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-(crunching)
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-Way to die, you pussies.
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-(dramatic music playing)
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-(warbling)
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-Just a... Just a little taste, yeah?
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-(owl hooting)
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-Oh, yeah.
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-(creature roaring)
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-(intense music playing)
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-And that is when I fell in love.
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-What? -Reporters: What?
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-Woman: Oh! -God!
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-♪ Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy ♪
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♪ Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy ♪
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-(screaming)
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-♪ We will kick your ass ♪
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-Holy shit!
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Yes, the first half of the semester
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was full of trials and tribulations.
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We lost most of our cadets
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and almost went into bankruptcy.
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-Shit happens.
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-Rob: We mourned the death of celebrities,
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mermaids, lake civil servants.
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We went up against VR simulators,
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transdimensional reeds,
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linebacker douchebags,
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and we survived.
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-(explosion)
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-Rob: But the greatest threats are yet to come.
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-Who found the lake commissioner's body?
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-I don't know, Tubbs. -Yeah.
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-Probably one of his kids, all right?
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-Oh! -Tragic.
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-Look, I'm trying to set a scene here.
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It's like... Is it me? (chuckles)
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-Cadets,
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I am very proud of you.
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I've decided to give you all a little treat.
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So it is my great honor and thrill
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to allow you to finally ride
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your sweet-ass personal watercraft.
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-I'm so freaking jacked!
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Finally! (laughs)
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-Jamie-Lynn Sigler. (chuckles)
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I gotta tell you, these last 12 hours
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have been amazing.
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I like you harder than I've liked anybody
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in a long time.
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-Aww. -So...
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I made you this.
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-(gasps) Oh, Rob! -Yeah?
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-Where did you get this?
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-Well, it's a funny story, actually.
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-(horn blowing) -Oh, shit!
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We're both dead!
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-What?
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-You two are both dead.
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-What? -I just told you that.
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Why won't you listen to me?
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-Prepare to mount
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in three, two--
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-(horn blowing)
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-Oh, God, the horn.
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Everybody run. Go to the barn! Go to the barn! Go, go!
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-But we were gonna ride.
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-What is happening?
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-Hogs.
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-(gun cocks)
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-Hogs! -(horn blowing)
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-(hog growling)
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-(hog snorting)
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-(squealing)
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-(grunting) -(squealing)
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-Matty, get the cadets into the barn.
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-(grunting)
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-(hog snorting) -(grunts)
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Tell the world my story!
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-Hey, hey, hey. Hey!
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They need me in here more than they need you.
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-Unh! -(Brit gasps)
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Oh, okay, okay.
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Secure all the entrances, cadets.
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-Brit, the door is jammed.
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-Brit: Look, just, um,
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seal it up with the stuff from last week's pep rally.
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-(hog squealing)
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-Brit: Yes, yes, yes! Excellent work, excellent work.
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Um, just remember, everyone,
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we cannot give the hogs an entry point.
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-(screaming)
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Yeah! (laughing)
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-Goddamnit, Riggle. (sighs)
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Todd, seal it up with the other banner.
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-Whoa, Todd, hold on.
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Let Gil come through my hole.
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-That's what she said, brother.
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-(laughing) -No, you didn't.
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No, you didn't! -I just did.
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-(laughing)
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-Gil: Oh! Oh! -(laughter continues)
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-Preggers: Gil?
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Gil?
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Yes! -Rob: And you said...
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Gil said it, Gil said it.
106
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-(Preggers laughing) -But you said...
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-Oh, shit! -(gunshot)
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-(laughing) -Preggers: You said it!
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You said it! You said it!
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-That's why you're the king, Gil.
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-(clears throat) -Oh, hey, you made it.
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-Gil: I lost track of you while we were hog killin'.
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-Hey, the hogs are having sex with your Jet Skis and Sea-Doos.
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-Hog orgies?
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Mr. Riggle, this was not in the brochure.
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-Yeah, well, that was just a matter of time.
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This is just the beginning of phase two.
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-Can you still ride a Jet Ski if it's had sex?
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-Who cares?
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What the "H" is going on here?
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-It's the feral hogs that live in the forest.
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They are an ancient race of swine
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who rule the lands just beyond that bin
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where we put the dirty towels.
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There has long been peace
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between the lake humans and lake hogs,
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but the lake hogs are proud,
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and if provoked, they become violent
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and very, very horny,
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which brings us to this day of judgment.
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We've angered 'em somehow,
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and they want a reckoning.
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-Preggers: Hey, shit, shit.
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You hog bit? -What?
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(groans) Maybe. So what?
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-So what?
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If you're hog bit, you're gonna turn into one of them.
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Duh. -Brit: What?
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-Cadets, you steer clear of this one.
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She's hog bit. Days numbered. You're done.
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-(laughs)
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-(gun cocks)
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-Shit, yeah.
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-(bird screeching)
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-Female voice: Dirk?
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Dirk Hamsteak?
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-What?
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Who-who is that?
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-I am your friend, Dirk.
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I'm here for you.
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-How am I not hurt?
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The hogs...
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-I am their queen.
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I've spared you so that you may save us all.
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-Okay.
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-Succumb to me, Dirk.
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Do as I command, and along the path,
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I will solve your many, many, many problems.
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-That's cool.
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-I sense great pain in you, Dirk Hamsteak.
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-Uh-huh. You got me there.
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-(hog squealings and grunting)
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-Shh.
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You hear that?
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The hogs have stopped having sex.
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Now comes the refractory period,
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and then they'll charge us again.
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We have one hour to end them
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before they end us.
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(clicks tongue, sighs)
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Who wants to go hog huntin'?
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-(gun cocks)
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-I do. (screams) -I do.
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-(sighs) -We owe it to the lake.
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-What the shit?
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I mean, can you believe this asshole?
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This whole hog thing was Urlacher's fault.
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-Uh, excuse me.
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How is the hog thing Urlacher's fault?
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-Because it's all Urlacher's fault!
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Who wants to bring down American institutions
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like Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy, huh?
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Brian Urlacher, that's who!
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And what better way to do it than through a hog attack?
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-But you're the one that stole that jewel thing
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that's clearly involved in all of this.
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-And you think that was a coincidence?
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-Ay, ay, ay. -Uh, no.
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I don't think it's a coincidence.
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That's what I'm saying.
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-Right, then we agree, is what I'm hearing.
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Brian Urlacher has a complicated master plan
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to discredit me, my academy,
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and, therefore, America.
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And here's what cuts like a knife.
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-A knife.
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-I was always so nice to him.
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Who let this shithead in here?
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-Rob, we could use his skills.
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-No, we can't. He sucks.
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Besides, I have way more skills, and I'm more famous.
202
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-It's very brave of you to volunteer, Brian.
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-Uh, spoiler alert, I'm going hunting, too,
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only better.
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-Yes! I can't wait to fight beside you, Rob.
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-Yes! Eat my dick.
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-We need one more for the hunting party.
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-How about hogspawn?
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'Cause she's circlin' the drain anyway.
210
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-No. No, Bric-Brac has to stay here
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and run the academy
212
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now that her dad's probably dead.
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-What?
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-Okay, but we still need one more.
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-I've got an idea.
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Jamie-Lynn Sigler will hunt with us.
217
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-What? No. I...
218
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,080
I think I sprained my ankle back there.
219
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-Uh... (chuckles nervously)
220
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Baby, come on.
221
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I don't wanna go out there and die
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if you're not gonna be there to see it.
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-Aww. (chuckles)
224
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Okay. Okay. -Okay.
225
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(screaming) Yee-haw!
226
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Let's go shoot the dicks off those shit hogs!
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Come on!
228
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(screaming) Yee-haw!
229
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-(gunshots)
230
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-(Rob screaming)
231
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-(gunshots)
232
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-(snoring)
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-(grunting)
234
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-(whispers) Robbie, there's hundreds of hogs
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sleeping off sex just below frame.
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How are we gonna kill them all in 15 minutes, just us?
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-We don't need to.
238
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We just need to kill one, the queen.
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Lake hogs have a hive mind.
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-It's science, baby.
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-But we gotta do it quick.
242
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Before the queen establishes her ingress.
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-Hog term,
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it's where she melds her mind with yours.
245
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-Shut up, Urlacher.
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Everybody knows what the ingress is.
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-(Dirk sighs) I don't know.
248
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I try to do what's best for my daughter,
249
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but, uh, she resents me.
250
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-Hog Queen: Damn, baby. That can be tough.
251
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-(sighs) I feel like she's so much like me
252
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that I'm transferring my self-loathing onto her.
253
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-So really, whose issues are they?
254
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-Mine.
255
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It's like I'm looking into a broken mirror
256
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and I'm cutting myself with the shards.
257
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-Get there, Dirk.
258
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-I resent her because she resembles me.
259
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So if I have a better relationship with myself,
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then I can have a better relationship with her.
261
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,090
-Sounds like a breakthrough to me.
262
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Dirk, you gonna wanna take a left up ahead.
263
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,070
-Oh.
264
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-You ever been on a hog hunt, Urlacher?
265
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:51,000
-No. I've been playing football all the time, mostly.
266
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-Yeah? Well, that grab-ass didn't prepare you for this,
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did it, big boy?
268
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:58,020
People die on hog hunts all the time out here.
269
00:10:58,030 --> 00:10:59,050
So I'd watch my step...
270
00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:01,020
-(catapult cracks) ...because only the bravest survive.
271
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:03,080
-Hog darts! -(screaming)
272
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:04,130
-That was lucky.
273
00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:05,220
Their hog venom could have killed you.
274
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,220
-Hog venom? Hog darts?
275
00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:09,130
That doesn't make sense.
276
00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:11,070
-That doesn't make sense?
277
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,140
-Hmm.
278
00:11:12,150 --> 00:11:14,160
-Well, thank you for saving Rob's life, Brian.
279
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:16,060
-Oh, please. He didn't do anything.
280
00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:18,030
Right place, right time.
281
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,020
I could have saved his life just as easily.
282
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:22,120
-Hey, guys, let's split up to cover more ground.
283
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:24,020
I know that's never really a good idea,
284
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:25,110
but there's a first time for everything.
285
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,110
-Rob: All right. Fine.
286
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,120
I gotta go with Urlacher because now I owe him.
287
00:11:28,130 --> 00:11:30,120
Why don't you go with Gil?
288
00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:32,140
But, hey...
289
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,160
don't fall in love with him.
290
00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:35,190
-Okay.
291
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,150
-Come on, dummy.
292
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:42,050
-I hope everyone's okay back at the barn.
293
00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:43,190
-I'm sure they're fine.
294
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,030
-Hey, America. -(air horn blowing)
295
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,160
This is Preggers here.
296
00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:50,020
Now, if you love that video
297
00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:52,170
where I punched that cop at his son's baptism
298
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:55,010
or I made that male stewardess cry,
299
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:57,030
you're gonna love this new one, okay?
300
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:01,210
'Cause right here, I got a lady who's been hog bit.
301
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,050
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
302
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:05,060
And I'm gonna show you an actual
303
00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:07,140
hog-zombie transformation
304
00:12:07,150 --> 00:12:08,190
on the camera here.
305
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,090
-(coughs)
306
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,090
-I'm at Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy.
307
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,040
My name is Brit Brit Hamsteak.
308
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:16,010
This woman is crazy.
309
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:17,030
Send help!
310
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,040
-(air horn blowing)
311
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:23,060
-Jamie-Lynn: Oh, God.
312
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:29,100
Are you doing some kind of trackery like stuff?
313
00:12:29,110 --> 00:12:30,110
-No.
314
00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:35,110
We have 30 minutes before the hogs take over the barn.
315
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,210
-(sighs) I'm so scared.
316
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:38,220
-You'd be a fool not to be.
317
00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:40,020
(exhales sharply)
318
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:41,210
-(hog growls) -(gasps)
319
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,040
-Nice day for a hog hunt.
320
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,230
-David Arquette?
321
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,130
So this is where you've been.
322
00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:51,120
-What took you so long, brother?
323
00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:53,020
-I was finishing an interview
324
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:54,220
with Larry King when I heard the horn.
325
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:56,050
-Jamie-Lynn: Oh.
326
00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:57,220
-When killing needs a-doin',
327
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:59,090
David Arquette comes a-runnin'.
328
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,090
-Oh.
329
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:03,030
-Hey, how's it going, gorgeous?
330
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,000
-Hey, keep it in your pants, Arquette.
331
00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:06,110
She's sweet on me now, what?
332
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,160
-David: Doesn't matter.
333
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:10,110
The only hot-lady ass that matters around here
334
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,010
is the hog queen.
335
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,200
-(hog squeals) -(gasps)
336
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,200
-She knows we're near.
337
00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:17,170
That is a raiding party.
338
00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:19,110
-Sounds like my kind of party. -(blade scrapes)
339
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:25,010
-Hey, Bri Guy. -Yeah?
340
00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:26,160
-How about a peanut butter sandwich, bud?
341
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:28,140
-Oh, I have a peanut allergy.
342
00:13:28,150 --> 00:13:29,200
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
343
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:32,080
-Oh, well, then I'm not gonna let you have this.
344
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,100
Ha!
345
00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:34,150
I just saved your life.
346
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,070
(laughs) Now we're even.
347
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,150
-It's a pretty mild allergy.
348
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,140
You know, I maybe get a slight rash,
349
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:40,220
but I am pretty hungry.
350
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,170
YOLO! Give me the sandwich.
351
00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,050
-Oh, eat shit.
352
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,220
-(Jamie-Lynn gasps)
353
00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:50,200
-(hogs squealing)
354
00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:52,090
-(grunting)
355
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,140
-(hogs squealing) -(grunting)
356
00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:57,170
-Yah!
357
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,030
-(hogs squealing) -(grunting)
358
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,080
-You're quite the warrior, Jamie-Lynn Sigler.
359
00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:04,130
-Who, me?
360
00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:06,180
-(screaming) -Oh, my God!
361
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:07,180
Oh, my God!
362
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:09,010
I'm so sorry, David.
363
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,120
Oh! (gasping) -It's okay.
364
00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:15,070
If anyone understands bloodlust, it's me, David Arquette.
365
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,140
-Oh, God! -(grunting)
366
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:18,020
Oh, God. Jamie-Lynn!
367
00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:19,170
-Yes, David?
368
00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:22,160
You were always too good for Turtle.
369
00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:24,130
-(gasping) -(groans)
370
00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:25,180
-I know.
371
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,030
Shit.
372
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,150
-I'll never tell anyone, my love.
373
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,010
-(gasping)
374
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,030
-Hey, wait, whoa, what's this?
375
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,090
-What, this?
376
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,220
-(shudders)
377
00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:37,130
The Hogstone.
378
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:38,190
-(Hogstone warbling) -What?
379
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,140
This was a gift.
380
00:14:40,150 --> 00:14:42,200
-What maniac would give you that?
381
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,020
-(sniffs)
382
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:47,200
-(bird cawing)
383
00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:06,160
-Have you ever read "Eat, Pray--"
384
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,190
-Brian, watch out! -(gunshots)
385
00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:10,090
-Watch out! Move!
386
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,130
Booyah!
387
00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:13,140
Whoo!
388
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:15,090
(laughs) I just saved your life.
389
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,060
-From what? -It's not important.
390
00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:19,030
No! -(snorting)
391
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,030
-Urlacher, why did you make so much noise, you idiot?
392
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,150
-(hog squeals) -Oh!
393
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,080
Would you quit resetting the life debt?
394
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:29,110
Honestly, I'd rather be dead.
395
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,230
-(pants)
396
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,160
-Hog Queen: Welcome home, Dirk Hamsteak.
397
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,140
-I want to be here,
398
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,010
but I'm scared.
399
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:48,100
-You'd be a fool not to be.
400
00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,210
(laughing menacingly)
401
00:15:58,060 --> 00:16:00,160
-Oh, there she is,
402
00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:01,230
the hog queen.
403
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,120
-How can you tell? -(snorting)
404
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,160
-(scoffs)
405
00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:05,180
-Wait.
406
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:07,030
I have been chosen
407
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,090
to speak on my queen's behalf.
408
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:11,070
-Phew.
409
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:13,160
Wow, Dirk. -(explosion)
410
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:16,170
-Just... wow.
411
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,060
I mean... (chuckles)
412
00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:21,030
This is some serious sellout shit, dude.
413
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,080
-Why you?
414
00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:23,150
-Good question.
415
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,150
Why did she take over your mind and not mine?
416
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,230
It's my academy.
417
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,150
-Wait, do you want her to take over your mind?
418
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:33,030
-I want some goddamn respect.
419
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,120
-I am so sorry, y'all.
420
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:36,180
This one is taking her sweet-ass time
421
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:38,160
turnin' into a hog zombie.
422
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:40,100
-(snorts) -Oh, shit.
423
00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:41,190
Oh, you heard that?
424
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,220
That was a snort.
425
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,200
Yeah! Transformation's begun, y'all.
426
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:46,120
-What? No, that is just how I scoff.
427
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,230
-Okay. (laughing)
428
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:52,220
-No, no, no!
429
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:55,040
-It's really quite simple, Rob.
430
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:58,020
Return the Hogstone and people quit dyin'.
431
00:16:58,030 --> 00:16:59,220
-Hog Queen: Yeah, stupid.
432
00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:01,000
-Rob: Sorry, man.
433
00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:03,200
I already gave the Hogstone to a woman I kinda like,
434
00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:06,050
and if that's wrong, I don't want to be right.
435
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,140
-She's not even a woman you love?
436
00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:09,000
-We're not there yet, all right?
437
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,090
Don't pressure me.
438
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:11,170
And where's my cocaine?
439
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:14,040
-Uh, the hogs did all your cocaine.
440
00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:15,090
-Oh, God!
441
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,040
That is typical bush-league hog shit, man.
442
00:17:18,050 --> 00:17:20,070
-Hog Queen: Mm-hmm. Suck it.
443
00:17:24,050 --> 00:17:26,020
-Where is it leading us?
444
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,090
-Home.
445
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:29,220
-(hogs squealing)
446
00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:32,120
-The refractory period is ending.
447
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:34,100
-Oh, only two more minutes of peace
448
00:17:34,110 --> 00:17:36,170
for the poor people in that barn.
449
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,030
-Okay, pregheads,
450
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,150
I got a quick update for you.
451
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,030
So, I got a little too close to this rascal,
452
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,060
and she done bit me, okay?
453
00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:47,040
So now I'm cursed to be a hog zombie, as well!
454
00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:48,210
Luckily,
455
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:50,180
I got this can of gasoline right here,
456
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:52,040
so I'm just gonna set myself on fire
457
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:53,180
before I change.
458
00:17:53,190 --> 00:17:55,150
-You don't have to do that. -No, it's okay.
459
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,160
This is how my psychic said I was gonna go.
460
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:01,180
-The Hogstone approaches. -(Hogstone warbling)
461
00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:03,210
-Rob, we have to give this back.
462
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:06,010
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on, Jamie-Lynn.
463
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:08,210
Wait. Just wait. Hear me out.
464
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,020
Listen,
465
00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:11,210
I know that sometimes
466
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,180
I can be a jerk,
467
00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:15,140
especially when you're acting like an asshole.
468
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,030
But we don't have to give in to these hogs.
469
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:21,110
The Hogstone is special,
470
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,150
and that's why I wanted you to have it,
471
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,070
because you're special.
472
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:30,030
And if every one of my cadets has to die
473
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,140
so that you feel...
474
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,150
I'm sorry. (chuckles)
475
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,000
Wait a minute. What is this shit?
476
00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:36,120
Are you two-timing me?
477
00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:39,190
-Well, what can you do? (chuckles)
478
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,080
-Oh, my God!
479
00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:42,140
Oh, my God!
480
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:45,140
Ha! I said one thing, Jamie-Lynn, one thing:
481
00:18:45,150 --> 00:18:47,080
"Don't fall in love with Gil."
482
00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:48,150
-Sorry. -Ahh!
483
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,170
Give me the stone. Give me... Just give it.
484
00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:51,230
Here. Do what you want with it.
485
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,200
I can't... You know, it's, like...
486
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:55,210
unbelievable.
487
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:57,060
-(rumbling) -(Hogstone warbling)
488
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:02,120
-The balance is restored.
489
00:19:02,130 --> 00:19:04,070
-Nice!
490
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,040
Nice! (laughs)
491
00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:07,220
Riggle saved the day!
492
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,100
Riggle!
493
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,190
-Hog Queen: Who the fuck is Riggle?
494
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,210
-Oww! -(gun clicks)
495
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,220
-I'm out.
496
00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:16,220
-(rumbling)
497
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:18,100
-(gasps)
498
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:20,060
It's over.
499
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:22,100
(chuckles) They're leaving.
500
00:19:22,110 --> 00:19:25,010
(inhales and exhales sharply) -Preggers: Uh-huh.
501
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:27,160
So the queen is calling the hogs back to the hive, and...
502
00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:30,120
(laughs) I wanna stay, which means...
503
00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:33,030
I must not be turning into a hog zombie.
504
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,070
That's weird. It's all weird.
505
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,170
-That's because there's no such thing
506
00:19:35,180 --> 00:19:37,150
as hog zombies, you nut bag!
507
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,110
-Or that's not a real hog bite, okay?
508
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,050
And hog zombies is real.
509
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:43,190
-That doesn't even make any sense.
510
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,030
-(eerie music playing) -(snorting)
511
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,190
-See? I told you.
512
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,140
-(squealing) -Shit!
513
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:53,160
(exhales sharply)
514
00:19:53,170 --> 00:19:54,190
Hog zombie.
515
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:58,210
-Look, I get Gil's sex appeal, all right?
516
00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:01,080
But I thought we had somethin'.
517
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:02,210
-Sorry, brogle.
518
00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:04,090
What we have is special,
519
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:05,100
forged in blood.
520
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:07,090
-Oh? Whoa, whoa, whoa. It...
521
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:08,130
It's not that serious.
522
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,080
-Meadow killed Dewey from "Scream."
523
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:11,220
-Oh, you did?
524
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:13,170
-(chuckles) I did.
525
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:15,030
-(police siren chirps)
526
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:17,020
-(police radio chatter)
527
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,120
-(sighs) -(gentle piano music playing)
528
00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:23,180
-Gil,
529
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,210
let's never let a woman come between us again.
530
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,040
-Brother, that's what she said.
531
00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:30,230
-(both laughing)
532
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,140
-Rob: No, you didn't.
533
00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:37,170
(laughing)
534
00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:38,180
-I just... I said...
535
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:39,210
-(laughing)
536
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:41,040
-I'm beginning to suspect
537
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:43,130
Mr. Riggle is as feeble-minded as a donkey.
538
00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:44,180
-(gun cocks) -Whoo!
539
00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:46,130
-(gunshot)
540
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,230
-Okay, we almost died today,
541
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,030
but it's gonna be worth it.
542
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,120
-Because we finally get to ride those skis!
543
00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:55,030
-Actually, uh, the hogs, uh, wrecked 'em all,
544
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,120
but, uh, don't worry.
545
00:20:56,130 --> 00:21:00,040
We're gonna work on theory until a new fleet arrives.
546
00:21:00,060 --> 00:21:01,150
-Son of a bitch!
547
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,140
-(laughing)
548
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:03,200
-You said...
549
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:05,110
-You said it. You said it, Gil!
550
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,120
I didn't say it! You said it!
551
00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:09,020
(laughing)
552
00:21:09,030 --> 00:21:11,020
-(gunshot) -Oh, shit! (laughing)
553
00:21:13,110 --> 00:21:15,110
-Rob: Hey, Urlacher, wait up.
554
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,100
-(chainsaw whirring) -(screaming)
555
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,140
Yeah!
556
00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:20,070
Yeah! Slice you up!
557
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,180
I'll slice you up!
558
00:21:22,190 --> 00:21:25,000
(laughs)
559
00:21:25,010 --> 00:21:26,060
-(whirring stops)
560
00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:29,020
-And I just saved your life.
561
00:21:29,030 --> 00:21:30,110
Now we're even.
562
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,050
-Man, that was close.
563
00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:34,050
Thanks, Rob. -(grunting)
564
00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:36,080
Get... Oh!
565
00:21:36,090 --> 00:21:38,100
Why do I feel so safe?
566
00:21:38,110 --> 00:21:40,050
No! Oh!
567
00:21:40,070 --> 00:21:42,130
Look, I know you're up to somethin',
568
00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:44,010
and I'm gonna figure it out.
569
00:21:44,020 --> 00:21:45,200
-Whatever you say, bud.
570
00:21:45,210 --> 00:21:47,040
-God!
571
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:49,200
I swear to God!
572
00:21:53,110 --> 00:21:55,070
-(roaring)
573
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,070
-Right on time.
37994
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