Original subtitles

Previously on J -Pod. For those of you who aren't already aware, I'm the new

executive appointed to oversee this J -Pod.

Jim? Look, it's... Sarah!

You were always the best mom of any of my boyfriends. And you, the best of all

Ethan's girlfriends.

Why do you have Steve's DNA?

Steve, we've come to bring you home. Cam Fong kidnapped you? Got you addicted to

heroin? She made me a course. Sequence. Hello, stranger.

Sarah.

Good morning, creepy head. I'm making your favorite, toaster waffles.

Lots of yummy preservatives. Your corpse shouldn't rot for years.

Not true.

Decomposition begins at the moment of death as a result of autolysis.

The self -destruction of cells and the breakdown of tissue by bacteria.

I love it when you talk like you're still in med school.

Sarah, last night was amazing, but there's something I have to tell you.

Girlfriend? Yeah. No, I mean, she's not my girlfriend.

We're just friends right now, but her name is Caitlin.

I'm not surprised. There's someone else. You are a total catch.

All I want to know is that I've still got a chance.

Steve.

The door was unlocked, man.

I was just wondering if you needed a ride to work.

Steve, this is Sarah. She's, uh... I'm his ex -girlfriend. All right.

Yeah, Steve. Steve's my boss. I work with Steve. We work together.

That's where we're going. Yeah, we're going to work.

I've got a big day ahead of me, too.

Do you mind if I crash it for a few days? I'm between apartments.

Sure.

Hey.

You hit that?

Nice.

You're high, aren't you?

You're going to kill yourself with that crap.

Thank you, Lisa Simpson.

Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Here, this should cheer you up.

This is my wallet. How else am I supposed to run a car?

Why would you use my car to rent a car? Because my car is still in the police

impound, man. Look, you want a ride or not, huh?

Come on, Casanova.

Well, they'd be shocked to see the thieves back.

Once you get your old job back, Sprite Quest is as good as dead.

All right, brother. You all right, man?

Alistair Steve. Steve?

Alistair. Alistair. Don't touch me, infidel. Soon the sewage pipes will

rivers of your blood because I am the living... ...murder.

And nothing will sway me from my path. And there will be 70 celestial virgins

waiting on my beck and call.

And those girls will like me for me.

I'll have what he's having.

I can't believe Alistair tried to blow up N .A. We're lucky he was better at

rock, paper, scissors than terrorism.

I thought they released him from Gitmo because he wasn't linked to Al -Qaeda.

Maybe when he went in, but prison changes, man.

So what happened? He was ranting about sewage systems and rivers of blood.

And then Steve clicked what he thought was his rental car's key fob and... Wow.

One second Alistair was standing there and the next he's just an orange dust.

Where is Steve? He didn't fight it, did he?

No, the cops are taking his statement.

Oh, good.

I can't wait to talk to him.

Cowboy said he's gone all nihilistic and naked lunchy ever since he got addicted

to heroin. Just when he's high. He's kind of like Steve McQueen. There's none

that emotion. There's a lot less of that, like, I need my idea lab.

I still prefer the broken legs during a Himalayan retreat extreme cuddling

accident story.

Are you okay?

Yeah, fine.

Mama.

How did you get that? Honestly, I'm fine.

Okay.

Yeah, Mama.

Yes, when I die, you will get all of my insurance money.

I'm all right, Mom.

Yeah, Ethan was there, but he's okay.

Hey, Pitt.

Yeah, intent is one way to describe it.

Hey, Mom, I'm fine.

We'll let you know. No, I was on the other side of the park when Alistair

himself up. Oh, thank goodness. When we heard the news on the radio, we were

just sick.

And why didn't you call us as soon as you got home from China?

Mom, I was almost killed by a terrorist today. Could you please cut me some

slack? Yeah, look, anyone else killed?

Steve? Anyone?

Hello, Dad.

You'll be happy to know that Steve is blissfully unaware that you sold him

slavery. Oh, and he's a drug addict now. You must be very proud.

Well, we're just so happy that you're all right, son. Good. And you keep in

touch.

How is young Steven, then? All refreshed from his expedition?

You could say he's a new man.

And you?

Any... News? Besides the suicide bomber?

You let Sarah into my apartment.

Don't be silly. I had Greg do it. Mom, stay out of my apartment and my personal

life. Oh, Ethan, haven't you learned anything from this? You have to have a

proper life, full of dates with nice girls, or the terrorists have won.

Wow, this whole day has a real ding -dong, the witch is dead kind of feel to

Tom, will you show some respect? The guy just died.

Yeah, while trying to kill us.

I mean, that could have been me spotted along the parking lot.

Could have been any of us.

It was almost you, Ethan.

Well, there's got to be something nice we can say about Alistair.

Yeah, he was...

Kind of funny in a laugh -at -him -not -with -him way, I guess.

You could say he died doing what he loved.

What? He was a suicide bomber.

He always smelled like orange.

Kind of reminded me of Florida.

You know, his disintegration and some experiences I had in China reminded me

that life is short.

The cancer cowboy must ride. And by that, I mean have sex!

What happened to your death prophecy?

Yeah, weren't you supposed to die over there in China?

Even as a ghost, my parents still managed to let me down.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my knocking and rocking website awaits me.

Okay, John Doe, um...

Let's go take advantage of the free grief massages Annie has lined up for

You know, when something like this happens, you really owe it to yourself

reevaluate things.

So, how about dinner?

I can't right now.

I'm too jet -lagged and freaked out and...

I need to figure out what to do about Steve, but... Brain check?

Of course.

Of course.

Steve.

Larry.

Glad to see someone around here is still alive.

Sorry about your loss.

Don't worry.

Neotronic stock survived 9 -11, survived this. I was referring to your cousin,

Alistair.

Ah, yes, thanks.

Alistair was a complex person.

I take comfort in knowing that he didn't suffer.

I expect you want your old job back, with a raise.

Stockholders hate executives who think they're on debt and disappear.

No, but they love executives who keep their offices from blowing up.

Alistair didn't keep any documentation on Sprite, Quack.

Everything was in his head.

Care to run with it?

What about Vortex?

Do whichever one makes the company the most money.

You're the weird kid.

Snore. Bree, who keeps calling you? Nobody.

Ignore.

It's my mother.

You should talk to her. She's probably heard about the explosion. She's

No, my mother does not worry. She goes straight from shock to anger. Ugh,

Talk to her.

Hi, Mom.

Yes, I'm a bad daughter for making you worry.

Ow, yeah, I slapped my own wrist.

Ow. Okay, so if there's nothing else, I'll, uh... Well, this isn't really a

good week for lunch.

Okay,

I can't wait to see you two.

Yay.

Thanks a lot, Junie.

Lunch with your mother? I can't wait to meet her.

Being this close to death has made me realize the importance of family.

What is it?

You just made me vomit in my mouth.

Now I've swallowed it, I'm going to have to vomit again.

Postures.

Huddle up, please.

Everyone, take a hand.

Crazy morning.

Life.

Death, agony, ecstasy. I just wanted to say that I'm glad to see that you're all

safe and alive, ready to get back to work.

Welcome back, Chief.

How was China?

China was, well, you'd know, Brie, it was a revelation.

I learned a little bit about the world, a little bit about myself.

Any announcements, Steve?

Yes.

It's just upstairs with the suit.

Sprite Quest is as good as... Released!

What? I'm fast -tracking it.

But Alistair already fast -tracked it.

Well, then we're going to faster -track it.

Sprite Quest is a solid premise with mega potential, not to mention the built

-in buzz around the newsworthy death of its creator. I mean, the freak value

alone will sell 100 ,000 units. It just needs a little bit more... Turtle.

Steve, you promised you'd kill Sprite Quest.

Well, we all say things in the heat of the moment. Ethan, like your ex

-girlfriend this morning, remember? The one who was sucking your face right off

your skull? I mean, does she really think she's got a chance of getting you

back, huh?

Casanova?

Excuse me.

Okay, well, back to work then, everyone.

Caitlin?

Caitlin, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm so happy for you.

Don't you think?

Sarah's just an old ex -girlfriend.

Yeah, I do wish I hadn't heard it from Steve.

Yeah, no.

I appreciate your coming to China to get me, but I can't just kill Sprite Quest

as a favor to you. I don't care about the game, Steve. It's the peril. I can

quit anytime I want.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Whatever happened to the power now?

You're absolutely right.

This is me quitting heroin.

You're a good friend. I won't forget this.

By the way, I'll need the new SpriteQuest demo by the end of the week.

Sarah,

this isn't going to work.

Why do you go out of your way to make yourself unhappy?

I'm not trying to make myself unhappy.

Ethan, I can read you like a book.

You're feeling guilty about being with me because you like this Caitlin girl,

aren't you?

No. My mother wants us to get back together so she can get grandchildren.

She just wants you to be happy.

She knows that when we were together, you were very happy.

That's making me pretty happy.

Let's stop talking.

Steve, don't hold out on me, man. Don't hold out on me, all right? Where's my

rig? Where is it? Where is it? You're quitting, remember?

Stop working out so well, all right?

You just want cash, Ethan, okay? They want cash. Only I can't use mine because

the X's lawyers will find out about it. They shouldn't have to use my own money

because I have my own snacks.

Only you won't give it to me. Steve, you need rehab.

What, are you kidding? Are you kidding? What, and risk losing custody of Connor?

Uh -uh, Ethan. The X's lawyers would have a field day to find out I'm in

Whoa, rehab.

I can't do that. They're going to find out sooner or later.

They always do.

Steve, look at you. You're a junkie.

I am an opium voyager.

Damn it, Steve, cut it out.

I don't want you to die.

Okay, unless Steve is ready to admit that he has an addiction, our hands are

tied.

We'll find another way.

I can't believe you gave Steve heroin.

You saw him.

Cold turkey wasn't working.

He was climbing the walls with his teeth.

He needed it.

And he'll need even more of it.

I wouldn't even know where to get it.

Ethan, don't be so middle class.

How is feeding his habit going to help him?

We'll give Steve a dose every eight hours, then every nine, every ten, and

until we work him up to a single dose a day.

Then we'll reduce the amount of heroin per dose.

It can take up to a year, but it works.

We do the same process when I work with drug addicts in South America.

I didn't know you worked with drug addicts in South America.

There's a lot that you don't know about South America.

A year, huh?

How does that sound to you, Steve?

This is cash for us.

I'll take that as a yes.

Then we're set.

Found the perfect place to take your mother for lunch. Poo King.

It's supposed to be the best value in town.

Do you have a discount coupon?

Uh, no. Well, the restaurant has to offer a discount coupon or my mother

go.

Okay, I'll...

Find a fucking coupon.

Mm -hmm.

Nice.

And the use of Dwight the Turtle as a punching bag is a not -so -subtle screw

-you to Steve.

So how's Steve, anyway?

Right now, he's high.

What? I thought you were going to help him quit.

We're trying to weed him off.

We?

Me and Sarah.

Giving drugs to someone who's trying to quit.

Isn't that like giving an anvil to someone who's drowning?

We're keeping an eye on him.

Sure you are.

Jim? Yeah?

Look who dropped in to see us.

Steve. Hey, Jim.

What are you doing here?

Well, Jim, Carol, after what happened at N .A. yesterday, I couldn't help but

think, what if that was me? What if I'd have been blown up?

I was thinking that myself.

I'll tell you, I realized something, Jim. I realized that I don't want to die

without a clean conscience.

Oh, Stephen, everyone has secrets. We don't need to hear yours.

Carol, when we first met, I was new in town.

My marriage was in ruins. I was lonely.

You were nice to me, and I tried to take advantage of you.

All right, Steven.

Um, too much truth flying around, so I'm going to lose it tonight.

Jim, that voiceover job that I gave you, I only did that to get you out of the

house so that I might spend some time with your wife. Oh, well, who could

you? Carol's a wonderful woman. That's why I married her. That's why he married

me.

I have spent a lot of time re -evaluating my life.

I don't like the old Steve.

And as far as I'm concerned, he's dead.

Good riddance.

Jim, I've taken up enough of your time.

Yes, you have. Thank you.

Carol.

Just kidding.

Thank goodness.

Looks like

Steven

has finally gotten his act together.

What a relief.

Hey, what is it, sweetie? Is everything okay?

Are we doing the right thing?

You want to be on top?

Caitlin said something today.

She compared giving heroin to Steve with giving an animal to a drowning man.

Well, if she has another idea, I'm all for it.

Steve,

you're not getting any more smack until tomorrow.

Caitlin. What was that today?

Between us?

Some weirdness.

I don't want us to be weird.

Me neither.

I'm Ethan.

Clearly interrupting your evening.

Hi.

I'm Caitlin.

You're the Caitlin that Ethan is always talking about.

Guilty as charged.

I didn't realize you were staying here with Ethan. It's only temporary.

But when you have the kind of history that we have, it doesn't take long to

back into old patterns.

Oh!

I am so glad to see that Ethan is expanding his horizons.

When we first dated, he didn't have any female friends.

Friends?

Yeah.

Nice to meet you, Sarah.

I'm going to go. Hey, do you want to grab a bubble tea? There's a really

place just around the corner. Unless this is too weird for you.

Let's go.

Why don't I come along?

I've been cooped up with you too much the last couple of days. I need some

time.

I am totally going to steal that shirt. Where did you get it?

Well, I can honestly say that I have never tried that.

Nylon or pleather?

Cowboy.

Gotta go.

I need you to be my boyfriend.

Flattered, but I make the rule never to pill another man's soil.

Okay, here's the deal. If I scare my mother with the most horrific boyfriend

imaginable, she might finally give up on me and leave me alone.

Why not use your real boyfriend?

One, John Doe is not my boyfriend.

And two, John Doe would not have the same effect on Winnie that you would.

Thanks, Bree.

I hope I can live down to your expectations.

Trust me.

When Winnie meets you, she will have no idea what hit her. You're taking cowboy

instead of me?

Hey, relax, buddy. I'm going to be the boyfriend from hell. I can be the

boyfriend from hell. Well, John Doe, you can't be a rude, selfish, mildly racist

bastard. Well, I could if you gave me a chance, you oriental person.

John Doe, please.

Come on.

Doing this for us.

Found your Fooking coupon.

15 % off.

Someone keeping you up late?

Hey, you can't just show up at work like this. What if I was in a meeting? What

makes you think I'm here to see you?

Ready?

Hey, uh...

I don't think I'm comfortable with you and Caitlin hanging out. Why?

Because you liked her?

Yeah, I guess.

But she's also your friend.

And if she's a friend of yours, that makes her a friend of mine, right?

Yeah.

Bye!

Great.

Sarah's going out for lunch with Caitlin.

Mm -hmm. And that's not good because... Because it's weird being in the same

room as both of them. Not if you add nudity into the mix.

Ethan, this is so straightforward. What you've got is Betty and Veronica

syndrome. The inability to choose between two women who are friends.

I do not.

Fortunately, there is a very simple cure.

You choose one or the other, and poof, the problem is solved.

Uh, aren't you going to get in trouble for being gone so long? The number of

lunches I've worked through, they owe me a month off. Hmm.

Although it is getting kind of late, I should get back.

Do you want to get high first?

Uh, no. No, thanks.

You don't know what you're missing.

Harold's dope is medical grade.

You get drugs from Ethan's mom?

What?

Ethan hasn't set you up yet?

Uh, Ethan doesn't do drugs, Sarah.

There's a lot about Ethan that you don't know.

Like, it takes him a long time to get comfortable around someone.

We dated for a year before he walked around naked in front of me.

Yeah, that's great.

I'm going to go, Sarah.

See you later.

Ethan, I need to become a bad boy.

You're asking the wrong guy for help, man. You've got two women on the hook.

Let's try the other way around.

I thought when I got back from China, things with Kate would finally, you

but Sarah.

Man, I always wondered what my life would be like if she hadn't dumped me.

What do you think?

I'm not the guy who makes the choices, man. I'm the guy who gets chosen.

That's why I need your help.

Well, if you want to become a bad boy, you need to talk to Cowboy.

Besides him, who would you recommend?

The baddest dude I know is Cam Farr.

You're right. He'd be perfect.

Hello? Hello, Ethan. How are things?

Bad bet.

Hey, well, to be honest, we think things could be better. Maybe you can help me.

How do you usually make a choice? Flip a coin?

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe?

Depends on the choice.

Chocolate or vanilla?

Paper or plastic?

Betty or Veronica.

I see.

Ethan. According to the Young Myers -Briggs personality tests, there are

different personalities.

On a planet with 6 billion people, you have about 375 million soulmates to

choose from. Oh, that's not so many.

Very funny. My point is, why limit yourself to what's behind door number

door number two?

There's always door number three.

hey see you in eight hours probably not i get the feeling that my visit with

connor is gonna wear me out connor today apparently stopping a terrorist really

greases the wheels with family court oh listen don't worry about the sprite

quest demo okay we can put that on the back burner remember you can always

revise the schedule at any time steve steve you can't take that gotta go back

work you can't take that before you see your son

So, young friend of Ethan Jarlowski, now you need my assistance.

Yeah, I need to piss off my Chinese girlfriend's mother tomorrow at lunch.

Because? I need to make her know that she's dealing with a tough guy, not a

wuss. There is no enemy more formidable than a Chinese matriarch.

And I have had many enemies.

I will help you, John Doe, before price.

Do not insult me.

Thank you, Mr. Pond. I really appreciate this.

And now, we will retire to my favorite karaoke bar, where I'm shooting cover

for my Masterpone Theater DVD cases.

Why would we want to... Driver!

So, when you meet her, you have to give Winnie a really big hug, because she

hates over -familiarity from strangers.

Also, don't wait for her to invite you to eat. Just dig in.

Okay.

Use your chopsticks as drumsticks. Yeah, that's really rude.

And, oh, when you're finished eating, just jam your chopsticks straight into a

piece of food. That way you basically summon the devil.

Jam it in the devil. Got it. Now, Kit, what do you think of...

this attire?

Eh, a bit too crazy hobo. How about you do...

No. Brie, I would do a lot of things. Short shorts is not one of them.

There.

Yeah, okay. But you look better with short hair.

I will not wear a bath.

You need facial hair.

There.

Classic cowboy.

Why mess with the formula?

Because. Perfect.

Ethan Jalewski for Steve Lefkowitz, please.

Yes, again.

Yes, it's urgent. That's why I keep voting.

How was lunch? Very enlightening.

Steve, it's Ethan again.

Still waiting for that phone call. Ethan, I'm sure he's all right.

Not Steve I'm worried about.

No, Stephen seemed fine when he was here the other night.

So polite, such good spirits. I think that cuddling retreat really did wonders

for him.

Yeah, for once he wasn't bouncing all over the place like some potty -training

poodle. That's because he was high.

He was high when he came over here, and he's high right now with his son.

Young Stephen is experimenting with drugs?

Ethan, I hope he's not pressuring you to try any.

Now, remember, kids, drugs aren't cool.

You got addicted to heroin in China, Dad.

The Steve that came over here last night, he's not the guy you knew.

No, he really wasn't.

We're trying to help him kick his habit.

But it takes time.

We're only making it worse. That's it. I'm done. I'm not giving Steve any more

heroin. No, you're only going to make things worse if you cut him off. I know

what I'm talking about.

Yeah, don't squabble.

Ethan, if heroin keeps...

Steven, even keeled. You can't just cut him off.

It's rude.

You can't be serious.

I mean, it's going to kill him.

Don't be melodramatic, Ethan.

History is full of high -functioning heroin addicts. Billie Holiday, William

Burroughs, Kurt Cobain.

I'm sold.

You know, if it's a matter of money, our friend Cam Fong, he could probably come

up with some primo heroin at a very reasonable price.

Really? Yeah, he's like a member of the family.

You want me to make that call?

No, Dad, I don't.

Steve, is that a critical juncture? If you cut off his supply now, who knows

what he's going to do?

Where's your humanity?

Ethan, what has happened to your value system?

Jim, make that call.

Here's a chance where we can finally help make a difference.

Right on, Carol.

Mr. Fong, I've been singing and singing and singing for a long time now,

and I'm sure your crew would like to get back to work. When are you going to

help me? Do you not remember Mr.

Miyagi in the hit film, The Karate Kid? I am training you through karaoke.

Karaoke? Track on, track off.

What was the title of the first song I had you sing?

Uh... Disc 3, track 4. Uh, ZZ Top, Sharp Dressed Man.

Every girl's crazy about a sharp -dressed man.

And disc 7, track 12.

Uh, N .W .A., Gangsta, Gangsta. Life ain't nothing but bitches and money.

Disc 23, track 6.

Uh, Jim Crotty, Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.

Baddest man in the whole damn town.

I see the truth of it.

Every song you have sung has been to teach you the ways of masculine

independence.

For my payment.

Disc 9, track 15.

Madonna spoke?

Surely to God. No, he... Oh, you're serious?

Right.

What's that?

What, uh... Speak.

Hey, Cam, Jim.

Jim, what can I do for you? A person wanted to get some, you know...

Heroin. Just hypothetically, what would that cost?

Is this for our well -traveled acquaintance, Mr. Lefkowitz?

It shall be supplied, free of charge.

Oh, Kim, you're a prince.

Strike a pose.

That tastes much better going down than coming up.

Oh, baby, you're so wacky. How long have you been seeing this man, Brianna?

We hooked up about a month ago after they dropped the charges.

The witness recanted.

I was talking to my daughter.

Don't be so uptight, Winnie.

Your father was wise not to come.

You bring shame upon our family.

Yum.

Salted fish.

I'm Bree's other white meat.

You have two boyfriends? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

These are just friends from work, and we were pulling a prank.

Surprise! Surprise!

Bree, you big kidder.

We're okay with the fact you're more than one man can handle. See, Cowboy and

worked out a schedule. He gets the days, I rock the nights.

What? Oh, Bree, Bree, where are you going? Stay!

Why does Brianna persist in playing these games?

Maybe because she's tired of your judgment. I am her mother. It is my duty

judge her.

And when she is a mother, the cycle of judgment will continue.

10 % off.

15 % off.

You may not be such a waste of skin.

You, however, are irredeemable.

Yeah, that's part of my charm.

What have I done?

Hey, don't sweat it, bro. Have some of that.

Oh, cowboy, don't go reading fortune cookies when you're tucked up. You'll

it too seriously. It'll be a disaster like always.

You will nurture new life. Yeah.

You will nurture new life.

Nurture new life.

I don't want your flowers, John Doe. You just tried to convince my mother I was

a slut.

Isn't that what you wanted?

No.

I want my mother to think that I have bad taste in men. There's a big

difference.

Yeah, but I was a bad boyfriend, wasn't I?

Look.

I've never wanted to introduce anyone to my family before, but after the big...

I've realized that I might possibly want to consider introducing you

to them.

And I kind of actually maybe like that idea.

But I wrecked that.

Oh, well, don't worry.

You all look the same to her anyway. We can try again next month.

It's true. True, you're doing drugs.

Is there anything else I don't know about you? Relax.

It's a repeat. Sarah just dropped it off.

Is there anyone in your life who isn't on drugs?

Cowboy does cough syrup.

My mother has a boutique grow -up, but I think baby aspirin's about as harsh as

she gets.

Then why was Sarah trying to get me high yesterday?

What? Sarah doesn't do drugs.

You do like to keep your laws.

What else did Sarah say?

Sarah! What the hell?

Hey!

Do you know what the street value of this is?

We'll be rich.

We.

I do love you, Ethan.

Although, You should know that I can't have children.

When I was a drug mule in South America, I had a condom of heroin explode in my

vagina.

So there's no baby through there.

Unless I steal one.

Would you make me the happiest woman on earth and steal a baby with me?

You had drugs up your...

Why? Because my stomach wouldn't hold anymore.

I can't believe you're an addict.

Wow,

Ethan.

You sound like that Wendy Whitebread you work with.

Goodbye, Sarah.

Trigger treat.

Smell my feet.

Give me my damn heroin.

Hey, Ethan.

Ethan.

Time to feed the monkey.

Hey, I hope you enjoy working weekends for the rest of your life, you selfish

little... Steve, upstairs.

What the hell is this?

Steve, this is your intervention.

Take a seat.

Okay.

Steve.

You're putting your job and your relationship with your son and your life

line because you refuse to accept that you're a junkie. I am not a junkie. Yes,

you are. The drugs control you. You don't control the drugs. No, sorry. Beg

differ, okay? Ask Sarah. Okay, her plan is working. Steve, Sarah's a junkie too.

What do you mean Sarah's a junkie? Mom, we're here for Steve right now, okay?

Yeah, well, you know what? Chat amongst yourselves, okay? Because Steve -o is

done -o.

Everybody gets a chance to speak.

Mom, go ahead.

Stephen.

When you came over the other day to apologize, you were polite, friendly,

huggy as usual.

And you were hot, Stephen.

Don't try to tell me you weren't.

Sarah cannot be a junkie. That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

Later, okay?

John Doe?

So I don't really know you that well, Steve, I admit. But the past few days,

have been...

Less of a complete social reject.

It's true.

The thief that Ethan and I rescued from China was actually kind of cool.

What was wrong with me before? I was a nice guy before. You guys liked me.

Caitlin, you liked me before I went to China, right? Tell him, tell him. My

used to say that if I didn't have anything nice...

to say about a person. I just shouldn't say anything at all.

Or go home with them.

So make up your mind, Steve.

Either become a high -functioning heroin addict or quit.

But stop wasting our time.

Life's too short.

Can you do it, Steven? Can you use drugs responsibly?

Man, for a second there, I thought you were going to quit.

It's fucking ridiculous. I don't need the drugs. I want

the drugs.

Damn straight, it was nice of your friends to score that bag of horse, too.

Wasn't it?

Can I get a taste?

Hell yeah.

Time to chase the dragon.

Go to town.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh,

God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh,

God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Wow.

All those lies Sarah told me about you just to make me lose interest in you.

Issues. Yeah.

Gee, such a Veronica.

You know what? That makes me a Betty.

Okay. Bad analogy.

Bad.

Wait, did you say make you lose interest?

Maybe.

Can I pick you up on that dinner?

Sure.

Not today.

What? Get back here.

Caitlin Joyce, nobody's Betty.

When she leaves,

she's just asking to be followed.

When she walks out, all she wanted to be.

My poor thing, she's just asking for it.

And I ain't saying nothing.

She couldn't care less.

Oh, wearing that dress.

Pretty little thing No, no Hot little thing

Hot little thing who knows it

Don't suppose it would be cool if we hung out