Original subtitles

Morning, everybody.

Morning, Cora.

What's up, cousin?

Can I get you some coffee? Oh, sure. I have to have it on the go, though. I

to get to my class.

Oh, yeah? How's that going, by the way, Cora?

Well, half of them are writing great essays, Will, but the other half can't

spell essay.

Cora, that's easy. You mean them kids can't spell essay?

I need to come to... It's just essay.

Oh, Lord, I'm thirsty.

Cora, you know if you're going to be drinking all that coffee, you need to

the mint.

You don't want to get them kids halitosis.

Here, take one of these. I found these mints in the floor on there. You can use

them. They taste funny, though.

Mr. Brown, these are not mints. These are birth control.

I'm going to be pregnant?

Why do I look like pregnant? Just like that.

Baby, you can't leave this stuff laying around.

Well, those aren't mine.

Well, if they're not yours, then...

Cora. Oh, Cora.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

You talking to me? Yes.

Cora. What? You been doing love?

Mr. Brandt, I'm abstinent. You ain't abstinent if you standing right here.

Okay, so wait a minute. If... Baby, if they're not yours and they're not

then... Oh, they can't be Miss Daisy's. Because if she had a child, it'd be her

great, great, great, great... Great, great, great, great.

Great grandchild.

That baby would own all of us.

Well, maybe Miss Edna left them behind. Oh, no.

Edna's plumbing has been removed.

I might have rushed it out.

And maybe they're Brianna's. What? Shut up.

That's ridiculous.

Let me see those.

Oh, boy. Here you go.

They are Brianna's. Shut up!

You know what? I'm sick of she done got nasty just like her mama and Etna.

Stop being nasty.

I'm going to get me a T -shirt that says, stop being N -A -S -T.

Why?

Because you're nasty. That's why.

Well, she's only 15 years old. See? She running around here with her skirt all

up and wearing makeup and eating up all my cereal.

You need to whoop me just like I used to whoop Corbin. Tie her up. You've never

whooped me, Mr. Brown. You are a liar.

There ain't no cross this line and I'll tear you up, Cora.

Don't talk no more lies. You better make a rainbow on the floor.

Brianna Janae Ortiz, answer this phone.

I've been calling you three, four, too many times.

Answer this phone or I'm going to come find you.

Now, would you call you back?

Yes, I would.

Because I... And responsible, unlike this little hot mama we're raising.

Can you believe Breonna's having sex?

Well, we don't know for sure that she's having sex.

Okay, sometimes women take the pill to regulate their cycle.

Women? We're not talking about no woman.

We're talking about a little girl.

Okay, you stop screaming at me, okay? I am not Breonna.

Baby, you know what it is.

I mean...

Here we are, busting our butts to provide a good home for her, and she

and does this?

Damn it!

I'm furious!

Okay, you better calm down, man. Will, sit down.

I don't... Sit down!

All right, baby.

This is exactly the reason why I think that I should be the one to talk to her.

We don't need to talk about anything.

She's not taking the pill.

I mean, taking the pill, I believe, just leads to promiscuity.

And it encourages other unsafe behavior.

Baby, baby, the last thing we need to do is scare her.

We need to sit her down and tell her how we feel. I'm trying to tell you how we

feel.

You're not telling me how you feel. You're screaming at me, okay? Calm down.

Maybe she won't pick up the phone.

I mean, she could be... She could be having sex right now.

You know what?

I got an idea.

We should send her to a convent.

Treat them some nuts.

When she gets home, I'm gonna sit her down and tell her exactly what we

discussed.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good.

And you know what? I should be there, too. I should be there.

Baby, at the rate that you're going, You're going to have a stroke before the

child gets home.

Especially because if I'm dead, then there's going to be some little young

comforting her at my funeral.

Good morning. Good morning.

How may I help you?

Aren't you Cora Simmons?

Not if I owe you money.

You don't owe me any money, but there was that time when you borrowed my

letterman's jacket and it didn't give it back.

Gordon Boggs, is that you?

In the flesh. Oh, my goodness.

How are you?

I'm doing good. I'll tell you what, Cora Simmons, Beachwood High, class of 19...

Shut your mouth!

Oh,

you look great.

You haven't changed a bit.

Well, now, that would make me the oldest -looking student in our class.

But you are just as pretty as ever. Oh, well, thank you. Same old Gordon. You

always know how to charm the ladies.

So what brings you here?

Well, yours truly just interviewed for the principal's position.

Really? I didn't know you were in education.

Yeah. So last I heard, you were in the Navy.

Well, I had to get out. They wanted me to do some things that I just couldn't

bring myself to do.

Well, like what? Fighting?

Torturing? People just... Swimming.

I am terrified of water.

But let me take a look at you there, Miss Cora. Oh, look at you go. Oh,

Quiddick, stop it.

You got no reason to be embarrassed. You look absolutely exquisite.

Oh, exquisite. I haven't been called that since.

Shoot, I ain't never been called that.

My daddy tries to call me too, but he calls me split.

Yeah, so how's the dog, the kids, the wife?

Well, the kids are in college, and the wife, she left with the dog years ago.

God, I miss that dog.

Oh, no, no, I'm a widow. My husband died years ago.

Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. How did he die?

Broke.

Hey, Bocore, you always know how to make me laugh. You know, I know I was sweet

on you in high school.

Oh, well, thank you. You wasn't so bad yourself.

Hey, why don't we get together and have dinner? You know, catch up.

Oh, yes, I would love to have you for dinner.

I mean, have dinner with you.

Oh, but I'm free tomorrow evening.

Tomorrow evening? Uh -huh. Tomorrow evening, I've got a spinning class.

Maybe you can come with me. Then afterward, we can catch a bite. You

Oh, spinning?

Yes, sure. All the time. All the time.

Spinning is my favorite. The department store, the grocery store.

How about we go spin at the gym then?

Oh, okay, okay. They take plastic.

I'll meet you at the gym on Peachtree Street. Let's say around 6 .30.

Oh, couldn't keep me away if you tried.

I wouldn't try.

Cora, I am glad we bumped into one another.

Oh, yes, me too. Me too.

Cora Simmons.

See you later.

Hey,

Sasha, I'll be back by six.

Oh, no, you're not, because we need to talk.

Okay, what's up?

asked me that?

Because of these?

You've been going through my things?

Brianna, that's not the point.

What are you doing with these?

They're for just in case. Just in case of what, Brianna?

You're 15 years old. I'm almost 16.

I'm trying to be responsible.

Isn't that what you want? What I want is for you to be abstinent.

Who says I'm having sex?

Well, if you're not having sex, what are you doing with these?

They're just for protection.

I see girls dropping out of school all the time because they get pregnant.

I don't want to be like them.

You know what it's like?

I mean, you were in high school a long, long, long, long, long time ago.

Okay, Brianna, you know what? It wasn't that long ago.

Okay, and I have been exactly where you are.

Baby, I was one of the lucky ones. I was too scared to have sex.

Now, my girl Yvette, on the other hand, she did whatever she wanted with whoever

she wanted.

We both wanted to become nurses.

But by the time the rest of us had graduated, she'd had four abortions.

What happened to her?

Nothing.

She just became a statistic.

So then you get it.

I don't want to be like your friend, Yvette.

All right, Brianna, I guess I do understand.

But you gotta know that Will does not approve of you taking these pills.

Well, can you talk to him?

Please?

All right, Brianna, I'm going to talk to him.

All right, but he's going to want to talk to you, too.

All right.

We'll talk when I get back from the game.

Thanks, Sasha.

Hey, Will. Bye, Will.

Where are you going?

I'm just going to go meet my friends at the game.

Okay, so you two... Yeah, we talked.

Oh, yeah? Mm -hmm. And you're okay?

And you know we're just looking out for you, right?

Yeah, no, thanks.

Okay, well, enjoy the game.

All right.

Hey, wait.

Don't have too much fun.

Yeah, okay, I'll have an okay time.

Oh, wait, wait.

I got something for you.

You did? Yeah.

Okay. Wait, do you see this?

Bam!

Stop being nasty.

Courtesy of Uncle Brown.

You are. Keep it on.

Don't take it off.

You look great.

Oh, my God.

She took that pretty well.

I let her keep the pill, Will.

You what?

I thought we agreed.

Okay, Will, she brought up some good points.

She doesn't have a point.

She's a little girl trying to make adult decisions, and you know her.

She's going to take advantage of this. Will, you're going to have to be more

trusting.

Like I trusted you to take care of this?

No, but instead of standing by me, you took her side.

Will, this is not about taking sides.

You know just as well as I do that you can talk to that girl until you're blue

in the face, but she's still going to do what she wants to do.

Makes two of you.

You hate me.

What do you think you're doing coming in this late, Brianna?

I lost track of time. It's no big deal. No big deal?

You got school tomorrow. You were supposed to be here hours ago. Where

Brianna?

With some friends.

Okay, no, you're going to have to be more specific than that.

You could have been out there doing something that you're going to regret

the rest of your life.

Well, thanks to you, I'm on the pill, so...

You don't have to worry about taking in another stray.

Those pills don't give you an excuse to go out there and get buck wild.

You still have to be responsible.

Chill out!

Kasha, you're not my mother.

Oh, no, baby. I know I'm not your mother, but where the hell is she, huh?

And where is she gonna be when that first little boy breaks your heart?

Or when you turn up pregnant? Or when you come home with an STD or HIV, huh?

I want you to know that those little pills that you got are not going to

you against that.

And then you are going to be living the rest of your life with those regrets, no

matter who your mama is.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

Oh, no, Brianna, you said what you meant.

And now I went out on a limb for you, and now my husband is not talking to me

for you to treat me like this?

But shut it!

Now, I'm going to tell you this once and one time only.

You don't have to like my decisions. You don't even have to like me.

But you are going to respect the rules of this house.

And if you don't like that, you can just march your little stuff on out there

and go find your mama.

I'm coming.

You all right, Cora?

I don't know about all right.

Why would you say that?

Well,

first off, you fell off the bike.

I'll be honest with you. I've never seen anybody pop a wheelie on a stationary

bike before.

That's me always trying something new.

Please, just put it in my hand.

Can you open that for me?

Thank you so much.

All right.

You know, now, the last time I was at your house, Madea chased me away with a

shotgun.

Well, I don't live with my mother anymore. I'm a mature, responsible woman

But of course. Right. Now I live with my daddy.

Isn't this where that weird Brown family used to live?

Remember, it was a crazy bald -headed guy. He always dressed like a rummage

and sounded like Mike Tyson.

Cover them game shows.

They get on my nerves.

That's my dad.

So, Brown and Madea?

Yep.

That's exactly what I think about it. Every time I think about that...

down the street in the greenhouse.

Oh, I'm surprised you still recognize Cora after all these years.

Yeah, things have changed on her.

I must say, you haven't changed a bit. I got to tell you, Mr. Brown, you look

like you might be wearing the same clothes you wore last time I saw you.

Well, you know, good polyester never goes out of stock.

Yeah, well, really it does.

No, it don't.

Now, Gordy, you say Gordy?

Gordon. Yeah. Gordon.

What's your mama name?

Miss Regina.

You're Regina's boy?

Yes, sir. Look at you.

Corbin, this the one. He used to pee in the bed till he was 12 years old.

I was 11.

That's why mama say he wet the bed so much he had to sleep with a life jacket

on.

And on top of that, his mama was nasty.

Nasty, Corbin.

think that's funny but we used to call you brown the amazing clown we used to

call you the polyester prince the human crayon cover

you're gonna sit here and laugh at him let him dish your daddy like that

What would you like in your coffee?

You said I'm too young to drink coffee.

Oh, yeah, I know, but... I said you were too young to take the pill, but you

didn't have a problem with that.

All right, come on, another lecture?

No, Brianna, it's not.

Okay, Will and I sat down to discuss things, and we decided that if you're

sexually active... I told you guys I'm not having sex! Good, then you don't

to be taking the pill, right?

I was just trying to be responsible.

You know what, Brianna?

We respect that.

Okay, baby, you remember you told me that you wanted us to trust you.

Okay, well, here's an opportunity to prove to us that we can.

We're taking the pills from you, sweetheart.

But listen, we're going to hold on to them.

And when you're ready to talk about sex, you bring it to us and we'll talk about

it as a family.

Okay?

Oh, you got this one, baby.

Uh, okay.

Careful, Mr. Brown. This is... Oh!

You didn't have to bring me to school, Mr. Brown. Now, of course, what was

embarrassing is sitting there watching you try to put that girdle on for two

hours.

The little kid in the bed is in my room, no way. Well, you had dope.

Well, it was cracked a little bit.

You what happened?

Thank you so much for your help, but you can leave now.

You ain't got to instruct me to do nothing.

You going to trade me for him?

You going to leave me for him?

But just remember, if he falls asleep, you better have a mop somewhere handy.

Be rooted.

I'll get you to eat some right now.

I knew I wasn't ready for a spinning class. I don't know what possessed me.

Of course.

You didn't have to tell me you were into spinning just for us to spend time

together. We could have done something that you wanted to do. Well, you want to

try it again?

Well, yeah, but first there's something I think I need to tell you.

Oh, Lord, here we go.

Don't tell me you still peeing in the bed.

I haven't peed in the bed since I was 13 years old. Now, wait. Now, you told me

11.

Whatever.

spending a little more time together at, uh, co -working.

Oh, you got the job?

I got the job.

Oh! Oh!

Congratulations!

Well, this calls for a celebration.

And I know just how we should celebrate.

Oh, okay, okay. What's that?

Well, there's this kickboxing class.

I'm gonna kick you.

I told you, it's always easier the second time around. You're right. I

believe how good I feel.

Don't you agree, Mr. Brown?

I can't

stop.

Why do you let him do this to your daddy?

I'm going to slap both of y 'all.