Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,070 --> 00:00:02,653
- Roommate meeting.
2
00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,254
Roommate meeting!
3
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,924
- Gogo, what the hell?
I've got a hangover!
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,425
- I don't give a fuck
5
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,994
about your hangover,
okay, Brendan?
6
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:14,250
I want a roommate meeting, and I
want it now! Ripped By mstoll
7
00:00:14,859 --> 00:00:15,799
Okay.
8
00:00:16,032 --> 00:00:18,085
Now, somebody's
been taking shit
9
00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:19,252
out of the refrigerator
10
00:00:19,335 --> 00:00:20,687
and throwing it
on the ground,
11
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,489
and it's pissing me off.
12
00:00:22,572 --> 00:00:24,647
Is this another one
of your stupid pranks, Jonald?
13
00:00:24,731 --> 00:00:27,288
- No.
And your pranks are stupid.
14
00:00:27,410 --> 00:00:29,506
- Is it you, Monday?
- What?
15
00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:31,264
[Eerie music]
- I said,
16
00:00:31,347 --> 00:00:33,033
somebody's been taking shit
out of the fridge
17
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,701
and throwing it
on the fucking ground.
18
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,139
And I want to know who it is,
19
00:00:36,223 --> 00:00:37,952
because it's not funny!
20
00:00:38,036 --> 00:00:39,538
- Well, what I want to know is,
21
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,038
who keeps pulling the sheets
off my bed
22
00:00:41,122 --> 00:00:42,975
and hanging them
from the ceiling fan at night?
23
00:00:43,059 --> 00:00:45,612
- Was that you, Monday?
- What?
24
00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,981
- Have you been taking
everybody's sheets off them
25
00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:50,884
in the night and hanging them
from the ceiling fans?
26
00:00:50,966 --> 00:00:52,351
- What? No.
27
00:00:52,435 --> 00:00:55,122
- Well, clearly,
someone's been doing that!
28
00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:56,456
[Glass shatters]
- Whoa!
29
00:00:56,539 --> 00:00:57,791
Who did that?
30
00:00:57,874 --> 00:01:00,660
- Yeah!
Who the fuck just did that?
31
00:01:00,743 --> 00:01:02,829
- Which one of you
just threw that bottle?
32
00:01:02,912 --> 00:01:04,858
- What are we even talking about
right now?
33
00:01:04,942 --> 00:01:07,534
- Did you fucking throw
that bottle, Jonald?
34
00:01:07,617 --> 00:01:09,136
- No, Gogo!
35
00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:11,530
Fuck you!
I didn't throw it!
36
00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:14,360
- Well, did you fucking throw
that bottle, Brendan?
37
00:01:14,444 --> 00:01:16,977
- Yeah!
You would do that, Brendan.
38
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,980
- Dude, no!
I didn't throw the bottle!
39
00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:23,049
- Well, somebody threw
that fucking bottle,
40
00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:25,485
and you're the one who drew
dicks on everyone's forehead!
41
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:27,625
- Yeah, you did do that!
42
00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,589
- But dicks are hilarious,
though!
43
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,191
This is just destructive!
44
00:01:31,274 --> 00:01:32,726
What about you, Monday?
45
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:34,342
Did you throw that bottle?
46
00:01:35,092 --> 00:01:36,029
- What bottle?
47
00:01:36,112 --> 00:01:38,665
- The fucking bottle, dude!
48
00:01:38,748 --> 00:01:40,367
It just smashed
against the wall,
49
00:01:40,450 --> 00:01:42,569
and you even said
some shit about it!
50
00:01:42,986 --> 00:01:44,772
- Well, I didn't throw
a bottle.
51
00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:47,881
- Well, obviously,
it wasn't Ping.
52
00:01:47,965 --> 00:01:50,110
He's got the best grades
in the house.
53
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:53,246
- [Roars]
54
00:01:53,329 --> 00:01:54,944
- Good point, Ping.
55
00:01:55,028 --> 00:01:57,684
Come on, guys, let's cool it
with the profanity.
56
00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,944
You know Ping's very religious.
57
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:04,558
[Bees buzzing]
[All groaning]
58
00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:06,693
- Ping!
- Ugh!
59
00:02:06,776 --> 00:02:08,131
- Come on!
60
00:02:08,955 --> 00:02:11,908
[Spooky soul music]
61
00:02:11,992 --> 00:02:19,990
62
00:02:24,731 --> 00:02:26,432
Resync BluRay by LeRalouf
63
00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:31,618
[cheers and applause]
64
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:34,654
- Hello!
Thank you.
65
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,323
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
66
00:02:36,619 --> 00:02:38,925
Um, I am Keegan-Michael Key.
67
00:02:39,008 --> 00:02:40,560
- Yes, I'm Jordan Peele.
68
00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:43,705
- And we are Key and Peele.
Thanks for coming out.
69
00:02:44,759 --> 00:02:45,999
Tomorrow is Halloween.
70
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:47,734
- Yes.
- Yes, tomorrow is Halloween.
71
00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:49,402
- It's a Halloween episode.
- Halloween episode.
72
00:02:49,485 --> 00:02:51,571
What I don't understand
is monsters
73
00:02:51,654 --> 00:02:53,106
in horror movies now.
74
00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:55,283
Like, who wants
to fuck monsters?
75
00:02:55,558 --> 00:02:56,776
Apparently, everybody now.
76
00:02:56,859 --> 00:02:58,087
- It happened...
- Twlllght.
77
00:02:58,171 --> 00:02:59,643
Everyone's having sex
with vampires
78
00:02:59,727 --> 00:03:01,146
and werewolves and everybody.
79
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:02,648
I mean, you know,
remember in the '30s?
80
00:03:02,732 --> 00:03:04,642
Nobody wanted to have sex
with Frankenstein.
81
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,855
- No.
82
00:03:05,939 --> 00:03:07,557
- Square-ass head.
83
00:03:08,097 --> 00:03:09,356
Bolts coming out of his neck.
84
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,924
- Frankenstein having sex,
well, he'd just...
85
00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:13,769
he could just throw his dick
at a bitch, just...
86
00:03:13,853 --> 00:03:15,718
[growls]
87
00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:20,433
[Seductive industrial music]
88
00:03:20,516 --> 00:03:28,514
89
00:03:42,538 --> 00:03:46,126
Brothers and sisters.
90
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:47,627
- [Hisses]
91
00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,996
- Ah, tonight,
92
00:03:50,079 --> 00:03:52,165
the newest member
of our family
93
00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:54,167
will feast
for the first time.
94
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:58,138
[All hissing]
95
00:03:58,507 --> 00:04:03,210
Ophelia,
bring the new blood.
96
00:04:11,562 --> 00:04:12,991
Ahh.
97
00:04:13,624 --> 00:04:15,624
Brother Tyrell.
98
00:04:15,938 --> 00:04:19,526
Welcome to the first night
of your new...
99
00:04:19,609 --> 00:04:21,445
And what are we wearing here?
100
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:22,475
- W...
101
00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:24,930
uh, I-I'm just wearing
what I got bit in.
102
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,475
- Mm-hmm.
103
00:04:27,053 --> 00:04:28,632
Okay.
Do you have anything black?
104
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:32,439
Or, like, pants with laces
up the side of the leg...
105
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,040
- [hisses]
- Would be good,
106
00:04:34,123 --> 00:04:35,742
just so you can still see
the skin.
107
00:04:35,825 --> 00:04:37,544
[All gasping and hissing]
108
00:04:37,627 --> 00:04:38,578
- Uh, no.
109
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:40,249
That's not my style,
110
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,773
so I ain't got none of that in
my closet or nothing like that.
111
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,257
- Okay.
112
00:04:45,921 --> 00:04:49,359
Anyway, we will tonight
113
00:04:49,443 --> 00:04:50,945
all feast!
114
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:53,366
[All hissing]
- [Chortles]
115
00:05:08,157 --> 00:05:09,587
- Come on, man.
116
00:05:10,486 --> 00:05:11,544
- Excuse me?
117
00:05:11,627 --> 00:05:13,646
- I'm just saying,
y'all over here licking
118
00:05:13,729 --> 00:05:15,148
and... and hissing and whatnot.
119
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,275
If we gonna eat, then let's eat.
Damn.
120
00:05:19,502 --> 00:05:20,775
- Y-yes.
121
00:05:21,037 --> 00:05:24,165
Of course,
we will all feed.
122
00:05:24,249 --> 00:05:26,135
[All hissing]
123
00:05:26,219 --> 00:05:27,726
- Yeah, that's enough.
124
00:05:27,810 --> 00:05:30,454
- Spread the meat.
125
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,644
- [Whimpers]
126
00:05:45,361 --> 00:05:46,847
- Okay.
127
00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:51,851
Did any of that
actually get in your mouth?
128
00:05:52,136 --> 00:05:53,420
'Cause, I mean, now...
shoot.
129
00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:55,097
No wonder y'all's hungry
all the time.
130
00:05:55,204 --> 00:05:57,757
[All hissing]
131
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,755
See... uh-uh, uh-uh.
No, no, no, no.
132
00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:02,341
See, look, why y'all gotta hiss
when you flashing your fangs?
133
00:06:02,425 --> 00:06:03,463
You know you can make
your teeth come out
134
00:06:03,546 --> 00:06:05,932
without doing all that nonsense.
See?
135
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,228
And can you two get a room?
136
00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:12,172
Seriously, y'all live
in a damn mansion.
137
00:06:12,255 --> 00:06:13,940
There gotta be some other place
you could do that shit.
138
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:15,744
I mean, are you two
even lesbians?
139
00:06:16,392 --> 00:06:17,844
I just don't understand
why everything
140
00:06:17,927 --> 00:06:19,566
gotta be all sexual
and licky.
141
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:20,680
Girl, seriously, man.
142
00:06:20,763 --> 00:06:22,682
You gotta get your hands
up off me before I fuck you up.
143
00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:24,784
Shit is nasty.
Creepy as fuck.
144
00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:26,587
Been touching my nipple
for 15 minutes.
145
00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:28,939
All this shit
y'all is doing up in here?
146
00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:31,124
This is just, like,
straight-up gratuitous.
147
00:06:31,207 --> 00:06:32,659
I got bit on purpose,
so I could live forever
148
00:06:32,742 --> 00:06:34,103
and see future cars.
149
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,744
- Yeah, Cyrus,
these pants are uncomfortable.
150
00:06:37,947 --> 00:06:40,455
- And I actually
have a boyfriend.
151
00:06:40,716 --> 00:06:42,702
- And this song has been playing
for, like, two years,
152
00:06:42,785 --> 00:06:43,837
and it sucks.
153
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,305
- [Sighs]
154
00:06:45,388 --> 00:06:46,884
This just seems...
155
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:48,808
desperate.
156
00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:51,010
- Okay, desperate?
Really, Tristan?
157
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:52,679
- It's Christian.
158
00:06:53,095 --> 00:06:55,248
- Really?
- His name ain't even Tristan.
159
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,883
- So do you all
feel this way?
160
00:06:56,966 --> 00:06:58,318
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
161
00:06:58,401 --> 00:06:59,486
- Kinda.
- Yeah.
162
00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:00,798
- Yeah.
163
00:07:01,777 --> 00:07:03,029
- [Scoffs]
164
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:04,486
Wow.
165
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,694
It's like you can't even get
good friends...
166
00:07:07,777 --> 00:07:09,056
No, you're not even...
167
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,997
Okay, and you're leaving now.
That's...
168
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,832
- I mean, you know what,
dog, seriously,
169
00:07:12,915 --> 00:07:14,501
like, you could fix
this place up.
170
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:15,744
It'd be dope, though.
For real.
171
00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:17,703
Are cars gonna be able
to fly,
172
00:07:17,787 --> 00:07:20,496
or is everything going to be
on a magnetic track?
173
00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:21,508
I mean, that's what
I want to know.
174
00:07:21,591 --> 00:07:22,634
It's no big deal.
175
00:07:22,718 --> 00:07:24,577
- This O-negative
tastes like pennies.
176
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,246
- Oh, I'm sorry about...
Hey, hey.
177
00:07:26,329 --> 00:07:28,047
Come on, now, nipple play
is for private time.
178
00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:29,916
- What if all of this life
we think we're living
179
00:07:29,999 --> 00:07:31,551
is just a dream?
180
00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:33,494
And when we wake up...
181
00:07:34,048 --> 00:07:36,283
- This is such bullshit,
you guys.
182
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,759
[Soul music]
183
00:07:39,842 --> 00:07:41,353
You guys know
what extras are?
184
00:07:41,644 --> 00:07:42,962
[Cheers and applause]
185
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,731
- They are...
they are the unsung heroes
186
00:07:44,814 --> 00:07:47,267
of the television
and the film industry.
187
00:07:47,351 --> 00:07:48,869
- It's true, it's true.
- Yes, because they're
188
00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:50,509
the people that stand
in the background.
189
00:07:50,593 --> 00:07:52,771
They don't have lines,
but they make up the world.
190
00:07:52,855 --> 00:07:54,407
- It's fun to us
when you see somebody
191
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:56,798
maybe who's new
who doesn't get how to do it,
192
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,711
which happens on our show.
193
00:07:58,794 --> 00:08:00,097
- There was one, our first...
194
00:08:00,181 --> 00:08:01,714
- This is
our favorite encounter...
195
00:08:01,797 --> 00:08:02,715
- This is our favorite encounter
that we've ever had.
196
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:04,103
- With a guy, and we...
197
00:08:04,187 --> 00:08:05,314
To be fair, we didn't give him
an exact line.
198
00:08:05,398 --> 00:08:06,382
We said, all right,
say what you think
199
00:08:06,466 --> 00:08:07,962
would come out of your mouth.
200
00:08:08,046 --> 00:08:09,275
- Jordan's playing Obama.
Right.
201
00:08:09,359 --> 00:08:11,157
And this guy
was meeting Obama.
202
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,625
It was like, "Action!"
And Jordan goes,
203
00:08:12,708 --> 00:08:13,927
"How you doing?
Nice to meet you, everybody.
204
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,261
How you doing?
Nice to meet you."
205
00:08:15,344 --> 00:08:17,189
- [High-pitched babbling]
206
00:08:18,381 --> 00:08:20,806
- He just got his...
207
00:08:21,537 --> 00:08:23,122
- Huge, masculine black dude,
by the way.
208
00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:24,670
- Big, big dude.
- It's actually...
209
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:25,905
you can actually
look this up.
210
00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:28,009
It's the Obama ATM sketch.
211
00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:30,290
We actually slowed it down.
We're like, what is he saying?
212
00:08:30,374 --> 00:08:32,447
He's saying, "Hey, what's up,
Obama, baby?"
213
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:41,955
Hey, man,
this your first time?
214
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:43,546
- Oh, man.
215
00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:46,150
I been doing zombie extra work
on this show since...
216
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,920
[chuckles]
Day one, first season, man.
217
00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:49,439
- My first time.
218
00:08:49,523 --> 00:08:50,741
- Oh, it's your first time
on this show?
219
00:08:51,127 --> 00:08:53,967
- My first time
being extra at all.
220
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,603
- Ever?
- I'm kind of nervous.
221
00:08:55,687 --> 00:08:57,405
- Oh, wow. Okay, man.
Hey, man, it's...
222
00:08:57,791 --> 00:08:59,372
It's all right.
But you'll be all right, man.
223
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,007
It's okay, man.
It's not that hard, man.
224
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,375
You'll be all right.
I'm...
225
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,810
Me personally, dude,
I'm looking
226
00:09:03,893 --> 00:09:05,311
for that lunge bump, though.
[Chuckles]
227
00:09:05,394 --> 00:09:07,447
- What's...
what's a lunge bump?
228
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:09,015
- Oh, that's, uh,
like, if you, um,
229
00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:11,284
you get featured
if you lunge at somebody,
230
00:09:11,502 --> 00:09:13,052
and then you get
a bump in your pay.
231
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,636
And if you really lucky, man,
they blow your head off.
232
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,011
That's straight bank
right there.
233
00:09:17,095 --> 00:09:18,224
- All right, extras.
234
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,059
I'm the assistant director.
Gather round.
235
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,728
- Jerry, hey, Jerry,
I had a thought, man,
236
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:22,830
about the first scene
that y'all's doing...
237
00:09:22,914 --> 00:09:24,062
- Not now, Stan.
- Steve, it's Steve.
238
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,400
- Okay.
- Okay.
239
00:09:25,484 --> 00:09:27,119
- I'm gonna need somebody
to lunge at the fence.
240
00:09:27,203 --> 00:09:29,674
- [Growling]
- You think you can handle it?
241
00:09:29,885 --> 00:09:32,404
- Him?
- Uh, yeah.
242
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:33,906
- It's his first day, though.
He kind of nervous, man.
243
00:09:33,989 --> 00:09:35,541
He kind of nervous.
It's his first day.
244
00:09:35,624 --> 00:09:37,477
- Okay, so the director's
gonna yell "action,"
245
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,178
Mack's gonna come by,
246
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:40,879
and then you're just gonna lunge
into the fence, like...
247
00:09:40,963 --> 00:09:42,915
[growls]
Graaah!
248
00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:44,884
- Y-you want me to say
"Grah"?
249
00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:46,019
- Oh, this is...
- Say whatever.
250
00:09:46,102 --> 00:09:47,687
- This is crazy.
Okay, all right.
251
00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:49,205
Cool, man... hey, you know... hey.
That's cool. Hey.
252
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,405
Hey, you know I got
a lot more experience, man.
253
00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:51,847
You can just use me.
I been here day one.
254
00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:53,603
First season, so...
Okay.
255
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,360
Cool, all right, that's fine.
You gonna go with him.
256
00:09:55,444 --> 00:09:56,879
All right, good for you, man.
Good for you.
257
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,097
- Grah? Grah?
258
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,532
- Nah, don't...
You don't have to say "grah."
259
00:09:59,615 --> 00:10:00,994
Do whatever the hell
you want to do, man.
260
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,668
- That's the lunge bump?
- That is the lunge bump, man.
261
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:04,095
You got it, you got it
262
00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:08,197
on your first day
ever being an extra.
263
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:09,342
[Bell rings]
Ever.
264
00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:10,843
You got it, man.
Good for you.
265
00:10:10,926 --> 00:10:12,267
- And action.
266
00:10:12,351 --> 00:10:15,614
[Eerie music]
267
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,418
268
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:19,619
- [high-pitched voice]
Aah!
269
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,056
What's up, Obama, my baby?
270
00:10:21,706 --> 00:10:23,447
- What the hell was that?
Cut.
271
00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:26,725
- Oh, man, I would be
more than happy to fill in, man.
272
00:10:26,809 --> 00:10:28,855
I'd be more than happy
to step in.
273
00:10:28,939 --> 00:10:30,096
- Mack, just remember
274
00:10:30,179 --> 00:10:31,631
when you're coming
through the factory that, like,
275
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,486
your mind is still
on the car accident, all right?
276
00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:35,067
- Y'all gotta pick people
based on qualifications, man.
277
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:37,400
- Okay.
It's a good note, good note.
278
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:41,056
But maybe what I was doing
sort of superseded that.
279
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,675
- Agreed.
Yeah, we were just...
280
00:10:42,759 --> 00:10:43,776
- Yep.
- Discussing that.
281
00:10:43,859 --> 00:10:45,278
Absolutely, it supersedes it,
yeah.
282
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:46,978
But let's do one
that just cedes it, okay?
283
00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:48,384
Just same level.
284
00:10:48,468 --> 00:10:49,620
We're going again
straightaway, okay?
285
00:10:49,704 --> 00:10:51,056
- Wow, okay.
- Right away, reset.
286
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:53,121
- He's not doing
a good job at it.
287
00:10:53,205 --> 00:10:54,554
You're doing great,
though, man.
288
00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:55,674
Opportunity knocks,
you gotta answer the door, man.
289
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:58,611
- And action.
- [Growling]
290
00:10:58,695 --> 00:11:01,615
[Eerie music]
291
00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:04,319
292
00:11:04,403 --> 00:11:07,099
- [high-pitched voice]
Me-me-me-me, me-me, me-me-me-me!
293
00:11:07,502 --> 00:11:08,400
- Cut.
294
00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:10,503
- I'd be more than happy
to step in
295
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,105
at any time
you want me to.
296
00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:13,590
I'd be more than happy
to do it.
297
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,039
- Just a certain sense
of urgency
298
00:11:15,123 --> 00:11:16,275
is all we're looking for.
299
00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:18,277
Clock's ticking, you got
survivors to find, right?
300
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,814
- Can I tell y'all something
for a second?
301
00:11:19,898 --> 00:11:21,588
This dude right here is not
doing what a zombie does.
302
00:11:21,672 --> 00:11:23,424
This dude was literally
on our last take
303
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,293
waving his hand up in the air
like this, Jerry,
304
00:11:25,377 --> 00:11:26,603
making Beaker sounds.
305
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:29,220
He sounded like Beaker
from The Muppets, y'all.
306
00:11:29,304 --> 00:11:30,431
- Thank you, that's great.
307
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,345
Just a ticking clock on this
is all we're looking for,
308
00:11:32,429 --> 00:11:33,728
because there are survivors,
is what we're after.
309
00:11:33,812 --> 00:11:36,532
- Okay,
but I felt ambivalence in there.
310
00:11:36,757 --> 00:11:39,541
- The ambivalence is art.
It's gorgeous, and we love it.
311
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,900
But there are zombies, so if we
could just pick up the pace,
312
00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:43,169
just a hair, that'd be great.
- Little bit.
313
00:11:43,253 --> 00:11:44,814
- Straightaway please,
right away.
314
00:11:44,898 --> 00:11:46,604
- But, Jerry, we're not doing
Nlght of the Llvlng Muppets,
315
00:11:46,688 --> 00:11:47,845
are we?
- We are not.
316
00:11:47,929 --> 00:11:49,494
- 'Cause Beaker is not a zombie.
- Do you have any notes?
317
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,400
- Yeah, don't be
fucking Beaker.
318
00:11:51,484 --> 00:11:52,569
- Quiet, please.
- Action.
319
00:11:52,653 --> 00:11:55,406
[Eerie music]
320
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,003
- [High-pitched voice]
I'm gonna eat your brain!
321
00:11:57,087 --> 00:11:58,005
Zombie.
322
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:58,955
- Cut.
323
00:11:59,039 --> 00:11:59,892
- No!
324
00:11:59,976 --> 00:12:02,674
He actually just said
the word "zombie"!
325
00:12:02,758 --> 00:12:03,806
Come on, man!
326
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,656
You ever hear a zombie
say the word "zombie" before?
327
00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,244
No, you haven't.
I don't think so.
328
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:08,408
- You know what?
Get rid of this guy.
329
00:12:08,492 --> 00:12:10,267
- Thank you!
That's what I'm talking about.
330
00:12:10,351 --> 00:12:11,955
Dude, I'm sorry, dog,
but you terrible at this, man.
331
00:12:12,039 --> 00:12:13,595
- Him.
- Hey, man, no.
332
00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:15,131
He talking about him.
He's talking about him,
333
00:12:15,215 --> 00:12:16,500
'cause he said "zombie."
- Thank you, Steve.
334
00:12:16,584 --> 00:12:17,783
- Because...
No, you want me to leave?
335
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,519
Hey, man, I been up here
staggering around here
336
00:12:19,603 --> 00:12:20,697
for 31/2 years,
337
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,627
and I been startling extras
left and right.
338
00:12:22,711 --> 00:12:24,377
When do I get
to startle the lead, huh?
339
00:12:24,461 --> 00:12:25,838
- One more for safety.
Straightaway, here we go.
340
00:12:25,922 --> 00:12:26,799
- Going again.
- Still rolling.
341
00:12:26,883 --> 00:12:27,900
Action.
342
00:12:28,390 --> 00:12:31,377
[Eerie music]
343
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:33,685
- Hey, what do we do
344
00:12:33,769 --> 00:12:35,283
if we have to go
to the bathroom?
345
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:36,832
- We like it?
346
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:39,244
- I love it. Genius. Moving on.
- I got it.
347
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,878
[Soul music]
348
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,946
- I was in...
I was in first class once.
349
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:45,248
You ever fly first class?
350
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,806
[Scattered cheers]
351
00:12:47,890 --> 00:12:49,517
They give you that hot towel.
352
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,620
- And when you're sitting
next to a person who, like...
353
00:12:55,704 --> 00:12:57,285
it's your first time
in first class,
354
00:12:57,369 --> 00:12:58,428
and you're sitting
next to a person
355
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,696
who knows
how to use the towel.
356
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,097
The person that,
you know...
357
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:02,565
he's using his towel.
358
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,095
You're just out there
talking about...
359
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,603
- I wouldn't...
I wouldn't...
360
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,144
No, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't.
361
00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:17,790
You don't want to do that.
362
00:13:18,454 --> 00:13:21,290
- You will be in room 237.
363
00:13:21,783 --> 00:13:23,595
And you have
free Wi-Fi there.
364
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:26,289
Also, from 6:00 a.m.
to 10:00 a.m. every morning,
365
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,400
there's a free
continental breakfast.
366
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,642
- Hmm.
367
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:33,963
Continental breakfast.
368
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,681
- Yes, from 6:00 a.m.
to 10:00 a.m.
369
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,235
- So it's continental, then.
370
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,540
- Mm-hmm, yep.
371
00:13:43,105 --> 00:13:44,150
- Very good.
372
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,814
Gar?on.
[Chuckles]
373
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:54,750
One admission
for the continental breakfast.
374
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,519
- You can just
help yourself, sir.
375
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,521
- Hmm, interesting.
376
00:13:58,604 --> 00:13:59,856
European style.
377
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,040
[Light classical music]
378
00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:02,476
[Chuckling]
379
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:05,017
Mm.
380
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:07,964
Ahh.
381
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,620
When in Rome...
382
00:14:10,704 --> 00:14:13,836
383
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,165
Hmm, the forbidden fruit.
384
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:19,829
[Chuckles]
385
00:14:20,134 --> 00:14:22,879
Well, aren't you
a tiny plum?
386
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:25,087
387
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:30,009
Well, la-di-da.
388
00:14:31,322 --> 00:14:32,900
Paper and everything.
389
00:14:33,212 --> 00:14:35,525
And who are you,
390
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,428
my little friend?
391
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:40,415
Not a spoon,
not a fork,
392
00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:42,398
but something in between.
393
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,000
A "fpoon."
394
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,535
[Chuckles]
395
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:48,650
What will you think of next,
Germany?
396
00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:52,338
[Humming softly]
397
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:53,376
Ahh.
398
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,837
[Chuckles]
399
00:14:54,921 --> 00:14:58,540
All the "Euro-pine" countries
lay before me.
400
00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:02,611
Where should I fly to first?
401
00:15:02,939 --> 00:15:04,579
Ahh.
402
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,856
The pit of the doughnut.
403
00:15:07,048 --> 00:15:09,728
Mm, thank you, Turkey.
404
00:15:10,072 --> 00:15:11,628
Mm, buckle up.
405
00:15:11,904 --> 00:15:13,589
Let's see
where we shall go next.
406
00:15:13,673 --> 00:15:15,814
Ah, the Danish!
407
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:17,800
Clearly from Brussels.
408
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,245
Mmm.
409
00:15:19,329 --> 00:15:21,204
Mmm, mmm!
410
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:22,538
Mmm!
411
00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:23,973
Hello, Greece,
412
00:15:24,264 --> 00:15:26,050
where the yogurt flows
like water.
413
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,003
[Slurping]
414
00:15:28,087 --> 00:15:29,751
Mmm, yes,
415
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,683
like Go-GURT,
but to stay.
416
00:15:32,934 --> 00:15:34,050
[Chuckles]
417
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,410
Mmm.
418
00:15:35,494 --> 00:15:37,535
Mmm, so good!
419
00:15:37,619 --> 00:15:39,845
Mmm, pulling into Spain.
420
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:41,891
Mm!
421
00:15:42,165 --> 00:15:43,829
Baked to perfection.
422
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:45,294
Can you believe this?
423
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:46,896
It all comes with the room!
424
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,798
[Laughing]
425
00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:50,574
Mmm!
426
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,040
Mmm, mmm!
427
00:15:53,555 --> 00:15:54,473
Yes!
428
00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:55,872
Mmm!
429
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,573
I love being incontinent!
430
00:15:57,861 --> 00:15:59,375
I love
being incontinent!
431
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,877
A delight to the senses,
432
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,329
isn't it, my friend?
433
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,931
Isn't it? Yes!
434
00:16:05,806 --> 00:16:07,869
I'll have
what I'm having!
435
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,009
[Music crescendos]
I'll have...
436
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,388
what I'm having!
437
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,290
[Woman singing angelically]
438
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:18,661
[Sobbing]
439
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,431
So good.
440
00:16:20,937 --> 00:16:23,439
It's so good.
441
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,739
- Oh, good afternoon, sir.
How can I help you?
442
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,602
- Well, Davis,
443
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:34,952
I will be staying
indefinitely.
444
00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:38,848
- But, sir, don't you know
that you've always been here?
445
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,851
[Big band music]
446
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:45,154
447
00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:47,156
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
448
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,233
- Continental breakfast?
449
00:16:50,101 --> 00:16:51,523
- Right around the corner.
450
00:16:53,245 --> 00:17:01,243
451
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,140
[soul music]
452
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,144
- You guys know that guy
that always says,
453
00:17:23,228 --> 00:17:26,361
"Hey, man, everything happen
for a reason"?
454
00:17:27,295 --> 00:17:29,147
Ever... you know,
the guy who says,
455
00:17:29,231 --> 00:17:31,150
"Everything happen
for a reason,"
456
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:32,244
doesn't have
a fucking job.
457
00:17:32,328 --> 00:17:34,147
You ever notice that?
458
00:17:34,231 --> 00:17:36,205
- [Laughs]
459
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,957
- I think I know the reason
for that.
460
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,705
'Cause your ass...
461
00:17:40,789 --> 00:17:42,493
you showed up late,
talking about,
462
00:17:42,577 --> 00:17:45,410
"Everything happen
for a reason."
463
00:17:47,516 --> 00:17:49,468
[Eerie music]
464
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:57,549
465
00:18:01,697 --> 00:18:02,656
- Could be worse.
466
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,468
- Not that bad.
467
00:18:04,552 --> 00:18:06,252
- For me,
it's all about perspective.
468
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,519
- It's what you make
of it.
469
00:18:07,602 --> 00:18:08,265
- Look, can I tell you
something?
470
00:18:08,349 --> 00:18:09,593
All things considered,
471
00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:11,856
I'm actually kind of comfortable
right now.
472
00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:13,132
Thank God for shock.
473
00:18:13,216 --> 00:18:15,760
- I can be the kind of prisoner
I want to be.
474
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,734
- We're still alive.
- Thank you. Right?
475
00:18:17,818 --> 00:18:20,898
- Mm-hmm.
- Just two injured buddies.
476
00:18:20,982 --> 00:18:22,700
- Yes, yeah, mm-hmm.
477
00:18:22,784 --> 00:18:24,503
- Having a friendly convo
while we're waiting
478
00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:26,038
to get tortured again.
479
00:18:26,121 --> 00:18:27,648
- And, you know,
there's a kind of a positive
480
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,251
in having no options...
481
00:18:29,335 --> 00:18:30,335
- Yes.
- Because, you know,
482
00:18:30,419 --> 00:18:31,687
we're not even gonna try
to escape
483
00:18:31,771 --> 00:18:33,456
'cause we know we'd fail.
- Yes.
484
00:18:33,665 --> 00:18:35,570
Tell you another thing.
Don't miss the arm.
485
00:18:35,654 --> 00:18:37,335
- Really?
- First of all, lefty.
486
00:18:37,419 --> 00:18:39,710
Okay? So this thing
pretty much got in the way.
487
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:41,446
- Ha.
- Keep it, buddy!
488
00:18:41,557 --> 00:18:43,143
[Metal screeches]
489
00:18:43,227 --> 00:18:45,947
- You fools,
blathering away!
490
00:18:46,031 --> 00:18:47,249
[Chuckles]
491
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:50,662
Your suffering
has only just begun.
492
00:18:50,746 --> 00:18:51,585
- Wow.
493
00:18:51,669 --> 00:18:54,632
That is a perfect summation
of the human condition.
494
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:56,765
And once you've embraced that,
you can do anything.
495
00:18:56,849 --> 00:18:59,869
- Bingo.
- [Screams]
496
00:19:00,154 --> 00:19:02,867
No one has ever suffered
497
00:19:02,951 --> 00:19:04,036
as you will!
498
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:06,544
[Laughing]
499
00:19:06,628 --> 00:19:08,288
- You love your work,
500
00:19:08,372 --> 00:19:10,891
and that kind
of a positive attitude,
501
00:19:11,028 --> 00:19:12,417
quite frankly,
it's contagious.
502
00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:13,656
- It is.
503
00:19:14,042 --> 00:19:17,476
- Well, we'll see
how positive you're feeling
504
00:19:17,704 --> 00:19:20,148
after I cover your body
in gasoline
505
00:19:20,232 --> 00:19:22,318
and set you on fire!
506
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,626
- You know what, it's amazing
that you would say that,
507
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:26,999
'cause I was just thinking it's
getting a little chilly in here.
508
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,600
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks so much, man.
509
00:19:28,992 --> 00:19:31,109
- Damn it!
510
00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:34,173
[Screams]
511
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,008
- What a dramatic
and fascinating man.
512
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,288
- I think
we owe him big-time.
513
00:19:38,372 --> 00:19:39,538
- As do I.
- Really.
514
00:19:39,622 --> 00:19:41,679
I mean, all this time
away from my computer,
515
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:42,948
my phone, my work,
it's just...
516
00:19:43,031 --> 00:19:44,616
I feel unplugged.
517
00:19:44,699 --> 00:19:46,185
- Yes, yes. Oh.
518
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,242
- Oh.
[Rat squeaking]
519
00:19:49,037 --> 00:19:51,437
Both: Aww.
520
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,799
- Circle of life.
- Nants Ingonyama.
521
00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:57,916
- You know, I can't really feel
anything anyway,
522
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,719
so you help yourself, buddy.
523
00:19:59,815 --> 00:20:02,479
[Saw whirring]
524
00:20:05,821 --> 00:20:07,139
- Oh, what do you got there?
525
00:20:07,222 --> 00:20:08,417
- Do you see this?
526
00:20:08,501 --> 00:20:12,292
This is what I'm going to use
to cut off your legs!
527
00:20:13,316 --> 00:20:14,911
- Finally!
528
00:20:14,995 --> 00:20:16,248
- That's a great saw.
529
00:20:16,331 --> 00:20:18,450
I'm a home improvement guy,
and I know my saws,
530
00:20:18,533 --> 00:20:20,386
and I gotta tell you,
if you're cutting off legs,
531
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,050
that is the way to go.
- That's the one?
532
00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:23,956
- That is definitely the one.
Good on ya.
533
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,123
- Why are you doing this to me?
534
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,393
You're making me crazy!
535
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,228
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
536
00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:30,573
Somebody needs a day off.
537
00:20:30,657 --> 00:20:32,831
- We, of all people,
should know how hard he works.
538
00:20:32,915 --> 00:20:34,182
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
539
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,175
- [Giggling, sobbing]
540
00:20:36,259 --> 00:20:37,244
Make them stop!
541
00:20:37,328 --> 00:20:38,746
This is torture!
542
00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:43,096
No!
543
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,578
- Jordan, say good-bye
to the people.
544
00:20:46,661 --> 00:20:47,723
- [High-pitched voice]
Mm...
545
00:20:47,807 --> 00:20:50,286
bye-bye, Obama, baby.
546
00:20:50,895 --> 00:20:52,017
- Good night, everybody.
547
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:53,598
Happy Halloween!
548
00:20:53,682 --> 00:20:56,575
Both: Happy Halloween!
549
00:20:57,559 --> 00:21:00,658
-
I'm gonna do
my one line here
550
00:21:00,742 --> 00:21:02,733
- Oh, yeah.
551
00:21:04,184 --> 00:21:06,165
- This guy came
to the therapist, and he said,
552
00:21:06,248 --> 00:21:09,475
"My wife has been cheating
on me, and I don't know...
553
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,811
My marriage is falling apart.
What am I gonna do?"
554
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:13,439
Therapist talking about, "Hey.
555
00:21:13,984 --> 00:21:16,600
It's just one more thread
in the rich tapestry of life."
556
00:21:16,684 --> 00:21:19,507
- Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Ripped By mstoll
557
00:21:19,563 --> 00:21:20,414
Resync BluRay by LeRalouf
558
00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:25,014
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38918
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tatar
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof