Original subtitles

Yes, I need two extra staplers, a bulletin board, markers, and

Yes. You know what? I just heard the funniest joke. It was this little boy

talking to the Lord. And then the Lord said, he said, Lord, to you, how long is

a million years?

And the Lord said, about a second.

I know. I'm trying to tell you the joke faster. And then he said, Lord, to you,

how much is a million dollars? Then the Lord said, about a cent.

I need the erasable ones here. Okay. Well, Cora, and then the little boy

he gonna be slick. He try and talk to the Lord. He say... Oh, excuse me. Hold

on. I'm sorry.

Somebody's being rude.

Well, that's right, Cora. I'm trying to tell you something. So tell the person

on the other line I'm talking.

Well,

I'll call you back when it's quiet.

Well, anyway, Cora, then the little boy thought he'd be slick. Cora, don't run.

The little boy say, I'm gonna be slick. So he say, well, you know what, Lord?

Can I have a penny? And the Lord said, yeah. And by the second, ah, the Lord

juked, don't he, Kyra?

Yes, he got juked. I see that.

What that supposed to mean? He made you, didn't he?

Oh, Kyra, that's cold. You ain't got to talk to your daddy like that. All right,

come on, baby.

We got to roll or we're going to be late.

All right, we got to be there by 730.

Sasha, come on, babe.

Oh, I am coming, Will.

Honey, you have to understand that looking this good takes a lot of hard

know. I do it all the time.

You look pretty, as usual.

Oh, thank you.

You're so sweet.

I wonder what's taking Anthony and Renee so long. They should have been here.

Ah, yeah, well, you know Renee.

She's probably having issues with her sitter again.

She told me last time when she got home, the sitter was hiding a man in the

closet.

I thought her mother watched her kids.

She does.

Oh, this must be the dysfunctional couple now.

What's up, Bobby? What up?

What's up?

Will, Sasha, I want you to meet Bobby.

That's with an I -E, not a Y.

And hi, I'm Renee.

I meant Sasha.

Girl, don't worry. I forget my name all of the time. Especially when I'm around

a lot of bright lights.

Okay.

Hey, wait. I met Bobby at the gym.

You know, she's working out, trying to get in her swimsuit. I said, baby, so am

I. Oh, I bet he says that to all of the girls. Oh, I'll bet he does.

I do. I do.

We better get going. So where are we going again?

I'm going to see Chicago.

Chicago? But I didn't pack anything.

Baby, you won't need no clothes.

Okay.

Poor thing.

Just come on.

The best show ever. It was hot.

It reminded me of the last time I was on stage.

Oh, yeah?

When was that? Third day. I was the featured dancer at the Twisty Tales.

mother must be so proud.

That's what she told me when she got off stage.

Good Lord.

Uh, who wants coffee?

Oh, that's my stage name.

I'll have some coffee.

Oh, uh, make mine hot chocolate.

I'll have some water.

Sasha, will you keep your coffee?

Oh, you know what, Anthony? Why don't I give that for you, huh?

Wow!

I'm sorry, did I almost hit you?

Well, it's not like you deserve it.

I have two kinds, regular and decaf.

Or you could do what you usually do and take them both.

Don't be like that, Sasha.

Sweetheart?

Can I talk to you for a minute? I'll be back. Oh, sure, dear.

Let's talk.

Okay. Go chop it up and talk.

We'll be right back.

What are you doing?

What do you mean, what am I doing?

Well, why aren't you doing something?

About what?

Duh, he is cheating on Renee. We don't know that, okay? They could just be

friends.

See? Oh.

Okay.

Very close friends.

Will, I don't believe you.

What? I mean, what do you expect me to do? Send him home? Yes.

Come on now. Hey, I'm not getting in anybody's business.

Will, he put us in his business when he brought Twisty Tail up in here.

Look, if you don't tell them to leave, I will.

Okay. That's how you want to do it. Okay, fine.

Hello?

Oh, hey, Renee.

What am I doing?

That's very interesting, because I will tell you what I'm doing.

Oh, yes, I will.

Yeah, I was just... I was just about to go to bed.

Alone.

Give me some of that poppy.

He only got his neck broke messing with his kinfolk.

Eat that out the can.

Cora, ain't nobody eating nothing out that nasty can. You know, Edna's butt

sitting right there. Ain't nobody want to eat nothing. I'm trying to watch this

movie. Oh, what you watching, Cora?

It's a lobster.

Oh, Cora, I like lobster. You know, I like the ones when they be watching that

kung fu.

When they be doing all that. When they blowing up stuff. Them the kinds I like.

You know, it didn't matter what size that Luther Vandross was. He could sing

anything. Mr. Brown, I told you I was trying to watch this movie. You're going

to make me miss the best part.

Oh, Cora, don't worry about it. Look, I'm going to tell you what happened.

everybody's going to get killed except that big head girl right there. See,

she did was she took some of that hair gel off of her baby hair right there.

she put on a handcuff, slipped out. That's the end of the movie. I don't

want to watch what you're going to do. You're going to make me miss the best

part. Come away, man. You ruined it. Well, let's talk then. We need to talk.

Cora, how you been?

I'm fine.

Oh, do they still make spam?

You know, I was thinking to myself... Mr. Brown, can you stop talking?

Why? If I do that, then that's going to make our conversation a little... One

side. You can't do it to me. Can't do what? Stop talking.

If your life depended on it, you couldn't do it.

See?

Boom. Easiest cake. Oh, that was just a few seconds.

You didn't say how long.

You got to be more pacific. It's pacific.

Whatever it is, Cory, whatever. Mr. Brent, I bet you can't be quiet for 24

hours. You know what? I'll do you one better.

I'm going to be quiet the whole day.

What? Yes, sir, prove it. If you can't, you're going to clean that garage up

that you promised to do two years ago.

I'll have you to know I'm pacing myself on that garage.

You know what?

You won't.

Okay. But if you say anything between now and this time tomorrow, you lose.

Start now.

Deal? Dear.

Oh!

Well, Corbin, no, no, wait. Let's hold on.

Let's do it over. Okay, you ready? We're going to do it over. Let's start it

over. Okay, start now. Okay, wait. Before I get there, let me get something

my heart that's really been heavy on my chest for years, but now since I can see

it. What? Corbin, your mama, I can't stand her.

Except, Corbin, the only good thing that come out of her was you, Corbin. She

make me sick. She nasty. She trashy. She smoke. And I can't stand.

Mr. Brown.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Okay, now let's start.

Let's go now. None of that counting, but now start. Okay, all right.

Mr. Brown, would you like some cake?

Oh,

this is going to be great.

Even if it's only for two minutes.

No, for real, it's okay. I'm telling you, you had to work. It happened.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

You know, all that dancing is distracting.

Now go to the bathroom. Then I'll call to the right.

Go.

Uh, Renee.

Did I get a call from a Dr.

Vasquez?

Yep, I think so.

So why didn't you give me the message?

You know what? I'm not going to even lie, Will.

I had to help the fire department put out this huge fire. up in the forest.

But I'm okay. I'm fine.

I just got a little smoke inhalation.

I'm fine. I'll be right back.

Thank you.

Hey, Sasha.

Oh, hey, Renee.

Oh, how was the play last night?

Oh, it was just okay.

Just okay? Oh, good thing that Anthony had to work and we couldn't make it

Is that what he told you?

But it's okay, because I had drama with my babysitter. I think she stole $20 out

of my purse.

Wait a minute.

Isn't your mother your... Never mind.

I need to talk to you.

And now.

Okay,

listen. I can't do this anymore, okay? I have to tell her.

No, you don't, all right? This is between Renee and Anthony. Oh, and don't

forget Twisty, Bridget. Her name is Twisty.

I mean, Bobby.

Um, it doesn't matter. Now, listen, just stay out of it, okay? It always

backfires. Okay, Will, fine.

All right, look, I just feel sorry for poor Renee. She's really into that man.

Nay, nay.

Oh, yeah?

Exactly which man is that?

So, Renee, who's your friend?

Oh, Will, Sasha.

This is Paul.

It's so nice to meet you, Paul.

The pleasure's all mine. How's it going?

You tell me.

It's all good. Now that I see my Nene again.

Call me that in front of company.

Oh, Nene, that's so cute.

It's unprofessional.

Anyway, how long have you two known each other?

Practically all our lives.

We lost touch for a little while, but I'll never let that happen again.

You might not want to do that. You might get in trouble.

Get in trouble by who?

I don't know. You never know who might walk in here and see you like this.

You killed somebody and they didn't fire you.

I'm good.

Come on. I'll show you where we keep the bodies.

I didn't kill him.

Will, would you calm down?

What do you mean calm down?

Don't you see what's happening?

She's cheating on my boy. And how would you know that?

Maybe they're just friends.

You're using my own line against me.

Either way, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Who says that?

Beaking a goose, get a gander which is flapped in.

Oh, no. Anthony, what are we going to do?

Oh, I don't know. I was thinking a good seat.

Maybe some popcorn.

How can you be so cavalier about this?

And who says that?

Hey, what's up, man?

What's up, man?

Hey.

What you doing here? I came to surprise my girl. Oh, yeah? And a surprise it's

going to be.

You know where she is?

Yes, she's right over here. Okay. She's over here. You know what? What's wrong,

man? I think she went to the maternity ward. It's all the way on the other side

of the hospital. Oh, yeah, yeah. She loves babies. You know, more babies,

chance.

We should probably go find her. Okay, okay.

It's this way.

Like, right away.

This way? Right there. It doesn't see you.

to see for myself.

You gonna eat that? Ow!

Well, I could take a hit.

Hell, my sculpture's on anyway.

What?

Well, you got something to say?

Obviously, you don't have to be like that, Mr. Brown. Oh, that's a rat!

Oh!

Oh! Oh, no, that's just some sock. I'm sorry, Mr. Brown. Here, here, here's

sandwich.

Oh!

My bad, I'm sorry.

I will make you another one, but...

We don't have any more bread.

I guess that's what that mouse was after.

What?

That ain't me.

No, it's not. That's not me.

That rat must have been lactose intolerant.

Ain't nobody doing that.

That's you, Joe Nasty.

Cool!

That was two weeks.

It felt like a month.

After that, I said to myself, I'm not going to commit again unless it's

absolutely necessary.

All right. Does Renee know how you feel?

Not until it's absolutely necessary.

Hey.

Hey. Do you have any steak sauce?

Uh, I think we do. Come on, man. You got to have steak sauce.

After all, what is a hamburger?

Hold that there. I got you.

Hey, Uncle Brown.

We got anything to talk?

Okay, I'll check myself.

Hey, babe.

Hey, babe. Hey, Uncle Brown. How you doing?

And what's his problem?

I stopped trying to figure that out a long time ago.

Hey, Renee, Paul. Renee, Paul.

Renee?

Anthony?

Bobby!

Sasha!

Okay,

now that we've taken attendance, who the hell is this?

Hey, I'm Bobby. That's with an I -E, not a Y.

Hi, I'm Renee, with two strikes and a twitch plate.

Uh, you might not want to do that.

What's going on here? Let her go, Will.

I'll go check on the hamburgers.

I still don't get why they don't call them steak burgers.

Poor thing.

Paul, would you please be a dear and help her out?

No problem.

You smell that cheap cologne?

You messing around on me with Mr. Spicy?

What's going on, Renee?

Oh, what's going on with you?

I mean... There's only one way to explain it.

Yeah. Paul is my cousin.

Like I said, there's only one way to explain it.

You're the only one that's cheating around here. And Sasha, you knew about

No. No, no, no. You see, I wanted to tell you, but Will made me promise not

And so, you know, when you showed up with Paul and - You knew about this?

I can't exactly say that I knew. Oh, he knew.

I thought we were boys, man. We are boys.

Come on. Yes, Sasha, and I thought we were better than that.

And you, how you gonna play me like that?

The same way you trying to play me, and I took your kids to Six Flags.

So? I paid for it.

Look, Renee, nothing happened. The only reason I went out with Bobby was because

we didn't define our relationship.

Well, you never asked me to.

You want to?

I don't know.

You want to?

Want to go somewhere, have some drinks, and talk about those two?

No. I want to go somewhere and have some Anthony and forget about those two.

Well, we could go to my place.

My place is closer.

My backseat is even closer.

You got that speaker wire?

In my purse. Girl!

I love you! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! Renee, where y 'all going? Hey, y 'all

about...

Do you think he's deaf?

banshees too

And girls are supposed to have each other's back. Yes, we do.

That's right.

And girls are supposed to be 100 % honest with each other. Yes, we are.

right.

So is Paul really okay?

80 % honest with each other.