Original subtitles

Here.

Today's lunch.

You want something else?

A doughnut?

Scotch tape!

Bird-watching?

What-watching?

Back in samurai days, it was an execution ground.

It was the middle of summer, but I felt cold chills.

'I don’t like this,' I thought, and turned to go back...

...but my foot wouldn't move.

It was like a hand had reached up out of the ground and grabbed me.

And right then...

...I heard a voice from behind me, going...

...'Give me water!

'I'm burning!'

What are you doing?

Nothing.

'Give me water!

'I'm burning!

'Give me water!'

It was like a voice straight out of hell.

Isn't that scary?

Not very.

That's because you're so dense.

That's why you walk around without realizing your dick's out.

I'm beat!

Food...Food...

There's oden left, huh?

No.

You ate it all?!

I tossed it.

You what?!

It smelled weird.

Your nose is weird.

More than your nose, lately.

Your head, your body...

It's not summertime. Oden won't go bad.

Hey...

Take over for a while.

What?!

I'm sick.

I've been doing manual labor since before dawn, you know!

Not just sitting here spaced out like you.

I want to rest my ass off!

Then I’m ordering in.

Sushi.

The good stuff.

You don't know who’s had that. It's dirty.

Nothing that’ll make you sick.

It might. Germs cause disease, you know.

No one ever got sick from a used book.

Still, they’re filthy!

He’ll hear you!

There might be someone's snot on that.

No way!

One I bought had snot on it in about ten places!

You're lying!

No, really!

Anyway, who cares? The books are cheap.

And so are you. Look, I'll pay the difference.

Ow!

There’s a bug in my eye...

Let me see.

Thanks.

That’s not a bug.

It's snot!

That old man who cleans on the second floor...

Yes...

I've never actually seen him drinking...

...but he smells of alcohol, and he staggers.

While I'm working...

You don't drink?

No.

And before work?

Not right before.

How long before?

About an hour.

That sounds like 'right before' to me...

You're working hard.

Hello.

Isn’t this Mrs Yoshikawa's area?

Yes.

That's right...

Look.

Gum.

It's been there for a while. It's like rock.

How could you just ignore that? She doesn't take the job seriously.

That's not true...

Yes, it is.

Sure, her husband owned a company, but it went broke.

Well, it's good we've got someone like you to help out...

...even if it's someone else's area.

Thank you.

You're the only one on earth who says nice things to me.

Oh, yes...

We’ve formed an association to find you a wife.

What do you mean?

A man as nice as you is too easily taken in.

That girl in the office, um...

Ms Umezawa?

Her. She's after you.

No, she isn’t!

You miss a lot, don’t you.

Or maybe you just pretend to.

That's not true.

I see...

Yes...

Here he is.

It's Mr Shiojiri.

Komori speaking.

I'm still at head office. The meeting's not finished yet.

Could you interview that woman for me?

Yes, sir.

Take care of it.

Do you have that woman’s resume?

Yes.

Kinoshita, Akari

She's quite pretty.

Yeah, I guess so.

But she has a negative aura.

Could youse be getting the Tower in wit' us?

Me lens...

I'm sorry.

You meant that.

You be thinking we’s a pair o' hicks!

That phony shaking...

You meant that!

I'm sorry!

So much for her.

I'm sorry.

Are you OK?

Yes.

Your nose is bleeding...

Use that tissue paper.

Shall I help?

I'm fine.

War and Peace

Lately...

...I thought I'd read a world classic like this one.

But it's so damn long, and there’s too many themes...

Can you suggest...

...a book that might leave you with a feeling of human growth?

Hey...

Want to go to Disneyland?

With you?

Back in samurai days, it was an execution ground.

It was the middle of summer, but I felt cold chills.

'I don’t like this,' I thought, and turned to go back...

...but my foot wouldn't move.

It was like a hand had reached up out of the ground and grabbed me.

Just as I was struggling as hard as I could...

...I heard a voice from behind me, going...

...'Give me water!

'I'm burning!

'Give me water!'

It was like a voice straight out of hell.

Sometimes you're afraid to turn around...

...but you’re afraid not to turn around, too.

So I said 'to hell with it' and I turned around.

And right then...

Learn from your son, Eitaro.

Life's more fun when you're an idiot.

Just like you planned, huh?

Next time I'm calling the police.

Got you going, huh?

My heart damn near stopped.

You’re crazy, you know that?

You haven't seen this one.

It's great.

Who's she?

I don't know.

You can't do that! That’s against the law!

Oh, come on!

Wow!

What are you so quiet about?

You’re bringing us down.

Well...

...I’ve had enough of this.

Sorry, but I quit.

We both turn 30 next year.

We can't keep playing these kids' games forever.

Sakamoto Ryoma, Mozart... they’d done great things by now.

I'll be going.

'Night.

Good night.

Oh...

...this is good for dusting your books.

Our company makes them. This one was left over.

Who's a two-bit clerk to talk?

Who does he think he is?

Being treated as a kid has bugged me ever since I was a kid.

Mozart! Yeah, sure!

Messing with my head gives me a headache.

There's some aspirin up in that top drawer.

Could you get if for me?

This?

I don’t do this just for fun, you know.

It's work, that's what it is.

Work?

Yeah.

Well, work in the future, maybe.

So what I do now...

...is like experiments, or research.

But is there such a thing as a job scaring people?

Yes.

A haunted house.

But not just one to fool kids, like at an amusement park.

One that will literally scare people to death.

Ultra-hardcore. Ultra deluxe.

And finally...

...we’ve had two people injured by used needles this month alone.

So assume there might be sharps in the trash, and be careful.

And this is Ms Kinoshita Akari. She's starting today.

Please...

My name is Kinoshita. How do you do.

Have a good day at work.

You look funny.

You look silly.

Our apologies. Today...

Our apologies. Today this store will be closed.

This infected medical waste goes directly into these boxes.

Ms Mizuno, if you would demonstrate...

Just like that.

Let's see you try it.

All right.

I'm sorry...

Hey...

I thought...

...after how he'd tormented me...

...it would be educational.

'Educational'?

And does a full-grown man always carry things like these?

You just like scaring children, that's all.

Is scaring people that much fun?

You’re a degenerate.

If this trauma makes him a criminal some day...

...will you take responsibility?

Mr Kurita's worried. He says you might be sick at heart.

Are you?

Have you eaten?

No.

Shouldn’t you?

I'm fine.

I'm going to make some spiced tofu.

I'll make some extra. You can heat it up if you want.

Now, that looks good!

That fish-paste sausage.

Have one.

I was hoping you'd ask.

Why are you watching that old lady?

I know!

You're a killer.

From a secret society planning to wipe out the homeless.

No!

Like Golgo 13.

Am I next after her?

For assassination?

I'm sorry I said that.

Go show her these pictures.

That's you.

Let's dance!

Come and dance!

How can you look at that stuff and eat at the same time?

Real bears aren't cute little things like this.

They’re big, and scary.

You're not like that, are you. You're cute!

Real bears have big fangs, like this!

You’ll traumatize her!

It’ll be your fault if she ends up some druggie prostitute.

Everybody and their damn traumas!

Dad's in bad shape.

He should see a doctor.

Absolutely not, he says.

What's that?

Himeji Castle.

It might take your mind off things.

You like castles.

I hope he doesn't try anything.

Like what?

What?

Like suicide...

Hey!

He won't...

No, he won't!

Sorry. That's my phone.

Hello?

Was that today?

We'll be waiting.

He'll be right here.

You should have called him this morning!

Teruo's a flake.

You're useless!

Leave him alone, Toshi . It's Teruo's fault, not his.

Sorry.

Sorry Antoinette.

Eat up.

Hurry it up, will you?

And...action!

I ate a cat.

I will always bear that sin.

Sorry about what I said.

That's OK.

You’re building a haunted house?

By despising me, you've kindled my ambition.

When I succeed, when I'm rich and famous...

...and you suffer, inferior and alone...

...remember it was your scorn that got me going...

...and eat your heart out.

Anyone starving will eat a cat if there's a cat in front of them.

The cat is not dead.

As you have eaten it, it is your flesh and blood...

...and lives on within you.

And what a fine Journey this has been!

Beautiful scenery, warm hearts, good food...

It's been everything a trip should be!

I'll never forget this trip.

Stop laying around watching TV and take a trip somewhere!

See ya!

When a Family Member is Sick at Heart

That's ¥600.

Would you like covers?

Yes, please.

I haven't seen you in the store for a while.

You remember me?

I was afraid you wouldn’t, or I'd have said hello.

Will you be working here again?

Just while my father has a break.

With my brother.

Say hello.

Here.

Thank you.

It's good.

What's wrong with this thing?

Don't break it.

It's brand-new.

This is a nuisance!

I’ve managed fine so far without ever writing...

...anything as stupid as a business proposal.

Entry-Level Business Proposals

Right! Let's do this.

I need more.

I wouldn’t do that.

Sugar’s the best thing there is to get your brain working.

It's brain fuel.

Yeah, but...

I’m using parts of my brain I don’t normally use.

So I need extra help.

Don't be so cheap.

I'm acting in your damn film for free!

Pay me my billion trillion yen!

No, cardboard on cardboard.

You peeping-tom!

So she’s your type?

What do you mean? I'm just concerned.

She seems to be taking a while to catch on.

Excuse me.

You're doing fine.

Get the elevator.

I'll bet you're the first person who ever broke a finger...

...pushing an elevator button.

Be careful, OK?

Take the rest of the day off.

Ms Umezawa says...

...she was all muddy and bleeding at her interview.

Yes.

Why did you hire her?

Subconsciously, you're afraid people won’t like you.

So you pretend to be a nice guy, and go easy on everyone.

Come in.

This, this haunted house...

...will be, in effect, a revolution in the global standards...

...of the amusement industry...

...that will be...

...um ...

This project will be the ultimate...

Thank you.

A great, revolutionary, revolution.

Teruo...

Yes?

I have no children.

You're more a son than a nephew.

More than a nephew, not quite a son.

But...there's nothing here.

To be honest...

...I didn't expect business-class quality from you, anyway.

But that doesn't matter.

The problem is, there's no passion here.

If there's no passion, it won't excite anyone.

A young man can do nothing without fire in his eyes.

Your only weapon...

...is strength born of desperation.

Surprised?

Yeah.

Astonish me that way.

Have you ever yet staked your life on something?

My life?

Yes. Have you done even one thing...

...you were willing to die trying?

Probably not.

Show me that in you.

Then I'll give you all the money you want.

Wipe here.

All right.

Who's got a scraper?

Anyone?

That.

That's called a 'scraper'.

It's a miracle it didn’t break.

That machine is very expensive.

Um...

I'll resign.

You will?

Thank you.

I want to create a very real haunted house...

...with virtual-reality ghosts.

That's really something.

So I think first I have to see an actual ghost.

You said your aunt runs a building with a haunted apartment...

There was a family suicide...

Could you get me in there for one night?

You throw salt to ward off evil.

Thank you.

I'll be on my way.

But do you really need to do this to make a haunted house?

Mr Otawara, have you ever staked your life on anything?

To do something big, you have to be prepared to die.

Teruo!

I've been wrong about you. I thought you were a flake.

Never doing anything, always complaining...

...quitting when things got hard...

...happy to bad-mouth people, furious when they bad-mouth you...

...and...

OK.

I get the picture.

But now I respect you.

You’re very brave.

Well, I'll be on my way.

They say the ghost appears about 3 a.m.

'Night.

There.

I think it’ll work now.

I killed him.

Great! Just like an electrician!

Anyone could fix it. It was just a loose screw.

But you're...

...really nice!

Most people wouldn't fix an old lady's video deck...

...expecting nothing in return...

You’re the only one I know.

You're one of the three nicest people I've ever met!

I'm not all that nice.

I'm 'Mr Nice Guy'.

The other day Mr Shiojiri said...

...I just pretend to be nice.

He's just jealous. People like you more than him.

This is excellent.

How I hate a flatterer!

I'll do the rest of those eggs.

I should be going...

No! We drink till dawn.

I’ll miss my last train.

I'll pay your taxi.

Yes, but...

...we have to work.

So what?

I won't rape you.

I've graduated from that. It's too much trouble.

I’ve risen above it.

I'm like that writer who became a Buddhist nun.

You know, Setouch Jakucho.

Vows...

What are you doing?!

Vows!

Careful!

I'm taking vows!

FINE, TOTALLY FINE

'It really really really is a lion!

'Fuj Safari Park!'

Happiness...

...depends on how you look at life.

Take this glass, for example.

From the top it looks round, but from the side it's a rectangle.

So in the end, happiness...

Demons begone!

Buddha, save me!

Demons begone!

Demons begone!

Buddha, save me!

Out with the demons!

Demons, outside!

Ghost!

They put her in a home.

You want her dolls?

Homeless?

Yes. Catching fish to eat, the two of them.

So now she's homeless?

She’s not suited to work.

It's so nice to be alive!

The water seeps into your pores...

...and makes your whole body dance!

I wish I could just melt into this water.

Wouldn't you like to...

It's Komori, from the Clinic.

I'm sorry to bother you...

Yes?

Well...

...I heard a rumor...

...you were having trouble.

Here. This is for you.

Here.

There’s lots of stuff in there.

You’d better have the sushi and the cheesecake first.

The rest of it won’t spoil.

Excuse me.

Um...

So you're still unemployed?

You're turning it off?

You might not like it.

No, I do.

I like rain.

Sometimes when I wake up and it’s raining...

...I feel very relaxed.

You like books...

A friend has a used-book store. You can get them cheap from him.

Whenever they get a strike...

...they all go like this.

I hate that.

It doesn't have to be bowling. I just think you should get out.

You really don't believe I saw a ghost, do you.

Well, would a real ghost say 'ghost!' like that?

That's what it said!

Since then...

Maybe a hot spring would drive it away.

Let's go to one.

I can't afford it.

I'll put out.

What?

The money.

Forget it.

I’ll pay.

I don't want your sympathy! Stop looking down on me!

Now, listen...empty your mind.

Don't think about the ghost.

I can't empty my mind.

OK, then fill your head with something else.

Something else?

Like...

...love.

What’s this?

This thing's all batter.

They're cute.

You think so?

Are you a man? Don't you ever get a hard-on?

I’m not attracted to their personalities.

How can you tell by just looking at them?

That’s just another way of going by appearances.

So which one of us hits on them?

You're the one talking about love.

I was a Stoic till you got me started.

Hold this.

No personality.

So what's your blood type?

That's ¥800. Would you like a cover?

You've got till month-end for that.

Yeah, but I need this for some other stuff.

Um...

...that place, 'El' something...

'El something'?

The new Mexican place.

Oh, in the station building?

You said let’s go there when it opens...

Yeah...

That's today.

Oh yeah?

50 percent off. It’ll be packed.

30.

Yeah?

And I’ve eaten.

You have?

Just junk food. Too much of t.

Sorry. Maybe next time.

OK.

I'll see you.

Good night.

Well, that’s a relief. So you like women, then...

Thank you.

I should do it faster...

Don’t worry.

No one here’s in a hurry.

You're fine.

So what's your sign?

Getting used to it?

A bit.

Akari's doing fine.

You're friends already?

I thought we’d be casual from the start...

...and save having to change later.

You brought in someone good.

Thanks.

Akari's been teaching me things.

This weird old literary-type lady...

...wanted something-or-other by Ibuse Masuji...

...and Akar knew it was something-or-other publishers...

...and everything about it.

I guess you have to like books to do this job.

Teruo's father may have a bookstore, but Teruo hates reading.

No, I don't.

I love literature...sort of.

Yeah? You used to get me to write all your book reports.

I like books!

You know, for a long time I've thought...

...this store was kind of drab.

Mind your own business.

Why not put up some pictures?

We can’t afford pictures.

How about Ms Kinoshita’s?

Like it was a gallery. You could sell them.

Um...

OK.

You look like newlyweds.

Hey! Watch it, will you?

Is Eitaro still sending postcards?

What?

Postcards from Eitaro.

Yeah, every day...

Show me.

Happiness

Fulfillment

Fascination

Recovery

Bliss

Relief

Joy

Hope

Restoration

Oh, yeah...

This one just arrived.

Love

So he's got a girlfriend?

At his age! It's embarrassing.

It’s better than him going crazy the way he was.

He's still crazy.

If he's happy, who cares?

I'll finish this. You take a break.

What’s gotten into you lately?

I’ve got to buckle down.

I can't get married if I don't. I'm 30 next year.

You want to go full-time, then?

You mean I’m not full-time now?

No.

But what about the store?

I'll let my wife run it.

'Wife'?

A wife who likes books.

You mean...

'Future wife'.

Who is she?

Does it matter?

What?

Tell me!

What?

When?

Never mind!

I know I said you never have to rush...

...but with the porn magazines it's best to get done...

...as quick as you can.

It's an uncomfortable time.

Act like a vending machine. Don't show any feeling.

Don't look at the customer.

But don’t deliberately look away.

Act like you’re looking at them, but never meet their eyes.

Look at their nose.

That’s too close to the eyes. Look at the jaw.

That's ¥750.

¥750 exactly.

I'll see if we have another copy.

That’s OK...

No, no...

But...

Here it is! The same one.

Um...

Yes?

Are these pictures for sale?

Yes.

No.

They’re not worth paying for.

Did you do these?

Yes.

If you ever feel like selling one, sell it to me.

Hi.

I just saw a celebrity.

Filming something, by the drug store.

She used to be in a commercial for barbecue sauce.

What's her name?

Almond-shaped eyes, big wide ones...

A husky voice...

Um, could you...

...watch the store for a minute?

Uh, sure.

But they're probably done by now.

Do you want her to sign that?

I wouldn’t.

She didn’t look very friendly.

Um...

Did you see a man about this tall...

...with long hair, sort of curly...

...and a bag with a strap like this?

With a red face?

Thank you.

Here.

Are you sure...

...you don't mind?

How much?

No, it’s free. That's fine.

But...

What a cute dog.

Male or female?

It's not mine.

Oh.

It’s male.

Do dogs eat fish sausage?

Fish sausage?

Probably.

Hang on a bit.

Do you always carry fish sausage around?

I like fish-paste.

So you like it boiled, too?

And fish-paste cakes?

And fried?

Yes.

Wow!

Fish-paste...

But I like the sausages best.

I like fish sausages, too.

Would you like some?

No, no, that's fine...

Well...

It's good.

This is the second time this year I’ve had this finger bandaged.

From a dog?

I broke it. On an elevator.

You pushed the button and it broke?

Just kidding.

Do you make pots?

I restore them.

Restore them?

I fix broken ones.

No!

Stop!

Stop it!

No!

Stop!

Stop it!

What are you doing?!

Stop!

An Egyptian wrestler.

So that means...

Rikishi...

I need a word starting with 'shi'...

'Sh ', 'shi', 'shi', 'shi', 'shi'...

Right...

Shionbori...'a sad man'.

Let's see...just a minute.

How about this?

How much...

...would you pay for this?

For this?

About ¥1,000?

You got it!

That's about right.

You learn fast.

You can do purchasing, then.

Here we Go Hiromi! Time for a soup break.

Thank you.

You shouldn’t have.

How is it?

It's good.

You're looking prettier lately.

She always did. Shut up, ugly!

Sorry.

But you're different.

Like you’re in love.

What's with you?

Nothing!

Mr Yamato loves the seaside! Today we join him in the salt air.

It's like a poem.

I love this deserted winter seaside.

Hey, there's a good-looking couple.

Let's go talk to them.

Hello, hello! Could we have a word?

So you're wandering with this young lady, writing songs?

Damn, that's romantic!

I hate you!

What kind of songs?

Songs about things I love.

I sing only about those things I love.

Whoa! This sounds like confession time.

A love song to this lady?

No, I'm embarrassed to go that far yet.

Then what else is it that you love?

For example...

...rice.

Rice? The rice you eat?

Don't you like rice? Sure you do!

Uh, yes. I love it.

Then perhaps we could hear a song about rice...

It's Grandpa.

Grandpa.

All I had today for lunch...

...was rice.

All I boiled was rice...

All I ate was rice.

With nothing on the side...

Without soup...

With nothing sprinkled on top...

Eaten alone, rice is so sweet...

Sweeter than...

...chewing gum.

With the power of rice...

Excuse me...

Does this box have the most different colors?

Yes. 85 of them.

I’ll take it, then.

All right.

Could you wrap it as a birthday present?

Certainly.

She's out.

This side...

Let’s change.

Yes, let's do that.

The flame's stronger over here.

So how's the birthday fish-paste?

Of everything I've ever eaten in my life...

...this is the best.

You’re exaggerating.

No, I'm not.

Your own medicine, your own fish sausage...that's great.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

If your birthday's in two months...

...I’ll make something for you then.

By then I won't be in Tokyo.

You’ll be traveling?

No.

Next month I'm moving down to Nara.

To restore...

...statues of the Buddha.

My mentor's in Nara, and there's work there.

It's been settled for a while.

Are you going?

At least eat your fish sausage first.

I'm sorry.

I...I...

Come with me?

'Are you well?'

Kafe al haal?

'I am well.'

Bikhayr.

Keep your hands off my girl.

Take your shoes off!

Cut!

Are you OK?

You OK?

Teruo, go easy!

Sorry.

Teruo, that was great!

I'm sorry, Hisanobu, but there was real pass on there.

And...action!

Stop it!

This isn’t for real!

Don't stop them!

Gimme that!

Kill! Kill!

No! Don't do that!

Nara?

I went there when I was a kid. All I remember is the deer stank.

You look like a friend of mine the day before he hanged himself.

Have you ever been to Nara?

Once, a long time ago.

The year of the Osaka Expo... 1970, maybe?

I wasn’t even born.

It’s just temples and shrines.

It’s depressing. I don't know why people go there.

Hello.

Hello!

May I?

That's not tea, is it.

I'll never do it again!

Got any snacks?

These days I drink every night. Something's made me sad.

I’m home.

Want some baumkuchen?

No.

I'll eat it all.

Go ahead.

I thought I'd cheer you up.

A Year Later

The music now playing is from this CD. It is available for purchase.

So Teruo’s gone to Nara?

Watch for Deer

Ms Kinoshita, you sure can draw.

Your turn, Teruo.

'Ra'.

'Ra'?

Yeah.

'Ra'...

'Ra', 'ra', 'ra'...

Lots of things begin with 'ra'.

What will you see tomorrow?

Oh, the Great Buddha...

...Horyuji Temple...

All the things everybody sees when they come here.

Is there anywhere you recommend?

There.

What's that?

Can't you tell?

A snake?

A fat snake... the legendary tsuchinoko?

It starts with 'ra'.

Oh.

Is it a bird?

It starts with 'ra'.

A bird starting with 'ra'.

A monster...

It's a camel! Rakuda.

That doesn't look like a camel!

What other animal has two humps and starts with 'ra'?

But look at those legs!

And the tail’s wrong.

But I like the picture.

Whether it looks like a camel or not, it's an interesting shape.

It's so quiet...

Do you still have that, uh...

...that rain cassette?

Rain?

Um...

...thank you.

For what?

This must be Nara. The pickles are good.

I made those, actually.

Want some more?

Sure. I’ll take a doggie bag, if there's any left over.

Teruo Arakawa Yoshiyoshi

Akari Kimura Yoshino

Komori Hisanobu Okada Yoshinor

Turtle Food ¥100

Written & Directed by Fujita Yosuke