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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,305 --> 00:00:26,073 There's gotta be another human being out there. 2 00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:30,250 Somewhere. 3 00:00:39,751 --> 00:00:43,948 It's been 173 days since the undoing. 4 00:00:47,072 --> 00:00:50,670 Today, I may be the last man alive. 5 00:00:52,227 --> 00:00:55,150 However, if there is another, 6 00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:57,458 I will find them. 7 00:00:58,377 --> 00:01:00,766 The loneliness is more than I can... 8 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,082 Whoo-hoo! 9 00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:08,961 Yeah! Whee! 10 00:01:09,807 --> 00:01:11,352 Ha ha! 11 00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:14,649 Whoo-hoo. There you go. 12 00:01:14,854 --> 00:01:17,022 Ahh. Let me get some of that. 13 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:21,344 Mm. Mmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 14 00:01:22,855 --> 00:01:24,067 Oh, yeah! 15 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,882 That's my jam right there! 16 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,680 Whoo! 17 00:01:29,212 --> 00:01:30,397 Hazzah! 18 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,194 Wah, shakikah! Wah, shaslikah! 19 00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:35,270 Ooh, y'all don't know nothin' about that. 20 00:01:35,353 --> 00:01:37,542 Mm, mm. Ptt-ptt-ptt-ptt. 21 00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:39,524 Oh, hey baby, how you doing? 22 00:01:40,951 --> 00:01:42,140 Yeah! 23 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:44,493 What, all day, baby! 24 00:01:46,763 --> 00:01:47,813 Yeah! 25 00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:53,897 Whoa, hey! Dude! 26 00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,298 Um, hey, I'll... I'll come over there. 27 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,068 Dude! Hey! 28 00:01:58,549 --> 00:02:00,133 I'll come to you, man. 29 00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:18,610 There's got to be another human being out there... 30 00:02:20,248 --> 00:02:21,893 somewhere. 31 00:02:37,396 --> 00:02:42,285 Sync & corrections by dwigt www.addic7ed.com 32 00:02:42,353 --> 00:02:44,054 Resync BluRay by LeRalouf 33 00:02:51,035 --> 00:02:52,302 Thank you so much. 34 00:02:52,452 --> 00:02:54,626 - I am Keegan-Michael Key. - I am Jordan Peele. 35 00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:56,349 We are Key and Peele. Welcome to the show. 36 00:03:03,749 --> 00:03:04,927 So, uh... 37 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,170 - I didn't really know my father. - Mm-hmm, yes. 38 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:08,571 Didn't really know... never really knew my father. 39 00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:09,839 I was raised by my mother, single mom. 40 00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:11,908 - Single moms in the house! - Single moms! 41 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,053 Single moms are not in the house, because they're... 42 00:03:14,136 --> 00:03:16,256 They're at home with their kids... raising their kids. 43 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,281 Thank you. Thank you for playing anyway. 44 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:21,366 They seldom... seldom get out of the house. Sorry... 45 00:03:21,463 --> 00:03:23,033 Well I had one of those dads who was, like, 46 00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:24,500 apparently just one of those dudes 47 00:03:24,596 --> 00:03:27,677 Had about 54 children in the span of two years, you know? 48 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,486 - It was a Temptations thing. - All across America? 49 00:03:29,569 --> 00:03:31,246 Papa was a rollin' stone. Yes, he was. 50 00:03:31,329 --> 00:03:33,830 He must've just gone on a bus tour and, like, 51 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:37,000 sticked his penis out the window, just every... 52 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,836 every city he was in. "There you go. 53 00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,272 "There's one of me for you guys. 54 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,701 "One of me for you guys. 55 00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,341 "Syracuse. 56 00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,711 - "Tampa." - Bu... wow. 57 00:03:48,794 --> 00:03:51,037 That is a hell of a lot of gas. 58 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:54,230 But this, right here, this is a hypothetical meeting. 59 00:03:54,313 --> 00:03:57,466 Like a hypothetical meeting of Jordan and his father. 60 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:15,086 Um, hi. Are you Earl Peele? 61 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,452 Who the hell want to know? 62 00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,837 I think I'm your son, Jordan Peele. 63 00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:24,122 Oh, okay, I see. 64 00:04:25,953 --> 00:04:27,620 Come on in here for a minute. 65 00:04:28,182 --> 00:04:30,212 - Close the door on the way in. - All right. 66 00:04:34,189 --> 00:04:35,768 All right, man, go ahead and sit down. 67 00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:37,374 I'm gonna explain something to you. 68 00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:38,444 Okay. 69 00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:45,633 I ain't your dad. 70 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:47,946 All right, I'm sorry to disappoint you, 71 00:04:48,029 --> 00:04:49,933 but that's the situation, brother. 72 00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,278 Are you... you see what's happening? 73 00:04:54,434 --> 00:04:56,145 - Huh? - We're doing the same thing. 74 00:04:56,228 --> 00:04:59,482 I-I always do this. I always scratch the back of my neck like this 75 00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:01,698 whenever I'm in an uncomfortable situation. 76 00:05:02,596 --> 00:05:05,710 Scratch my neck, man. Everybody scratch their neck. 77 00:05:06,111 --> 00:05:09,298 I breathe in and out too, man. Now everybody my kid? 78 00:05:09,381 --> 00:05:10,648 Okay, look at this. 79 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,861 That's a picture of me when I was a baby. 80 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,867 That's my father. 81 00:05:16,631 --> 00:05:17,718 That ain't me. 82 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,335 Man, look, look, man, look at that dude's afro. 83 00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:22,472 Look, I got this going on, man. 84 00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:25,058 My hair is gray, he got black hair. 85 00:05:25,141 --> 00:05:28,653 I mean, he handsome as hell, but I ain't nobody's daddy. 86 00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:35,334 I'm sorry. 87 00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:38,855 I've just been looking for him everywhere. 88 00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:40,701 Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you have. 89 00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:43,248 It's just, I got my own TV show now. 90 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:49,899 I don't know, I just... 91 00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:53,681 I know that wherever he is, he... he would be proud. 92 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,972 Y-you got your own TV show, huh? 93 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,251 - Yeah. - Yeah. 94 00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:59,802 Yeah, I'm producing and acting. 95 00:05:59,898 --> 00:06:02,397 Mm, oh, you, oh, you producing and acting! 96 00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:05,649 Right, okay, yeah, that... oh, that... that's my boy. 97 00:06:06,743 --> 00:06:08,727 Yeah, look at that, man, we doing the same thing. 98 00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:11,264 What is that? Holy [bleep]. 99 00:06:11,348 --> 00:06:13,783 That's genes right there, man. 'cause you can't do that 100 00:06:13,866 --> 00:06:15,664 unless you sharing mad genes with somebody. 101 00:06:15,747 --> 00:06:17,258 It's got to be in your DNAs. 102 00:06:18,249 --> 00:06:19,823 - Oh! - All right. 103 00:06:19,907 --> 00:06:21,842 - You my son. - No. 104 00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:23,781 - My baby boy! - Thanks for your time. 105 00:06:23,864 --> 00:06:24,933 You come back home, man. 106 00:06:25,016 --> 00:06:26,871 - I missed you so much, little man! - Okay, hey, stop it. 107 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:27,815 Stop... get off, get off! 108 00:06:27,898 --> 00:06:30,604 - Just get off... get off! - Get off, wha... oh, hey. 109 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:31,923 Oh. 110 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,066 When I first came to your door, you wouldn't even acknow... 111 00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:03,873 - Okay. - Okay. 112 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,390 You know what? When I first came in here... 113 00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:07,004 - I first came in here... - Stop that! 114 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,408 When I first came in here, you wouldn't even acknowledge 115 00:07:11,491 --> 00:07:13,316 that I could possibly be your son. 116 00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,485 But now, only after I tell you 117 00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,605 that I have my own show on Comedy Central... 118 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,179 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Comedy Central? 119 00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,075 Get the [bleep] out of my house! 120 00:07:28,904 --> 00:07:30,033 So, uh, 121 00:07:30,656 --> 00:07:33,261 Keegan and I are... we're fans of gay people. 122 00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:35,208 - We love gay people. - Our gay brothers and sisters. 123 00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:36,302 Yep, where are my gay people? 124 00:07:36,385 --> 00:07:37,729 - In the house. - Oh, here's... 125 00:07:37,812 --> 00:07:39,286 You guys need one of these too. 126 00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:40,867 - There he is, okay. - You guys need one of the... 127 00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:42,042 Maybe that one? 128 00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,649 You... you deserve one. 129 00:07:43,732 --> 00:07:46,457 You know, gay people say you're born gay, you know, you... 130 00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:47,791 - It's not a choice. - Right. 131 00:07:47,874 --> 00:07:49,671 I believe that, but, you know, some... you know, 132 00:07:49,754 --> 00:07:52,212 you're not born gaaay! 133 00:07:52,296 --> 00:07:54,148 - You're not born doing that. - That's true. 134 00:07:54,231 --> 00:07:55,683 You're not born doing that. 135 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,385 That's training. 136 00:07:57,468 --> 00:07:58,886 That's conditioning and training. 137 00:07:58,969 --> 00:08:01,161 No one was giving birth and [bleep] jazz hands came out. 138 00:08:01,244 --> 00:08:03,658 There was no... 139 00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:07,461 That doesn't happen. You have to learn some things. 140 00:08:07,544 --> 00:08:09,407 Oh, man. It doesn't. 141 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,381 - Here, check that... - Check this out. 142 00:08:16,308 --> 00:08:18,326 I'm going to be honest with you, Samuel. 143 00:08:18,535 --> 00:08:20,540 Adoption can be a long, difficult process. 144 00:08:20,624 --> 00:08:23,253 I'm sorry, we should probably wait for my partner. 145 00:08:23,355 --> 00:08:24,623 - Okay. - He should be here any second. 146 00:08:24,706 --> 00:08:26,696 We havin' a baby! 147 00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:28,910 We havin' a baby! 148 00:08:28,993 --> 00:08:32,334 We gonna raise it, and feed it, and change it 149 00:08:32,418 --> 00:08:34,989 And dress it up like a peapod 150 00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:36,412 Hello, Sammy. 151 00:08:36,863 --> 00:08:38,112 You must be LaShawn. 152 00:08:38,196 --> 00:08:40,113 Ooh! You must be "LeCorrect." 153 00:08:41,411 --> 00:08:45,234 Okay, well, we were just discussing your options for adoption. 154 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,835 And how difficult it is to actually be approved. 155 00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:49,569 Oh, well you can just put us on the list 156 00:08:49,653 --> 00:08:51,945 with a gold star and a check and a "A+" 157 00:08:52,028 --> 00:08:55,362 because we want this baby, like, yester-doodle. 158 00:08:55,445 --> 00:08:57,244 Well, as I told your husband, 159 00:08:57,327 --> 00:08:59,222 it can be an extremely long waiting period. 160 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:02,710 Right, right. And it's even hard for straight couples to adopt, so... 161 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,126 Well, you tell them baby people that we are going to be 162 00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:07,321 the best parents ever. 163 00:09:07,404 --> 00:09:09,390 Because we gonna be strict, but also fun. 164 00:09:09,473 --> 00:09:11,625 Like, for instance, everybody gonna have to clean up 165 00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,360 after Tuesday night Dress-up Parade. 166 00:09:13,566 --> 00:09:15,506 I... do not know what that is. 167 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:16,397 I... 168 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,046 Oh, every day gonna have a different theme. 169 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,451 - Is it? - So, for instance, 170 00:09:19,535 --> 00:09:21,618 Monday, that's gonna be "Under the Sea" day. 171 00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:23,654 Tuesday, that's gonna be "Dress-up Parade." 172 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:26,073 Wednesday gonna be based on the Chinese calendar. 173 00:09:26,156 --> 00:09:28,709 Thursday gonna be "Sing What Ya Doing" day. 174 00:09:28,792 --> 00:09:30,346 - Okay, and you know, actually... - And then Friday... 175 00:09:30,429 --> 00:09:33,374 It might be very difficult when you actually have kids, LaShawn. 176 00:09:33,457 --> 00:09:35,850 Kids? Do you want to adopt more than one child? 177 00:09:35,933 --> 00:09:39,335 - Absolutely not! - Absolutely-tutely! 178 00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:40,837 It can speed things up 179 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,134 if you're willing to adopt siblings together. 180 00:09:43,506 --> 00:09:45,365 - Sammy, we can get a set. - Why? 181 00:09:45,808 --> 00:09:48,927 - Sammy, we can get a set! - We're not getting a set. 182 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,490 Ooh! (clicks tongue) 183 00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:52,600 We could dress them up like companion objects. 184 00:09:52,683 --> 00:09:54,535 Like a bat and a ball, or a kite in the wind. 185 00:09:54,618 --> 00:09:56,423 See? LaShawn gets carried away, so... 186 00:09:56,506 --> 00:09:58,606 If you really want to expedite the process, 187 00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:00,397 you could adopt a special needs baby. 188 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,476 - Miss, you are killing me here! - Yes! 189 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,322 Yes, that's what we want. A special needs kid, 190 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,781 preferably one with white eyes and can tell the future. 191 00:10:07,864 --> 00:10:09,761 Okay, so now we're getting a special needs kid. 192 00:10:09,844 --> 00:10:11,351 Uh, LaShawn, there's a lot of extra cost 193 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,859 When you get a disabled child, 194 00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:14,204 because that's what, actually, "special needs" means. 195 00:10:14,287 --> 00:10:16,372 Come on. We ain't never gonna have to worry about money again! 196 00:10:16,455 --> 00:10:17,513 How is that possible? 197 00:10:17,596 --> 00:10:18,825 'Cause we gonna start a family band, 198 00:10:18,908 --> 00:10:20,261 Called "LaShawn and the Sam-Sations." 199 00:10:20,344 --> 00:10:23,553 And, ooh! How many times can you change a child's name? 200 00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:25,000 Because I have this system. 201 00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:26,901 And it's a little bit of an out-there idea, 202 00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:29,539 but I think if you really set up a system 203 00:10:29,623 --> 00:10:32,254 where if you do something good, you get a better name. 204 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,151 So if your name is Allister one day, 205 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,154 you do something good, your name could be Popeye. 206 00:10:37,047 --> 00:10:38,261 And that's what we here to say, 207 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:41,165 Is that we are the New Black Panther Party. 208 00:10:41,248 --> 00:10:43,623 What's the biggest problem facing the movement? 209 00:10:44,117 --> 00:10:46,370 Well, you know, we supposed to be in this era 210 00:10:46,453 --> 00:10:48,738 of so-called "post-racial harmony", 211 00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,874 with all people in America. 212 00:10:50,957 --> 00:10:54,015 But us blacks are being murdered all over the place, 213 00:10:54,098 --> 00:10:57,481 and we get the same treatment time and time again. 214 00:10:57,564 --> 00:10:59,483 We're not even second-class citizens. 215 00:10:59,566 --> 00:11:03,120 We third-class. Stand up, black America, 216 00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:05,157 and declare to white America 217 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,025 that we aren't gonna take this no more, okay? 218 00:11:08,108 --> 00:11:10,376 - Why come out now and say this? - You know what? 219 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:14,431 You had 400 years to get it right, America. 220 00:11:14,514 --> 00:11:16,467 But you don't know how to treat your people. 221 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,236 All people. It's time to stand up. 222 00:11:19,319 --> 00:11:23,175 It's time to take back. It's time for us to fight back. 223 00:11:23,523 --> 00:11:25,723 And we don't take your phony words anymore. 224 00:11:25,806 --> 00:11:28,766 We're not gonna do it. We want concrete results. 225 00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:31,255 You know, you... you hear what we're saying to you, 226 00:11:31,349 --> 00:11:33,517 "United Snakes of America"? 227 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,453 What are you supposed to do when the whole world is watching 228 00:11:36,536 --> 00:11:38,737 And no-one is saying anything? 229 00:11:39,029 --> 00:11:41,425 We will not be silent. 230 00:11:41,508 --> 00:11:44,230 Okay, you, sir. Anything you wanted to say? 231 00:11:45,445 --> 00:11:46,933 Oh, me? No, I'm good. 232 00:11:57,924 --> 00:11:59,633 Oh, damn! 233 00:12:01,828 --> 00:12:03,638 Check that [bleep] out. 234 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,254 - What is that? - Whoo! 235 00:12:10,337 --> 00:12:11,884 I didn't know they made 'em like that. 236 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:16,072 I don't even understand what I'm seeing. 237 00:12:16,156 --> 00:12:18,495 Mm. Whoo-whoo! 238 00:12:19,179 --> 00:12:20,980 I would love to see what's under there. 239 00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:24,486 I am really curious about that. 240 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,036 Yeah, dog, yeah. 241 00:12:27,545 --> 00:12:31,574 - I mean, I have no idea. - Well, you know, we, uh... 242 00:12:31,658 --> 00:12:34,798 We obviously have some idea, you know? 243 00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:37,607 I don't. 244 00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:41,912 Well, you know, it's, uh... you know, it's a coochie, baby. 245 00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:45,421 Yeah. Or something. 246 00:12:46,171 --> 00:12:48,906 Uh, no, no, no, man. 247 00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:51,995 It's... It's definitely her lady parts. (laughs) 248 00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:55,431 Or, maybe it's just more skin. 249 00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:59,151 Nope. It... it's a vagina. 250 00:12:59,315 --> 00:13:00,416 Yeah. 251 00:13:00,802 --> 00:13:04,261 Or, maybe it's a little face under there. 252 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:06,575 Uh, no. 253 00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:09,926 No, it's... it's definitely gonna be a vagina. 254 00:13:10,242 --> 00:13:11,397 Why? 255 00:13:11,849 --> 00:13:15,067 Be... because she's a girl, and girls have vaginas, man. 256 00:13:15,626 --> 00:13:18,166 What is that? 257 00:13:18,552 --> 00:13:20,039 What is a vagina? 258 00:13:20,412 --> 00:13:22,647 It's a woman's reproductive organ. 259 00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:25,052 Wha... are you being serious right now? 260 00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:33,905 Thank you. That is all I require. 261 00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:38,424 Oh! 262 00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:43,344 There's aliens! There's a alien down there. 263 00:13:48,823 --> 00:13:50,527 Something I've always enjoyed in African American culture 264 00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:51,943 - is the barbershop. - Oh, yeah. 265 00:13:52,027 --> 00:13:54,113 The barbershop is a very big part of our culture. 266 00:13:54,197 --> 00:13:55,882 I haven't been to one in quite some time. 267 00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,117 But, um... 268 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,718 - The black barbershop is... - Mm-hmm. 269 00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,720 That's the social cent... the core... 270 00:14:00,803 --> 00:14:03,506 Of a community, very often. Certainly for the men. 271 00:14:03,589 --> 00:14:05,074 - Yeah. - And what's so bad is that I wish 272 00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:07,427 just... I just wish other businesses could get in on the fun. 273 00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:11,569 Yeah. So we sympathize with, uh, businesses in the black community 274 00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:12,821 that aren't the barbershop. 275 00:14:12,904 --> 00:14:15,224 The barbershop is always the most enviable business, so... 276 00:14:15,307 --> 00:14:17,276 - Yes. Here we go. - Yes, we take you here. 277 00:14:24,894 --> 00:14:26,179 - Hey, Uncle Ted. - Ah! 278 00:14:26,262 --> 00:14:27,681 Oh, geez. Whoo! 279 00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:30,250 - Sorry, Uncle Ted, man. - Oh, Keith. 280 00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,651 - I got you, didn't I? - Yeah, you got me, man. 281 00:14:32,734 --> 00:14:34,487 - You got me pretty good. - Oh. 282 00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:35,822 So what's going on today? 283 00:14:35,905 --> 00:14:38,549 Oh, just the usual, young buck. 284 00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:40,949 Just another day at the laundromat. 285 00:14:41,032 --> 00:14:42,932 - Yeah. - Why, people come in, 286 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,379 they do their laundry, 287 00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:48,032 we chat it up about some of the topics of the day. 288 00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:52,694 That's just another day hanging at the 'mat. 289 00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:59,412 I wonder what's going on in the barbershop today? 290 00:14:59,635 --> 00:15:01,980 Sure looks like they're having fun over there. 291 00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:07,225 Forget all that, kid. 292 00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:09,929 Come on, we got our own assortment 293 00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:12,691 of colorful characters right here in the 'mat! 294 00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:13,910 Come on. 295 00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:16,579 Hey, there. You need any more quarters? 296 00:15:16,662 --> 00:15:17,683 Nope. 297 00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:23,520 Okay. Okay, hilarious. 298 00:15:23,603 --> 00:15:26,402 Oh! Hey there, Ms. Demetrius. 299 00:15:26,486 --> 00:15:28,050 You need some more quarters? 300 00:15:29,609 --> 00:15:31,828 Oh-ho, she didn't hear me. 301 00:15:31,911 --> 00:15:33,644 That's part of the problem, Uncle Ted. 302 00:15:34,247 --> 00:15:37,033 You know, all that noise up in here from the machines running, 303 00:15:37,116 --> 00:15:38,597 and it's kind of hot. 304 00:15:39,512 --> 00:15:43,035 Loud and hot? Sound like my old lady. 305 00:15:52,098 --> 00:15:53,783 Billy Dee Williams is in there now. 306 00:15:53,866 --> 00:15:55,518 He's Lando Calrissian. 307 00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:57,020 He runs Cloud City. 308 00:15:57,103 --> 00:15:58,888 Oh! 309 00:15:58,971 --> 00:16:01,394 - Yeah, baby! - All right! 310 00:16:02,644 --> 00:16:06,395 But, uh, damn it, Keith! What I tell ya? 311 00:16:06,479 --> 00:16:09,777 We got it going on right here at the 'mat, baby! 312 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,753 Uncle Ted, I gotta tell you something. 313 00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:18,193 I got my own washer and dryer months ago. 314 00:16:19,029 --> 00:16:20,480 I just keep hanging out here 315 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,173 'cause I didn't want you to feel bad. 316 00:16:23,571 --> 00:16:25,756 Oh, you didn't want me to feel bad. 317 00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:29,328 Got your own washer and dryer. All right. 318 00:16:30,236 --> 00:16:33,894 Oh, you're big-timing me now. Okay, I see how it is. 319 00:16:33,978 --> 00:16:35,992 Hey, well, your shirt ain't clean, 320 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,571 Your pants ain't clean. 321 00:16:39,245 --> 00:16:42,672 You can't get a good wash on one of them home washer-and-dryers. 322 00:16:42,755 --> 00:16:45,407 Uncle Ted. I'm... I'm going. 323 00:16:46,118 --> 00:16:48,110 Uh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 324 00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:50,405 Let's have some fun. Let's have some fun! 325 00:16:50,489 --> 00:16:52,630 We... you can get in one of the laundry carts 326 00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:54,043 and I can push you around! 327 00:16:54,126 --> 00:16:56,904 Nope. I'm out of here. 328 00:16:58,397 --> 00:17:00,923 No I... Wait... wait, wait, wait. 329 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,110 Hold on there, Keith. Keith! 330 00:17:04,804 --> 00:17:07,772 And if that don't work, then you do a little tap dance. 331 00:17:07,856 --> 00:17:10,547 And then you go, I'm your man. 332 00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,233 I'm your man! 333 00:17:14,069 --> 00:17:15,162 All right. 334 00:17:15,245 --> 00:17:17,000 Welcome to the barbershop, young man. 335 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,758 - You're Billy Dee Williams. - Yeah, yeah, how you doing? 336 00:17:19,841 --> 00:17:21,109 I'm good, thank you so much, man. 337 00:17:21,192 --> 00:17:22,210 All right, could you do me a favor? 338 00:17:22,293 --> 00:17:23,821 - Yeah. - Could you let go of my hand? 339 00:17:25,858 --> 00:17:29,811 Okay. Oh, thanks, man. 340 00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:31,899 Oh, how you doing, man? 341 00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:46,538 I have a friend... I have a friend that, literally, 342 00:17:46,622 --> 00:17:48,271 like, he'll go into a room and it's like... 343 00:17:48,354 --> 00:17:49,846 He... he's getting ready for an hour. 344 00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:51,730 And he comes out, he's got on a white t-shirt, 345 00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:53,665 jeans, and a hat. 346 00:17:54,368 --> 00:17:56,173 What the [bleep] were you doing for an hour? 347 00:17:56,256 --> 00:17:57,507 Oh, yeah? 348 00:17:58,072 --> 00:17:59,409 - It's... you know what I mean? - Yeah. 349 00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:01,178 It takes me, like, 15 minutes to get a suit on. 350 00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:02,884 - That's right. - He's just in there going... 351 00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:05,844 Some dudes... some brothers are vain. Some brothers are vain. 352 00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:08,185 They're all, "Oh, [bleep], man, some dust got on my shoes. 353 00:18:08,268 --> 00:18:10,353 "There are ruined! Oh, these are ruined. 354 00:18:10,436 --> 00:18:12,814 "Gotta go get some more sneakers right now." 355 00:18:13,908 --> 00:18:14,758 - So, yeah. - But that's what 356 00:18:14,841 --> 00:18:15,892 the scene is about... style. 357 00:18:15,975 --> 00:18:17,406 - It's about style, yeah. - Yeah. 358 00:18:19,518 --> 00:18:21,114 In what universe is The Family Circus 359 00:18:21,197 --> 00:18:23,339 better than Dilbert? For instance... Oh. 360 00:18:23,422 --> 00:18:25,184 Yo, what's up, man? How you... 361 00:18:25,919 --> 00:18:28,405 - been? - Oh, you know, cuz. 362 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,413 Keepin' it straight. 363 00:18:43,817 --> 00:18:46,336 - You know. - All right, cool. 364 00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:48,955 Well, I guess I'll check you later. 365 00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:50,498 All right, dog. 366 00:18:58,753 --> 00:19:00,587 What you should have seen was Rain People, 367 00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:03,033 with James Caan and Shirley Knight. 368 00:19:03,117 --> 00:19:03,875 Yo. 369 00:19:06,993 --> 00:19:08,453 Uh, what's up, man? 370 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,547 You got something to say? 371 00:19:15,952 --> 00:19:17,358 Yeah, man, um... 372 00:19:20,438 --> 00:19:21,424 How's Denise? 373 00:19:21,507 --> 00:19:24,304 Oh, yeah, Denise. She good, she good, she good. 374 00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:28,064 Anyway, guess I'll catch you on the flip. 375 00:19:28,147 --> 00:19:30,000 Yeah, dog, yeah. Ain't no thing. 376 00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:31,333 Come on, stick it. 377 00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:32,527 - I'm in there, dog. - Come on. 378 00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:33,904 No, I'm in there, dog. I'm in there. 379 00:19:33,987 --> 00:19:35,377 - Tuck it. - I'm in there. 380 00:19:35,461 --> 00:19:36,905 - Tuck it. - I'm tuckin' it in, brother. 381 00:19:36,995 --> 00:19:39,352 I'm in there, dog. I'm in there, dog. I'm in there, dog. 382 00:19:40,026 --> 00:19:41,438 You know. All right. 383 00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,530 Oh. 384 00:20:10,223 --> 00:20:12,309 Huh, anyway, you know, you gotta come real, 385 00:20:12,392 --> 00:20:14,842 come correct, when you coming at all, you know? 386 00:20:16,025 --> 00:20:17,514 That's basically how I roll. 387 00:20:17,597 --> 00:20:20,006 If you ain't got... 388 00:20:22,602 --> 00:20:25,761 Oh, my God. That's my [bleep]. 389 00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:31,127 Come here. Get this. 390 00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:32,696 - He's having problems. - He's having problems. 391 00:20:32,779 --> 00:20:34,698 - He is having problems. - We gotta get this brother... 392 00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:35,999 - This brother is weeping. - He's weeping. 393 00:20:36,082 --> 00:20:37,233 - Are you okay? - He's weeping. 394 00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:39,836 This mother[bleep] is... 395 00:20:41,888 --> 00:20:43,617 Come back to us! 396 00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:47,098 My man is... My man is crying. 397 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,668 - Oh. - Oh, my... 398 00:20:48,751 --> 00:20:50,208 Thank you guys so much for everything. 399 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,642 Thanks for coming out, everybody! 400 00:20:58,376 --> 00:21:01,145 I'm gonna do my one line here 401 00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,290 Oh, yeah. 402 00:21:03,374 --> 00:21:05,350 Sync & corrections by dwigt Resync BluRay by LeRalouf www.addicted.com 403 00:21:05,434 --> 00:21:08,004 Matthew McConaughey from Days and Confused is here. 404 00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:09,808 Right here. He's sitting right there. 405 00:21:10,473 --> 00:21:11,886 Keep rockin' that look! 406 00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:13,808 That guy's on acid right now. 407 00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:18,546 "I once saw that show there were two crows on stage." 408 00:21:18,596 --> 00:21:23,146 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30786

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