Original subtitles

I don't want to talk about it. But it couldn't have been that bad.

It was really that bad.

Oh my God, please don't do that. Please get out of that gross rug. We have never

cleaned that. Like in a whole eternity, it has never been cleaned. It's so

gross. I don't care. You're going to be covered in spiders.

I don't care if there are any spiders in here.

Well, you should.

Because California is the home to the brown recluse, which is the most

spider in the world.

Really? A brown recluse -y.

Bites you. You don't even feel it.

And then the venom sits in your skin and it tears it apart until your arm falls

off weeks later.

Holy shit.

Yeah. You get gangrene.

Or something like that. You get that.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

Pappas doesn't want you to get gangrene either.

He wants you to come out and have some tea.

Just have some tea. Why don't you just...

Just get yourself out of your little rug taco, your little spider bite cave.

Come out and have some tea.

Have some tea.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't know if I'm more scared by the spiders right now

or you're shoving that thing in my face with that voice.

Just get out.

Okay, I'm scared of the spiders.

Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. I don't want to get

gangrene. Shit, shit. Oh, my God. Get over here.

Oh, shit.

Maybe I'm going to fight him.

Stick, stick, stick.

God. I didn't mean to throw you, Pepper.

Pepper saved you. Pepper saved all of us. What is this anyway? Pepper.

I saw him on Hollywood Boulevard with all the table things and he caught my

I sometimes climb up in a tree, but climbing down is hard for me.

Cute.

Oh, God. I just feel like such a dick.

There are not... condoms big enough out there to fit over my dickness right now.

So what happened?

You said wanna fuck.

I couldn't go through with it. I was in the middle of it. I was like wanna fuck

and then it turned into like wanna fucking go out. I think we should go

and get some great outdoors.

Who says that? Like the moron that I am.

Did you go out?

Yes. Yes. Yes. We went out to some like weird park and we're sitting there and

then in the middle of nowhere.

In the middle of nowhere, he takes a nap.

What? Who does that?

I know, and then so he's sleeping on my shoulder for like 20 minutes.

And then, out of nowhere, he wakes the fuck up and thinks people are stealing

our laundry.

Oh my god.

And so he makes a run for it back to the laundry.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because it honestly sounds like he's

like, the victim of physical abuse or something.

What? Like, I was reading this thing about people who've been through, like,

hardcore, like, physical trauma in their life, that sometimes they get into this

panic zone, and they fall asleep, and they wake up, and they don't know where

they are, and they're all disoriented, and they start freaking out, and they do

crazy stuff.

So maybe he's just, like, a victim.

Holy shit.

That sounds heavy.

Maybe he was just high.

Oh, yeah.

I never thought about that.

He could have just been high.

Yeah.

You know, I thought, like, because this is my whole thing. I thought it was

because, like, I was awkward. You know, I was awkward as fuck. And then that

made him more awkward. And then everybody was awkward because I was

it was just like a mess.

But maybe he was just fucking high.

Or maybe he's just a conehead.

Yeah, like he is a serious fucking weed muncher. Like a muncher of so many

weeds. God, I feel so much better right now. Like, I feel like a piano just

lifted up off my shoulders.

Yeah.

This is California.