh, crap. Watch out, watch out. Look, look, all we did,

just kissed, and I kissed her on the neck a little bit, and that was it, I

promise. Okay, slow down, okay? I believe you. Yeah, you do. What about

parents? Oh, they gonna kill you. Oh, come on. No, hey, you be quiet. Get

I'm not going to jail for you, okay? You told me you were 23.

And you believed her?

Cotton candy.

Man, we were in the club. It was dark. I couldn't tell what she was or who she

was. Look, I got to get out of here. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's a good idea. Go on.

Gary, wait.

What are you doing?

Mind your business.

Gary, it's too old for you.

You can't drink this, no way.

Please. It ain't nothing but a number.

Well, the cops don't agree.

Okay, if Gary had sex with you and Will and Sasha had found out about this, they

could press charges.

Well, we didn't have sex, and I wouldn't have said anything because I like him.

That's not the point.

You were not ready for adult relationships. How do you know?

Because you're immature.

This morning, you were playing hopscotch.

Oh, yeah, you're just mad because I beat you, aren't you?

That's not the point.

This is serious.

Okay, before you make a move like this, you have to be ready to be responsible

for the consequences.

But I like him.

You don't even know him a little bit.

And you're lucky that he was a nice guy. Anything could have happened.

Why does everyone treat me like a kid?

I am way more mature than people give me credit for.

What, and running around lying about your age, sneaking into clubs is a way

prove it?

That's mature.

When you put it like that, it just sounds... Maybe I should just call him

apologize. No, no, no, okay?

If he's smart, he won't answer a call from a girl who's still in high school.

All right, just do everyone a favor and just forget that you knew the guy.

Fine.

Look, you're like a little stepsister to me.

Okay? Yeah.

And I don't want to see you get hurt.

Why can't you just date guys your own age?

Guys my age are really immature.

Yeah, well, so are you.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. No, I'm not.

Yeah, he'll get over it.

Derek, are you going to tell Willem and Asha?

Tell them what?

I'm sorry, did you ask me how my day was?

What? We ruined dinner, the vacuum exploded, and we killed the cat.

We don't have a cat.

Well, what's this then?

What is this?

That's my church wig!

What? A church wig?

Now, what's for dinner?

Look, honey, I'm sorry I took you for granted, okay?

We went out and I got the roast.

And I guess you expect me to cook it for you.

No, I don't.

Because I'm taking you out to dinner.

Oh, really?

Yes.

I think you can go with Will.

Very funny, Mr. Brown. You know what? I really appreciate you all. Let me show

you my appreciation and my gratitude for everything that you've done.

I'm buying dessert. Dessert is on me tonight. All right.

Really? For everybody?

Yes, yes, for everybody.

I'm buying one dessert, and we'll just get four spoons.