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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,157 --> 00:00:02,675 Struggle in da house 2 00:00:02,758 --> 00:00:05,911 Using words and rhymes to get through hard times 3 00:00:06,161 --> 00:00:07,879 Yeah Come on 4 00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:14,558 I came from the streets with nothing in my pockets 5 00:00:14,641 --> 00:00:17,149 No food, no boots, no power in the sockets 6 00:00:17,232 --> 00:00:19,853 Each battle I fight a role model and a teacher 7 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:23,271 Hip-hop my church Every rapper a preacher 8 00:00:24,202 --> 00:00:26,832 I preach from my ass, my fart is my sermount 9 00:00:26,915 --> 00:00:29,537 The church is your mouth, where I shout my Holy sperm in 10 00:00:29,620 --> 00:00:31,982 You can take your role models, roll 'em up my meat 11 00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:35,617 Bitches always on the menu when I go out to eat 12 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,194 But everywhere we go, we don't forget the struggles, son 13 00:00:45,277 --> 00:00:48,005 Black woman, two jobs, two kids, too tired to juggle them 14 00:00:48,171 --> 00:00:50,752 Juggle 'em, juggle 'em, jiggity, jiggity juggle 'em 15 00:00:50,835 --> 00:00:53,656 Yum, yum, yummy, Titty titties in my tummy, yum 16 00:00:58,939 --> 00:01:01,352 Titties in my mouth, I got titties in my mouth 17 00:01:01,435 --> 00:01:04,188 I got tig ol' bitties from a bunch of different cities 18 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,393 I got... 19 00:01:17,337 --> 00:01:21,108 Sync & correction by dwigt www.addic7ed.com 20 00:01:21,239 --> 00:01:22,940 Resync BluRay by LeRalouf 21 00:01:38,942 --> 00:01:42,026 "Titties in my mouth. I've got titties in my mouth. 22 00:01:43,498 --> 00:01:45,604 "I've got tig ol' bitties From a bunch of different cities." 23 00:01:45,687 --> 00:01:47,104 - Thank you. - All right, that's enough. 24 00:01:47,187 --> 00:01:48,484 That's sheer poetry. Sheer poetry. 25 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:49,834 - What's up guys? - Hey, you guys. 26 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:51,362 - I'm Jordan Peele. - I'm Keegan-Michael Key. 27 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,445 - This is Key and Peele. - Thank you. 28 00:01:58,779 --> 00:02:02,535 So, we are fans of action... What's you favorite action... 29 00:02:02,618 --> 00:02:05,098 - Who's your favorite action star? - My favorite action star is Tony Jaa. 30 00:02:05,181 --> 00:02:07,154 - Tony Jaa. - Yes. Yes. Yes. 31 00:02:07,237 --> 00:02:09,237 - You know this guy? - He's from Thailand, 32 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,126 and he's a dynamo, he's a firecracker. He's always like, "Yaa!" 33 00:02:12,772 --> 00:02:15,960 I love all the Asian and black people were, like, "Yeah, Tony Jaa." 34 00:02:17,707 --> 00:02:19,378 I like that you're bringing that muay Thai out. 35 00:02:19,461 --> 00:02:20,850 Oh, muay Thai, that's what he uses. 36 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,906 - That's my jam right there. - Do you like muay Thai? 37 00:02:22,989 --> 00:02:24,663 - Do you like muay Thai? - Bip. Bip. Bip. Bip. 38 00:02:24,746 --> 00:02:26,377 - No, I've been learning? - You're learning? 39 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:28,102 I've been practicing some of my techniques. 40 00:02:28,185 --> 00:02:31,115 Oh, have you been studying muay Thai from a muay Thai master? 41 00:02:34,634 --> 00:02:36,865 You've been studying muay Thai from a muay Thai master? 42 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,928 On TV, yes. On TV. They're on television. 43 00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:41,545 You can study them yourself. 44 00:02:42,218 --> 00:02:43,545 MMA. 45 00:02:45,628 --> 00:02:47,403 Are you studying... What is this? 46 00:02:47,728 --> 00:02:49,374 - Sorry? - Is that muay Thai chi? 47 00:02:49,457 --> 00:02:51,063 I mean, right there? What is...? 48 00:02:51,863 --> 00:02:54,415 But this is... this is good martial arts 49 00:02:54,498 --> 00:02:56,790 if you're in the slo-mo section of the film. 50 00:02:57,548 --> 00:03:00,717 Mmm-taka-taka-taka-taka. Tang-taka-taka-taka-taka. 51 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,744 Taka-taka-taka-taka taka-taka-taka-taka. 52 00:03:04,105 --> 00:03:06,185 I've still got him, I don't know what happened there. 53 00:03:06,915 --> 00:03:09,267 Okay, watch this, everybody. 54 00:03:42,302 --> 00:03:44,189 I was wondering when I would come in here 55 00:03:44,272 --> 00:03:46,466 to find you sitting in that chair. 56 00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:50,646 It wasn't easy tracking you down, Decker. 57 00:03:52,355 --> 00:03:53,961 Wasn't supposed to be. 58 00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:57,460 I know you've retired, but... 59 00:03:57,543 --> 00:03:59,875 That's all behind me now, General. 60 00:04:02,125 --> 00:04:05,051 I'm not the man you knew during the Cold War. 61 00:04:05,134 --> 00:04:06,750 I understand. 62 00:04:07,277 --> 00:04:10,295 We're now facing a threat unlike any we've ever faced before. 63 00:04:11,406 --> 00:04:14,279 - A man with your expertise... - I made a vow. 64 00:04:16,625 --> 00:04:18,860 Never to kill another human being. 65 00:04:21,997 --> 00:04:23,353 Sorry, General, 66 00:04:24,603 --> 00:04:26,660 gotta have to find someone else. 67 00:04:27,077 --> 00:04:28,401 Oh... 68 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,409 No, we hmm... we weren't thinking you'd do it. 69 00:04:33,909 --> 00:04:36,048 We were... just hoping 70 00:04:36,132 --> 00:04:37,939 you cold recommend someone for the job. 71 00:04:40,577 --> 00:04:42,436 I guess I could come out of retirement. 72 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:46,784 No. No need. Just a recommendation will do. 73 00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:48,056 All right. 74 00:04:49,035 --> 00:04:50,259 I'll do it. 75 00:04:50,343 --> 00:04:52,343 You know, you're just not what we're looking for. 76 00:04:52,454 --> 00:04:54,861 You sly son of a bitch. 77 00:04:55,518 --> 00:04:58,454 You always knew how to push my buttons. 78 00:04:59,452 --> 00:05:02,968 - I'm in. - Not you, Decker! 79 00:05:03,051 --> 00:05:04,564 I'm sharp as I ever was. 80 00:05:05,801 --> 00:05:08,829 Even faster too. Grab my hand. 81 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:09,859 Nope. 82 00:05:12,164 --> 00:05:14,040 Wait till I count to three first. 83 00:05:14,929 --> 00:05:15,834 One. 84 00:05:16,084 --> 00:05:16,965 Two. 85 00:05:17,048 --> 00:05:18,118 Three. 86 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,033 Okay. 87 00:05:20,415 --> 00:05:22,228 I want you to try and slap me in the face. 88 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:24,153 Unh! Wasn't ready for that. 89 00:05:26,663 --> 00:05:27,536 Try again. 90 00:05:27,823 --> 00:05:31,335 - Unh! 'kay, you know what? - You know what? 91 00:05:31,419 --> 00:05:32,759 Didn't have my adrenaline up. 92 00:05:32,842 --> 00:05:35,420 'Cause this is not an actual high-stakes situation. 93 00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:36,878 All right. 94 00:05:38,431 --> 00:05:39,924 Draw your weapon. 95 00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:42,420 And... disarmed. 96 00:05:48,087 --> 00:05:50,556 You're getting pretty quick. And... disarmed. Okay. 97 00:05:51,223 --> 00:05:52,969 I don't need to take your weapon. 98 00:05:55,330 --> 00:05:58,136 You know what? Shoot me. 99 00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:00,056 I am not going to shoot you. 100 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:03,045 - Wing me in the shoulder. - This is ridiculous! 101 00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:05,948 Try, General, see what happens. 102 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,569 Deflected... Ooww! 103 00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:15,154 - Okay. I made a mistake coming here. - Wing me in the other shoulder. 104 00:06:15,237 --> 00:06:17,543 - I'd rather not. - I insist. 105 00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:21,022 Deflected... Aaahh! 106 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,755 That was because my other arm was already injured. 107 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:27,175 - Okay. I'm leaving. - All right. 108 00:06:27,296 --> 00:06:29,861 - All or nothing. Gut shot. - No! 109 00:06:29,945 --> 00:06:31,439 Gut shot! Come on! 110 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,663 If you can shoot me in the gut, I'll concede. 111 00:06:33,746 --> 00:06:36,390 - Decker, you have two wounded arms. - Gut shot! Go! 112 00:06:37,579 --> 00:06:38,554 Got it. 113 00:06:41,158 --> 00:06:43,158 You... you caught the bullet? 114 00:06:44,632 --> 00:06:46,151 Oh, yeah. 115 00:06:46,268 --> 00:06:47,697 So, you're telling me that the bullet 116 00:06:48,249 --> 00:06:50,629 is in-between your hands right now? 117 00:06:51,018 --> 00:06:53,018 That's what I'm telling you... 118 00:06:59,494 --> 00:07:00,959 Is that all you got? 119 00:07:01,775 --> 00:07:04,444 Come on. Head shot. 120 00:07:06,591 --> 00:07:08,281 Head shot. Let's go. 121 00:07:08,741 --> 00:07:11,257 I'm ready. I wasn't... Wait one sec. though. 122 00:07:16,546 --> 00:07:19,560 Okay, I just want people to be straight with us and just admit... 123 00:07:19,643 --> 00:07:23,392 Who here has tormented a substitute teacher? 124 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,600 I don't understand why. 125 00:07:26,683 --> 00:07:29,388 I don't believe the people who are raising their hands, by the way. 126 00:07:29,471 --> 00:07:31,444 - Right. - They seem way too polite. 127 00:07:31,527 --> 00:07:34,483 I don't understand why. But why? I've never understood why. 128 00:07:34,566 --> 00:07:37,128 I always tried to be polite to the substitute teacher. 129 00:07:37,211 --> 00:07:40,155 Everybody had that kid in school that was, like, 130 00:07:40,507 --> 00:07:42,506 - a real... - a real rapscallion. 131 00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:45,876 - A rapscallion. A scallywag. - Yeah. A jackanape. 132 00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:47,284 - Yeah. - Mm-hm. 133 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,866 I was the kid that was just doodling in the corner. 134 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,728 "What's up?" You know, that was me. 135 00:07:52,319 --> 00:07:53,728 But I had... I know you had one. 136 00:07:53,811 --> 00:07:56,284 I had this kid who, if a substitute teacher came, 137 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:58,530 my man would be surfing on the desk. 138 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,593 No joke. My man would get up, talking about... 139 00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:04,903 Looking him in the eye. 140 00:08:04,987 --> 00:08:07,140 Joey. Get off... Joey. 141 00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:10,947 Joey, get off the desk. Joey. 142 00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,143 Joey, get off the desk. 143 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,730 I'm telling you now to get off the desk, Joey. 144 00:08:15,813 --> 00:08:18,728 Get off. Unbelievable. Don't do that. Don't do that. 145 00:08:18,812 --> 00:08:20,502 - Probably in jail now. Right. 146 00:08:22,597 --> 00:08:24,597 All right, listen up, y'all. 147 00:08:24,736 --> 00:08:27,125 I'm y'all's substitute teacher, Mr. Garvey. 148 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,597 I taught school for 20 years in the inner city, 149 00:08:31,403 --> 00:08:33,264 so don't even think about messing with me. 150 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:36,059 - Y'all feel me? - Mm-hmm. 151 00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:38,142 Okay. Let's take roll here. 152 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:40,908 Jay Quellin. 153 00:08:43,672 --> 00:08:44,789 Where's Jay Quellin at? 154 00:08:45,339 --> 00:08:47,006 No Jay Quellin here? 155 00:08:49,248 --> 00:08:50,025 Yeah. 156 00:08:50,109 --> 00:08:52,552 Uh, do you mean "Jacqueline"? 157 00:08:52,858 --> 00:08:55,110 Okay. So that's how it's gonna be. 158 00:08:55,599 --> 00:08:58,218 Y'all wanna play. Okay, then. 159 00:08:59,285 --> 00:09:01,145 I got my eyes on you, Jay Quellin. 160 00:09:05,219 --> 00:09:06,479 Balakay. 161 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,139 Where is Balakay at? 162 00:09:10,957 --> 00:09:12,675 There's no Balakay here today? 163 00:09:14,410 --> 00:09:16,905 - Yes, sir. - My name is Blake. 164 00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:20,335 Bl... Are you out of your goddamn mind? 165 00:09:21,368 --> 00:09:23,423 "Blake"! What? 166 00:09:23,656 --> 00:09:25,612 - Do you wanna go to war, Balakey? - No. 167 00:09:25,794 --> 00:09:27,539 - 'Cause we could go to war. - No. 168 00:09:27,684 --> 00:09:30,192 I'm for real. I'm for real. 169 00:09:31,047 --> 00:09:32,880 So you better check yourself. 170 00:09:35,337 --> 00:09:36,754 Dee-nice. 171 00:09:38,553 --> 00:09:40,074 Is there a Dee-Nice? 172 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:45,638 If one of y'all says some silly-ass name... 173 00:09:46,761 --> 00:09:49,632 This whole class is gonna feel my wrath. 174 00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:53,310 - Now, Dee-Nice. - Do you mean "Denise"? 175 00:09:56,686 --> 00:09:59,159 - You say your name right, right now. - Denise? 176 00:09:59,243 --> 00:10:00,301 - You say it right. - Denise. 177 00:10:00,385 --> 00:10:01,138 - Correctly. - Denise. 178 00:10:01,221 --> 00:10:01,832 - Right. - Denise. 179 00:10:01,915 --> 00:10:03,443 - Right. - Dee-Nice? 180 00:10:03,526 --> 00:10:04,991 That's better. Thank you. 181 00:10:05,346 --> 00:10:08,154 Now, A.A. Ron. 182 00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:10,358 Where are you? 183 00:10:10,672 --> 00:10:12,771 Where is A.A. Ron right now? 184 00:10:13,972 --> 00:10:15,219 No A. A. Ron, huh? 185 00:10:16,037 --> 00:10:19,476 Well, you better be sick, dead or mute, 186 00:10:19,596 --> 00:10:22,345 - A.A. Ron. - Here! Oh, man. 187 00:10:24,245 --> 00:10:26,171 Why didn't you answer me the first time I said it, huh? 188 00:10:26,254 --> 00:10:26,843 Huh? 189 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,067 You know, I'm just asking you. I said it, like, four times. 190 00:10:29,151 --> 00:10:33,069 So, why didn't you say it the first time I said, "A.A. Ron"? 191 00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:37,129 Because it's pronounced "Aaron". 192 00:10:37,212 --> 00:10:39,096 Son of a bitch! 193 00:10:41,036 --> 00:10:42,825 You done messed up, A.A. Ron! 194 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,564 Now take your ass on down to Oh-Shag-Henessy's office, 195 00:10:45,648 --> 00:10:47,813 right now, and tell him exactly what you did! 196 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,404 - Who? - Oh-Shag-Henessy! 197 00:10:52,889 --> 00:10:54,037 Principal O'Shaughnessy? 198 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,157 Get out of my goddamn classroom before I break my foot off in your ass! 199 00:10:58,308 --> 00:10:59,420 Insubordinate... 200 00:11:00,556 --> 00:11:01,730 and churlish. 201 00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:08,177 Tym-Oh-Thee. 202 00:11:09,111 --> 00:11:11,299 - Present. - Thank you. 203 00:11:13,184 --> 00:11:14,480 To the man of the hour. 204 00:11:15,105 --> 00:11:18,785 Guys... Best bachelor party ever! 205 00:11:20,459 --> 00:11:22,644 - Mm! - Mm! Oh, yeah! 206 00:11:22,727 --> 00:11:24,203 - Whoo! - Yeah! That's the stuff. 207 00:11:24,286 --> 00:11:27,000 - I can still do it. - All right, fellas! 208 00:11:27,867 --> 00:11:31,812 What do you say... we get a stripper? 209 00:11:32,113 --> 00:11:33,558 - Yeah! - All right! 210 00:11:35,057 --> 00:11:37,339 Trey, I told you man, no strippers. 211 00:11:37,422 --> 00:11:38,930 Aw, is this a bachelor party or isn't it? 212 00:11:39,013 --> 00:11:40,263 - Yeah! - That's right! 213 00:11:40,346 --> 00:11:43,300 I'm your best man, there's no way I'm gonna let you puss out 214 00:11:43,384 --> 00:11:44,840 on your own bachelor party. 215 00:11:44,924 --> 00:11:48,271 We're getting the strippers and we're gonna connect the dots. 216 00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:51,036 - Yes! - Connect the dots? What? 217 00:11:51,119 --> 00:11:54,123 Yeah... Tinkertoy it, man. 218 00:11:54,207 --> 00:11:55,723 We're all behind her 219 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:59,726 and then we all, bup-bup-bup-bup. We go to town! 220 00:11:59,828 --> 00:12:01,937 - Yeah! - We go to town! 221 00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:05,039 Wait, wait, wait, hold on. What's "bup-bup-bup-bup"? 222 00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:08,026 Dude. You know. You're upfront, then 223 00:12:08,526 --> 00:12:10,982 bup-bup-bup-bup! Game on! 224 00:12:12,584 --> 00:12:14,584 No. Hold up, hold up, hold up. No. 225 00:12:15,287 --> 00:12:18,372 - What's the "bup-bup-bup-bup"? - Yeah, yeah, what is that? 226 00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:19,620 Guys! 227 00:12:20,035 --> 00:12:24,005 This is Tommy's last night of freedom! 228 00:12:24,089 --> 00:12:26,749 - Come on! - What's "bup-bup-bup-bup", though? 229 00:12:28,271 --> 00:12:31,004 You know... Bup-bup-bup-bup. 230 00:12:31,409 --> 00:12:33,850 Okay, okay, okay, when you say "bup-bup-bup-bup", 231 00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:36,637 - are we... what are we... are we all... - Linked up! 232 00:12:36,732 --> 00:12:40,425 Yeah! Baby elephant walk. Whoo! 233 00:12:40,613 --> 00:12:42,698 Okay, okay, okay, um... 234 00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:45,042 Are you saying 235 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:48,458 that we would all be [bleep]ing each other? 236 00:12:49,099 --> 00:12:50,703 You don't understand what I'm sayi... 237 00:12:50,919 --> 00:12:53,990 Oh, dude! Okay. Look. Here it is, okay? 238 00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:56,832 - You're [bleep]ing the girl, right? - Right. 239 00:12:56,934 --> 00:12:57,595 Yeah. 240 00:12:57,726 --> 00:13:00,636 Then, we bup-bup-bup-bup! 241 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:01,896 That's it! Right there! Right there! 242 00:13:01,979 --> 00:13:03,451 Yeah, what the [bleep]? I'm not doing that. 243 00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:04,582 You guys! 244 00:13:04,883 --> 00:13:07,797 Tommy's about to walk the plank of marriage, all right? 245 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:08,940 This is our last chance. 246 00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:10,899 Last chance for what? I'm not gonna [bleep] a guy. 247 00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:14,883 No! Dude, we'd all be [bleep]ing the girl. 248 00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:17,053 - Oh, okay! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 249 00:13:18,206 --> 00:13:19,671 Together, bup-bup-bup, bup. 250 00:13:19,754 --> 00:13:20,933 - No! - No! 251 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:23,783 See, but right there, Trey. That's the weird part! 252 00:13:23,942 --> 00:13:26,843 - The "bup-bup-bup-bup". - Okay, I get it. I get it. 253 00:13:27,343 --> 00:13:29,733 You don't want to be disrespectful to women. I get that. 254 00:13:29,816 --> 00:13:31,927 - That's not really the issue. - Okay, forget the girl. 255 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:35,048 Armenian conveyer belt: just the groom and his groomsmen, bup-bup-bup-bup. 256 00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:36,344 - No! - No! 257 00:13:36,427 --> 00:13:40,160 You kept the part that noboby wants! The bup-bup-bup-bup! 258 00:13:40,243 --> 00:13:42,609 Yeah, I definitely don't want to have sex with any of you guys! 259 00:13:42,692 --> 00:13:45,980 - Yeah, you're killing my buzz. - Guys! What the [bleep], man! 260 00:13:46,064 --> 00:13:49,609 This is supposed to be Tommy's last big celebration. No judgment. 261 00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:53,649 Judgment is not what is keeping us from [bleep]ing each other! 262 00:13:53,837 --> 00:13:55,545 Jeez! Forget it, Trey! 263 00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:58,152 No! I'm saying, guys, if you listen to my words, 264 00:13:58,236 --> 00:14:01,735 Tommy's in here [bleep]ing the stripper. We're in the other room. 265 00:14:07,799 --> 00:14:08,937 - Bup-bup-bup-bup. - No! 266 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,653 No "bup-bup-bup-bup"! Nobody wants the "bup-bup-bup-bup"! 267 00:14:11,736 --> 00:14:14,621 Well, that's all right. No bup-bup-bup- bup, okay? No bup-bup-bup-bup. 268 00:14:14,704 --> 00:14:17,669 You're here [bleep]ing the stripper, the rest of us are just 269 00:14:17,752 --> 00:14:19,463 - jiggy-jiggy-jiggy-jiggy... - No! 270 00:14:19,546 --> 00:14:20,288 - Aah! No! - No! 271 00:14:20,371 --> 00:14:22,685 Oh, my God! You guys are so gay! 272 00:14:27,364 --> 00:14:31,799 How do you think you would fare if you went into the penal system? 273 00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:33,584 The penile system? 274 00:14:35,814 --> 00:14:37,538 I think if I went through the penile system, 275 00:14:37,622 --> 00:14:39,622 I think the penile system would go through me. 276 00:14:54,641 --> 00:14:57,970 Lewis Lawrence is beginning his life sentence. 277 00:15:01,705 --> 00:15:04,894 In order to survive, he must join a gang. 278 00:15:05,926 --> 00:15:08,285 (Lewis) Do you understand? I know how it work, right? 279 00:15:08,369 --> 00:15:10,881 When you're in prison, what you need is protection, right? 280 00:15:10,983 --> 00:15:13,363 And the way to do that is by getting into a gang. 281 00:15:20,265 --> 00:15:23,917 I was surprised to find out that there is a bald gang in prison. 282 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,086 They're gonna be my homies. Talking about some B.B.W.W. 283 00:15:27,188 --> 00:15:29,188 "Bald brothers, what-what?" 284 00:15:32,443 --> 00:15:35,931 What's up, homie? Nice haircut. 285 00:15:38,334 --> 00:15:40,133 Get the [bleep] outta here. 286 00:15:40,235 --> 00:15:43,254 I mean they haven't officially asked me to be in the gang yet, 287 00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:45,300 'cause you need to earn they respect first. 288 00:15:47,402 --> 00:15:48,247 Hey! 289 00:15:49,493 --> 00:15:53,354 You're in the wrong neighborhood, you black mother[bleep]er. 290 00:15:59,403 --> 00:16:00,500 Aah! 291 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:04,356 Step off my homies, mother[bleep]er, or I'll [bleep] you up! 292 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:10,091 What's up! What's up! You know what I'm talkin' about! 293 00:16:11,131 --> 00:16:13,985 Aah! Unh! Aah! 294 00:16:14,069 --> 00:16:16,731 So that was it right there, okay? That's what they call a "jump in." 295 00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:18,619 That's the initiation process. 296 00:16:18,702 --> 00:16:21,371 So, it's my understanding that I'm now a member 297 00:16:21,454 --> 00:16:23,773 of the Bald Brotherhood gang, okay? 298 00:16:24,999 --> 00:16:28,183 I mean, those mother[bleep]ers beat the [bleep] out of me. 299 00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:30,150 That's a euphemism you hear all the time. 300 00:16:30,268 --> 00:16:32,844 But you don't know if it's true, it can't be true. How is it possible? 301 00:16:32,927 --> 00:16:36,902 But that mother[bleep]er, bip! And diarrhea just went "Pssh"!, 302 00:16:37,118 --> 00:16:38,491 right out my ass! 303 00:16:38,991 --> 00:16:42,454 So I hope... like, I hope that's, like, lifetime dues right there. 304 00:16:42,537 --> 00:16:43,776 What the...? 305 00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:46,293 It's the happiest day of my life is what I'm saying. 306 00:16:46,793 --> 00:16:48,714 Despite the lack of encouragement, 307 00:16:49,025 --> 00:16:52,701 Lewis continues to try and ingratiate himself to the gang. 308 00:16:52,784 --> 00:16:54,784 What? This long-haired bitch? 309 00:16:57,585 --> 00:16:59,721 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about, hero! 310 00:16:59,804 --> 00:17:01,739 Trying to creep up on my bald brothers, bitch! 311 00:17:01,829 --> 00:17:03,829 I oughta kick you again. What? What? 312 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,780 Aah! Oh! Aah! 313 00:17:08,697 --> 00:17:11,887 Hey, you all right, man? You all right? Come on, get up, get up. 314 00:17:12,009 --> 00:17:13,599 We got you, son. We got you, son. 315 00:17:13,689 --> 00:17:16,757 What? Man, get your hands off me, you hair-having mother[bleep]er! 316 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,937 Aah! Aah! Man, get down there. Unh! Unh! 317 00:17:20,034 --> 00:17:22,575 - Aah! Aah! - Whoa! Unh! 318 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,312 I mean, I think 319 00:17:29,395 --> 00:17:32,396 I accidentally got hit by some of my bald brothers. 320 00:17:32,687 --> 00:17:34,147 Guards! 321 00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:39,164 That's right! Bald brotherhood forever, man! 322 00:17:39,527 --> 00:17:40,607 'Sup! 323 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,147 But you know, that's prison, man. 324 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,518 I mean, you don't never know what side it's coming from. 325 00:17:45,608 --> 00:17:48,863 Lewis has yet to make any alliances. 326 00:17:49,616 --> 00:17:53,292 Meanwhile, an unprecedented peace has been brokered 327 00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:56,077 between black and white prison gangs. 328 00:17:56,161 --> 00:17:59,031 The once unsurmountable racial divide 329 00:17:59,114 --> 00:18:01,608 now bridged by a mutual hatred... 330 00:18:03,178 --> 00:18:04,778 for Lewis. 331 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,893 Dude! 332 00:18:19,972 --> 00:18:21,621 Hey, you going to Ray's party? 333 00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:23,887 Yeah, I'm going. 334 00:18:23,983 --> 00:18:26,881 - You know Amy's gonna be there. - Yeah, I know. 335 00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:29,723 Things have been real good with her, man. Tonight could be the night. 336 00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:33,451 - Could be. - Dude, are you okay? 337 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:36,717 Not really, dude. 338 00:18:36,897 --> 00:18:39,771 What's wrong? You get the hottest girl at a party with no parents. 339 00:18:39,854 --> 00:18:42,230 You're definitely gonna hit that for sure tonight, man. 340 00:18:42,328 --> 00:18:45,387 - You're gonna lose that V. for good. - My penis is white. 341 00:18:47,973 --> 00:18:51,994 - Excuse me? - I have a white penis. 342 00:18:52,116 --> 00:18:53,828 What? But you're black. 343 00:18:54,587 --> 00:18:56,972 Nuh-uh. I'm bi-racial. 344 00:18:57,529 --> 00:18:59,722 All the white went straight to my penis. 345 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,979 That... what... what... you mean, like, the color? 346 00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:08,289 - Oh... - Yeah. 347 00:19:08,373 --> 00:19:10,525 But wait, dude... I mean... 348 00:19:11,346 --> 00:19:13,764 - how bad could it be? - It's bad. 349 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,943 - How bad? - It's like a Snickers. 350 00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:19,663 - Regular or fun size? - Which one do you get at Halloween? 351 00:19:21,478 --> 00:19:23,084 - Fun size. - That's the one. 352 00:19:23,168 --> 00:19:24,868 - [bleep] - I know. 353 00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:27,196 What am I gonna do? I mean, I... 354 00:19:28,389 --> 00:19:31,773 How am I gonna hit it with Amy with my little white penis. 355 00:19:31,857 --> 00:19:35,017 Everyone's gonna find out and I'm never gonna hear the end of it. 356 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:38,166 Dude, dude, dude. Amy's white. She's not gonna care. 357 00:19:39,337 --> 00:19:42,368 - Really? - Yeah. She's white. 358 00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:44,441 - Yeah. - Yeah. 359 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:48,175 I guess you're right. She's probably not even gonna know the difference. 360 00:19:48,258 --> 00:19:52,025 Nah, man. White girl, white penis. You're all good. 361 00:19:57,569 --> 00:20:00,158 Hey, there he is. How'd it go last night? 362 00:20:00,248 --> 00:20:02,457 - Don't wanna talk about it. - Well, what happened? 363 00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:04,319 Black vagina. 364 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,023 Happy? 365 00:20:13,901 --> 00:20:16,537 I just gotta get this off... My girl, right here, 366 00:20:16,621 --> 00:20:19,556 Your mouth was agape after "black vagina". 367 00:20:19,639 --> 00:20:21,358 She was just like... 368 00:20:24,561 --> 00:20:28,771 It's just, like... I've only seen... In my whole life, I've only seen 369 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,861 Macaulay Culkin do that. In my whole life. 370 00:20:31,361 --> 00:20:33,819 Serious, she was, like, it was crazy. 371 00:20:35,014 --> 00:20:37,065 - All right, let's get outta here. - Let's get outta here. 372 00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:39,923 You and I go to the bar, couple of friends. And then, maybe... 373 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,733 - Bup-bup. - Let's just bup-bup-bup-bup. 374 00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:42,542 Yeah. 375 00:20:42,635 --> 00:20:44,635 Good night, everybody. 376 00:20:57,335 --> 00:20:59,776 I'm gonna do my one line here 377 00:21:00,118 --> 00:21:01,734 Oh, yeah. 378 00:21:04,068 --> 00:21:05,474 You know this guy in commercials 379 00:21:05,623 --> 00:21:07,310 with the white family on the roadtrip 380 00:21:07,394 --> 00:21:09,503 and they're singing Crazy Train by Ozzy Osb ? 381 00:21:09,587 --> 00:21:11,161 And there's just that one black kid... 382 00:21:11,248 --> 00:21:12,208 What's he doing there? 383 00:21:12,990 --> 00:21:15,036 I'll tell you what: you know, somewhere, 384 00:21:15,162 --> 00:21:17,466 there's a black mom and dad talking 'bout 385 00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:19,333 - Where is Tyrone? - Where he at? 386 00:21:19,383 --> 00:21:23,933 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29864

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