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1
00:00:01,497 --> 00:00:03,497
- Neil!
- Yes, honey?
2
00:00:03,859 --> 00:00:05,432
Neil deGrasse Tyson,
3
00:00:05,528 --> 00:00:07,528
I asked you
to take the dog out for a walk.
4
00:00:07,617 --> 00:00:10,068
I left the house
four hours ago.
5
00:00:10,123 --> 00:00:12,622
Now, I come back, and
this little mother[bleep] Sputnik
6
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,585
has done pissed
on my drapes.
7
00:00:14,904 --> 00:00:16,571
Now I've got to get rid
of those things
8
00:00:16,656 --> 00:00:17,738
and get new ones.
9
00:00:17,874 --> 00:00:19,874
Neil, it doesn't
make any sense.
10
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,909
You are
an astrophysicist.
11
00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:25,721
How can you not keep track
of little details like this?
12
00:00:27,512 --> 00:00:30,230
Well, actually,
13
00:00:30,587 --> 00:00:31,919
it's the little details
14
00:00:32,005 --> 00:00:35,089
that cannot be kept track of,
by definition.
15
00:00:35,225 --> 00:00:39,010
In 1927, a German
university lecturer
16
00:00:39,095 --> 00:00:40,728
named Werner Heisenberg
17
00:00:40,813 --> 00:00:44,482
came to a seemingly
paradoxical conclusion,
18
00:00:44,601 --> 00:00:47,101
that the more we know
about the position
19
00:00:47,187 --> 00:00:48,936
of a particle
in physical space,
20
00:00:49,072 --> 00:00:52,156
the less we know about
its momentum, and vice versa.
21
00:00:52,275 --> 00:00:53,824
Okay, but what--
what does that have to do--
22
00:00:53,943 --> 00:00:56,110
Taken in conjunction
with what we know
23
00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:58,446
about the expansion
of the universe,
24
00:00:58,581 --> 00:01:01,782
this brings us
to a fascinating possibility,
25
00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:06,037
that maybe what we experience
as one point in time-space
26
00:01:06,122 --> 00:01:09,207
could actually be
a legion of points,
27
00:01:09,292 --> 00:01:11,926
which would mean
that your curtains
28
00:01:12,011 --> 00:01:13,711
and little Sputnik's pee-pee
29
00:01:13,796 --> 00:01:15,763
could be as distant
from one another
30
00:01:15,848 --> 00:01:19,300
as we are
from the furthest galaxy.
31
00:01:21,971 --> 00:01:23,437
Okay.
32
00:01:25,475 --> 00:01:29,277
Well, just...
next time.
33
00:01:32,148 --> 00:01:33,814
Of course, dear.
34
00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:36,817
(haunting Western music)
35
00:01:36,903 --> 00:01:38,930
36
00:01:55,455 --> 00:01:58,884
Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
37
00:02:02,812 --> 00:02:05,680
At some point, man,
I got to, like,
38
00:02:05,815 --> 00:02:09,684
slip some-- some-- some weed
into, like,
39
00:02:09,819 --> 00:02:12,019
some of your cookies
or something,
40
00:02:12,155 --> 00:02:14,021
and just, like,
get you high, man.
41
00:02:14,157 --> 00:02:15,189
Yeah, that would not be
42
00:02:15,275 --> 00:02:16,691
the worst thing
that ever happened.
43
00:02:16,776 --> 00:02:17,858
That might be fun.
44
00:02:17,944 --> 00:02:20,444
(sinister laugh)
Also ecstasy.
45
00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:22,530
- I don't know about all that.
- Heroin.
46
00:02:22,615 --> 00:02:24,081
Maybe I'll have
a little marijuana.
47
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,366
Laced with acid.
48
00:02:25,451 --> 00:02:26,534
No, thank you.
49
00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:35,960
Welcome to the team,
Mr. Wise.
50
00:02:36,045 --> 00:02:37,345
Thank you.
51
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:41,716
Now, being an Arizona
Assistant State's Attorney
52
00:02:41,801 --> 00:02:43,134
is an important job,
53
00:02:43,219 --> 00:02:44,852
one we take
very seriously.
54
00:02:44,937 --> 00:02:48,889
In fact, we are willing
to do anything to win.
55
00:02:48,975 --> 00:02:50,057
It's my honor, sir.
56
00:02:50,193 --> 00:02:51,859
And I look forward to serving
the state of Arizona.
57
00:02:51,944 --> 00:02:53,394
Are these marbles?
58
00:02:53,529 --> 00:02:55,112
How's that?
59
00:02:55,231 --> 00:02:58,816
I was just admiring
your container of marbles.
60
00:02:58,901 --> 00:03:00,484
Why, yes.
61
00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:03,154
My wife got them for me
as a gift...
62
00:03:03,239 --> 00:03:04,372
Oh.
63
00:03:04,457 --> 00:03:06,407
For my birthday.
64
00:03:06,542 --> 00:03:08,576
Which brings me
to a speech
65
00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:11,746
I like to give anyone
on their first day
66
00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:14,382
here at
the state's attorney office
67
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,500
of Arizona.
68
00:03:16,586 --> 00:03:19,754
You see...
Lady Justice
69
00:03:19,889 --> 00:03:21,305
is a committed woman.
70
00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:23,391
She's a slippery
little scallop,
71
00:03:23,476 --> 00:03:24,925
as you can observe...
72
00:03:25,011 --> 00:03:27,928
(dramatic music)
73
00:03:28,014 --> 00:03:31,482
74
00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:32,933
She doesn't cook,
doesn't clean,
75
00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:36,270
but what she does do,
is she'll turn a blind eye...
76
00:03:36,356 --> 00:03:40,166
77
00:03:45,031 --> 00:03:46,997
What is going on?
78
00:03:47,116 --> 00:03:47,998
What?
79
00:03:48,117 --> 00:03:49,367
What are you doing?
80
00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:50,751
Oh, uh...
81
00:03:50,837 --> 00:03:52,336
I don't--
82
00:03:52,455 --> 00:03:53,754
The marbles, they're just--
83
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,257
I got to tell you,
they're just so beautiful.
84
00:03:56,342 --> 00:03:57,842
I was wondering
what it would feel like
85
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,293
to--in my mouth.
86
00:03:59,379 --> 00:04:00,628
Like, what would
the marbles feel like
87
00:04:00,763 --> 00:04:01,629
if they were in my mouth?
88
00:04:01,764 --> 00:04:04,098
(laughs)
That's... You know.
89
00:04:04,183 --> 00:04:05,549
What?
90
00:04:05,635 --> 00:04:07,551
Just, you know... you know.
91
00:04:07,637 --> 00:04:08,853
Like, just what would
it feel like
92
00:04:08,971 --> 00:04:11,472
if there were just kind of
a whole ton of marbles
93
00:04:11,557 --> 00:04:14,475
in my-- in my face.
94
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,727
Well, don't do that.
95
00:04:16,813 --> 00:04:18,195
Just...
96
00:04:18,314 --> 00:04:19,230
Just don't do that.
97
00:04:19,315 --> 00:04:22,149
Yeah, yeah, of course,
of course.
98
00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:23,734
What am I doing over here?
99
00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:26,203
I mean, that's a thing
that a child would do, it is.
100
00:04:26,322 --> 00:04:29,206
You were saying?
101
00:04:29,325 --> 00:04:31,826
I was saying
that Lady Justice,
102
00:04:31,911 --> 00:04:35,045
she just stands there
in my office,
103
00:04:35,164 --> 00:04:36,547
looking at me.
104
00:04:36,666 --> 00:04:40,732
105
00:04:59,522 --> 00:05:01,906
Hey!
106
00:05:02,024 --> 00:05:04,325
Forget the marbles, boy!
107
00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:09,079
Spit the marbles out,
please.
108
00:05:09,198 --> 00:05:11,365
There you go.
109
00:05:11,451 --> 00:05:14,452
(marbles clacking)
110
00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:20,040
Well...
111
00:05:20,126 --> 00:05:21,208
All right.
112
00:05:23,679 --> 00:05:24,879
Ah--
113
00:05:26,716 --> 00:05:27,715
(marble clacks)
114
00:05:30,102 --> 00:05:32,520
How many--really?
115
00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:35,356
Do you have any--
116
00:05:35,441 --> 00:05:36,524
(marble rolling)
117
00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:38,359
(stomps)
118
00:05:38,444 --> 00:05:40,861
I'm gonna wait
for the last--
119
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:41,862
I'm assuming there's--
120
00:05:41,948 --> 00:05:44,815
Yeah.
121
00:05:44,901 --> 00:05:47,401
I know there's another one
in there.
122
00:05:50,907 --> 00:05:52,873
- Nope.
- All right.
123
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,577
I am so-- I'm-- They're just
so beautiful.
124
00:05:56,662 --> 00:05:57,912
I can't--
It's just these marbles.
125
00:05:58,047 --> 00:05:59,296
I got to tell you.
126
00:05:59,415 --> 00:06:00,748
You obviously don't
take this job very seriously.
127
00:06:00,883 --> 00:06:01,749
I do, sir.
128
00:06:01,884 --> 00:06:03,133
It's just these
particular marbles.
129
00:06:03,252 --> 00:06:04,385
I just needed to feel
130
00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:06,003
what they felt like
in my mouth.
131
00:06:06,088 --> 00:06:08,339
I don't know what is wrong
with me.
132
00:06:08,424 --> 00:06:10,090
You know we do serious
business here, right?
133
00:06:10,176 --> 00:06:11,175
Yes, I do know that.
134
00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:12,476
I'm 100% aware of that.
135
00:06:12,595 --> 00:06:14,428
'cause I've forgotten
where I was.
136
00:06:14,514 --> 00:06:15,646
You were saying that Justice
137
00:06:15,765 --> 00:06:17,648
is a dumb, blind, old lady.
I heard every word.
138
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:18,649
Yes-- No!
139
00:06:18,768 --> 00:06:21,101
She's not dumb.
140
00:06:23,105 --> 00:06:24,822
But she is blind.
141
00:06:24,941 --> 00:06:27,525
She's reminiscent
of Kerry Washington
142
00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:28,526
in her prime.
143
00:06:28,611 --> 00:06:32,502
144
00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:39,036
Good God.
145
00:06:39,121 --> 00:06:42,756
(muffled shouting)
146
00:06:42,842 --> 00:06:44,842
(muffled yelping)
147
00:06:44,961 --> 00:06:47,962
(muffled shouting)
148
00:06:50,883 --> 00:06:54,134
(coughing)
149
00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:55,519
(choking)
150
00:06:55,638 --> 00:06:57,471
(muffled groaning)
151
00:06:57,607 --> 00:06:59,940
(choking)
152
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,146
(marbles clattering)
153
00:07:06,282 --> 00:07:09,149
(atmospheric choral music)
154
00:07:09,285 --> 00:07:13,280
155
00:07:16,909 --> 00:07:17,825
(intercom beeps)
156
00:07:17,910 --> 00:07:22,630
Janice, send in
the cleanup crew.
157
00:07:22,715 --> 00:07:26,967
Another one fell
for the marble trick.
158
00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:29,803
(chuckling)
159
00:07:31,507 --> 00:07:33,807
(humming)
160
00:07:40,545 --> 00:07:42,659
Oh, man, I feel like crap.
161
00:07:42,794 --> 00:07:44,917
I just came from
a trashy Indian restaurant
162
00:07:44,991 --> 00:07:46,015
in a strip mall.
163
00:07:46,054 --> 00:07:47,219
Not bad food, though.
164
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:48,615
Got pretty lucky.
165
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:51,034
Got the hottest,
baddest curry
166
00:07:51,119 --> 00:07:52,953
I ever ate in my life.
167
00:07:53,038 --> 00:07:55,171
Place called Naan Sense,
Indian joint,
168
00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,790
just, like, Terminal 3.
169
00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:58,124
It's like, I'm going
170
00:07:58,210 --> 00:08:00,427
to my brother's wedding
on Sunday, and it's like,
171
00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:02,012
I don't even want to go.
172
00:08:02,097 --> 00:08:03,096
I don't even like my brother.
173
00:08:03,215 --> 00:08:04,547
My brother's, like, a jerk.
174
00:08:04,633 --> 00:08:05,849
Don't like his wife.
175
00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:06,883
She's, like, a bitch.
176
00:08:06,969 --> 00:08:07,884
(rumbling)
177
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:08,885
I stayed with them
for, like, three weeks.
178
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,887
She was a bitch
to me, man.
179
00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:12,639
I put my feet
on her coffee table.
180
00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:14,524
She was like, "Don't get
your feet on my coffee--"
181
00:08:14,626 --> 00:08:15,642
I'm like, "Who are you?"
182
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:16,893
(demonic growling)
183
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:17,978
(rumbling)
Scrimps.
184
00:08:18,063 --> 00:08:20,030
A ginger broad, man, like...
185
00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:21,064
(rumbling)
Scrimps.
186
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:22,232
Those are the worst people
on the planet.
187
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:23,400
So I said that to him.
188
00:08:23,485 --> 00:08:24,784
I said that to him
in the parking lot.
189
00:08:24,903 --> 00:08:26,903
I cornered him
a little bit, sure.
190
00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:29,072
(demonic voice)
Scrimps.
191
00:08:29,207 --> 00:08:30,073
He swung on me.
192
00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:31,408
Can you believe that?
193
00:08:31,543 --> 00:08:33,493
It's like, who sings
on their own brother, man?
194
00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:34,794
Yeah, I swung back...
195
00:08:34,913 --> 00:08:37,580
(demonic growling)
196
00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:38,915
But that's cool, you know.
197
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,216
It's like, I haven't
seen him for a while,
198
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:43,136
but now I got this expensive
wedding I have to go to.
199
00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:44,304
So it's crazy.
200
00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,089
I got to get my tickets,
201
00:08:46,224 --> 00:08:47,474
and that's a whole situation.
202
00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:48,725
I hate doing that.
203
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:50,010
And-- Hold on a second.
204
00:08:50,095 --> 00:08:52,762
Hey, hey, pal pal.
205
00:08:52,848 --> 00:08:54,264
Start on
the downstairs bits.
206
00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:56,182
I'm in the middle
of a conversation up here.
207
00:08:56,268 --> 00:08:58,435
(rumbling)
208
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,404
- Hey.
- Of course, of course.
209
00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:02,439
Whatever you say.
210
00:09:02,524 --> 00:09:04,574
Thank you.
211
00:09:04,659 --> 00:09:05,608
Sorry about that.
212
00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:07,777
Just have
a little guy here
213
00:09:07,913 --> 00:09:09,746
working on my suit...
214
00:09:09,831 --> 00:09:13,033
(demonic voice)
From the eternal, from within.
215
00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:15,035
You know, I mean, there's always
chicks at the wedding, right?
216
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,670
There is a guy in there.
217
00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:19,172
- The answer is yes.
- (muttering nervously)
218
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,091
And hopefully, you know,
I can get, like,
219
00:09:21,176 --> 00:09:22,459
two down in one evening,
you know?
220
00:09:22,594 --> 00:09:23,626
(exhales)
221
00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:25,295
And speaking of
"two down in one evening,"
222
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:28,798
if they've got popcorn shrimp
and little lobster rolls,
223
00:09:28,884 --> 00:09:30,050
I'm a happy man.
224
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:32,802
But they're not
going to have that...
225
00:09:32,888 --> 00:09:34,554
(demonic voice)
Stop!
226
00:09:34,639 --> 00:09:36,973
Who goes there?
227
00:09:40,612 --> 00:09:42,145
Sal.
228
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,897
My name is Sal.
229
00:09:43,982 --> 00:09:46,866
(demonic voice)
Sal... The end is near.
230
00:09:46,985 --> 00:09:48,151
What?
231
00:09:48,286 --> 00:09:49,819
Why-- What--
(stammering)
232
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:50,954
What do you mean?
233
00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:53,039
(demonic voice)
Everything is changing.
234
00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:54,074
What do you mean?
235
00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:56,743
(demonic voice)
The end is near, Sal.
236
00:09:56,828 --> 00:09:58,128
No, I don't know
what you mean.
237
00:09:58,213 --> 00:09:59,129
What do you mean?
238
00:09:59,214 --> 00:10:00,330
I don't want to die!
239
00:10:00,415 --> 00:10:01,498
(demonic voice)
There's nothing you can do.
240
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:02,966
The end is near.
241
00:10:03,051 --> 00:10:05,218
Everything is changing.
242
00:10:05,337 --> 00:10:08,054
From the eternal,
from within.
243
00:10:08,173 --> 00:10:09,556
No, I don't want to die!
244
00:10:09,674 --> 00:10:11,007
What do you mean?
245
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:12,725
(demonic voice)
The end is near.
246
00:10:12,844 --> 00:10:15,011
What?
247
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:16,513
(squeaky fart)
248
00:10:18,163 --> 00:10:19,349
Sorry about that, man.
249
00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:20,683
Of course.
250
00:10:20,769 --> 00:10:21,818
(bell chimes)
251
00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:24,354
Change is coming.
252
00:10:26,108 --> 00:10:27,891
(bell chimes)
253
00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:32,912
The craziest part
of all of this,
254
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,414
I actually am
on acid right now.
255
00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:35,415
Are you right now?
256
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:36,416
- Yeah.
- Wow.
257
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,168
Like, for instance,
I don't even--
258
00:10:38,253 --> 00:10:40,086
I'm 90% sure you're here.
259
00:10:40,205 --> 00:10:41,538
(laughs)
260
00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:43,373
But if I shut my eyes
and you weren't,
261
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:44,791
I would not be surprised.
262
00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:46,126
You would not be surprised
263
00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:48,044
if this car just kind of
lifted off in the air
264
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,879
and just started driving
through space
265
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,047
with a rainbow trail.
266
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:53,516
- Mm-hmm.
- You would not be surprised.
267
00:10:53,602 --> 00:10:57,387
Hey, none of this is real,
man.
268
00:10:57,472 --> 00:10:59,639
None of this is real,
okay?
269
00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:01,191
Just surface--
270
00:11:01,276 --> 00:11:03,443
(screaming)
271
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:07,697
- Yo.
- What's up?
272
00:11:07,782 --> 00:11:08,815
Game of Thrones,
though, dog.
273
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,617
Yo, you all caught up?
274
00:11:10,735 --> 00:11:11,951
Yo, I totally binge-watched
275
00:11:12,003 --> 00:11:13,403
that whole thing
last night, dog.
276
00:11:13,538 --> 00:11:16,289
Yo, it's cold-blooded
up in Westeros, dog.
277
00:11:16,408 --> 00:11:18,408
They killed my [bleep] Ned!
278
00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:19,792
Ned Starks?
279
00:11:19,911 --> 00:11:23,163
(hums Game of Thrones
theme song)
280
00:11:23,248 --> 00:11:24,714
You ain't see that one
coming, did you?
281
00:11:24,799 --> 00:11:26,416
- Oh, [bleep], hell no.
- Uh-uh.
282
00:11:26,551 --> 00:11:27,584
- Oh, my God.
- Uh-uh.
283
00:11:27,669 --> 00:11:29,385
I mean, my man
was just there, right?
284
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:30,920
And he got down there
on the thing.
285
00:11:31,006 --> 00:11:32,255
- Like blip.
- (makes sword noise)
286
00:11:32,302 --> 00:11:33,554
And then I was like,
"I ain't worried.
287
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,058
They ain't gonna kill
my boy Ned Starks!"
288
00:11:35,143 --> 00:11:36,309
- Slit.
- And then plop.
289
00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:37,310
I was like...
290
00:11:37,429 --> 00:11:38,561
(screaming)
291
00:11:38,647 --> 00:11:40,597
Yo, I told you they
cold-blooded up in there.
292
00:11:40,629 --> 00:11:41,898
And then I was like,
"But that's okay,
293
00:11:41,983 --> 00:11:43,816
because I still got
my [bleep] Khal Drogos."
294
00:11:43,935 --> 00:11:44,934
Big Dave Navarro?
295
00:11:44,957 --> 00:11:45,935
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
296
00:11:46,071 --> 00:11:47,070
Big Dave Navarro?
297
00:11:47,155 --> 00:11:49,439
Widdly-widdly-widdly
widdly-wow!
298
00:11:49,524 --> 00:11:51,157
Yeah, that dude picked up
some molten gold,
299
00:11:51,276 --> 00:11:52,525
poured it
on [bleep] heads.
300
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:53,693
(screaming)
301
00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:55,078
"I want to sleep
with my sister!"
302
00:11:55,163 --> 00:11:56,079
Yo.
303
00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:57,125
And he killed him, right?
304
00:11:57,154 --> 00:11:58,665
I mean, he big like Hercules
and everything.
305
00:11:58,783 --> 00:12:00,283
I'm like, you can't
kill Khal Drogos
306
00:12:00,368 --> 00:12:01,284
with a paper cut.
307
00:12:01,369 --> 00:12:02,418
An infected scratch
up on there?
308
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:03,620
An infected scratch!
309
00:12:03,755 --> 00:12:04,954
- But he got straight...
- (both) killed!
310
00:12:05,002 --> 00:12:06,956
Yo, but you know who my
favorite character is, dog?
311
00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:07,957
Who's that, dog?
312
00:12:08,093 --> 00:12:09,092
Pssst!
Khaleesies.
313
00:12:09,177 --> 00:12:10,210
Khaleesi.
314
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:12,128
You know I be liking
some Khaleesies, dog.
315
00:12:12,214 --> 00:12:13,963
But what about Khaleesies
316
00:12:14,099 --> 00:12:15,465
straight-up
with the dragons?
317
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:16,849
Oh, it's--
318
00:12:16,968 --> 00:12:18,468
Khaleesies
with the dragons.
319
00:12:18,553 --> 00:12:20,186
And Khaleesi's
all like this.
320
00:12:20,305 --> 00:12:22,722
And then we talking about--
(screeching)
321
00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:23,723
(screeching)
322
00:12:23,808 --> 00:12:24,974
(both screeching)
323
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:25,975
Whoosh!
324
00:12:26,111 --> 00:12:27,143
Just straight
roasting goats!
325
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,144
Yo!
326
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,229
Oh, my God.
327
00:12:29,314 --> 00:12:30,363
And that's when they start
328
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,315
killing characters
left and right, dog!
329
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,150
- At the wedding?
- Yo, at the wedding!
330
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:35,151
- Robb Starks.
- What?
331
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:36,152
- His wife.
- What?
332
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:37,570
- They got his mama!
- Yo!
333
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,706
(both)
Killed, killed, killed, killed!
334
00:12:39,824 --> 00:12:40,823
That was a four-for-one, dog.
335
00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:41,991
Four-for-one up there, dog.
336
00:12:42,127 --> 00:12:42,992
That's a straight
four-for-one, dog.
337
00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:44,077
Four-for-one up in there.
338
00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:45,078
What about when they
got wildlings girl?
339
00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:46,079
Talking about...
340
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:47,830
"You know nothing,
Jon Snow."
341
00:12:47,966 --> 00:12:49,549
- Screek!
- Guh!
342
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:50,550
(both)
Killed!
343
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:51,551
What about the Hound, though?
344
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:52,552
- Yo!
- The Hound!
345
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:54,003
"Ah, I'm falling
down the hill!"
346
00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:55,338
(indistinct shouting)
347
00:12:55,423 --> 00:12:56,506
(humming)
348
00:12:56,641 --> 00:12:57,507
"Kill me!
349
00:12:57,642 --> 00:12:58,975
You've got to kill me!"
350
00:12:59,060 --> 00:12:59,976
(high-pitched)
"No!"
351
00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:01,010
(both)
Killed!
352
00:13:01,096 --> 00:13:02,011
Slowly, by omission.
353
00:13:02,097 --> 00:13:03,146
Bingo.
354
00:13:03,231 --> 00:13:04,647
Yo, what about my man
Taiwan Lannisters?
355
00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:05,682
Taiwan Lannisters.
356
00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:06,733
Taiwan Lannisters!
357
00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:07,934
What about Taiwan Lannisters,
dog?
358
00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:09,152
Yo, my man talking about,
359
00:13:09,237 --> 00:13:10,570
"I'm taking a [bleep]."
360
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:13,406
He's like--ow!
361
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:14,440
(both)
Killed!
362
00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:15,441
By his own son.
363
00:13:15,527 --> 00:13:16,526
What?
364
00:13:16,661 --> 00:13:17,527
Da Dinkles.
365
00:13:17,662 --> 00:13:18,528
(gasps)
366
00:13:18,663 --> 00:13:19,529
Da Dinkles.
367
00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:20,530
Da Dinkles, yo.
368
00:13:20,665 --> 00:13:21,864
Da Dinkles.
369
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:22,865
Da Dinkles!
370
00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:24,167
Dinkles is my jam.
371
00:13:24,252 --> 00:13:25,585
Can't nobody kill da Dinkles!
372
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:27,120
Da Dinkles is my jam,
my jelly,
373
00:13:27,205 --> 00:13:28,671
my peanut butter,
and my peanuts.
374
00:13:28,757 --> 00:13:30,089
- Dinkles.
- Da Dinkles.
375
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:31,874
Dinkles, though!
376
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:37,263
(both)
Dinkles is my [bleep]!
377
00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:40,266
(voices fading)
378
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:42,685
(dramatic music)
379
00:13:46,811 --> 00:13:48,680
Neil!
380
00:13:49,981 --> 00:13:51,648
There you are.
381
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:52,865
What are you doing?
382
00:13:52,984 --> 00:13:55,318
We have to go
to my Aunt Nelly's funeral.
383
00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:57,654
How are you not ready?
384
00:13:58,014 --> 00:14:00,431
I've been talking to you
about this all week.
385
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,303
How am I gonna find you
in your boxers
386
00:14:02,372 --> 00:14:04,294
looking in
a science magazine?
387
00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:05,328
(sighs)
388
00:14:05,463 --> 00:14:07,080
I swear, Neil,
389
00:14:07,165 --> 00:14:08,381
sometimes I think
390
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:11,198
you don't have any idea
of what's important.
391
00:14:12,387 --> 00:14:15,338
Well...actually...
392
00:14:15,423 --> 00:14:17,674
an idea of what's important
393
00:14:17,759 --> 00:14:19,592
is as close
as we can ever come
394
00:14:19,678 --> 00:14:22,645
to any definition
of importance.
395
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:24,847
Our galaxy is one
396
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:28,685
of over 100 billion
in the observable universe,
397
00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:32,522
and it's 100,000
light-years across,
398
00:14:32,607 --> 00:14:33,748
which means
399
00:14:33,812 --> 00:14:36,895
it would take light
100,000 years to traverse.
400
00:14:37,028 --> 00:14:38,194
Okay, but--
401
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,413
But that's just space.
402
00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:44,250
If we were to chart
the history of the universe
403
00:14:44,369 --> 00:14:46,286
on one calendar year,
404
00:14:46,371 --> 00:14:49,038
the history of mankind
as we know it,
405
00:14:49,124 --> 00:14:50,206
would just take place
406
00:14:50,342 --> 00:14:52,208
in the final second
of that year.
407
00:14:52,344 --> 00:14:56,763
So, whether I'm ready now
or in 500 years,
408
00:14:56,881 --> 00:14:58,965
well, cosmically speaking,
409
00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:02,018
the distinction is meaningless.
410
00:15:02,103 --> 00:15:04,387
Well... Okay.
411
00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:10,476
I'm-- I'm going now.
412
00:15:14,032 --> 00:15:15,531
Good-bye, honey.
413
00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:20,286
True story.
414
00:15:20,405 --> 00:15:22,346
I went down to San Francisco
with my girlfriend.
415
00:15:22,374 --> 00:15:23,239
Brup-brup-brup.
416
00:15:23,283 --> 00:15:24,657
And we were going
to an event,
417
00:15:24,743 --> 00:15:26,576
and Bill Nye
the Science Guy...
418
00:15:26,661 --> 00:15:27,827
(gasps)
Was there?
419
00:15:27,912 --> 00:15:28,911
No joke.
420
00:15:29,047 --> 00:15:30,339
Bill Nye
hit on my girlfriend
421
00:15:30,382 --> 00:15:31,664
in front of my face.
422
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,832
Did he really?
423
00:15:32,917 --> 00:15:35,134
Bill Nye the Science Guy...
424
00:15:35,253 --> 00:15:36,836
You need the back
the [bleep] up.
425
00:15:36,921 --> 00:15:38,421
Dude, pussy hound, man.
426
00:15:38,506 --> 00:15:41,090
That guy
has laid down pipe.
427
00:15:41,176 --> 00:15:42,592
Probably
polycarbonate pipe.
428
00:15:42,727 --> 00:15:43,726
Probably.
429
00:15:46,848 --> 00:15:49,849
(chatter on TV)
430
00:15:52,937 --> 00:15:55,556
(phone ringing)
431
00:15:57,158 --> 00:15:58,441
Hello, this is Gavin.
432
00:15:58,526 --> 00:16:01,110
Hi, Gavin, my name
is Colin Valenti.
433
00:16:01,212 --> 00:16:03,546
I'm calling from
Master Travel Incorporated
434
00:16:03,615 --> 00:16:06,090
to tell you about an exciting
limited-time offer,
435
00:16:06,158 --> 00:16:07,583
exclusive Las Vegas getaway.
436
00:16:07,669 --> 00:16:09,347
Can I have a few moments
of your time
437
00:16:09,411 --> 00:16:10,837
to tell you
about this new package?
438
00:16:10,955 --> 00:16:12,518
You know what,
I would love to,
439
00:16:12,599 --> 00:16:14,505
but I just don't have the time.
440
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:15,673
(phone beeps)
441
00:16:15,702 --> 00:16:16,802
Hello?
442
00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:19,062
Hello?
443
00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:21,631
(disconnect tone)
444
00:16:21,716 --> 00:16:23,066
Hm.
445
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:43,903
(touch tones beeping)
446
00:16:43,988 --> 00:16:45,071
(line trilling)
447
00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:48,408
(phone ringing)
448
00:16:48,493 --> 00:16:50,626
This is Colin Valenti,
Master Travel Incorporated.
449
00:16:50,728 --> 00:16:51,627
How may I be of service?
450
00:16:51,729 --> 00:16:52,962
Hi, Colin Valenti.
451
00:16:53,064 --> 00:16:54,464
My name is Gavin.
452
00:16:54,566 --> 00:16:55,798
I think we just talked.
453
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:57,884
Did we get disconnected?
454
00:16:58,002 --> 00:17:00,586
Yeah, no-- I mean, yeah,
I hung up on you.
455
00:17:03,425 --> 00:17:04,674
Why would you do that?
456
00:17:04,809 --> 00:17:06,409
I mean, are you even--
457
00:17:06,511 --> 00:17:08,761
Are you even allowed
to do that?
458
00:17:08,847 --> 00:17:11,681
Were you going to buy
the Las Vegas package?
459
00:17:11,816 --> 00:17:13,926
Well, I mean, probably not,
but that's not the point.
460
00:17:13,985 --> 00:17:14,851
The point is--
461
00:17:14,986 --> 00:17:16,319
(phone beeps)
462
00:17:16,404 --> 00:17:17,437
What the hell?
463
00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:18,905
(touch tones beeping)
464
00:17:19,023 --> 00:17:20,656
(line trilling)
465
00:17:20,742 --> 00:17:21,657
This is Colin--
466
00:17:21,743 --> 00:17:23,025
Yeah, Valenti.
Listen.
467
00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:24,861
I don't know what
crawled up your ass
468
00:17:24,996 --> 00:17:26,112
and set up shop there,
but you don't get to hang up--
469
00:17:26,197 --> 00:17:27,947
(phone beeps)
(gasps)
470
00:17:28,032 --> 00:17:30,116
What?
471
00:17:30,201 --> 00:17:32,201
Oh, my G--
472
00:17:32,337 --> 00:17:33,586
(line trilling)
473
00:17:33,705 --> 00:17:37,006
(phone ringing)
474
00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:38,458
What the [bleep] do you want?
475
00:17:38,543 --> 00:17:40,343
What is your deal, huh?
476
00:17:40,428 --> 00:17:42,595
Um, you don't want
the Vegas package,
477
00:17:42,714 --> 00:17:44,013
so I don't want to talk.
478
00:17:44,098 --> 00:17:45,681
I did us a favor,
wasting our time here.
479
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:47,216
Stop, stop, don't you dare
480
00:17:47,302 --> 00:17:50,636
hang up that [bleep] phone,
okay?
481
00:17:50,722 --> 00:17:51,771
Why shouldn't I?
482
00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:53,189
Why shou--
483
00:17:53,274 --> 00:17:55,191
What if I wanted
the Vegas package?
484
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:56,893
Wha--you know what?
485
00:17:57,028 --> 00:17:59,028
I want the Vegas package.
486
00:18:01,065 --> 00:18:01,981
Sure you do.
487
00:18:02,066 --> 00:18:02,982
(phone beeps)
488
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:04,233
What?
489
00:18:04,369 --> 00:18:06,269
You mother[bleep]!
490
00:18:06,371 --> 00:18:07,487
Oh, my God!
491
00:18:07,572 --> 00:18:08,738
You son of a bitch.
492
00:18:08,873 --> 00:18:11,324
(line trilling)
493
00:18:11,409 --> 00:18:13,242
Come on, man, let it go.
494
00:18:13,378 --> 00:18:14,327
[bleep] you, man!
495
00:18:14,412 --> 00:18:15,328
[bleep] you!
496
00:18:15,413 --> 00:18:17,630
I want five [bleep] packages!
497
00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:18,915
Right now-- You know what?
498
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,333
You know what?
My wallet!
499
00:18:20,418 --> 00:18:21,968
This is my credit card
number, right here.
500
00:18:22,086 --> 00:18:23,085
Okay, listen.
501
00:18:23,221 --> 00:18:24,303
Get [bleep] off me.
502
00:18:24,422 --> 00:18:28,891
My credit card number
is 0074-5403-0098.
503
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:31,310
The expiration date
is 12-20!
504
00:18:31,429 --> 00:18:32,845
And then-- And then the--
Oh, yeah!
505
00:18:32,931 --> 00:18:34,847
The security number is 084!
506
00:18:34,933 --> 00:18:37,066
So run the damn card right now!
507
00:18:37,151 --> 00:18:38,234
Right [bleep] now!
508
00:18:38,319 --> 00:18:40,269
You run it right [bleep] now,
asshole!
509
00:18:40,355 --> 00:18:44,073
(suspenseful music)
510
00:18:44,158 --> 00:18:45,942
Thank you for your business.
511
00:18:46,027 --> 00:18:48,528
Well, I hope
you learned your le--
512
00:18:48,613 --> 00:18:50,112
(phone beeps)
(gasps)
513
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:52,114
(screaming)
514
00:18:55,286 --> 00:18:58,004
These new call scripts
are really great.
515
00:18:58,122 --> 00:18:59,255
Yeah, I know, right?
516
00:18:59,357 --> 00:19:00,456
(phone rings)
517
00:19:00,592 --> 00:19:02,959
What the [bleep]
do you want, Kathy?
518
00:19:08,502 --> 00:19:10,302
Neil!
519
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:11,553
Who is she?
520
00:19:11,638 --> 00:19:12,887
Who is the white bitch
521
00:19:12,973 --> 00:19:15,590
that left this
goddamn lipstick stain
522
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:17,342
on your collar?
523
00:19:17,427 --> 00:19:18,927
Hmm?
524
00:19:19,062 --> 00:19:21,096
Oh, I got you.
525
00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:22,647
You're caught,
526
00:19:22,766 --> 00:19:24,683
because this
is apricot-colored,
527
00:19:24,768 --> 00:19:25,850
and you know
who wears that?
528
00:19:25,936 --> 00:19:27,268
White bitches.
529
00:19:27,404 --> 00:19:29,154
And you can't talk your way
out of this one,
530
00:19:29,272 --> 00:19:30,739
'cause I'm not
getting confused today,
531
00:19:30,824 --> 00:19:32,073
'cause I got
my [bleep] in order
532
00:19:32,159 --> 00:19:33,491
and I've done
my research.
533
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:34,826
Okay, Neil?
534
00:19:34,826 --> 00:19:36,139
You see,
535
00:19:36,139 --> 00:19:39,698
we are here
at this point in space-time,
536
00:19:39,783 --> 00:19:40,832
on a human scale.
537
00:19:40,951 --> 00:19:42,250
But at this point,
538
00:19:42,336 --> 00:19:44,419
You a triflin'-ass
mother[bleep].
539
00:19:44,504 --> 00:19:46,838
So expect the papers
from the lawyer,
540
00:19:46,957 --> 00:19:48,790
'cause we're parting ways.
541
00:19:50,794 --> 00:19:53,345
Well, actually...
542
00:19:53,463 --> 00:19:54,879
No, no.
543
00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:58,466
We are always parting ways
and not parting ways
544
00:19:58,602 --> 00:20:02,020
in every conceivable
combination.
545
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:05,023
Many physicists,
including Stephen Hawking,
546
00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:06,608
now believe that there is
547
00:20:06,693 --> 00:20:09,894
an infinite number
of universes.
548
00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:11,813
It's called multiverse theory,
549
00:20:11,948 --> 00:20:15,367
and it suggests that there are
an infinite number of universes
550
00:20:15,485 --> 00:20:19,320
in which I didn't have sex
with that white woman.
551
00:20:19,406 --> 00:20:21,322
I [bleep] Bill Nye
the Science Guy.
552
00:20:21,408 --> 00:20:22,991
You bitch.
553
00:20:26,663 --> 00:20:29,631
Bill Nye, little bitch.
554
00:20:29,716 --> 00:20:31,666
Looking like a pimple
555
00:20:31,802 --> 00:20:34,169
that I'm about to itch.
556
00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:39,174
Scratch off your head,
mother[bleep].
557
00:20:39,259 --> 00:20:41,509
(voice cracking)
Try and take my girl?
558
00:20:41,645 --> 00:20:43,178
You a sucker.
559
00:20:47,017 --> 00:20:49,517
(Keegan-Michael)
None of this is real.
560
00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:54,072
(Jordan)
Oh... [bleep]!
561
00:20:54,191 --> 00:20:56,024
I'm gonna do
my one line here
562
00:20:56,159 --> 00:20:58,076
Oh, yeah.
563
00:20:58,076 --> 00:20:59,794
Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
564
00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:04,394
Repair and Synchronization by
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