All language subtitles for 007 - 01x07 - edward the conqueror

A long time ago,
when I wrote this story,

I never used to start work
in the mornings

until I had listened
to one or another

of the Beethoven quartets
all the way through.

The idea behind this

was that if I soaked myself in
these very great creative works,

then a little
of Beethoven's inspiration

might stick to my own skin
or my brain or my fingers,

and come out in what I wrote.

Of course, that never happened.

But one did sit down to work

in a marvelously uplifted
state of mind,

which made it
a little more difficult

to write absolute bosh.

What you're going to see now

is a musical story
that somehow emerged

from this peculiar
habit of mine.

[Classical music playing]

Woman calling: Edward!

Lunch is ready.

All right,
I'm coming.

What a good fire.

I've decided to clear
this corner right out.

I'm sick and tired

of all these brambles
and nettles.

Take a day or two.

Just don't overdo it,
that's all.

Oh, Louisa, I wish
you wouldn't treat me

as if I'm an old man.

A little exercise never
did anybody any harm.

Look.

Look.

Good heavens,
you silly cat.

What do you think
you're doing?

You'll scorch yourself.

Do you know
whose this cat is?

Have you seen it
before?

Never.

Well, now,
you go on home.

There's a good cat.
That's it.

Look,
it's following us.

Shoo, go home.

Go home,
we don't want you.

It's no use, Edward.

Louisa, I'm not having
that cat in the house.

I don't like cats
in the house.

No, you don't like
anything in the house.

What?

You don't
like anything--

Go home!

Oh, I think
it's a beautiful cat.

Oh, you would.

I hope it stays
for a while.

Well,
I hope it doesn't.

Anyway, it belongs
to someone else.

It can't possibly
stay here,

it's obviously lost.

Go home!

Louisa, if that cat

is still hanging around
here this afternoon,

you'd better take it
to the police.

They'll see that
it gets a home.

How did you get in here?

Hmm?

Well, you're
an awfully nice cat.

And I do wish I could keep you,

but you know,

I'm not often allowed
things that I like, no.

Hmm.

Oh, you darling,
what a lot of...

what a lot of bumps you've got
on your beautiful face.

Bumps, bumps, bumps.

Oh, darling,
you must be very old.

Well...

Oh, dear. No, no, no.

Well, after I've finished
playing the piano...

yes, I've got to take you
to the police station.

Well, your owners must
be frantic with worry.

There.

There.

Now, I hope you like music.

I play every afternoon.

You know, when I was young,

people used to say
that I showed promise.

And then I married.

Well, enough said.

Now, we'll start
with a little Schumann.

Yes.

[Playing slow tune]

[Meow]

What's the matter?
Did I frighten you?

Oh, perhaps you've never
heard music before, hmm?

All right, I'm going to try you
with something else.

Yes. Ready?

[Playing light
classical music]

[Music stops]

[Music resumes]

[Purring]

[Music stops]

Now, am I imagining it,

or did you prefer
the Liszt to the Schumann?

Well, that's
a slightly vulgar taste,

if I may say so.

No, no, I--

no, I do admit that Liszt
can be very charming sometimes.

Yes.

All right, let's see what sort
of connoisseur you really are.

I'm going to play you
a little Bach.

[Starts playing]

[Music stops]

What...what's wrong?

What's wrong
with Johann Sebastian?

What's so special
about Franz Liszt?

I don't believe you know
anything about music at all.

I think you're a fraud.

All right, I am going
to put you to a test.

Let's see how this
grabs you, pussycat.

[Music]

[Meow]

[Crash]

[Music stops]

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

[Cat purring]

Oh, no.

Louisa: Edward!

Edward!

Please come quickly!

Something wonderful
has happened!

I'm upstairs, dear.
I'm up here.

Edward: I am coming.

Edward, something
so wonderful has happened.

Now I will try and tell you
quietly and calmly,

but you know,

I can hardly breathe
for the excitement!

What has happened here?

Oh, please, don't!
No, don't touch them.

Leave them exactly
as they are.

Louisa, what's
the matter with you?

I thought I told you
to get rid of the cat.

Yes.

I thought I told you
to take it to the police.

Did it do this damage?

Please,
don't get worked up,

because what
you don't understand

is that something
wonderfully exciting

is happening
in this house

while you were
in the garden.

The cat knocked
over the statuettes.

That must have been
terribly exciting.

Exactly.

Louisa?

Yes?

Are you quite well?

I'm in robust health.

My dear, dear Louisa,

I realize that we lead
a quiet life.

I know that apart
from your music

and your cranky ideas,

you have very little
to occupy you, but really,

a cat, a stray cat,
getting up to mischief

cannot, by the wildest
stretch of the imagination,

be called "exciting"!

You're quite right.
Quite right, Edward.

I should have described
what happened here

this afternoon as...
momentous.

Oh, Louisa,

stop this nonsense
and make us some tea.

Not until I've told you
what's happened.

You've told me.

The cat has broken some
very valuable ornaments.

Be quiet. And listen.

Now, uh....

This is no ordinary cat.
This is a musical cat.

A musical cat.

Yes.

Well, what does it do,
whistle "The Anvil Chorus"?

No.

Edward,
I'm deadly serious.

Now, I am not
a fanciful woman.

Oh...

I think I can say,
not immodestly,

that I'm practical,
hard-working,

and down-to-earth.

Down-to-earth?
Louisa, what is all that?

Spiritualism, theosophy,
reincarnation.

"Be your own guru."
Down-to-earth?

Yes, well, I was
coming to that now.

I'm a realist.

Huh!

Yes, and that
is why I know

that there are certain
mysteries in life

that cannot be denied,

or, in some cases,
explained.

And I believe that
immortality

of the human soul
is one such mystery.

What has that
got to do with a cat?

And now I will
try and tell you

what I think
in plain English.

I am listening.

I know
you think I'm silly,

but I shall bear
your scorn gladly.

Now don't get heroic,

just please come
to the point.

Edward, I think that
we are at this moment

in the presence of
a great immortal soul.

Yes, Louisa.
Yes, of course.

Of course.

I believe that this cat
is the reincarnation

of the great Hungarian
composer...

Franz Liszt.

Oh, no.

[Playing Liszt]

All right,
you say the cat

reacted to the music
of Franz Liszt twice.

Now, I heard him purr

and saw him
walk to you once.

Let's see him
do it again.

Certainly not.

He's not
a circus performer.

He is one of the world's
great composers.

Oh, my dear woman,
he is a cat.

He is the reincarnation
of Franz Liszt.

Prove it!

I don't need to prove it.
I know.

The soul is there,

and that's good enough
for me.

Let's see him
perform, huh?

Let's see him
tell the difference

between his own music
and someone else's.

I do believe
you're jealous.

Jealous!

Of a miserable,
mangy old cat!

Edward, if you're
going to be insulting,

the best thing
you can do

is to go back
to your gardening

and leave the two of us
here together in peace.

If you want
my honest opinion,

I think you're ill.

I think you need
a doctor!

Pay no attention to him,
my darling.

Oh, dear, no.

Pay no attention to him,
Maestro.

Oh, dear,
if only you could talk.

Just think, you knew Beethoven.

Met Mendelssohn and Schubert.

Good grief, you were
Wagner's father-in-law.

I'm looking
at Wagner's father-in-law.

He wants proof.

Wills, Wills--no, not Wills.

Oh, excuse me.

Milton?

[Indistinct]

F, F, F. Milton.

Ah! F. Milton Willis.
The Emerson Foundation Library.

We'll be there and back
in half an hour.

Oh, oh, yes, I see.

You're interested
in reincarnation.

Well, now,
the list is endless.

Epictetus came back as
Ralph Waldo Emerson,

Cicero returned
as Gladstone,

Alfred the Great came
back as Abraham Lincoln,

and Julius Caesar
as Teddy Roosevelt.

Yes. Oh,
these are proven facts.

Really.
Is there anything known

about the famous composer
Franz Liszt?

Can't recall.

However,
a colleague of mine,

Professor Jameson,

maintains that
Beethoven came back

as Louis Armstrong.

I make no comment,
but I'm rather doubtful.

Would you excuse me?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I beg your pardon.

And what about animals?

I mean,
is it possible--

would it be probable
for a famous person

to come back in
the body of an animal?

I'm afraid I'm not
very good about animals.

I have an allergy to fur.

But, yes,
there are known cases.

Napoleon Bonaparte came back
as an Arabian stallion,

as a gift from
Prince Ibn Hassad

to Queen Victoria.

Oh, then, of course,

there's that most celebrated
of reincarnations,

Lord Byron.

I thought everyone
knew about that.

Yes, Lord Byron returned
as a Bengal tiger.

Unfortunately, he was shot
on an expedition in 1906,

led by the president

of the Karachi branch
of our society.

Ahem.

If one was convinced,
Mr. Willis,

of the reincarnation
of someone famous

as an animal--

well, say, as a cat,
for example--

how would one set about
proving it?

Hmm, now this is
very interesting.

Yes, yes.

Usually, one would observe
a physical resemblance,

however slight.

Hmm.

Let's take the example
of Lord Byron and the tiger.

It was found that
the tiger was lame.

Well, Lord Byron
had a club foot,

so, you see...

Ah.

I can't tell you
what the resemblance was

between Bonaparte
and the Arabian stallion.

The bumps. Oh,
I beg your pardon.

I do beg
your pardon.

I could find out
if you wanted me to.

Thank you, thank you.
You have been so kind.

Anytime, anytime.

You're so kind.

Now perhaps
you'd be interested

in some of the work that
I've been doing recently

on a very great
favorite of mine,

George Washington.

Ah, yes. I can prove
3 reappearances.

First as Mrs. Lincoln,
secondly as the poet Whitman,

and third--

third and this is going
to really baffle the cynics--

as the Dalai Lama!

Louisa: That's it,

look carefully at
that photograph.

Now what do you see?
Do you see his warts?

Edward: Yeah.

Well, he was famous
for them.

His warts?

Yes.

Yes, his students
used to grow

little tufts of hair
on their own faces,

didn't they,

to look just
like him.

Yes, 5 of them.

Now,
feel the cat's face.

Feel the--

Yes. Come on.

Feel it properly.

What do you feel?

Well, sort of bumps.

Exactly.

5 of them, Edward,

in exactly
the same places.

Hmm?

Quad erat demonstrandum.

Doesn't prove anything.

I'm afraid, Maestro,

I shall have to put you
to a little test.

Now it is well-known

that Liszt admired
all of Chopin's works,

except one.

And that was the Scherzo
in B-flat Minor.

He called that
"The Governess."

"The Governess Scherzo."
He hated it.

So what?

Well, Edward, let's
just see what happens.

Yes?

Thank you.

[Playing Scherzo]

[Meow]

[Music stops]

Yes, and now
some of his own music.

[Playing Liszt]

[Louisa chuckling]

And what have you got
to say for yourself now?

I...I must say,
it's quite amusing.

Amusing. Yes, amusing.

We've got Franz Liszt
staying at our house.

It's the most
wonderful thing

that's ever happened!

I shall notify

all the eminent
musicians in the world!

They'll think you're mad.

We'll make films,

we'll give
television interviews--

I'll have none of this.

Louisa, I absolutely
forbid you to stir up

a lot of publicity about
such a ridiculous thing!

What?

All right.

Keep the damn animal
if you must,

but it'll go no further,

do you understand that,
Louisa?

Damn you, Edwa--

For the first time
in our lives,

something wonderful
happens,

and then you're
scared to death

that somebody
will laugh at you!

Oh, Louisa, I realize

that this is an awkward
time in your life.

My god. You idiot,
you pompous idiot,

don't you see that this
is something momentous?

I'll not have another
word on the subject.

I'll tell you
what you will do.

You will go to the kitchen
and fix me something to eat.

I'm hungry
and I want my dinner.

I'm sorry.
I am so sorry.

I did not realize--
Oh, you must be
famished.

I'm sorry.

I'll make you something
very special.

Very special,
my darling,

just for you.

I won't be long.

� La, la, la, la �

� La, la, la, la �

� Maestro �

� Maestro �

� Maestro �

Maestro?

[Door opens and closes]

Where is he?

Who?

You know who.

Oh, the cat.
I don't know.

[Running water]

I, uh,
built the fire up

so it'll burn
all night.

Edward?

I forgot my gloves.

Damn brambles,
they'll tear you to pieces.

Maestro!

There's nothing to get
worked up about, Louisa.

Louisa, put that down.

Put that down, Louisa.

Put that down!

Louisa--

[Purring]