Original subtitles

- When do you leave? - Tomorrow.

- Why can't you stay here instead? - Do you want to see something funny?

Where on earth did you get that?

One of dad's patient's forgot them. Makes you look like a horse, doesn't it?

- I thought of something. - What?

We could be blood-brothers.

- Pass your hand. - No, there could be bacteria on that.

Come on...

Right... Now we must always stick together.

We must go to the countryside together.

I don't have that, so I must go with you.

Don't you get it! I can't! And granddad's always so angry.

- I always wanted an angry granddad. - It's not possible.

Please, I've never been to the country.

I can't even bloody swim!

Hello.

- I'm going with Ulf to the country. - But...

- Great! - He'll teach me to swim and we'll fish.

- I'm really happy. - You see, it worked out.

- Say thanks very much to your parents. - Bye.

- Bye. - See you in the country.

You have a cut... What have you done?

- It was just me and Percy... - Was it Percy?

At least you'll get away from Percy. You just get up to mischief.

- Come on, Ulf - Isn't lazybones helping?

- I have to tell you something. - We'll talk later.

- It's very important. - We have all summer, Ulf.

- Isn't this wonderful, Ebba? - What?

It's wonderful!

- Granddad's fart! - You shit!

Don't swear, Ulf. You'll have to brush your teeth twice tonight.

You can load the cart.

What are you doing!

Nice one, Uffe!

Dad...

Good day to you.

- Here we are. - I'm not blind.

Hello, Ebba. And to all of you as well.

- Did you bring half the town with you? - It's just essentials.

You shouldn't bring more than you can pull. Let go, Kurt.

Stand back from the cart.

- How are you otherwise? - What do you think?

How do you think it feels to get older with no field? Snails eat the berries.

A bumblebee kept me awake all night and now you've come.

- And you'll throw your stuff around. - Kurt!

I have waited so long. My dear!

- Ulf, what have you done? - He fell in at the jetty.

- Hello... Ebba, welcome! - Thanks.

The pancakes are almost ready.

Race you for the bed!

No, no!

Sorry, I won.

You always do. It's unfair!

- Doesn't it smell funny in here? - Yes.

You first.

One, two, three...

...four, come on... five...

Listen, boys, that's not a toy.

Tell granddad that the food's ready.

Hey!

- Food is ready. - Can't you see I'm busy?

It's pancakes!

- Good day. - Hello, Ulf.

- Good day. - Hello.

- Hello, is Klasse home? - He's busy... Okay, just for a bit.

- Hello. - Hello.

May as well take them out, I'm not in the mood.

What are you collecting this year? Animal shit?

No, beetles...

- How's it going? - So so... I've got 31.

- That's good. - Good? There's 300000 in the world.

And 4000 in Sweden alone.

Dad's crazy! I don't get a holiday until I've found them all.

- 4000! Gosh! - Yes...

- But I only need to find 35. - That's okay.

But it's impossible to find any more.

- Can't you help me? - Sure.

- Where are you going? - Ulf saw a dung beetle at the cafe.

No, wait!

So damn unfair! Why must I collect all this rubbish?

Why can't I have a summer holiday like the other children?

- What's up with you? - Who's that?

- You mean Pia? - Little Pia, that lives here?

- Of course! - Goodness, she's grown.

- May I have a cheese sandwich as well? - Yes.

- Hello. - Hello!

Nice back flip you did.

Don't stand there chatting, Pia. Put the coffee on.

- What would you like? - Two coffees.

- With sugar and cream. - And a Danish pastry?

No, don't have them, they're no good. Have a cinnamon roll.

- Sure. - Anything else?

- No... - Okay.

Eight...

Nine... ten...

- Hey, you're not bloody listening! - Yes, that was eleven.

Twelve... What a gas bag, he's in great shape!

Thirteen! A new record!

World record!

He really let that one fly! A wet one!

No, a gas attack.

It's over now.

In love, seven letters...

Space dog, five letters. That's easy.

How was it when you met mom?

- How do you mean? - How did it feel?

What can I say? Wonderful...

- In what way wonderful? - Please, can't I just do the crossword?

- Go and get a spanner. - No, come here with the skewer!

- What are you going to do with that? - I hate it.

Why?

Don't you see how much shadow it casts? Nothing can live in that shadow.

Look! This can live there.

- How's the beetle hunting going? - Badly. And the fishing?

Fine.

- I'm going fishing tomorrow. Come with. - I don't know if dad will let me.

Klasse, just tell him you're going to look for beetles over there.

- What kind is it? - I think I have it.

Ulf!

- Is it big? - Are you ready?

- For what? - To grab it. Jump in.

- But I've got clothes on! - Come on! Jump in!

- You got one? - Looks like it.

No!

- Grab it! Pull! Good, Uffe! - I've got it! No!

- Come on! - Come on, Uffe!

Go on!

Grab it!

- What are you doing? - Now, Uffe!

Well done!

Look, here's the stomach.

- And here's the heart. - Can't you laugh a bit?

I've got nothing to laugh at.

- Wasn't that funny? - No.

This, then?

Come to the cafe on Friday. I'll give you a kiss if you make me laugh.

Captain Smith searched his pocket vainly for change for the telephone -

- when a private passed by.

Captain Smith searched his pocket vainly for change for the telephone...

That'll be fine. It'll be very nice.

Goodbye.

- Ulf! I want to talk to you. - About what?

- You know who called? - No.

It was Percy's mother. She wondered what Percy should bring tomorrow.

She was happy he could be here so she could go camping with her husband.

- It's not possible tomorrow! - On your birthday and everything.

- I've got something very important on. - Why didn't you say anything?

- Is someone coming here? - A class mate of Ulf's.

He's nice. His name's Percy.

I'll be damned! Who asked me?

Another youngster?

You think this is a bloody hostel?

"A blustery 15th letter." Huh?

- What do you say? - How can you talk about that now!

- How many letters? - Six.

- Then I know it. - Me too.

- You don't know it! - We do!

You keep quiet, both of you!

- Is Percy coming here? - Apparently.

It's really inconsiderate what you did, Ulf.

I hope you understand that.

Hello, Ulf! Here I come!

We're going to have so much fun!

- Have you had that on all the time? - I didn't want to bloody drown!

- Is this where you swim? - Sometimes.

I promised dad I'd swim 15 meters. We made a bet.

- Can't we swim? - No, we're going to eat cake!

- Is that your granddad? - Yes.

- Hi! - What?

- I'm Percy. - Don't show off.

Why are you so irritated? It's Ulf's birthday.

I think we should cheer for Ulf. Ready?

Happy birthday!

I'm so glad that you could have me.

- We're happy you came. - Very happy!

- Where's he going to sleep? - We'll discuss that later, Jan.

- Where's my buttermilk? - Aren't you having cake?

I don't like cake, you know that.

Listen, Percy! Pour me a bowl of buttermilk. It's in the fridge.

The bowls are in the kitchen cupboard, spoons are in the drawer.

Put in one table spoon of sugar -

- and quite a lot of ginger.

Aye aye, Captain!

A table spoon of sugar...

And some ginger...

Blow out your candles and make a wish. Blow them all out.

Thanks.

- Well, what did you wish? - Can't say or it won't come true.

- It starts with "P" and ends in "ia"... - Starts in "shit" and ends in "head"!

Stop fighting!

What's wrong, dad?

- Having fun? - What?

What?

- What do you mean? - Why'd you use pepper and not ginger?

- He's never been here. - No, it was a joke!

- Joke? - Yes, don't you get the joke?

- Have you got no bloody respect? - What?

Bloody hell!

- Gottfried! - Dad!

Nice one, Uffe.

Sorry...

- Look there's loads! - Leave them alone. Granddad'll go nuts!

- What are they? - He made them. Grandma refused them.

This one's really nice.

It means faith, hope and love. Let's put them back.

"To my dear wife on her birthday."

- "1908. Gottfried." - What are you doing?!

- We were just putting them back. - I don't want to see them!

- Away with it! - I can polish them so they'll shine!

Good God! Away with you!

Don't touch that!

- What are you doing? - I'm fixing the chair as you can see.

- Shouldn't you glue it first? - You want me to unscrew it again?

Yes, so it's properly done.

You're right.

If you have time you can help me to straighten some nails.

- What's that? - What?

That? It's a potato peeling machine.

- Did you make it yourself? - Leave it alone.

Jesus Christ!

Captain Smith searched his pocket vainly for change...

Damn...

Captain Smith searched his pocket vainly for change for the telephone -

- when a young private walked by...

Passed...

Captain Smith searched his pocket vainly for change for the telephone -

- when a young private passed by. He rushed over to him and asked:

- Have you got change for the telephone? - Wait!

- Why'd you just leave? - There's something I must do.

- Then I'll come with. - No, I'd rather do it alone.

Aren't we blood brothers?

Hello.

- Hello. - Are you going to have something?

- Are you going to make me laugh? - No, that's why I came.

It must be postponed. This is Percy.

- Hi. - Hello.

His granddad broke a chair today. You should have seen it, it was funny.

Ulf's going to show me what to do here. Then we're going rowing and eating ants.

- Why must you talk so much? - Did I say something wrong?

No, but still.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Did you find any more? - No. I looked for ages.

There's only one missing. It's impossible.

- What's there only one left of? - Beetles. He collects them.

- What for? - 'Cause his dad said so.

- This is the nicest. - Yes, it's a golden beetle.

Take the dor beetle. I've got two of them.

- What are you going to do? - You'll see. It's a surprise.

What do you say now?

Your dad's never seen this one. Guaranteed!

Nice! Now I've got all my beetles.

- Come with to Uffe's. - No, I have to show this to dad.

One, two, three... Out, back and together...

One, two, three... Out, back and together...

- When are we starting with the arms? - When the legs are ready. Continue.

- Hello. - Hi.

- What are you doing? - Want to see something funny?

Isn't this funny?

- Wasn't that funny? Want to try? - No, it's disgusting!

- Where's Percy? - I'm teaching him how to swim.

- He's never been to the countryside. - Where is he, then?

Shit, he's over there! He's floating out!

- Percy! - Stop, turn around!

How?

- Swim to the side! - Percy!

- What should I do? - Jump in and get him.

- But... - Ulf!

- Are you scared? - It's better to go in over there.

Stop swimming!

- Are you nuts? - I couldn't turn around.

- What are you doing? - He's freezing cold.

- That's enough. - He could have drowned but for me.

- Why'd you swim over there? - Stop going on about it!

- Don't try so much with Pia. - What do you mean? I'm not trying.

- Just don't do it. - I can't help it if she rescued me.

- Promise! Promise me! - Forget about love now that I'm here.

Hey! Let bloody go of that! Give it here!

It's no toy!

Come on, boys, I'll show you how to handle a weapon.

Come on!

Line the pin up with the sight and pretend it's a squirrel or a crow.

- You don't shoot squirrels. - Don't talk rubbish! Shoot!

Good! Your turn.

Boom... Try again.

Good!

Down! Put it down!

- What on earth are you up to? - What?

I knew you were half crazy, but that you're a complete idiot!

Come on!

- Ebba, take it easy! - That's rich coming from you!

- You farted! - Cut it out, Percy.

- It was him! - It bloody wasn't. Shut up!

- It came from your direction. - I'm sick of you, you brat!

Percy, you'll sleep in my room. Up you get!

Good night!

Couldn't you take granddad's farting?

The sky is so different here. It's totally black.

- You can almost see every star. - Did you sleep here all night?

I mostly looked at the stars.

- What's his name? - Blackie.

- Is he always like this? - Yes.

He's totally wild. He breaks the stable twice a year. He can't be outside.

Jesus!

Blackie!

Blackie!

Shit! What are you kids doing?!

- Percy's saying hello to Blackie. - Stop it! I have to put a new plank in.

Are you tired?

Yes...

You get quite tired from being angry.

You're all warm.

Yes... You get like that when you're angry.

Do you think I'm fat?

- Yes. - That I am.

I'll show you something.

Blow.

- I've never seen that! - No...

It has no usefulness...

It's just foolishness.

Let me show you something.

- See this? - A coin...

Not just any coin. A silver dollar.

- You see the mark here? - Yes.

- That's where he hit it when he shot. - Who?

Buffalo Bill.

He was a scout and hunter in the wild west.

His real name was Cody, but he called himself Buffalo Bill.

- When did you meet him? - Long ago... in London

He was traveling with his Wild West Circus.

I saw them three times.

- Was it good? - Good?

It was the greatest thing I've ever experienced.

Wild buffalos rushed by so...

...they were almost in you lap. Loads of Indians... Cowboys...

Buffalo Bill sat on his white horse. He was the best shot.

He threw up coins and shot at them.

I caught this in the air... as it whizzed past.

Afterwards I asked if he wanted it back.

- Just keep it. - Did you talk to him?

Of course. He had white gloves.

Nice to meet you.

Then I got his photo and asked if he'd write something to grandma on it.

To Erika with love, Buffalo Bill.

She said she'd never seen...

...a more handsome man.

- Why've you never told me this? - What?

Never had the occasion.

Here! Here are his memoirs.

Sit over there.

I would liked to have read it to you, but I see so badly.

- Could you, Percy? - No, he always stumbles in class.

- Where should I start? - From the beginning.

"The setting of our tale is a wonderful vall..."

..."valley crossed by a crystal clear river" -

- "with green hills and a brown mountain in the dis... distance."

Mountain in the distance. Continue.

"And strewn with blockhouses all lit by..."

Go on...

- Aren't you going to bed? - Yes.

How are you?

Don't be sad.

Things are going well with Percy.

Aren't they?

Assembly halls... ten letters, Ulf?

- Have you got all the beetles now? - Yes.

- How'd you think of making your own one? - Don't know.

Don't know, says Einstein. Dad went nuts and started looking in all these books.

And I got five crowns! Here, Percy. You earned it.

- No, keep it. I didn't do it for money. - Are we playing or what?

One, two, three, four, five, six...

...ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen...

Are you going to hide in there?

- Where are you going to hide? - Don't know, but find your own.

- Ouch, nettles! - I told you not to follow me.

How'd I know you were here?

- Want to hear a joke? - No.

- Why not? - Don't feel like it.

But it's really funny.

- Captain Smith searched his pocket... - I can't be here!

Found you, Pia!

One, two, three... Pia, you're on.

- No I'm not, it's his fault. - I just tried to tell a funny story.

- I don't like them, they're not funny. - What's wrong with them? Like this one:

Captain Smith searched his pocket vainly for change for the telephone -

- when a young private passed by.

He rushed over to him and asked, have you got change for the telephone?

No problem, I'll see what I can do.

Don't you know how to speak to an officer? Do it again!

Have you got change for the telephone? No, captain!

I was supposed to tell that story.

- She laughed, that's the main thing. - Still, it wasn't nice.

No, but can't we stop talking about that now.

- What are you doing? - I'm bathing his rash.

- How'd he get that? - He jumped into nettles.

- Why? - Have you never been in love?

Yes...

- Why don't you ever hug each other? - Right, I think that's enough.

- You should do, anyway. - You keep quiet, now!

- He hates that stone. - Where's it come from?

I don't know... It was probably God who threw it down there.

The Lord caused stones to rain down -

- on the army of Ammon.

Ammon...

I think that's how granddad got his stone.

Uffe? Uffe, wake up...

Wake up, Uffe. Listen, wake up!

- What is it? - Come and see something funny.

- What? - Just something funny. Come on!

Now you're going to see something!

You should have seen it. Like a flamethrower right out his backside!

He didn't even wake up!

So here you are... And you're eating a hot dog.

- Can't he just have a normal holiday? - Have your parents taught you anything?

Come home with me.

- What did he do? - He's been grounded.

- Why? - His dad found out about the beetle.

- Is this what you do every summer? - Yes, what about it?

- You just watch? - Yes.

What else would you do?

I'm not just going to watch.

- You want some lemonade? - No.

- You dance well. - Thanks.

- What is it? Don't you like to dance? - Yes, I like to dance.

Come on.

What is it? Cut it out!

What are you doing?

- Why'd you dance with her? - I'm not interested in her!

- You are! I can see it! - Stop it... Let me go!

Damn you!

Why couldn't you have come last year? Or next year.

- She suddenly just ignores me. - No she doesn't.

- Yes, I don't understand what it is. - It's the best summer I've had, anyway.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

You can hit me back.

- I'll talk to her, I promise. - About what?

- What are we going to do now? - It's probably best if I go alone.

- Hello. - Hi.

- I've thought about Ulf. - What?

I thought you could be together.

- Yes? - A packet of biscuits, please.

Did you hear?

He's a little slow in the beginning, but when you get to know him he's the best.

I haven't got time, and anyway I'm not in love with him.

He's standing out there waiting.

- But it's impossible! - In what way impossible?

Just impossible.

Like riding Blackie. You understand?

- What did you talk about? - She said she didn't have time.

- Didn't have time for what? - For love...

- What else did she say? - That was it.

But you spoke for ages...

Hey... fetch the little spanner and more rags.

Do it yourself!

- What's up with him? - He's unhappily in love.

Ulf! Come here. Come.

Let me look at you.

- What's her name? - Pia.

- Is she in love with you? - I don't know.

You don't know?

What do you think?

I don't think she is...

Lift it!

Take that side.

Right... Over to you.

Does that feel better?

No...

Yes, well... it's different.

Aren't you coming?

No, I'll stay here.

- Aren't you coming in? - No.

- You want me to sit here? - No, I want to be alone.

- Did you want anything in particular? - No.

I was just thinking of something.

I can't sleep in the mornings either.

Could granddad have done anything to make you really love him?

Well... I don't know.

He could have spent more time with the children, perhaps.

Or...

If he'd ever done something unexpected.

- What if he'd been like Buffalo Bill? - Buffalo Bill? Yes...

Yes, maybe...

He had a really handsome moustache. Would you like to see?

Handsome, huh?

- Have any of you seen Percy? - No...

Well, go and find him.

Here... Another carrot? No!

- Is Pia here? - No, why would she be?

- What are you doing here, then? - Saying hello to Blackie.

- Come and say hello. - No.

He's not dangerous, I promise.

Don't be such a coward.

Come. Come on... It's just Uffe.

My best friend, the one I've been talking about. No need to be afraid.

That's it...

- You know what? - No...

I've got a great idea.

Look, Ulf's riding Blackie!

- You think it will work? - Of course.

- He who dares wins as dad usually says. - Yes...

- Hi. - Hello.

- Can't you come outside? - Why?

It's a surprise.

You said it was as impossible as riding Blackie, but it isn't.

What do you say now?

See for yourself.

God, you are both so silly!

Don't you understand that it's you I like?!

- Food's ready. Come and eat. - Can't you see I'm busy?

- What are you doing today? - Nothing.

- You must be doing something... - Not with him, he just lies.

- I didn't even say he should come here! - I think it's good he came.

Not for me. You just care about him. What's so special about him?

- No one here wanted him to come. - Stop it, Ulf.

- Why did you say that? - Where's he going?

- I hope he went home. - Jan!

Pass me the peas.

Uffe...

Uffe!

Must you be like that?

It's no fun. It's really sad, actually.

We could continue our swimming lessons...

I heard you boys went riding.

One thousand and one, one thousand and two...

It's coming closer!

Away from the table. All of you!

- Lightning could strike the chandelier. - It won't.

- You do as I say! - Boys!

I'm going to finish eating.

You hear, grandma? Even closer. It'll be here soon.

- You see that? - Stop it, Ulf.

You know grandma is afraid. Don't be afraid...

- God will take care of us. - God doesn't give a damn!

- You should not affront God, Ulf! - He affronts me!

- God is love, don't you know that? - What do you know about love?

You can't even love granddad like he loves you!

Now you shut your mouth!

I'm going out to wash my feet...

And when I come back I don't want to hear that you've even said peep!

Dad, what is it?

The damn lightning struck my feet...

My dear beloved...

What did you say? Do you love me?

- Please... - You said...

- Gottfried... - Do you love me?

Do you love me? Yes or no...

I don't know...

It's probably a stroke. He should get to a hospital as fast as possible.

Of course. Naturally...

Don't be like that, dad. You must go.

I don't want to...

- He will stay here. - Mum!

Don't be afraid. I'll take care of you.

- Shall I read Buffalo Bill to you? - No, not now...

- Maybe he just wants to rest. - Yes...

"It's likely that both Wild Bill and l" -

- "drank more than we could take that evening."

"General Carr said to me..."

- Cody... - "Cody... There's game in these parts."

"You can hunt whilst we camp here."

"The hunt was a success for me. I shot..."

It was 27 antelopes...

27 antelopes...

That's enough. Can you fetch me a glass of water?

- Can't we go swimming? - It's your fault.

If you hadn't been here, this wouldn't have happened.

27 antelopes...

Gottfried, my dear... You should lie down.

You must take it easy.

I think you should go home.

- Can't we be friends? - You've messed it all up this summer!

If you hadn't been here, maybe she'd like me.

She wouldn't anyway, dummy.

- I don't want you here anyway. - We're blood brothers!

I don't want to be anymore.

- Aren't I more important? - No, you're not.

Jesus, and you were going to teach me to swim!

Go on, go away! I don't want you here ever again!

It never turns out the way one imagines.

No, but it's just he's so stupid.

Ulf, come here.

- You're becoming like me. - No I'm not.

Yes, you are. As stubborn, angry and bitter...

It's no fun living with someone like that.

You know what I've been thinking about?

So many years -

- that I've wasted for myself and grandma...

And then I see that you're doing the same thing.

Do you know what it is to love?

That's what you should be. Someone who loves and gives.

Pass me the mirror.

- Is that what I look like? - You've got a beard and moustache.

See you tomorrow.

Have you seen Percy?

No, he left.

I think he took the morning boat.

Shit!

Wait!

Wait Percy! Don't go!

Percy! Wait!

Percy! Turn around!

Come back!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said.

Please, we're blood brothers!

I don't care about Pia. Just stay!

Damnit, come back!

- Thanks! - Here you go.

- I'm sorry... - You were going to teach me to swim!

- It's no good, it won't work. - Of course it will.

Just think of your arms.

No, there's no point.

Breathe in...

Breathe out...

Breathe in...

Breathe out...

You see, I did it! I swam 15 meters!

- No. - Yes, I did!

No, you swam 30. You swam back as well.

Yes, I can swim!

Aren't you going to give Buffalo Bill a kiss?

- Okay boys, are you ready? - Yes.

Good. Jacket.

Gun.

Hat.

Well, boys, now the circus begins!

Yes... Here, here is good.

- Take it easy, granddad. - Yes...

And now ladies and gentlemen...

- Look around... - At what?

Don't you see? Haven't you got any imagination?

- Use your imagination! - What?

Look!

- Throw it! - What?

Throw it... throw... throw it...

Percy?

- Take care. - You too.

God, what a great summer this has been!

- Bye, Klasse. - Bye, Percy. See you around.

- Bye. - Bye.

You forgot your bag!

- Bye, Percy. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Where are you going? - I have homework.

See you...

Bye! See you in town!

- Shall we go fishing some time? - Yes, but I'm not in love with you.

Yes, I know. You're in love with Percy.

- But he's not in love with you. - I know...

Bye Buffalo Bill!

Goodbye, Percy!

Translation: Alexander Keiller