Original subtitles

One, two, and two, and three, and four, and squeeze, squeeze, make your booty

tight, tighten your booty, squeeze. One, two,

three, kick up, and kick.

What are you doing?

I'm bringing sexy back.

You look like the one who killed it in the first place.

Edna, why you got to be like that?

Why you just got to ruin it for me?

think you sexy i thought i'd never hear that yes you're the sexiest

pit bull i ever seen okay

wait

wait wait what what is wrong with you where you two coming from brianna needed

new shoes and i hate them i wanted those designer shoes brianna we've already

talked about this those shoes were too expensive

But everybody's wearing them.

Girl, why you got to try to wear something everybody else is wearing?

You need to be original.

You got to start your own thing. Look at me. I'm starting stuff.

Start some balls. Brianna, those shoes you bought me are whack.

Well, everybody doesn't have shoes, little missy. That's right, little

There are some people out there that don't even have feet to wear on their

shoes. You got... Shoes on your feet and clothes in your back.

But these shoes right here, these shoes are real whack.

Fine. Can I at least borrow $20 so I can meet my friends for some lunch?

No, Brianna, you can't have $20.

Please, my friends are gonna think I'm broke.

Excuse me. Okay, I... Excuse me. You have a job?

No. No job?

Plus no money equals broke.

Zero. You broke.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to fix you a

tuna fish sandwich and some chips, and all Sasha got to do is just give me $15.

Oh, Lord.

Hey, Cor. Hey, Mr. Marks. Yep.

Ain't got another back to back to back to back episode on.

attitude. Must be that time of year.

Mr. Grant, I'm just trying to finish this work before Shirley gets here.

Who is Shirley? One of your homegirls? What y 'all going out to do? Hang and

chilling? No, Mr. Grant. She's coming to help me with the essay papers.

Cora? You want essay?

Cora, no.

I told you to leave them essays alone.

You busy?

We still going to the car show?

Yes, Mr. Brown. Okay, well, that's good. Go ahead and keep on working. If you

let me finish my work. Okay, I'm going to let you finish. You know what I want

to see when we go to the car show? What?

I want to see one of them new hybrids.

The cars.

It's a hybrid, Mr. Brown.

Oh, you got such a nasty attitude.

Oh, I can't deal with you.

Mr. Brown, can you get the door for me?

That must be Shirley.

Ooh, let me hurry up and get it, because you know you stuck -up teachers, y

'all. Y 'all get impotent.

Impatient, Mr. Brown.

Oh, you just treat me so bad.

Yeah.

Hello.

Hello back.

Ooh, this shit looks nice outside.

make it wow it sure look nice inside man mr brown this is my friend shirley and

this is my father mr brown the pleasure's all yours well i'm pleased to

your appliance too that's acquainted shirley shirley teaches gym at the

school well i'm sure i'm sure gym's a lucky man

That's Jim in class, Mr. Brown. Is something wrong with your voice?

Girl, you sure have explicit taste in clothes.

Well, not as explicit as you.

That's exquisite, you two.

Yes, it is, Cora. No, Mr. Brown. Okay, we're going to go on in the kitchen so

can start with the essay.

Okay, while I'm going on in the kitchen, grade these papers.

Why are you walking on the back of your shoes? I paid $18 for those shoes.

They're more comfortable that way.

But Brianna, you're going to ruin them that way.

Nuh -uh. Ugly is ugly. You can't ruin these shoes.

Leg bones.

Oh, Brianna, I see what you're doing.

You think that if you ruin these shoes, then I'm going to buy you the designer

ones, right?

What are you talking about? I'm wearing the stupid shoes like you wanted me to.

Yeah. Brianna, I want you to wear the shoes properly.

You bought them. Can't I wear them the way I want to wear them?

The clavicle.

Brianna, what I want is for you to do what I said.

You know, when I grow up, I'm gonna have arthritis because of these shoes.

Can I please go to the mall now?

Yes, please do while you can still breathe.

Why do girls that age have to be so difficult?

Uh, the, uh, hip bones.

Will!

Baby, those shoes are ugly.

For my grandmother.

Is that why you don't wear those shoes that I bought you?

And my foot bone is about to be connected to

your ass bone.

speciality. I freeze dried coconut myself.

Shut up!

I knew!

Why, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. This is

uncanny. Yep.

I like a canny, too.

Cory, your daddy's just full of condiments.

Oh, I want to introduce you to somebody, Shirley.

Shirley, this is our house mascot.

Bruno the Bulldog.

Hi.

I'm Shirley. Your name?

Edna. Hi, Edna. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

Mr. Brown, you want to take the dish in the kitchen?

Who, Shirley or the pie?

The pie, Mr. Brown. The pie.

Okay, I'll take your pumpkin.

All right, sweet pie.

Okay, pudding.

Okay, sweet tart.

Thank you, Cory, thank you, thank you.

You know, this is such a lovely minty antebellum home.

Ooh, what a lovely face.

Is this one of a kind?

Oh, we have two of them.

Oh, my God.

What is it? Oh, my goodness.

What is it?

Is the dining room table antique?

Oh, no, this ain't just old.

Oh, my goodness.

It must cost a fortune.

Just like I thought.

Ooh.

This house is just full of treasures.

Really? You think so? You know, Mr. Brown inherited... He inherited the

Huh? Yes, he did all the upgrades himself.

Oh, my goodness. Yes, ma 'am. Handsome man had it. You know, they don't make it

like that no more.

That's because they've all been recalled.

You had a smart mouth, and that you was... That's why he don't like

you.

Let's cut to the chase, sister.

What's your angle?

Excuse me? Oh, come on.

Don't tell me you got a thing for that little annoying little hobbit. Come on.

Edna! I'm sorry, Miss Shirley.

Miss Edna speaks her mind.

Well, Miss Edna...

It just so happens that me and Mr. Brown have lots in common.

We're like two peas in a pound.

Is that so?

Nice. That's so nice.

That's so disturbing.

Oh, Lord, look at the time.

Yes. Come on, we're going to be late for the car show.

Wait, car show? I thought we were going to the car show, Mr. Brown.

I just knew you was going because you wanted to applause me.

Shirley likes stuff hot, fast, and shiny.

She also likes them little, lumpy, and full of gas.

You keep going, I'm going to kick you out with you, your clothes, and your

mustache.

Come on, baby, let's go. I don't want to miss the self -insatiable tire. Okay.

What the?

Call the police, my dear. and done something else.

Sir, do you know this young lady?

I never seen her, never heard of her. Me no speak of the English.

Will, Sasha, get in here.

I hope you kept the receipt so you can take Brianna back like you took the

back.

Well, our work is done.

What's going on?

Are you Brianna's parents?

We're her legal guardian.

Rihanna, are you okay?

Ma 'am, this young lady and a few of her friends were caught stealing shoes from

a boutique at the mall.

Rihanna, is this true?

Yes, ma 'am.

Oh, my God.

Um, sir, we'd be glad to repay any losses, anything that was stolen. I'm

you said that because the store owner is expecting compensation.

How much were the shoes?

$1 ,296.

I'm sorry, what?

They were Ferrucci's made of ostrich with the cutest little pink bow on them.

You did say you'd pay for it. Don't buy the Ferrucci.

Thank you for bringing her home, officer.

Here's the store owner's card. He's expecting your call.

You folks have a nice day.

Thank you.

Brianna, you silly. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

I better get out of here before I turn from a witness for the Lord to a witness

of homicide.

I second that emotion.

Where do you think you're going? Sit down.

You know, you could be in jail right now.

I'm sorry.

Sorry isn't going to cut it, Brianna. And who are these little friends that

got caught with?

They're just some girls from school, but you heard him. They let us off with a

warning, so it's really no big deal.

Rihanna, stealing $1 ,200 shoes is a very big deal. But I really wanted them.

So you just decide you're gonna take them?

I tried to exchange the other ones, but that wasn't enough.

Exchange them? The shoes she bought for you were $18.

Like I said, they wouldn't let me exchange them.

You know what, Will? I am done.

All right? I can't do this anymore.

He's done. I'm done.

You ain't done. Sit back down.

Brianna, I don't understand.

We give you love, a home, a chance to be happy, and this is how you repay us?

This isn't about you guys. It is about us.

And as long as you're under our roof, you're our responsibility.

Technically. It's Mr. Brown's room. Don't get smart.

You know what?

You better be glad Sasha and I are from a different school because if you were

my mother's child, you'd be in some serious pain right now.

Let's go on upstairs.

You're grounded.

What's grounded?

Grounded is what you'd be if you were still behind bars with the policeman.

It doesn't matter if it's not fair as long as we decide.

Now go on upstairs to your room.

Now.

Faster.

I still see you.

Where do you think you're going now?

Anywhere but here.

All right. Close the door behind you. The air is on.

Fine, tell Sasha I said I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Cool.

You're just gonna let me go?

If you want to go, Brianna, go.

We're sick of trying to keep you someplace you don't want to be.

Who says I don't want to be here?

You. By the way you've been behaving.

I'm still not used to this.

Brianna, stop it.

I'm sick of your excuses, okay?

I come from a broken home.

Life's not fair.

You know what?

You're right. It's not.

You know what my mother made me do.

Your mother's not here to make you steal anymore.

You walked into that store all by yourself.

Now stop using your past as an excuse because I'm not going to stand for it

anymore. And neither is Sasha.

You know, you hurt her.

I wasn't trying to.

See, that's just it.

You don't try.

You haven't truly tried since you've been here.

Is she really feeling bad? What do you think?

She's been making sacrifices for you and your brother, and it's still not

enough.

I know, I know. I just messed up.

Yes, you did.

Hey, I made a promise to take care of my family, and I will not let anything

threaten them, not even you, little girl.

Now, Sasha loves you. We both do.

But you need to decide whether or not you want to be a part of this family and

love us back.

You like that, Shirley?

Oh, yeah, I like it a lot, Brown. It matches my drapes and my walls.

Boy, that'll make a bad pair of pants.

And a shirt.

Shirley, I was talking to Edna earlier, and she said you was noticing all our

fine... Stuff in our house and our antiques and crisp style and stuff.

Yeah. Can I ask you a question?

Of course. You can ask me anything, pumpkin.

You don't dig for gold, do you?

No. I'm not a gold digger.

Oh, well, good.

You're not looking for somebody to take care of you?

Well, I didn't say that.

A girl likes to have somebody take care of her.

Well, if we got married?

Would you still keep your job at the school?

I doubt it.

You know, my job at the school is just for reclamation.

Well, ain't nothing like a little reclamation to keep your mind

Uh, what if I got decapitated and couldn't work?

Well, that better not happen.

You need your left hand.

The only thing that happened to my little sugar daddy.

Sugar daddy?

What?

Edna was right.

What? I fell for the banana in the tailpipe.

What? She's a gold digger. No, I'm not.

What you got to say for yourself?

I'm not a gold digger, Pam.

Why would you say that?

Well, you did. You noticed all the expensive things around here.

Well, I noticed them because I have good taste.

Except for men.

You know what? You just been using me as your cash cow.

Why was she trying to milk your daddy?

This is gonna hurt me.

This is gonna hurt me, but... Sheriff, you gotta go.

I don't have to take this.

You're making a mistake, Brown.

Now you're making a mistake, because I'm hot to death.

You got to find your gold somewhere else.

Bye, Sheriff.

I've never been treated so rudely.

Goodbye.

Come here, Shirley.

Come here. You haven't been treated rudely. Come here, Shirley.

Rob,

get yourself together now.

We was going to have babies.

Did you know her?

No, I don't know her.

But she's in all those high society Atlanta magazines.

Apparently, her late husband left her with a fortune.

She's like one of the richest women in the South.

Did you say rich?

I'm sorry, Brown.

I put my foot in my mouth. Well, I'm going to put my foot up.