Original subtitles

Beth, listen to this,

"Women, tighten your chastity belt

and show this sex animal called man

that you are not objects of pleasure.

That sex is not a man's basic right.

There is trouble beyond the valley of the dolls.

Girls unite.

Join the sexual revolution and be free."

Yeah, free and lonely.

Free and lonely is right.

All those women-libers where are they from,

it must be the Victorian age.

They're so anti-fun.

I mean, I believe women should have basic rights

like 60% for women, 30% for men

and 10% for the other kind.

I don't want to be equal.

Who wants to compete with men

I have a hard enough time competing with women.

Yeah, but Beth you have to understand,

you are the classic example of what a doll should look like.

God, you're well-built, you're well-seasoned,

reasonably bright.

What do you mean reasonably bright?

Girl, I mean, reasonable enough to know

that it's all right being a wife doll mate,

but housekeeping, oh, that's absolutely unnatural.

Girl, you could die at 40 from ajax poisoning.

Yeah, but think of all the lovin' up to there.

Oh, you and you're lovin'.

I mean, an ever-loving man can't be all bad.

They're not.

An ever-lovin' man is good! He's very good!

Especially when he's got his arms around

an ever-loving woman.

You know what that result is, hmm,

they make the most beautiful Quincy Jones music together

you have ever heard.

...Our bodies are all we got, really.

We shouldn't force feed ourselves with a bunch of pills

and instant gook. We should be... natural.

Uh-huh.

We should just bare our breasts to the wind

and let nature take its course, right?

Heather, come on.

I'm really serious.

Oh Brea, you know you're really a beautiful person.

And I'm sure that when you graduate medical school

you're going to save mankind.

It's just that I have different plans for my fellow man.

I don't want to save mankind, I just want to serve him.

Well, let me put it this way,

consider the possibilities of getting mankind to serve you.

...I like that.

So, I first met this guy,

in one of my psychology classes

and believe me it was real cool

until I found out he was married.

How did you find that out?

Oh, he invited me to have lunch with him one day,

he said he had somebody he wanted me to meet.

And so we went over to the Student Union

and I met this sophomore model-type,

you know, with the long black hair down to here,

smokes Camel cigarettes.

Oh, Mr. Nice Guy's wife, huh?

Yeah.

And after they sprung for a 35-cent hotdog

and a 15-cent Coke,

they invited me to have group sex.

Oh, come on, the other-lovin' couples bit?

Right.

Except the way they put it.

They felt that it would be an exceptional experience.

Well, orgy's certainly have come a long way.

Hey.

Hey, how about a group sex clinic for people with hang-ups.

I mean, we could answer all the forbidden questions,

like, "Do I have to be over sexed to participate?"

"Is it expensive? Can anyone join?"

"What kind of people will I meet?"

"Will it interfere with my religious beliefs?"

"Is it likely to wear me out or shorten my sex life?"

Or...

"Are you sure you can keep a secret?"

You know, I've decided,

I'm really a purist conservationist.

Really? I always thought you are a liberal.

Well, I am politically.

But I'm against everything.

Everything?

Yeah, in the wilderness. You know, super highways,

campground, ski lifts,

restaurants, hotdog stands,

giant parking lots and plush resorts.

Well, I guess, I'm just for satin sheets and dry martinis

and paid vacations and lots of room service.

No, Heather, I mean, nature's natural beauty

shouldn't be commercially exploited.

We shouldn't rape the landscape.

I don't want to rape anyone!

You know, I once read this book about backpacking

in the wilderness with a buddy.

Male or female?

It doesn't make any difference. It's the experience that counts.

You know, you may be right.

I haven't given any thought to the experience.

I only thought it was important who you were with

and where you were seen doing it.

I guess I've just been too busy having a good time.

Nothing wrong with having a good time.

No.

Or maybe there is when you try too hard.

Come on, we're going to be late.

Hey, I got it.

I got the job.

Hey, man, that's great.

Beautiful.

Would you look at who's going to be mother goose to 300 boys?

Just think of it, Brea, your own farm system.

Listen Brea, you better watch your step.

I hear those little monsters

burned their last counselor at the stake.

Oh, come on, it's going to be a great summer,

we'll all be up there together.

And Lake Arrowhead won't be the same when we're through with it.

Hey, listen, you're all invited to stay at my place.

Sorry, the beautiful camp Wanachee

has arranged for my own private pup tent.

I even get time off for good behavior.

And we have a wholesome threesome going,

Carla, Nick and I.

Who is Nick?

Ah, he's some guy I picked up on.

Sort of a cross between Truman Capote

and Steve McQueen.

And he also happens to be the ski instructor up at the lake.

So you see, we're all set.

Anyway, you have a whole house full of relatives.

Uh-hmm, just one.

I'm babysitting for my little cousin this summer.

I haven't seen her in ages.

Yeah. Well, while you're warming her milk

and tucking her into bed each night,

you just think about your closest friend

in the arms of some, uhmp, dynamite cat.

Having her body caressed with kisses.

Letting out cries of ecstasy! And moans!

Oh, let's hear it for the moans of delight.

Wishing all the time you were there.

Some friend.

What are friends for if we can't even discuss sex.

Sex is a biological urge, triggered by hormones,

secreted by your glands.

Oh, that's beautiful, Brea.

Really romantic.

And sex can be demonstrated, categorized,

identified, measured, promoted like popcorn or mouthwash,

but while we are making love...

Commonly called "having sex."

We shall not forget our best friend's loneliness.

I know.

We'll write her name in men's rooms.

Or, how about a big sign to read, "Last girl before freeway."

Oh yeah.

Well, listen gang, if I get too lonely,

I can always advertise in Playboy.

- Playboy? - Playboy?

♪ ♪

- Hi. - Hi.

I think you really got to settle something for me.

Like what?

Well, my friend, Warren,

I bet him that anybody as beautiful as you

had to be some sort of a celebrity.

Uh-hmm. What did Warren say?

He said any girl with a fantastic body like yours

had to be an athlete.

Uh-hmm.

I've led a very sheltered childhood.

My name is Larry. Larry Gordon.

Heather Brent.

I'm sorry you lost your bet.

It was worth it. I met you, didn't I?

- Dance? - Okay.

- Hi. - Hi.

Where's the action?

I don't know yet.

Hey listen, have you seen Brea?

Oh, Brea! I'd like to see Brea

lying naked on an oriental rug with her arms reaching out

for my passionate, throbbing body.

Andy.

No, I haven't seen her.

Do you want a drink?

Yeah, thanks.

Hmm.

Closer.

You know, I'm worried about you, Andy.

Do you ever think of anything but sex?

No, I don't think so.

You know, sometimes I wished my mother

would have dressed me up funny

so I could have grown up to be a homosexual.

A homosexual.

Why?

Just think of it.

Then I wouldn't have to think about girls.

Oh.

Hi group.

- Hi, Brea. - Hi, Brea.

I am ready for a big night.

Let me tell you.

A big night to her is sliding down a Matterhorn at Disneyland.

- Hey Brea, do you want a drink? - Uh-uh.

I think it's a Singapore Sling.

Well, I'm surprised at you Andy, you know Brea has no vices.

Well, I've acquired a couple.

You better be careful because

Andy here just had you naked on an Oriental rug.

Oh, go on.

If I go on, I may lose a beautiful friendship.

Well, my good buddy,

I have come here tonight to invite each and every one of you

to a small gathering of my medical friends.

It will be an evening of easy virtue.

Plenty of booze, lots of eligible men.

Oh, I like it.

It will be an orgy that would be long remembered.

Yeah.

At least she won't cheat on me.

I will always know where she is.

You know,

I don't know if it's a boy skeleton or girl skeleton.

What does it matter,

I love you.

Kiss me.

Are you sure, you two have never played the doctor-nurse game?

No, but I was in a hospital once.

Well, I'm going to be the doctor.

And you two will be nurses.

Cool.

What's the prize?

The nurse that does the most for the doctor

will get something she'll never forget, okay?

Okay.

It's not often that I... that I meet someone that I can talk to.

I mean, someone that I can look up to

and find mutual interest and respect.

Someone that truly in a short lifetime

wants to spend a moment or two with me.

It's your move.

Move?

The chess game, professor.

Oh yes, of course, my dear.

Do you really think American chess players

are superior to the Russian players?

Of course, summer camp is a nice place to meet people.

Did you like going to camp?

Hmm.

That's where I first met Warren.

Warren is a very sociable fellow.

Yeah.

He and I used to share a bunk bed. I was on top.

You were on top.

Everything was all right until the whole bed started shaking.

- Earthquake? - No.

Every night when the lights went out,

Warren started beating his pud.

- Beating his pud. - Yeah.

One night he was so damned bad

the whole cabin started shaking.

I counted 20 guys beating their pud.

Warren, you might have gone blind.

Really.

I mean, when you really get down to it,

how much time do we have?

Right.

Imagine.

Just imagine that you and I

were the last man and woman on earth.

Huh, that's heavy.

Well, that's a heavy mind buster.

By the way, what was your name?

Arthur.

Of course, Arthur.

Oops.

Sorry Andy,

you look happy as a hypochondriac in a medical convention.

Hey, Brea, come on in, I'll make you chief nurse.

No, thank you,

I think you have your hands full, doctor.

Now, altogether say, "ah."

- Ah. - Ah.

That's good.

Look, I won't do it if you don't want me to.

I mean, some girls like it and some don't.

After all it's your ear.

Honey, nobody has ever asked me before,

they just went ahead and did it.

Well, I was just going to do it, and I would have, but

Warren and I respect you.

That's nice, but Warren has very cold hands.

You know, I think the three of us are going to be very happy.

I, I think I love you.

Sweetheart, I'm just not your type.

- Oh, no. - No.

No.

But see the one over there?

- Over there, yes. - Yeah.

- Were? There... - Much better for you.

Right there.

I think I love you.

Mickey, I'm telling you, you are what you eat.

So you really think you can beat me?

Absolutely.

Now, if I win, what do I get?

Huh, what do you want?

You go to bed with me tonight.

Okay. Okay.

Here's the bet...

Hey, Carla come on, we got a contest.

Contest? What contest, girl?

Listen, you go to hear this.

- You know egomaniac Mickey, right? - Yeah.

Well, he's going to have a sit-up contest with Brea

and if he wins he goes to bed with her tonight,

but if she wins she's going to shave him bald.

- Shave him bald? - Yeah.

That poor guy.

Doesn't he know she can do at least 200

and not even get winded.

We'll we sure are going to find out.

Come on, let's go.

I got to see this. Come on.

Professor, are you okay?

Totally in control, my dear.

Totally in control.

Hang loose big boy, hang loose.

65... 66... 67...

Hey, is anybody taking bets on this?

What's your play?

- I've got 20 that says Brea wins. - You're covered.

Hey Carla, are you with me?

Sure, go, we split.

Okay. Hey, anybody else?

- I've got 5. - You're on.

You're on.

Oh, that's fantastic, come on, Brea.

- Heather. - Uh-hmm.

Just being close to you is turning Warren and I on.

Hmm. That's nice.

But I wish I could find a way to turn Warren off.

Why don't we go over to your house

and we'll have a night that you won't forget,

I promise you.

Me, you and Warren.

Warren?!

Do it, girl. Do it.

Brea, don't you let us down, girl.

Brea baby, we've got money riding on you,

get it on.

91... 92... 93...

94... 95... 96...

Yay!

To the victor belongs the spoils.

Come on, spoils in front of God and everybody.

Yay!

We did it.

I told you girls

that there'd be only one winner, huh?

Oh.

Okay, I'm coming.

Yes?

Heather?

Hi.

Don't you recognize me? I'm Paula your cousin.

Oh honey, come in.

I'm sorry.

At 7 in the morning, I don't recognize anybody.

- How have you been? - Fine.

Listen you must be exhausted,

do you want some milk and cookies

or a Coke or something?

Oh, no thanks.

Wow, oh, your place is beautiful.

Honey, you just got to have to excuse me,

I keep seeing you in pigtails and braces.

Oh, that's okay.

What, it's been five years since we've seen each other.

Uh-hmm.

I really appreciate you asking me

to spend my vacation with you.

Don't you think it's about time we got together again?

This summer is going to be fantastic.

I mean, I hope I never forget it.

So daddy told John, that's the boy used to go with,

to have me home by 12.

Fine.

So we go out to the dune buggy races,

way out in the desert,

miles from everything

and everybody goes home.

Well, guess what happened?

- He ran out of gas. - He ran out of gas.

Oh really.

- No really? - Uh-hmm.

So there's poor daddy,

sitting home alone waiting for me on the front porch

and I don't show up.

Well, let me tell you,

he had everybody but the Foreign Legion

out looking for me.

He had the state police, the local police,

the fire department, the dogcatcher.

Oh, Paula.

Do you like it?

Fantastic.

Are you comfortable?

Oh, I...

Uh, I guess this is your place?

Yes, this is my place.

Look, I'm really sorry.

I was hiking all night and I was just looking

for a place to crash for a couple of days.

Well, if you don't mind I'd like you to leave.

Like I said, I'm sorry.

Don't you have any place to stay?

No, I don't have any place to stay.

I'm a little short, you know, but I am looking for work.

Listen, you could probably use a guy like me around here.

I could chop some more wood for you;

open the house up,

a lot of things. I'm a good handyman.

Why not, Heather?

He could chop some more wood for us

and there's lots of things to do around here.

Couldn't we use some help even if it's only for a few days?

Well, I suppose we could try it out and see what happens

for a few days.

Fantastic. Thanks.

Listen, you bunk back there. It's not the Holiday Inn,

but at least it will keep the rain off.

After you've put your stuff away,

get our luggage out of the car.

Thanks again, Miss, uh?

Ms. Brent.

Paula, come on, don't you want to see the inside of the house?

Hey roommate, do you want a ride to the village?

Nick, I don't have to be at work till noon.

Good, why don't I stay home until noon and then we can...

Nick Jensen, you are an evil man.

You're going to be late.

It sure would be fun though.

Okay.

I can tell when I'm not wanted.

See you later, okay?

Okay.

Hi, fellas.

I'm Brea Stone, the camp nurse.

Hello, Ms. Stone.

Oh, you boys just call me Brea, okay.

Sure thing, Brea, my name is Aaron.

This is my friend Harold.

Boys up here for two weeks or the whole summer?

The whole summer.

How about you, Harold?

Summer, the whole summer.

Hey that's great.

This is my second year here, Brea.

The nurse we had last year

sure wasn't as pretty as you are.

She was a real dog, you know.

Forget it.

Well, thank you.

Were you up here last year too?

Oh, no.

Well, I hope you guys have a nice time,

if there's anything I can do for you,

my office is right up there.

You bet, Brea.

Nice meeting you, Harold.

See you, Aaron.

See you.

Boy, is she built like a brick shit house?

What?

A brick shit house.

What's the matter with you, you can't be all that dumb.

No, I'm not that dumb.

Boy, would I like to make it with her.

But what do you do, take her for a Coke?

No, you idiot.

I'll take her for a walk in the woods,

then I'll make mad, passionate love to her.

Are you dreamer?

I am, huh.

How many women do you think I've been with?

I don't know.

Oh, come on, how many would you say,

take a guess.

Counting your mother and your sister?

No, not counting my mother and my sister.

Let me tell you smartass, I've been to bed with lots of girls.

My mother and my sister? I'll see you later, okay?

Yeah.

Okay, now Alice, now keep your knees bent.

That's it.

Just relax and let the water do the work for you.

- Bounce? - That's it.

Yeah. Just relax.

You got it?

Getting it.

Hey, can I help you?

No, I'm fine. Thanks anyway.

Here.

Thanks.

So do you get the idea, Alice?

I think so. Finally.

Good.

Hey, Nick?

Huh?

Who is that good-looking guy on the boat?

I don't know, uh, Lee.

Lee something.

Oh, I know Lee Kingman.

Yeah?

What do you know about him?

Not much.

Some rich dude just separated from his wife.

Why? Are you interested?

No.

Just curious, lover boy.

Hey, cut that out.

See you later.

Bye.

Um, can I do something for you?

You already have.

I'll just bet you were looking for the Sensuous Man, right?

Well, no I was liking... looking for a copy of

Dr. Stillman's water diets.

Why don't you try the index cards?

Why not.

Can I help you with something?

You sure turn that poor old man on.

The story of my life always turn on the poor ones,

but never the rich ones.

What can I do for you?

Now or tonight?

Now.

Well, now I'm looking for something on Picasso.

His life? His works?

His works.

I'd like to see some of his early paintings.

Okay. Lets see what we can find.

Picasso, huh?

Uh, here we are.

Do you have your card?

Yeah, sure.

Ah, is this your steady job now

or you're just up here for the summer?

Oh, just for the summer, I'm a student.

How about yourself?

No, I live here year round.

It must be beautiful up here in the winter.

Do you get much snow?

Yeah. It's something else.

Yeah? Family up here too?

No, they live in the city.

You said you're a student, what's your major?

Anthropology.

Oh, wow, that's a deep one, huh?

No. Not all the time.

But I do find the study of man very stimulating.

Yeah, I just bet you do.

I guess you've been told you're a very pretty lady.

Hey, how'd you like to go out tonight?

Oh, no, no. I hardly know you.

That's okay.

I just want to make new friends.

Well, I got to go now.

By the way, what's your name?

Carla. Carla Welsh and yours?

Mike. Mike Black.

You're putting me on.

Hi.

How are you feeling?

Okay.

Must happen at least 10 times a day.

I really thought you had it for a minute

the way you hit the water.

No.

Well look, I don't mean to be rude,

but my name is Lee Kingman.

Hi, Lee. Beth Michaels.

If you're not doing anything Beth,

how about a drink?

Sure, I'd love to.

So, I told her, "I've had it," and she left.

- Do you miss her? - No way.

I got tired of playing babysitter.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I sure do.

I used to go with this guy and every time he had a problem

he'd come knocking at my door.

Sure got to be a drag.

Do you have any children?

Oh yeah, I have a son.

He goes to military school.

They're going to make a man out of him.

Speaking of men,

you're not married or anything, are you?

Oh, no.

I can't find the right man.

Well, I'm a man and I find you very attractive.

Thank you.

Look honey, I suppose I'm kind of barging in on you,

but would you have dinner with me tonight,

just you and me.

I'd love to.

Hey, what's the matter, Socks? Don't you like me anymore?

You're the salt of the earth.

Hey, what do you say we wheel back to LA,

this fresh air is killing me.

No, I don't want to go back to that hot city.

Honey, it's not right we let Joe drive back by himself.

So who said he's going back by himself?

Hey, wait a minute.

I wheeled up here with you, I'm wheeling back with you.

Joe.

Yeah.

How much you give me for her?

Shit.

How about a buck and a half.

Sold.

I'm no slave!

Hey, listen, I thought I was with you,

you can't treat me like that.

Now baby, why don't' you bug off.

We had some good times and you were good while you lasted.

Now it's all over, I pass.

Now you be a good girl, you go with Joe.

Okay. Okay.

I'll see you in LA.

Hey.

What about that dollar fifty?

You can owe it to me.

You know your trouble, Socks?

You love yourself too much.

You're wrong

because I'm not even good enough for me.

God damn it, why don't you get off my back?

Why don't you start acting like a husband?

Stop messing around with all those foxy ladies?

Why don't you?

Drop dead?

It would have been nice for you, wouldn't it?

Hey, why don't we sell tickets to your fights?

We'd make a fortune.

You see Martin,

is that any way to talk to me in front of our son?

Arnie understands.

He knows that married people have arguments,

don't you, son?

No,

I don't understand.

It's the same thing every day.

You fight and you fight

and you're tearing my insides out.

You stop talking like that Arnold

or I'll smack your mouth.

Mother, don't call me that, ever.

My name is Arnie. Arnie! Arnie!

I can't even have my friends over.

You two would probably start a fight right in front of them.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the dance.

Well, you get in early.

This is a family?

You two must be kidding.

Hey Arnie, how are you doing?

Hey. Okay.

Okay Arnie, you take it easy, all right?

I'll see you later.

Hi.

- Mike Black, right? - Right.

This is Nick Jensen.

How are you doing?

Hey, don't you work up here?

Yeah, I'm a ski instructor.

Hey, that must be a great life.

It is.

- Hey, come on, let's dance. - Oh no.

You don't mind, do you?

- No, go ahead. - Oh, honey.

Okay.

Hi.

How would you like to take a spin on my bike?

Your what?

How would you like to take a ride on my motorcycle?

Too dangerous, besides I hate motorcycles.

I've got to go home.

Hey Beth, have you see Carla?

Yeah, she told me she was leaving

and she'd see me later.

Something the matter?

Something is always the matter.

Hey, hop on.

I'll take you where you're going.

No, thanks. I don't have that far to go.

Hey, come on, baby. I won't hurt you.

I just want to have a little fun.

Hey baby,

do you want to play games?

I'll play games with you.

You're a son of a bitch!

Help me, please.

Somebody let me in. Help me.

For God's sake open, please hurry.

Let me in.

Please. Hurry.

Someone please, let me in. Help.

- What's all the racket? - I don't know.

Come on, man!

Daddy wants to see you.

Please.

Let me in. Please.

Someone help me. Please.

Are you all right? What happened?

I'll be okay as soon as I catch my breath.

There's a creep on a motorcycle chasing me all the way up here.

Hey baby, come on out.

I'm not going to hurt you.

You creep, get out of here!

I'll call the police.

No, that's not necessary.

I think he's gone now.

I just live up the road and I can be home in no time.

Thanks for everything.

I'm sorry.

Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

She had over a hundred stab wounds in her body.

Heather, you better take her home,

she's pretty shook up.

Mike, this is just crazy,

who would do something like this?

Yeah, it's crazy.

Somebody is out of their mind.

Hey. Hey!

You are not my father, my husband or my keeper.

I do what I want when I want to do it.

I thought we had something going.

You see... see, you,

you thought we had something,

but it's over.

Over.

Just like that it's over?

Just like that.

Look, can you dig where I'm coming from?

I am free, black and very independent

and no man,

no man is going to tie a can onto my tail.

Well, he must be some kind of lover.

Happens to be he's some kind of a man!

Good morning.

Morning.

Do you always swim nude?

Yeah, why not?

Well, it could be embarrassing.

To who? Me or to you?

Certainly not to me.

You know something,

you're really a beautiful person

except like you try to act like something else,

not natural, not yourself.

So now you're the psychologist?

No, just a man and you're a woman

and I think you'd like to be treated like one,

not some queen of the hill.

But it is my hill, I own it.

Sure you own it.

You own lots of things.

Sort of a crutch.

You see, I can leave your hill anytime I want to;

I'm not stuck with it.

And I'm not stuck with you either, am I?

You know what would be good for you,

is to lie here in the mud and get your ass dirty.

Well, it could have been interesting.

Gee, this is the first time

I've ever been served by a naked waiter.

You're beautiful.

To us.

Love.

You know, I think I'm falling in love.

Yeah, mom, I have plenty of socks.

I'm taking my vitamins every day.

No, I don't have a cold.

Mom, I'm fine.

No, don't send any more clothes,

I've got plenty.

Mom, it's summer,

they have blankets if I need more.

Come on, mom.

I love you too.

Bye.

Aw...

Yes mom, I ate all my spinach.

No mom, I haven't wet bed for two days.

Yes mom, I love you, mama.

Hey, what's going on here, boys?

- Harold. - Leave me alone.

Hey, don't let them get you down.

Look, they're just trying to be big men at your expense.

I don't like it.

Aaron is supposed to be my friend.

Well, he's nothing but a wise guy.

Well, why don't you beat him up.

Step on his head, break his fingers.

Make him eat some ground glass.

Look, you could run over him with a tank.

I know.

I'll put an atomic bomb under his bunk.

Now you got the idea.

But don't let him get you down.

I know.

I guess it's my mom's fault.

She's just worried about you.

If she was worried, she wouldn't send me here.

Well, mothers sometimes don't understand,

but I do.

You do?

Oh, Heather, it's just like old times, isn't it?

You were as good as you were when you were 16.

Marty, you're a son-of-a-bitch.

I know.

But it's always been that way between us, hasn't it?

You need me, I need you.

When you've wanted a real man I've always been there, right?

It's our little secret,

you just don't want to admit it.

Go to hell.

Well, you are a pretty thing, aren't you?

That's what my daddy tells me.

Make sure you always listen to your daddy.

Lee, I want to talk to you.

About what?

About things.

What things?

Things, just things.

Things like, where you're from,

do you have any brothers and sisters,

what do you do for a living.

You know, do you like football?

Just things.

Okay.

I was born in St. John's Hospital in Denver, Colorado.

My family moved to California when I was six.

I have one brother and two sisters,

and I am an architect and a very good one.

And I love football

and my favorite team is the Oakland Raiders

and I get turned on looking at beautiful blondes.

Is that all you want from me?

I don't even know you.

I don't know anything about you.

God Lee, it means something to me.

Jesus Christ, I just gave you my life history.

I mean, what the hell is this, the third degree?

Are you a cop or something?

No, I'm a woman and I want to be treated like one.

As a lover, you're great.

As a man, you're not making it.

Look, I'm sorry.

I'm trying to treat you like a woman,

be patient with me.

Don't be mad.

You just don't understand.

I understand.

Are you crazy?

I could have killed you.

Where did you get that?

In the house.

In the house, just like that.

Well, who the hell gave you permission to go into my house?

Don't get so excited.

It's no big deal.

You walked in and just took that, right?

Well, who the hell do you think you are?

Heather.

You are to stay out of my house unless I ask you in.

Do you understand that?

You are going to be just like your father, Arnold.

Stay out all night,

play around with all the young girls

and who cares about me?

I'm the one who does all the work around here.

I take care of the hotel.

I sweep up the floor and clean up the messes.

I'm sick of it and of you.

You and your father.

You're like the Don Juan's of Arrowhead.

Now you clean up this place.

Okay, mother.

Okay. Okay.

I told you, he was no damn good.

Diane, are you okay?

Hey, what's wrong?

Oh my God, she's dead.

I called San Bernardino;

homicide is sending some men up.

Anyone know her name?

Diane, that's all I know.

She was just learning how to ski.

Any identification or wallet or something?

Not that I know of.

Who would want a kid like that, Sam?

I don't know.

But whoever it was is one hell of a good shot.

Excuse me.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Anything I can do for you?

Um, I'm looking for a certain kind of book.

Well, we have all kinds of books.

Anything in particular?

Yes, um, I'm looking for a book on sex.

Sex?

I got to make up a term paper for school,

you know.

You look like you could write your own book on that.

Yes. I guess I could,

but this is the highly technical side.

Do you understand?

Sure. Sure.

Let's see, we have

Everything You Ever Want to Know About Sex,

The Sensuous Man, The Biological Urge,

How to Succeed in Marriage, which one do you want?

I'll take them all.

All I can say is that's going to be some term paper

you're going to write.

Will you look at those tits!

Man, she is beautiful.

Ooh, would I like to have her in the sack.

Come on over Harold, you got to see this.

I don't want to.

What's the matter, are you chicken?

Maybe but at least I'm not a peek freak.

What's the matter, are you queer?

I'll show you who's queer.

Excuse me.

Have you seen Arnie?

He was supposed to meet me here.

Who are you?

My name is Paula, we have a date.

I have no idea where he is.

Will you tell me something,

what kind of a girl picks up a boy?

Hi, Paula.

- Hi. - I'm sorry I'm late.

Have you been here long?

No.

Shall we go to the dance?

Let's just go for a walk, okay?

Sure, fine.

Just like his father.

You know, I like the nighttime

when it's dark

you can sit out here and imagine almost anything.

I guess you can. It's really quiet.

I know.

But I thought we could talk.

Okay.

What do you want to talk about?

Anything.

Everything.

You and me.

You know, I think you're a very beautiful girl, Paula.

I think you're a really nice boy.

I'm not a boy, Paula.

I'm a man.

You're not the first girl I've brought up here.

Oh really?

I suppose you've had tons of experience.

I've had a lot of girls.

I know what girls like.

Do you want me to show you?

I don't know.

You're really coming on.

Do you want to kiss me?

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

I'm not in the mood.

What happened to the big time lover?

I don't know. I thought I could do it.

Oh, I get it now.

I'm not the first girl you've had up here.

Well, you've never had a girl.

You're a liar.

Where have they been keeping you?

In a freezer?

You don't even know how to kiss.

That's no crime.

A lot of guys don't.

You know what they're called, don't you?

But you're a virgin.

Wow.

A real live boy-virgin.

Stop it! Stop it!

What's the matter, little boy?

Didn't your mother ever teach you about

the birds and the bees?

Ah!

Paula!

Ah!

Operator, get me the police!

What happened?

Someone tried to kill us.

Over there.

Heather!

Heather.

Heather, are you all right?

Oh, Sam.

Heather, are you all right?

Heather, did you get a good look at him?

Heather.

Heather, did you get a good look at him?

Oh, Sam. Sam...

It was a woman!

Oh! Oh, Sam.

Harold!

Hi.

Hey. Where are you going?

Nowhere in particular.

I thought I'd go into town.

I'll give you a ride.

I thought I'd look around. You know, sightsee.

Ah, look.

Since today is my day off, we can do it together.

Would you like that?

Who wouldn't?

Sure. It sounds like fun.

Great! Hop in.

Lee, I spoke to Heather this morning,

and she invited us to a party tomorrow afternoon

at the Country Club.

Well, I told her I was going to ask you

but I was sure it would be all right.

Listen, wait until you meet Carla.

You've got it all figured out, haven't you?

What are you talking about?

Sweetheart, just because we made love,

it doesn't mean we have to pick out furniture.

I didn't mean anything, Lee.

I just wanted my friends to meet you.

Look, something came up.

I have to take off this afternoon.

I'll call you, okay?

You'll call me.

Yeah.

We'll have dinner some time,

you know, a few drinks.

Well, it seems our relationship has come to a bloody end.

Tell me, Mr. Kingman, how was I?

Oh, come on, Beth. You're a big girl now.

We made it together and that's it.

Yeah.

Well, I guess I'm a real dummy.

You know, I believed the things that you told me.

I thought that you might... just might have been different.

You believed what you wanted to believe.

Look, baby, it was you

who wanted to find a big summer romance

so you could spend all winter

telling the girls what a ball I was.

So, you got me all figured out.

Well, let me give you some advice.

The next time you wake up in some guy's bed,

don't nail him to the cross. It never works.

Well, the next time

I fall in love,

I'll have it all straightened out before we have sex,

or should I do it your way?

Look, can I drop you some place?

No, thanks, pal.

I think you just did.

Yeah. Well, I'll call you.

We'll have those drinks. And you take care, huh?

It's been fun.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Heather. What you doing?

Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah.

Hi.

- Be with you in a minute. - Okay.

The Country Club?

Yeah, sounds great.

OK. OK.

Talk to you later. Bye, bye.

Hey!

And just what can I do for you, Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome?

Well, I was just driving by, and I thought I'd stop in

and tell you how much I love your body.

Oh!

And what else do you love, Officer Mike?

Oh, I love your mind, your very soul,

enough to know that I can never live without you.

This is it for me, baby.

I'm going to join the Foreign Legion.

I am a ruined man.

Well, just what can I do to un-ruin you?

Well, the only thing that you can do to cure me

is come to my apartment

and we make love again and again and again and again...

Okay, okay. You win.

Listen, let me ask you this question.

How would you like to take me to a party at the Country Club?

I love to take you anywhere.

What do say we start with my place?

You bring the booze. I'll bring the body.

And what about the loving?

Mike, will you stop kidding. I have to go now.

Hey, hey. Who's kidding? I'm serious.

Mike, I've got to... Mike, Mike... Mike?

Excuse me.

Yeah. What can I do for you?

I'm looking for Paula. Have you seen her?

I don't know.

I think she left maybe about an hour ago

to go down to the dock.

Thank you anyway.

It's okay.

Hello?

Hi, Beth.

Brea, is Carla there?

Uh-uh, I haven't seen her,

and I've been in the house a couple of hours.

Oh.

Well, listen. When you see her,

tell her that Nick and I are here getting bombed,

and we're going to drink Margaritas until

the bartender raises the Mexican flag,

and then I think I'll go drown myself.

Beth, is something wrong? Are you all right?

Huh, what could be wrong?

Bye, bye.

Bye.

You all set?

Yeah um,

could you tie this for me?

Sure.

What's the matter?

I guess, I'm a little nervous.

I mean, do this for my sister all the time

but she isn't as big as...

I mean, you're beautiful.

Harold, what if we didn't go back to camp tonight?

I mean, what if I call them?

Call?

After we go swimming we could have a dinner

and watch TV and...

Would you like that?

Call them?

Son of a gun... who wouldn't?!

- OK? - OK.

When you're done,

my cleaning needs to be picked up.

Hey, listen.

Why don't you pile that a little more neatly?

You made an awful mess the last time.

What are you doing?

You take a lot for granted.

You were told never to come in to this house again

unless you were asked.

Now, get out!

Listen, I said get up,

put one foot in front of the other

and get out of my house.

Look, you son-of-a-bitch!

Just shut up.

You move out of that spot and I'm going to bust your tail.

Do you hear me? Do you hear me?!

Don't you understand anything?

You've had so much for so long.

You don't know what's real anymore.

You've so protected yourself

that nobody is going to get through to you.

I know you're afraid

because we're all afraid but it's okay.

Really.

Sure, there's hurt and pain but there's love, too,

and there are all different kinds of love.

Listen Heather,

the more real you are with people,

the more real they're going to have to be with you.

Don't be afraid of life.

Trust someone.

Trust me.

Don.

Do I really seem that way to you?

Yes.

But I don't want to.

I really don't want to.

Then just open up.

Just let someone in.

Hi.

Hi, yourself.

I didn't mean to wake you.

You didn't.

I wasn't really asleep.

Did you have a nice day?

Best day I've ever had.

What are you laughing at?

I was just thinking

if Aaron and those creeps could see me now.

Are you going to tell them?

No way.

Let them think what they want.

Besides nothing happened.

No, it didn't.

Brea?

Yes.

You're very pretty.

You're beautiful.

Thank you.

I'll never forget you, ever.

We won't forget each other.

Brea?

What?

I've never made love with a woman before.

You are now, Harold.

Aw, Nicky!

Listen, woman.

I got a deal for you.

Hmm. I don't know about your deals.

No. What I was going to say was

of six months of the year,

you come up and live with me;

and six months of the year, I'll come and live with you.

Why, you little dickens, you.

That's no deal, that's a proposition.

Yeah. I know.

Heather told me to stay away from you.

She said you were no good.

Well, maybe she is jealous.

I've known Heather since she was a little girl.

I grew up around here.

Her father was an old friend of mine.

Doesn't having a relationship like that bother you?

What bother?

What could be more fun than making love

to beautiful young girls?

Heather has never complained to me yet.

I guess most young girls have a father complex.

They like making it with an older man.

What about your wife?

Does she know about all your bad habits?

Sylvia does put up with a lot.

She needs me.

I guess when a woman gets to be her age,

she grows insecure,

not much to offer anymore

but she loves me.

What kind of a jail sentence do you think you can get

for contributing to the delinquency of a minor?

Well, all I can tell you is

I think your cousin is going to go home

a little older and a little wiser.

Just as long as she doesn't go home a little pregnant.

You're going to be just like your father, Arnold.

Play around with all the young girls.

Who cares about me?

Don't you love your mother? Don't you love your mother?

Arnold.

Arnold!

Everybody down!

Everybody down!

Everybody down...

Arnie?

Oh my God, Arnie.

You're going to be just like your father, Arnold.

Play around with all the young girls.

Who cares about me?

Arnold, don't you love your mother?

Oh, I wish you were dead.

I wish you were dead.

I wish you were dead!

Well, gang, after a wild summer of romance,

mystery, and a whole lot of excitement,

I think I'm just about ready to hit the books.

Eh, Paula?

I'll tell you one thing.

Hobbs, New Mexico will never be the same.

Wow.

This is one vacation I'll never forget.

Right.

Oh, it was beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

Brea, remind me sometime

to ask you about that little old boys camp.

What do you call it?

- Wanachee. - Wanachee.

Camp Wanachee.

And if I told you, Carla, you would never believe it.

So, I thought I'd title the book,

"How Much Mischief Can a Girl Get Into if She Really Tries."

What do you think?

Well, I think we had enough experiences this summer

to write 10 books.

Yeah, but have we really suffered?

Oh.

Guess we have!

Hi.

Let's get this show on the road.

Baby, let's get it on.

Where to next? Come on.

Come on, let's go!