All language subtitles for brooklyn.nine-nine.s06e18.1080p.hdtv.x264-lucidtv-en

to help you bring down
Commissioner Kelly?

- You guys consider me
your enemy?

You're some of my best friends.

- We haven't talked to you in,
like, three years, C.J.

- Wait, yeah.
I'm thinking of different guys.

- Oh, Raymond, that you came
to me to ask for help

shows how much you've matured.

You know what else shows
how much you've matured?

Your withered face.

- Now I know why you refer
to this as a Suicide Squad,

Peralta, because I already .

- Why don't you wait a week?
You'll probably die of old age.

- The only way I'm going to die

is if you touch me with
one of your bony fingers

and drag me across
the River Styx, you reaper.

- Ah, wonderful.
Very creative.

Look, John Kelly
has to be stopped.

He's spying on civilians.

It's unconstitutional
and it's wrong.

- Please.
Do you think any one

of these jackals cares about
what's right or wrong?

- [whistles] I'll help.
- See, sir?

There is good in every person.

- But I want it to be known
it's for selfish reasons.

- Why would you want that
to be known?

- 'Cause I've never
met C.J. before

and I want him to think
that I'm cool.

- It's working.

I mean, I love how
you're taking over the room.

- Like that?
Yeah, it's awesome.

- You know,
I actually wouldn't mind

getting rid of
John Kelly either.

That guy makes up
so many dumb rules.

He told me I couldn't
eat raw chicken.

- And you think
a new commissioner will--

- Yeah, he's already on board,
so yes, a new commissioner

would let you eat raw chicken
for whatever reason.

- It's healthier.
- It sure is, Ceej.

- And what do you hope
to get out of this, Madeline?

Let me guess--

revenge on Dorothy
for killing your sister?

- I want the same as you,
Raymond--

I think what John Kelly
is doing is terrible.

- Yes, well said, Wuntch.

So, we're all on board.
This is exciting!

Let's bring it in, huh?
"Suicide Squad" on three.

Ready?
One, two--

- I don't touch
other dudes' hands.

- Whose hand is sticky?
- It might be me.

I ate a popsicle earlier.
- It's probably Madeline.

Cockroaches release
a mucus-like secretion.

- You would know about roaches,
you roach.

- And three!
Suicide Squad!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Sorry.
Sorry I'm late.

- Why is Santiago here?
We agreed to keep this secret.

- Well,
it's hard to keep secrets

when you're married
to an ace detective.

- He told me as soon
as he got home.

- I did. I'm so excited
about the Suicide Squad.

- Oh, I love seeing
these glimpses

of domestic Peraltiago.

Now kiss.
- No.

- You don't do it enough.
- We do it all the time,

just not in front of you.
- It's been a year!

- We don't have time for this.

Now, Kelly's stingrays
can steal cell phone data

from anyone, including us,
so I procured

special equipment for us
to communicate with.

- Extremely old beepers?

- Yeah, they're analog, so the
stingrays can't detect them.

- I had one of these in high
school, and it was so cool.

You're just sitting
in math class,

and you feel that buzz,

and it's your dad saying
he loves you.

The rest of the day,
you're just walking on air.

[smooch]
Did you guys just kiss?

both: Hm?
- Did I miss it?

- Yes.
It was very unprofessional.

- Oh, come on!
- I don't like this.

I wouldn't wish working
with Madeline Wuntch

on my worst enemy,
and my worst enemy

is Madeline Wuntch,
whom I hate.

- Look,
if you wanna stop Kelly,

she's the key
to my entire plan.

So, either you get over it,

or we walk away from
this thing right now.

- Ugh, fine.

I will learn to trust
Madeline Wuntch.

I will never trust
Madeline Wuntch.

She's a venomous snake
waiting to strike,

and you know
what we do to snakes.

- Chop their heads off.
Remove the skin.

Turn them into boots.
- Don't be absurd.

Who would want Trollskin boots?

- You just said
she was a snake.

- The devil comes
in many forms.

No, what I meant was
I want you to follow her

and make sure
she doesn't betray us.

And, uh, don't tell Peralta.

- Count me in.
I got nothing else going on.

- Aren't you supposed
to be getting ready

to transfer to Staten Island?

- Eh, that's not real.
- It was pretty real last week.

- That's before I decided
to pretend it wasn't.

I'm in denial.
- Most people who are in denial

don't usually say
they're in denial.

- That's because
they're in denial

about being in denial.

But I'm not in denial.

I'm in denial.

- Is Jeffords' brain okay
for this mission?

- Yes, sir--for this and all
future Nine-Nine missions,

which I'll definitely
be a part of.

But let's go.

- So, this apartment
will be our base

for the duration
of the mission.

Thank you to The Vulture
for procuring it.

- Hey, don't thank me.
Thank my boy, Billy.

He said the place was mine
while he's still in prison.

That's not what
it sounds like.

His only crime was planning
a kickass music festival.

- Are you friends with
the Fyre Festival guy?

- Best friends.
He got a bum rap.

You can learn about it when
my documentary comes out.

It points all the blame
where it clearly belongs--

with the island people.

- Wow, so many levels
of terrible there.

All right,
we need to catch Kelly

in the act of illegally spying,
so here's the plan.

We commit a fake crime
so serious

that he's forced
to deploy the stingray.

- What kind of crime?
- We're gonna kidnap a cop.

But not just any cop--
it needs to be someone

so high-ranking that
it sends shockwaves

through the system,
but not important enough

that their absence negatively
impacts the NYPD in any way.

- Who you guys thinking?

- We're clearly
all looking at you.

- Oh, God.
Am I in charge of the meeting?

Dismissed.
Dismissed.

- No.
You're getting kidnapped, C.J.

Amy, Charles, and I
will be the kidnappers.

Captain Holt is the driver.
Here's how it'll go down.

- Approaching the target.
- All right, let's do this.

Masks on.

Actually, scratch that.
We're not gonna use ski masks.

We'll use cool rubber masks.

- Ooh, we should be the ladies
of "The First Wives Club."

I call Keaton.

- We're not gonna do
"First Wives Club" masks.

- Just because
you can't be Keaton?

Grow up, Jake!
- No, because they don't exist.

And also, yeah,

Keaton is clearly
the coolest one and

I don't think it's really fair
that you just "called her."

Forget it.
We'll wear scary gorilla masks.

- Approaching the target.
- Okay, let's do this.

Masks on.

When C.J. goes to get
his morning coffee,

we will arrive and grab him.
[tires screech]

He will pretend to struggle

just enough
to attract attention.

- Help!
Help!

[tires screech]

- I'm gonna write this down
so I remember my lines.

- I can see that you already
have the word "milk"

written on your hand.
I know where this is going.

- Milk!
Milk!

- Don't do that.
- Too risky.

What if you leave DNA evidence
at the scene?

- Well, luckily,
it's a missing person's case,

so the lead detective
will be The Vulture.

He will arrive and--

- No, no, no, no, no.
Hold on, Peralta.

You forgot to say that
I ride in on my motorcycle.

- Okay, The Vulture who
rode in on his motorcycle...

- Kobe.

- Will take charge and
eliminate any evidence

we left behind.

- There's nothing here.
- Make sure the other people

working with you
are your worst detectives.

- I got just the guys for you.
I mean, they're real duds.

- I wouldn't even trust
those two to get coffee for me.

- Gerard, tell him
where we're at.

- Brooklyn.

- You know, you guys take off,
all right? I got this.

- All right.
- Hey, you. Come here.

You wanna tell me what you saw?

- I'll tell you what
I'd like to see.

Your big--
- Stop.

I'm the one
describing the plan.

- What, so there's not
gonna be any sex at all?

- No.
The point is,

without any good leads,
Kelly will give the order

to use the stingray--
an order that we will record

thanks to our very own
Madeline Wuntch.

- Not possible.
Kelly won't tell me anything.

He won't even meet with me.
- Perhaps you can sneak in

disguised as
an old leather chair.

- Will you calm down?
She works at One Police Plaza.

All you have to do is
"run into him."

- Commissioner Kelly.

- Oh, Madeline.
I didn't see you there.

I thought you were
an old leather chair.

- He's not gonna say that.
- He might.

- You're worse than
The Vulture.

Anyways, give him a handshake,
a pat on the back...

- I heard your app
caught a serial killer.

- [chuckles]
- HotClues strikes again.

- Yes, indeedy.
- And plant the bug.

And that's the plan.

That is exactly
how tomorrow's gonna go.

- Got it.

So you do or you don't
want me to yell "milk"?

- Approaching the target.
- Okay, let's do this.

Masks on.

- I thought we were
getting rubber masks.

- Yeah, I couldn't find any.
It's not Halloween.

- These look like they're from
"Fifty Shades of Grey."

- Yeah, I got them
from a sex shop, Amy,

and we're lucky to have them.
There were only three left.

- At least you're not
wearing a gimp mask.

- Look, there weren't
a lot of options.

It was a very awkward
retail interaction.

Can we please just
kidnap C.J. now?

[tires screech]

[upbeat music]

- [screams]
Leave me alone!

Leave me alone!
- What the [bleep]?

- You'll never get me alive!
Help!

Help!
Somebody call the police!

Here, take her.
Take her instead of me.

[grunts]
No, don't hurt me.

Don't hurt me.

Oh, it's you.
- Yeah, it's us.

Now, get in the van.

- Oh, okay.

Help!

[screams]

Hey, could we stop
and get a Slushee?

It's just that you guys kinda
made me drop it back there.

- What the hell was that, C.J.?
- I'm sorry!

I didn't know it was you.

You were supposed to be
in gorilla masks.

- Okay, so,
let me get this straight.

You thought that
we were real kidnappers

who showed up at the exact time

that we planned
a fake kidnapping?

- Exactly.
You get it. He gets it.

- Nobody is following us.

I'm headed back
to the apartment.

- Okay, look,
that didn't go great,

but we got away,
and on the plus side,

no more of the plan
hinges on C.J.

- Oh, thank God.

- He pulled off
your mask, Jake.

What if someone saw you?

- That's why we have
The Vulture.

- Kobe.
- Ow.

- [grunts]

- Captain Pembroke,
what do you have there?

- Did you find a hair?
- Nice work.

- Let's bag it.
Let's get it to the lab.

- They have my hair?

I thought you put your
two worst guys on this.

- These are my worst guys,
all right?

They're real dorks.
They both wear glasses.

One of them's even a woman.
- Ugh.

You said you didn't trust them
to get coffee.

- Look, if you can't tell what
"coffee" is code for by now,

then you and I shouldn't
be talking about this, Jake.

- Oh, my God.

He put his best detectives
on the case.

- Hey, my two best detectives
are Sticky and Boner,

and they definitely
know how to order "coffee."

Extra cream.
Wink, wink.

- Guys, stop fighting.
We did it.

Let's just chill
and play some "Madden."

- No one's playing "Madden"
with you, C.J.

- [sighs]
- You know what, Peralta?

This is all your fault.
A witness saw your face

and now there's a police sketch
of you being sent around.

- Oh, please.
That doesn't even look like me.

The only thing that got right
is my little curl,

and I can just get rid of that.

- Jake, you can't.
- You're right.

It's worth the risk to keep it.
- This is bad.

Our plan is collapsing.
- No, it's not.

John Kelly's gonna authorize
the stingray within the hour

and everything'll be fine--

assuming Wuntch
gets the bug in place.

[funky music]

- She's still standing there.
- Oh, since we got time,

you wanna talk about
your good-bye party?

Will you eat a cake,
or does it have to be

boneless chicken breast?
- Sure.

70-year-old Terry
can eat whatever he wants.

You are talking about
my retirement party, right?

20 years from now.

- Dude, you know
I'm not talking about that.

What do you think is gonna
happen at the end of the week?

- I don't know, but I do know
what's gonna happen right now.

Topic change.

You ever wonder
where wind starts?

I have.
Wind is crazy.

- You need to face facts.
- About wind?

I'm trying,
but you won't engage.

Why you in denial
about wind, Rosa?

- Commissioner Kelly.

- Something's going on
with Wuntch.

- I heard your app
caught a serial killer.

- [chuckles]
- HotClues strikes again.

- Yes, indeedy.

♪ ♪

- What the hell, Raymond?
You were following me?

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

I've been here the whole time.
- My mistake.

These two goons were carrying
a dirty old mop

that looked exactly like you.

- What did you do?
- She's up to something.

[phone dings]
I'm sure of it.

- Hey, it's Kimble and Gerard.

Those nerds found DNA
all over the scene.

- Take care of it.

- Now?
- Yes!

- You know,
I know I just got here,

but it feels like
everything's falling apart.

- No, everything's
going great, Rosa.

- Hey, cool.
I'm not the only one

that's in denial.
It's catching on.

- I'm not in denial.
We've had a few hiccups,

but all that matters is that
Wuntch planted the bug on Kelly.

- No. I didn't.
- What's that now?

- You don't trust me,
I don't trust you.

The mission is off.
Here's your bug back.

It's not an actual bug,
so don't eat it, you lizard.

- Ha! You didn't specify
the subspecies of lizard.

I won that round!

- Oh, my God.
Will you give it a rest?

- Oh, man. I can't believe
this wild ride's over.

We've changed so much.

You know, when we started out,
we were just

Charles the jock,
Amy the rebel,

Captain Silly Pants,
Talky-talky Rosa,

Terry the stoner,
and C.J. the ringleader.

- I'm not sure
you're nailing these.

- Okay, I smoothed things over
with Madeline,

and she's agreed
to rejoin the Suicide Squad.

- Oh, goody gumdrops.
But do we even need her?

What does she bring
to the table?

- 30 years of police experience.
- I have 33.

- I earned
a Police Combat Cross.

- I have a Medal of Honor.

- I own the record
for most arrests

as a uniformed officer
in NYPD history.

- You got me there--of course,
I never spent much time in

uniform because I was promoted
to detective after one month.

- They're not allowed to do
that. It's against the rules.

- It's also against the rules
to let a pile of worms

wear a uniform,
and yet here you stand.

- Okay, just stop.
Look, sir, I've explained this.

Wuntch is the only one
that can get close to Kelly.

We need her.
- Okay.

The worm pile stays.
- Great.

- That was our last obstacle--
except for one other thing,

I promised her that
you would apologize

for everything
you've ever done to her.

- Including the
Michelle Obama incident?

- Yes, she mentioned
that specifically.

I'm very curious
what happened there.

- Oh, it's nothing.
But fine.

I'm sorry, Madeline,
for everything.

- Hey.
- Especially for...

Pushing you into
Michelle Obama

from behind and
then running away.

- What?
- Sir!

- It was very funny.
- Apology accepted.

There's a Policeman's Ball
tonight.

I can plant the bug
on Kelly there.

And since you don't trust me,
you can be my plus one.

- Oh, please.
Everyone knows we're enemies.

It would raise suspicions.
- Don't worry.

I know just what to tell people.

- Madeline and I are now...

lovers.

- So, we can assume Kelly
authorized stingray surveillance

and we missed it, but if we
ratchet up the pressure on him,

we might get another chance.

- How do we ratchet up pressure
more than we already have?

- By making him believe that
the "kidnappers" are serious,

and that C.J. is in real danger.

- Ooh, what if we send Kelly
a severed finger in a box?

- No way!
I need all my fingers.

How else am I gonna do
the hang ten sign?

- Nobody's cutting off
your fingers.

I meant we would get one
from the morgue.

- From the morgue?

Man, we are always getting
into the craziest situations.

If I were leaving this squad,
I'd miss these moments,

but I'm not, so I won't.

- Okay, seriously.
What's going on with him?

- It's a whole thing.
- Is it gonna screw up the plan?

- It's more quietly
self-destructive.

- Sounds good. Terry, do you.
- I have an idea.

So when my dad lost his
flower shop, my Aunt Bruce--

- Charles, we don't have time
for a weird Boyle story

right now.
Just tell us your idea.

- We make a scary hostage video

where it looks like
we're gonna kill C.J.

- Ooh, I love that.
Wait a minute.

Your dad did that
to save his flower shop?

Was your aunt the hostage?
What happened?

- You said we didn't have time.

- I didn't know it was
the coolest story ever.

- Oh, it is.

- Well then, tell the whole
thing and spare no detail.

- Okay, so you know how Aunt
Bruce can lactate on command?

- Of course.
- Guys.

- Yeah, sorry. All right.
So we'll make a hostage video,

but I don't think
we should do it here.

It's too nice.

Do we know anyone with, like,
a real creepy basement?

- Yeah, it's just got
one exposed light bulb

and a couple
of spent mattresses.

- "Spent"?
Oh, yeah.

That sounds perfect.
- Oh, wait.

Before we decide--Scully,
what's your basement like?

- Bunch of old
Victorian wallpaper

that came with the house.
I tried to peel it off,

but the wall underneath
was covered with

fingernail scratches.
both: Ooh.

- Hitchcock, can you top it?

- Mine has mother's
hospital bed.

- Okay, Scully?
- Uh-huh, yeah.

- I got this one red door
I've never been able to open

and I hear screams
behind it sometimes.

[ominous music]
But it's probably just the wind.

- Okay, that's
actually too scary.

Hitchcock's it is.

- How do we get close enough
without attracting attention?

- Could dance.
You must know some moves.

You were mentioned by name
in the "Monster Mash."

- Fine, but on two conditions--
we stay at least

4 inches apart at all times,
and you tuck your tail

back into your pants
so I don't trip on it.

- Deal.

- My name is
Captain Jason Stentley.

It's Friday night--I think.

There's no windows in here.

This morning,
I was kidnapped for real--

- Stop.
- What?

What was wrong with that?

- You said you were kidnapped
"for real."

- Well, I don't want people
to think I was fake kidnapped.

You know? I'm selling it.
[laughs]

- Okay, let's just do it again.

Say you were kidnapped
and nothing else.

- Now he's gonna add
"nothing else."

- She's right.
- Okay, fine, one more time.

Take 12.
Just say kidnapped.

- Okay.

Kidnapped.
- [groans]

- You move well.

Must be all the extra legs,
you crab.

- Don't you
find this exhausting?

- Thinking of fresh insults?

Not at all,
you coffin cave mold beetle.

[dramatic tango music playing]

- I meant our relationship.

Aren't you tired of the rivalry?

We fight and we fight,
and nothing changes.

But we're really
not so different.

- I suppose we were close once.

Remember Brighton Beach?

- 1,200 kilos of heroin
in an abandoned subway tunnel.

How could I forget?

- The largest drug bust
in NYPD history

pulled off by
a most unlikely duo.

- A woman, and a gay,
black detective.

- No, I meant a human and
a rotted jack-o'-lantern.

[piano flourish]

- Don't be so hard on yourself.

You weren't
all the way rotted back then.

[gasps]
There's John Kelly.

Twirl me into him,
and I'll place the bug.

♪ ♪

Hello, John.
- Right on time, Madeline.

Did Raymond buy it?
Did he think you were bonding?

- He was smiling at me
like an idiot.

- You've betrayed us,
you coffin cave mole beetle!

- Okay, one more take.

Please stop saying, "Don't
forget to like and subscribe."

- Sure, but how we gonna get
followers on this thing then?

- [sighs]
- NYPD!

NYPD!
- What's going on?

- What's going on is
you're under arrest

for the kidnapping
of Jason Stentley.

Kobe.

- But Kobe never passed.

- I can't go to prison.
I couldn't even get through

the scary parts of the musical,
"Chicago."

- Does anyone
have a good lawyer?

- I got a divorce guy,
an alimony guy,

a slip and fall guy,
a pizza's too hot guy--

- Everybody just relax.
We're not gonna go to prison.

It's all gonna work out
in the end.

Should we play Celebrity?
- Come on, man.

- Yeah, come on, Terry.
No one wants to play Celebrity--

the best game ever made--
but he does have a point.

Nothing bad is gonna
happen to us.

- Wrong!

You turds are about
to get flushed.

Come on, Peralta.
You're up first.

Let's go.
- Oh, cool.

So, I'm the first turd
to be flushed.

Bye, you guys.
What are you doing?

You were gonna get promoted
out of Missing Persons.

- Your plan went to hell,
tough guy.

Wuntch--she came to me
with a much better one.

Guess what she's giving me
for betraying you?

My dream job--
captain of the--

- 69th precinct.
- Bingo.

- Look, you're not gonna
get away with this.

You were a part
of the whole thing.

- First of all, Jake,
there's no records

that you and I
teamed up together

because you insisted that
we only communicate

through a beeper.
- Stupid beepers.

We're right to be addicted
to our phones.

- Eyewitness saw you.
The DNA's all over the scene.

And I caught you red-handed
making a hostage video.

Your [bleep] is cooked.

- That's not a saying.
It's "goose."

- Who cares about a goose?

I'm talking about
cooking a penis.

- All right, this is pointless.

C.J. will just
tell everyone the truth.

- No, he won't.
I bought him off.

All I gotta do is play
"Madden" with him.

- Come on, C.J.
- Hey, you know what?

I just beefed hard,
so I'm gonna let you

stew in here for a little while.
I am loving it.

[laughs]
Such a loser.

[door slams]
- And this is rock bottom.

- Oh, Raymond.
This is sad.

He's the one you think of
like a son, right?

Or are you closer to Santiago?
Not that it matters.

They're both
equally going to prison.

- Oh, come on, Madeline.
There's no need to gloat.

[laughing]
Though, it does feel good.

Gloaty, gloat, gloat.

- I knew I never should have
trusted you.

- Yes, obviously not,
you dum-dum.

John, you're gonna
wanna remember this.

Why don't you
snap a photo of him?

- Oh, yeah.

[shutter clicks]
Yeah...[laughs]

- Why don't you
get in there with him?

- Oh, why the heck not?

My kids just got me
a digital picture frame.

- All right, everybody say,
"Nine-Nine."

- Nine-Nine.
- Mm.

Raymond, I love the scowl,

but could you slump
your shoulders a bit more?

Remember--you're a man
who just lost everything.

And done.
[phone jingles]

We got it, Peralta.
- Boom!

Are they totally shocked?

Is Kelly like,
what just happened?

- What just happened?
- You've been had, John.

You see, when you handed me
your own locked phone

just now to snap that photo,

I cloned it to
a secure network server.

- When you handed Wuntch
your locked phone--

- Yeah, yeah.
I already said that part.

- Sorry.
I can't see or hear anything.

I'll"Yeah!" here and therew on,

to stay in the mix.
- Great.

The only way to get you
to trust me is if you thought

I was betraying Holt.
- Yeah!

- And now I have access to all
your personal correspondence...

- All right!

- Including all
stingray authorizations.

It's over, Kelly.
You're done.

- Okay.

You may have won
this round, Madeline,

but you're gonna
live to regret it.

You are both so gonna
live to regret it.

- I agree with
what was just said.

- Hey, Jake?
I'm just gonna hold this down.

- Yeah, sounds good.
Thank you.

- When did you hatch this plan?

- Peralta thought of it when
I tried to quit the mission.

- Hey, what's Holt's expression
right now?

Would you describe it as,
proud daddy?

- It's hard to tell.

He's still piecing it together.
This could take a while.

- Why didn't you just tell me
what was actually happening?

- I wanted to, sir,

but it involved
trusting Madeline Wuntch,

and I just didn't think
you could handle it.

But I'm sorry that
I lied to you.

Sir?
Sir?

Oh, no.
Is he mad?

I can't see anything.
Did he storm out?

- No, I stormed in--
to tell you it was a great plan.

Nice work, Peralta.

- And there it is--
the proud daddy.

- Well, well, well.
Commissioner.

- Still not
used to hearing that.

Of course,
I'm only acting commissioner

until they choose
someone permanent.

- Might well be you.

After all,
you brought down John Kelly.

Wonder what he's doing now.

- He's got a much higher-paying
job in the private sector.

- Yes, the world is horrible.
- Mm.

- But then again,
sometimes, it surprises you.

This whole time, I thought
you were up to something,

but really, you just wanted
what was right for the NYPD.

- I did.

But also, I was up to something.

- Could I have
everyone's attention?

I know it's my last day,

and I've been in denial
about it all week.

And I still am.

So, I'm giving this toast
for no reason.

Here's to nothing!
[laughs]

- You okay there, Ter?

- It's just that,
if I wasn't in denial,

I would be so depressed
right now

at the thought of
leaving all of you.

- Yeah, we'd be depressed too--

if anything was happening,
which it isn't.

- Right,
and I'm not gonna say that

no matter what precinct number
is on your uniform,

you will always
be part of the Nine-Nine.

- It means so much to me you
aren't saying that right now.

- And I wanna say
I'm not gonna miss you at all,

you piece of crap.
Good riddance.

- Pretty sure you're misreading
the game here, Charles.

- Yeah.
I see that now.

- To nothing.
all: To nothing!

- Thanks, guys, but this sucks.
- Terry, come on.

We're still gonna see you
all the time.

I promise.

- You'll come visit me
in Staten Island?

- Yeah!
Or, you know,

you can come to Brooklyn.
There's seven of us, one of you,

but we can iron out
the details later.

- Nobody's going
to Staten Island.

- Okay, damn, I get it.
I'll come to you.

- No, you're staying here
at the Nine-Nine.

I just talked
to Madeline Wuntch.

She's making a personnel change,

which frees up some room
in the budget.

- Really?
- What kind of personnel change?

- I told her that
I'd only spent a month

as a patrolman
before I made detective.

She said
that's against regulations

and has decided to
rectify the situation.

- Rectify it how?

[whistle blowing]

[Frank Sinatra's
"That's Life"]

♪ ♪

- ♪ That's life ♪
- ♪ That's life ♪

- ♪ That's what all
the people say ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You're riding high
in April ♪

♪ Shot down in May ♪

♪ But I know
I'm gonna change ♪

♪ That tune ♪

♪ When I... ♪