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00:00:01,466 --> 00:00:03,466
[David Pomeranz performing"Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now"]
2
00:00:11,466 --> 00:00:14,300
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪
3
00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:17,433
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
4
00:00:17,466 --> 00:00:20,466
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪
5
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:25,100
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪
6
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:28,566
♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪
7
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,700
♪ Nothing's gonna stand
in my way ♪
8
00:00:30,733 --> 00:00:32,500
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
9
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,133
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
10
00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:38,100
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪
11
00:00:39,266 --> 00:00:42,433
♪ Standing tall ♪
12
00:00:42,466 --> 00:00:46,166
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
13
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,100
♪ Rise and fall ♪
14
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:52,800
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
15
00:00:52,833 --> 00:00:56,033
♪ The rain and thunder
the wind and haze ♪
16
00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:59,500
♪ I'm bound for better days ♪
17
00:00:59,533 --> 00:01:01,166
♪ It's my life ♪
18
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,733
♪ My dream ♪
19
00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:05,500
♪ And nothing's gonna
stop me now ♪
20
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,533
[music continues]
21
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,200
[instrumental music]
22
00:01:27,233 --> 00:01:29,800
Well, it's gonna be
a great party.
23
00:01:29,833 --> 00:01:31,633
Okay, well, maybe next year.
24
00:01:31,666 --> 00:01:33,033
Okay. Bye-bye.
25
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,700
Okay, we're here.
What's all the fuss about?
26
00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:38,400
Larry, what's the matter?
27
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,666
I was in the middle
of a very important phone call.
28
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:41,666
What were you doing?
29
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,600
Asking your hairdresser
if you should go back to
30
00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:45,000
your natural color?
31
00:01:46,433 --> 00:01:47,566
Ladies.
32
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,433
For your information, Harriette,
This is my natural color.
33
00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:52,300
Ladies.
34
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,333
It's about as natural
as Astroturf.
35
00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:59,200
Ladies, Balki and I want
you to come
36
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,466
to our Halloween party.
37
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,600
We're gonna watch
the horror movie marathon.
38
00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:05,200
Oh, no thanks,
I hate Halloween.
39
00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:06,800
I don't like any holiday
40
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:10,666
that condones wearing
orange and black together.
41
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,400
The real reason
you don't wanna go
42
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,600
is because you're chicken.
43
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,800
I am not.
44
00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:16,900
Oh, come on.
45
00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:19,266
You haven't showered alone
since you saw "Psycho."
46
00:02:22,066 --> 00:02:25,433
Well, I guess now I know
who I can tell my secrets to.
47
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,666
Excuse me.
48
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,600
I have an advice
column to write.
49
00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:37,733
How about you, Harriette?
I know you don't scare easily.
50
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,500
I don't scare at all, baby.
51
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,033
Oh, so, you'll be there?
52
00:02:43,066 --> 00:02:44,733
Sorry,
my mother-in-law's in town.
53
00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:47,600
Now, why watch movie monsters
when you can see the real thing?
54
00:02:51,733 --> 00:02:53,266
No Harriette.
55
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,666
No Lydia.
56
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:57,033
Cousin, guess who.
57
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:00,233
Oh my goodness,
58
00:03:00,266 --> 00:03:01,766
Who could that be
under that mask?
59
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,733
Uh, Mr. Gorpley?
60
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:07,066
No! Guess again.
61
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,100
I don't know. I'll never get it.
62
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,600
Tell me who you are, Balki.
63
00:03:10,633 --> 00:03:12,600
It's...Balki.
64
00:03:12,633 --> 00:03:13,800
- Ah!
- Oh!
65
00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:15,600
[laughing]
66
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,700
I guess I'm one good
Halloween player, huh?
67
00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:20,066
- The best.
- No.
68
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,433
- Oh, yes, you are.
- No.
69
00:03:21,466 --> 00:03:22,700
- Yes, you are.
- No, no.
70
00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:23,666
- Yes, yes..
- No, no, no.
71
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,066
Y-you know..
72
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,333
...everyone's gonna love this
at the party tonight.
73
00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:30,166
Well, I'm not wearing
this to the party tonight.
74
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,733
This is just my office costume.
75
00:03:31,766 --> 00:03:33,366
- Oh. Well, uh..
- Hm.
76
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,533
You might as well wear it.
77
00:03:35,566 --> 00:03:36,500
Because no one from the office
78
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,200
is coming to the party.
79
00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:40,100
It's just us and Jennifer
and Mary Anne.
80
00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,400
No one else wants to watch
the horror movie marathon.
81
00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:45,100
Well, if nobody else
wants to watch it
82
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:47,533
why do we want to watch it?
83
00:03:47,566 --> 00:03:50,566
Because horror is the fun part
of Halloween.
84
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,300
Yeah, about that, cousin.
85
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,700
I still don't understand.
86
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,133
Why would anybody
want to sit through
87
00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:56,733
twelve hours of horrible movies?
88
00:03:56,766 --> 00:03:58,700
I could barely
make it through "Ishtar."
89
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:03,700
No, not horrible movies.
90
00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:06,100
Horror movies.
91
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:08,133
Movies that scare you to death.
92
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,600
I don't want to be scared
to death.
93
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,433
Well, sure you do.
94
00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:15,733
People love to be frightened.
95
00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:17,700
That's why so many
of them live in New York.
96
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:21,633
[instrumental music]
97
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,166
[screaming]
98
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,766
[eerie music on television]
99
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,300
- Well, I've had enough.
- What?
100
00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:40,533
- Me too.
- What?
101
00:04:40,566 --> 00:04:43,133
What? You-you can't go now.
102
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:45,300
We're only halfway
through the marathon.
103
00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:47,266
We've got three movies to go.
104
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,200
Six hours of watching
scary movies
105
00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:50,266
is too much for me.
106
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,600
My head hurts, my stomach
is all tied up in knots
107
00:04:52,633 --> 00:04:54,466
and I think I'm getting hives.
108
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,233
Thanks for a lovely evening.
109
00:04:58,133 --> 00:05:00,166
Oh, how about a little peck?
110
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,533
[chuckles]
111
00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,666
- Bye.
- Uh, good night.
112
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,100
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
113
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:07,333
- Good night.
- Good night.
114
00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:16,466
Well, what's wrong
with everybody?
115
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,166
They're just scary movies.
116
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,766
You know, you're right.
117
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,733
Who would be afraid
of scary movies?
118
00:05:22,566 --> 00:05:23,733
Oh, look at this.
119
00:05:23,766 --> 00:05:25,166
They're gonna miss the best one
120
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,266
"Invasion
Of The Body Snatchers".
121
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:30,300
"Aliens take over the planet
by replacing everybody
122
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,666
with identical twins that
they've grown in giant pods."
123
00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:36,733
This wouldn't be a light-hearted
comedy, would it?
124
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,400
Oh, don't tell me
you're scared too.
125
00:05:41,433 --> 00:05:44,500
Well, of course I'm not,
don't be ridiculous.
126
00:05:46,766 --> 00:05:49,566
I was just hoping
for a little change of pace.
127
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,766
Well, if you want a
change of pace,
128
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,200
Let's watch this
next one in the dark.
129
00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:02,333
Don't do that.
130
00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:05,633
Afraid of the dark?
131
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,266
No, I'm not.
132
00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:12,233
Don't do that.
133
00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:15,800
You are afraid of the dark.
134
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,666
No, I'm not.
135
00:06:21,066 --> 00:06:22,433
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
136
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:26,166
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
137
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,233
[screaming]
138
00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:35,233
Yes, I am.
139
00:06:36,666 --> 00:06:40,066
Well, we don't have to watch it
in the dark.
140
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,033
Well, I-I don't think
we should watch it at all.
141
00:06:43,066 --> 00:06:44,600
What's the matter,
you're chicken?
142
00:06:49,266 --> 00:06:51,200
In a manner of speaking.
143
00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:57,466
Balki, these movies
are just make-believe.
144
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,066
Cousin, they are about bad
people doing bad things
145
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,033
and I believe they put
bad thoughts in our heads.
146
00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:05,766
But, Balki,
they're-they're harmless.
147
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,500
They go in one eye
and out the other.
148
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,666
Well, I don't want
to watch any more.
149
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,100
No, what's the matter?
150
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,466
You're afraid you watch
too many horror movies
151
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,766
it'll make you into a monster?
152
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,266
Well, I don't know
what it make me into
153
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:19,566
and I don't want
to take any chances.
154
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,266
So I'm going to go in there
155
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:23,333
brush my teeth, say my prayers
156
00:07:23,366 --> 00:07:24,766
and read
"The Little Engine That Could"
157
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,533
just to clear my head.
158
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:27,933
[sighs]
159
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:32,066
What planet are you from?
160
00:07:39,533 --> 00:07:42,466
Well, I guess I'm the
only fun guy left
161
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,100
"Our horror movie marathon
continues with
162
00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:50,133
'Invasion of the Body
Snatchers.'"
163
00:07:59,233 --> 00:08:01,500
[instrumental music]
164
00:08:07,066 --> 00:08:08,500
[screaming]
165
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,600
Morning, cousin.
166
00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:15,066
You sleep well?
167
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,766
Well, I guess I can't scare you.
168
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,633
What? You got eyes
in the back of your head?
169
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:20,233
Well, of course not,
don't be ridiculous.
170
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,033
Your third button
from the top is unbuttoned.
171
00:08:24,066 --> 00:08:25,433
Hmm?
172
00:08:25,466 --> 00:08:27,033
Oh, thank you.
173
00:08:30,566 --> 00:08:33,600
So...what're you making?
174
00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:35,766
This is, uh, mach ba sik sik.
175
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,700
Pig stomach stuffed
with head cheese.
176
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:45,633
And just a pinch of cardamom.
177
00:08:45,666 --> 00:08:47,800
Eh, hm, hm.
178
00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:50,466
I thought we'd take some on
our trip, it travels so well.
179
00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:54,500
- We're taking a trip?
- Oh, yes.
180
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:56,800
We're going to Mypos.
Didn't I tell you?
181
00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,200
- No, you didn't tell me.
- Well, I'll be snookered!
182
00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:02,433
Balki, if you wanna
take a trip like that
183
00:09:02,466 --> 00:09:04,533
we have to plan ahead.
184
00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:06,633
We've got to check
discount fares
185
00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:08,600
we've gotta coordinate
vacation schedules.
186
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,733
I need a passport.
187
00:09:13,766 --> 00:09:15,800
How did you do that?
188
00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:17,366
Do what?
189
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,400
You just shot a laser beam
190
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,266
out of your finger
191
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,700
and set that on fire.
192
00:09:23,666 --> 00:09:24,633
No, I didn't.
193
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,033
- Yes, you did.
- Nope, didn't.
194
00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:32,466
Balki, I was standing
right here, I saw it.
195
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,566
Well, cousin, I think
you must be suffering
196
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,366
from an optical delusion.
197
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,066
Maybe you didn't get
enough sleep last night.
198
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,266
Do you want me to make you
a cup of coffee?
199
00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:43,366
No, I don't think so.
I'll stick with milk.
200
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,333
My stomach feels a little queasy
201
00:09:45,366 --> 00:09:47,133
from all that junk
I ate last night.
202
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:52,233
Your sik sik's still burning.
203
00:09:52,266 --> 00:09:54,166
Oh, so it is.
204
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,400
- How did you do that?
- Do what?
205
00:10:09,466 --> 00:10:11,066
You made the milk stop
206
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,700
and wait for you.
207
00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:18,300
No, I didn't.
208
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,533
Balki, you-you turned away
209
00:10:22,566 --> 00:10:25,066
and-and then..
Oh, wait a minute.
210
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,366
I know what's happening.
211
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,033
You're getting back at me
212
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:30,200
for scaring you last night.
213
00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:32,533
Very clever.
What is it, magic tricks?
214
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,500
Well, cousin, no,
I don't know no magic tricks.
215
00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:42,333
Very good.
216
00:10:42,366 --> 00:10:45,066
Okay, okay. You win.
217
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,200
I apologize for what I did
last night.
218
00:10:47,233 --> 00:10:49,166
I will never, ever
219
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,733
try to frighten you again.
220
00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:52,233
Thank you, cousin.
221
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:54,766
Well, I think I'll just let this
222
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,666
mach bach sik sik curdle.
223
00:10:58,566 --> 00:10:59,700
Come on, cousin,
let's go to work.
224
00:10:59,733 --> 00:11:02,533
Sure, let's go to work.
225
00:11:02,566 --> 00:11:06,166
Shall we take my car or are you
just going to beam us over?
226
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,033
Oh, come on, cousin.
227
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:10,266
You know on my salary
I can't afford a beamer.
228
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,633
Where do I come up with them?
229
00:11:22,066 --> 00:11:23,200
Balki..
230
00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:25,533
...a giant pod?
231
00:11:25,566 --> 00:11:27,600
Oh come on, Balki,
this is going too far.
232
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:33,400
Balki?
233
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:39,433
[instrumental music]
234
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:56,533
Harriette, Lydia, thank god
you're here.
235
00:11:56,566 --> 00:11:57,533
You're not gonna believe it.
236
00:11:57,566 --> 00:11:59,633
This morning, I saw Balki
237
00:11:59,666 --> 00:12:01,600
walk through a door.
238
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:04,433
He-he made a carton of milk
float in mid-air
239
00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:06,700
and he started a fire
with his finger.
240
00:12:09,466 --> 00:12:10,633
Let me smell your breath, baby.
241
00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:12,033
Harriette.
242
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,033
I have not been drinking.
243
00:12:15,066 --> 00:12:16,433
Uh, excuse me, Larry
244
00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:18,600
but did you watch
all twelve hours
245
00:12:18,633 --> 00:12:21,200
of that horror movie marathon
last night?
246
00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:22,633
What's that got to do
with anything?
247
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:25,466
Well, you watched
weird movies last night
248
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,400
now you're seeing
weird things today.
249
00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:31,600
I suppose that could
be an explanation.
250
00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:34,233
You bet it could, cousin.
251
00:12:34,266 --> 00:12:35,433
Why did you say that?
252
00:12:35,466 --> 00:12:37,400
Say what?
253
00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:39,666
- You called me "cousin."
- No, I didn't, baby.
254
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,166
Yes, you did.
255
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,766
I called you baby, baby.
256
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:47,566
There's no way we're cousins.
257
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,666
Wait a minute.
258
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:54,300
You two seem...different.
259
00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:59,066
You're just now noticing that?
260
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:03,433
Relax.
261
00:13:03,466 --> 00:13:06,066
Th-the next thing you know
you'll be saying that Balki's
262
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,533
an alien and he's turning us
into aliens
263
00:13:08,566 --> 00:13:11,100
to take us back
to his home planet.
264
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:14,066
[cackling]
265
00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:25,533
I'm going crazy.
266
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,633
Too many horror movies.
267
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:28,666
That's gotta be it.
268
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:31,333
Uh, I just gotta relax.
269
00:13:31,366 --> 00:13:33,700
Just gotta relax and think
about something else.
270
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:36,166
The Bears, the Bears.
271
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,266
How are the Bears doin'?
272
00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:54,166
"Planet Mypos discovered
behind Pluto."
273
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,366
- "Planet Mypos."
- Hi, cousin.
274
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,333
Huh?
275
00:13:58,366 --> 00:14:00,600
- How did you get here?
- Oh, just dropped in.
276
00:14:02,433 --> 00:14:04,400
Well, you can't
fool me anymore.
277
00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,066
I know all about Mypos.
278
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,533
It's right here
on the Chronicle's front page.
279
00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,600
[gasps]
280
00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:19,566
- Where were you?
- I never left the room.
281
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:23,600
Well, maybe you won't be
so glib after you read this!
282
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:28,300
"City Council
approves annual budget".
283
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,066
You're right, cousin,
I'm glib-less.
284
00:14:31,733 --> 00:14:33,566
But it was right
on the front page.
285
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,733
Well, cousin, I think
your mind is pulling your leg.
286
00:14:35,766 --> 00:14:38,300
Oh, what's happening?
287
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,800
Why am I seeing things
that aren't there?
288
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:44,100
I mean what's, uh, what's, uh,
what's, uh..
289
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:45,666
What's in that mail cart?
290
00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:50,000
The mail.
It comes at this time every day.
291
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:52,733
That was a pod!
292
00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:55,066
Now, I get it!
293
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,133
The fire, the milk
294
00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:58,166
walking through doors,
it's all coming together.
295
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,233
You are a strange visitor
from another planet
296
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,066
who came to Earth
with powers and abilities
297
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,566
far beyond that
of mortal man, and who
298
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,200
disguised as Balki Bartokomous,
mild-mannered sheepherder
299
00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:08,133
working for a great
metropolitan newspaper
300
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:09,533
is turning us all into Mypiots
301
00:15:09,566 --> 00:15:11,633
so you can take us back
to your planet!
302
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,566
Darn, you got me.
303
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,533
[gasps]
304
00:15:16,566 --> 00:15:18,500
You mean it's true?
305
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,500
Yepper.
306
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,633
I may be an alien bent on
307
00:15:23,666 --> 00:15:25,766
world conquest but I'm no liar.
308
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,500
Cousin, you're gonna love Mypos.
309
00:15:28,533 --> 00:15:30,133
The climate is perfect.
310
00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:32,300
All men are created cousins
311
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,666
and we've conquered cellulite.
312
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,400
I'm not going to another planet.
313
00:15:36,433 --> 00:15:38,533
Oh, come on, cousin, I..
314
00:15:38,566 --> 00:15:40,600
I always go
where you want to go.
315
00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,666
I don't want to go to Mypos,
I'll never go to Mypos.
316
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,433
Nothing you can do
or say will ever make me
317
00:15:44,466 --> 00:15:46,266
want to go to Mypos.
318
00:15:48,666 --> 00:15:50,700
Cousin, you want to go to Mypos.
319
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:52,500
I want to go to Mypos.
320
00:15:54,466 --> 00:15:57,366
When the mama ship gets here,
you'll be the first one in line.
321
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,633
When the mama ship gets here,
I'll be the first in line.
322
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:04,633
And when we say,
"Who wants pig snout?"
323
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,233
You'd say, "I do! I do!"
324
00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:09,633
And when you say
325
00:16:09,666 --> 00:16:11,566
"Who wants pig snout?"
326
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,200
I'll say..
327
00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:15,466
I'll say..
328
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,433
Ugh.
329
00:16:18,466 --> 00:16:20,700
I'll never eat pig snout!
330
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:27,666
You have a very strong will,
Earth boy.
331
00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:32,433
Balki, how can you
do this to the Earth?
332
00:16:32,466 --> 00:16:34,100
You used to be so nice.
333
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:37,133
Well, we Mypiots were nice
334
00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:38,800
for 6,000 years
335
00:16:38,833 --> 00:16:41,233
and then one day,
somebody suggested
336
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:45,033
"Hey, why you don't watch
scary movies?
337
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:47,400
"They won't hurt you..
338
00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:49,500
...they just go in one eye
and out the other."
339
00:16:51,366 --> 00:16:55,000
Well, they checked in
but they didn't check out.
340
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,700
They set up housekeeping.
341
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,766
They begat bad thoughts.
342
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,366
And those bad thoughts
got together
343
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,733
and had little bad thoughts.
344
00:17:09,766 --> 00:17:12,300
And those little bad thoughts
345
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:17,400
grew up into big bad thoughts.
346
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,800
And now, all we have
347
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:28,733
are big bad thoughts.
348
00:17:28,766 --> 00:17:31,533
So, we're taking over the Earth
349
00:17:31,566 --> 00:17:33,633
just for kicks!
350
00:17:33,666 --> 00:17:35,600
[evil laughter]
351
00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:44,433
[instrumental music]
352
00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:46,300
[panting]
353
00:17:55,166 --> 00:17:56,733
Hello, Jennifer? It's Larry.
354
00:17:56,766 --> 00:17:58,733
Drop whatever you're doing
and get down here.
355
00:17:58,766 --> 00:18:00,100
[knocking on door]
356
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:02,033
- Who is it?
- 'It's Jennifer.'
357
00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:10,533
How did you get here so fast?
358
00:18:10,566 --> 00:18:12,466
You sounded upset so I hurried.
359
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:13,566
What's wrong?
360
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,166
I have proof that Balki
361
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,533
is from a planet called Mypos
362
00:18:23,566 --> 00:18:24,533
and they're taking over
the Earth.
363
00:18:24,566 --> 00:18:26,166
You've got to believe me.
364
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,066
- Larry, I believe you.
- You do?
365
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,633
Why?
366
00:18:30,666 --> 00:18:32,266
Well, for one thing
367
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:35,166
Balki is floating
outside the window.
368
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:40,166
No, no, don't let him in.
369
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,666
We've got to leave right now.
370
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:42,733
There's no hurry.
371
00:18:42,766 --> 00:18:43,800
What do you mean,
"There's no hurry?"
372
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:46,533
If we stay we'll become Mypiots!
373
00:18:47,633 --> 00:18:49,733
Is that really so bad, cousin?
374
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,100
You're wearing a vest.
You're one of them!
375
00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:00,100
[panting]
376
00:19:01,366 --> 00:19:02,700
(all)
Hi, cousin.
377
00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:04,500
Going somewhere?
378
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:10,233
Time to go.
379
00:19:10,266 --> 00:19:12,033
The mama ship is double-parked.
380
00:19:12,066 --> 00:19:14,333
[laughs]
381
00:19:17,066 --> 00:19:19,333
You mean he's changed
you all into Mypiots?
382
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:22,133
(all)
Well, of course he has,
don't be ridiculous.
383
00:19:24,233 --> 00:19:25,466
Let me give you a hand, cousin.
384
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:26,700
Oh, no.
385
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,233
I'm not falling
for that one again.
386
00:19:28,266 --> 00:19:29,600
You'll never take me.
387
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:32,100
Oh, come on, cousin.
388
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,233
Be one of us.
389
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:43,000
Put on the vest.
390
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,433
- Alterations are free.
- No.
391
00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:48,066
No, no, no.
392
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,200
[panting]
393
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:53,566
Get away. Get away.
394
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,000
[evil laughter]
395
00:19:58,133 --> 00:19:59,600
Oh, no. Oh, no.
396
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,366
(all)
Cousin. Cousin. Cousin.
397
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:08,633
- Cousin, cousin--
- Get away, get away.
398
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,266
- Cousin.
- Ah. Huh!
399
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,100
Huh, don't come any closer!
400
00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:14,066
How would that be possible?
401
00:20:15,733 --> 00:20:17,766
You'll never put that vest
on me.
402
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,700
But, cousin,
I wasn't thinking of it.
403
00:20:19,733 --> 00:20:21,300
It don't go with
the knife in your chest.
404
00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:23,200
What?
405
00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:25,066
[shrieks]
406
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,700
Oh. Oh.
407
00:20:26,733 --> 00:20:28,566
I've got a knife in my chest.
408
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,633
Oh, that's great.
409
00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:31,800
Oh. Oh..
410
00:20:31,833 --> 00:20:33,233
I must have fallen asleep
411
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,200
in front of the television!
412
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,166
Cousin, I think you
were having a bad dream.
413
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,533
Oh, I was.
414
00:20:38,566 --> 00:20:40,566
And, Balki, it was awful.
415
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,066
In my dream, you were
from a-a planet called Mypos
416
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:46,300
and-and you were
taking over the Earth.
417
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,500
And that wasn't the awful part.
418
00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:51,266
The awful part was
that you were not nice.
419
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,600
[chuckles]
420
00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:54,600
Can you imagine that?
421
00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:56,600
Balki Bartokomous, not nice?
422
00:20:56,633 --> 00:20:58,766
[chuckling]
423
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:05,000
Balki, uh, just
for argument's sake, uh..
424
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,466
...what would you do if a total
stranger came up to you
425
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,366
on the street
and took your money
426
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,033
kicked you in the shins and said
your mama wears army boots?
427
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:19,166
Well, um..
428
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,400
...if he, uh, took my money
429
00:21:21,433 --> 00:21:24,333
I'd say, "Spend it wisely."
430
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,800
And if he kicked me
in the shins, I'd say
431
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:29,266
"You know, you should join a gym
to find a more
432
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,333
positive way
of taking out aggression."
433
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:36,733
And if he says
my mama wears army boots
434
00:21:36,766 --> 00:21:39,766
then I'd say, "You've seen mama?
How does she look?"
435
00:21:43,666 --> 00:21:46,133
You are Balki. Uh-huh..
436
00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:47,100
Ow.
437
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,733
- Oh.
- Cousin.
438
00:21:54,433 --> 00:21:56,133
Well..
439
00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:58,300
Balki.. Woop!
440
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,600
Balki, I never want to have
441
00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:07,066
a nightmare like that again.
442
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:08,066
- Observation.
- Hmm?
443
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:10,100
If you hadn't watched
all those scary movies
444
00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:11,666
you wouldn't have
had that bad dream.
445
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,766
Well, you know,
ever since my parents
446
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,033
took me out of "Fantasia"
crying..
447
00:22:18,066 --> 00:22:20,533
...I've been trying
to prove something.
448
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,566
Well, cousin,
you did prove something.
449
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,400
You proved
that if you watch twelve hours
450
00:22:26,433 --> 00:22:29,200
of scary movies,
then you have a nightmare.
451
00:22:29,233 --> 00:22:32,100
Of course, the rest of us
already knew that.
452
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:33,700
That's why you were
watching them alone.
453
00:22:35,700 --> 00:22:37,433
Well, why learn the easy way
454
00:22:37,466 --> 00:22:39,166
when you can learn the hard way?
455
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,266
Well, that's the motto
you live by.
456
00:22:45,366 --> 00:22:47,266
Balki, what do you say,
next Halloween
457
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:50,333
we just hand out candy
to the kids and call it a night?
458
00:22:50,366 --> 00:22:53,233
Okay by me.
Now, how about this?
459
00:22:53,266 --> 00:22:55,100
We clean up this place,
I make you some breakfast
460
00:22:55,133 --> 00:22:56,500
and you start to feel better.
461
00:22:56,533 --> 00:22:57,466
Okay.
462
00:22:59,066 --> 00:23:01,333
Boy, what a nightmare.
463
00:23:01,366 --> 00:23:04,566
Huh. I, it-it was
the craziest thing.
464
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,400
I, every time I turned around..
465
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,033
...you were gone.
466
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,566
Balki?
467
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,766
- Cousin?
- Huh!
468
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,733
[instrumental music]
469
00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:30,433
[theme music]
32474
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