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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:02,736
(NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME NOW
PLAYING)
2
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,214
* Sometimes the world
looks perfect
3
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,317
* Nothin' to rearrange
4
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,286
* Sometimes you just
5
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,354
* Get a feelin' like you need
6
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,556
* Some kind of change
7
00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:27,428
* No matter what
the odds are this time
8
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,930
* Nothing's gonna stand
in my way
9
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:33,234
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
10
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,438
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
11
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:41,409
* Standing tall
12
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:45,045
* On the wings
of my dreams
13
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:48,082
* Rise and fall
14
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,819
* On the wings
of my dreams
15
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,621
* The rain and thunder
16
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,055
* The wind and haze
17
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,126
* I'm bound
for better days
18
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,762
* And my dream
19
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,333
* And nothing's gonna
stop me now *
20
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,684
Cousin, hold on to your pants!
21
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,787
And fasten your neck brace
22
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,757
because I'm gonna
show you something
23
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:33,127
that's gonna make your head spin
like Linda Blair.
24
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,899
Look.
25
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,501
New watch?
26
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:41,802
No, uh-uh...
27
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:42,936
More than a new watch.
28
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,438
It's a, it's a Rolex!
29
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,807
With, with solid quartz crystal
30
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,342
and genuine Swiss movements
31
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,978
and if you look at it
in a certain light,
32
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,180
you can see
33
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,681
up your nose.
34
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,657
Balki, Rolexes
are very expensive.
35
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,827
Well, I guess I really stepped
in something good this time.
36
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,299
Yeah, let me look at it.
No, no.
37
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,366
Come, on, let me
see your new watch.
38
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,634
No, no. I don't think so.
39
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,171
Well, why not?
40
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,407
Well, why look at my watch,
41
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,243
when you can look
at your own watch!
42
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,278
Yes, Cousin Larry Appleton!
43
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,280
Your very own watch!
44
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,083
Tell us about it, Balki.
45
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,986
Well, Balki, it's a Rolex
46
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:36,457
with solid quartz crystal
and genuine Swiss movement,
47
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,360
automatic day and date display.
48
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,362
Promotional consideration
by Bartokomous of Mypos.
49
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,435
Back to you, cousin.
50
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,940
Well, this is a Rolex,
all right.
51
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:54,742
Well...
52
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,777
Oh.
53
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,512
The stem came off.
54
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,385
And the crystal.
55
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,258
And the back.
56
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:12,760
Is this a kit?
57
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,197
Where'd you buy this?
58
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,466
From Leon.
59
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,503
Leon
60
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,339
Leon. The human discount
department store.
61
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,979
All of the merchandise,
none of the parking problem.
62
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,585
And I bet he gave you
a good deal, right?
63
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,320
Well, you can say that again.
64
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:42,456
He let me have it for $38.95.
65
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,859
Balki...
66
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,261
Leon is a crook.
67
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,029
These watches are counterfeit.
68
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,097
You've been ripped off.
69
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,300
Wait a minute.
70
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,539
And that these watches
are counterfeit?
71
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,408
And that I've been ripped off?
72
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:03,711
Yes.
73
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,746
What's your point?
74
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,717
My point is,
first thing tomorrow morning
75
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:13,621
we are going down to
the police and tell them
about this Leon.
76
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,556
You didn't buy anymore watches
from him, did you?
77
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:19,126
Well, of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.
78
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:22,463
I just bought Mary Anne
this priceless pearl necklace.
79
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,667
Leon said it used to belong
to Elvis Presley.
80
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,848
LARRY: Going to the
police department
was a complete waste of time.
81
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,918
Let me guess.
82
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,587
You're upset.
83
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:47,988
We're more than upset.
84
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,991
We're...really upset.
85
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,763
What's wrong?
86
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,931
I'll tell you what's wrong.
87
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:58,999
Tell her, cousin.
88
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,474
A scam artist sold Balki
two phony watches
89
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,376
and a necklace
of no value whatsoever,
90
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,010
so we went to the police
and, quite frankly,
91
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,879
they were no help at all.
92
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,748
They said,
"Don't call us,
we'll call us."
93
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,185
The police department
is incompetent,
94
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,521
inefficient,
and stinks on ice.
95
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:26,594
I wasn't finished.
96
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,197
They're also
overworked, underpaid,
97
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,665
and unappreciated.
98
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,102
Don't kiss up, baby.
99
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,707
Can't your husband help us?
100
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,743
Well, he could,
but he's in Homicide.
101
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,978
Well, when he gets back,
can't he give us a call?
102
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,751
No, uh, you see, honey,
103
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,386
Homicide isn't a place.
104
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:53,654
It's, uh...
105
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,390
I'll give him the message.
106
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,834
Well, nothing to be done.
107
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:10,604
I guess Princess Di is cast.
108
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,909
No use crying over spilt curd.
109
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,880
It's just not right.
110
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,815
Hoodlums operating
out in the open,
111
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,250
taking advantage
of the little people.
112
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:30,591
I know.
113
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,626
Wait a minute.
114
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,361
What am I thinking of?
115
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,163
Is it a number
between one and ten?
116
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,669
Good guess, but no.
117
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,771
Twelve?
No.
118
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,305
Uh, is it bigger
than a head cheese?
119
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,340
All right, Balki.
120
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:51,612
Just let me tell you
what I'm thinking.
121
00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,514
in the city,
and we're wondering what to do
122
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,516
about a measly scam artist?
123
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,887
That's what
you were thinking?
124
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,889
How is a person
supposed to guess that?
125
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,860
Balki, I'm a reporter.
We can expose Leon.
126
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,729
We can infiltrate
the whole operation.
127
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,931
We can put those guys
out of business.
128
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,735
Let me get this straight.
129
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,971
You and I,
two complete amateurs,
130
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,407
are going to go down
and fool people
131
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,810
who make their living
fooling people?
132
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,646
Right.
133
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,047
I don't think so.
134
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,117
Come on, Balki.
We have certain advantages.
135
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:34,955
We have the element of surprise.
136
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,024
I know what I'm doing.
I've already figured out a plan.
137
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,092
You introduce me to Leon
as a big time player
138
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,460
a mover and a shaker.
139
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,065
but we only want to deal
with the boss.
140
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,201
Bruce Springsteen
is involved in this?
141
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,242
Not "The Boss." Leon's boss.
142
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,978
His supplier. We'll set up
a meeting in a couple of days.
143
00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,813
That'll give us time
to get the newspaper involved.
144
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,348
They'll give us marked money.
145
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,518
We'll make the buy and blow
their operation wide open.
146
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,557
It'll be just like
147
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,191
Miami Vice.
148
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,664
You and me, undercover.
149
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,269
Can I be Don Johnson?
150
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,541
Sure.
151
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,942
You got it.
152
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,236
Balki?
153
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,604
Aren't you taking
this Miami Vice thing
154
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,305
a little too far?
155
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,176
Now, wait just a minute.
156
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,879
Isn't that a bit like
157
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,748
Pa Kettle calling
Ma Kettle black?
158
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,060
Balki, this is my disguise.
159
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,128
I'm pretending
to be a tough guy.
160
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,098
Well, if Leon buys that,
161
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,967
he'd buy some
of his own watches.
162
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,237
Watch this.
163
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,646
Que pasa, bro?
What's happening?
164
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,947
Where's the action?
165
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,653
First day undercover?
166
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,669
All right,
I'll lose the accent.
167
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,372
You call that an accent?
168
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,847
BALKI: Look, cousin, there
he is. There's Leon.
169
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,350
Let's go.
170
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,830
Excuse me, Mr. Leon.
Uh, we, we want to talk...
171
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,732
Hey, hey, hey.
172
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,967
No refunds, man. No way.
173
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,602
Oh, no. I don't want a refund.
You don't?
174
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,740
No, I want to introduce you
to my friend, Cousin Larry.
175
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,407
He's a big-time player.
176
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,876
He's a mover and a shaker.
177
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,279
And, uh... and, um...
178
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,648
Wait, wait, wait.
Balki.
179
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,316
I want to buy
a lot of watches.
180
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,952
I can move them
on the west side.
181
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,419
We're talking big bucks here.
182
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,687
How big?
183
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,456
Uh...
184
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,493
Three, four Gs.
185
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,895
Three, four Gs?
186
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,930
That's chump change!
187
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,232
Three, four Gs. Ha!
188
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,403
Try five Gs.
Balki.
189
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,872
Try ten Gs.
Balki.
190
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,874
Try 15 Gs.
Balki.
191
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,842
Question, what's a G?
192
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,813
It's a thousand dollars.
193
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,948
Gee.
194
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:59,519
You sure you guys
can get this kind of money?
195
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,587
We're sure.
196
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,889
There's one condition.
197
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,191
We only deal with the top man.
198
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,496
You can?
199
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,066
Uh...
200
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,268
Friday night
good for everybody?
201
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,039
Tonight!
202
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:20,908
Midnight.
203
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,810
Right here.
204
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,644
Midnight? That only gives us
an hour and a half.
205
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,113
Oh, out of the question.
206
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,515
How about Thursday morning
over pancakes?
207
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,118
How about midnight?
208
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,887
My thought exactly. Cousin?
209
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,957
Good. I'm gonna
go set it up.
210
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,658
Don't you guys try
and pull anything funny,
211
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,527
or we'll hurt you.
212
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,862
And you'll never get well.
213
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,449
I'm ready to go, cousin.
214
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,683
Is this okay?
215
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,751
Fine.
216
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,420
Balki,
217
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:11,391
in your coat pocket.
218
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,226
The recorder will be hidden
in your pocket.
219
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,429
When I say,
"Let's make a deal,"
220
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,397
you turn it on.
221
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,000
When I say,
"Let's make a deal."
222
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,002
Can you remember that?
Well, of course I can.
223
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,937
Don't be ridiculous.
224
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,438
Here's the tape.
225
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,043
"Motown's Biggest Pop Hits"?
226
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:34,915
Are you sure you want to record
over The Supremes?
227
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,549
Yes, I do.
228
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,919
Now, Balki, we're supposed
to meet these guys
229
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,053
in half an hour.
230
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,321
The money's ready.
231
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,822
Let's get going.
232
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,625
Okay, cousin, um,
before we go...
233
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:46,826
I think I ought to point out
234
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,596
one small but
significant flaw
235
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,498
in your otherwise
brilliant plan.
236
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,902
Um...
237
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,537
Somebody...
I'm not naming names.
238
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:01,374
...forgot to put
The President's face on this.
239
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,879
Blank green paper.
240
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,652
on the top
of each stack of paper.
241
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,622
So that it looks like
there's $15,000
242
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,224
in the briefcase.
243
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,630
Of course, they'll want
to see the money.
244
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,901
But I will only
let them look, not touch.
245
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,172
I will open the briefcase,
like so...
246
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:35,708
Then I'll quickly
close the briefcase, like so.
247
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,378
They will have seen the money,
248
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,848
Therefore, they will believe
that there is $15,000
249
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,951
in fact in the briefcase.
250
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,218
Now can we go?
Question.
251
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:49,656
What?
252
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,224
After you open the briefcase
253
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,892
aren't they going
to grab the money?
254
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,196
Oh, I see.
255
00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,333
You think
they can grab the money
256
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,935
before I can close
the briefcase.
257
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,303
That is correct.
258
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:07,807
Try it. Hmm?
259
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,109
Try it.
260
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,313
You wanna grab
the money
261
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:48,181
Okay, smart guy,
you got a better idea?
262
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,617
Well, of course I do.
Don't be ridiculous.
263
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:51,851
Oh
I do.
264
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,954
You do?
I do.
265
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:58,258
But I'm sure there is one.
266
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,892
would have thought
of it long ago.
267
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,194
Now, can we leave?
268
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:02,595
We have hoodlums waiting.
269
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:17,510
Wow, I've never been
here this late.
270
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,746
I can't believe
how quiet it is.
271
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,514
Yeah.
272
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,317
Too quiet.
273
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,023
Hello!
274
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,126
Will you stop it?
275
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,664
Well, I'm sorry.
276
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,402
Look, just stay cool.
277
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,637
When Leon gets here,
278
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,639
all we have to do
is make the deal.
279
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,041
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
280
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,342
I'm turning on
the tape recorder.
281
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,211
You gave me the signal.
No. Not yet.
282
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,946
The signal is,
"Let's make a deal."
283
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,348
Let's.
284
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:58,017
Oh. Okay, okay, I got it.
285
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:02,589
Now, just stay calm.
286
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,425
Yo!
Oh.
287
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,493
Leon.
288
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,998
Okay, boys,
let's make a deal.
289
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,066
No! Not yet!
What?
290
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,135
No. Yes. Yes, Leon.
291
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,237
We told you.
292
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:19,506
We only deal with the boss.
293
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,443
The boss.
294
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,611
Mr. Big.
295
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,213
The top banana man.
296
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,148
The headless honcho.
The guy...
297
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,483
He's got it.
Okay.
298
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,352
You'll see him
as soon as I see the money.
299
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,720
No dice.
300
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,356
We only show this money
to one guy.
301
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,725
Right, Balki?
Right, baby. One guy.
302
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,561
The Kingpin.
303
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,431
The Godfather.
304
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,734
The big cheese wiz.
305
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,637
The guy...
He's got it.
306
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:51,704
Okay, okay.
307
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:54,641
Don't move.
308
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,245
Cousin, it's working.
309
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,446
Of course, it's working.
310
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,648
We're dealing
with mental midgets.
311
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,423
These mental midgets
have gigantic bodies.
312
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,661
This is Fat Jack.
313
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,330
Okay.
314
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,533
Let's make a deal.
315
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,769
Okay by me.
This ain't no social call.
316
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,508
I said,
let's make a deal.
317
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:33,146
Hey, I heard you.
I'm pathological, not deaf.
318
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,386
Let's make a deal.
319
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:41,921
Fine by me, cousin.
320
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,523
I wanna get the heck
out of here.
321
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,296
Excuse us.
322
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,632
Turn on the tape recorder!
323
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,202
Turn on the tape recorder!
324
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,439
Oh. Oh, oh, yes.
325
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,152
So, uh, you're
the big player, huh?
326
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,022
Yes, he's the big player
327
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,257
You.
Yes?
328
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,192
Shut up!
Okay.
329
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,593
You, let's see the money.
330
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,795
The money?
331
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,598
You mean the $15,000
332
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,768
I'm giving you
for the counterfeit watches?
333
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:32,339
The watches that you sell
on the black carpet?
334
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,377
Ow!
Who are these clowns?
335
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,745
Hey, they said
they had the money.
336
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,332
Hey, open that up.
337
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,767
Oh, it's locked.
338
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,235
And, oh, darn,
339
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,003
I forgot the combination.
340
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,205
Yeah, well, maybe I can
remember it for you.
341
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:12,745
Oh...
342
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,213
Goodness gracious.
343
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,515
That's just paper.
344
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,819
You guys are dead meat.
345
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,689
Hold it right there.
346
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,592
I'm packin' a heater.
347
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,031
A heater?
348
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,099
A rod.
What?
349
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,667
A piece.
Hmm?
350
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:36,936
A gun.
351
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,306
Oh. A gun. Right.
352
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,708
All right, everybody,
up against the wall.
353
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,075
Move it!
354
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:45,111
You're bluffin'.
355
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,714
Don't tempt me.
356
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,821
I've got a scratchy
trigger finger.
357
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,429
* Baby love, my baby love
358
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,663
* I need your love
359
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,665
* Oh, how I need your love... *
360
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,503
Hey, what was that?
361
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,339
Uh, Ain't No Mountain
High Enough?
362
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,643
No. Sounded more like,
uh, Love Child.
363
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,412
What's wrong with you people?
That's Baby Love.
364
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,015
You guys ought to brush up
on your Motown.
365
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:26,453
Let's get them.
366
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:30,122
911.
367
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,190
911.
368
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,258
911.
369
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:33,593
911.
370
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:34,694
911.
371
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,038
Well, now you've done it.
372
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,209
You're going to have to answer
373
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,711
to the phone company.
374
00:21:58,284 --> 00:22:01,788
You know something?
375
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,256
Hold it right there!
Police.
376
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,459
You're all under arrest.
377
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:11,398
Up against the wall.
It's the police.
378
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:14,434
Boy, are we glad to see you.
379
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,969
Larry Appleton,
Chicago Chronicle.
380
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,771
Cousin, it's the police.
381
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:21,708
And you said that they were
incompetent and inefficient.
382
00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:22,775
And...
383
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,013
Uh, and that they
stink on ice.
384
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,116
You said that?
385
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,120
Well, I meant it
in the nicest possible way.
386
00:22:35,422 --> 00:22:36,623
Up against a wall.
387
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:46,466
"In a predawn
undercover operation,
388
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,501
"Balki Bartokomous,
arrested three men
389
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,403
"and seized a large quantity
of counterfeit watches
390
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,271
"and other bogus jewelry."
391
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:53,806
Balki, they gave me a byline.
392
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,842
Yes, and they
put your name on it.
393
00:22:57,477 --> 00:23:00,580
So, cousin,
all's well that ends.
394
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,083
Well.
395
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,419
Well what?
396
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:09,255
"All's well that ends well."
397
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:11,824
I just said that.
No.
398
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,693
I'm trying to pay you
a compliment.
399
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,394
You gonna be one heck
of a reporter
400
00:23:15,462 --> 00:23:18,598
if you live long enough.
401
00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:20,199
We make a good team,
don't we?
402
00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:22,802
You can say that again.
403
00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:23,670
Really?
404
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,005
I love Woodward
and Bernstein.
405
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,273
Which one am I?
406
00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:29,075
Joanne Woodward
or Leonard Bernstein?
26706
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