All language subtitles for lap-eiof

EVERYBODY IN OUR FAMILY

Fuck off!

You fucking cunt!

Fuck me, you're filthy.
Your sweat's a killer.

- Buzz off!
- Better wash your armpits.

Any present bag to fit this animal?

Only New Year gift wrap.

At least wash some other parts.
You know which.

- Are you up already?
- Of course, sweetie.

Let me kiss you, pumpkin!

Are you hungry, Mariusica?

No, I'm in a hurry.
I can't stay long.

Just a tidbit. I've made something
for you to take away.

Cherry pie, Sofia's favourite.

- Did you have breakfast?
- I've told you I'm in a hurry.

Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa

Get your visa!

- How's life, professor?
- Fine, daddy.

- Something to eat?
- No, I'm on the run.

Have you seen the news?!

A man was killed by a
pot of cabbage rolls.

A woman left the pot
on the windowsill.

It fell on his head and
he kicked the bucket.

How stupid!

Thing is, the man had eaten
cabbage rolls for dinner

and he had an identical
pot at home.

What a coincidence!

One can't control anything,
everything is chaos.

Or God.

Don't start on God now,
just like a damned priest.

Mrs. Know-It-All!
I'm sure He exists.

You know this one?

Divine force =
Divine mass x Divine acceleration.

Have a treat!

Tasty.

But mine would be even tastier.

Let's see you then!

Oh my God!

Did you get the green light
from the Queen, chap?

I'll take the girl anyway
for two days.

Two days?

It's all by the book.
No exception allowed!

- I don't have time for your bad jokes.
- But I'm serious.

Can't we have a decent chat,
like comrades do?

- Leave the man alone.
- How could I?

He visits us once a year and
he can't have a chat with his parents...

And I'm the one doing him a favor...

In this case keep your damned car. I
didn't know I'd have to scratch your back.

Poor martyr,
you don't have to scratch my back.

But I washed the car for you,
out in the heat. 40°C.

Have I asked for something in return?

- I haven't. At least be grateful for it.
- But I am.

Then sit down and tell us how's life...
We only have one son, not 100,000.

OK, calm down.

Move it and pour him some coffee.

He said he doesn't want any.

Forget what he said.

You don't want to know
what he really wants...

- Do you want some, sweetie?
- OK.

Shall we go to the garden?

You don't even like pie anymore.
You fucking little cunt!

- Sugar?
- No, it gets me fat.

How long will you keep it?

I'll bring it back on Monday.

Poor baby, the long drive will kill her.
Stay for a few more days.

No way.
I'm busy at work.

Why are you lying?
That bitch won't let you.

It's not that.
I still have some days left.

I had 10 days last winter, now I've
got 2, so there are 3 more left.

- So I could stay more, but I won't.
- I warned you it will be a mess.

And don't call her
"slut" anymore.

But I call her "bitch", not "slut".

- Don't call her at all.
- You teach me how to call her!

Just be nice. Our problem is
none of your business.

How should I call her when
she's acting like a low-life whore?

Should I call her "Lady"?
Fine!

She's not a low-life whore.

It's a difficult situation
and we're doing our best.

That's what modern families do.

Be patient.

I can't make it earlier.
I'm broke.

I know I owe you,
but it's not raining money.

My son is here, he's taking my
granddaughter to the seaside...

Listen. Why don't we take Sofia
to aunt Lica's country house?

- Don't say!
- Fresh air, domestic animals...

- No can do.
- A little barbecue.

Fuck the barbecue,
we're going to the seaside.

Such a long ride!
She'll puke and catch a draft...

Don't start again!
It's not possible.

What kind of a man are you? Only
15 days a year with your child!

Whose bloody son are you?
Not ours.

- You're being hysterical.
- Don't call me hysterical!

Go to sleep, old fart!

Where are you going?

If that's how you treated "the Lady",
no wonder you're a pathetic loser.

- A Neanderthal!
- Maurice, I beg you. Stop it!

Stop begging me.
It's all so obvious.

It's all that bloody lawyer's fault.

Now you're counting your days
like a priest...

- What priest?
- Maurice, it's not a good time.

There's never a good time.

If it were for me, he'd have the child and
"the Lady" would be begging around.

I don't know
what the fuck I'm doing here.

It breaks my heart
to see my son so low.

It breaks my heart to see

my own father
won't listen to what I say.

He's narrow minded!

You both speak like academics.

Could our Mariusica have raised
the child by himself? Look at him.

But how did we raise you?

We were in our twenties,
unlike nowadays.

Don't make things worse.

That trial is over,
dead and buried.

I just want the keys, OK?

If you give them to me, fine,
if not, I'm out.

I'm only here because
my car is broken.

You pussy,
you're only after your interest!

That would be me!

- Really?
- Really!

So we're idiots
saying idiot things!

- The kings of all losers, right?
- No way!

If we're idiot losers...

Take the idiot's car,now that you've
got you're wife's permission.

Shove that wreck up your ass!

- And she's not "my wife".
- But who married her, I did?

I'm out.
Thanks for my first day of vacation.

Mom, I'm sorry you have to stand
such a terrible monster.

You coward!

You bring disgrace
to the name "Vizureanu"!

Thanks.

- Take these, too.
- No way.

- Leave me alone!
- Wait, son!

You bastard!

Take them!

Despite his faults,
he'd love you to have them.

And what you got there?

A tent.

- Are you taking her camping?!
- Why not?

Camping is nicer.
I've got my bike too.

We'll hunt lions in the woods,
just like Gilgamesh.

You're still a child.

... have a nice time. Bye.

Tell him I'll return the keys
on Monday.

I'm sorry when
I fight with dad.

Forget the god damned keys
and enjoy your time.

Bye.

Come by when you get back.

I'll cook some
dumpling soup for Sofia.

Go home now. Bye!

- Take some photos for us.
- OK.

Drive safely!

Bye!

Fuck off!

Fuck off or I'll break your neck!

I'll kick your ass!

- Give me 2 Lei.
- I'm broke.

- 2 Lei, man!
- Believe me I'm broke.

I need some bread.

Thank you so much.

- What flower is this?
- Romania.

- Is it?
- Orange Guzmania.

- Who is it for?
- A lady.

- Your chick?
- No.

I've got this.
Black calla lily.

- How much is it?
- 100.

The lady's not worth that much.
And this?

50.

- Take 40 and that's it.
- Great handsel. Thanks.

- Who's there?
- Marius.

- Good morning, Coca!
- Good morning!

I hope you like it.

It's so beautiful...

It looks like a lily.

It's called Orange Cozania.

- Cozania?
- Orange.

I'll put it in my room,
I don't have any flowers.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure, I hope it lasts.

- Come on in.
- No. I don't want to be misunderstood.

I don't want Otilia
to say I'm trespassing.

- Come on in, boy!
- No, I'd rather wait here...

Oti's not home.
And Sofica's still sleeping.

Well, if you drag me
like I'm an animal...

What a mess!

How's Sofia?

Still sleeping.
She was sick last night.

After such a long trip...

Didn't you know?

Didn't Oti tell you?

She said she'd call or text you.

- Honor and virtue!
- She's so forgetful.

Yes, she was sick last night.

That shitty plane was late...

- Wait, Coco.
- I'll manage it.

What do you mean she was sick?

She had a fever of 38°C,
she threw up.

We were up all night.
Otilia kept trying to reach you.

Where is Otilia now?
She won't answer my phone.

She went to the beauty parlour
to have her ingrown nail out.

Haven't you got
any message from her?

She won't text me when
she goes to the beauty parlour.

Or if she's involved
in heavy physical activities.

No, I mean about last night.
About Sofia.

She did.

But I've scheduled
this vacation for so long.

She had a year at her disposal
and you come back in last night.

It's shitty to leave her sick girl
alone and go out to have fun.

But the little girl
was feeling better.

- What are you smoking?
- Elektronische Zigarette.

Let's watch Busu, he was saying
the weather would get worse.

You still trust Busu...

They can't have
a forecast for the next hour,

but they pretend to know
the future days ahead...

They're cons.

Super cons.

I have to work
on some important documents.

It's not the denture, I did it myself.
It must be the fixture.

What should I do then?

- When should I get you an appointment?
- Anytime.

Then I'll make it for Monday.

Would it be expensive?

They say: "Cheap things don't
persist, free things don't exist."

- I'll take care of it. I'll pay.
- Thank you.

Welcome.

But the denture is fine.
What the hell, I did it myself!

Thank you for the coffee and cookie.

I'll go to the toilet
to wash...

Once there was this rabbit, Hank...

Strolled around the river's bank

Brought his guitar all along
Just to play a little song

The old fox was watching guard

Taking aim from yet afar

Rabbit Hank would soon be dead
Such a dread, oh, such a dread...

Let me sleep!

Oh, what a hag we've got here...

Are you 100 years old?
Wake up!

- I want to sleep.
- You'll sleep in the car.

Up, little polar bear cup!

Did you hear that?
Wake up, you snoozy Rodentinos!

Wake up!

That's my girl.
Be merciless!

- Do you like the Rodentino family?
- They're great!

Aurel saw them in a window-shop
and I wanted them.

He's Kostas, she's Casandra
and he's Kitzos, their baby.

- And he's Marius the Teeth Boss.
- What?

Marius the Teeth Boss.

You four-eyed monster!

Me, a four-eyed monster?

Give me a kiss, Miss.

A present for you.
Happy birthday!

Do you like it?

What's this?

- An octopus.
- An octopus.

Karakiri was made especially
for you by a great artist.

Look what it says!

S-O-F-I-A.

Do you still have a fever?

Cold as a crocodile!
No fever.

Get dressed
and let's hit the road.

Where are your clothes?

That one was for Halkadiki.

- Is our luggage done yet?
- No.

Let's pack then.

- Where are you going?
- To take a pee.

I'll be here, Sophie.

- The fairy's as healthy as a horse.
- Why did you wake her up?

Who? Me?!

I went to the bathroom
and I heard some noise.

I opened the door and the
little one was already packing.

A Japanese haiku says:

"Without a beloved child,
There is no truth in cherry blossom."

How time flies away!

Washing her diapers and
making tea seem like yesterday.

- Does she still have a fever?
- Not at all. I told you!

I'll go help her up.

Coco, have you seen my
"important documents" folder?

Marius!
They've got him out!

Good girl!

We're in a hurry,
the heck with the gypsy's coffin.

- But why is he lying in a box?
- He's dead.

- What do dead people feel?
- Nothing, it's like sleeping.

So I'm dead when I sleep?

People breathe when they sleep.
But when they're dead, they can't do it.

Why don't they try to?
Are they bored?

They just can't.
They're dead.

Take him far away,
In this world he will not stay!

Is that mummy
at the "Blast" Judgement now?

Or does that come
after the burial?

Who told you about
the Last Judgement?

Mom told me that when people die,

good ones go to Heaven
and bad people burn in Hell.

That's what you discussed
on the Halkidiki beach?

Instead of picking up shells?

No, but where do people
go when they die?

Like Mom said: good people
go to Heaven, bad ones go to Hell.

Where will I go?

Goddamn it Sofia, we're in a hurry.

We'll talk about this
some other time.

I won't go to the seaside
unless you tell me.

Well then,
it's obvious you'll go to Heaven.

Even if I don't listen to you,
mom, Aurel and Granny?

Then things may change.

How about you?

Judging by my ordeals on Earth,
I hope I'll check into Heaven too.

I'll have a little peace
of mind there.

How about mom and Aurel?

Heaven, of course.

Everybody in our family.
Except for an uncle of mine.

Poor guy,
they're taking him away.

- Guess who I've met there.
- Tell me.

A waiter who used to say
"fry" instead of "free".

What do you mean?

I mean "free". Aurel called him
"Fry". He took a photo of him for us.

And we played ping pong at the hotel.

- Is this good?
- Yes.

People usually
swim at the seaside.

They don't play ping pong
or other crap.

- But I like ping pong most.
- I don't.

I'll eat you alive!

I'll tell you a secret. You know what
Aurel and I do when mom's away?

What?

We have a ping pong contest
in the kitchen.

Oh, you rascals!

- Didn't Granny tell on you to Otilia?
- No, the Badger's alright.

Stop hitting me!

She only got mad when
I scribbled the table.

You bet.

I missed you so much
while you were away.

I know. But why you didn't come
to my birthday party?

- It was not possible.
- Why?

I'll tell you when you're older.

I'll tell you lots of things.

Didn't mom let you?
Or didn't you want to come?

Forget about it.

- You know what I sang for my birthday?
- No, tell me.

"Volevo un gatto nero."

- Sing it for me.
- Alright.

I don't remember the rest.
Did you like it?

Of course. What's it called?
"Volvo, volvero"?

"Volevo un gatto nero."

These are for you to draw on.
Because you sang so beautifully.

Thank you. I haven't got some
teeth in a long time.

You know what?

Aurel says I have my music talent
from mommy and Granny.

That's right.

Now I see why Otilia is screaming
like an owl when she gets mad.

Yesterday she yelled at me
about my luggage.

- She yells at you often, doesn't she?
- Yes.

- She also hits you, doesn't she?
- Yes.

How does she hits you?

She spanks me
and she rips my ears off...

- And Aurel hits you too, doesn't he?
- No. He just screams like an owl...

And what does the
goddamn owl rant about?

He gets mad at mommy and Granny
when the lights are on.

What else?

He hates it when I watch cartoons.

What else?
I won't tell him.

He says "Move your ass!" and he makes
me brush my teeth for an hour.

- Did he really say "Move your ass!"?
- Yes, "Move your ass to bed!"

Interesting.

But don't tell him.

He'll get mad and never read
me bedtime stories again.

I won't tell him.

- Promise?
- I do, princess. Give me a kiss.

- How are you feeling, pumpkin?
- Fine.

- Sure?
- I'm sure.

What an entertainer you are!

Your funny face is perfect
for "Buzdugan's Show".

We wish I earned that much.

- Daddy, you know what we played?
- What?

A song.

- How nice...
- So beautiful.

Franzl Lang,
a German guy who's into marches.

- I had no idea...
- Let me show you.

Find it for Marius.

- Sofia, we're in a hurry.
- But it's important.

Will you find it once?

- It's loading.
- We could see it some other time.

Let's go.

Sofia, it's late.

- Say good bye!
- Bye.

I'll put your sandals on.

- What are you doing there?
- We're leaving.

- Right now?
- Now.

- Where are you going?
- To the seaside.

- Far away.
- To the Black Sea in Constanta.

I thought you
were going to the park.

Then call Otilia, she knows
the girl's staying at home.

You call her, my friend, 'cause I'm free
of such humiliating duties.

- I'll call her.
- Knock yourself out.

Do you know what I like, Coca?

Seeing two people respecting
and loving each other.

Well done, kids!

- Her phone's off.
- Don't say!

She's at the beauty parlour,
I told you.

I don't care, she may
be paragliding in Korea.

We kiss you. Goodbye!

You should wait for Otilia.
Sophie could eat something.

I'm not hungry.

Sweetie,
you should wait for mommy!

Coca and us agreed the girl should
stay home, she's sick...

Sick?!

Sofia is healthy
and cheerful.

- Other people are sick, not her.
- But she was nauseous.

God knows what she ate
on that ghost holiday.

Now she's fine,
check her temperature!

It'd be better for all of us
if Otilia were here.

We agreed the girl
should stay home, she's sick.

Who agreed on that?

Coca and I thought
it'd be best...

I don't get it.
You and Coca or you and Otilia?

- Daddy, let me show you!
- Just a minute, sweetie.

So who agrees with whom?

Otilia said the girl shouldn't
leave without her consent.

So Coca and I thought...

Man, don't you see you're mixing
things up even worse?

You keep repeating these three
names, but what I get is:

I'm her father, but you all
decide instead of me.

I want to hear it from you, Cocuta.
Do you decide on my own time without me?

We haven't decided anything.
You must be making an error.

We thought of asking you to postpone
your holiday because the girl was sick.

This sounds more decent, but
you should've informed me.

- We thought Otilia had told you.
- Please, wait for Oti!

- How long?
- An hour at most.

- An hour?
- OK, half an hour.

Alright, professor.

Thank you very much.

I can't believe it, man!

She's getting late, wasting our time.
Let's not be idiots.

"Our folks come, our folks go
We're still idiots, you know."

- Right?
- Yes.

Wait a minute...
Hello!

- We're leaving.
- We're leaving.

Marius, you can't leave. Call her again,
she's her mother. The legal tutor.

Enough, Coca! We've already
ruined the child's holiday.

We can't wait any longer.
Have a nice day!

She's going to be pissed off.
Let me call her again, please.

Wait a minute.

Ten more minutes,
she'll be home soon.

I'm sorry, ladies, but I won't.
Me and Sofia are at our wits' end.

What are you doing, man?

Please wait some more.
Why give us all a hard time?

My friend, you're giving us a hard time,
butting in. Step aside!

Just 15 minutes,
it's not the end of the world.

I swear I would.

I'm afraid of the bloody rush hour
on the Sun Highway.

Look, it's late.

You're playing with fire,
Mr. Capanescu!

- Take your filthy paws off me!
- I'm not allowed to let you go...

I promised Otilia
and I'm a man of honor...

Who do you think you are?
Who gives you the right, asswipe?

- It's not about this.
- You bet your life on it?

Let me tell you what it's all about.

It's about you, a skint prick,

a hobo who sneaked like a rat
in the apartment I paid for.

You only put this English
wallpaper on.

You got your share
after the divorce, and even more.

But what was the Euro
exchange rate then?

What was the price of a flat,
you skinny fart?

Watch your language,
like I do.

- Do you?!
- I do.

Even when you tell my daughter
to "move her ass"?

I never said that.

So she's a liar? Sofia, didn't he
tell you to "move your ass"?

No.

You've scared her to death,
she can't even answer.

Take your hand off me, jerk!

Marius!
You're grown-ups.

I beg you, wait a little more.
I mean it, Sofia was sick.

Enough with this fucking "Potemkim
village", you fuck!

Sofia's all fine!

Show me the "epidemiological
certificate"!

Or do you accountants
know medicine too?

Trust me, she was ill...

Lad, do you have a certificate
of health or not?

- I don't, but she was sick.
- So you don't have one.

Sophie,
ask daddy to wait for mommy!

Hands off my daughter,
you snake!

How dare you touch her,
you filthy bastard?

- What did you just say?
- I said fuck off, psycho!

Who are you calling psycho, you vermin?
In front of my child?!

Hands off!

Stop or I'll call the police!

You fucking cunt!

Let's go, Sofia!

- He cracked your head open.
- Don't cry, Sofia!

Don't cry,
there's no reason to!

I've got another surprise for you.

I've got the bike with us.
We can go riding.

Give me your hand.

Bring her back
or it's going to be nasty!

You'll rot in jail,
you son of a bitch!

Where are you going, Sofia?

Where are you, Sofia?

- Is Sofia here?
- Damn it, Marius, are you both crazy?

Get him some ice.

- He should watch his manners.
- Watch his manners...

- We're fucking grownups, not kids.
- Cool down, Coco.

I'm not going anywhere.

You little mouse!

Why not?

'Cause you're mean and
you beat Aurel!

Excuse me!
Who beat Aurel?

You did.

I didn't.
You got it wrong.

- Yes you did.
- No, it was a misunderstanding.

He wouldn't let you come with me...

Who gives him the right to stop us?!
He was wrong.

Of course, but you shouldn't
have beaten him.

So you see he was wrong.
Let's go, princess!

Let's ride the waves, sweetheart!

I want to stay home with mommy,
Aurel and The Badger.

- I'm not going with you.
- Why not?

Because you're mean.

I'm not mean. I'm good.

Cut it out, Sofia.

Don't you want to go to the seaside?

Don't you want to jump in the waves,
like the baby dolphins on Animal Planet?

- No. Why did you beat Aurel?
- I swear I didn't.

Trust me, he hit himself
against the door.

- Mommy, Marius beat Aurel very hard.
- What?

Don't lie, Pinocchio,
your nose will grow!

Marius punched Aurel
and that's very rude.

You'll grow Pinocchio's nose...

Aurel screamed,
I got scared and started crying.

Your nose is growing!

- Good day, Otilia.
- What happened?

- Absolutely nothing.
- So what are you doing here?

I'm taking the child on holiday.
As it's settled.

- I was invited in and I politely accepted.
- Spare me, mom!

What happened?

- Nothing.
- I'll wash the cherries!

What do you mean, nothing?
Did you fight?

They fought like hooligans...

Marius tried to leave,
Aurel opposed

and Marius slammed the door
against his head.

Mom, go to your room, please.

- Watch out.
- I'll be fine.

- I'll not interfering.
- No reason to.

Marius hit Aurel hard,
so I refused to leave.

Nobody hit Aurel.
Cut off this defamation!

Mr. Banderas here hustled Sofia
and didn't let her go...

I didn't hustle anyone. I just asked
him nicely to wait for you,

because Sophie was feeling sick.

- She's not sick.
- And he wanted to kidnap Sofia.

But I opposed, as we agreed. I was polite,
but he hit me with the door and spat me.

Who, me?

- I was polite all the time, wasn't I?
- No!

He involved Sofia, then he
attacked me like a madman.

It was self-defense.
He started it.

- But you hit him!
- No, baby, I just opened the door.

You're burning.
Let’s get your medicine.

I'm sorry about the incident, chap.

But please
mind your own business!

That's all I'm asking.

'Cause I do mind my own business.

My apologies!

- And we'll watch cartoons...
- I don't believe you.

- I promise. Have I ever lied to you?
- No.

- Go to your room and play.
- A kiss first.

What a mess!
Tidy up, please.

Listen.

Wait, let me explain.

We should buy Nurofen-Cold and Flu.

I'll go.

- And some lemons.
- Could we talk for a bit?

And vitamin C.

Or some tea with vitamin C.
It has both.

- Do you need anything?
- No.

We'll all go shopping
at Kaufland later.

Shall we go to a concert
at Green Hours?

We'll see.

What did the doctor say?
Is the nail purulent?

We'll speak later.

You can leave already.

Right away.
I'll take Sofia and "senete"...

It means: farewell and stay healthy...

You're leaving right now!
Alone.

- What do you mean?
- I mean get lost!

You're only welcome here for Sofia,
but you're being "meshuga".

I'll take Sofia and I'm out.

- Get out now!
- Hands off!

Get out, you asshole!

- You've already ruined my life.
- Calm down!

I'll take Sofia and we
won't bother you anymore.

- You won't take her.
- Why?

Just because.
Fuck off!

The law guarantees me this holiday.

I'll call the police if you don't
respect my constitutional rights!

- You have no more rights!
- How come, gov'nor?!

'Cause you're a bastard
who assaults people.

Nobody assaulted anyone.
Relax.

We're going to the seaside, my fairy.

But mom said we're not going...

Of course we do.
We're already late.

You're not going anywhere!

Daddy's going home now,
he's busy.

Daddy's not busy.
We're leaving right away.

- It's not possible.
- Yes it is.

- No it isn't.
- Yes it is.

- No it isn't.
- Yes it is, it's our right.

Mine and hers,
Sofia Alexandra Elenuca Vizureanu.

- Sofia is sick.
- She seems healthy.

- Get out, you retard!
- See? Mom speaks like the filthiest gypsy.

You must never speak like that!

Not even with Aurel!

- Go watch cartoons.
- But Aurel won't let me.

What's this?

It's a flower. A gift.
Orange Guzmania.

We won't take flowers from you.
Take it and get out.

- My precious, it was a gift for Coca.
- I'll throw it away.

Be my guest.

What are you doing?

Would you be so kind to fuck off?

I won't leave without Sofia.

- Why did you hit Relache?
- I didn't.

He interposed himself in the door's
trajectory. It was self-defense.

What self-defense, you pig?
You're as big as a dirty swine!

He should be more careful
if he's so feeble.

- You slammed the door against his head.
- It's a lie.

Otherwise he'd be picking up
his brain off the door mat.

- Leave or I'll call the police.
- Call the police!

They'd see you won't let me
exert my parental rights.

- Don't you get she's sick?
- She's just fine.

Even if she's sick, I'll give her
some pills, she won't die.

You only care about
your selfish whims.

- You're putting her life in danger!
- There's no danger!

This is the last time to get
to see Sofia. Keep this in mind.

- It is not up to you.
- You'll never see her again!

Only the law decides this,
foxy lady.

Let's see what the law says
about a criminal.

Sofia's my daughter.

The law says I have the legal
right to spend time with her.

- Fiat justitiae pereat mundus!
- We'll see about that.

You always wanted to get me out of her
life. Here's the proof.

Go fuck yourself, you cunt!

Mommy, it's rude to speak dirty.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

Why aren't you watching TV?

I'm hungry.
I'm going to the kitchen.

OK, sweetie, go.

You didn't even let me...

You didn't even let me
see her on her birthday.

- You on her birthday?
- I'm her biological father!

A father doesn't behave
like a brainless thug.

You didn't let me see her
on her birthday, bitch!

But her birthday wasn't on one
of your days.

Go to court.

So I can see Sofia on her birthday
only if it happens to be

on that legal weekend I've got
from that slutty judge...

That's right.
It's not my fault.

You didn't even answer
my phone on her birthday.

I just wanted a little
chat with her.

We were all in the mountains,
no phone coverage.

Sofia had a great time
with her family.

- I'm her family too.
- You're not.

Find yourself a skirt
and have your own children.

Sofia already has a family
and she's happy.

Aurel is nice to her,
she loves him like a real father.

Find yourself a woman...

I'd be surprised though,
you're such an idiot.

You're being terrible to me.

Do you realize what a
perverted mother you are?

I'm not your mother, you see.

It's time for you to grow up.

Look who's talking!

A so-called "father" who didn't even
come to the hospital,

when Sofia almost died
during her appendectomy.

You heartless bitch
have no shame at all.

How was I to know
about the surgery?

You're doing all you can
to keep her away from me.

- What a devious cunt!
- Watch your language!

I'd watch it gladly,
but I haven't got my glasses on.

Leave or I'll call the police.

You'll be in deep shit,
'cause you hit Aurel.

Don't touch me,
you'll take the paint off me.

I'm taking Sofia and
I'll be on my way.

- Don't make me call the police.
- Be my guest.

- I swear to God I'll do it.
- C-A-L-L!

Call the police!

Hello. I'd like to report a case
of domestic violence.

My name is Otilia Neamtu.

I want to report on my ex-husband,
who hit my boyfriend.

- 0722...
- Grab my balls.

... 326 171.

Carol Blvd.

Carol Zephyrinus
von Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen.

Apartment 13, 1st floor,
Intercom 13.

Yes.
He's my ex-husband.

Vizureanu. Marius Emanuel.

- He's not injured, just bruised.
- He's got a bump.

He's not violent anymore,
but he won't leave.

I never was violent.

You've asked for it.

No problem.
You may even call the KGB.

- I'm innocent.
- Yes, right.

I can't wait to see your alibi
when the police comes.

You think you can fool them?

Cut the crap and call the police!

I just did,
they should be here soon.

Call them and tell them not to come.
Tell them it was a bad joke.

- What, the police is coming?
- Yes.

Mommy called them
to put me in jail and beat me up.

- Do you want that?
- No, I don't.

He's not going to jail,
they'll just have a little talk.

Watch out, it's hot.

Tell them not to come!

- It's impossible now.
- It's not impossible.

Just call them and tell them
it was a joke.

And I promise Sofia
and I will leave soon.

You're super-ridiculous.

Please call!

We don't wash our
dirty laundry in public.

- Explain her, Relache!
- No, I've had enough.

Call them,
don't do this shit to me!

Watch your language in
front of Sofia!

Let's go have a chat.

- I'm busy.
- Please.

I'm begging you on my knees,
call them!

It's silly, don't you see?

If you're innocent,
there's nothing to be afraid of.

I'll need their report anyway,
to use it in court.

Do you think I'll just sit
with my hands crossed?

- And do what?
- The right thing.

You'll get a restriction order
for being violent.

- Me?
- Who else?

Am I dangerous
just because I love this child?

We'll find a solution.

Just like the security won't let
you approach the kindergarten.

You fucking pest!

Wonderful!
You'll get busted for verbal abuse too.

- Sofia, go to your room!
- Don't fight!

- Go to your room!
- Don't scream!

You sleazy bitch!

- Fuck you, rotten cunt!
- Are you crazy?

What do you want, scum?

You want to see me in the nuthouse?

You want to destroy me, skank!

Hell if I'll let you!

- Call them, call the cops!
- No I won't!

Eat this, you fucking tramp!

- Eat this, tart!
- Calm down!

Get the fuck out!

Get out!

Wait! Please!

Stop it!

- Mommy! Mommy!
- Oh, my darling!

You're scaring the child!

You call the cops, eh?!
To lock me up?!...

Leave me alone!

Get out, you evil slut!

Get out or I'll kill him!

I'll behead him if you don't leave!

Oh my God, you're insane!

Shut up! Shut it!

Get out of here!

Calm down, Marius!

Get out!

You've gone over the top!

What are you doing?

Get out!

Damn it, are you mad?

Get the hell out of here!

I'll call them not to come!

- What happens here?
- Stay in there with Sofia!

Stop it, please!

Shut up, I won't hurt him!

- Stop it!
- I'm just tying him up.

Behave yourselves, both of you!
I won't hurt you!

Don't move!

- I'm calm!
- Now get out!

Wait here!

- Leave me alone!
- Get out!

You call the police...
To get me busted...

To destroy me...

- Let them come!
- Calm down, I beg you!

Let's see who opens the door
for them!

Are you mad?
You've lost it!

- Forgive me!
- Stay here, please.

I'll go as soon as the cops leave.
Don't push me!

You're digging your own grave!

You're making things
worse for you!

The cops will knock down the door
and you'll get jailed.

I won't! They don't have a warrant!
Do you think I'm stupid?

Have you all lost your mind?

You're all educated people!
You're not animals!

Stay there with Sofia, mom!

Stay in Sofia's room!

Stay out of this!

Stay here with Granny,
we'll go to the seaside in no time.

The Apocalypse is near!

- Untie Aurel!
- In a minute. As soon as I leave.

- You're making it worse!
- Stay there!

Sofia, stay in your room!

Cool down, my friend!
Everything's fine!

Wait here for 5 minutes!

- Are you OK, Aurel?
- He's fine, don't worry.

- Set Aurel free!
- Go to the living room!

You jerk!

You've gone mental, asshole!

Sit down!

God forbid!

As you wish.

I did my best for you to have
a decent relationship with Sofia.

What a surprise!

Yes, Mr. Ironic!
I did it for her own good.

So she could see her real father
from time to time.

"From time to time."
This says it all.

But I realize you're a worthless,
wreckless moron.

What have I done wrong?

Take this little girl to the seaside?
To give her a moment of joy.

She's very sick,
she needs to stay in bed.

She has a bit of a cold.
Cut this soap opera crap!

If she were so sick,
you should have a certificate.

- Maybe I've got one.
- Show it to me.

You'll see it in court!

Don't you think I'm able to get
a medical certificate?

You're the most despicable
whore I've ever seen!

- Go on.
- And the most ruthless cow!

- You're making the judge's life easier.
- The filthiest bitch!

The biggest misfortune of my life!

It makes me puke to think
I loved such a devious slime.

Don't lie, you never loved me.

I never loved you?!
You stupid bitch.

I loved you madly...
I'd have died for you!

I was stupid not to see
what a sleaze you were.

No way I would have had
a child with you.

That's the difference:
you regret having a child, I don't.

- I love Sofia.
- I love her too, stop this soap opera!

If you loved her,
you wouldn't be messing around.

Giving her a hard time
when she's sick!

All I wanted was to raise
my little child in a normal family...

But you had to
shag this miserable scribbler...

Then you should've acted like a family
man, not like a teenage retard.

I was involved.

I did my best until two years ago,
when you...

Enough!

... when you started banging
Mr. Capanescu.

- You fucked up our family!
- You know it's not true!

It is true, 'cause love is blind...

You sacrificed everything for this dumbass
and now you're destroying Sofia.

It's not true! Aurel came into my
life after we broke up.

Keep on lying.
Wasn't he your accountant?

So what? This doesn't mean
anything, you moron.

I don't have to explain
myself to you.

Do I look like a buyer?
To buy your lies?

You're dull and boring.

If you had loved me,
you'd have understood me.

That's why I fell for Aurel.

Finally somebody
was treating me like a woman.

He realized how unhappy
I was with you.

You've let the cat out of the bag!
"I was unhappy"? "I was"?!

God, you're so stupid!

It means you were
already shagging him!

Otherwise you'd have said
"I had been unhappy"

You gave yourself away!

Lapsus linguae.

- I don't get it.
- No wonder.

You need a brain.

Haven't you thought
this poor baby needs a father?

Spare me!

How often did you take her
to the park when we lived together?

Quite often.

How often
did you change her diapers?

If you're a good father,
I'm Nadia Comaneci!

Bullshit!
Coca did all your work.

Shame on you,
selfish monster!

- Why are you yelling?
- 'Cause you are foul!

And regarding your touchy issues:

Who made money for our home,
you dumbfuck?

Who bathed Sofia
in tea every night?

I earned the money and...

Shut up, don't move,
or I'll tie you up too!

- Coca!
- The intercom is ringing.

- Wait there.
- Let me answer for God's sake.

When the cops leave,
I'll go.

Stay there!

- Answer!
- Shut up!

- Why don't you answer!
- Shut up!

Let me answer!
It's Maricica with my medicine!

It's mine. Give it to me!

- Hand me my phone!
- Here you are!

What are you doing?

- You're completely psycho!
- I'll buy you a new one.

What a moron!

God!
You're making a big mistake.

Come back to me!

Please, let's get back together.

- What? Stop it!
- Please! Forever!

Have you gone mad?
Cut it out!

- I need you so much!
- Leave me alone.

Enough! You've lost it!

I love you
and our little girl so much!

All my misery comes from
my mad love for you both!

This is not how
a loving man acts.

This is how a desperate man acts,
torn by love.

I love you and
Sofia more than anything.

Please, get rid of this
skinny shitbag!

"We'll burn our past of fear and of shame
On my pyre of joy you've lit up in flame"

You're not capable
of living with me.

I will be
Let's get back together.

Impossible!

We're both more mature.

Together we could reach the stars!

I never told you this before.

I love you,
my beloved seal!

I love you and I beg you!

- Please, will you take me back?
- It can't be, Marius.

Why not?
Think about it.

I told you to stay there.

- God, look at his bruises!
- He's fine.

- You're a complete idiot!
- Stop yelling!

Take a seat.

- Where are you going?
- To get some ice.

I'll get it.
Stay here.

Don't keep him on the
floor like an animal.

- Is it better here?
- Are you ok, Aurel?

Better than he deserves.
Get on the couch!

Is your head hurting? Your teeth?
Do you want to throw up?

Leave me alone!

- Let him go, Marius!
- I don't trust you two.

We got it, you're crazy,
but let him go!

If you don't behave as I say,
I'll tie you up too.

Otilia, I swear to God!

You forced me to tie him up.

You call the cops to take me
away from my baby girl?

What's that for?

Sit down!
It hurts more if you move.

See, you fucking cow?

You had to call the
fucking police.

- Let me go, man!
- Calm down!

I told you not to call the cops!

Calm down. Don't panic.

Here's your fucking custody!

Look at me!

Are you satisfied?

Nobody answer!

You'll be in deep shit
if you don't answer.

Shut the fuck up!

- It's serious.
- They'll be gone soon.

They won't.

Your choice.

I'll tell them it was a joke.

No.

- I'll pay the fine. It's better this way.
- Shut it!

- Forgive me, Marius!
- No.

It's better if I tell them...

- You could come with me.
- No! Shut up!

Leave her alone!

Take all our money,
but leave us!

Please!

Shut up!

- What's happening?
- I'm taking a pee.

What's happening?

Don't move, you'll break your hand.

Enough!

I'm coming in!

Are you mad?
What are you doing?

- Stay out of this!
- But what's happening?

Come here!
Stop yelling!

My arm hurts!

Why is mommy on the floor?

- What are you doing, Marius?
- We're playing, sweetie.

Stay there!

Stop it, Marius!

I'll lock you up for a while.

Stay here!

Keep Sofia in, so that I can
have a talk with Otilia.

Marius, open the door!

I see you won't behave, my friend.

I'm sorry, I have no choice.

You've forced me to tie you down.

It was all your fault
I have no choice.

I've had enough of this humiliation.

What have I done to you, people?
Why fuck me up like this?

Why do you want to destroy me?
Why can't we get along?

Fuck them!

Fuck you!

I'm sorry.

- I want some hot cocoa, Marius.
- Just a minute.

- Are you done yet?
- Sure. Once the police leave, we'll go.

- Where's the police?
- There's a car outside.

I don't want them to put
you in prison.

They won't take me away, sweetie.

They'll leave because
we won't open the door.

We won't open and we'll
have some hot cocoa.

- Did you leave them alone?
- After the cops go away...

I apologize, things got out of hand.
It's not my fault.

You could've listened to Aurel.
It wouldn't have been such a disaster.

I would have if he had been polite.

Why should I waste my own time?

It's a matter of principle.
I don't mind their business.

- Why should they mind my own?
- I don't mind, but...

I know, that's why
we can talk heart to heart...

What you're doing is not right.

You should get along with each other.

You know I'm very ill...

- Don't cry, Coca!
- Don't cry, Badger!

I'll soon be dead and it breaks my
heart to leave you hating each other.

You can't be friends, but at least
you could be acquaintances.

For this little angel
to have a normal life.

That's exactly what I wanted.

Look!
I even have "death flowers".

I know. Forgive me.

I also wanted a normal life
for Sofia.

Then why did you beat them
and tie them down?

They are not animals!

Believe me.
I had no choice.

You said you were into peace and
Buddhism, into Dalai-Claca...

But even Dalai Lama admits
sometimes you have no choice

and you must use violence!

Even Jesus whipped
the money changers at the Temple.

Do you think I like
to see my daughter like this?

Don't be silly, make peace
with them!

I'll make peace.
But later.

I'll go calm Oti down.
She'll trust me, I'm her mother.

I know. You'll speak to her later.

Sit down. Please.

I'm very disappointed at you.

I've always treated you kindly.

I'm sorry I’ve disappointed you,
I had no choice. Stay out of this!

- I want hot cocoa.
- Sure.

I'm going out.
Do you promise me to stay here?

I'm not gonna lock the door.
Can I trust you?

Go make up with them!

I will.
But please don't go out.

I'll take care of it, don't worry.

Why is mom tied up like that?
And Aurel?

We're just playing, sweetie.

You're having a fight,
this is not a game.

And I don't like this game.

It's a game for grown-ups.
Ask them.

But I don't like it.
Don't you get it, dummy?

Watch your mouth
or you'll get punished!

- Apologize!
- I'm sorry!

Sofia, pay attention.

I'll tell you some serious things.

- Listen carefully and don't forget them.
- OK.

You know from kindergarten men
can't give birth. It's true.

So it's your mom
who gave birth to you.

She almost died
because of the caesarian.

But I was the one who washed you
and wiped your butt.

I took you out and fed you,
I put you in the go-cart.

I played with you the most.

I woke up to give you water.

I taught you good manners.

I was actively involved in all your baths
since your were born.

I taught you beautiful poems,
grammar and maths.

I bought you toys and clothes.

Your mother also took care of you.

But less than me.

Only sometimes.

One day your mom got together
with this thing, Aurel.

With this human waste.

Fell in love, what can I say!

You need to hear the painful truth
about your mom.

The truth I've hidden until now,

because I wanted to protect
her from dirty lies.

Listen carefully.
Your mom is a bloody whore.

- What?
- A bloody whore. Remember this!

She threw your dad out of your life.

With the help of justice
and giving bribes.

I had my problems,
of course.

I was unemployed and depressed.

I couldn't afford all you needed.

And what did your mom do?

When I was having
a major depression?

Did she stand by me,
as a loving wife?

No. Your mommy treated me
like shit and left me.

She didn't stay with me, like she
had sworn to God, in church.

You also betrayed Jesus Christ,
not only me!

Do you know how my soul
is suffering?

Imagine my soul
torn apart at night!

When I'm away from Sofia
thoughts and dreams torment me.

Burglars breaking into this house,

this pervert sneaking into Sofia's
room, having his way with her.

Stop playing innocent, buddy!

I know what a sinister pervert
like you can do. Wanker!

Aren't you ashamed for destroying
an innocent man's family?

Aren't you?
Invader!

What's that?

An evil man.

Do you know, Sofia,
what Mr. Aurel is to us?

An unscrupulous bum,
a slime and a piece of shit.

... who sleeps like a king in our
house, on our couch.

You feel good, playing with my
little girl in my house!

Of course, she's not a baby anymore.
No need to change her diapers.

It's not hard to take care of her
how, like in the first years...

You fucking retarded chimp!

Listen to me!

If you come between me and
my family again,

I swear I'll kill you
like a chicken.

I swear to God that if you ever
touch Sofia or Oti

I'll slit your throat.
Clear?

Sofia, I want you to know
that I'll be here,

to help you with your needs
and troubles.

If you need help,
I'll be the one to help you.

You know what?

- Do you want a mobile phone?
- No!

I'll buy you a mobile phone, so you can
call me when you need me.

You just call and daddy shows up!

I'm officer Paul Cioran
from the Romanian Police.

Don't forget: even if I divorced
Otilia, I didn't divorce Sofia.

Keep this in mind,
forever and ever. Amen!

- Mommy, I want hot cocoa.
- I'll make you some.

But I want mommy to do it.

- You broke all these!
- You're right.

Then buy us some new ones!

- I'll buy some.
- When?

When I get my salary.

Why are you crying?

- Is this good?
- Yes.

Look, this is broken.

Yes, mommy broke it.

I bought it, others break it.

Easy!

- Do you like it?
- Yes.

I'll tell you something,
between the two of us.

- Two?
- Two. You and me.

First, nobody in this world
loves you more than I do.

- Not even mommy?
- Nobody.

- Not even The Badger?
- No.

Second, in five years' time,
when you are ten,

I'll go to court again!

So you could tell everyone you
want to live with me.

I want to stay here, with mom,
Aurel and The Badger.

We'll visit mom and The Badger.

But you'll be living with me.
We'll have fun all day long.

You'll do whatever you please.

But I don't want to!

We'll see about that.

You'll grow up and see
things differently.

Wait here!

Open the door!

If I release you,
don't say a word about it!

I'll untie only you to talk to them.

They won't believe you.

What joke?

I don't trust you.

Don't be afraid!
Wait here.

Count to 100 and then
go unlock The Badger.

No money for me?

- 100 Lei for you.
- I'm so rich!

It's all yours.

- Are you leaving now?
- No, I'll just go to the bathroom.

Don't forget to unlock The Badger!

Bye. I love you.

Fucking shit!

Hello. Excuse me.
Could I...

Fuck you, bitch!

Fucking cunt!

Mrs. Iacob!

Mrs. Iacob! Do you hear me?
Call somebody!

Fuck! You fucking cunt!

What are you doing there,
you retard?

May the devil fuck your lungs!

Hello.

- What happened? A fight?
- No. An accident.

Hello. I'd like a patch
for my broken brow.

Mommy! A serious emergency!

Mom is coming.

Oh, my God!

My brow's broken.

- You got in a fight?
- No, I fell of the stairs.

I was holding my bike and
I stumbled upon something.

I hit my head against the rail.

- Hold this.
- Sure, babe.

- What happened, Sir?
- A bloody accident.

Please step aside, Sir...

You must go to the hospital
to get stitches.

Yes, I know.

- A sedative? You're shaking.
- No, thanks.

I would like some water.

- Bring some water.
- Sure, babe.

Hold it like this.

Bandage!

Thanks.

- You must go to the hospital.
- Yes.

My eye!

Another bandage!

Everything alright?

- Do you have a real cigarette?
- Of course.

Rise up and walk, Lazarus!

Thanks.