Original subtitles

Hello, my dear!

Who are you? What are you doing in my dressing room?

May I introduce myself?

I'm Luciano Pinglet, investigating judge of the courthouse at Gray.

An investigating judge? Oh my God! What do you want from me?

I've been assigned to conduct an inquiry and an inspection.

In my dressing room? - No. About you.

About me?!

Circumstantial charges have been reported to the...

...judicial authority by some citizens,...

...who're accusing you of having gravely violated...

...public morals by singing licentious songs and...

...by showing yourself in public in a rather revealing clothing.

Ah, is it for that? - Yes, madam.

The court president has charged me with making sure that...

...such accusations are legitimate. - Ok, have a seat.

Make sure of that. Conduct all the inspections you want!

Here I am!

That's the costume I use to wear in the first act.

How do you find it? - Generous...

It can't be denied that it exposes legs, arms...

...and shoulders a bit too much... - Do you mind seeing them?

Me?! Not nearly, I couldn't ask for anything better,...

...but now I can't look at you..

...by Luciano Pinglet's eyes,...

...but rather by an investigating judge's ones.

And doesn't the investigating judge like my legs,...

...my arms and my shoulders? - Sure! I like them!

Sure, he likes them a lot. He finds them enchanting,...

...but just for that... yes, well...

Madam, I'm a public official...

...in fulfilling my legal mandate.

Let me go on with my inspection!

Ok, you may go on!

What are you doing? - I'm getting undressed.

In case you want to go on with your inspection...

...about the other costumes.... - No, stop!

I can imagine them. Please, get dressed again! - Why?

Am I frightening you so? - Me?

No. Not me,...

...but the investigating judge...

Couldn't we forget the investigating judge for a while?

But the inquiry...the inspection...

I'll help you to conduct the inspection...

Gobette!

Who is? - It's me, Pinglet.

What do you want more? Let me sleep.

It's 7 am! Gobette, I'm late!

Are the trials beginning? - No, nothing begins.

We have no trials, but the president wants...

...all of us to be at work.

Gobette!

The street is full of people, lights are on and shops are open!

We've been sleeping all night and day long!

It's not 7 am but 7 pm! Oh!

It's incredible! Absurd!

I'm having you up for 8 am...

...and you're coming here at 8 pm.

But mr president... - Yes, quiet!

Be modest to be quiet at least.

We need the investigating judge for the first time...

...and there's no investigating judge! He disappears and vanishes!

I had to rush over to the bedside of a dying aunt of mine...

Enough with the excuse of the dying aunt!

Let her die once for all! Or use another excuse!

But tell me, yesterday evening, before rushing over to...

...your aunt's bedside,...

...were you able to talk to that woman at least? - Which woman?

What?! The so called actress who performs indecently...

...at Odeon theatre!

Don't you remember the assignment you were charged of?

Yes, I fulfilled it meticulously.

I conducted a very rigorous inspection...

...and I called her to respect morals very strictly.

I can guarantee that she was deeply stunned...

...by my words. - Indeed we have noticed that!

Why?

After shocking the audience at the theatre...

...showing her nakedness,...

...she went to the hotel with a shady bad guy...

...and spent the night with him in shameful revelries...

...and despicable squalls,...

...engendering indignation and protest by the neighbourhood!

Really?! - But this is nothing!

It seems that in the middle of the night,...

...she and her orgy partner, totally drunken,...

...have had fun in throwing bottles out of the window...

...threatening the safety of bystanders.

Having received reports of these very grave acts,..

...I made the theatre be closed!

And I invited the hotel manager not to give that woman...

...an accomodation anymore.

But now there's something for you too! - For me?

Yes. As an investigating judge...

...you have to conduct inquiries immediately...

...to discover the identity of that shameful daredevil...

...who was her partner in orgies and revelries.

Do you think that it's really necessary? - Sure!

I want to prosecute him by the full law's strictness.

Acts he made the past night entail,..

...in addition to public liability for caused damages,...

...also a criminal liability which can and has to be punished.

We'll have a resounding trial at last too!

Mr Pinglet,...

...this is a real chance for you...

...to be able to show your ability as a sleuth.

Let us be proud of you. Investigate and discover who is that criminal!

Mr president... I've already discovered him.

Really?! Well done. Who is? - It's me!

You?! - Yes, mr president.

It's me who spent the night with Gobette.

It's me who was her partner in revelries.

You?! An investigating judge?! But...but it's atrocious!

So was she your dying aunt?

Yes. That woman has captured and enchanted me.

You cannot imagine her elegance, her beauty...

...and her power of seduction! She's irresistible!

Enough! Your plea of mitigation is useless!

We do have a really nice courthouse at Gray, there's no denying it!

We were finally able to set up a trial...

...and who is the defendant? The investigating judge!

Mr president, do you want me to resign?

I don't know what to make of your resignation!

We've to damp down with the scandal. Woe betide that it'd be known!

And to think that just today I've received a newsletter..

...from the ministry of justice about magistrature's dignity!

Read it!

Papa!

Papa!

Mom tells me to take a leaf of paper for packing.

Do you understand English? - No.

How can I know what she wants?

Can she speak English only? - Yes, since a year circa.

She was hit by a ball on her head. - A revolver shot?

Revolver shot? A tennis ball.

I sent her to England to learn English,...

...she was hit by a ball on her head and forgot French.

Forever? - No!

Perhaps playing tennis again... Be clear, my dear, what do you want?

A leaf of paper. - Ah! Got it, the pepper!

Go and pick it up from the kitchen.

Denise, what are you doing? - She wants some pepper.

Pepper?! For what? - You sent her.

No! I just want some paper for packing.

Here. - I've nearly packed my bags.

Are you leaving, madam chairwoman?

Yes, I'm leaving with Denise in a couple of hours.

Tomorrow we're spending the day in Paris, at the "Hotel de la Paix".

Then we'll go to Honfleur to pay a visit to my uncle Millefer,...

...do you know the famous Millefer? - Aglae!

He invented the Millefer chicken,...

...he's a well known chef. Do you know him? - No.

Ah! It's outstanding! Do you want the recipe?

Why should mr Pinglet be interested in that recipe?

Why not? Better... - See? Mr Pinglet is a gourmet!

I love the good food. - Ah...

Him too, that's why he married me!

Pick up the newspapers, go over there to end up packing!

Ah, if I had washed the pans this way...

...in the kitchen, they would have expelled me immediately!

Go over there and polish! - These things have to be like a mirror for me.

Why are you laughing?

I'm not laughing... Oh yes, you're laughing!

Well, I married a female cook.

In a frenzy I seduced that woman,...

...or it was her who seduced me,...

...I have never understood well this!

But since that day I've been loosing everything,...

...decency and hunger!

Anyway, during 25 years of marriage,...

...I've been never failing to my conjugal duties,...

...not even in my dreams! Not even in my dreams, mr Pinglet!

And I'm blushing for you! And I demand...

Let's understand each other well, ok?

I demand that the woman leaves this country immediately.

How to do that, this way out of hand?

It's up to you to persuade her to leave...

...with no vain opposition. It's in behalf of you.

You can attenuate your liability only this way.

Go, mr Pinglet! - I go, mr president!

Goodbye! We're ready. - Yes.

This is for you. - What is it?

Read. - What I have to read?

Here on the newspaper there's an interesting piece of news. - Which one?

"Movement inside magistrature". - So what?!

Let's hope that they will move you too!

Nonsense! I have to follow my turn too.

Yes, wait for your turn! You let everyone surpass you.

Is it obvious for you not to protest?

And we've been getting musty here for 20 years!

Mama! The carriage is ready!

What?! - The carriage is ready!

What does she want? - Who knows?

Nice idea sending her to England!

Quick or you'll miss the train! Let's go, come on!

Everyone gets ahead! Even the more stupid ones!

Do you know who was nominated advisor in Paris?

Who? - Rastaboul! - Ah! Rastaboul is an idiot!

He must be an idiot, but he got ahead!

Do you know why Rastaboul got ahead? - What?

Because he has a beautiful compliant woman,...

...who lets the ministry staff run after her.

Don't you have a wife maybe? - What?!

I'm ready! Take me to Paris, introduce me to the big fishes...

...and you'll see what I can do! - Oh! Oh my God!

Two hours, got it?

He gave me a time of two hours to leave the hotel.

That swine of your president will have to do with me though!

He doesn't know me! I'm not one of those women!

I'm a true artist!

I won the first prize on tragedy at the academy of music.

Really?!

Andromaca was my debut!

And they cast me for "Moulin Rouge"!

That's what I am, the woman whom he ventured to expel!

But couldn't you...you say nothing! - What do you want me to say?

I'm deploring as Luciano Pinglet, but as an investigating judge...

Oh, sure. You like to have fun as Luciano Pinglet,...

...but you can't get into trouble as an investigating judge!

I don't mind, I'll make it by myself! Take! Close the luggage!

Come in!

Madam, the coach is ready.

Pick up the suitcases.

Do you go with me, don't you?

Where are we going? - To the station! - No station.

To 22, Spring street. Quick!

22, Spring street?! - 22, Spring street.

But it's where the president of the court lives.

I want to go just to him.

What are you going to do now?

He made me get expelled from the hotel,...

...it's up to him to find another accomodation for me.

He could make you get arrested for contempt of magistrature.

I wish! Think how much exposure I'll be getting: "Gobette in jail!"

Everybody will be talking about me.

I'll become famous! I'll get contracts even from Paris!

And me?! Do you know that it'd be up just to me to arrest you?

You'll become famous too!

Newspapers will write about us.

It'll be such an exposure...

I couldn't care less.

I'm an investigating judge, not a ballerina!

Let's not make the situation complicated.

We're in time. The train is leaving in half a hour.

I don't want to go to the station.

Your president has to see who is Gobette.

He has to remember me!

If you don't leave, I'm ruined forever!

The president told me that I have to make you leave!

Only this way he could forget what I did the last night!

Do you care so much to forget what you did the last night?

No. Last night was the most beautiful day in my life! - Oh!

I don't care that this is the last day of my career! - Oh!

Coachman! We don't go to 22 Spring street anymore,...

...let's go to the station. - Gobette, thanks.

I don't like not to see...

...that fool of the president.

You'll see him. - Where? - At the station.

He's leading her wife and daughter who are going to Paris.

Does the president remain alone? - Yes, he does.

Coachman! We don't go to the station anymore,...

...let's go to 22, Spring street!

Oh Gobette! You drive me crazy!

The president? - He's not here, he's at the station. - We know.

Pick up the suitcases and take them into his bedroom.

Into his bedroom?! But I don't know if...

It's a joke! A joke we want to play on the president.

Ah, a joke...I love jokes. Ah, ah...

Gobette!

Gobette, think well about what you want to do.

I want to deal with your president.

We'll see who is the strongest one.

He has the weapon of law, I have my weapons too.

He's a champion of virtue,...

...he hasn't been cheating his wife...

...for 25 years, not even in his thoughts!

All this is so exciting! - Do not get excited!

Get a sense! Think about what you're doing!

Gobette! - What are you laughing at? - Nothing.

I'm thinking of the joke. It must be funny. - Very funny!

This honest, conservative, and virtuous mood...

I'm feeling moved like the evening of my debut.

Do you get undressed? - Sure! I'm preparing my weapons! Now go away.

Be calm, I'll fix your president!

Think for a while about what you're doing! Please!

Oh my God! What's going to happen now?

Please, do not tell mr president that I was in here too.

Is this for the joke too?

Yes. If you talk about me, you'll ruin everything! You didn't see me!

Got it! There will be something to die laughing at.

Quiet! Here he is! He's going upstairs!

Why did you open the door?

I've heard you going upstairs.

Why are you laughing, idiot? - Nothing, I'm merry.

Lucky you! I'm seeing red instead.

Why are you so hilarious?

Stop laughing, stupid!

My big apologies, mr president,...

...but I can't resist, I can't help it!

Would you like anything else, mr president?

Nothing else, you may go to bed. - That's fine!

What?

Eh! Eh! - Hello, my dear!

Who are you? What are you doing here? - Who I am? I'm Gobette.

Gobette?!

The showgirl of "Clarette" company.

The creator of "The marquise's lovers" operetta.

Who did let you get into my home?

You.

Me?! - Sure! You made me get expelled from the hotel,...

...so I need to sleep somewhere.

And do you come and sleep in my home? - Yes. Your wife has left.

Her bed is free. And I take advantage of that, I use it!

Don't you think it's right? - Sofia! - Do not shout so loud,...

...or you will awaken the neighbourhood.

Everyone will come to know that Gobette has slept with you.

If they knew that, I'd have to resign!

Too bad for you!

If you didn't make me get expelled from the hotel,...

...nothing should have happened. And then...

And then don't you like so much to fall asleep close to me?

No, me sleeping with you?!

You're so nice! - Enough! I can no longer listen to you!

Your ruffled hair! Your gaze, I like you!

Leave me alone! I'm a serious man. A man of knowledge.

I'm a woman of knowledge too and mine is worth more!

Ah, and I'll teach you some lessons. - I don't need them.

Yes, you do need them! - You'll waste your time.

I must confess, because, given my age,..

...I lost my memory... - I'll wake it! - Let me go!

Lord have mercy! - What's up?

I'm ruined! - Why? - It's atrocious!

What's so atrocious? - My memory's coming back.

Ah, see?! - Someone rang the bell!

Yes, I heard. - Who could be at this time?

Who knows, go and see. - Yes, I go.

Mr Tricoin, the president of the court?

Yes but I don't receive now. - Let me...

There's no point for you to insist. If you want to talk to me...

...come to the courthouse tomorrow from 9 am till noon.

I'm Cipriano Gaudet. - The minister of justice?!

Yes, I am! - My apologies, mr minister, I couldn't imagine.

Come in, mr minister! Please!

Your hat and cane, mr minister.

Please, this way, mr minister! - Thanks!

Your cape, mr minister.

Oh, oh! - Sorry, mr minister!

You're very kind. - Please, mr minister!

Please, have a seat! My apologies, if I have received you in this way.

I take this off and I wear a frock coat.

No! For God's sake! You'd displease me, no formality.

First of all I'm keen on apologizing because I have come here...

...to disturb you at such a late time. - Oh, no problem!

Better, it's me who have... - Please! - Thanks!

I counted on coming to Gray in the afternoon,...

...but I got a breakdown on the way: a flat tire.

Very well! I mean...

And since I have to leave early tomorrow morning,...

...I wanted to pay you a visit anyway. - Nice idea!

Did you get my newsletter about magistrature's dignity?

Yes.

Some recent scandals have drawn government's attention.

Ah! - When you have the honour to judge your likes,...

...you must not to be involved with their weak spots!

I was going to say the same.

I decided to get a sense personally.

I went through the region.

And what I saw is very sad: virtue is weakening!

Austerity is nothing more than a vain word!

Everywhere woman, the eternal enemy of the judge,...

...is exercising her depraving influence.

We need to clean the stalls of Augia once for all!

Yes, we need to.

My program can be epitomized in only a word: "purge".

"Purge"'. - Stop with the gallant affairs!

I'll be pitiless!

If I unearth any affair related to women, I dismiss relentlessly!

Right!

Moreover, of course you're not threatened...

...by my severity.

One just needs to look around to realize...

...that everything is inspired by morality...

...and by the most serious and severe virtue.

What are you doing, mummy's boy? Why don't you get into bed? Oh!

Oh, sorry, I hadn't seen you.

It's me who apologize...

...for disturbing your sleep at this time,...

...but I'm going around for an inspection, as I told your husband.

Would you like to introduce me to your kind lady?

Introduce you to my... but is it necessary?

Come on, Agostino, quick! Introduce the gentleman to me.

The honourable Cipriano Gaudet, minister of justice.

Keeper of the seals. - Mr minister.

My apologies, I came in like an intruder.

Not at all! The king is always at his home. Don't you, Agostino? - Yes.

The king?! You're gratifying me.

Who stands for the nation isn't maybe a bit like a king?

Congratulations, the chairwoman is a charming creature!

Mr minister. - Yes, she's a bit shy, that's all.

Mr minister, would you like a cup of tea or a glass of Port?

I wish a bit of Port. - Some Port and glasses, come on!

Some Port?! - Yes, what the lady tells you! Go!

But is the joke still going on? - Yes, go!

My apologies, mr minister, she's a bit fool.

You know, we're not well served at all in this small town...

But there's still some genuine ladies of the houses.

I'll mention you as an example for all the magistrates' wifes.

I assure that I wasn't expecting to find so much charm and kindness...

...here in this spot of the region.

As I see you, I can realize immediately that you're Parisian.

No, I'm just a little provincial woman.

Excuse me, but I'm an expert. A provincial woman doesn't get dressed like this!

I made it by myself. - Oh! But you really have all the virtues!

That's beats everything! - Here's your Port! Anything else?

Place it over there and go! Will you go or not? - Yes, I will.

Do you often go to Paris, madam?

Never, mr minister, my husband is such a curmudgeon!

What?! My dear president!

Well, mr minister, we have a lot of things to do here at the courthouse...

But you must have scarcely a trial per year...

Yes, exactly, but we do study and examine it in depth...

...and develop all its possibilities and...

I see. Have a seat! - Thanks!

Work is not enough. You need even...

...to have a little break in a small town like this...

Oh, but you get used to!

Then there're some shows once in a while, is it true, my darling?

Yes, there're. - Yes, I actually saw the posters.

An operetta, I think, featuring a certain... - Gobette.

Right. Exactly, yes.

Do you know her? - No, but they say she's amazing.

Oh, the usual amplification! - Did you see the show?

Oh no, for God's sake! It seems to be a bit racy piece of theatre.

A magistrate uses to set a good example,...

...so I abstain.

You have an exemplary wife!

Mr minister, there's a gentleman over there asking about you.

She's always laughing, she's strange.

My personal secretary. Come in, Ottavio!

Gentlemen. - Mr OttaVio Rosimond,...

...madam Tricoin and president Tricoin.

Have you been at the hotel? - Not even a free room.

Gee whiz!

There's nothing free but a pool hall. - A pool hall?! - Indeed!

A pool hall?! We have to put up with it.

You sleeping on a pool table?! I will never allow!

But madam, I couldn't know how to do.

I hope that you will pay us the homage to spend the night here.

Madam chairwoman...

Prepare the guest room.

Yes, and then? Which is?

Ah right, how distracted!

I forgot that I had changed it into a wardrobe.

Prepare the master bedroom. - The master...

No, I'd cause too much disturbance.

You'd do us a favour accepting our humble hospitality.

Is it true, darling? - Yes.

Go, Sofia! - Go away!

Well, then I'll give in to this kind violence...

My dear Rosimond, you'll be sleeping on the pool table. - Ok.

Would mr minister like anything else? - No. Good night.

Madam chairwoman! President! Minister!

And try not to sleep uncomfortably on the pool table.

I'll be dreaming to shot some caroms. Good night!

Rooms are ready and these are the candles. - Thanks.

Didn't they realize this is a joke? - Scram! - Yes!

Once again, a tons of apologies for such a disturbance.

Oh, for God's sake, mr minister.

We do appeal to your leniency.

You know, we still have no power supply... - Oh!

These candles never light up.

I'm just with no excuses in your hands.

Mr minister. This way, mr minister.

I wish you a good night, mr minister!

Madam chairwoman, I wish you the sweetest dreams!

Mr minister, do you have all you need?

Yes, my dear president. Madam chairwoman.

Good night, mr minister! - Good night!

And now it's up to the both of us! - Quiet! Do not shout, he could hear you!

Can't you realize what have you done?

Me, who've been never telling lies for all my life!

Me, who've a very honest past of virtue,...

...falling down into this abyss of lies and abjection!

Stop with these waterworks! You'd have to thank me!

Even to thank you after the hellish sleazy move you made?

Sure! I've rescued the situation brilliantly.

I've dished to you a warm platter with a woman of the world...

...who has enchanted your minister.

Indeed, the minister. What's going on when he'll come to know?

He won't come to know anything because he's leaving tomorrow.

What a pity though, I liked him. He resembles Eugenio.

Who is Eugenio? - Do not let me think about!

Well, are we going to bed? - Where?

Into my bedroom, you gave the minister your room.

See that I'm generous, I'm giving you hospitality.

No! A while ago I felt like being lost for a moment,...

...but now I'm self controlled again...

...and your seduction won't be successful on me anymore!

Do you prefer to sleep alone?

Yes, I'll be sleeping into the bath tub! - Be careful not to drown.

And tomorrow in the morning, when the minister will go,...

...you will leave immediately this house!

Yes! Yes, sure! Good night, idiot! - Ah!

Good night, Messalina!

Ah! Excuse, I don't find my bag.

Is it here maybe? - But Sofia took it over there.

She must have put it under the bed.

Has mr president already lied down?

Oh...yes, he's already in a deep sleep. - Ah!

When he's sleeping, not even cannon shots would awaken him.

...not even cannon shots.

Now I'll try to sleep too. Good night.

Madam chiarwoman.

My candle blew out.

I'll light up again right now. - Thanks!

I will keep an unforgettable memory...

...about your hospitality. - Mr minister...

Oh yes, in short, you have actually received the government,...

...which was on the streets.

In better times, we'd have applied...

...a marble plate on the facade of the house.

In better times? But you're almost reactionary.

I have a feeling of authority, that's all.

How right you're. Oh madam Tricoin!

Mr Cipriano Gaudet!

Good night again, madam chairwoman!

Good night, mr minister!

Oh! My candle blew out. - Oh!

Now it's me turn to help you out. - Thanks.

Why are you laughing?

Because we have candle holders like during ancien r�gime.

Do not speak about ancien r�gime anymore, you'd let me regret it.

It had its good side. - The king was at his home everywhere. - Yes.

He could give heed to his heart.

Actually he could. - If he, going through the region...

...met a gorgeous woman, might she be even...

...the wife of a president of a courthouse, he said to her:

..."I love you! You're the only true woman,...

...I have ever met". And she replied...

"Sire, I'm yours!" - Oh madam!

Oh! Goodbye, mr minister! - Yes, you're right!

Oh! My candle blew out again. - Mine too.

There must be a match box on the desk.

Oh! - Your hand! - Eugenio!

Eugenio?! No, Cipriano. - Cipriano?!

Oh, it's the same, Cipriano, my Cipriano...

What are you doing with this ashtray?

I'm emptying it, it's full of butts.

Mr minister smokes a lot.

Indeed! He hopes in vain he'll excite an unreal intellect by smoking.

Unreal! It's not up to you to empty ashtrays!

This task is up to the porter's wife.

The porter's wife has just had a baby tonight.

This is not a good reason.

Mr minister's butts...

...can wait for that poor proletarian woman..

...being able to do her job again.

Why do you have it so much with the new minister? What did he do to you?

To me?! Nothing. He's a northern, that's all!

And that's why you hate him? - Hate? No! I contemn him!

Since I have this job as a chief usher,...

...almost 30 years have been passing away,...

...all the ministers have always been southern.

It was a sacrosant tradition!

This is the first time that a northerner...

...ventures to sit down on this seat.

I can't prevent him from being a minister,...

...but I try, as I can, to make his life impossible.

For example, I use to arrange newspapers in a way that..

...he happens to read for first those ones which..

...speak ill of him.

It's nothing, but it's enough to make him feel in a bad mood...

...all day long, here it is.

Hasn't mr minister arrived yet?

No. He's taking it easy.

Everyone but him has been doing his job since more than a hour.

Nice example. - Do you think he'll be very late?

Who knows?

You have to expect everything from a northerner. Why?

Are you in a hurry?

My grandchild is going to get married in Passy, I'm the best man.

The wedding is set for noon,...

...I must catch the train leaving at 10:30 am.

Call my personal secretary right away.

Just you, Bienassis...

If mr minister signs the decree...

...which has to be published on the official journal. - Fine!

Find the Tricoin dossier.

Who is Tricoin? - Don't you know?

A high value magistrate, the president of the courthouse at Gray.

I'm hearing about him for the first time...

Good judges never make a name for themselves.

Virtue always joins modesty. Go!

But... - Quick! Do what I've told you.

And send everyone away. Today I can't receive.

That's all we needed... even that Tricoin!

Another northener.

There's my wife waiting for me at the station,...

...I will have to catch a coach.

You're pure like a lily, you're pure like a flower.

Ah! This then?! Rascals! Crooks!

Would mr minister have other orders?

Go to hell! - Fine, mr minister! - Just a moment!

I told a lot of times that the firewood has to be carried away.

I gave orders to the staff in charge.

I don't care about the staff in charge!

This box has to be taken away, right away! - Fine, I'll do that!

Just a moment!

Look at this device.

Take a careful look at it. What about it?

I say that it's a paper cutter, mr minister.

No! - No.

It's not a paper cutter! - It's not.

How obscene! And these inkpots and this ashtray!

All this brass!

They have not been cleaned since the ages of empire!

Will you excuse me,...

...the porter's wife is the cleaner.

So what? - The woman had two twins a night ago,...

...we can't claim that she...

...has babies and cleans inkpots at the same time.

But there must be in Paris...

...a woman ready to polish two cufflinks!

Oh! What do you make me say?

Yes, in short, charge someone with that!

Ottavio! I was waiting for you. Come.

I was waiting for you. You can even go!

Ottavio! I'm crazy!

What?! - Crazy for love! Crazy for passion! - Ah!

I've never been so in love!

I see. Angelina is a gorgeous woman!

Forget Angelina!

That love affair is over, better, I don't want to see her anymore.

I must let her get engaged at Odeon...

...so we won't even mention her. - Is a new love affair?

Yes, the most beautiful, exciting and fascinating one in my life.

Unexpected emotion, sensuality, delirium!

Madness. I'm still all trembling about it.

I see, mr minister. - She's not a woman at all, you know!

No? - No. They are two. One passionate and seductive,...

...the other supercilious and reserved.

One provocative like a courtesan,...

...the other chaste like a convent school girl.

One always promising, the other always refusing!

My goodness!

Imagine a mistress from high society:

...lovable, reserved, a marquise of the ancient regime.

Then imagine the sum of the greatest lovers:

...Thais, Frine, Aspasia.

The sum of all the pleasures and of all the sins.

A bacchante, that's it, a real bacchante!

I can't tell you her name.

My discretion prevents me from doing it: she's married. - The bacchante? - Yes.

And the marquise? - Her too.

And what about the husbands? - There's only a husband.

A husband with two wifes? - No, there's only a wife: her.

Ah, I got it. - She's worth double.

Before knowing that woman I was naive.

She revealed a world to me in a night.

Did I say a world?! An universe!

That woman is a font of love knowledge.

And to think that she lives hidden,...

...in a lost spot of the region,...

...in the smallest administrative center ever: at Gray.

Ah! Hence I met her in the court president's house!

Damn! I've revealed myself! - Madam Tricoin?

Yes, she's.

If you're a gentleman, you have to forget everything!

I've already forgot. - Fine! Well made!

So I can tell you the rest. She's coming here this morning.

Yes. She will make up the excuse that she has to go shopping,...

...in order that her husband won't suspect. - Ah.

By the way, the husband of such an enchanting woman...

...cannot get relegated at the courthouse of Gray.

I need to meet her every day. - Him?

No, her. - Ah!

We have to transfer him to Paris. - Paris?

Don't you think that this promotion will be suspicious?

Do you think so? - Well, sure!

Install him at Bezieres. - Too far away. I need him close to me.

I will install him at Versailles. - No.

This position has been promised to the senator's nephew.

Melun. - It has been promised to the prime minister's cousin.

Ah, that's true! To Tours? - To Tours.

Oh just you. Prepare a new decree right away...

...mr Tricoin will be nominated president at Tours.

And what about mr Durantel? - Send Durantel to Gray.

But I... - Do not waste my time, I want to sign it right away!

I will catch the train leaving at 10:50 am.

Mr minister, there's a lady... - Her?! It's her!

At last! - She's lady Angelina.

Damn! Just now?

Tell her that I apologize,...

...that I have to go to the council of ministers...

...and will pay her a visit as soon as possible.

Fine, mr minister! - Just a moment.

The wife of the president of courthouse at Gray must come here.

Lady Tricoin...let her get into my study right away.

Fine, mr minister!

I don't understand, she should have to be here already.

Stop by to the central hotel.

Ask if lady Tricoin has arrived. - Ok.

I have a fever. I'm in a stew.

I understand you. I go right away, mr minister!

Lady.

Did you have my name sent in to mr minister?

Yes, as soon as I've mentioned you, he said right day:

..."Damn!".

Ah! Is this what he said? - Yes. This.

Then he has charged me with telling you that he's very busy...

...with the council of ministers.

This is not true at all. He's waiting for another woman.

So does he want to leave me?

Yes, I think it's his full intention.

Ah! We'll see that!

May he not think to get rid of me so easily!

He doesn't know the women from Marseilles! - Marseilles?!

Are you from Marseilles? - Sure. I was born at the Cannebiere!

I'm from Marseilles too!

You can count on me, I'm at your disposal!

Thanks! I will go to his house and make a terrible scene!

Oh, no! Why at his home? Here! At the ministry!

Make a big scandal! All the newspapers will write about that!

Who is the other woman? - I don't know. She must be a magistrate's wife...

...who wants his husband to achieve a promotion.

The usual dirty tricks!

Let me do. I'll find the way to unearth the truth.

How will you do? - I've got my system.

Wait outside, in front of the ministry.

When I'll be waving a handkerchief, come upstairs.

You'll see, we'll have some fun.

Excuse, is madam Tricoin still in the hotel?

No sir, she has just gone out.

Can't you tell me where she has gone? - Absolutely not.

She has gone to the ministry! - Thanks! - You're welcome.

How do you happen to know that? - I know everything, sir!

Madam!

Madam. Nice to meet you again! Do you remember me?

Do you remember our journey from Dieppe to Paris?

We talked a lot.

You spoke English and I spoke French.

We didn't understand anything, but no matter! I took your hands,...

...you smiled, then you leant your little head...

...here on my shoulder and slept.

Madam, I've been loving you madly since that day!

Do you understand what I'm telling you?

No. - Oh! What a despair!

- Is there anyone speaking English here? - Me.

You again?! - May I? Poche, interpreter agent.

Agent outside, interpreter inside.

Do you speak English? - Sure.

Tell the lady that I love...

...and I want to marry her.

Tell her that my name is Ottavio Rosimond,...

...I'm the minister's secretary.

Damn! A superior! Orders!

Minister is waiting for me.

I ask him for a permission and I'll be back. Entertain her.

About what matter? - About the beauty of marriage!

Don't let her run away, keep an eye on her.

My duty is to regulate circulation.

Leave! Circulation will work better without you!

Now that's your duty, it's a minister's order.

Yes, sir! - See you soon, my love! I go and I'll be back soon.

Tell me your name at least. - Thursday!

Thursday? Ah, no. You'll tell me later, ok? Goodbye.

Goodbye!

Goodbye!

Why are you putting the bell under the cushion?

Quiet! I'm preparing a little joke for mr minister.

If he lapses into a love affair,...

...the bell starts to ring,...

...I run right away and so I spoil his fun.

Just today he's waiting for a woman...

...it seems that she's the new favourite. Better, remember, ok!

She's lady Tricoin! As soon she comes, let her get in! Go!

Go, Francesco, I've a lot of things to do! A lot of things!

Can I help out, madam?

I'd like to talk to mr minister.

I'm lady Tricoin,...

...the wife of the president of courthouse at Gray.

Please, madam, come in! Mr minister is waiting for you.

Is he waiting for me? But if he even doesn't know that I'm in Paris!

Mr minister clearly knows that. He gave me precise orders.

Police is always so well informed...

Mr minister will be here in a minute.

Is this really mr minister's private study, isn't it?

Yes, madam. - Ehm...

Is it true that the minister is a womanizer, isn't it?

Always running after skirts? - Well.

Because there're two kinds of women...

...the ones who want and those ones who don't want.

But those ones who don't want...

...almost always want in the end!

Indeed.

Excuse me, madam. - Yes, you may go.

Eh! How atrocious!

Ah! These objects must shine!

Ah! The woman cleaner of brass.

Hey, good woman. - Oh! Mr minister!

Wouldn't you be out to shine the brass...

...just here in my study? - No, excuse me if I've taken the liberty.

The usher told me that mr minister was waiting for me.

Yes, I was, but not now!

After the closure of offices. - Oh, mr minister!

How elegant. Is today Sunday?

Why? - How nice pillbox hat.

Oh! - You look like a flowerbed!

Since you're here, take and go into the other room.

Would mr minister like that I... - Take.

Yes, you'll be very satisfied with me. Mr minister... Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!... - Excuse me!

Thanks a lot, but when I apply myself...

Fine! - Everything to shine. Thanks.

Mhm! It's not bad!...

Mr minister. - Oh, just you.

Do you think this is moment to let the brass get shined? - What?

Another time wait for the offices being closed, got it?

But, mr minister... - No excuse!

Well, tell me: what do you want?

There's lady Tricoin. - Madam Tricoin?!

Why didn't you tell me before? Let her come in right away.

And I recommend that nobody comes and disturbes me!

Mr minister. - You. Is it you?

Sorry for disturb. - No worries! You're like at your home...

I'm so shaken and moved.

If you knew how much I'm getting excited to be here in this palace...

It seems that the ceiling has to fall down!

This emotion of yours is so wonderful.

I feel like a poor little weak and fearful thing.

Ester in the presence of Assuero.

Oh! How erudite!

I guarantee that Assuero is the most moved between the two of us.

Really? Didn't you already forget about me?

How can I forget a night of inebriation and delight...

Quiet! Do not let me blush!

Thanks for coming. - Oh yes.

Mr minister. - Tell me.

Please give me a big favour!

Already done! - You must not come back again to Gray.

Ok, I won't come back there anymore and not even you.

Oh not me, sure!

Well, I mean...I'll have to come back there inevitably.

No, you won't have to come back there anymore.

Your husband has been given a promotion.

I've installed him at Tours. - Why?

To have you closer to me.

Tours is two hours far away from Paris.

I'll be able to see you every day. - Oh no, for heaven's sake!

Yes! - I don't want to! - Why?

Because I'll be too much embarassed with my husband.

You're the only guilt in my life!

I'd be full of shame and regret.

Oh, I'm imploring you, it would be not delicate by your side.

How noble feelings! How pure soul!

You're really a honest woman! - Really?

Oh! You're so refinedly sensitive.

You've such a scrupulous respect of conjugal duties.

Your husband should be proud of that.

Well, yes, I'll conform to your wish!

I won't come to you, it will be you to come to me!

Yes! When it will possible to me.

Always! Every day!

If you don't want to do that for me, do it for the nation!

What does the nation have to do with that? - It does have to do.

Ah, if I didn't see you every day, I'd become nervous.

I'd neglect my duties as a minister.

What are you saying?

Could it be ever possible that a provincial woman like me...

...can have such a big influence? - A huge one!

Since I came back here, I've been thinking of nothing but you.

Of your wonderful body, your shoulders,...

...your arms and of that mole that you have close to your neck.

If I close my eyes, I see it again!

It drives me crazy! It fascinates me!

Let me see if it's still there! - Of course!

What do you want I made of it? - I want to make sure of that!

Beware! Someone could get in! What are you doing?

Can't you see? I want to see the mole!

Here it is! It's here! Just it!

Oh my dear Cipriano! I'm afraid that this story comes to a bad end!

No! It'll come to a very good end. - No, Cipriano!

To a divine one! - No! My dear!

Have mr minister rung the bell?

Not at all?! Are you crazy?!

Mr minister rang and he's still ringing it. - Me?!

Are you kidding?

Mr minister's not ringing the bell anymore.

Who did put this bell here? - I don't know.

Perhaps mr minister made it slip...

...during his animated discussion together with the lady.

Fine! Now get out!

I have to inform mr minister that there's the attorney general.

Oh, my! Where is he?

Here he is. Come in! - No! Just a moment!

Come in, mr attorney!

Just a moment! Oh! Good morning, mr attorney!

Mr minister. - How do you do? You look fine.

Thanks! - Very well! Shall we go to the council hall?

Please! - After you! - Thanks.

Oh!

The bacchante!

Madam Tricoin?! - Yes, who are you?

I feel like already knowing you.

Yes, I'm the minister's personal secretary.

May I ask you what are you doing here in my own study?

Yes, I'm just waiting for the minister.

He told me to come in here for a while and I didn't see him anymore.

Better, go and see what he's doing. - Yes, right away.

He's not over there.

There's no minister. - Where did he go? - Who knows?

Ah, yes!

A while ago I had a little faint.

It happens often to me.

The garment was so tight that I had to untie it.

Better, it must be over there, go and pick it up, please!

Yes, I go! Right away!

Have you found it? - No, not yet.

Look, it must be on the floor. - I can't see it.

Oh!

What's up? - There's the errand boy...

...who is here to take the wood box away.

This one? - Yes. Take it away.

Nothing. I haven't found anything.

How is it possible?! It must not blow off at all!

Are you sure that you wore it when you came here?

Do you think that I'm going round like this maybe?

Now who knows what you must think of me!

I think that you're a wonderful woman!

Really? - Yes.

Also you're so much, really so much nice.

Now they are really shining!

Oh!

Finally I was able to be free now!

Peek-a-boo! - Oh, sorry, mr minister. I'm done.

Are you done? - Yes. - What do you want now?

Well, if mr minister allows me, I'd like...

Take these ones too, shine also this one.

What? Do you really want me to shine also this one?!

Go! Go, good woman!

Come on! - It will be done. - I have to receive people.

Madam, madam. - Oh!

You?! - Mr minister.

What were you doing here? - I was reading carefully some papers.

Wasn't madam Tricoin in there? - No.

It's clear she gone away. - Indeed! - She must have lost her patience.

Yes. - Good think that I've found her garment again.

What a woman, my friend! You can't resist her charm!

Well...You're telling me!

You cannot imagine the power of her seduction. - I can.

You cannot imagine! - Yes, I can't. - Fine.

I have to remember to sign that decree...

...which installs her husband at Tours.

Don't you think it's a bit too far away? - What?

It takes two hours by train at least to go from Paris to Tours...

I guess that it's too much for your desire.

Yes, they are too much!

So where to send him? To Blois? - Blois?

It takes always more than a hour by train.

Why don't you move him even here in Paris?

Paris? - Paris?! - Indeed!

But you told me that this could provoke a scandal?!

Ah yes, if you nominate him as a president of the court,...

...but you could assign him a charge at ministry.

For example, personnel manager.

This would be suitable for an old magistrate.

It's an idea! - Well said!

You have given me a precious advice.

This has to be arranged right away! Report that...

No, forget it, it's better if I go myself. - Right!

Madam!

Has he gone? - Yes, quick!

You've to take advantage of his absence. You've to get out of here.

Indeed! And how to do? I'm half naked!

That's true. Oh my God! What a tragic sistuation!

Tragic not at all! I think that it's very funny.

What a pity that we have been stopped...

...why don't we start again?

My dear Bienassis. - Mr minister,...

...here's the decree to nominate mr Tricoin at Tours.

If you want to sign it... - Everything has changed.

Mr Tricoin won't go to Tours anymore.

Anymore? - No. I nominated him as a personnel manager.

So I've to make a new decree.

Yes, right away. I want to sign it immediately!

Go ahead, do not waste your time.

Well. Prepare and bring it to me.

I'll catch the train leaving at 11:30 am. - What?

I mean, my wife's waiting for me at the station...

That's not my business. Go ahead, prepare it.

Stay here. I'll look for something you can wear.

Are you leaving me alone too? - Yes, you need to get out of here!

But I'm not in a hurry at all, I'm feeling very fine here!

Wouldn't you better come back into my study? - Don't do that!

Stay here, I'll be back soon!

Oh madam. Are you back?

I thought you left...

Indeed! Well said! How to leave with no garment?

What, didn't you find it?

No. You had it. Where did you put it?

Into the wood box. It must be still in there.

Where is the wood box? Oh! Damn! It's not here anymore!

Has that box disappeared too? - I think so. Now I'll get some info.

Please, go over there for a while. - Again?

Just a moment.

But it's easier coming into a ministry that getting out of it.

Eh, you say so! It's all the contrary for a minister.

Has the minister rung the bell?

Where's the wood box?

It's on the way to the general storage,...

...according to the order that mr minister gave me.

What? To the storage? And what about the garment in there?

A garment in there?! - Yes, you know it very well!

You saw when I put it in there. - I didn't see anything!

You didn't see anything, did you? - I never see anything.

Fine! That box has to come back here immediately!

Charge someone with picking it up!

It's pointless.

The wood box cannot be at the storage...

...before 6 pm. - Why?

Because the van...

...has to complete its route until 6 pm.

- Ah! Damn! - Does mr minister have other orders?

Yes! Take a hike!!

Very well, mr minister!

And keep in mind that I'm not be there for anyone today! - Fine.

How to dress her again now? - Now they're really shining!

I hope that mr minister will be satisfied.

Do you want 500 Francs? - 500 Francs?!

Get undressed right away! - To get undressed for some money? Never!

So what do you want?

My husband has been waiting for a promotion for 20 years.

Your husband will get that promotion, but get undressed!

And what if I denied? - He will be dismissed!

I don't have a right to deny. What do I have to take off?

Everything! - My Agostino, I'm doing that for you!

Quick, there's no time to waste!

Oh! How impatient! - Quick, this way!

How he desires me! These politicians!

How he desires me! - Come on, madam! Your garment!

Do not trouble with that. Let me do, I'll do by myself.

Now go over there. - Isn't it better here?

No! It's not possible in my study! Over there!

Over there! Oh!

He's so savage!

Here, you're safe! - But...

But where have you taken this stuff?

The woman cleaner of the brass gave me.

You have to adapt.

You'll have your garment again within this evening.

This way, here.

May you introduce me to mr minister?

Mr minister can't receive today.

If you want to give him my calling card,...

...perhaps he could make an exception.

I don't think so!

Mr Marius! - What?

There's mr Tricoin, the president of courthouse at Gray.

Who is?

The husband of that lady the minister was waiting for today.

That lady dressing a shirt only?! - We have to send him away...

...and prevent him from meeting his wife.

Not at all! It's a wonderful chance!

Come in, mr Tricoin.

Mr minister will be very glad to receive you!

But I don't want to disturb. - No! No disturb!

How awful! I must be scaring with this stuff on me.

No, you're always adorable.

But it's falling down everywhere! If there were some spins!

I've got some, I'll bring you right away.

I don't want to disturb. - Mr minister.

- Ah! You?! - Mr minister.

I didn't mean to disturb,...

...but he has insisted to let me come in...

I've thought to do right.

Sure, very well!

Thanks, mr minister! - Please, come in.

My dear president. What a nice surprise!

I didn't expect to meet you so quickly in Paris...

Thanks. - Have a seat, please! - Thanks.

What lucky chance brings you here?

A regret. I'm here to free my conscience. - What?

A magistrate who had told lies is not worth to judge.

Please accept my resignation.

Oh! What are you saying, mr president?

Yes, I told lies. I've tarnished the white ermine...

...of my robe. - You?! - Yes, me.

And I will retire to the desert with my wife.

Ah this then, no! Here's a thing I will never allow!

If all the magistrates...

...telling lies had to retire to the desert...

...the desert would not be a desert anymore.

But I told lies to a superior of mine.

So there's nothing serious. Who did never do that?

It's an almost natural thing.

It's not necessary that you get so worried about that.

What would the others have to do?

Your colleaugues who provoke scandals, mixing women...

...with the sacred matters of justice.

It's actually about a woman.

I received a woman into my home.

A woman? - Even worse! A courtesan!

I have to tell you everything. - I don't want to know anything else.

I have to free my conscience.

I order you to be quiet, I'm the keeper of the seals.

I obey!

What must you be thinking of me?

I think that you're one of most beautiful personalities...

...in French magistrature.

Me?! - Yes.

You have driven your love for justice to the point of condemning...

...yourself, without granting yourself mitigating circumstances.

Could such a heroism remain with no reward?

No. That's why I nominate you...

...as a personnel manager of ministry of justice!

This is a dream! - No, it's real!

And now go over there and wait.

But mr minister, I...

Oh just you! You've arrived in time.

Accompany mr Tricoin right away through the offices...

...and introduce him to personnel, to all the personnel.

But let me express...

Later! You'll express later! Now go!

Yes. - Personnel's waiting for you! - Thanks. - Beware!

His wife is into your office! - No! - Yes!

Keep him busy. Give me some time to let her get out. - Ok.

Did you know that your husband is in Paris?

No. I didn't know anything.

As soon as I saw him coming in, I confess that I was trembling.

Oh, for you, you know. Oh, oh, oh! The spins!

No matter, I did it by myself. - Oh well done!...

Is he still over there? - No.

I've sent him to visit the offices.

I nominated him as a personnel manager.

I hope you will be glad. - Me?

S�. Imagine when you will live in Paris,...

...we'll be able to meet every day and every hour.

You'll be able to come here as you like. - Me coming here?

Yes. - Are you crazy?

Me crazy? Why? - Well, if you has nominated Tricoin...

...as a personnel manager, I'll always find him here. - Indeed!

What an idiot! Uh! I didn't think of that!

Send him again to Gray. - Sending him again to Gray?

No, it'd be a demotion.

By now he can't do nothing but get ahead.

So let him get ahead.

You'll find another place to install him, won't you?

Indeed. Only the palace of justice is left.

I'll nominate him as a president of the court of appeals.

What a nice career within 24 hours, isn't it? - I'd say so.

Ohh!

I'm waiting for mr minister.

I see. It's the dress code. I'm used to.

Excuse me, have you seen a certain madam Tricoin by any chance?

Tricoin?! - Yes, a lady who had more or less...

...the same clothing as you.

I'm madam Tricoin. - You?

Ah, then this? So they are two!

I'm the wife of the president of courthouse at Gray.

So you're the president's wife! - Yes!

Very well! Stay here, do not move!

Why? - Now I can't tell you, but you'll see!

What are you doing? - Nothing. Don't mind.

I'm greeting a friend.

I suggest that you don't move from here! Stay here!

I want to make sure that nobody is in there.

Oh! - You again?

What the hell are you doing here?

I'm waiting, mr minister. - Not here, go over there!

No, the usher told me to wait here and...

Do not mind the usher. Away.

Do what I tell you. Go away! - Yes, it'll be done.

Quick, go! The way is free, you can get out!

Oh, at last! - Ah, yes!

Oh!

Yes madam, your files will be dealt with...

...as soon as possible. - Thanks. - Keep calm.

Wait, I'll be back later.

Huh, you?

Mr minister. - You?

What do you want? - They told me that you wanted to see me.

Me? Not even in my dreams. - I beg your pardon, mr minister.

There must be a mistake. - Actually.

But, since you're here, dear Tricoin,...

...I can say that you're no longer the personnel manager.

I guess so. - No! You cannot guess anything!

As you wish, mr minister. - You got a promotion!

A promotion? - I've just nominated you as a president of court of appeals.

Me? How is it possible? - Everything's possible!

Mr minister,...

...I've just written again the decree for the designation...

...of mr Tricoin as a personnel manager.

Mr Bienassis, you have to write it again from scratch.

Once again? - Mr Tricoin is not the personnel manager.

I've been designated him as a president of court of appeals.

No! It's a joke. - Mr Bienassis, I never joke.

Go back to your office. - But it's that...

No more talk. Go.

That's right! Ok, mr minister.

I will no longer leave for Passy.

President of court of appeals, I don't know how to thank you.

Such an important promotion. - You don't have to thank me.

It has been just an act of justice and compensation.

The later the justice, the more generous it has to be.

Mr minister? - Is there anything else?

Remember that the prime minister is waiting for you. - Indeed!

I had such a lot of things to do that I was going to forget that.

Excuse me, mr president of the court of appeals.

What? President of the court of appeals?

A new promotion. I hope that it will be the last one.

Keep calm!

Ah!

Mr minister.

Where is he? Where's the minister?

Ah, he has just got out from this door.

You can't reach him! There's something here you could be interested in!

Here's the husband! - Ah! Congratulations!

You're the cuckold!

The cuckold? - Do not pretend not to understand!

Do you think that it's not well known...

...that your wife is the minister's lover? - My wife?

And that she's wandering half naked around the ministry?

Do not tell foolish things! My wife is at Honfleur!

So, mr minister. Ah! - Ah! Aglae!

Agostino! - Ah! Here she is! See that I was right?

Aglae! - See that I was right?

Shame on you!

Come, gentlemen! Come and see what's going on...

...inside mr minister's office.

What's going on?

Ah! Help, Agostino!

Shameless! - Ah! Now I realize why I've been getting all those promotions.

Uh! Oh my God! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Help!

Is madam Tricoin in the hotel?

She's not back yet, sir. There's the young lady Tricoin though.

Which young lady?

Madam Tricoin's daughter.

Ah, has madam Tricoin a daughter?

Fine, I'll buy a doll for her.

I don't think she's still having fun with dolls.

Young lady Tricoin must be already 18 years old.

18 years old? How is it possible?

Madam Tricoin is not 30 years old!

How could she have a daughter aged 18? - I don't know.

The guard, where is the guard?

Which one? - The one who can speak English.

He must be outdoor. - Call him. - Fine.

Young lady! - Oh!

How happy to see you again! - Very glad to meet you. How are you?

Oh, who knows what she said?

I need you.

Orders, sir! - Sit down here and translate.

- Ah, what happyness and joy to speak with you. Translate! - Yes.

Oh, what happiness to speak with you.

I'm very happy to see you again, for I often thought of you.

Also I'm happy to see you again, since I often thought of you.

Did she often think of me? - Yes. - Really?

Tell her that I've been quite dead for ten days.

Well, but you're exaggerating, come on! - Translate, translate!

Yes, sir. For ten days I am quite dead.

So, am I. - Her too, but she's exaggerating.

Oh, my dear! Darling! I love you! - Ah, this then!

Ah, please! Translate! - Yes, sir. - To her! To her!

My darling, my sweet heart, I love you.

I am a respectable girl!

Your intentions aren't honourable.

I cannot listen to you any longer!

I am a respectable girl!

If your intentions aren't honourable, I cannot listen to you any longer.

Ah! But they are honourable! I want you to be my wife!

No, easy, young man.

Marriage is a serious thing.

Ah, I know what I'm doing.

Tell her that my name's Ottavio Rosimond and I want to marry her.

Yes. His name is Octave Rosimond. Will you agree to marry him?

I too shall be happy becoming his wife!

What is she going to do, does she refuse? - No! We agree!

Oh! What a joy! I'm crazy, crazy for happiness!

You're always exaggerating! - But first we must have my parents' consent.

My mother just happens to be in Paris.

We must have my parents' consent.

My mother just happens to be in Paris. - What's her name?

Probably her surname is the same as her daughter. - Ah yes,..

...but I don't know it. - Don't you know it? - No!

You don't know her surname and want to marry her? - Yes!

Ask for her surname! - Yes, sir.

What is your mother's name?

Tricoin. - Tricoin?

No! That's not possible! Is your mother madam Tricoin?

Yes! Tricoin! - The wife of the president of courthouse at Gray?

Yes! Yes! President at Gray!

Oh! Lord have mercy! - What's up to you?

I'm her mother's lover. - No! - Yes!

Since? - A hour.

Must I translate? - No! For God's sake! It's dreadful!

These things happen.

What have you? - She wants to know what's the matter.

Tell her that it's joy, emotion... - Well...

It's the emotion, the joy,...

...the happiness... - Oh. I see. I am too very emotioned.

I go upstairs into my room.

Poor thing, she's emotioned too, she's going into her room.

Goodbye, Octave.

Goodbye!

Goodbye, my love!

The daughter.

Her daughter.

It's all over.

All I can do is throwing myself into Seine, yes!

Can you swim? - No.

So I won't suggest that. - Indeed.

Oh! Look who's coming!

Who? - The father! - The mother's father!?

No! The daughter's father! The mother's husband!

I'm the president Tricoin, where's my daughter?

I don't know, sir.

She was sitting there a while ago.

She went to her room, sir.

She's outstanding, she speaks a perfect English.

Lucky you who can understand her! - I'm the interpreter.

May I, sir? Agent Poche! Orders!

How do you know who I am? - Who doesn't know the president Tricoin?

Are you looking for your wife? - Do you know my wife?

I didn't have the honour yet, but I heard about her.

I think she went to the ministry of justice.

Do you know that as well? - I know everything.

Do you even know that I'm cuckold? - Do you know too?

Since half a hour. - Me since only 5 minutes.

Well, one can know everything very quickly in Paris.

So, given that you know everything,...

...I don't have a right to let you ignore the rest.

He adores your daughter, whose name he didn't know.

Who? - Your wife's lover. - The minister?

No! His personal secretary: Ottavio Rosimond.

So she has two! - Two what? - Lovers!

No! - Yes! The minister and his secretary.

The whole ministry.

Ah enough, I won't eat this bread anymore.

I will resign. Do you have something to write on in this hotel?

Maybe in the writing room,...

...but if I were you, I'd think about it.

No, enough! It's over! A woman who I took out from nothing,...

...from a kitchen range.

May I help you, madam?

Is there the porter? - No. I'll be absent for a while.

Do you want to tell me? - I had a date...

...with mr Frohman, the American theatre manager.

The meeting is for 1:00 pm. - We have five minutes left.

Yes, I know, but I go home to change my dress before.

I wanted to postpone the date in the afternoon.

I inform him right away.

Thanks. His room is no. 10 at the first floor.

I wait for a reply.

Well...

Just a moment.

I haven't told you my name. - It's not necessary.

You're Gobette from Moulin Rouge. - Do you know me?

I've been admiring you at the theatre.

For 109 nights in succession. - Really? - I was on duty.

Nice!

Is there anybody?

Porter!

Peek-a-boo! - Well, who is?

Try to guess! - What...

Gobette! - Hi, old teddy bear! How are you?

Please do not call me old teddy bear...

...and I forbid you to be familiar with me!

Ok. Do you greet me this way?

Well, it's like this... - May I help you, sir?

Send this letter to the ministry of justice.

It's urgent. - I'll send it right away. - Thanks.

I think we have nothing to tell each other.

My regards! - What a nice gratitude!

After all I did for you.

Well, what did you do for me?

Try to guess where I was a hour ago? At the ministry.

In the minister's study. - You?

Yes, me. To ask him to forget in order that you, after,..

...won't have some troubles. - What?

The night of love spent in your hovel at Gray.

I didn't spend any night of love.

Not you, but him.

You, him in my own home? Ah, This then!

This morning Cipriano wanted to start again,...

...but I've refused like a true dame.

I had the responsibility of playing the part of lady Tricoin.

My wife, you?

Inevitably, I had started that part by now.

But you don't know what's happened later.

Think that I lost my clothing.

So they had to undress a woman cleaner of brass...

...to let me get out. - Aglae!

So she's innocent!

Oh, poor Aglae! - What are you saying?

So I'm not... - Yes, for the minister?

What do you care? You have had a promotion for Paris by now.

A promotion? - Indeed!

Did I get it for this?

Because perhaps the minister thinks that you, that I...

No, I refuse that promotion!

How fool you are. - Getting ahead thanks to women...never!

I'm a magistrate of the old marriage bed...

Well...I mean...of the old school.

But I'm not even your wife. - Indeed, that's true!

Not even your lover. - That's true too!

I'm just nothing for you. - That's true!

You're just nothing for me!

So I can accept without shame!

Better, I have to accept! - Of course.

Oh my God!

Just a while ago I wrote a letter to the minister...

...in order to resign!

Catch up with the errand boy.

Come on! - Yes, but...

Hurry, do not waste your time, big baby!

Do not call me big baby!

Sorry if I dare to ask you, madam,...

...but may I ask you where you picked up this clothing?

I'd like...

I'd like to ask you the same question, madam.

What you're wearing doesn't belong to you.

No. What you're wearing belongs to me.

Now I understand.

You were the cleaner of brass.

Yes, I was.

Excuse me, madam, how did you get my clothing?

They brought it saying that it was for lady Tricoin.

Was it for me?

Is Tricoin your surname? - Exactly.

Are you a relative of the president of courthouse at Gray?

I'm his wife. - His wife?

Oh my God, so he's bigamous! - Who?

My husband! - No!

I'm lady Tricoin too!

Aglae!

Forgive me, my dear, for accusing you so unjustly.

Well? Don't you greet your wife?

Good morning, my dear! But didn't we meet already at the ministry?

It's not about me, but about the lady!

But I don't have the pleasure to know her. - Really, do you?

Bigamous! - Me bigamous?

I've been living with a bigamist for 20 years! - Aglae!

Got it. I can no longer be quiet.

Let it go... - So don't you want her to speak?

Well, I'll tell everything.

I'm a poor little woman.

I needed to ask the minister for a big favour,...

...but the usher said to me: "It's impossible to talk...

...to mr minister, he's here for nothing but lady Tricoin".

And did you dare? - Yes, I did, madam.

But the price I paid was high.

Ah, if you knew what the minister demanded from me...

Did he make you shine the brass? - Forget the brass.

But let it go.

An animated scene occurred, I lost...

...my clothing and I was given yours.

And to think that all this could happen to me!

Aglae!

That's the truth, madam. Could you ever forgive me?

No worries, poor girl. Fancy that! I do understand you!

Well, men! They will never know...

...what kind of privations women like us can suffer! Come, my dear!

I'll give your clothing back. - Thanks.

But I don't understand why she shined the brass in her underwear.

What are you doing here? Are you in charge of some special service?

Yes sir, I'm at disposal of the ministry of justice.

May I? Poche. Agent interpreter. I understand everything,...

...I see everything, I know everything.

So you know that lady Tricoin is in the hotel.

Tricoin? I don't know the lady, but I know her husband.

He knows everything. - Him too?

He's very outraged! He's not entirely wrong.

To come to know that his wife has two lovers.

What? Two lovers?

The ministry of justice and his personal secretary.

Ah, ah! You're mistaken, youngster!

The personal secretary has nothing to do with it.

Sure that he has! He told me.

Him? Oh! Here he is! - Mr minister.

My dear Rosimond... - The minister?

I thank you for the info.

I'll tell the police prefect to reward you.

Mr minister, I'd like to tell you...

No! You've been telling me enough for today. Go.

My dear Rosimond, are you fond of me, aren't you?

I owe you everything.

Glad to hear. Also I owe you something.

What? - You cheated me with lady Tricoin.

Mr minister, forgive me. I lost my mind.

It was a moment of madness, but I'll pay a high price for that!

I'll be paying it for all my life!

What's happened to you?

I had meet a woman and fallen in love with her.

She was the woman of my life!

Madam Tricoin? - No, her daughter.

Her daughter? How old is she? - 18 years old.

It's impossible! She's too young...

...to have a daughter aged 18!

Yet she has! It's terrible! It's like a Greek tragedy!

I loved a mother and her daughter and I've lost the both of them.

All I have to do is to join the foreign legion. - Do not dramatize!

Now I understand why you cared that...

...mr Tricoin were nominated at Paris.

Mr minister, I've been running after you for a hour.

I've been at Elys�e, at the council of ministers,...

...you were just got out, I've run after your car.

What do you want? - To make you sign the decree...

...for the official journal.

Mr Bienassis, everything has to be changed!

No! - Of course! Mr Tricoin won't be nominated in Paris...

...anymore, he prefers to stay at Gray.

But mr minister, I...

Well, what's up? Are you against maybe? - No.

So go over there! You'll find all you need to write.

Yes. - Go. - Yes, mr minister.

They must have got married already.

What, does mr Tricoin prefer to stay at Gray?

Mr Tricoin knows everything. - Oh my goodness!

You can imagine the consequence. He'll want to take revenge of his honour injured!

Honest men are punctilious.

This will provoke a scandal and a parliamentary question will be asked.

Ministry will be upset and republic will be in danger...

...because of a woman!

Ah no, no mr minister! Nothing will happen!

I'll take the entire responsibility of that and you will see that...

Here's mr Tricoin! May I?

Mr minister! - Mr Tricoin!

Good morning! - Good morning! I must tell you there's one culprit only.

Me. - Culprit of what, sir?

So does he ignore everything?

I think not. - What should I know?

Nothing. A little surprise.

I've deleted mr Tricoin's name...

...since he will stay at Gray. - What? Is this the surprise?

- No. - No! No! Do not pay heed to him.

What, I... - You don't know what what you're saying!

You did told me...

...that mr Tricoin prefers to stay at Gray.

How can I prefer to stay at Gray? Not even in my dreams!

Have you heard? You're dreaming!

But I appeal to mr Rosimond.

Me? Never heard such a thing!

Ah! See, mr president?

Here's the standard of our officials.

This is one of the best!

He always understand the contrary of what he has been told!

Mr minister, I...

Ah! Come on, go and prepare the decree. - Again?

Go! - Go! - Come on, go...

I will come in time for the divorce!

I heard that lady Tricoin is in Paris.

She stopped off but already left.

Now she's on the train leading to Honfleur. - But...

Here she is! - Well...I don't understand.

Oh! Mr minister and mr Rosimond. What a nice surprise!

Well, but hadn't you left for Honfleur?

Where is it??

In Calvados, my goodness! To the uncle Millefer!

Ah yes! I missed the train. - Ah...

They're waiting for you upstairs, my dear.

For me?! May I, mr minister? I go.

Please do. - Thanks, mr minister!

Let me be glad that you missed the train.

This hitch has let me to see you again...

...and to pay my tribute to you. - Thanks, mr minister!

Lady Gobette! I've informed Frohman...

...that you'll pay him a visit. - Gobette? - Gobette?

What are you saying? That's lady Tricoin.

No! The lady is the famous Gobette from Moulin Rouge.

Really? - It's pointeless to deny.

So you're not her mother! She's not your daughter!

No Greek tragedy!

Stop with your Greek tragedy!

Go to your girlfriend, come on.

Yes...thanks, mr minister! - You may go too.

You have wanted to have fun at my expense.

Do not exaggerate, mr minister, it was a coincidence.

I was at Tricoin's when you came in.

You have mistaken me for the chairwoman...

...and I didn't want to undeceive you.

Huh! My congratulations! You're a very strong woman.

As to him, the most beautiful personality...

...in French magistrature...

Mr minister, mr Tricoin has been nominated for Paris.

Paris?! Ah! Are you crazy? - What?

Mr Tricoin has been dismissed! Write the decree again!

Ah no! - What?

No! I have had enough of that!

Mr Bienassis! - You made me write it for eight times.

I missed three trains! Maybe my wife is waiting for me at the station!

Mr Bienassis, are you forgetting who you're talking to?

I'm the keeper of the seals! - Mr minister!

I've my dignity too and now I resign!

Oh! - Here's your decree!

You write it again! Or make it be written by whoever, however...

..and wherever you want! - Ah!

I'm a free citizen now and I've the honour to leave you! Ah!

Look what our discipline has been reduced to! I'll correct it.

No...there's nothing to correct.

Do you still dare to speak? After insulting,...

...mocking and lampooning me... - Insulting? Lampooning?

Ungrateful! Do you remember when when we blew out the candle together?

You held my hand, I gave you my lips.

Didn't you like it maybe?

Well...yes...

Don't you think that this memory deserves a bit of leniency?

Let it be, I'll leave him at Gray.

When you held me into your arms,...

...when you discovered my mole...

Ok, I'll install him at Vesoul, but don't ask me more.

And what about our awakening? At the crack of dawn you said to me...

"I owe you the most beautiful night in my life".

Were you lying perhaps?

No. But why are you remembering everything, Gobette? Why?

Because we cannot forget it!

Because it's a nice memory we owe to that poor Tricoin.

He deserves our gratitude. - Well, he will go to Tours!

Oh Cipriano, don't you think I'm worth more than Tours?

Blois! - A sleepless night!

Versailles! - Oh, think of the last moment.

Of that moment before leaving each other. You were so sad, my poor thing,...

...so unhappy with the idea to leave me. You cried.

You're right! Paris is really worth a tear, that's true.

Oh, well said! That's how I like you.

You're better than a great minister, you're a chic guy!

And you're like Satan!

And to think that all this could happen to me.

Translation by quidtum May 2013