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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,924 --> 00:00:03,288 Thank you, Daniella. That'll be all. 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,298 - Hey there, Tim. - Hey. 3 00:00:06,299 --> 00:00:08,298 - Just slide that on there. - Mm-hmm. 4 00:00:08,599 --> 00:00:09,723 Turn the gas on here. 5 00:00:09,747 --> 00:00:11,548 I need you to count backwards from five, 6 00:00:11,602 --> 00:00:14,298 and then you will be off to the races. 7 00:00:14,776 --> 00:00:17,448 Five, four, three, 8 00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,433 two, one. 9 00:00:19,674 --> 00:00:22,399 Hey, doc, I don't think that this gas is-- 10 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,299 Well, it was fun being a dentist. 11 00:00:40,496 --> 00:00:42,019 (haunting Western music) 12 00:00:42,087 --> 00:00:44,469 13 00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:04,909 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 14 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:07,910 The most exciting part about hitting a home run, to me, 15 00:01:07,949 --> 00:01:09,695 is always, "Is it gonna get out of the park?" 16 00:01:09,699 --> 00:01:10,544 So you hit them? 17 00:01:10,549 --> 00:01:12,425 Oh, no, no, not-- no, no, no. I did not have 18 00:01:12,458 --> 00:01:14,298 a very illustrious Little League career. 19 00:01:14,299 --> 00:01:16,298 - Little League's tough, man. - Like, it's-- it is. 20 00:01:16,299 --> 00:01:18,298 And I was not good at it. I got one hit my whole career, 21 00:01:18,299 --> 00:01:20,772 and it was for the other team. 22 00:01:20,999 --> 00:01:22,298 They didn't have enough players. 23 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:26,073 Last game of the season, they had-- they're like, "Key, 24 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,673 - "go over to the other team." - Oh, my God. 25 00:01:27,699 --> 00:01:29,698 - The reason I got the hit is because I hit the ball 26 00:01:29,699 --> 00:01:31,798 and nobody was ready, 'cause I've never hit the ball before. 27 00:01:31,827 --> 00:01:34,281 It's crazy that we put our kids in this sport where 28 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,298 they get all singled out. 29 00:01:36,299 --> 00:01:38,298 - I mean, that's-- - Well, yeah, that's sports too. 30 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,298 It's all about the performance right there at the plate. 31 00:01:40,299 --> 00:01:41,503 You swing, and swing, and swing, and miss, 32 00:01:41,552 --> 00:01:42,892 and miss, and miss, and miss, 33 00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:44,298 - and keep missing. - Yeah. 34 00:01:44,299 --> 00:01:45,817 Always missing, missing. 35 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:49,298 Always. Never hit the ball. 36 00:01:49,299 --> 00:01:50,506 What's wrong with me? 37 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:51,760 What's-- 38 00:01:53,049 --> 00:01:55,048 Have you never hit the-- Have you ever hit the ball? 39 00:01:55,052 --> 00:01:57,051 I've hit many a ball. 40 00:02:00,652 --> 00:02:03,298 Hey, hey, come on. Good game. Slap-ass, man. 41 00:02:03,299 --> 00:02:04,748 Slap-ass! 42 00:02:04,974 --> 00:02:07,363 Slap-ass! Slap-ass! 43 00:02:08,624 --> 00:02:10,415 Whoo! Hey, Garcia. 44 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,517 Get him up out of here! Get out of the locker room! 45 00:02:13,619 --> 00:02:15,998 You get out of the locker room. Ahora! 46 00:02:17,299 --> 00:02:21,271 Ahh, slap-ass, slap-ass, slap-ass, slap-ass, slap-ass. 47 00:02:23,624 --> 00:02:25,848 - Whoo. - Good game, guys, way to go. 48 00:02:25,904 --> 00:02:27,098 Good hit, Garcia. 49 00:02:27,198 --> 00:02:29,718 Hey! Oh, you don't-- Hey, hey, hey, hey, knock it off. 50 00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:32,298 You can't do that. Guys, guys, guys. 51 00:02:32,299 --> 00:02:33,298 Please know, 52 00:02:33,549 --> 00:02:36,615 Rafi just got out of treatment, remember? 53 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:41,646 We don't want to trigger him with any slap-ass. 54 00:02:42,299 --> 00:02:43,298 Hey! 55 00:02:43,299 --> 00:02:45,827 What the fuck is going on here? 56 00:02:46,549 --> 00:02:48,943 Why we all acting like a funeral in here? 57 00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,298 No, nothing, Rafi, heh. 58 00:02:51,299 --> 00:02:53,858 You just caught us in the lull in the conversation, man. 59 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,728 - We're happy. - (all) Yeah! 60 00:02:55,974 --> 00:02:57,198 - Yay! - We're happy here. 61 00:02:57,299 --> 00:02:59,298 I was a little afraid for a second, 62 00:02:59,299 --> 00:03:00,879 'cause, I mean, that was a good game, huh? 63 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,298 - Good game. - Yeah, good game. 64 00:03:02,476 --> 00:03:04,663 All right. Hey, good game. 65 00:03:06,299 --> 00:03:07,799 Good game, man. 66 00:03:12,174 --> 00:03:13,174 Good game. 67 00:03:17,024 --> 00:03:18,024 Okay. 68 00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:22,898 There's a elefante in the room. 69 00:03:24,299 --> 00:03:26,808 You know, I want to talk about it. 70 00:03:28,299 --> 00:03:30,898 Si, I had a problem. 71 00:03:32,074 --> 00:03:33,617 It was bad. 72 00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:35,823 At my lowest point, 73 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,563 I would sneak into a horse's stable. 74 00:03:40,099 --> 00:03:42,523 When you find yourself at 1:00 A.M. in the morning 75 00:03:42,577 --> 00:03:43,994 with your hand in the air 76 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,298 and a horse's ass 77 00:03:46,299 --> 00:03:47,498 in front of your face, 78 00:03:47,549 --> 00:03:49,289 that's when you know it's bad. 79 00:03:50,199 --> 00:03:51,198 Oh, Rafi. 80 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:52,969 But I'm okay now. 81 00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:55,573 I'm all better, guys, honestly. 82 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,556 Just treat me like I'm normal, okay? 83 00:03:58,595 --> 00:04:00,673 - Okay, Rafi. - Let's have some fun. 84 00:04:00,770 --> 00:04:02,498 - Okay, Rafi. - It's a game. 85 00:04:02,499 --> 00:04:03,498 - It's baseball. - Hey, all right. 86 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,298 Here, here. 87 00:04:05,299 --> 00:04:07,299 - You fucking guys. - It's a good game. 88 00:04:19,149 --> 00:04:20,110 Garcia, 89 00:04:21,299 --> 00:04:22,883 you can pick up your glove. 90 00:04:25,449 --> 00:04:28,275 (whispering) Come on, pick up your glove. 91 00:04:44,299 --> 00:04:45,298 (laughs) 92 00:04:45,299 --> 00:04:47,798 Hey, what I told you, huh? 93 00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:49,623 It's just normal, guys. Come on. 94 00:04:49,702 --> 00:04:51,969 You see, I'm fine. I'm all better now. 95 00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:53,548 You guys can do the normal stuff. 96 00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:55,859 Be yourselves. Bend things over. 97 00:04:55,923 --> 00:04:57,687 Pick things up, you know. 98 00:04:57,912 --> 00:04:59,298 Do your stretches. 99 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,299 Touch your toes, you stupid fuckers. 100 00:05:05,299 --> 00:05:07,592 (whistles) Excuse, por favor. 101 00:05:08,299 --> 00:05:09,716 Hola, amigos. 102 00:05:10,499 --> 00:05:12,348 My name is Ruben. 103 00:05:13,299 --> 00:05:16,994 I just came over from the Braves' farm team. 104 00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:19,298 I'm from the Dominican Republic. 105 00:05:19,299 --> 00:05:20,298 - Hey. - Oh. 106 00:05:20,299 --> 00:05:21,856 We're all from the Dominican Republic. 107 00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:23,298 - Yeah. - I'm really excited 108 00:05:23,299 --> 00:05:25,298 to be working and playing with you all. 109 00:05:25,476 --> 00:05:27,076 - Go, Rhinos. - (all) Go, Rhinos. 110 00:05:27,099 --> 00:05:28,226 - All right. - Go, Rhinos! 111 00:05:28,299 --> 00:05:29,298 - All right. - Whoo. 112 00:05:29,299 --> 00:05:31,697 That's the kind of spirit I like to see there, Ruben. 113 00:05:31,714 --> 00:05:33,633 All right, welcome to the squad, man. 114 00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:35,298 - Thank you. - It's good to see another-- 115 00:05:35,299 --> 00:05:36,928 All right. Muy bueno. 116 00:05:37,632 --> 00:05:38,948 All right. 117 00:05:39,074 --> 00:05:41,073 We gonna need a bigger boat. 118 00:05:41,526 --> 00:05:42,335 Whoo. 119 00:05:43,775 --> 00:05:45,263 Oh, they, uh... 120 00:05:45,975 --> 00:05:48,974 really put your locker right next to my locker, huh? 121 00:05:49,175 --> 00:05:50,874 I guess so. 122 00:05:51,299 --> 00:05:53,298 - Yeah, yeah. - You got this, man. 123 00:05:53,299 --> 00:05:55,375 You're just spending an awful lot 124 00:05:55,424 --> 00:05:57,298 of time down there, you know? 125 00:05:57,299 --> 00:05:58,794 Hey, I have a lot of stuff. 126 00:05:58,885 --> 00:06:00,298 - Yeah. - A lot. 127 00:06:00,299 --> 00:06:01,298 I see that. 128 00:06:01,349 --> 00:06:02,633 Rafi, you can do this. 129 00:06:02,674 --> 00:06:04,537 Oh, my goodness. 130 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,724 You okay there, buddy? 131 00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,160 You're not looking too good. 132 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,298 I am feeling a little bit flushed. 133 00:06:12,547 --> 00:06:15,214 You know, I got a good feeling about you. 134 00:06:15,850 --> 00:06:19,268 Maybe we could be good friends, maybe even the best of friends. 135 00:06:20,299 --> 00:06:21,967 Maybe another time. 136 00:06:22,975 --> 00:06:24,301 Another place. 137 00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:26,839 But not here. 138 00:06:27,573 --> 00:06:28,950 Not now. 139 00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:30,922 - Well, either way, 140 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,999 we're teammates, 141 00:06:32,099 --> 00:06:34,969 and so, anything I can do for you, 142 00:06:36,050 --> 00:06:37,049 ask away. 143 00:06:37,124 --> 00:06:38,123 - Got it. - Eh. 144 00:06:38,174 --> 00:06:39,298 - Okay. - Go, Rhinos! 145 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,298 - Okay. - Yeah! 146 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,819 Uh! 147 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,515 Oh, no. 148 00:06:49,674 --> 00:06:50,923 No, Rafi! 149 00:06:51,299 --> 00:06:52,686 - Slap-ass! - Rafi, no! 150 00:06:52,698 --> 00:06:54,724 I want to slap-ass! I want to slap it! 151 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,895 - No, you cannot play slap-ass. - Yes, I want to slap it. 152 00:06:56,922 --> 00:06:57,921 You cannot play slap-ass. 153 00:06:57,932 --> 00:06:59,133 You can't keep me from slap-ass. 154 00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:01,014 - You cannot have the slap-ass. - I need to slap it. 155 00:07:01,068 --> 00:07:03,298 - You cannot have the slap-ass! - Yes, yes, I can have it. 156 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:04,298 No slap-ass. No slap-ass. 157 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,298 Yes, slap-ass. 158 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,298 - No slap-ass. - Slap-ass-- 159 00:07:06,648 --> 00:07:07,647 No slap-ass. 160 00:07:07,877 --> 00:07:09,298 (both) No slap-ass. 161 00:07:09,299 --> 00:07:10,487 That's what I want to hear. 162 00:07:10,523 --> 00:07:12,169 I am so excited. 163 00:07:12,795 --> 00:07:14,547 I am so excited. 164 00:07:14,598 --> 00:07:15,597 I know it's a big ass. 165 00:07:15,622 --> 00:07:18,850 - I'm so, so scared. - I know. 166 00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:21,298 - I know. - Thank you, Garcia. 167 00:07:21,299 --> 00:07:22,594 I know, I know. 168 00:07:22,626 --> 00:07:25,625 It was just too hard to resist. 169 00:07:26,122 --> 00:07:27,605 Okay. 170 00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:30,315 Are you okay? 171 00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:33,198 - I'm okay. - Okay. 172 00:07:37,773 --> 00:07:38,772 Hey, guys. 173 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:42,298 You know maybe after a game victory 174 00:07:42,299 --> 00:07:45,020 we could all go dancing, right? Huh? 175 00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:47,299 Bop, ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop. 176 00:07:49,299 --> 00:07:51,298 Ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop. 177 00:07:51,299 --> 00:07:53,872 (in slow motion) Ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop, 178 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:57,178 ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop, ba-bop... 179 00:07:59,299 --> 00:08:03,221 (in slow motion) No! 180 00:08:08,299 --> 00:08:11,551 Slap-ass! 181 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,070 Dude, I just want to say, like, we did it, man. 182 00:08:28,071 --> 00:08:29,648 It's smooth sailing from here. 183 00:08:29,722 --> 00:08:31,268 In Hollywood, me and you-- 184 00:08:31,319 --> 00:08:34,070 We're never gonna not work another day in our life. 185 00:08:34,071 --> 00:08:35,566 - It's like-- - We're gonna get every role 186 00:08:35,589 --> 00:08:36,639 we ever wanted. 187 00:08:36,687 --> 00:08:38,394 We're never gonna get guff from a director. 188 00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:39,419 We'll give directors guff. 189 00:08:39,471 --> 00:08:40,690 They'll hire us for dramatic roles. 190 00:08:40,697 --> 00:08:42,447 - I'm gonna be the guff master. - I'm gonna-- I'm gonna say, 191 00:08:42,497 --> 00:08:44,244 "You're never gonna work in this town again." 192 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,015 - To the director? - To the fucking director. 193 00:08:46,073 --> 00:08:47,967 - Bravo. - "Mr. Nolan." 194 00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:50,070 - Yeah, exactly. - In their face. 195 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,070 - Exactly. - "I'm sorry, 196 00:08:51,071 --> 00:08:54,162 "Ridley-bidly-bobbly-boop Scott, 197 00:08:55,071 --> 00:08:57,220 "you're a fucking ignoramus." 198 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,344 "Cameron, you motherfucker." 199 00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:00,370 (laughs) 200 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:03,692 "Why don't you go hang out in the trees 201 00:09:04,071 --> 00:09:05,070 with your blue people?" - Yeah. 202 00:09:05,271 --> 00:09:07,520 "I'm sorry, Mr. Spielberg." 203 00:09:07,574 --> 00:09:10,070 - Look, scoop the news. - "You get on set." 204 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,071 (laughs) 205 00:09:14,071 --> 00:09:16,618 You-- Let me through. 206 00:09:16,701 --> 00:09:19,324 This is bullshit, Gene. 207 00:09:19,395 --> 00:09:20,931 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. What's the matter, Reg? 208 00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:22,070 In the next episode 209 00:09:22,071 --> 00:09:25,544 Steve Urkel turns Carl into a giant sandwich 210 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,341 and accidentally eats him? 211 00:09:27,395 --> 00:09:29,166 Ha-ha, but wait, that's hilarious, buddy. 212 00:09:29,196 --> 00:09:31,951 - It's hilarious. - Come on! I'm an actor, Gene! 213 00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:33,946 This was supposed to be about me and my family. 214 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,070 I know, but you know, after that-- 215 00:09:35,071 --> 00:09:37,070 after that first guest spot with Steve Urkel, 216 00:09:37,071 --> 00:09:38,405 I mean, America fell in love with him, man. 217 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,070 We had to make him a regular, and now, you know-- 218 00:09:40,071 --> 00:09:41,943 hey, listen, he's the star of the show now, sweetheart. 219 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,297 We gotta play ball, bubbeleh. 220 00:09:43,348 --> 00:09:45,978 - Don't you dare "bubbeleh" me, Gene. 221 00:09:46,071 --> 00:09:48,918 Now, last week, Steve used his transformation machine 222 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:50,594 to turn Carl into a car 223 00:09:50,647 --> 00:09:52,899 and drive him around the Monaco Grand Prix? 224 00:09:52,946 --> 00:09:53,945 Come on! 225 00:09:53,996 --> 00:09:56,597 How many times you gonna use this transformation machine? 226 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,070 This was supposed to be a blue collar Cosby Show. 227 00:09:59,071 --> 00:10:01,248 Now you're turning it into goddamn Quantum Leap. 228 00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:02,615 Who writes this shit? 229 00:10:02,638 --> 00:10:04,639 Okay, I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to, okay, man? 230 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,267 We got, like, 21 writers up there, okay? 231 00:10:06,293 --> 00:10:07,110 Know what I'm saying, Reginald? 232 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,658 But you and I both know that they don't decide 233 00:10:08,697 --> 00:10:09,766 what happens in this show, okay? 234 00:10:09,774 --> 00:10:11,992 We both know who decides what happens in the show. 235 00:10:12,031 --> 00:10:15,821 Two weeks ago Steve Urkel used his invisibility ray on Carl 236 00:10:15,923 --> 00:10:18,070 and I wasn't even in the goddamn episode. 237 00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:19,700 - It was just my voice. - Yes, I know. 238 00:10:19,737 --> 00:10:20,870 I know, Reginald. I'm sorry. 239 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,222 I fucking apologize. It'll never happen again. 240 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,903 Then Steve used his voice-changing ray to turn Carl 241 00:10:24,946 --> 00:10:26,755 into a high-pitched, nerdy voice. 242 00:10:26,769 --> 00:10:28,266 Who do you think provided the voice for that? 243 00:10:28,271 --> 00:10:30,270 Don't get too feisty on me now, Reg. 244 00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:32,013 Let's not go down that path, okay? 245 00:10:32,071 --> 00:10:34,367 Oh, oh, we are going down that path, Gene. 246 00:10:34,471 --> 00:10:38,319 In a couple of weeks, Harriette, Eddie, Laura, Grandma, 247 00:10:38,373 --> 00:10:41,095 Aunt Rachel, Little Richie, and the other little kid 248 00:10:41,146 --> 00:10:43,467 are gonna get teleported to another dimension, 249 00:10:43,503 --> 00:10:46,169 and then Steve injects Carl with his own DNA, 250 00:10:46,219 --> 00:10:48,249 so Carl turns into another Steve Urkel. 251 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:50,347 That's two Steve Urkels and no family 252 00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,831 on a show called Family Matters. 253 00:10:51,844 --> 00:10:53,147 How the fuck does that work? 254 00:10:53,171 --> 00:10:54,560 Listen, listen, Reginald. I don't know what to tell you. 255 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,138 Urkel mania is unstoppable, okay? 256 00:10:56,148 --> 00:10:57,147 He's a phenomenon. 257 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,066 There's nothing we can do about it, okay? 258 00:10:59,071 --> 00:11:00,312 It's up to S-- 259 00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:01,646 him. 260 00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:04,070 No, no, no, no, no! 261 00:11:04,071 --> 00:11:06,196 I'm an actor. I'm a fucking actor. 262 00:11:06,268 --> 00:11:07,993 I am a real actor. 263 00:11:08,071 --> 00:11:09,070 I did Richard III. 264 00:11:09,071 --> 00:11:11,198 I was in True West with Sherman Hemsley. 265 00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:13,070 I was in Die Hard, damn it. 266 00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:14,293 Fuck Steve Urkel! 267 00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:16,070 Fuck-- you will suck 268 00:11:16,071 --> 00:11:17,818 Steve Urkel's dick if he wants you to! 269 00:11:17,871 --> 00:11:19,563 You will suck his fucking dick, do you understand? 270 00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:21,826 He is our bread and butter, you motherfucker! 271 00:11:21,871 --> 00:11:23,302 I am high on cocaine! 272 00:11:23,342 --> 00:11:25,020 I'm a fucking actor, Gene! 273 00:11:25,071 --> 00:11:27,417 I done more cocaine than you weigh, motherfucker! 274 00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:29,920 I'm gonna tell you what you are, Reginald VelJohnson. 275 00:11:30,071 --> 00:11:33,742 You're a fucking pawn in that nerd's game. 276 00:11:33,949 --> 00:11:36,070 You are a fucking pawn! 277 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:39,418 Do you think I have any power over what that monster does? 278 00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:40,968 Any power at all? 279 00:11:41,071 --> 00:11:42,306 Ahh! 280 00:11:42,797 --> 00:11:46,398 I am the senior vice president of development 281 00:11:46,468 --> 00:11:49,323 for the American... Broad... ca-- ca-- 282 00:11:49,469 --> 00:11:52,139 - Gene? Gene? 283 00:11:53,522 --> 00:11:55,614 Gene, what's become of you, Gene? 284 00:11:57,797 --> 00:12:00,551 I am nothing. 285 00:12:03,071 --> 00:12:05,070 Gene, I don't know what you mean by that, Gene, 286 00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:06,024 but you're scaring me. 287 00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:08,023 Oh, no, don't, don't, don't do anything crazy, Gene. 288 00:12:08,042 --> 00:12:09,870 Everyone does too much coke sometimes, 289 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,895 but do the just-- what are you gonna do with the gun, Gene? 290 00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:14,594 What are you gonna do? Don't-- No, no, no, no, no, no. 291 00:12:14,772 --> 00:12:16,771 We can talk this through. 292 00:12:17,071 --> 00:12:18,070 Okay? 293 00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:20,249 The king is dead. 294 00:12:21,217 --> 00:12:22,945 Long live the king. 295 00:12:23,071 --> 00:12:26,071 No, no, no, no, no, no! 296 00:12:32,697 --> 00:12:34,697 Did I do that? 297 00:12:42,071 --> 00:12:43,939 - Jaleel. - Jaleel? 298 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,931 There is no Jaleel. 299 00:12:46,071 --> 00:12:47,755 Only Steve. 300 00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:50,272 It's always been Steve. 301 00:12:50,747 --> 00:12:53,950 Yippie ki-yay, motherfucker! (gun clicking) 302 00:12:56,071 --> 00:12:58,073 Forgetting something, Carl? 303 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,070 - Don't you come near me. 304 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,668 Stay away from me, you hear? 305 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,620 Could have all been so simple, Carl. 306 00:13:05,071 --> 00:13:07,070 Just say your lines 307 00:13:07,071 --> 00:13:09,234 and take the money. 308 00:13:09,526 --> 00:13:10,526 You're a monster. 309 00:13:15,113 --> 00:13:16,600 What are you doing? 310 00:13:16,749 --> 00:13:18,748 I, I, I, I can't control-- 311 00:13:19,071 --> 00:13:21,070 Am I doing this? 312 00:13:21,071 --> 00:13:23,687 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 313 00:13:23,749 --> 00:13:25,525 Steve, I'll do anything. 314 00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:28,550 You will do what I want on Family Matters. 315 00:13:29,071 --> 00:13:30,841 Yes, yes. 316 00:13:32,071 --> 00:13:33,344 Of course, Steve. 317 00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,576 See you on set, Carl. 318 00:13:45,071 --> 00:13:49,205 Get out of my house, Steve! 319 00:13:58,723 --> 00:14:00,859 - You like your wines. - I do enjoy wines. 320 00:14:00,885 --> 00:14:02,496 - You like your wines. - I do like liquor. 321 00:14:02,553 --> 00:14:03,851 - I like my beers. - It never fails 322 00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:05,355 to see you at a party with the beer situation. 323 00:14:05,404 --> 00:14:07,206 - I like it a lot. - Mm-hmm. 324 00:14:07,207 --> 00:14:09,355 - I like to get-- I like to get a little aerations on. 325 00:14:09,378 --> 00:14:11,206 Maybe the sniffles. Get the-- 326 00:14:11,207 --> 00:14:12,206 - That's-- - That's a whole lot 327 00:14:12,207 --> 00:14:13,206 - of experiences. - Wait, wait, wait. 328 00:14:13,207 --> 00:14:14,206 Show me again. What is-- How do you drink wine? 329 00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:15,929 You want to aerate it. Want to-- You want to swirl it 330 00:14:15,957 --> 00:14:17,206 around in the glass. Let the oxygen go in there. 331 00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:19,206 - Yeah, yeah, let the oxygen in. - And you're gonna give it 332 00:14:19,207 --> 00:14:21,628 a little-- Check that bouquet. You can get cherries in there, 333 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:24,206 - ashtray, gasoline... - Ashtray? 334 00:14:24,207 --> 00:14:26,206 - Strawberries, hairs-- - I'm sorry, back it up. 335 00:14:26,207 --> 00:14:28,206 - Did you say ashtray? - Ashtray, gasoline, 336 00:14:28,207 --> 00:14:29,831 - ashtray, gasoline... - Disgusting. 337 00:14:29,874 --> 00:14:31,206 - Wide open ass... - I'm pretty sure-- 338 00:14:31,207 --> 00:14:32,206 Sometimes you get those smells in there. 339 00:14:32,207 --> 00:14:34,381 And you're just going, "mmm." Now that isn't-- 340 00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:35,882 that doesn't preclude the taste. 341 00:14:35,937 --> 00:14:37,510 - The taste may be good, still. - But then, dude, that's-- 342 00:14:37,548 --> 00:14:39,206 when you sip it, then you-- - Then you sip it. 343 00:14:39,207 --> 00:14:40,236 Then you go-- 344 00:14:41,207 --> 00:14:42,931 'cause you want the air-- 345 00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:44,206 I just put the glass down. 346 00:14:44,207 --> 00:14:46,206 Why did you put the glass-- but that's not a real glass. 347 00:14:46,207 --> 00:14:48,206 You want to-- you want to put air-- 348 00:14:48,207 --> 00:14:49,657 suck in air over the wine 349 00:14:49,659 --> 00:14:51,205 while the wine is resting on your tongue. 350 00:14:51,205 --> 00:14:52,686 But you look-- you look like an idiot. 351 00:14:52,765 --> 00:14:53,986 I know, man, but it's... (laughs) 352 00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:59,739 This place is so nice. 353 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,587 This is supposed to be one of the best 354 00:15:02,778 --> 00:15:04,778 French places in town. 355 00:15:04,969 --> 00:15:08,316 - Mm, I did not realize that you were so cultured. 356 00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:10,502 You're sweet. 357 00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:13,487 My French is pretty good, 358 00:15:13,939 --> 00:15:15,729 so I can order for both of us. 359 00:15:15,822 --> 00:15:17,335 - Ooh. - If you'd like. 360 00:15:17,419 --> 00:15:18,418 Well, well, well. 361 00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:20,206 Bonjour. 362 00:15:20,207 --> 00:15:22,206 Welcome to Chez de la Notre Ventre, 363 00:15:22,207 --> 00:15:23,753 I am your waiter for this evening. 364 00:15:23,788 --> 00:15:25,637 My name is Jean-Luc de la Pierre-Renault, 365 00:15:25,665 --> 00:15:26,664 but you may call me Jean. 366 00:15:26,714 --> 00:15:28,239 Bonjour, Jean. 367 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,206 Ooh, look at you. 368 00:15:30,256 --> 00:15:32,206 If you have any questions about anything at all 369 00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:34,356 I am more than happy to assist you-- to assist. 370 00:15:34,493 --> 00:15:36,492 Jean? I got it. 371 00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:40,206 - Merci beaucoup. - Tr??s bien. 372 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:43,413 Well, our first special tonight is our poisson du jour. 373 00:15:43,616 --> 00:15:45,837 It's a loup de mer bleu en versant 374 00:15:46,207 --> 00:15:49,206 served with a plum??re verte de cochon de Plomantes 375 00:15:49,207 --> 00:15:53,206 that is served on a bed of gendarmes de filisse au pain 376 00:15:53,207 --> 00:15:54,790 and also served with a luminette rouge 377 00:15:54,838 --> 00:15:57,838 and souffl? petit de fier de Dupont-Grenier. 378 00:16:00,012 --> 00:16:01,206 - Mmm. - Mmm. 379 00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:01,936 Yum. 380 00:16:02,034 --> 00:16:04,206 Our soupe today is a borlame aux sentes 381 00:16:04,207 --> 00:16:06,206 with a-- just a dash of c'est un peintre 382 00:16:06,429 --> 00:16:09,432 and served with melted pissanton j'abattre fleur. 383 00:16:11,207 --> 00:16:12,660 - Soupe. - Yeah. 384 00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:14,010 - Our other seafood today-- 385 00:16:14,084 --> 00:16:18,083 we have a very nice fleujambon grand de plansevince 386 00:16:18,207 --> 00:16:20,206 from the Goutron-Mousson valley in Vesantan. 387 00:16:20,281 --> 00:16:23,398 It is served with a side of colambon fanton 388 00:16:23,509 --> 00:16:25,901 de la matin du garde 389 00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:28,348 fermi??re coulon sauce. 390 00:16:30,207 --> 00:16:33,206 Man, it's just, I'm a little bit overwhelmed. 391 00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:34,632 Ha-ha, yeah, yes. 392 00:16:34,668 --> 00:16:36,593 Oh, God, I'm so glad you said that. 393 00:16:36,633 --> 00:16:38,206 I was about to say the same thing. 394 00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:40,366 So you would recommend getting the flanpanpan grandin 395 00:16:40,447 --> 00:16:42,645 de plante s?v??re with the, um... Ooh, I'm sorry, 396 00:16:42,695 --> 00:16:44,376 is the pinot r??ti d'?piceur roulant 397 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,206 in a heavy Fonsantan sauce? 398 00:16:46,207 --> 00:16:47,206 Oh, no, no, no. 399 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:50,206 It's more like a cochon de grand tronc de vent sauce. 400 00:16:50,207 --> 00:16:51,206 What do you think? 401 00:16:51,207 --> 00:16:53,690 I'm gonna defer to him on this one, 402 00:16:53,768 --> 00:16:55,861 because he knows this stuff way better than I do. 403 00:16:55,894 --> 00:16:58,206 Oh, yes. Monsieur? 404 00:16:58,207 --> 00:16:59,155 What? What? 405 00:17:01,428 --> 00:17:05,267 Um, yeah. We're-- We'll have the... 406 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,939 souande-- uh, 407 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:11,569 the-- 408 00:17:12,207 --> 00:17:13,444 (nasal honking) 409 00:17:13,545 --> 00:17:14,544 I'm-- 410 00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:16,951 chon. 411 00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:20,725 (Speaking gibberish) 412 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,080 We'll try the Fleeeeeeur-- 413 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,875 (speaking gibberish) 414 00:17:35,207 --> 00:17:37,438 It's been nice knowing you. Have a lovely dinner. 415 00:17:45,161 --> 00:17:47,160 Thank youse for meeting me here. 416 00:17:47,161 --> 00:17:48,690 Of course, you know, 417 00:17:48,703 --> 00:17:51,160 just glad we could set aside our differences 418 00:17:51,161 --> 00:17:52,883 and, you know, avoid a war here, you know. 419 00:17:52,942 --> 00:17:54,160 - Salud. - All right. 420 00:17:54,186 --> 00:17:55,281 Salud. 421 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,914 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 422 00:18:01,942 --> 00:18:03,160 Anthony! 423 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,963 Nah, don't do that. 424 00:18:05,062 --> 00:18:07,921 We're trying to avoid a war here. 425 00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:09,929 No, Anthony. 426 00:18:10,161 --> 00:18:11,138 No. 427 00:18:11,865 --> 00:18:13,864 That's too much. What are you doing? 428 00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:15,938 We're just having a nice little dinner here, all right. 429 00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,588 Well, that's just disrespectful. 430 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,160 The--oh, no, not his hair. 431 00:18:20,161 --> 00:18:21,764 Anthony, he had good hair. 432 00:18:21,836 --> 00:18:23,160 Yeah, you're done. 433 00:18:23,161 --> 00:18:24,160 You already messed things up. 434 00:18:24,161 --> 00:18:26,160 What is-- What's going-- What are you doing now? 435 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,669 His phone? No. 436 00:18:27,795 --> 00:18:30,160 Oh, no, don't go deleting his contacts. 437 00:18:30,161 --> 00:18:32,407 He's not going to know whether to answer it or not. 438 00:18:32,453 --> 00:18:34,429 You finished now? That's-- That's good. 439 00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:36,160 Look what you did. Now, we were in the middle 440 00:18:36,161 --> 00:18:38,160 of something, and now-- what are-- 441 00:18:38,161 --> 00:18:40,160 what's going on here? What are you doing? 442 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,160 Oh, that's permanent. 443 00:18:41,405 --> 00:18:43,634 That's a permanent silly mustache. 444 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,634 Ah, now he looks like a sleeping musketeer. 445 00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:49,160 That's adorable, but it's ridiculous. 446 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,466 He can't-- he can hardly wash that off. 447 00:18:51,545 --> 00:18:53,544 Well, that's-- where you going? 448 00:18:53,644 --> 00:18:54,939 What is that? Now with the-- 449 00:18:54,971 --> 00:18:56,160 What are you doing? 450 00:18:56,161 --> 00:18:57,336 What are you putting in his hand? 451 00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:58,813 That doesn't even make sense here. 452 00:18:58,886 --> 00:19:00,160 That doesn't even make sense. 453 00:19:00,378 --> 00:19:02,160 Oh, oh, Anthony! 454 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:05,308 Oh, that's hilarious, but save that for a slumber party. 455 00:19:05,429 --> 00:19:07,160 All right, what are you going to do? 456 00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:08,833 Oh, you're rearranging the silverware. 457 00:19:08,865 --> 00:19:10,864 That's just so mean. That's-- It's confusing. 458 00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:12,339 It's confusing enough, what with the-- 459 00:19:12,474 --> 00:19:14,456 Anthony. Anthony, don't do it. 460 00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:17,160 Oh, well, you know, the salad needed a little pepper flash, 461 00:19:17,161 --> 00:19:19,160 so that's good. So that's-- that's not so bad. 462 00:19:19,161 --> 00:19:21,160 You finally did something constructive. 463 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,984 What are you doing? What are you-- 464 00:19:23,013 --> 00:19:24,404 You're putting the silverware back. 465 00:19:24,425 --> 00:19:26,382 That's good. Well, that's all--that's good. 466 00:19:26,407 --> 00:19:28,542 Now he knows he can go from outside to inside. 467 00:19:28,588 --> 00:19:31,507 That's-- Oh, you're putting a little jus in his hair. 468 00:19:31,575 --> 00:19:33,160 That's good, yeah, jus it. Jus it-- 469 00:19:33,161 --> 00:19:34,160 Oh, now, well, that-- 470 00:19:34,161 --> 00:19:36,160 it actually looks better than when he came in. 471 00:19:36,161 --> 00:19:39,160 If he wasn't unconscious he could go out on the town, 472 00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:40,535 so that's good. That's good. 473 00:19:40,551 --> 00:19:44,160 Oh, okay, you got-- All right, wipe off-- wipe off his face. 474 00:19:44,161 --> 00:19:46,539 Yeah, yeah, and get the mustache while you're at it, 475 00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:48,160 'cause that's the most embarrassing part. 476 00:19:48,161 --> 00:19:49,914 Ah, he doesn't look ridiculous anymore. 477 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,938 Oh, okay, yeah, that's, that's-- 478 00:19:51,965 --> 00:19:53,160 now you're helping everybody. 479 00:19:53,161 --> 00:19:55,160 That's good for everybody. Everybody likes that. 480 00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:56,761 Nobody wants lettuce on the floor. 481 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,160 Spick-and-fucking-span. 482 00:19:58,161 --> 00:19:59,160 All right, we done? 483 00:19:59,161 --> 00:20:01,638 All right, you really turned this around. 484 00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:03,692 There he-- All right, and then you're gone, then. 485 00:20:03,792 --> 00:20:06,791 All right, all right, he won't even know what hit him. 486 00:20:07,161 --> 00:20:09,008 He won't even know that any-- 487 00:20:09,865 --> 00:20:10,864 Oh, no. 488 00:20:11,555 --> 00:20:13,554 No, no, no, no. Anthony. 489 00:20:13,693 --> 00:20:15,692 Anthony, I can see it in your eyes. 490 00:20:15,796 --> 00:20:16,880 I can see it in your eyes. 491 00:20:16,964 --> 00:20:18,739 You're going the other way now, Anthony. 492 00:20:18,836 --> 00:20:20,385 Anthony, it was going so well. 493 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:21,960 Well that's-- that's-- 494 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,785 that's perverse, Anthony. I don't even know what-- 495 00:20:23,816 --> 00:20:25,167 What's that? What are you going to do 496 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,131 with that finger? What are doing-- Oh! 497 00:20:27,408 --> 00:20:29,160 Yeah, no. Not a wet Willy. 498 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,216 No! No, Anthony. 499 00:20:32,161 --> 00:20:34,160 Oh, we're going to war, Anthony. 500 00:20:34,161 --> 00:20:35,512 We're going to war. 501 00:20:35,545 --> 00:20:36,898 We're going to war. 502 00:20:39,161 --> 00:20:40,709 Can you imagine if we had to hunt? 503 00:20:40,915 --> 00:20:42,115 Oh, we'd die. 504 00:20:42,161 --> 00:20:44,160 - We would die. - We would starve to death. 505 00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:45,160 We would-- I mean my-- 506 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,607 It's not even-- No two doubts about it. 507 00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:50,788 These motherfuckers shot rabbits with bows and arrows. 508 00:20:50,841 --> 00:20:51,431 Mm-hmm. 509 00:20:51,519 --> 00:20:54,160 Nigga, I can't hit toilet water with my own pee. 510 00:20:54,531 --> 00:20:56,608 I'm gonna do my one line here 511 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,161 Oh, yeah. 512 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,600 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 513 00:21:00,691 --> 00:21:03,742 - It's up to him. - I just read an outline... 514 00:21:03,778 --> 00:21:04,811 Where the fuck did you get it? 515 00:21:04,841 --> 00:21:06,914 where Carl puts on a Scrooge night gown, 516 00:21:07,063 --> 00:21:10,062 and Urkel mistakes him for a woman and tries to seduce him. 517 00:21:10,063 --> 00:21:12,062 It's not even a Christmas episode, Gene. 518 00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:14,062 Damn it! That's not comedy! 519 00:21:14,063 --> 00:21:15,463 I don't even know what that is. - Hey! 520 00:21:15,513 --> 00:21:20,063 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37788

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