Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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♪ [The Andrews Sisters'"Any Bonds Today"]
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♪ ♪
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THE ANDREWS SISTERS:♪ Any bonds today ♪
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♪ The bonds of freedom,that's what I'm selling ♪
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♪ Any bonds today ♪
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♪ Scrape up the most you can ♪
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♪ Here comes the freedom man ♪
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♪ Asking you to buy a shareof freedom today ♪
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♪ Any stamps today ♪
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[cheers and applause]
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♪ We'll be blessedif we all invest ♪
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♪ In the U.S.A. ♪
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♪ Here comes the freedom man ♪
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♪ Can't make tomorrow's plan ♪
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♪ Not unless you buy a shareof freedom today ♪
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[cheers and applause]
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♪ ♪
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[cheers and applause]
MAN: Whoo!
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[indistinct chatter]
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WOMAN: ♪ The tall manwith the high hat ♪
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♪ And the whiskerson his chin ♪
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♪ Will soon be knockingat your door ♪
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[horn honking]
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Who's Major Major?
26
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Well, we need you for
the group leaders meeting.
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We're allocating
the Requisitions Budget
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for next quarter.
Let's go.
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Uh, I--I'm sorry,
and my part in that is?
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All members of Senior Command
are automatically part
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00:01:19,449 --> 00:01:21,569
of the Group Leaders'
Allocation and Requisition
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Procedural Advisory Board,
GLARPAB.
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GLARPAB?
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For God's sakes,
we're late for the meeting.
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Oh, with all due respect,
sir, I'm a sergeant.
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You're a sergeant?
Yes, sir.
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I'm only a sergeant.
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But you're Major Major.
Yes, sir.
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That's my name, sir.
Uh...[laughs]
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I've been through this
with the fellas, sir.
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Uh, it's my birth name.
It's a funny story.
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Um, but now may not
be the time.
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So, yes, in short,
I'm Sergeant Major Major.
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Major Major is my name.
Sergeant is my rank.
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He's already on the calendar
sheets right up to September.
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List--
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Good Christ, that means
that he's also in the--
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Yes, sir.
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He's already down
for Wednesday's
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subcommittee briefings, yes.
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Sergeant.
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Major--Sergeant--whatever
your goddamn name is,
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you're not making a whiff
of sense to me.
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Sir, uh, like
I told the fellas,
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well, uh, my father was
something of a practical joker.
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He named me Major Major.
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First name Major,
middle name Major,
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behind my mother's back,
uh, on the birth certificate.
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Uh, and my surname's Major,
too, as you already know.
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Well, that is a hell
of a practical joke,
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isn't it, son?
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He was a piece of work, sir.
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What are we gonna do?
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We can't have a goddamn
sergeant in GLARPAB.
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That's correct, sir.
It's for Senior Command only.
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Unless, sir,
you promote him.
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Sergeant Major,
step forward.
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Sergeant Major,
congratulations.
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00:02:56,988 --> 00:02:59,148
I'm herby promoting
you to a major.
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Congratulations.
Get in.
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MAJOR: But, no, sir--sir, I--
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CATHCART: You're a good man.
You've earned it.
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You've worked hard.
Yes, sir.
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Um, d-does that mean, uh--
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what--will my duties
be any different?
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00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,760
Will his duties be any
different, Colonel Korn?
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Of course, sir.
He's a major, sir.
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Of course there are.
You're a major.
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We don't just hand out
promotions willy-nilly.
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You'll act
like a major,
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you'll perform the duties
of a major, God damn it.
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Yes, sir.
And--and--and those are?
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Major Major, congratulations.
You're a major.
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Give him the goddamn thing.
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These are the minutes
from last Allocation
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and Requisitions meeting
and the agenda for today.
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Uh...
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[car engine revving]
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Don't just stand there!
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Get in the goddamn jeep.
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♪ [Johnny Hodges' "ThingsAin't What They Used To Be"]
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Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
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♪ ♪
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Hey, fellas!
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♪ ♪
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Okay.
These go inside.
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You carry two at a time.
Like this.
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Carry, carry.
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Rapido, rapido!
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Good lads.
Bueno, bueno.
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What's going on?
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Oh, you like watermelons?
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What is this?
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They didn't tell you?
Tell me what?
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Oh, I am so sorry about that.
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I'm the Mess Officer now.
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[chuckles]
What are you talking about?
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Uh, I am
the Mess Officer now.
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And, uh, you're not.
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But this is what I do.
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I know. I tried
to tell them that myself.
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It's ridiculous.
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What the hell do I know
about running a kitchen?
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No, no.
Those go in the pantry.
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♪ ♪
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At 0930, sir, Major Prendergast
from the Car Relative
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Operations Southern
Division Committee
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will be here to speak to you
about the combined groups'
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requisition outreach.
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At 1000, that'll be
Colonel Westridge.
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Okay, 1100,
a Milo Minderbinder
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has asked to see you.
He's the Mess Officer.
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He wants to talk to you
about an unusual new variety
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of truffles, sir.
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Apparently they're worth
a lot of money.
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Okay.
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00:05:44,837 --> 00:05:47,038
What would you say
if I told you I don't want
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to see those people?
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Which people in particular,
sir?
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All of them.
Any of them.
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Well, sir, my job
is to schedule your day
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as you request.
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Okay, uh, from now on,
I would much prefer if no one
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came in to see me
while I'm here.
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00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,698
Yes, sir.
Does that include me, sir?
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Yes, that includes you,
sergeant.
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Of course, sir.
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That's no one ever.
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I see, sir.
Very good, sir.
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Will that be all, sir?
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Yes.
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[laughing]
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Uh, yes, yes.
That will be all.
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[chuckles]
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What shall I say to the people
who do come to see you
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while you're here?
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Tell them, uh--tell them I'm in
and ask them to wait.
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Yes, sir.
For how long?
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Until I've left.
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W-what shall I do
with them then, sir?
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Uh, you know what?
I don't care.
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00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,571
May I send them in
to see you after you've left?
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Yes. Yes, you may.
You may indeed.
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But you won't be here then,
will you?
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Yes, that's correct.
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Well, sir, just to clarify,
when should I come here
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to find out if there's anything
you want me to do for you?
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When I'm not here.
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Yes, and what
should I do?
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Uh, whatever I tell you to.
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But you won't be here
to tell me.
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No.
Then what should I do?
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Whatever has to be done.
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Cross that bridge
when we come to it.
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Yes, sir.
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Good.
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00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:05,078
Well, dismissed, then.
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[door clicks shut]
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CHAPLAIN: The Lordis my shepherd.
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I shall not want.
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He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures.
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He leadeth me
beside still waters.
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He restoreth my soul.
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He leadeth me
in paths of righteousness
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for his name's sake.
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Yea, though I walk
through the valley
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of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil.
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Look, enough with all
the death stuff, huh?
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What do you say we send
the boys out feeling good?
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Don't you have something
a little bit more, I dunno,
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goddamn sunnier?
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Sunnier.
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May the road rise to meet you.
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00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:02,855
May the windbe always at your back,
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00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:06,218
the sun shine warmupon your face,
187
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:09,141
the rains fall softupon your fields.
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00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:10,663
And until we meet again,
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may God hold youin the palm of his hand.
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[loud booming]
191
00:08:14,388 --> 00:08:17,870
MAN: Closing in on target.30 seconds to run.
192
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,512
[plane engines rumbling]
193
00:08:19,514 --> 00:08:21,914
Crew, you still fucking
alive back there?
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00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:25,598
[dramatic music]
195
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,600
MAN: Yossarian,are you on a steady heading?
196
00:08:27,602 --> 00:08:28,681
We're approaching.
197
00:08:28,683 --> 00:08:29,802
Steady.
198
00:08:29,804 --> 00:08:32,285
♪ ♪
199
00:08:32,287 --> 00:08:33,486
[motors running]
200
00:08:33,488 --> 00:08:40,453
♪ ♪
201
00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:42,535
Bombs away.
202
00:08:42,537 --> 00:08:45,178
Okay, over to you, McWatt.
get us out of here.
203
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:49,822
♪ ♪
204
00:08:49,824 --> 00:08:52,825
[booming]
205
00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:59,834
♪ ♪
206
00:09:09,284 --> 00:09:11,564
[tires squealing]
207
00:09:11,566 --> 00:09:17,570
♪ ♪
208
00:09:17,572 --> 00:09:18,972
[bell dings]
209
00:09:18,974 --> 00:09:20,774
CATHCART: We have pounded
the bastards into submission
210
00:09:20,776 --> 00:09:22,696
and we have taken Rome.
211
00:09:22,698 --> 00:09:24,978
Congratulations, gentlemen.
212
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:28,261
St. Lawrence Basilica, rubble.
213
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,384
This one, good job.
214
00:09:31,386 --> 00:09:35,829
This, bravo.
Bravo, gentlemen.
215
00:09:35,831 --> 00:09:37,951
What is this?
216
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,073
What the hell is this?
217
00:09:40,075 --> 00:09:42,357
What in the goddamn hell
is this?
218
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,361
That looks like a goddamn
tourist postcard!
219
00:09:48,363 --> 00:09:50,406
Hands up, bombardiers.
220
00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:55,128
Well, there you have it.
221
00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,531
A group of idiots
trying to singlehandedly
222
00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:59,573
lose this fucking war for us.
223
00:09:59,575 --> 00:10:01,815
Next time, why don't we
just drop leaflets?
224
00:10:01,817 --> 00:10:03,297
Guten tag, my German friends.
225
00:10:03,299 --> 00:10:06,780
You just have a fine
old fucking day, why don't you?
226
00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:08,342
What are we trying to be?
227
00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:11,064
What have I told you
that we are trying to be?
228
00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:13,507
Comprehensive.
Blanket coverage.
229
00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:16,430
Flush the enemy out.
How many times have I told you?
230
00:10:16,432 --> 00:10:17,551
How many times--
231
00:10:17,553 --> 00:10:19,555
That's the Vatican, sir.
232
00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:27,641
All right, then.
That's Vatican City.
233
00:10:27,643 --> 00:10:30,324
And as we all know, that is
neutral territory, so good job.
234
00:10:30,326 --> 00:10:32,726
That is precision bombing,
gentlemen.
235
00:10:32,728 --> 00:10:35,249
You gotta respect
that neutral territory.
236
00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:37,253
Terrific job.
237
00:10:38,094 --> 00:10:40,096
Gotta love those Catholics,
huh?
238
00:10:41,818 --> 00:10:43,820
And the Jews.
239
00:10:45,261 --> 00:10:47,381
Major de Coverley.
240
00:10:47,383 --> 00:10:50,344
Major de Coverley will be
heading to Rome to spearhead
241
00:10:50,346 --> 00:10:53,067
his Advance Reconnaissance
Residential Plan
242
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,711
and, as usual, securing
accommodations for the officers
243
00:10:56,713 --> 00:10:59,674
in the performing
of their administrative duties
244
00:10:59,676 --> 00:11:02,436
as well as their weekend leave,
of course.
245
00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:05,800
Major de Coverley, we look
forward, as always, to your...
246
00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:07,682
splendid accommodations.
247
00:11:07,684 --> 00:11:10,444
That's if I can find any
still standing in there.
248
00:11:10,446 --> 00:11:14,529
[laughter]
249
00:11:14,531 --> 00:11:16,533
I'm sure you will.
250
00:11:22,138 --> 00:11:24,140
Gosh, I'm proud of you,
gentlemen.
251
00:11:25,982 --> 00:11:28,705
I'm very proud indeed.
252
00:11:30,827 --> 00:11:34,469
So what do you say
we speed this thing up, hmm?
253
00:11:34,471 --> 00:11:36,951
Are you with me?
All right, then.
254
00:11:36,953 --> 00:11:38,753
Let's get this thing
over and done with.
255
00:11:38,755 --> 00:11:41,436
Let's put the hurt on Jerry.
Let's pitch in.
256
00:11:41,438 --> 00:11:43,398
Let's raise the mission count
to 35.
257
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,481
35 it is, gentlemen.
We're gonna win this thing.
258
00:11:46,483 --> 00:11:48,323
We're gonna winthis fucking thing.
259
00:11:48,325 --> 00:11:50,245
35 it is.[bell dings]
260
00:11:50,247 --> 00:11:53,048
[quirky music]
261
00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:54,609
Can't go in there, sir.
Yes, I can.
262
00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,451
He's my point guard.
263
00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:57,892
He's raising
the missions again.
264
00:11:57,894 --> 00:12:00,095
He's raising the goddamn
missions again.
265
00:12:00,097 --> 00:12:01,536
He's awfully keen.
266
00:12:01,538 --> 00:12:04,059
No, he's not keen.
He's crazy!
267
00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:06,181
I-I have no power.
Yes, you do.
268
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:08,143
You have the power
to stand men down.
269
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,305
On what basis?
Find a basis.
270
00:12:10,307 --> 00:12:12,467
Good God, there are basises
everywhere.
271
00:12:12,469 --> 00:12:14,269
Yossarian, I don't even
want to be here.
272
00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:15,510
I'm two missions away.
273
00:12:15,512 --> 00:12:17,632
And, bang, 35, just like that.
274
00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:19,514
And just like that,
I'm 7 away.
275
00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:20,876
That's terrible.
276
00:12:20,878 --> 00:12:23,879
Yossarian,
that's simply terrible.
277
00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:25,400
I'm afraid.
278
00:12:25,402 --> 00:12:27,322
That--that's nothing
to be ashamed of.
279
00:12:27,324 --> 00:12:29,687
I'm not ashamed.
I'm afraid.
280
00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,128
So what are we gonna do?
281
00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,489
I don't know.
282
00:12:34,491 --> 00:12:35,971
I-I don't even know
what powers I have.
283
00:12:35,973 --> 00:12:36,932
Well, somebody must know.
284
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:38,734
It must be written down
somewhere.
285
00:12:38,736 --> 00:12:40,738
Yeah?
286
00:12:41,498 --> 00:12:43,018
Probably in here somewhere.
287
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:44,299
What the hell
is that?
288
00:12:44,301 --> 00:12:48,584
It's the Group Leaders
Operations Manual.
289
00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:50,588
Perhaps I should read it.
290
00:12:51,429 --> 00:12:53,711
Jesus Christ. Okay.
291
00:12:55,673 --> 00:12:57,072
You read this.
292
00:12:57,074 --> 00:12:58,834
You figure out
what your powers are.
293
00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:01,116
And you come find me when you
know how they can be used
294
00:13:01,118 --> 00:13:02,798
to help me, hmm?
295
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,680
Mm-hmm.
296
00:13:04,682 --> 00:13:06,684
I'll be in the hospital.
297
00:13:10,688 --> 00:13:12,368
Thank you, Major.
298
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:14,530
I mean...thank you, sir.
299
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,533
[quirky music]
300
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:24,582
♪ ♪
301
00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:33,309
Hello. How are you?
302
00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:35,391
♪ ♪
303
00:13:35,393 --> 00:13:37,473
Hi. Hi.
304
00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:39,996
How are you?
305
00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:41,757
Hello.
306
00:13:41,759 --> 00:13:46,682
♪ ♪
307
00:13:46,684 --> 00:13:49,365
What's going on here?
308
00:13:49,367 --> 00:13:51,327
I just need
a few days, maximum.
309
00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:54,290
A few days for what?
For my situation.
310
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:55,932
My situation's complicated.
311
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:57,814
I have a major
working on it right now.
312
00:13:57,816 --> 00:14:00,376
He's having to sort through
some very technical details.
313
00:14:00,378 --> 00:14:02,699
Documents. Debts.
314
00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:04,380
What's that got to do
with you being in here?
315
00:14:04,382 --> 00:14:06,382
Well, if it helps
your situation at all,
316
00:14:06,384 --> 00:14:08,144
I really am feeling
a little unwell.
317
00:14:08,146 --> 00:14:09,505
My situation?
318
00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:11,628
Look, I'll be quiet
as a mouse.
319
00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:13,429
If you need a bed,
I'm out of here in two minutes
320
00:14:13,431 --> 00:14:15,433
and you'll barely even
know that I'm here.
321
00:14:17,796 --> 00:14:19,798
Please?
322
00:14:21,119 --> 00:14:24,160
♪ [Tommy Dorsey's"Then I'll Be Happy"]
323
00:14:24,162 --> 00:14:31,169
♪ ♪
324
00:14:43,222 --> 00:14:46,863
TEXAN: Remember the Alamo?
You're goddamn right I do.
325
00:14:46,865 --> 00:14:48,785
We didn't take no handouts.
326
00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,747
We took Texas by hook
or by crook
327
00:14:50,749 --> 00:14:52,629
one county at a time.
328
00:14:52,631 --> 00:14:54,711
That's my grandpappy
I'm talking about there, boy.
329
00:14:54,713 --> 00:14:57,434
His grandpappy 'fore him.
330
00:14:57,436 --> 00:15:00,357
Soil Conservation Society
thinks they can tell us
331
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:02,039
how to farm our own land.
332
00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:04,081
Well, we've been doing that
for 120 years,
333
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:05,682
thank you very much.
334
00:15:05,684 --> 00:15:08,685
You're very welcome indeed,
sir.
335
00:15:08,687 --> 00:15:12,089
I grew up on a 900-acre
spread out near Sonora.
336
00:15:12,091 --> 00:15:14,932
It's all horizon
out there, boy.
337
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:17,174
Horizon, every direction.
338
00:15:17,176 --> 00:15:18,936
[chuckles]
339
00:15:18,938 --> 00:15:21,618
This one time, me and my pappy,
we was leading 1,000 head
340
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,101
through a dry gulch,
and we heard this noise.
341
00:15:24,103 --> 00:15:26,543
What on Earth could that be?
342
00:15:26,545 --> 00:15:29,186
Sounds a little like thunder.
343
00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:31,068
Only it keeps rumbling.
344
00:15:31,070 --> 00:15:32,710
And it ain't no thunder.
345
00:15:32,712 --> 00:15:35,512
Turns out it'd been raining
up near Christoval.
346
00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:39,837
Whoo-hoo, them gulches
ain't seen water in 100 years.
347
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,600
And I'm yelling,
"Pappy, you hearing this?"
348
00:15:42,602 --> 00:15:46,003
Suddenly, there's a longhorn
about 100 yards up.
349
00:15:46,005 --> 00:15:48,405
He's met with a wall of water.
350
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:50,768
[mimics water rushing]
You could feel it hit him.
351
00:15:50,770 --> 00:15:53,330
Turned him flankside
like a linebacker.
352
00:15:53,332 --> 00:15:56,333
And the wave is acting like
a cow catcher on the front
353
00:15:56,335 --> 00:15:58,976
of a train just collecting
all them steers.
354
00:15:58,978 --> 00:16:01,579
[mimics water rushing]
355
00:16:01,581 --> 00:16:02,820
And it's coming for us.
356
00:16:02,822 --> 00:16:04,622
Just a whole tumble fuck of--
357
00:16:04,624 --> 00:16:07,625
♪ [Il Volo's "O Sole Mio"]
358
00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:14,674
♪ ♪
359
00:16:24,444 --> 00:16:28,406
MAN: ♪ Che bella cosa ♪
360
00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:33,531
♪ Na jurnata 'e sole ♪
361
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:38,456
♪ N'aria serena doppo ♪
362
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:42,780
♪ Na tempesta ♪
363
00:16:42,782 --> 00:16:46,945
♪ Pe' ll'aria fresca ♪
364
00:16:46,947 --> 00:16:52,390
♪ Pare gia' na festa ♪
365
00:16:52,392 --> 00:16:55,073
♪ Che bella cosa ♪
366
00:16:55,075 --> 00:17:02,122
♪ Na jurnata 'e sole ♪
367
00:17:07,848 --> 00:17:09,648
Buongiorno.Buongiorno.
368
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:13,612
Un caffè, per favore, e un...
glass of water.
369
00:17:13,614 --> 00:17:14,733
Si, signore.
370
00:17:14,735 --> 00:17:17,255
Uh, the, um--
the building--the, uh--
371
00:17:17,257 --> 00:17:18,456
What do you call it?
Uh...
372
00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:19,858
edificio.
373
00:17:19,860 --> 00:17:23,822
Who-- qui--
owns the building?
374
00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:25,504
The--
Scusi?
375
00:17:25,506 --> 00:17:29,428
Uh, the proprietario
of the edificio.
376
00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:31,432
Un secondo.Giuseppe.
377
00:17:33,394 --> 00:17:35,313
[speaking Italian]
378
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,195
Proprietario.
That's it, that's it.
379
00:17:37,197 --> 00:17:39,237
[speaking Italian]
380
00:17:39,239 --> 00:17:40,719
May I help you, sir?
381
00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:42,841
Ah. English.
382
00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:44,763
I want to know who owns
that building 'cause I need
383
00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:47,005
to requisition it on behalf
of the fighting men
384
00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:49,009
of the United States
of America.
385
00:17:54,054 --> 00:17:56,335
TEXAN: People of means,decent folk,
386
00:17:56,337 --> 00:18:00,179
they deserve more votes than
drifters and whores--criminals.
387
00:18:00,181 --> 00:18:03,062
Degenerates, atheists.
They're indecent folk.
388
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,983
You know,
people without means.
389
00:18:04,985 --> 00:18:06,705
You know what I'm saying?
390
00:18:06,707 --> 00:18:08,707
Way I see it, there's only two
types of people in this world.
391
00:18:08,709 --> 00:18:10,909
People of means
and people without means.
392
00:18:10,911 --> 00:18:12,791
You gotta get me
a private room.
393
00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:14,353
I'm losing my mind.
394
00:18:14,355 --> 00:18:17,356
This has become
a mental health issue now.
395
00:18:17,358 --> 00:18:18,637
What about that oath
that you take
396
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,239
about not doing me any harm?
397
00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:22,201
The Hippocratic oath?
That's the one.
398
00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,402
That's just for doctors.
399
00:18:23,404 --> 00:18:25,204
Oh, come on.
What do you say?
400
00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:26,846
A little peace and quiet
would be
401
00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:28,607
tremendously beneficial to me.
402
00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:30,089
Don't push it.
403
00:18:30,091 --> 00:18:31,731
Lift your tongue.
404
00:18:31,733 --> 00:18:33,532
TEXAN: One man,
one vote's poppycock.
405
00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:35,895
But one man ain't always equal
to one other man.
406
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,056
That's just the way it is.
407
00:18:37,058 --> 00:18:38,497
That's the law of nature, man.
408
00:18:38,499 --> 00:18:41,620
Some folks, it's just--
it's claws and disembowelment
409
00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:42,782
from cradle to gra--
410
00:18:42,784 --> 00:18:44,583
[plane engines rumbling]
411
00:18:44,585 --> 00:18:46,588
[tires squealing]
412
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,393
Now, with one new runway--
this one--
413
00:18:54,395 --> 00:18:56,235
you increase your overall
flight capacity
414
00:18:56,237 --> 00:18:57,597
to 162 per day.
415
00:18:57,599 --> 00:18:58,998
Additional?
Correct, sir.
416
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,800
Now, a second runway,
engineering-wise,
417
00:19:00,802 --> 00:19:01,881
it's a bigger job.
418
00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:04,243
We have to extend out here
past the spit.
419
00:19:04,245 --> 00:19:06,045
But if we do that, you're
gonna be able to siphon off
420
00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:09,208
some of the heavier cargo
flights from runway one
421
00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:13,613
and that'll take you to 420
individual flights per week.
422
00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:15,455
420?
423
00:19:15,457 --> 00:19:17,817
No one on the other bases
come close to that.
424
00:19:17,819 --> 00:19:19,821
I don't think so, sir, no.
425
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,663
This is a three-month
flow chart analyzing the cost
426
00:19:23,665 --> 00:19:24,904
of the one runway
option versus--
427
00:19:24,906 --> 00:19:26,546
Oh, forget the one runway
option, Korn.
428
00:19:26,548 --> 00:19:27,587
Yes.
Think big.
429
00:19:27,589 --> 00:19:28,828
I thought so.
430
00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:30,069
For God's sakes,
if I had a nickel for every
431
00:19:30,071 --> 00:19:32,073
small thought of yours,
I'd be the richest--
432
00:19:33,835 --> 00:19:37,039
What on God's green Earth
is that?
433
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,721
MILO: It's only me, sir.
434
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,203
CATHCART: Who in the hellare you?
435
00:19:43,205 --> 00:19:44,644
I'm Milo Minderbinder, sir.
436
00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:46,606
I'm the new Mess Officer.
You may have heard of me.
437
00:19:46,608 --> 00:19:48,888
Do you realize these men
have orders to shoot to kill?
438
00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:50,530
Uh, we come...
439
00:19:50,532 --> 00:19:52,692
bearing tomatoes, sir.
440
00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:54,696
You're gonna have to try this.
441
00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:05,347
Wait, wait.
442
00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:10,831
This is olive oil, sir.
443
00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:13,153
The Italians use it
for everything.
444
00:20:13,155 --> 00:20:15,157
[cork pops]
445
00:20:29,652 --> 00:20:31,654
My God.
You get it?
446
00:20:33,576 --> 00:20:35,576
Korn, try one of these.
447
00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:37,580
[groans]
448
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:40,180
Good God.
449
00:20:40,182 --> 00:20:41,902
♪ [Johnny Hodges' "ThingsAin't What They Used To Be"]
450
00:20:41,904 --> 00:20:44,505
They're selling for $3
a bale in London!
451
00:20:44,507 --> 00:20:47,788
That's a 550% markup!
452
00:20:47,790 --> 00:20:51,191
550? That's
an interesting number.
453
00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:54,074
You're saying that I'm buying
tomatoes off of you
454
00:20:54,076 --> 00:20:55,236
in this scenario?
455
00:20:55,238 --> 00:20:56,797
Well, what I'm actually
saying, sir,
456
00:20:56,799 --> 00:20:59,119
is that for you this time,
it's actually
457
00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:03,124
an infinity percent markup
because--because I'd like you
458
00:21:03,126 --> 00:21:06,327
to have these tomatoes, sir,
to do with as you may!
459
00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:08,008
Well, that's very
generous of you,
460
00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:09,370
but I couldn't possibly
take all these tomato--
461
00:21:09,372 --> 00:21:11,172
And then, of course, in
the normal course of business,
462
00:21:11,174 --> 00:21:12,813
I could offer you
future shipments
463
00:21:12,815 --> 00:21:15,376
at very attractive rates,
almost at my cost, sir.
464
00:21:15,378 --> 00:21:17,498
So you'd be dropping
from infinity percent
465
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:22,143
back to 500, 300, thereabouts,
should you wish to participate.
466
00:21:22,145 --> 00:21:24,185
Well, Milo--participate?
467
00:21:24,187 --> 00:21:26,027
Participate.
468
00:21:26,029 --> 00:21:28,349
Well, Milo, commerce
isn't exactly my bag.
469
00:21:28,351 --> 00:21:30,111
I've got a base to ru--
Oh, you'd be a natural, sir.
470
00:21:30,113 --> 00:21:33,034
I got a good eye
for these things.
471
00:21:33,036 --> 00:21:36,798
I am planning on building
a couple runways out there,
472
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,000
increase flight capacity,
all that jazz, but I'm not--
473
00:21:39,002 --> 00:21:40,441
Well, increased flight
capacity means
474
00:21:40,443 --> 00:21:43,124
increased profits for those
with the vision to see it.
475
00:21:43,126 --> 00:21:46,167
War is not about profit, son.
Absolutely, sir.
476
00:21:46,169 --> 00:21:47,649
Not only.
477
00:21:47,651 --> 00:21:49,490
War is about the just
defeating the unjust.
478
00:21:49,492 --> 00:21:53,054
It is absolutely that too,
sir.
479
00:21:53,056 --> 00:21:54,816
What about you, son?
480
00:21:54,818 --> 00:21:57,338
Are you enjoying your missions?
481
00:21:57,340 --> 00:21:59,460
I'm proud to be doing
my bit, sir.
482
00:21:59,462 --> 00:22:02,944
Yes, indeed.
Thank you for asking.
483
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,265
Good, good.
484
00:22:04,267 --> 00:22:06,269
Good, good.
485
00:22:10,714 --> 00:22:11,753
TEXAN: Are you
a Bill Bevens man?
486
00:22:11,755 --> 00:22:13,635
Or are you
a Ralph Branca man? Hmm?
487
00:22:13,637 --> 00:22:15,236
Well, let's look
at this season.
488
00:22:15,238 --> 00:22:19,040
Bill Bevens has got an ERA
so far of 3.68.
489
00:22:19,042 --> 00:22:22,203
But his 1944 ERA was 2.67.
490
00:22:22,205 --> 00:22:23,325
So you gotta ask yourself,
491
00:22:23,327 --> 00:22:25,887
what happened to Bill Bevens
this year?
492
00:22:25,889 --> 00:22:27,529
Now, Ralph Branca,
his ERA's around 3,
493
00:22:27,531 --> 00:22:29,731
but you gotta remember
kid's 19, right?
494
00:22:29,733 --> 00:22:31,132
He's just gonna
keep getting better.
495
00:22:31,134 --> 00:22:32,734
And Bill Bevens, he's 28.
496
00:22:32,736 --> 00:22:34,296
That elbow's getting tired.
497
00:22:34,298 --> 00:22:36,098
So you're the Yankees' GM.
What are you gonna do?
498
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:37,779
How often
you gonna relieve him?
499
00:22:37,781 --> 00:22:39,501
Well, who do you got?
500
00:22:39,503 --> 00:22:41,863
You got Tiny Bonham,
you got Spud Chandler--
501
00:22:41,865 --> 00:22:44,186
He can't fucking hear you!
502
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:46,188
We don't even know
if he's alive in there!
503
00:22:46,190 --> 00:22:47,469
I can hear you.
I know you can, buddy.
504
00:22:47,471 --> 00:22:48,991
Do we all have to listen
to your bullshit?
505
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,112
TEXAN: What's
your fucking problem?
506
00:22:50,114 --> 00:22:51,513
You!
You're my fucking problem!
507
00:22:51,515 --> 00:22:53,675
Me? What did I do?
You won't shut up!
508
00:22:53,677 --> 00:22:56,078
I can't even hear myself think!
This is a fucking hospital!
509
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,319
TEXAN: Yeah,
it's a fucking hospital.
510
00:22:57,321 --> 00:22:58,800
It's not a fucking library!
511
00:22:58,802 --> 00:23:00,883
I'm helping this fuck, man.
He's trapped in there.
512
00:23:00,885 --> 00:23:02,164
Where's your humanity?
513
00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:04,326
Oh, you're bringing him
out of his shell, are you?
514
00:23:04,328 --> 00:23:05,968
Come on, guys.
Stay out of it, buddy.
515
00:23:05,970 --> 00:23:08,050
I just want
some peace and quiet.
516
00:23:08,052 --> 00:23:09,331
We all do.
517
00:23:09,333 --> 00:23:11,133
We're all just trying
to fucking convalesce here.
518
00:23:11,135 --> 00:23:13,856
Oh, okay, you've been elected
ward spokesman now,
519
00:23:13,858 --> 00:23:15,377
is that right, numb nuts?
520
00:23:15,379 --> 00:23:16,859
[clattering]
521
00:23:16,861 --> 00:23:18,220
You want a piece of me?
Not really.
522
00:23:18,222 --> 00:23:19,822
Well, you're gonna get one.
Okay, then.
523
00:23:19,824 --> 00:23:21,023
Okay, then.
Great.
524
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,024
Great.
525
00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:23,345
[both grunting]
526
00:23:23,347 --> 00:23:24,386
[clattering]
527
00:23:24,388 --> 00:23:26,068
[men shouting]
YOSSARIAN: I'll kill ya!
528
00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:29,231
Hey, hey!
What is going on here?
529
00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:30,873
Hey! Knock it off!
530
00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:32,877
YOSSARIAN:
Ah, I'll kill you!
531
00:23:34,559 --> 00:23:36,921
That's it, Yossarian.
You're out of here!
532
00:23:40,324 --> 00:23:42,845
What?
533
00:23:42,847 --> 00:23:45,287
MAN: Son of a bitch!Let's go!
534
00:23:45,289 --> 00:23:48,531
MAN: Yo-Yo, come on,are we close yet?
535
00:23:48,533 --> 00:23:51,173
MAN: Yossarian, where we at?
536
00:23:51,175 --> 00:23:54,136
MAN: Clear, 053.Closing in 3,200.
537
00:23:54,138 --> 00:23:56,138
[booming]
538
00:23:56,140 --> 00:23:57,260
MAN: You got fire.Are you okay?
539
00:23:57,262 --> 00:23:58,741
MAN: Yo-Yo, we almost there?
540
00:23:58,743 --> 00:24:00,182
MAN: We're holding.
541
00:24:00,184 --> 00:24:01,904
MAN: Open them up!Open them up!
542
00:24:01,906 --> 00:24:03,105
[rumbling]
543
00:24:03,107 --> 00:24:06,108
Fucking Christ.
Jesus fucking Christ.
544
00:24:06,110 --> 00:24:07,470
Jeez!
545
00:24:07,472 --> 00:24:10,032
Ooh, fuck!
Ooh, fuck!
546
00:24:10,034 --> 00:24:13,116
MAN: Yeah, we're coming upon it now.
547
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:15,678
All right, just hold steadyright there.
548
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,480
MAN: We're over it now.We gotta drop.
549
00:24:17,482 --> 00:24:18,801
Let's go.Open them up.
550
00:24:18,803 --> 00:24:20,923
[dramatic music]
551
00:24:20,925 --> 00:24:22,245
Coming up on your left,Yossarian.
552
00:24:22,247 --> 00:24:23,606
Are you holding steady?
553
00:24:23,608 --> 00:24:26,649
MAN: We're sitting righton top of them, Yo-Yo!
554
00:24:26,651 --> 00:24:27,891
Yo-Yo!
555
00:24:27,893 --> 00:24:29,052
Drop them, Yo-Yo!
556
00:24:29,054 --> 00:24:31,094
♪ ♪
557
00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:32,095
Release.
558
00:24:32,097 --> 00:24:34,457
[plane engines roaring]
559
00:24:34,459 --> 00:24:37,821
[booming]
560
00:24:37,823 --> 00:24:39,262
[bell dings]
561
00:24:39,264 --> 00:24:42,307
[motorcycle engine puttering]
562
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:48,311
MAN: Now I push.
563
00:24:48,313 --> 00:24:50,073
MAN: Okay.
Forget it.
564
00:24:50,075 --> 00:24:51,474
Fold, I'm out.
565
00:24:51,476 --> 00:24:53,076
What?
Hey, you know,
it's funny.
566
00:24:53,078 --> 00:24:55,318
You would've thought I would've
been more of a problem, but...
567
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,320
[all shouting]
568
00:24:57,322 --> 00:24:58,521
MAN: Come on.
MAN: Not fair!
569
00:24:58,523 --> 00:25:00,724
MAN: Come on.
570
00:25:00,726 --> 00:25:02,606
Very nice.
Very clean.
571
00:25:02,608 --> 00:25:03,607
Bellissimo.
572
00:25:03,609 --> 00:25:05,569
Leave her alone, Aarfy.
573
00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:07,531
AARFY: I'm just saying,
she's very clean.
574
00:25:07,533 --> 00:25:09,252
What's your name, honey?
575
00:25:09,254 --> 00:25:12,175
Uh, what is it?
[speaking Italian]
576
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,858
Um...
[speaking Italian]
577
00:25:14,860 --> 00:25:16,259
[speaking Italian]
578
00:25:16,261 --> 00:25:18,061
Michaela.
That's very nice.
579
00:25:18,063 --> 00:25:20,103
Me and you should go for a walk
sometime, Michaela.
580
00:25:20,105 --> 00:25:21,264
MICHAELA: Scusi?
581
00:25:21,266 --> 00:25:23,387
AARFY: We should go
for a walk sometime!
582
00:25:23,389 --> 00:25:25,188
You look like Bette Davis.
583
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:27,471
Oh, give it a rest, Aarfy.
She doesn't understand you.
584
00:25:27,473 --> 00:25:28,992
[indistinct chatter]
585
00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:31,074
Gentlemen.
586
00:25:31,076 --> 00:25:33,078
No, no, sit down.
587
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,839
So how are we?
588
00:25:35,841 --> 00:25:39,123
Enjoying our rest and
recreation in the eternal city?
589
00:25:39,125 --> 00:25:40,804
SAMPSON: Oh, yes, sir.
We are, sir.
590
00:25:40,806 --> 00:25:44,007
Oh, what's on the dance card
for this evening?
591
00:25:44,009 --> 00:25:47,131
Uh, Nately lost his mind
to a woman of the night.
592
00:25:47,133 --> 00:25:49,695
[laughter]
593
00:25:50,576 --> 00:25:52,896
She's, like,
the most real person
594
00:25:52,898 --> 00:25:55,099
that I've ever met, Yo-Yo.
595
00:25:55,101 --> 00:25:58,222
She triesto speak English.
596
00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:02,146
She gets the words wrongand we laugh.
597
00:26:02,148 --> 00:26:05,149
We just laugh a lot.
598
00:26:05,151 --> 00:26:08,272
♪ [Rex Stuart's"My Sunday Gal"]
599
00:26:08,274 --> 00:26:10,875
Yeah, we talked all night.
How does that happen?
600
00:26:10,877 --> 00:26:13,317
You know, I've got
this phrase book,
601
00:26:13,319 --> 00:26:14,999
but it's not like I'm looking
at the phrase book
602
00:26:15,001 --> 00:26:16,080
every two seconds.
603
00:26:16,082 --> 00:26:18,763
We just talk.
604
00:26:18,765 --> 00:26:20,444
You know,it's some of her words.
605
00:26:20,446 --> 00:26:21,806
It's some of my words.
606
00:26:21,808 --> 00:26:26,290
We put them together,and somehow it all makes sense.
607
00:26:26,292 --> 00:26:28,572
We cuddle.
608
00:26:28,574 --> 00:26:30,134
We fuck, yeah.
609
00:26:30,136 --> 00:26:32,256
[laughs]It's crazy.
610
00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:35,660
She's just, like,a real person.
611
00:26:35,662 --> 00:26:42,669
♪ ♪
612
00:27:10,177 --> 00:27:12,417
MARCELLO: America will losethe war, my friend.
613
00:27:12,419 --> 00:27:15,580
And Italy will win it.
614
00:27:15,582 --> 00:27:18,022
America is the strongest
615
00:27:18,024 --> 00:27:20,024
and most prosperous
nation on Earth,
616
00:27:20,026 --> 00:27:22,707
and the American fighting man
is second to none.
617
00:27:22,709 --> 00:27:25,590
Why do you think we are here
and the Germans are on the run?
618
00:27:25,592 --> 00:27:30,395
And Italy, on the other hand,
is one of the least prosperous
619
00:27:30,397 --> 00:27:32,157
nations on Earth.
620
00:27:32,159 --> 00:27:35,881
And the Italian fighting man
is probably second to all.
621
00:27:35,883 --> 00:27:39,324
And that's exactly why
my country is doing so well
622
00:27:39,326 --> 00:27:43,971
in this war while your country
is doing so poorly.
623
00:27:44,812 --> 00:27:47,012
The Germans have been
driven out now,
624
00:27:47,014 --> 00:27:49,694
as you so correctly observe.
625
00:27:49,696 --> 00:27:52,617
In a few months,
you will be gone too.
626
00:27:52,619 --> 00:27:54,940
And we will still be here.
627
00:27:54,942 --> 00:27:57,182
Oh, amen to that.
628
00:27:57,184 --> 00:28:02,547
You see, Italy is really
a very poor and weak country.
629
00:28:02,549 --> 00:28:06,592
And that's what makes us
so strong.
630
00:28:06,594 --> 00:28:08,914
Italian soldiers
are not dying anymore,
631
00:28:08,916 --> 00:28:11,957
but American and German
soldiers are, no?
632
00:28:11,959 --> 00:28:14,800
I call that
doing extremely well.
633
00:28:14,802 --> 00:28:16,201
[laughs]
634
00:28:16,203 --> 00:28:20,045
Italy will survive this war
and still be in existence
635
00:28:20,047 --> 00:28:24,011
long after your own country
has been destroyed.
636
00:28:24,772 --> 00:28:27,735
America is not
going to be destroyed.
637
00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:30,496
I wish for your sake
it were true.
638
00:28:30,498 --> 00:28:32,418
For your beliefs.
639
00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:37,623
Because America is a very great
and noble idea.
640
00:28:37,625 --> 00:28:38,824
You're too right.
It is.
641
00:28:38,826 --> 00:28:40,666
Yeah, it's a wonderful idea.
642
00:28:40,668 --> 00:28:43,949
But Rome was destroyed.
Greece was destroyed.
643
00:28:43,951 --> 00:28:47,513
Persia was destroyed.
Spain was destroyed.
644
00:28:47,515 --> 00:28:51,757
All great empires
are destroyed.
645
00:28:51,759 --> 00:28:53,399
Why not yours?
646
00:28:53,401 --> 00:28:55,481
We are gonna survive
and triumph
647
00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:57,123
for a long, long time.
648
00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,524
[chuckles]
649
00:28:58,526 --> 00:29:00,926
You put so much stock
in winning.
650
00:29:00,928 --> 00:29:05,331
But listen, the real trick
is losing wars.
651
00:29:05,333 --> 00:29:07,573
Uh, in knowing which wars
can be lost.
652
00:29:07,575 --> 00:29:10,416
[laughs]
You talk like a madman.
653
00:29:10,418 --> 00:29:13,179
But I live like a sane one.
654
00:29:13,181 --> 00:29:16,943
I was a fascist
when Mussolini was on top,
655
00:29:16,945 --> 00:29:21,587
and I am an anti-fascist
now he has been deposed.
656
00:29:21,589 --> 00:29:25,712
I was fanatically pro-German
when the Germans were here
657
00:29:25,714 --> 00:29:28,114
to protect us
against the Americans.
658
00:29:28,116 --> 00:29:30,436
And now the Americans
are here to protect us
659
00:29:30,438 --> 00:29:33,962
against the Germans,
I'm fanatically pro-American.
660
00:29:35,083 --> 00:29:37,443
I assure you
that you and your country
661
00:29:37,445 --> 00:29:41,888
will have no more loyal
partisan in Italy than me.
662
00:29:41,890 --> 00:29:44,733
But only for as long
as you remain.
663
00:29:46,735 --> 00:29:48,535
Don't you have
any principles?
664
00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:49,816
Of course not.
665
00:29:49,818 --> 00:29:51,297
CLEVINGER: No morality?
666
00:29:51,299 --> 00:29:55,782
Oh-ho, no.
I'm a very, very moral man.
667
00:29:55,784 --> 00:29:58,066
And you have good taste
in brandy.
668
00:29:59,748 --> 00:30:01,267
One does one's best.
669
00:30:01,269 --> 00:30:03,312
CLARA: Marcello.
670
00:30:09,678 --> 00:30:11,558
Yo-Yo, you gotta convince
her to stay with me.
671
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,521
Just tell him to tell her
that I'm good for it.
672
00:30:14,523 --> 00:30:16,723
Or--or--or lend me some money.
How you doing for cash?
673
00:30:16,725 --> 00:30:19,726
I spent $640
on 32 hours straight.
674
00:30:19,728 --> 00:30:20,927
How did I do that?
675
00:30:20,929 --> 00:30:22,329
Well, love did.
That's what love does.
676
00:30:22,331 --> 00:30:23,530
NATELY: What am I gonna do?
677
00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:24,691
YOSSARIAN: Didn't your dad
give you money?
678
00:30:24,693 --> 00:30:26,293
I love him.
Can you--can you--
679
00:30:26,295 --> 00:30:27,574
He did.
He gave me money.
680
00:30:27,576 --> 00:30:29,977
But that's already gone.
I mean, what have I done?
681
00:30:29,979 --> 00:30:31,818
Oh, 32 hours,
who knows?
682
00:30:31,820 --> 00:30:32,819
[laughter]
683
00:30:32,821 --> 00:30:34,823
Clarina.
Mm?
684
00:30:38,387 --> 00:30:40,948
MARCELLO: Oh.
What's your name?
685
00:30:40,950 --> 00:30:42,309
I'm Nately, sir.
686
00:30:42,311 --> 00:30:45,432
Nately...
because it's Sunday,
687
00:30:45,434 --> 00:30:47,434
because you--
you are a nice boy,
688
00:30:47,436 --> 00:30:50,477
I give you two hours
because you make happy
689
00:30:50,479 --> 00:30:52,119
my little Clarina.
690
00:30:52,121 --> 00:30:54,601
Two hours?
W-we have--
691
00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:55,723
we have two hours?
692
00:30:55,725 --> 00:30:56,964
[laughs]
MARCELLO: Yeah.
693
00:30:56,966 --> 00:30:59,086
It's a gift
from the people of Italy.
694
00:30:59,088 --> 00:31:00,327
Go.
695
00:31:00,329 --> 00:31:02,331
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
696
00:31:02,932 --> 00:31:05,012
Eh, si.
Bye, bye, bye, bye.
697
00:31:05,014 --> 00:31:06,133
[laughs]
Come on.
698
00:31:06,135 --> 00:31:08,137
MARCELLO: Bye.
699
00:31:08,818 --> 00:31:10,057
[both laugh]
700
00:31:10,059 --> 00:31:11,418
He won't need two hours.
701
00:31:11,420 --> 00:31:13,082
[both laugh]
702
00:31:24,634 --> 00:31:26,636
What have you got there?
703
00:31:33,523 --> 00:31:36,844
I, uh--
I don't speak Italian, honey.
704
00:31:36,846 --> 00:31:39,008
What's, uh--
what's your name?
705
00:31:42,372 --> 00:31:44,452
Smoke. Smoke.
706
00:31:44,454 --> 00:31:45,853
Yeah, I'm--
I'm good for cigarettes.
707
00:31:45,855 --> 00:31:47,857
Thanks.
708
00:31:53,383 --> 00:31:54,702
I don't--
[chuckles]
709
00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:57,465
I don't--I don't speak--
what's--
710
00:31:57,467 --> 00:32:00,188
what's your--what's your name?
You?
711
00:32:00,190 --> 00:32:01,829
Your name.
712
00:32:01,831 --> 00:32:02,950
Ines.
713
00:32:02,952 --> 00:32:05,553
Ines.
Well, that's a beautiful name.
714
00:32:05,555 --> 00:32:07,395
You?
Me, I'm Yo-Yo.
715
00:32:07,397 --> 00:32:08,396
Yo-Yo.
716
00:32:08,398 --> 00:32:10,238
Yo-Yo.
Yo-Yo.
717
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,080
Yo-Yo. [chuckles]
Yeah.
718
00:32:12,082 --> 00:32:14,282
Hey, Ines, where's, uh--
where's your mom and dad?
719
00:32:14,284 --> 00:32:16,286
Your, uh--your parents?
720
00:32:17,407 --> 00:32:19,607
Uh, okay.
721
00:32:19,609 --> 00:32:23,171
Well, how much for this?
722
00:32:23,173 --> 00:32:25,253
[speaking Italian]
723
00:32:25,255 --> 00:32:27,535
Lira?
724
00:32:27,537 --> 00:32:29,497
Good God, Ines.
725
00:32:29,499 --> 00:32:31,499
You're a tough operator.
726
00:32:31,501 --> 00:32:34,863
Uh, all right.
727
00:32:34,865 --> 00:32:37,746
Find a use for this,
I guess, somehow.
728
00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:39,750
[laughs]
729
00:32:44,194 --> 00:32:46,957
All right, kid.
Thank you.
730
00:32:48,038 --> 00:32:52,601
Hey, uh, go home
to your, uh, parents or...
731
00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:54,523
yeah.
732
00:32:54,525 --> 00:32:56,405
All right, good, good.
733
00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:59,688
All right, fellas!
I hope you like dried herring.
734
00:32:59,690 --> 00:33:01,410
Hey, you going back
to Pianosa?
735
00:33:01,412 --> 00:33:02,971
Can we hitch a ride?
Where's yours?
736
00:33:02,973 --> 00:33:04,052
I dunno.
737
00:33:04,054 --> 00:33:05,253
That's what we're waiting
to find out.
738
00:33:05,255 --> 00:33:07,135
Well, mine's already full.
739
00:33:07,137 --> 00:33:09,017
You hear Cathcart's raised
the missions again?
740
00:33:09,019 --> 00:33:10,018
Huh?
741
00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:11,580
You mean last month,
to 35.
742
00:33:11,582 --> 00:33:13,542
No, I mean yesterday to 40.
743
00:33:13,544 --> 00:33:14,783
Are you serious?
744
00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:15,944
MILO: Oh, shit, guys.
745
00:33:15,946 --> 00:33:17,186
I thought you would have
already have heard.
746
00:33:17,188 --> 00:33:18,387
How would we have heard?
747
00:33:18,389 --> 00:33:21,870
[plane engines chopping]
748
00:33:21,872 --> 00:33:23,112
[bell dings]
749
00:33:23,114 --> 00:33:26,115
[dramatic music]
750
00:33:26,117 --> 00:33:33,124
♪ ♪
751
00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:43,612
NATELY: Hey, she's not a whore.
MAN: She's not a whore.
752
00:33:43,614 --> 00:33:45,054
NATELY: I told you
not to call her that.
753
00:33:45,056 --> 00:33:46,495
MAN: No, she's a librarian.
754
00:33:46,497 --> 00:33:47,937
MAN: She takes money for sex.
755
00:33:47,939 --> 00:33:49,458
Nately, she's a whore.
756
00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:52,822
♪ ♪
757
00:33:52,824 --> 00:33:55,064
[tires squealing]
758
00:33:55,066 --> 00:34:02,073
♪ ♪
759
00:34:04,115 --> 00:34:06,395
YOSSARIAN: Am I supposedto get my ass shot off
760
00:34:06,397 --> 00:34:08,237
because Cathcart wantsto become a general?
761
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,478
What about the men
on the mainland?
762
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,920
Our boys on the ground,
are they supposed to get
763
00:34:10,922 --> 00:34:13,242
their asses shot off just
because you don't want to fly?
764
00:34:13,244 --> 00:34:15,004
Those boys are entitled
to air support.
765
00:34:15,006 --> 00:34:17,607
Our boys on the ground.
Would you listen to yourself?
766
00:34:17,609 --> 00:34:19,609
Now you're even talking
like Cathcart.
767
00:34:19,611 --> 00:34:21,651
Yes, they're entitled
to our support.
768
00:34:21,653 --> 00:34:25,334
But not necessarily by me.
Not me specifically.
769
00:34:25,336 --> 00:34:27,897
The only reason we're still
flying is not for some--
770
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,459
for some noble purpose.
771
00:34:29,461 --> 00:34:31,781
It's because that bastard
keeps raising our missions.
772
00:34:31,783 --> 00:34:33,903
Listen, you know very well
that I don't approve
773
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,785
of Colonel Cathcart
any more than you do.
774
00:34:35,787 --> 00:34:38,067
But it is not for us
to determine what targets
775
00:34:38,069 --> 00:34:39,789
must be destroyed or who's
to destroy them or what's--
776
00:34:39,791 --> 00:34:41,431
Or who gets killed
doing them and why?
777
00:34:41,433 --> 00:34:43,112
Yes, even that.
We have no right to question--
778
00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:44,634
Oh, you're insane.
No right to question the--
779
00:34:44,636 --> 00:34:46,356
Do you really mean that
it's none of my business
780
00:34:46,358 --> 00:34:49,279
how or why I get killed
and that it is Cathcart's?
781
00:34:49,281 --> 00:34:51,361
Do you really mean that?
Yes, I do.
782
00:34:51,363 --> 00:34:53,082
There are men entrusted
with winning the war
783
00:34:53,084 --> 00:34:54,844
who are in a much better
position than we are
784
00:34:54,846 --> 00:34:56,726
to decide what targets
have to be bombed
785
00:34:56,728 --> 00:34:58,408
and who has to do it.
786
00:34:58,410 --> 00:35:00,330
Okay, we're talking
about two different things.
787
00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:02,292
You're talking
about the relationship
788
00:35:02,294 --> 00:35:03,613
of the Air Corps
to the Infantry.
789
00:35:03,615 --> 00:35:05,015
Yeah.
790
00:35:05,017 --> 00:35:06,056
And I'm talking
about the relationship
791
00:35:06,058 --> 00:35:07,577
of me to Cathcart.
792
00:35:07,579 --> 00:35:09,459
You're talking
about winning the war.
793
00:35:09,461 --> 00:35:12,382
And I'm talking about winning
the war and keeping me alive.
794
00:35:12,384 --> 00:35:13,463
Exactly.
795
00:35:13,465 --> 00:35:14,985
And which do you think
is more important?
796
00:35:14,987 --> 00:35:17,147
What?
Open your eyes!
797
00:35:17,149 --> 00:35:19,549
Clevinger, it doesn't make
a damn bit of difference
798
00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:21,271
who wins the war
to someone who's dead.
799
00:35:21,273 --> 00:35:22,552
Congratulations.
800
00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:24,114
I can't think of another
attitude that could be
801
00:35:24,116 --> 00:35:27,037
depended upon to give
greater comfort to the enemy.
802
00:35:27,039 --> 00:35:30,280
The enemy is anybody
who's gonna get you killed
803
00:35:30,282 --> 00:35:33,163
no matter which side he's on,
and that includes Cathcart.
804
00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:35,085
And don't you forget that,
'cause the longer
805
00:35:35,087 --> 00:35:36,767
you remember it,
the longer you might live.
806
00:35:36,769 --> 00:35:38,769
I want to live.
Don't get me wrong.
807
00:35:38,771 --> 00:35:41,611
Then listen to me!
Listen to Yo-Yo!
808
00:35:41,613 --> 00:35:44,695
I continually give you
sound, lifesaving advice.
809
00:35:44,697 --> 00:35:46,336
I am helping you live.
810
00:35:46,338 --> 00:35:50,541
And you continue to recklessly
operate on fucking principle.
811
00:35:50,543 --> 00:35:52,102
To my dying day.
812
00:35:52,104 --> 00:35:54,907
[plane engines roaring]
813
00:35:58,230 --> 00:36:00,673
[car engine revving]
814
00:36:02,114 --> 00:36:05,916
♪ [Rosemary Clooney's"No Love, No Nothin'"]
815
00:36:05,918 --> 00:36:10,721
CLOONEY:♪ No love, no nothing ♪
816
00:36:10,723 --> 00:36:12,242
♪ ♪
817
00:36:12,244 --> 00:36:16,407
♪ Until my baby comes home ♪
818
00:36:16,409 --> 00:36:20,691
♪ No, sir, no nothing ♪
819
00:36:20,693 --> 00:36:22,453
♪ ♪
820
00:36:22,455 --> 00:36:26,777
♪ As long as baby must roam ♪
821
00:36:26,779 --> 00:36:31,742
♪ I promised himI'd wait for him ♪
822
00:36:31,744 --> 00:36:36,387
♪ Till even Hades froze ♪
823
00:36:36,389 --> 00:36:41,312
♪ I'm lonesome, heaven knows ♪
824
00:36:41,314 --> 00:36:46,277
♪ But what I said still goes ♪
825
00:36:46,279 --> 00:36:50,601
♪ No love, no nothing ♪
826
00:36:50,603 --> 00:36:52,283
♪ ♪
827
00:36:52,285 --> 00:36:56,047
♪ And that's a promiseI'll keep ♪
828
00:36:56,049 --> 00:37:00,571
♪ No fun with no one ♪
829
00:37:00,573 --> 00:37:02,173
♪ ♪
830
00:37:02,175 --> 00:37:06,137
♪ I'm gettingplenty of sleep ♪
831
00:37:06,139 --> 00:37:11,142
♪ My heart's on strikeand though it's like ♪
832
00:37:11,144 --> 00:37:14,545
♪ An empty honeycomb ♪
833
00:37:14,547 --> 00:37:15,747
♪ ♪
834
00:37:15,749 --> 00:37:19,550
♪ No love, no, sir,no nothing ♪
835
00:37:19,552 --> 00:37:22,313
♪ Till my baby comes home ♪
836
00:37:22,315 --> 00:37:29,322
♪ ♪
837
00:37:33,767 --> 00:37:35,326
[water splashes]
838
00:37:35,328 --> 00:37:42,336
♪ ♪
839
00:37:59,112 --> 00:38:02,794
[plane engines roaring]
840
00:38:02,796 --> 00:38:05,157
And we buy
from this syndicate?
841
00:38:05,159 --> 00:38:07,079
Yes, the fundamental
principle is,
842
00:38:07,081 --> 00:38:08,400
everybody has a share.
843
00:38:08,402 --> 00:38:10,522
And it's that mass purchasing
power that makes
844
00:38:10,524 --> 00:38:13,085
the big difference.
For example, lamb chops.
845
00:38:13,087 --> 00:38:14,526
I heard about
those lamb chops.
846
00:38:14,528 --> 00:38:16,248
Oh, then you'll have
heard they're the best
847
00:38:16,250 --> 00:38:17,569
the black market has to offer.
848
00:38:17,571 --> 00:38:20,132
They're going
for a song in Scotland.
849
00:38:20,134 --> 00:38:21,773
I can't send a plane
to Scotland.
850
00:38:21,775 --> 00:38:23,135
I don't have the authority
for that.
851
00:38:23,137 --> 00:38:25,257
I can if you lend me a plane.
852
00:38:25,259 --> 00:38:27,059
And then, colonel,
there's Polish sausage
853
00:38:27,061 --> 00:38:29,862
that goes for peanuts
in Cracow.
854
00:38:29,864 --> 00:38:33,065
Cracow's hundreds of miles
behind enemy lines.
855
00:38:33,067 --> 00:38:34,466
How would you get
to the sausage?
856
00:38:34,468 --> 00:38:36,668
There's an international
Polish sausage exchange
857
00:38:36,670 --> 00:38:37,750
in Geneva.
858
00:38:37,752 --> 00:38:40,112
I'll just fly the peanuts
into Switzerland
859
00:38:40,114 --> 00:38:41,754
and exchange them
for Polish sausage
860
00:38:41,756 --> 00:38:43,115
at the open market rate.
861
00:38:43,117 --> 00:38:44,997
They'll fly the peanuts
back to Cracow.
862
00:38:44,999 --> 00:38:46,959
I'll fly the Polish sausage
back to you.
863
00:38:46,961 --> 00:38:49,001
You buy only as much
Polish sausage as you want
864
00:38:49,003 --> 00:38:50,042
from the syndicate.
865
00:38:50,044 --> 00:38:51,884
There will be
the tangerines too.
866
00:38:51,886 --> 00:38:54,006
And eggs from Malta
and scotch from Sicily.
867
00:38:54,008 --> 00:38:55,367
You'll be paying the money
to yourself
868
00:38:55,369 --> 00:38:57,329
from the syndicate
since you'll own a share.
869
00:38:57,331 --> 00:38:59,934
So really you'll be getting
everything you buy for nothing.
870
00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:03,257
Doesn't that make sense?
871
00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:10,224
[plane engines rumbling]
872
00:39:17,111 --> 00:39:19,954
So you're helping the boys
on the ground after all.
873
00:39:22,957 --> 00:39:25,398
Helping the boys
on the ground.
874
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,283
CLEVINGER: Good for you, Yo-Yo.Good for you.
875
00:39:29,604 --> 00:39:33,926
♪ Yankee Doodle went to town ♪
876
00:39:33,928 --> 00:39:38,531
♪ Riding on a pony ♪
877
00:39:38,533 --> 00:39:43,136
♪ Stuck a feather in his cap ♪
878
00:39:43,138 --> 00:39:47,780
♪ And called it macaroni ♪
879
00:39:47,782 --> 00:39:49,462
♪ Yankee Doodle ♪
880
00:39:49,464 --> 00:39:52,065
♪ Keep it up ♪
881
00:39:52,067 --> 00:39:55,949
♪ Yankee Doodle dandy ♪
882
00:39:55,951 --> 00:39:58,791
♪ Mind the musicand the step ♪
883
00:39:58,793 --> 00:40:00,353
YOSSARIAN: And...
884
00:40:00,355 --> 00:40:01,474
CLEVINGER:♪ And with the girls ♪
885
00:40:01,476 --> 00:40:04,317
Bombs away.
CLEVINGER: ♪ Be handy ♪
886
00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:08,121
♪ Yankee Doodle is a tune ♪
887
00:40:08,123 --> 00:40:12,405
♪ That comes in mighty handy ♪
888
00:40:12,407 --> 00:40:16,369
♪ The enemy all runs away at ♪
889
00:40:16,371 --> 00:40:18,531
♪ Ya-- ♪
890
00:40:18,533 --> 00:40:21,014
[booming]
891
00:40:21,016 --> 00:40:22,936
MCWATT: That's itfor another day, gentlemen.
892
00:40:22,938 --> 00:40:24,017
We are heading home.
893
00:40:24,019 --> 00:40:26,459
We are out of here,
"Laden Maiden."
894
00:40:26,461 --> 00:40:29,504
[plane engine rumbling]
895
00:40:33,228 --> 00:40:36,269
[dramatic music]
896
00:40:36,271 --> 00:40:39,152
♪ ♪
897
00:40:39,154 --> 00:40:40,754
Did you hear something,
McWatt?
898
00:40:40,756 --> 00:40:43,316
MCWATT: Did I hear what?
899
00:40:43,318 --> 00:40:45,238
Are you getting
"Laden Maiden"?
900
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:47,200
[static hissing]
901
00:40:47,202 --> 00:40:48,802
MCWATT: Clevinger?
902
00:40:48,804 --> 00:40:51,084
Hey, Clevinger?
You there, buddy?
903
00:40:51,086 --> 00:40:53,006
♪ ♪
904
00:40:53,008 --> 00:40:54,688
I think it's just the radio.
905
00:40:54,690 --> 00:40:59,813
♪ ♪
906
00:40:59,815 --> 00:41:01,655
Hey, has "Laden Maiden"
landed?
What?
907
00:41:01,657 --> 00:41:04,658
Has "Laden Maiden" come back?
I don't know, sir.
908
00:41:04,660 --> 00:41:07,541
♪ ♪
909
00:41:07,543 --> 00:41:09,103
YOSSARIAN:Did "Laden Maiden" land?
910
00:41:09,105 --> 00:41:11,985
This is tower to Army,
7499.
911
00:41:11,987 --> 00:41:13,947
Are you receiving? Over.
912
00:41:13,949 --> 00:41:15,789
♪ ♪
913
00:41:15,791 --> 00:41:18,792
This is tower to Army, 7499.
914
00:41:18,794 --> 00:41:20,034
Are you receiving? Over.
915
00:41:20,036 --> 00:41:22,836
♪ ♪
916
00:41:22,838 --> 00:41:26,240
This is tower to Army, 7499.
917
00:41:26,242 --> 00:41:28,042
Are you receiving? Over.
918
00:41:28,044 --> 00:41:30,364
♪ ♪
919
00:41:30,366 --> 00:41:33,287
This is tower to Army, 7499.
920
00:41:33,289 --> 00:41:34,929
Are you receiving? Over.
921
00:41:34,931 --> 00:41:41,978
♪ ♪
922
00:42:00,076 --> 00:42:02,478
CHAPLAIN: Still no newson Clevinger?
923
00:42:04,921 --> 00:42:07,281
Nothing.
924
00:42:07,283 --> 00:42:10,124
It's 36 hours now.
925
00:42:10,126 --> 00:42:12,128
He's on
the Missing in Action list.
926
00:42:14,290 --> 00:42:16,292
It's official.
927
00:42:18,415 --> 00:42:20,417
That's no good.
928
00:42:22,539 --> 00:42:25,460
You were with him in Santa Ana?
929
00:42:25,462 --> 00:42:27,464
Yeah, we went through
the whole thing.
930
00:42:28,665 --> 00:42:30,667
Clevinger was...
931
00:42:32,309 --> 00:42:35,230
He was just good.
932
00:42:35,232 --> 00:42:37,234
Basically.
933
00:42:48,885 --> 00:42:50,845
CATHCART: Bologna, gentlemen.
934
00:42:50,847 --> 00:42:53,928
This is where the rubberhits the road.
935
00:42:53,930 --> 00:42:57,172
Enemy artillery are here,here, and here.
936
00:42:57,174 --> 00:42:59,534
But our raiders are not
getting to them
937
00:42:59,536 --> 00:43:03,979
because they're being torn
to shreds both here, here,
938
00:43:03,981 --> 00:43:05,901
and here.
939
00:43:05,903 --> 00:43:07,702
Our guess is,
there are Howitzers
940
00:43:07,704 --> 00:43:10,545
based in those cave systems.
941
00:43:10,547 --> 00:43:17,072
Here, here, and, uh,
eh, somewhere around there.
942
00:43:17,074 --> 00:43:18,593
Very difficult to pinpoint
a target.
943
00:43:18,595 --> 00:43:20,395
It's basically a hole
in the ground,
944
00:43:20,397 --> 00:43:22,439
as you men well know.
945
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:27,404
Now...some of you
will not be coming back.
946
00:43:30,247 --> 00:43:32,287
There's no other way
of telling you that.
947
00:43:32,289 --> 00:43:36,612
Just basic statistics
tell us that.
948
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:41,096
So if any of you should find
yourself on the wrong side
949
00:43:41,098 --> 00:43:43,819
of the statistics--and at the
risk of stating the obvious--
950
00:43:43,821 --> 00:43:47,743
I would like to point out
that your sacrifice will not
951
00:43:47,745 --> 00:43:49,665
have been in vain.
952
00:43:49,667 --> 00:43:54,710
And if, in your final moments,you see death
953
00:43:54,712 --> 00:43:57,273
coming for you,think not of death.
954
00:43:57,275 --> 00:44:00,876
Think of the living.And know this.
955
00:44:00,878 --> 00:44:03,158
God damn it,the 27th Air Corps Division
956
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:05,841
thanks you for your sacrifice,gentlemen.
957
00:44:05,843 --> 00:44:08,846
[breathing heavily]
958
00:44:11,609 --> 00:44:14,650
♪ [The Mound City Blue Blowers'"I've Got My Fingers Crossed"]
959
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:21,617
♪ ♪
960
00:44:21,619 --> 00:44:24,620
MAN: ♪ I've gotmy fingers crossed ♪
961
00:44:24,622 --> 00:44:27,183
♪ Not that I'm superstitious ♪
962
00:44:27,185 --> 00:44:30,066
♪ I'm afraid it's too goodto be true ♪
963
00:44:30,068 --> 00:44:32,388
[whistling]
964
00:44:32,390 --> 00:44:34,790
♪ I've gotmy fingers crossed ♪
965
00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:37,473
♪ No wonder I'm suspicious ♪
966
00:44:37,475 --> 00:44:42,558
♪ I'm so gayand skies are much too blue ♪
967
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:47,563
♪ Don't want no troublewith Old Man Trouble ♪
968
00:44:47,565 --> 00:44:49,645
♪ And that goes double ♪
969
00:44:49,647 --> 00:44:51,728
♪ On account ofbecause I'm in love ♪
970
00:44:51,730 --> 00:44:54,731
♪ Why certainly I've gotmy fingers crossed ♪
971
00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:57,614
MAN: ♪ Oh, yeah ♪MAN: ♪ The thrillis so delicious ♪
972
00:44:57,616 --> 00:45:00,697
♪ I'm afraidit's too good to be true ♪
973
00:45:00,699 --> 00:45:07,706
♪ ♪
974
00:45:48,147 --> 00:45:49,666
MAN: ♪ Oh, sure ♪
975
00:45:49,668 --> 00:45:56,675
♪ ♪
976
00:45:56,677 --> 00:46:01,677
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976
00:46:02,305 --> 00:46:08,653
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