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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,094 --> 00:00:13,553 - Anyone inside? - Not yet, sir. 2 00:00:14,138 --> 00:00:15,639 - Good morning, Mr Forst. - Good morning, Mr Forst. 3 00:00:15,723 --> 00:00:17,474 Good morning, Mr Forst. 4 00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:26,149 I have some correspondence and some papers for you to sign. 5 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,818 Don't bother me with that stuff. 6 00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:31,321 - Would you like some coffee? - No. 7 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,242 - You look lousy. - You're not in a good mood? 8 00:00:35,993 --> 00:00:39,287 - Anything I can do for you? - I'll give you a list of my maladies. 9 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,997 You better give me a cup of coffee. 10 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,458 I don't want to yawn in Mrs Miniver's face. 11 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,043 - Yes, sir. - Hmm? 12 00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:00,475 Here you are. 13 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,185 Will you take this thing out of my mouth? 14 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,020 - Okay. - Thanks. 15 00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:09,484 - Good morning. - Good morning, Miss Whiteford. 16 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,445 Hello, Nita. How'd they get you out of bed? 17 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,989 Aw, shut up. 18 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:19,619 Harry. Oh, you know Harry Selfrine. 19 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:22,622 Do I know Harry Selfrine? Do I know Harry. 20 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,207 Good morning. 21 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:25,750 - Jim Mortensen. - Nice boy. 22 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,168 Kazmier, Edward. 23 00:01:28,212 --> 00:01:30,505 Do you know Richard Forst, our manager? 24 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:34,134 - Hello, darling. Lang. L-A-N-G. - How are you, dear? 25 00:01:35,803 --> 00:01:37,929 - Good morning, Mr Draper. - All right. 26 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:41,141 When I was a kid, we used to play a game called, 27 00:01:41,225 --> 00:01:43,518 "Your mother wears army shoes". 28 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,437 I'm not your mother. Sit down. 29 00:01:45,521 --> 00:01:48,607 ...Do you know Frederick P. Draper? 30 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:50,191 Thank you, Emily Dickinson. 31 00:01:51,068 --> 00:01:53,653 - Here you are. - Thank you very much. 32 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,196 Thank you. 33 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,657 What are you gonna sell us this time, Harry? 34 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,200 Money. 35 00:02:00,661 --> 00:02:02,245 Actually, it's a very good film. 36 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:05,498 We call it the, uh, Dolce Vita of the commercial field. 37 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,042 Is that so? 38 00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:09,002 I don't mean to insinuate it's a crude film. 39 00:02:09,086 --> 00:02:11,087 We were trying to capture several approaches. 40 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,672 What Jim means is that we really... 41 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,507 No, no. That's not what I mean at all. 42 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:18,053 We were talking facts and figures until we practically went out of our minds. 43 00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:20,138 Losses, gains, ratings, schmatings. 44 00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:22,557 You can lose your mind if you keep analysing things like that. 45 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,685 Then we came up with an impressionistic document that shocks. 46 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:26,853 Is that so? 47 00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:28,605 I don't think it so much shocks as it's honest. 48 00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:31,358 It's honest, but it's a good piece in itself. 49 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,444 So, you see, we're a little nervous about hitting you with this. 50 00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:37,155 Oh, now, they've got nothing to be nervous about. 51 00:02:37,239 --> 00:02:40,283 It's a shot in the dark, but it's strong and it's attractive. 52 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,786 It better be better than the last one, Harry. 53 00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:45,121 I think I'll loan you my sleeping pills. 54 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,415 You know, I have insomnia 55 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,169 and I stay awake all night looking at pictures, worrying about pictures. 56 00:02:51,253 --> 00:02:52,712 I walk all over the place. 57 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:53,963 Let's see it, J.P. 58 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:55,298 I'd rather hear 'em talk about it again. 59 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:58,343 - We'll talk about it later. - J.P. 60 00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:00,136 All right, Arnold. Roll it. 61 00:03:16,153 --> 00:03:19,322 You're after my money, huh? 62 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,910 You're not gonna drink this? Too bad. 63 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,912 Never let good liquor go to waste. 64 00:03:25,996 --> 00:03:28,665 ♪ Never let it go to waste Never let it... ♪ 65 00:03:28,749 --> 00:03:30,500 Ida. Ida, I adore you. 66 00:03:30,584 --> 00:03:32,585 Never let good liquor go to waste. 67 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,422 - Arrivederci! Ciao! - Go on. Beat it. 68 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:38,007 - Scusa pleasa. Bye-bye. - So long, sucker. 69 00:03:44,598 --> 00:03:47,434 I'll drive. I'll drive. Give me the keys. Give me the keys. 70 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,811 Give me the keys. I'll drive. 71 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,172 Don't make any noise, Jeannie. Here, Freddie. 72 00:04:59,256 --> 00:05:01,007 ...No, no, Freddie. 73 00:05:01,091 --> 00:05:02,675 - Drink, drink, drink. - Freddie. 74 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,261 ...Drink, drink, drink, drink. 75 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,013 - Come on. - No, I don't care if we wake 'em. 76 00:05:07,097 --> 00:05:08,223 We'll get 'em all a drink. 77 00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:11,643 Let everybody come in and have a drink. 78 00:05:26,575 --> 00:05:29,327 ♪ I got drunk tonight - Shh! 79 00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:35,041 ♪ I got drunk tonight like I never got drunk before 80 00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:38,711 ♪ When I'm drunk I'm happy as can be 81 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:42,298 ♪ I am a member of the Souse family 82 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,844 ♪ The Souse family is the best family 83 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:49,055 ♪ That ever came over from old Germany ♪ 84 00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:54,269 Oh. Oh, boy. 85 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,903 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly 86 00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:07,198 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la 87 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,994 - What are you doing? ♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly 88 00:06:11,078 --> 00:06:14,289 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la 89 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:18,585 ♪ Troll the ancient Yuletide carols 90 00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:21,004 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 91 00:06:21,088 --> 00:06:24,424 What the hell are we doing here? 92 00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:32,557 There's just... All of a sudden, 93 00:06:32,641 --> 00:06:35,602 we just joined the clan of I-don't-give-a-damners. 94 00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:37,770 Wake up and have a good time 95 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:39,397 before the bad fairy comes and makes it midnight! 96 00:06:39,481 --> 00:06:44,402 Say, listen. If there's anything I can't stand, it's a bad fairy. 97 00:06:44,486 --> 00:06:46,696 What the hell do you know about Cinderella? 98 00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:49,949 Look, now. Sit down. I wanna tell you something. 99 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,036 Just sit down. Sit down. 100 00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:58,666 Don't let this sophisticated exterior fool you. 101 00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:02,629 I believe in Aesop's Fables and Walt Disney. 102 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,422 All right, Freddie. Okay. All right. 103 00:07:04,506 --> 00:07:06,925 "All right" my left eyeball! 104 00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:10,345 We met at a bar. 105 00:07:11,138 --> 00:07:12,597 - Right, Jeannie? - Right. 106 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:16,225 And it was love at first sight. Right, Jeannie? 107 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:19,437 - Right. - We were thrown out by Morey. 108 00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:22,315 But we had laughs. 109 00:07:22,399 --> 00:07:23,650 - Right? - Right! 110 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:25,652 Shut up. Who asked ya? 111 00:07:26,278 --> 00:07:27,779 Listen. 112 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:34,535 I think Forst is a holier-than-thou. 113 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,956 - I am not. - Who asked ya? Now, cool it. 114 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,084 You go to a psychiatrist, don't you, Dickie? 115 00:07:41,168 --> 00:07:43,294 - No, I don't. - Well, you look Freudian. 116 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:46,589 - I never even met a psychiatrist. - He looks like Sigmund. 117 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:49,425 Yes, he does! 118 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:53,262 Do you know that Freud said if you go to the bathroom, it's supposed to be sexy? 119 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,893 Sick, sick, sick, sick! 120 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,191 Come on, now. Wait a minute. 121 00:08:05,275 --> 00:08:07,777 Wait a minute! What the hell are we talking about? 122 00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,404 - Who cares? - Who cares? 123 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,281 Yeah. For a minute or two we act stupid. We have a good time. 124 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:15,952 Who does it hurt? I mean, who makes up the rules anyway? 125 00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:19,455 I mean, always play it cool, always put everybody down. 126 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,000 Standing around a corner looking out the side of your eye, 127 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,376 see if anybody's lookin' at ya. 128 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:26,421 - Listen. Hell, fellas. I'm 28... Uh-oh! Uh-oh! 129 00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:30,466 I'm 23 years old, and it's time for me to forget myself, right? 130 00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,760 Right! 131 00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:36,973 - Down with the middle class! - Right. 132 00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:39,809 - Down with the white-collar workers! - Down, down, down! 133 00:08:39,893 --> 00:08:42,145 - Down, down with the... - I'll give you the swiftest pain 134 00:08:42,229 --> 00:08:43,813 in the behind that was ever invented! 135 00:08:43,897 --> 00:08:46,941 Down with the, uh, lecturers and do-gooders. 136 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,360 - You know who I hate? - Down with squealers. 137 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:53,448 - On television! - I hate cheap people. 138 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:56,117 Down with hospitals that keep people waiting until they get paid. 139 00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:57,827 - Right. - Some hospitals are okay. 140 00:08:57,911 --> 00:08:59,495 Down with hospitals! 141 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,040 - Don't bully me! - Don't bully her! 142 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:05,168 - You shut up. - Down with gossip columns! 143 00:09:05,252 --> 00:09:07,754 And to hell with politics. It stinks! 144 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,756 Kill the finks for something! 145 00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:13,843 Down with Sunday schools! 146 00:09:13,927 --> 00:09:15,470 I like Sunday schools. 147 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:18,723 Hey, I got one. 148 00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:20,391 What is it? 149 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,102 Down with friendship. I think it's phony. 150 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,480 Atta girl! 151 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,982 Oh, wait a minute. You don't know what you're talking about. 152 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:32,487 Friendship is a tradition. Friendship is useful. 153 00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,697 Dickie, I got the most terrible friends. 154 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,240 I don't care. 155 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,534 - Sometimes you need a friend. - So buy a dog! 156 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:42,038 Oh, I'm talkin' about us, stupid! Why are you so stupid? 157 00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:43,956 You know how long I've known this jerk? 158 00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:47,877 - Well, Dickie, he's just... Dickie. - No, no, no. 159 00:09:47,961 --> 00:09:49,712 I'm not one of these guys who has a few... 160 00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:52,215 - I know. Ah, he didn't mean it. - Oh. There he is. 161 00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:54,467 Come on out, and to hell with the family and responsibilities. 162 00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:55,718 That's right. 163 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:59,680 Come on. Let's ball it up, old buddy. We don't even know each other. 164 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,849 I'm talking about somebody deep down! 165 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,726 - That's right. That's right. - I'm talk... 166 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,524 He's gonna cry. Do something. Freddie! 167 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:11,442 I'm talking about something... 168 00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:17,490 Oh, Dickie, Dickie, Dickie. 169 00:10:17,574 --> 00:10:20,493 Hi, ho, Silver, away! 170 00:10:20,577 --> 00:10:23,579 Get 'em up, Scout! The Lone Ranger rides again. 171 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,707 Masked bandits. Get 'em, Tonto! 172 00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:30,878 Aaah! My hand! 173 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:34,173 Oh, and I shot your hand. That's a silver bullet. 174 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,801 Hi, ho, Silver, away! 175 00:10:36,885 --> 00:10:39,220 Hey, Jeannie. Hey, Jeannie. 176 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:43,683 Did you hear the one about the goose 177 00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:48,271 that went down into the subway and got peopled to death? 178 00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:51,440 Oh, isn't that... 179 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:54,944 Listen, do you know that Dickie and I... 180 00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:58,781 ♪ Used to do routines in college ♪ 181 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,658 Oh, boy! 182 00:11:00,742 --> 00:11:01,826 Hey, Freddie. 183 00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,786 Remember that time we auditioned for the nightclub? 184 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:07,790 Ah, it closed! Hey, Freddie, let's do one of our routines for Jeannie, eh? 185 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,001 Come on. Come on. Let's do it. 186 00:11:10,085 --> 00:11:13,004 - Well, come on! 187 00:11:13,088 --> 00:11:16,048 It wasn't funny then, buddy, and a hundred years wouldn't change it. 188 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,176 Listen, Freddie, after what I saw on television, 189 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,595 I'm not ashamed of any of our routines. 190 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,806 - Now, come on. Come on. - Come on. I do want to see it. 191 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:26,350 - Come on! - All right! Let's do it. 192 00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:30,021 - Come on, you crazy, shy son of a bitch. - Go ahead. 193 00:11:30,105 --> 00:11:31,564 Up on your feet. 194 00:11:31,648 --> 00:11:35,109 Come on. Come on! Come on! 195 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:39,155 - She doesn't want to see it. - Come on! I'll do that goddamn routine! 196 00:11:39,239 --> 00:11:42,241 - No. To hell with ya. - Come on! Hey, listen. Get this. 197 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:46,287 Ladies and gentlemen, the great Siegfried! 198 00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,915 Yay! Yay! 199 00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:52,126 Bow! Bow, will ya! Bow! 200 00:11:52,252 --> 00:11:54,128 Aw, come on, Dickie! Bow! 201 00:11:54,254 --> 00:11:56,923 Oh, phooey! Phooey, phooey, phooey! 202 00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,966 He spoiled the whole goddamn act. 203 00:11:59,092 --> 00:12:03,095 When the drum roll begins, he's supposed to bow. 204 00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:05,806 All right, you big chickens. I'll do mine. 205 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,309 - Okay, you ready? Listen. - I'm ready! 206 00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:10,061 Neither one of you's a communist, are you? 207 00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:12,230 - Well, uh... - Oh, I don't care. 208 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,440 I made this up. All right? 209 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,320 ♪ There's a 210 00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:22,740 ♪ Moscow Theatre where the Reds love to go 211 00:12:22,824 --> 00:12:26,452 ♪ To see Sonia the cutie of the burleskovitch show 212 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:29,997 ♪ All the commies love her stripping to the very last man 213 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:33,125 ♪ They claim it's even better than the Five-Year Plan 214 00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:35,169 ♪ Take it off, take it off 215 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:40,007 ♪ Take it off, take it off 216 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,302 ♪ Take it off, take it off 217 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,680 ♪ But she didn't join the fun ♪ 218 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,349 Whee! 219 00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:53,479 - Come on, Dickie. Come on. - What? 220 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,856 Now, listen. Get the picture. 221 00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,818 - Stand up there. - This is a fine... 222 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,778 This is a fine impression we'll make with the lady, huh? 223 00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:02,321 - Stand up there! - "Stand up there." 224 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,031 Listen. Get the picture. 225 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,033 - We... - Boy, this is ridiculous! 226 00:13:06,159 --> 00:13:07,994 - Look, we're gonna do it... - All right. 227 00:13:08,036 --> 00:13:09,537 ...if my heart doesn't give out. 228 00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:12,290 Are you ready? Now, get the picture. 229 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:16,544 Pinpoint spot. 230 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:19,130 - I got the picture. I got it. - Got it? 231 00:13:21,174 --> 00:13:23,884 - Achtung! - Achtung! 232 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,012 - Right turn! - Right turn! 233 00:13:26,054 --> 00:13:28,723 - Right turn! - Shoulders back! 234 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,391 - Back! 235 00:13:37,065 --> 00:13:39,191 Cut. 236 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,575 - Attention. - Attenzione! 237 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,040 Ta-da! 238 00:13:54,082 --> 00:13:57,918 And I'm supposed to act like it's all a big mistake. 239 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,506 - It's wonderful. You're wonderful. - Ooh, Jeannie. 240 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,425 You're great. 241 00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:06,761 And now... 242 00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:09,263 And now, if you'll excuse me, 243 00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:12,433 I'm going into the boudoir to change into something more comfortable. 244 00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:16,187 Don't worry. You shall feel many guilt's but remain pure. 245 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,526 Oh. My heart. 246 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,738 It's beating. 247 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:28,407 - I'm so excited. - Shit! 248 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:32,119 What are we doin' on our knees? 249 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,749 What is the matter with you? 250 00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:42,588 She's gonna change! 251 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:47,134 Ooh, Dickie. Remember when we didn't have to worry about our wives and kids? 252 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:48,928 Oh, God! 253 00:14:52,432 --> 00:14:53,891 Yeah. 254 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,487 Remember when we had our own apartment 255 00:15:06,613 --> 00:15:09,615 and all the girls would come up and see us? 256 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,492 And they'd mix drinks for us, 257 00:15:11,576 --> 00:15:13,661 and they would cook us anything we wanted, 258 00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:16,455 and then they'd give us their money and go to bed with us. 259 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,249 - Don't you remember? - It never happened. 260 00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,167 Of course it did. Don't you remember 261 00:15:20,293 --> 00:15:22,503 Connie and Julie and what the hell's her name? 262 00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:23,838 - The one with the... - I don't know. 263 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:28,426 Oh, my God, Dickie! You're getting old and grey, and I'm getting fat and grey. 264 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:33,139 What the hell's she doing in there? 265 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,768 ♪ I dream 266 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:43,441 ♪ Of Jeannie with the light brown hair 267 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:52,324 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair 268 00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:55,870 ♪ Hey, I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair, hey 269 00:15:55,996 --> 00:16:09,675 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair 270 00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:13,554 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair, hey, hey 271 00:16:13,638 --> 00:16:19,143 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair 272 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,646 ♪ Light brown hair 273 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,316 ♪ I dream of Freddie with the light brown hair 274 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,736 ♪ I dream of Jeannie 275 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,198 ♪ With the light brown hair 276 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:41,081 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the... 277 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:45,336 ♪ I dream of Dickie with the silver hair 278 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:49,048 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair 279 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:51,175 ♪ I dream of Jeannie... 280 00:16:51,259 --> 00:16:52,718 ♪ Light brown hair 281 00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,762 ♪ I dream... 282 00:16:56,556 --> 00:16:58,599 Sing it, Dickie. 283 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,393 Hey, uh... 284 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,781 ♪ I dream of Jeannie 285 00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:17,451 ♪ With the light brown hair 286 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:21,455 ♪ Borne like a vapour 287 00:17:24,459 --> 00:17:26,794 ♪ I dream 288 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:31,549 ♪ Of Jeannie with her light brown hair 289 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,100 By the way, Jeannie, what do you charge? 290 00:17:41,142 --> 00:17:45,646 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light... ♪ 291 00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,402 Oh, Freddie. 292 00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:54,446 Aw, Freddie. Aw, no, Freddie. 293 00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:57,741 Don't spoil it, Freddie. Please. 294 00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,959 Spoil what? 295 00:18:08,461 --> 00:18:10,754 Honey, I'm game for anything. 296 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:14,133 I just want to know how much you charge. 297 00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:15,926 It's legitimate, isn't it? 298 00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:18,804 I know I have to pay. 299 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,806 I'm not too schooled in these things, 300 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,349 but I know somewhere along the line, 301 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,852 your little hand's gonna find its way into my pocket. 302 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,938 You're shocked, aren't you, old Dickie, old pal? 303 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,607 What do you think she is? 304 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,692 You think she's some clean towel that's never been used? 305 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:35,529 My God, Dickie. You think you don't pay? 306 00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:39,116 How many times a week does Maria ask you for some money? 307 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,784 Money, Charlie, is a necessity. 308 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:44,872 And don't you think that you don't work for it and pay for it. 309 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:49,668 My God, wait. What is this? 310 00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:52,296 He thinks I'm insulting you. I'm offering you. 311 00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:54,214 Hell, look! 312 00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:56,717 What's the matter? 313 00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:59,887 If I went to one of those fancy restaurants, 314 00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:02,890 I'd probably tip the head waiter, the waiter, the busboy, 315 00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:05,517 and a hundred bucks goes flying down the drain. 316 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,896 And I couldn't have any more fun than I could with Jeannie here. 317 00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:11,982 - Let go of my girl. - Dickie, wait. Please. 318 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,651 Please. Please. Please. 319 00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:15,402 Don't be shocked. 320 00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:19,198 It's like this. Fred is a very sad man. 321 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,575 - Now, you... - Will you let me finish! 322 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,244 Because you're a man who doesn't say what you mean very well. 323 00:19:24,287 --> 00:19:26,121 What you meant was this was a wonderful evening, 324 00:19:26,247 --> 00:19:28,082 and you enjoy my house and you like me. 325 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,584 But like you said, you're crude. 326 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:38,884 I'm sorry. Honey, I was only tryin' to be funny. 327 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,636 I thought you said you were trying to be funny. 328 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:45,307 Well, you go with your... You go! If you're in such a damned hurry. 329 00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:47,768 My reputation's at stake here! 330 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:11,500 Good night. 331 00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:16,004 Good night, Jeannie. 332 00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:21,802 I'm sorry. 333 00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:37,151 I don't know how you do it. 334 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,988 Well, I just... 335 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:47,161 I just close my eyes and I... 336 00:20:48,955 --> 00:20:50,956 I see how much liquor I can swallow. 337 00:20:53,376 --> 00:20:57,796 I pray that I'll die and be martyred by the church 338 00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:00,007 for my service to humanity. 339 00:21:02,343 --> 00:21:04,219 You're a lovely girl. 340 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,184 I'm too old to be lovely. 341 00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,353 And I haven't got a heart of gold. 342 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,898 The nights are long, and Little Orphan Annie 343 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,859 of Hard Knoxville gets tough, you know. 344 00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:23,322 I think I'd better go. 345 00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:25,491 Then go ahead! Get the hell out! 346 00:21:25,533 --> 00:21:27,534 Beat it, snowball! 347 00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:30,162 - Right? - Right. 348 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,207 You're on your own again. 349 00:21:53,561 --> 00:21:55,354 Yeah. Uh-huh. 350 00:22:16,292 --> 00:22:17,918 Come here. 351 00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:20,420 Well, how did you find that out? 352 00:22:22,715 --> 00:22:25,759 It's very important, but I don't think there's anything you can do about it. 353 00:22:25,885 --> 00:22:28,595 - Maria, I want to talk to ya. - Mmm-hmm. 354 00:22:31,307 --> 00:22:33,600 Louise, I just came home from the office. 355 00:22:33,726 --> 00:22:37,771 Yes, I had a very hard day and something important came up. 356 00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:40,107 Can she call you back later? 357 00:22:50,076 --> 00:22:51,493 Yeah? 358 00:23:04,507 --> 00:23:07,467 Louise, we'll call you back later. Goodbye. 359 00:23:08,636 --> 00:23:11,138 I'm gonna have a drink. You kill me. 360 00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:14,141 - Yeah? Why do I kill ya? 361 00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:16,143 Why do I kill ya? 362 00:23:23,818 --> 00:23:26,028 Why do I kill ya, huh? 363 00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:28,113 Why? What do you want to drink? 364 00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:30,782 Whatever it is, I want it on the rocks, straight and dirty, 365 00:23:30,825 --> 00:23:33,452 because I feel very, very bitchy tonight. 366 00:23:33,494 --> 00:23:36,705 Well, I feel very, very bitchy, too. That makes two of us. 367 00:23:36,831 --> 00:23:38,332 Blue Monday for me today. 368 00:23:38,374 --> 00:23:42,169 All day the phone rang and rang. "Hello, Maria?" "Goodbye, Maria." 369 00:23:42,211 --> 00:23:46,214 - "Hello, darling." "Goodbye, darling." - Hello, darling. 370 00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:48,717 Your sense of humour's going to destroy our marriage someday. 371 00:23:48,843 --> 00:23:50,302 I wasn't trying to be funny. 372 00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:54,056 Listen, Maria, go get me a cigarette, will ya? 373 00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:56,850 Ooh, we're out! I'm sorry. I smoked myself silly today. 374 00:23:56,893 --> 00:24:00,020 - You're such a conformist. - Like hell I am! 375 00:24:00,146 --> 00:24:03,357 Dickie, why don't you take me to a movie, okay? 376 00:24:03,399 --> 00:24:05,525 Why doesn't somebody fill these stupid boxes? 377 00:24:05,568 --> 00:24:07,027 You smoke too much. 378 00:24:07,153 --> 00:24:09,237 There's a Bergman film in the neighbourhood. 379 00:24:09,364 --> 00:24:11,698 I don't feel like getting depressed tonight. 380 00:24:12,867 --> 00:24:15,369 But you always love foreign film. 381 00:24:16,412 --> 00:24:19,581 - Where the hell are the cigarettes? - We're out! 382 00:24:19,707 --> 00:24:24,336 - What are you getting so huffy about? - There's nothing on television tonight. 383 00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:27,047 If I had a cigarette, I could think. 384 00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:31,093 - You're hungry. - Right! 385 00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:32,928 But you're always hungry. 386 00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:36,264 That's because I always come home at dinner time. 387 00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:41,019 Oh, I love you when you look like that. 388 00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:44,690 Look like what? Tell me quick, and I'll write it down. 389 00:24:45,441 --> 00:24:49,027 - You wanna fight, huh? - Yeah, I wanna fight. 390 00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:51,530 Smug. I knew it the first time I looked at you. 391 00:24:51,572 --> 00:24:53,573 - The better-than-you expression. - That's right. 392 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:55,909 I'm the pompous puke of all times. 393 00:24:55,952 --> 00:24:58,578 Yeah, and you smell like a brewery, too. 394 00:24:58,621 --> 00:25:01,081 And I smell like a brewery, too. 395 00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:13,051 And you'll take me to a movie show? 396 00:25:13,094 --> 00:25:15,762 I'll take you 397 00:25:16,389 --> 00:25:19,725 any place that your little heart desires 398 00:25:20,476 --> 00:25:26,398 if you'll just keep that lovely mouth of yours closed for a couple of seconds. 399 00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:28,442 I have a lovely dinner for you. 400 00:25:28,568 --> 00:25:32,654 Come on. Take off your coat and stay a while, bright eyes. 401 00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:34,906 Well, that sounds like some kind of a proposition. 402 00:25:34,949 --> 00:25:36,450 Oh, Dickie, you're so innocent, 403 00:25:36,492 --> 00:25:38,452 it's hard to get through to you sometimes. 404 00:25:38,578 --> 00:25:40,579 Oh, really? 405 00:25:53,634 --> 00:25:55,802 - No place like home. - What? 406 00:25:58,097 --> 00:26:01,016 - I said have you ever been to Rome? - Italy? 407 00:26:01,350 --> 00:26:04,644 I love you. 408 00:26:04,687 --> 00:26:07,105 But you always love me when I bring food. 409 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:10,609 - Well, that's because I'm a glutton. - Were you with Fred tonight? 410 00:26:10,651 --> 00:26:13,779 - Yeah. - I think he's a terrible father. 411 00:26:13,821 --> 00:26:16,948 He never talks to the kids or plays with 'em. 412 00:26:18,451 --> 00:26:20,160 The kids are grown up. 413 00:26:20,286 --> 00:26:22,496 Nineteen isn't grown. 414 00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:27,334 I don't like Fred any more. 415 00:26:27,835 --> 00:26:30,003 - Well, why don't you like Fred any more? - Because 416 00:26:31,964 --> 00:26:34,382 he cheats on his wife. 417 00:26:39,472 --> 00:26:42,224 - Now, who told you that? - Louise. 418 00:26:43,893 --> 00:26:45,894 Oh, Louise. 419 00:26:46,562 --> 00:26:49,481 - Oh. - Fred talks in his sleep. 420 00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:54,194 He comes home at night and he just stares at her. Doesn't say a word. 421 00:26:54,237 --> 00:26:56,822 They have a drink. Silence. 422 00:26:57,156 --> 00:27:00,158 - They eat, they say nothing. - Salt and pepper, please. 423 00:27:00,201 --> 00:27:03,036 They get into bed and they say nothing. 424 00:27:04,038 --> 00:27:06,873 And I forgot, he just barely looks at the kids, 425 00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:09,709 and Louise says that it's because of that. 426 00:27:11,295 --> 00:27:12,754 Because of what? 427 00:27:13,464 --> 00:27:16,883 Well, she reads, and he just rolls over and goes to sleep 428 00:27:16,926 --> 00:27:19,261 and talks to all these different girls. 429 00:27:19,387 --> 00:27:23,223 And Louise says that they have to be in compromising positions. 430 00:27:26,769 --> 00:27:28,728 Good old Freddie. 431 00:27:38,573 --> 00:27:40,907 He says things like... 432 00:27:40,950 --> 00:27:43,743 - Like, "Roll over". 433 00:27:44,495 --> 00:27:46,955 "Let's try that again." Yeah. 434 00:27:48,082 --> 00:27:49,499 Things like that. 435 00:27:50,293 --> 00:27:51,751 Things like that, huh? 436 00:27:52,295 --> 00:27:54,504 And do you know what he did with... 437 00:27:54,589 --> 00:27:57,299 Do you know what he did with Darlene? 438 00:27:57,425 --> 00:28:00,135 Darlene? Who the hell's Darlene? 439 00:28:00,261 --> 00:28:02,512 The girl in his dream. 440 00:28:07,935 --> 00:28:10,270 Well, what did he do with Darlene? 441 00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:13,648 You ain't gonna tell me? 442 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,444 He kiss... He kisses her. 443 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,656 You know. 444 00:28:30,791 --> 00:28:33,835 You mean, he goes... 445 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:45,513 You... You mean he goes... 446 00:28:52,146 --> 00:28:54,481 - Bad! 447 00:28:55,399 --> 00:28:58,068 - Is that what you mean? - No. 448 00:29:03,658 --> 00:29:05,659 - No. 449 00:29:06,744 --> 00:29:09,204 - I... Yes, but... 450 00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:17,379 He says for her to do it to him. 451 00:29:18,589 --> 00:29:20,924 - That's funny. - When he gets... 452 00:29:23,552 --> 00:29:26,680 - Well... - Well, that's what he said. 453 00:29:26,722 --> 00:29:30,850 Yeah, well, you know, Freddie's getting on in years. 454 00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:33,061 And a man Freddie's age... 455 00:29:33,187 --> 00:29:35,188 You're Fred's age! 456 00:29:36,607 --> 00:29:40,527 Yeah, but sexual nightmares are not one of my problems. 457 00:29:40,611 --> 00:29:45,031 Besides, what the hell has that got to do with Fred being a good father? 458 00:29:48,619 --> 00:29:50,120 Well, I... 459 00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:55,542 I'm sorry I talk too much. 460 00:29:55,876 --> 00:30:00,547 Well, you know, Fred puts up with his kids' asinine friends. 461 00:30:01,048 --> 00:30:02,590 - You know that? - I... 462 00:30:02,717 --> 00:30:05,218 His kids wanna drink, he lets 'em drink. 463 00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:07,053 They want to smoke, he lets them smoke. 464 00:30:07,138 --> 00:30:10,557 He... Well, he sends the sons of bitches to college. 465 00:30:10,641 --> 00:30:13,143 They each have their own cars, you know. 466 00:30:13,227 --> 00:30:17,105 And he gives them 50 bucks a week spending money. 467 00:30:17,231 --> 00:30:19,065 Can you imagine that? 468 00:30:19,775 --> 00:30:22,110 And his daughter is beautiful. 469 00:30:22,236 --> 00:30:25,989 His son is a big 6'3" hunk of man, 470 00:30:26,073 --> 00:30:27,782 and the girls think he's cute. 471 00:30:27,908 --> 00:30:32,412 And he's got Simon, a 1-year-old baby. 472 00:30:32,663 --> 00:30:35,790 I wish I was that kind of a father. 473 00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:38,626 Well, we weren't discussing that part of it anyway. 474 00:30:38,753 --> 00:30:42,297 I'm talking about it from a woman's point of view. 475 00:30:43,924 --> 00:30:47,427 - A woman's point of... 476 00:30:48,637 --> 00:30:52,349 A woman's point of view. Oh, God. 477 00:30:52,433 --> 00:30:55,268 I can't go to the goddamn movie with you. 478 00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:58,688 Jesus Christ Almighty. Oh, boy. 479 00:31:01,776 --> 00:31:04,361 I can... I can see it all now. 480 00:31:06,447 --> 00:31:09,657 Boy. You know, one of these days, 481 00:31:09,784 --> 00:31:12,285 you girls are gonna go, "Charge!" 482 00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:15,497 And you know somethin' funny? 483 00:31:17,458 --> 00:31:20,293 We'll all surrender, and you can have everything. 484 00:31:20,336 --> 00:31:23,963 You can have the house and the cars and the office 485 00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:26,466 and the bills and the headaches, 486 00:31:27,510 --> 00:31:30,303 and we'll sit home and laugh! 487 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:32,806 That's what we're gonna do. 488 00:31:34,642 --> 00:31:37,352 All we ask for is peace. 489 00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:41,815 To give us our daily beating and three square meals a day and bread and water 490 00:31:41,857 --> 00:31:44,317 and we'll just sit staring at the sun, 491 00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:46,152 going blind, okay? 492 00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:49,656 Oh, I'm so sorry. Do we emasculate you? 493 00:31:49,698 --> 00:31:52,158 Poor little boy losing his virility. 494 00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:54,577 Well, I don't have it any more! 495 00:31:55,996 --> 00:31:59,499 - What happened to it, huh? - I just don't appeal to you. 496 00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:01,835 Oh, you appeal to me all right. 497 00:32:01,877 --> 00:32:04,003 When I come home, you appeal to me. 498 00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:06,005 When I'm at the office, you appeal to me. 499 00:32:06,048 --> 00:32:08,049 I am not a sex machine! 500 00:32:08,175 --> 00:32:11,177 - No, you want to go to the movies! - Because I'm bored. 501 00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:13,346 That's how you get your jollies! 502 00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:16,015 - Don't be crude! - Crude, schmude. I'm crude! 503 00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:18,101 The minute you get home, you wanna jump into bed. 504 00:32:18,185 --> 00:32:20,353 That's the general idea. 505 00:33:00,561 --> 00:33:05,315 Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Huh? 506 00:33:05,399 --> 00:33:07,901 He wanted to see time fly. 507 00:33:15,075 --> 00:33:18,745 What does Dracula do every night at midnight? 508 00:33:18,787 --> 00:33:21,247 He takes a coffin break! 509 00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:26,586 What is it that's blue and whistles 510 00:33:26,629 --> 00:33:30,590 and hangs in a delicatessen? 511 00:33:38,098 --> 00:33:42,852 Aren't you gonna say, "But a herring doesn't whistle"? 512 00:33:42,937 --> 00:33:45,480 Huh? Aren't you gonna say, "But a herring isn't blue"? 513 00:33:45,606 --> 00:33:48,483 You're not gonna say that? How can I get to the joke? 514 00:33:54,114 --> 00:33:59,786 What is it that weighs 5,000 pounds and has got a stick through it? 515 00:34:02,331 --> 00:34:04,541 A hippo-Popsicle. 516 00:34:10,297 --> 00:34:15,009 What is it that's black and white and red all over? 517 00:34:15,135 --> 00:34:18,137 - A newspaper. - No. A zebra's ass. 518 00:34:31,652 --> 00:34:33,987 You don't think I'm very funny, do ya, huh? 519 00:34:34,071 --> 00:34:36,489 Of course I think you're funny. 520 00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:39,867 Well, I could... I could be funnier, you know. 521 00:34:39,952 --> 00:34:41,578 I really could. 522 00:34:41,662 --> 00:34:45,456 - If I tried a little harder. - Maybe you're not all that funny. 523 00:34:49,962 --> 00:34:53,464 Good night. 524 00:35:57,905 --> 00:36:00,281 - Dickie, I'm sorry. - I want a divorce. 525 00:36:17,257 --> 00:36:20,426 - Did you hear what I said? - Oh, Dickie. 526 00:36:23,639 --> 00:36:25,515 I want a divorce. 527 00:36:27,434 --> 00:36:30,186 That's the only thing to do, isn't it? 528 00:36:35,484 --> 00:36:37,610 Well, why don't you laugh? 529 00:36:38,612 --> 00:36:40,405 It's funny. 530 00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:46,494 Well, what's your answer? 531 00:36:47,871 --> 00:36:49,622 Answer me! 532 00:37:32,082 --> 00:37:33,666 Hello, Jeannie? 533 00:37:35,669 --> 00:37:37,920 Hold on a minute. 534 00:37:39,339 --> 00:37:43,301 I'll send for my clothes in the morning. I'm not coming back. 535 00:37:46,722 --> 00:37:48,431 I'm on the phone. 536 00:37:55,481 --> 00:37:57,982 This is Richard Forst. Hi. 537 00:37:59,109 --> 00:38:01,360 I'd like to see you tonight. 538 00:38:01,987 --> 00:38:04,113 Well, it's very important. 539 00:38:04,907 --> 00:38:06,908 Well, how busy are you? 540 00:38:10,537 --> 00:38:13,456 Well, I could meet you at the Losers Club. 541 00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:15,583 Twenty, thirty minutes. 542 00:38:16,835 --> 00:38:18,920 Take as long as you like. 543 00:38:19,922 --> 00:38:21,380 Fine. 544 00:38:22,883 --> 00:38:25,176 I'll see you later. 545 00:38:44,947 --> 00:38:48,783 ♪ Wars have come and wars have gone 546 00:38:48,867 --> 00:38:52,119 ♪ History, it goes on and on 547 00:38:52,204 --> 00:38:55,122 ♪ Ever since this world began 548 00:38:55,207 --> 00:38:58,584 ♪ Love not war has conquered man 549 00:38:58,669 --> 00:39:02,630 ♪ Caesar tried to gain control 550 00:39:02,714 --> 00:39:05,466 ♪ Through his wealth and through his gold 551 00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:08,845 ♪ Yeah, then Cleo played her hand 552 00:39:08,929 --> 00:39:12,306 ♪ And love conquered just as planned 553 00:39:12,391 --> 00:39:15,726 ♪ Henry Windsor went to eight 554 00:39:15,811 --> 00:39:19,105 ♪ He knew how to celebrate 555 00:39:19,189 --> 00:39:22,525 ♪ But when he reached for nine and 10 556 00:39:22,609 --> 00:39:25,528 ♪ Love not war then conquered him 557 00:39:25,612 --> 00:39:29,407 ♪ Give up, you're through 558 00:39:29,491 --> 00:39:31,492 ♪ You'll never get away from it 559 00:39:31,577 --> 00:39:35,121 ♪ Why try, I'm telling you 560 00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:40,251 ♪ This lovin' stuff is here with us till the day we die 561 00:39:40,335 --> 00:39:43,379 ♪ Stonewall Jackson played it rough 562 00:39:43,463 --> 00:39:46,257 ♪ Love to him was kiddie stuff 563 00:39:46,341 --> 00:39:49,927 ♪ Yeah, but Stoney swore that he'd never fall 564 00:39:50,012 --> 00:39:52,889 ♪ But love cracked that old Stonewall 565 00:39:52,973 --> 00:39:56,684 ♪ Give up, you're through 566 00:39:56,768 --> 00:39:58,769 ♪ You'll never get away from it 567 00:39:58,854 --> 00:40:03,399 ♪ Why try, I'm telling you 568 00:40:03,483 --> 00:40:07,737 ♪ This lovin' stuff is here with us till the day we die 569 00:40:07,821 --> 00:40:10,406 ♪ We're 570 00:40:10,490 --> 00:40:14,577 ♪ Talking to you, friends 571 00:40:14,661 --> 00:40:19,165 ♪ Love's goin' to get you 572 00:40:19,249 --> 00:40:21,459 ♪ In the end 573 00:40:21,543 --> 00:40:24,921 ♪ It's all part of nature's plan 574 00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:28,341 ♪ Love will always conquer man 575 00:40:28,425 --> 00:40:31,886 ♪ Love will always conquer man 576 00:40:31,970 --> 00:40:36,474 ♪ Love ♪ 577 00:40:50,948 --> 00:40:52,823 If you think I look like silly in this outfit, 578 00:40:52,908 --> 00:40:55,076 you oughta see me in a bathing suit. 579 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,286 I look like a pair of pliers with a Band-Aid on. 580 00:40:59,998 --> 00:41:02,416 I'm in such bad shape. 581 00:41:02,501 --> 00:41:05,586 - I really am. 582 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,589 I got a frog in my throat. 583 00:41:08,674 --> 00:41:11,634 First meat that's passed that way in an hour. 584 00:41:16,598 --> 00:41:18,849 I just wanted you to see my suit. 585 00:41:18,934 --> 00:41:21,769 Seersucker. Sears made it, and you're lookin' at the sucker that bought it. 586 00:41:26,692 --> 00:41:29,485 On top of that, I'm so flat-footed, when I get out of the bathtub, 587 00:41:29,569 --> 00:41:32,738 somebody has to rock me back and forth to break the suction. 588 00:41:38,370 --> 00:41:41,872 But, uh, the postman came with a letter 589 00:41:41,957 --> 00:41:46,043 and told me that the Great Society was having a war on poverty. 590 00:41:46,712 --> 00:41:50,256 So, uh, I told him if that was true, I wanted to be the first to surrender. 591 00:42:17,576 --> 00:42:20,161 There once was a girl from... 592 00:42:20,245 --> 00:42:22,329 ...who played the violin. 593 00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:25,458 Uh, she tucked it under her chin. 594 00:42:25,542 --> 00:42:28,419 She plucked at her strings... 595 00:42:28,503 --> 00:42:30,004 Like angel wings. 596 00:42:30,088 --> 00:42:34,341 She plucked at her strings, among numerous things, 597 00:42:34,426 --> 00:42:35,885 and tucked it under her chin. 598 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,777 - Well, Mr McCarthy. - Jim. 599 00:42:53,612 --> 00:42:55,529 Jamie McCarthy. 600 00:42:55,614 --> 00:42:58,324 - Jamie. - Oh, that's a fine name. Fine. 601 00:42:58,408 --> 00:43:01,577 - My mother used to call me Jamie. - Did she now? 602 00:43:01,661 --> 00:43:03,537 Say, how would you like to call me Mother? 603 00:43:03,622 --> 00:43:05,331 Come on, will ya? 604 00:43:05,749 --> 00:43:08,292 I'm old enough to be your father. 605 00:43:08,376 --> 00:43:10,211 Listen. Listen. 606 00:43:10,295 --> 00:43:12,171 In that case, I'd like some fatherly advice. 607 00:43:12,255 --> 00:43:14,298 - All right. - I have a terrible problem. 608 00:43:14,382 --> 00:43:16,008 What's your problem, daughter? 609 00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:18,677 - Well, this fellow, a friend... - Mmm-hmm. 610 00:43:18,762 --> 00:43:21,430 ...an Irish friend, he just called me from the bar, 611 00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:24,600 and he's in terrible trouble and wants me to come rescue him. 612 00:43:24,684 --> 00:43:27,520 - What do you think of that? - What do you think of it? 613 00:43:27,604 --> 00:43:30,231 Well, I'm asking for your advice. You're the wise one. 614 00:43:30,315 --> 00:43:33,150 Be a hero. Tell me. Come on. 615 00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:36,737 - Hey, Jackson. - Yo. 616 00:43:36,822 --> 00:43:38,906 ...Hey, Jackson. 617 00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:45,454 Remember the time we went to New Orleans on a bet? 618 00:43:46,665 --> 00:43:48,249 Yes, sir, I do. 619 00:43:49,209 --> 00:43:52,419 We stayed up all night screaming at the top of our lungs. 620 00:43:52,504 --> 00:43:54,421 We had a... 621 00:43:54,506 --> 00:43:56,340 We had a... My nose itches. 622 00:43:56,424 --> 00:43:58,300 - We had a... - Going to kiss a fool? 623 00:43:58,385 --> 00:44:00,052 Yeah, I know. 624 00:44:01,555 --> 00:44:04,849 We had a couple bimbos. No, actually, they were very nice girls. 625 00:44:05,392 --> 00:44:08,102 - They reminded me a lot of you two. - Oh. 626 00:44:08,186 --> 00:44:10,729 But they knew more dirty limericks than you could shake a stick at. 627 00:44:10,814 --> 00:44:11,897 How nice. 628 00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:14,650 Well, I knew a guy who used to make them up and sell them. 629 00:44:14,734 --> 00:44:17,444 Really? He must have been an ex-convict. 630 00:44:17,529 --> 00:44:20,072 - That's right. Don't look so wide-eyed. - I'm not wide-eyed. 631 00:44:20,157 --> 00:44:22,324 Do you realise that ex-convicts and jailbirds 632 00:44:22,409 --> 00:44:24,285 are the ones that write all the limericks? 633 00:44:24,369 --> 00:44:25,870 Not all of them. 634 00:44:25,954 --> 00:44:28,330 Oh, don't argue with Mr McCarthy, miss. 635 00:44:28,415 --> 00:44:31,834 Jimmy Arno, he wrote a couple that were really funny. Didn't he, Jeannie? 636 00:44:31,918 --> 00:44:33,460 - That's right. He did. - Jimmy Arno? 637 00:44:33,545 --> 00:44:37,256 - Mmm-hmm. - Jimmy Arno? Not the Jimmy Arno. 638 00:44:37,340 --> 00:44:39,341 - Do you know him? - Never heard of him. 639 00:44:48,935 --> 00:44:50,978 Aw, come on, now. 640 00:44:51,062 --> 00:44:53,397 What the hell do we care about two whores? 641 00:44:53,481 --> 00:44:55,691 - You better watch... - Wait a minute! 642 00:44:55,775 --> 00:44:58,152 - Two whores! - I don't want you around! 643 00:44:58,236 --> 00:44:59,486 Come on. Come on. 644 00:44:59,571 --> 00:45:01,572 - You don't want us around? - That's right. 645 00:45:01,656 --> 00:45:04,700 Look who's saying she doesn't want us around! 646 00:45:04,784 --> 00:45:08,913 - You're coming on awfully strong. - Just who in the hell are you, huh? 647 00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:10,915 Just who in the hell are you? 648 00:45:10,999 --> 00:45:13,125 Wait a minute. Take it easy. What's the matter with you? 649 00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:14,960 Why be so violent? 650 00:45:15,670 --> 00:45:19,590 Take it easy. Just relax. Wait a minute, Jeannie. Wait, Jeannie. 651 00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:35,439 I'm sorry. 652 00:45:37,067 --> 00:45:39,068 Can I have a cigarette? 653 00:45:42,030 --> 00:45:43,572 Let me close this door. 654 00:45:46,743 --> 00:45:49,286 All right. I won't close the door. 655 00:45:54,668 --> 00:45:56,543 Ah, boy, what a life! 656 00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:03,300 Ah, what's the matter, Jeannie? Don't you like me? Hmm? 657 00:46:04,344 --> 00:46:06,804 Why not? Come on. I can take criticism. 658 00:46:07,722 --> 00:46:10,516 Hmm? What's the matter with me? 659 00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:13,519 You don't want me to be crude? All right, I won't be crude. 660 00:46:17,023 --> 00:46:19,608 Jeannie... Jeannie, I'm a nice guy. 661 00:46:20,402 --> 00:46:22,778 Would you think that I weigh 190 pounds? Huh? 662 00:46:25,365 --> 00:46:26,824 You're married. 663 00:46:27,617 --> 00:46:29,743 Oh, Jeannie, am I married. 664 00:46:30,912 --> 00:46:32,496 Yeah, I'm married. 665 00:46:33,248 --> 00:46:35,749 I got a son almost as old as you. 666 00:46:36,835 --> 00:46:38,711 He thinks he's a grown man. 667 00:46:38,795 --> 00:46:40,587 He goes to college. 668 00:46:41,131 --> 00:46:44,258 I wanted him to go to one of those Midwestern schools and play football, 669 00:46:44,342 --> 00:46:45,801 but his mother said, "No. No football". 670 00:46:45,885 --> 00:46:49,054 So he said, "All right. What the hell. Okay, no football". 671 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:51,557 So instead he goes to Dartmouth. 672 00:46:52,058 --> 00:46:53,559 Goes out for tennis instead. 673 00:46:53,643 --> 00:46:56,603 All day long he walks around in tennis shoes. 674 00:46:56,688 --> 00:46:58,522 What kind of a thing is that for a grown boy 675 00:46:58,606 --> 00:47:01,358 to walk around in tennis shoes all day long? 676 00:47:01,443 --> 00:47:03,110 What the hell. He's my son. 677 00:47:03,194 --> 00:47:06,447 Even if he wants to nance around, I say, "So what?" 678 00:47:06,531 --> 00:47:09,616 Everybody's gotta lead their own life, right? 679 00:47:10,827 --> 00:47:13,620 So, he goes out for swimming and track, 680 00:47:16,458 --> 00:47:18,459 and wears tennis shoes. 681 00:47:22,714 --> 00:47:27,468 Jeannie, do you know what it is to be a promo man in a firm like mine, huh? 682 00:47:27,802 --> 00:47:29,303 I'll tell ya. 683 00:47:29,971 --> 00:47:32,389 You meet more millionaires and more presidents 684 00:47:32,474 --> 00:47:34,641 than you dream could exist. 685 00:47:36,519 --> 00:47:38,437 And that seems like a big thing to you, huh? 686 00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:44,818 So, what have I got after all those years? 687 00:47:45,570 --> 00:47:48,655 A big house, a kooky wife and a kid who wears sneakers. 688 00:48:13,348 --> 00:48:16,975 Hey, Jeannie baby! Hey. You're all right, Jeannie baby! 689 00:48:19,270 --> 00:48:21,230 Whoo! 690 00:48:21,314 --> 00:48:23,816 Hey. Turn out these lights, will ya? 691 00:48:23,900 --> 00:48:26,443 Looks like an office in here. 692 00:48:26,528 --> 00:48:28,529 How do you expect to make out with all these lights on? 693 00:48:28,613 --> 00:48:31,073 What do you say, Slick? 694 00:48:37,705 --> 00:48:40,457 Hey. You know what? You've got quite a tummy. 695 00:48:40,542 --> 00:48:42,334 You've got... Hasn't he got a... Huh? 696 00:48:42,419 --> 00:48:44,503 Hey, how about a little kiss for my buddy? 697 00:48:44,587 --> 00:48:46,296 How about a... Ooh! 698 00:48:48,883 --> 00:48:51,093 Stay. Have a good time. Stella, lock up when you go. 699 00:48:51,177 --> 00:48:52,761 Wait a minute. Where you goin'? Hold on! 700 00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:55,472 - Leave me alone. - Will you leave her alone! 701 00:48:55,557 --> 00:48:57,433 Just get out of here! 702 00:49:06,943 --> 00:49:09,862 Now, what are you makin' a scene for? Huh? 703 00:49:11,364 --> 00:49:13,615 - Come on. Give me a break. - Give you a break? 704 00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:16,452 Why? You think you deserve a break? 705 00:49:18,079 --> 00:49:21,331 - Look, I met this guy. - You met this guy. So? 706 00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:24,042 - Leave her alone. - Ah, shut up! Will you sit down? 707 00:49:24,127 --> 00:49:27,671 So you met this guy. Go ahead. So you met this guy. What about him? 708 00:49:27,755 --> 00:49:29,590 You in love with this guy? You hate this guy? 709 00:49:29,674 --> 00:49:31,258 - You went to college with this guy? - No. 710 00:49:32,260 --> 00:49:34,595 Come on. Don't do this. Don't. 711 00:49:37,807 --> 00:49:39,850 All right. Come on, will ya? 712 00:49:39,934 --> 00:49:41,602 Cut it out. 713 00:49:50,111 --> 00:49:51,904 You son of a bitch! 714 00:49:57,076 --> 00:50:00,204 There's this joke about the Siamese twins. 715 00:50:00,246 --> 00:50:01,747 What? 716 00:50:01,831 --> 00:50:05,000 Have you ever heard that old belly-twister, uh, 717 00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:07,920 about the Siamese twins? 718 00:50:08,046 --> 00:50:09,755 - No. 719 00:50:10,507 --> 00:50:13,342 One is named June and the other July. 720 00:50:13,426 --> 00:50:16,178 - Is that a real one? - Oh, no, no, no. 721 00:50:16,262 --> 00:50:18,388 Let me light that for you. 722 00:50:19,849 --> 00:50:21,266 Thank you. 723 00:50:21,935 --> 00:50:23,894 Oh, boy, women. 724 00:50:23,937 --> 00:50:26,855 If I live to be a million, I'll never understand 'em. 725 00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,398 Crazy broads. 726 00:50:28,441 --> 00:50:31,068 Aw, shoot, now. 727 00:50:31,110 --> 00:50:32,778 Come on over here, huh? 728 00:50:33,279 --> 00:50:35,697 Come on. Will ya? 729 00:50:35,782 --> 00:50:37,366 Come on. 730 00:50:38,034 --> 00:50:40,285 Come on, you son of a gun. 731 00:50:40,370 --> 00:50:43,372 Come on, now. Come on. 732 00:50:43,456 --> 00:50:45,582 Come on. Ooh, you. 733 00:50:46,376 --> 00:50:48,794 Come on! 734 00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:50,379 You know you're nuts? 735 00:50:50,463 --> 00:50:53,465 - You know that, don't you? 736 00:51:10,066 --> 00:51:12,317 No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't go away. 737 00:51:12,443 --> 00:51:14,778 Come on in. Join the party. 738 00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:17,114 There's been a lot of controversy over you tonight. 739 00:51:17,156 --> 00:51:19,324 Oh, no, there hasn't been any controversy. 740 00:51:19,409 --> 00:51:20,826 Sure there has. 741 00:51:20,952 --> 00:51:23,161 - You're the one in the bar, right? - That's right. 742 00:51:23,288 --> 00:51:25,664 - Been waitin' a couple of hours? - That's right. 743 00:51:25,790 --> 00:51:27,499 Well, then, come on, take your coat off. 744 00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:29,084 - Relax, join the party. - Hey, stop that. 745 00:51:29,168 --> 00:51:30,669 Okay. Come on. Sit down. Sit down. 746 00:51:30,753 --> 00:51:33,422 We'll just have a couple drinks, then we'll get out of here, huh? 747 00:51:33,506 --> 00:51:35,340 You don't mind, do ya? 748 00:51:35,425 --> 00:51:38,802 - What's your name, by the way? - Richard. 749 00:51:38,845 --> 00:51:41,930 Well, Richard, Richard. Atta boy. That's a nice name, Richard. 750 00:51:42,015 --> 00:51:46,351 Isn't that a nice name, Jackson? Hey, Richard. Richard. Richard! 751 00:51:46,477 --> 00:51:48,645 I'm talkin' to you, boy. Come on. Pay attention. Let's go. 752 00:51:48,688 --> 00:51:52,024 I'm Jim, that's Joe and, uh, Stella I suppose you know. 753 00:51:52,275 --> 00:51:55,027 Hey, what do you do, Richard? 754 00:51:55,695 --> 00:51:57,321 I'm a businessman. 755 00:51:57,363 --> 00:51:59,865 - Insurance, huh? - That's right. 756 00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,702 At least he's not a fag, huh, Jeannie? 757 00:52:05,705 --> 00:52:08,040 - Well, maybe I am. 758 00:52:08,124 --> 00:52:10,542 The boy Richard is all right. Your friend Richard... 759 00:52:10,627 --> 00:52:13,295 He's got spirit, hasn't he, Jim? 760 00:52:13,379 --> 00:52:15,213 Listen, now that we're through with basic training, 761 00:52:15,298 --> 00:52:18,717 can we knock off the grade school theatrics? Jeannie, I... 762 00:52:18,801 --> 00:52:22,054 ♪ I used to work in Chicago in a department store 763 00:52:22,138 --> 00:52:25,724 ♪ I used to work in Chicago I do but I don't any more 764 00:52:25,808 --> 00:52:29,019 ♪ A lady came in, she asked for a whoop What kind of whoop said I 765 00:52:29,395 --> 00:52:33,231 ♪ Whoop she said, whoop I said I did but I don't any more ♪ 766 00:52:35,735 --> 00:52:38,320 Richard, you don't know a goddamn thing about women, do ya? 767 00:52:38,404 --> 00:52:41,073 You know that women are basically all whores? Did you know that? 768 00:52:45,078 --> 00:52:46,536 I'm sorry. 769 00:52:49,415 --> 00:52:51,500 Excuse me, Jeannie. 770 00:52:55,254 --> 00:52:57,255 You're married, right? Wouldn't you say he's married, Jackson? 771 00:52:57,340 --> 00:52:59,508 - Oh, yeah, he's married. - Very much so. 772 00:52:59,592 --> 00:53:01,343 Forty-eight, unhappy as hell. 773 00:53:01,427 --> 00:53:05,263 Uh-huh. Separated, out for a good time. Out for a good time! 774 00:53:05,390 --> 00:53:08,392 Lookin' for a little momentary relationship. 775 00:53:10,186 --> 00:53:12,270 Who the hell are you guys? 776 00:53:14,190 --> 00:53:16,441 Oh, didn't we tell ya, Richard? We're the police. 777 00:53:16,526 --> 00:53:18,944 - Oh, yeah, we're the vice squad. - Vice squad! 778 00:53:19,028 --> 00:53:21,238 They're not. They're just kidding. 779 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:26,868 So, look, you run along home, sonny boy, and play with your own. 780 00:53:27,954 --> 00:53:32,040 Joe is Joe Jackson. Jim is Jim McCarthy. 781 00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:34,710 He's vice president of Metal... 782 00:53:34,794 --> 00:53:39,131 Industries of the Pacific West Coast and affiliate companies. 783 00:53:39,257 --> 00:53:40,716 Jackson's supposed to mix the drinks, right? 784 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:42,634 - Right. - Jackson. 785 00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:45,303 - Get me a double-double scotch. - Straight? 786 00:53:45,388 --> 00:53:48,557 - No soda and no ice. - No soda, no ice. 787 00:53:48,641 --> 00:53:51,643 Neat, clean, straight down the line, huh? 788 00:53:54,105 --> 00:53:55,647 Dickie, why don't you go? 789 00:53:58,443 --> 00:54:00,485 What do I do now? 790 00:54:00,570 --> 00:54:02,279 Take my coat off? 791 00:54:02,655 --> 00:54:06,158 What you want me to do? Take my coat off? All right. 792 00:54:07,326 --> 00:54:09,411 - All right. Step outside. - No. 793 00:54:09,495 --> 00:54:10,579 What do you mean, "No"? 794 00:54:10,663 --> 00:54:12,497 If you think I'm gonna fight in the dark, you're crazy. 795 00:54:12,623 --> 00:54:14,499 - We can't fight in Miss Rapp's house. - Why not? 796 00:54:14,584 --> 00:54:17,335 Why not? Look, McCarthy, why don't you just get out of here? 797 00:54:17,462 --> 00:54:19,087 Nobody wants you around. 798 00:54:19,172 --> 00:54:21,256 - Oh, nobody wants me around, huh? - Right. 799 00:54:21,340 --> 00:54:24,468 A little while ago, you almost fainted when I offered you 200 bucks. 800 00:54:24,510 --> 00:54:26,094 - Oh! - Two hundred bucks. Who needs ya! 801 00:54:26,179 --> 00:54:27,637 You're not even pretty! 802 00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,348 - I hope he knocks you on your fat prat! - Take it easy, Jeannie. 803 00:54:30,475 --> 00:54:32,434 - You wanna fight or not? - You wanna go through with it? 804 00:54:32,518 --> 00:54:34,352 What are you, yellow? 805 00:54:39,317 --> 00:54:41,693 Oh, now you did it! Now you did it! 806 00:54:41,819 --> 00:54:44,529 Now your head's gonna leave your body. 807 00:54:44,655 --> 00:54:47,032 - Hey, do you need any help, boss? - No! 808 00:54:47,116 --> 00:54:49,493 No! No, I don't need any help! 809 00:54:49,535 --> 00:54:53,121 No! 810 00:55:00,797 --> 00:55:03,381 Ooh, you wanna fight dirty, eh? 811 00:55:03,466 --> 00:55:06,134 - Hey, hey, hey. - I'll kill him. Oh, my knee! 812 00:55:06,219 --> 00:55:09,054 My knee. I'll kill ya. Ooh, my knee, my knee! 813 00:55:09,138 --> 00:55:12,390 - You shouldn't have done it so long. - I'll kill him! I'll kill him! 814 00:55:12,475 --> 00:55:15,560 - All right. Come on. - Get out of my way! 815 00:55:16,813 --> 00:55:20,065 Come on. Will you go on? Come on, boy. 816 00:55:20,191 --> 00:55:23,401 I'll kill him. Oh, my knee, my knee. Take it easy, will ya? 817 00:55:23,528 --> 00:55:26,571 Ow! God! I'll kill that bum. 818 00:55:26,697 --> 00:55:28,573 I'll take him apart and put him together again! 819 00:55:28,699 --> 00:55:30,158 Yes, sir. Look, just a minute. 820 00:55:30,243 --> 00:55:31,910 For crying out loud, I know you'll kill him. 821 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,207 What's the matter with you? Listen, I've taken guys twice his size. 822 00:55:37,250 --> 00:55:38,834 I'll bet you have. 823 00:55:38,918 --> 00:55:41,169 I had a 300-pound wrestler one time, gave me some gaff. 824 00:55:41,254 --> 00:55:44,339 I picked him up over my head, threw him to the ground. I broke his collarbone! 825 00:55:44,882 --> 00:55:46,925 You son of a gun. 826 00:55:51,264 --> 00:55:53,598 - You don't believe me, huh? - Oh, sure I do. 827 00:56:00,439 --> 00:56:02,941 - How did we get into this? - How did we get into it? 828 00:56:03,025 --> 00:56:04,860 How the hell do we get out of it? 829 00:56:08,906 --> 00:56:10,866 You son of a... 830 00:56:14,787 --> 00:56:17,372 Ah, shoot. You look fine. 831 00:56:17,456 --> 00:56:20,125 Now, take it easy, will ya? 832 00:56:21,127 --> 00:56:24,087 Okay. But one word out of him, and I'll... 833 00:56:25,965 --> 00:56:27,883 You son of a gun! 834 00:56:29,552 --> 00:56:31,803 All right. Come on. Let's go. 835 00:56:32,221 --> 00:56:35,807 I said, "I used to do a little bit of, uh... 836 00:56:35,933 --> 00:56:38,101 "A little bit of fighting." 837 00:57:00,333 --> 00:57:03,877 I understand you're a pretty big businessman. Is that right, Jim? 838 00:57:04,003 --> 00:57:05,462 Yeah, that's right. 839 00:57:05,504 --> 00:57:08,131 Stella tells me you're in advertising and promotion. 840 00:57:08,174 --> 00:57:09,674 Yeah, that's my title. 841 00:57:09,717 --> 00:57:13,386 They think I'm worth $150,000 a year plus expenses for it. 842 00:57:13,512 --> 00:57:16,056 Ah. Who's your biggest account? 843 00:57:17,224 --> 00:57:19,184 He doesn't believe me. 844 00:57:19,226 --> 00:57:21,686 - Hey, look. Here's a card. - I'm not interested. 845 00:57:21,729 --> 00:57:25,857 - No, he's not interested in that. - You buy, uh, brass and aluminium? 846 00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:29,527 Yep. I buy brass and aluminium. 847 00:57:29,654 --> 00:57:32,489 - Is that right? - That's right. Case closed. 848 00:57:32,531 --> 00:57:35,367 Hey. Hey, now. Look, you son of a gun. 849 00:57:35,493 --> 00:57:37,035 You told me in the kitchen. 850 00:57:39,538 --> 00:57:41,206 Okay. 851 00:57:47,755 --> 00:57:52,717 Hey, uh, you ever hear the one about the fag motorcycle driver? 852 00:57:52,843 --> 00:57:54,928 Yeah, I heard that. 853 00:57:55,554 --> 00:57:59,349 Well, how about the one about the little Jewish agent who... 854 00:57:59,392 --> 00:58:01,726 "Not necessarily." I heard that one, too. 855 00:58:01,852 --> 00:58:04,396 Hey, why don't you tell him about that one about "probably"... 856 00:58:04,438 --> 00:58:06,898 Oh, come on, now. You gave the punch line away. 857 00:58:06,941 --> 00:58:09,359 - What's the matter with you? - I heard that one. 858 00:58:09,402 --> 00:58:11,236 - How about the goose one? - The goose one? 859 00:58:11,362 --> 00:58:15,699 Yeah. The goose that goes down the subway and gets peopled to death. 860 00:58:16,367 --> 00:58:19,285 The goose that goes down the subway and gets peopled to death. 861 00:58:19,412 --> 00:58:23,415 Oh, you're too much. Oh, boy! 862 00:58:23,457 --> 00:58:25,375 Hey, did you hear the one about 863 00:58:25,418 --> 00:58:27,419 the little Jewish carpenter who was so mean... 864 00:58:27,545 --> 00:58:29,629 Once a schmuck, always a schmuck. 865 00:58:31,882 --> 00:58:33,800 That's not the ending I heard. 866 00:58:33,926 --> 00:58:36,720 That joke's old enough to have a beard. 867 00:58:38,806 --> 00:58:40,724 You're really uncanny. 868 00:58:40,766 --> 00:58:42,559 Oh, boy. 869 00:58:42,601 --> 00:58:46,104 Hey, you said you were in business. What kind, uh... 870 00:58:46,147 --> 00:58:47,731 He said he was in insurance business. 871 00:58:47,773 --> 00:58:49,983 Well, I'm in finance. That's a form of insurance. 872 00:58:50,109 --> 00:58:51,776 - Oh, really? - Yes. 873 00:58:51,819 --> 00:58:54,571 - What do you do there? - I'm chairman of the board. 874 00:58:54,613 --> 00:58:57,657 - We have one corporation. - Yeah? What's the firm? 875 00:58:57,783 --> 00:59:00,660 - Investment Finance. - That's a pretty big outfit. 876 00:59:00,786 --> 00:59:04,164 - Yeah. - Hey, uh, do you know Stewie Ray? 877 00:59:05,082 --> 00:59:08,293 - He's not kidding. - I'm not making it up. Stewie Ray. 878 00:59:08,419 --> 00:59:10,128 - Works for me. - No kidding? Really? 879 00:59:10,254 --> 00:59:13,089 - Yeah. - He's a nice guy. Hell of a nice guy. 880 00:59:13,132 --> 00:59:15,633 - You do business with him? - Ah, we talk once in a while. 881 00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,470 A firm like mine has to have a good credit rate. We talk. 882 00:59:18,596 --> 00:59:20,430 - That's very good. - Yeah. 883 00:59:20,473 --> 00:59:23,808 Enough of business already. I'm getting hungry. 884 00:59:23,851 --> 00:59:26,186 You been to Chicago, Dick? 885 00:59:26,312 --> 00:59:29,439 - Not often. - There he goes. He's... 886 00:59:29,482 --> 00:59:32,484 He's uncanny with this phraseology, you know that? 887 00:59:32,526 --> 00:59:34,319 No wonder you're chairman of the board. 888 00:59:34,361 --> 00:59:36,321 Jeannie, you know what chairman of the board is? 889 00:59:36,822 --> 00:59:40,784 He's the man. He's a killer. Boy, he's got all the weight. 890 00:59:40,826 --> 00:59:43,453 Did you ever tell Jean about the board of directors' meeting? 891 00:59:43,496 --> 00:59:46,289 I was just about to, but I didn't get the chance somehow. 892 00:59:49,794 --> 00:59:52,462 There he goes with that uncanny phraseology of his again. 893 00:59:52,505 --> 00:59:56,216 Boy, I'll bet you're a real murderer behind that big desk of yours. 894 00:59:56,342 --> 00:59:58,676 Well, I don't have a big desk. 895 00:59:59,678 --> 01:00:03,348 You know, you're all right. You're all right. You know... 896 01:00:03,390 --> 01:00:05,892 I've been a... I've been a road man all my life. 897 01:00:06,018 --> 01:00:08,895 I've been in every toilet in 50 states. 898 01:00:09,021 --> 01:00:12,482 I sort of prefer it that way. Hey, do you know the... 899 01:00:17,196 --> 01:00:21,032 Hey, you know what? Before they had planes, they had trains. 900 01:00:21,075 --> 01:00:23,827 Now they got these planes that fly like that. 901 01:00:23,869 --> 01:00:27,205 Four and a half hours from New York to Los Angeles. 902 01:00:27,331 --> 01:00:28,748 Four and a half hours. You believe that? 903 01:00:30,334 --> 01:00:32,669 - I don't wanna talk about business. - Huh? 904 01:00:32,711 --> 01:00:36,047 I don't wanna either. I'd rather play a game of billiards. 905 01:00:36,090 --> 01:00:37,549 Do you play billiards? 906 01:00:37,675 --> 01:00:41,511 I can tell by your expression you don't. I'll bet you're a golf man, right? 907 01:00:41,554 --> 01:00:45,348 - Tennis. - Tennis. My kid plays tennis, too. 908 01:00:45,391 --> 01:00:47,225 Is that right? Tennis? No kidding. 909 01:00:47,268 --> 01:00:49,561 I got a friend of mine who bought Don Budge's house. 910 01:00:49,603 --> 01:00:53,565 I know those guys. You know, Segura, Kramer, uh, Gonzales. 911 01:00:53,691 --> 01:00:55,233 I only play for myself. 912 01:00:55,359 --> 01:00:57,735 Sure. Go down, play a few sets, work off the gut. 913 01:00:57,862 --> 01:01:00,947 That'll keep your mind... Uh, body up with your mind. 914 01:01:01,073 --> 01:01:02,532 I got a kid who plays, too. 915 01:01:02,575 --> 01:01:04,742 He's a hell of a nice kid. Smart as a whip, too. 916 01:01:04,869 --> 01:01:08,246 - Nothing like his old man. - Why you S.O.B. 917 01:01:09,039 --> 01:01:12,083 - You're right. I am an S.O.B. - You are. 918 01:01:12,126 --> 01:01:16,254 Oh, boy. This kid's fantastic. He runs! He runs! 919 01:01:16,297 --> 01:01:20,592 And he runs for hours and hours. Summer, winter, snowing, rain. 920 01:01:20,718 --> 01:01:23,595 He doesn't care. He swims in any kind of weather. 921 01:01:23,637 --> 01:01:26,890 Oh, boy. I'm tellin' ya, I don't know where these kids get the energy. 922 01:01:26,932 --> 01:01:28,433 You ever see these Ivy League kids? 923 01:01:28,475 --> 01:01:31,102 They all look alike, skinny shoulders, sneakers. 924 01:01:31,604 --> 01:01:33,229 I don't know what the hell you're talking about. 925 01:01:37,651 --> 01:01:39,444 Oh, I don't know either. 926 01:01:39,570 --> 01:01:41,654 - Hey. Hey. - What? 927 01:01:42,406 --> 01:01:47,076 I think that Dickie would like to be alone with the young lady. 928 01:01:50,122 --> 01:01:53,124 Oh, sure. Who wouldn't? I would, too. You kidding? 929 01:01:53,250 --> 01:01:55,168 A couple of visiting firemen come in, cramp your style, 930 01:01:55,294 --> 01:01:57,128 step all over your feet, huh? 931 01:01:57,254 --> 01:01:59,797 Listen, McCarthy, if you don't get out of here, 932 01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:02,175 I'm gonna call the vice squad. 933 01:02:02,301 --> 01:02:06,262 - Hey, remember. We're the vice squad! - You're the vice squad! 934 01:02:06,472 --> 01:02:09,682 Okay. Hey, Stella, why don't you give that girl... What's her name? 935 01:02:10,100 --> 01:02:11,684 - Marta. - Marta. Why don't you give her a call? 936 01:02:11,810 --> 01:02:14,270 Now, come on, sweetheart? All right? Then we can get out of here. Okay? 937 01:02:15,105 --> 01:02:18,524 Oh, gee, Dick, how did we get into this situation anyway? 938 01:02:18,651 --> 01:02:21,319 I'm sorry. It's ridiculous, isn't it? 939 01:02:21,862 --> 01:02:23,488 Why don't I give you a call Monday? 940 01:02:23,614 --> 01:02:26,824 Maybe we can have lunch or, uh, maybe just talk on the phone, all right? 941 01:02:26,867 --> 01:02:30,620 - That's a very good idea. - Good. Okay. Stewie Ray. 942 01:02:32,706 --> 01:02:35,291 Ah. Oh, boy. 943 01:02:35,542 --> 01:02:37,669 Ah, Stewie Ray. Hey, come on. 944 01:02:37,795 --> 01:02:39,963 Oh, Jeannie, I'll call you the next time I get in town. 945 01:02:40,005 --> 01:02:41,965 Yes, yes, you do that. 946 01:02:42,007 --> 01:02:44,467 Come on, Stella. Let's go. Shake it up! 947 01:02:44,510 --> 01:02:46,511 - It's been a real pleasure. - Nice meeting you. 948 01:02:46,553 --> 01:02:48,304 - Richard, old boy. - Jim. 949 01:02:48,347 --> 01:02:50,473 - Nice meeting you. - Right. 950 01:02:51,058 --> 01:02:54,477 - Sorry about what happened. - Well, that's the way it goes. 951 01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,562 - Night. - Joey. 952 01:02:57,648 --> 01:02:59,148 It's really been a pleasure. 953 01:02:59,191 --> 01:03:02,860 - You're gonna get a raise, Joey. - I hope so. 954 01:03:02,903 --> 01:03:05,738 Come on, Stella, step it up, will ya? Let's go. Let's go. Come on. 955 01:03:05,864 --> 01:03:08,366 I'm glad she's not too tired. I gotta get my coat. Wait. 956 01:03:08,492 --> 01:03:10,368 Come on. Let's go. Let's go. 957 01:03:10,411 --> 01:03:13,204 - Wait till I get... - It's cold outside. 958 01:03:13,247 --> 01:03:14,747 - Come on. - Good night, Jeannie. 959 01:03:14,873 --> 01:03:16,541 Thanks. See you later. 960 01:03:16,625 --> 01:03:19,460 Good night again. Good night, Miss Rapp. 961 01:03:19,545 --> 01:03:21,879 Dickie, Stewie Ray, huh? 962 01:03:22,756 --> 01:03:24,757 Stewie Ray! 963 01:03:28,220 --> 01:03:31,222 - I thought they'd never leave. 964 01:03:32,599 --> 01:03:34,100 "Stewie Ray." 965 01:03:35,602 --> 01:03:38,563 - "You're a golf man, right, Richard?" - Tennis. 966 01:03:41,233 --> 01:03:42,942 I never laughed so hard. 967 01:03:43,068 --> 01:03:45,153 I was pretty good, wasn't I? 968 01:03:45,237 --> 01:03:47,905 - My hero. - Hi, ho, Silver! 969 01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:53,578 White horse hero. You get it? 970 01:03:53,662 --> 01:03:55,747 Yeah, I get it. 971 01:04:04,298 --> 01:04:06,507 Ah, Dickie, Dickie, Dickie. 972 01:04:06,592 --> 01:04:09,093 I like you, you know. I really do like ya. 973 01:04:09,136 --> 01:04:11,095 - Well, don't get serious. - I'm not. 974 01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:13,097 - Well, don't. - I wasn't. 975 01:04:13,140 --> 01:04:15,099 Definition of "seriousness". 976 01:04:15,184 --> 01:04:18,686 Noun. Grave or solemn of disposition. 977 01:04:19,772 --> 01:04:23,316 Yeah, well, I wasn't getting serious. I'm your friend. 978 01:04:24,151 --> 01:04:26,319 Well, you know how I feel about friendship. 979 01:04:26,445 --> 01:04:29,113 - No. How do you feel? - Definition of "friendship". 980 01:04:29,156 --> 01:04:32,158 Noun. One who's attached to another 981 01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:35,286 because of their personal regard. 982 01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:37,955 Companion, a comrade, a chum, 983 01:04:38,665 --> 01:04:41,334 and someone who doesn't get serious. 984 01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:43,961 - Friends never get serious? - Never. 985 01:04:44,713 --> 01:04:47,173 - Can a friend ask a question? - No. And shut up. 986 01:04:49,301 --> 01:04:51,469 Let's do Peter Piper picked a pickle... Peck a... 987 01:04:51,512 --> 01:04:54,680 - Ah, Dickie, I'm exhausted. - You can't be exhausted. 988 01:04:54,807 --> 01:04:56,641 Peter Piper picked a peck of peckled... 989 01:04:56,683 --> 01:04:57,975 Peter Piper picked a peck of... 990 01:04:58,018 --> 01:05:00,895 Hey, Dickie, why did you want to see me? 991 01:05:02,022 --> 01:05:04,232 I wanted to play with you. 992 01:05:04,316 --> 01:05:06,192 All right. Then what? 993 01:05:06,985 --> 01:05:08,986 Oh, we'd play, have a few laughs, 994 01:05:09,071 --> 01:05:10,863 see what developed. 995 01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,324 - I like you. - You like me. 996 01:05:13,742 --> 01:05:16,411 - I like you. - All right, you like me. 997 01:05:16,495 --> 01:05:20,331 - That's right. I like you. - Oh, Dickie, what's the matter? 998 01:05:22,167 --> 01:05:24,502 You think I'm one of those gross businessmen? 999 01:05:24,545 --> 01:05:26,504 You think I have a secretary that picks up the phone 1000 01:05:26,547 --> 01:05:28,756 and gets me whatever I want? 1001 01:05:28,841 --> 01:05:31,384 Jeannie, I buried eight relatives in the past six years. 1002 01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:34,095 There's nobody left but me. I'm just a mild success 1003 01:05:34,179 --> 01:05:36,514 in a dull profession, and I wanna start over again. 1004 01:05:36,557 --> 01:05:38,349 And I've got a bad kidney! 1005 01:05:42,229 --> 01:05:43,688 So? 1006 01:05:54,116 --> 01:05:56,200 Come on and take a bath. 1007 01:05:58,078 --> 01:05:59,912 I don't want a bath! 1008 01:06:03,542 --> 01:06:09,422 No bath? 1009 01:06:09,548 --> 01:06:11,215 No bath. 1010 01:06:11,258 --> 01:06:13,384 People drown in bathtubs. 1011 01:06:32,112 --> 01:06:34,071 No hard feelings? 1012 01:06:34,114 --> 01:06:36,657 You're aces high with me, Charlie. 1013 01:06:37,326 --> 01:06:40,411 ♪ I dream of Jeannie 1014 01:06:40,496 --> 01:06:43,789 ♪ With the light brown hair 1015 01:06:43,916 --> 01:06:48,461 ♪ Borne like a vapour on the summer air 1016 01:07:05,270 --> 01:07:07,522 You know, you're a very strange man. 1017 01:07:07,606 --> 01:07:11,526 - Well, you want me to leave, I'll leave. - But not sensitive. 1018 01:07:11,610 --> 01:07:14,779 And another thing, you don't make me insecure. 1019 01:07:15,614 --> 01:07:18,282 - That's not one of my problems. - Good. 1020 01:07:20,202 --> 01:07:21,661 Alrighty. 1021 01:07:22,871 --> 01:07:24,330 Now. 1022 01:07:25,123 --> 01:07:28,292 Okay, give me a foot. 1023 01:07:30,295 --> 01:07:32,129 ...Those are new socks. 1024 01:07:33,131 --> 01:07:34,549 Yeah? Good. 1025 01:07:35,175 --> 01:07:38,135 - Yeah, new socks make me insecure. 1026 01:07:39,888 --> 01:07:41,806 Clothes make the man. 1027 01:07:44,142 --> 01:07:46,519 - What does that do? - Makes your feet smell good. 1028 01:07:46,645 --> 01:07:48,479 Oh, that's fine. 1029 01:07:49,022 --> 01:07:51,732 Then I'm gonna dry them off, I'm gonna powder them down, 1030 01:07:51,817 --> 01:07:53,734 and then I'm gonna rub 'em till warm. 1031 01:07:53,819 --> 01:07:56,153 ♪ Oh, dem bones, dem bones They walk all over 1032 01:07:56,238 --> 01:07:57,530 ♪ Dem bones, dem bones ♪ Dem bones, dem bones 1033 01:07:57,656 --> 01:07:58,739 ♪ They walk all over ♪ Dry bones 1034 01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:00,658 ♪ Dem bones, dem bones ♪ Dem bones, dem bones, dry bones 1035 01:08:00,742 --> 01:08:02,827 ♪ Now hear the word of the Lord 1036 01:08:02,911 --> 01:08:04,745 ♪ Dem bones, dem bones ♪ Now the backbone 1037 01:08:04,830 --> 01:08:08,332 ♪ Oh, dem bones, dem bones They walk all over 1038 01:08:08,417 --> 01:08:10,668 ♪ Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around ♪ 1039 01:08:10,711 --> 01:08:12,670 - I trust you. - What? 1040 01:08:13,922 --> 01:08:16,382 I said... I said I trust you. 1041 01:08:16,508 --> 01:08:17,925 Good. 1042 01:08:20,345 --> 01:08:22,430 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 1043 01:08:30,689 --> 01:08:33,024 Oh, Freddie. 1044 01:08:36,361 --> 01:08:39,030 Jeannie. Hey, Jeannie. 1045 01:08:39,072 --> 01:08:41,282 Jeannie, you wanna hear a secret, huh? 1046 01:08:45,537 --> 01:08:50,207 Oh, Jeannie, I don't give a damn about racial, religious, 1047 01:08:50,292 --> 01:08:53,127 moral, economical, political problems. 1048 01:08:53,211 --> 01:08:56,464 - That makes two of us. - Eating meat disturbs me. 1049 01:08:57,716 --> 01:09:01,594 Right. Can you imagine raising poor little chickens, steers and lambs 1050 01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:03,220 to fill our tummies? 1051 01:09:03,305 --> 01:09:05,389 Now, there's a problem and nobody cares. 1052 01:09:05,432 --> 01:09:07,058 Right. 1053 01:09:07,142 --> 01:09:08,934 - Right? Huh? Right? - Right. 1054 01:09:09,061 --> 01:09:12,229 They take all the wool off the lamb, and then we eat it. 1055 01:09:12,314 --> 01:09:13,439 Oh, Dickie. 1056 01:09:13,565 --> 01:09:17,568 What is all this holier-than-thou crap that they hand us? 1057 01:09:18,070 --> 01:09:21,447 You know what I think? I think we were all created evil! 1058 01:09:21,573 --> 01:09:25,951 Then some wise guy... Some, uh... A left-winger or a... 1059 01:09:26,078 --> 01:09:30,289 A union organiser comes along and tells us that we all were created good. 1060 01:09:30,415 --> 01:09:33,417 We were all created in His image. Right? 1061 01:09:35,295 --> 01:09:37,630 - Wrong. 1062 01:09:37,756 --> 01:09:41,175 Hey, Jeannie. Jeannie, come here. 1063 01:09:41,259 --> 01:09:44,970 Now, I'm gonna tell you something. This is serious. 1064 01:09:46,098 --> 01:09:48,849 You're such a lovely girl, Jeannie, 1065 01:09:48,934 --> 01:09:50,851 but you talk too much. 1066 01:09:52,604 --> 01:09:54,271 I talk too much? 1067 01:09:54,356 --> 01:09:56,899 Didn't anybody ever tell you that? 1068 01:09:57,275 --> 01:09:59,026 You talk too much. 1069 01:10:00,237 --> 01:10:03,072 - I...? - Now turn out the lights. 1070 01:10:44,030 --> 01:10:45,698 I'm spending the night. 1071 01:10:54,875 --> 01:10:57,626 You're a son of a bitch. Do you know that? 1072 01:10:57,711 --> 01:11:00,004 Why am I a son of a bitch? 1073 01:11:00,088 --> 01:11:01,547 Because you get to me. 1074 01:11:02,340 --> 01:11:04,675 And anybody that gets to me... 1075 01:11:08,305 --> 01:11:09,847 You kill me. 1076 01:11:09,931 --> 01:11:11,849 Let's have some music. 1077 01:12:44,943 --> 01:12:46,443 ♪ Ow! 1078 01:12:46,528 --> 01:12:48,904 ♪ I said everybody 1079 01:12:50,031 --> 01:12:52,116 ♪ Throw up your hands now 1080 01:13:21,146 --> 01:13:25,274 ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 1081 01:14:58,243 --> 01:15:00,995 ♪ I heard of skate-a-ling 1082 01:15:01,538 --> 01:15:03,455 ♪ Skate-a-ling 1083 01:15:03,540 --> 01:15:14,508 ♪ Skate-a-ling, skate-a-ling 1084 01:15:14,592 --> 01:15:17,970 ♪ Skate-a-ling, oh! 1085 01:15:45,582 --> 01:15:47,082 ♪ Ow! 1086 01:15:47,167 --> 01:15:49,543 ♪ I said everybody 1087 01:15:50,628 --> 01:15:52,713 ♪ Throw up your hands now 1088 01:16:21,618 --> 01:16:25,829 ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1089 01:17:27,725 --> 01:17:29,184 Here we are. 1090 01:17:34,023 --> 01:17:35,482 Come on! 1091 01:17:35,942 --> 01:17:38,402 Well, come on. Here's the living room. 1092 01:17:38,486 --> 01:17:40,988 Come on. 1093 01:17:45,118 --> 01:17:46,785 Ooh! Oh! 1094 01:18:39,088 --> 01:18:40,964 Oh, oh, Chet. 1095 01:18:42,550 --> 01:18:44,259 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1096 01:18:45,178 --> 01:18:48,513 ♪ You know, life's so funny, baby 1097 01:18:48,890 --> 01:18:51,975 ♪ Don't even know where I'm gonna run 1098 01:18:55,480 --> 01:18:58,732 ♪ You know, life's so funny, baby 1099 01:18:59,484 --> 01:19:03,445 ♪ Don't even know where I'm gonna run 1100 01:19:06,366 --> 01:19:09,451 ♪ You're still such a little darlin' 1101 01:19:10,078 --> 01:19:11,787 ♪ Expect so much ♪ 1102 01:19:11,871 --> 01:19:13,956 Leave her alone now, and stop it! 1103 01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:16,208 - Come and sit down. - Hey. 1104 01:19:16,292 --> 01:19:18,210 Let's just sit down! 1105 01:19:34,269 --> 01:19:35,769 It's a nice place you got here. 1106 01:19:38,106 --> 01:19:40,565 Thank you. It's 27 years old. 1107 01:19:40,650 --> 01:19:43,151 - Twenty-seven years old? - Oh, come on, Chettie! 1108 01:19:43,236 --> 01:19:46,488 Let's do some more twistin' and groovin'. 1109 01:19:46,572 --> 01:19:48,448 - Florence, the party's over. - Come on, Florence. 1110 01:19:48,533 --> 01:19:50,993 Oh, no. The party's just beginning. 1111 01:19:51,077 --> 01:19:53,245 - Right, Chettie? - Uh, yeah, right. 1112 01:19:53,329 --> 01:19:55,914 'Cause I'm mixing the drinkies. 1113 01:19:55,999 --> 01:19:57,916 Ladies, declare! 1114 01:19:58,001 --> 01:20:00,127 - Gin and tonic. - Scotch and soda. 1115 01:20:00,211 --> 01:20:02,879 Two glasses comin' up. Oh! 1116 01:20:08,928 --> 01:20:11,054 Look, I got these records. 1117 01:20:11,973 --> 01:20:13,432 Can we have some music, please? 1118 01:20:18,479 --> 01:20:21,231 Can we have some music or something, or are we just gonna sit here? 1119 01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:24,484 Where are you from, Chet? 1120 01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:26,778 Detroit. 1121 01:20:30,908 --> 01:20:32,367 Do you like Los Angeles? 1122 01:20:34,078 --> 01:20:35,912 Do you? 1123 01:20:37,040 --> 01:20:39,082 Well, I like the climate. 1124 01:20:40,084 --> 01:20:41,543 I do, too. 1125 01:20:50,928 --> 01:20:55,265 Well! Well, wasn't that some place tonight, huh? 1126 01:20:55,391 --> 01:21:00,020 And those dances. The, uh, Watusi and the Frug. 1127 01:21:00,104 --> 01:21:03,398 - Oh, yeah. - And the Dog and the Jerk. 1128 01:21:03,441 --> 01:21:05,442 - And the... - Did you like it? 1129 01:21:05,568 --> 01:21:07,527 With all those young boys? Of course I liked it. 1130 01:21:07,612 --> 01:21:09,071 Yeah. 1131 01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,700 - Yeah. - Of course I liked it. 1132 01:21:13,785 --> 01:21:16,912 I did notice that you handled yourself very well at the A-Go-Go. 1133 01:21:16,954 --> 01:21:19,247 Oh! Well, thank you. 1134 01:21:20,792 --> 01:21:23,460 You're definitely an individual type. 1135 01:21:24,420 --> 01:21:27,381 I mean, you don't seem to succumb to the atmosphere. 1136 01:21:27,465 --> 01:21:29,466 Who was the little blonde girl 1137 01:21:29,550 --> 01:21:33,136 with the big blue eyes and the big bazoom? 1138 01:21:34,597 --> 01:21:39,309 And did you notice the one in the black tights with the boots? 1139 01:21:39,394 --> 01:21:41,895 You have to have the figure for those tights. 1140 01:21:41,979 --> 01:21:43,980 I have never had any complaints, Louise. 1141 01:21:44,107 --> 01:21:46,233 Billie-May, I didn't say anything like that. 1142 01:21:52,323 --> 01:21:53,824 You... 1143 01:22:02,083 --> 01:22:05,669 Come on, now, you guys. I mean, like, you got nothin' to worry about. 1144 01:22:05,753 --> 01:22:08,130 Really. Believe me. None of ya. 1145 01:22:09,674 --> 01:22:11,174 Believe me, will ya? 1146 01:22:21,686 --> 01:22:24,020 You people are too much, man. Look... 1147 01:22:24,105 --> 01:22:25,355 Are you kiddin'? 1148 01:22:25,440 --> 01:22:28,024 Well, out of that whole room full of pretty, young chicks, 1149 01:22:28,151 --> 01:22:30,861 what made you come over to our table? 1150 01:22:31,112 --> 01:22:33,280 Oh, Billie-May, you know why? 1151 01:22:33,364 --> 01:22:36,158 Because there was something wrong with ya. 1152 01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:39,494 You guys were all sitting there like a bunch of... 1153 01:22:39,537 --> 01:22:42,706 Well, like you were gonna break into tears any minute. 1154 01:22:42,832 --> 01:22:46,042 Now, if I see someone trying to join in 1155 01:22:46,961 --> 01:22:48,795 and not knowing how, 1156 01:22:49,547 --> 01:22:51,715 if I myself know how 1157 01:22:51,841 --> 01:22:55,010 and always make it a point to know how with anybody, 1158 01:22:55,052 --> 01:22:56,720 and I say, "Go on over, man". 1159 01:22:56,804 --> 01:22:59,347 Kind of like, uh, Jesus said. You know. 1160 01:22:59,390 --> 01:23:02,225 ♪ Jesus said la, dee, da 1161 01:23:02,310 --> 01:23:05,187 ♪ God is love, love is dead ♪ 1162 01:23:05,229 --> 01:23:09,316 Kind of like Christ said, you know. Help thy neighbour, man. 1163 01:23:09,400 --> 01:23:11,735 - Is he the one that said that? Billie-May, 1164 01:23:11,861 --> 01:23:14,529 what difference does it make who said it? 1165 01:23:15,406 --> 01:23:17,491 What difference does it make who said it? 1166 01:23:17,575 --> 01:23:19,910 It could have been, uh... 1167 01:23:20,036 --> 01:23:21,495 It could have been Him. 1168 01:23:21,579 --> 01:23:24,247 It could have been Gandhi. It could have been Buddha. 1169 01:23:24,373 --> 01:23:27,000 It could have been spoodah. It could have been your daddy. 1170 01:23:27,084 --> 01:23:30,003 It could have been your mama. It could have been your uh-uh. 1171 01:23:30,087 --> 01:23:31,588 Could have been your huh-huh. 1172 01:23:31,672 --> 01:23:35,175 What difference, man? 1173 01:23:38,054 --> 01:23:41,014 Hey, listen, man. It's a very good way to express yourself. 1174 01:23:41,682 --> 01:23:43,099 What do you mean? 1175 01:23:44,227 --> 01:23:45,685 What? 1176 01:23:45,770 --> 01:23:47,938 I said, "What do you mean?" 1177 01:23:49,357 --> 01:23:52,108 Well, I said, like, take a guy my age. 1178 01:23:53,194 --> 01:23:55,862 I gotta have some kind of a release. 1179 01:23:55,947 --> 01:23:57,864 Now, do you wanna... 1180 01:23:57,949 --> 01:24:00,575 Well, I can't very well hold up a bank for kicks. 1181 01:24:00,618 --> 01:24:03,036 - That's against the law, right? - Right. 1182 01:24:03,120 --> 01:24:07,082 - Right, Chettie. - Then everybody agrees with me. 1183 01:24:07,792 --> 01:24:10,961 - Christ. So what do you do? - You dance. 1184 01:24:11,462 --> 01:24:14,214 - You dance. - You dance. 1185 01:24:14,298 --> 01:24:18,552 You have a few belts and go up to some chick's pad and make it, baby. 1186 01:24:19,762 --> 01:24:21,054 Make it? 1187 01:24:23,307 --> 01:24:26,560 Just make it, baby. You out-and-out lay down and... 1188 01:24:32,441 --> 01:24:33,942 And I... 1189 01:24:40,074 --> 01:24:43,159 Or you can sit around, have a drag and, uh, 1190 01:24:43,995 --> 01:24:46,121 think about what's wrong and all, you know? 1191 01:24:46,831 --> 01:24:48,331 Oh, I know what you mean. 1192 01:24:50,793 --> 01:24:53,295 - I think you do. - Oh, sure she does. 1193 01:24:53,337 --> 01:24:55,005 Sure she does. 1194 01:25:11,105 --> 01:25:12,981 - Well! - Well! 1195 01:25:20,031 --> 01:25:21,865 Yeah, boy. 1196 01:25:22,533 --> 01:25:26,036 Well, Louise, Maria, Florence, there it is. 1197 01:25:26,162 --> 01:25:27,704 This is it. 1198 01:25:27,830 --> 01:25:30,707 The, uh, new generation. The one our husbands... 1199 01:25:30,833 --> 01:25:33,710 That's fun... 1200 01:25:35,463 --> 01:25:37,339 That's funny as hell. 1201 01:25:38,382 --> 01:25:43,053 Billie-May, how'd you happen to get on the subject of our husbands again? 1202 01:25:47,475 --> 01:25:49,726 Well... Oh... 1203 01:25:51,729 --> 01:25:55,857 Because they're scared. They're scared men. I mean... 1204 01:25:58,569 --> 01:26:00,236 Well, they're... 1205 01:26:02,198 --> 01:26:04,074 They're scared of you. 1206 01:26:05,576 --> 01:26:08,578 They're scared of you. They're, uh... 1207 01:26:08,621 --> 01:26:10,205 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. 1208 01:26:10,247 --> 01:26:12,707 They are scared of your youth, 1209 01:26:14,585 --> 01:26:17,587 and your spirit, 1210 01:26:18,923 --> 01:26:20,965 and your build. 1211 01:26:22,134 --> 01:26:25,637 They think that they are the kings of the earth 1212 01:26:25,763 --> 01:26:29,808 and they do not want you takin' their place, see? 1213 01:26:41,570 --> 01:26:44,280 Well, I don't want it. I mean, not... 1214 01:26:47,910 --> 01:26:50,495 Well, I just don't want the hang-up. 1215 01:26:58,754 --> 01:27:00,422 Chettie! 1216 01:27:00,464 --> 01:27:04,134 You're a damn good-looking kid for only 23. 1217 01:27:04,260 --> 01:27:06,094 - Florence. - Let's dance. 1218 01:27:06,137 --> 01:27:09,764 ♪ Florence from Torrance She's got the insurance 1219 01:27:09,807 --> 01:27:13,309 ♪ Florence from Torrance The men all want Florence 1220 01:27:13,436 --> 01:27:16,771 ♪ The happiest chick that I ever did see 1221 01:27:16,814 --> 01:27:20,024 ♪ Until I met a girl named Billie-May 1222 01:27:20,151 --> 01:27:23,820 ♪ Come on, Billie-May I want it your way 1223 01:27:23,946 --> 01:27:27,949 ♪ Come on, Billie-May Make it any day 1224 01:27:27,992 --> 01:27:31,870 ♪ Come on, Billie-May I wanna do the thing 1225 01:27:31,996 --> 01:27:35,874 ♪ Do the little bell, babe Turn me on like hell, babe 1226 01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:40,503 ♪ Come on, Billie-May Hit the ray, you and me, Billie-May 1227 01:27:40,546 --> 01:27:44,048 ♪ Come on, now You will see everything for you and me 1228 01:27:44,175 --> 01:27:47,177 ♪ We will do all the things that we did before, my dear 1229 01:27:49,346 --> 01:27:51,222 ♪ Florence from Torrance 1230 01:27:51,348 --> 01:27:54,851 ♪ The hot-headed Florence Just what they can't see 1231 01:27:54,894 --> 01:27:58,146 ♪ The girl named Florence is groovy, you see 1232 01:27:58,189 --> 01:28:01,566 ♪ But all they want to do is spend her money 1233 01:28:01,692 --> 01:28:06,529 ♪ 'Cause she's got the insurance The girl from Torrance, Florence 1234 01:28:06,572 --> 01:28:10,033 ♪ Send all her allowance Florence from Torrance ♪ 1235 01:28:19,585 --> 01:28:21,085 - No. - Come on. 1236 01:28:21,670 --> 01:28:23,713 - No. - Come on. It's easy. 1237 01:28:24,590 --> 01:28:27,175 - No. No, Chet. I don't wanna. - Right shoe. 1238 01:28:27,218 --> 01:28:29,511 Right shoe. Yeah, baby. Put it right there. 1239 01:28:29,553 --> 01:28:31,262 - No. - Come on. 1240 01:28:31,388 --> 01:28:36,935 ♪ Put on the red meat, baby I want the red meat, baby 1241 01:28:37,061 --> 01:28:39,854 ♪ I like the rare meat, baby 1242 01:28:39,897 --> 01:28:44,400 ♪ Don't want no seasonin', baby No taters or no onions 1243 01:28:44,527 --> 01:28:46,736 ♪ All I wanna do is tonion 1244 01:28:46,779 --> 01:28:49,072 - Come on. That's it. 1245 01:28:49,573 --> 01:28:51,616 - Where are you... Come here. - No. 1246 01:28:51,742 --> 01:28:53,201 Right here, baby. It's easy. 1247 01:28:53,244 --> 01:28:55,912 ♪ I need your red meat, baby 1248 01:28:55,955 --> 01:28:58,915 ♪ It grooves me like your white meat, baby 1249 01:28:59,750 --> 01:29:03,378 ♪ Put it in the oven Want it big and round 1250 01:29:03,420 --> 01:29:06,589 ♪ Put it in the oven Eat it off the ground 1251 01:29:06,715 --> 01:29:09,217 ♪ Come on and do the slip and slide 1252 01:29:09,260 --> 01:29:11,261 ♪ I ain't had no goodies since your granny died 1253 01:29:12,930 --> 01:29:14,931 ♪ Put on the red meat, baby 1254 01:29:14,974 --> 01:29:17,058 ♪ Don't want no taters or onions 1255 01:29:17,101 --> 01:29:18,643 ♪ I just want a tonion 1256 01:29:18,769 --> 01:29:21,938 ♪ Come on and put on the red, baby 1257 01:29:24,942 --> 01:29:26,901 Come on. 1258 01:29:26,944 --> 01:29:29,445 ♪ I like the red meat, baby ♪ 1259 01:29:29,989 --> 01:29:32,991 Oh, I think we're makin' fools of ourselves. 1260 01:29:34,451 --> 01:29:36,744 - What? - Yeah. 1261 01:29:37,663 --> 01:29:39,622 I'm making a fool of myself? 1262 01:29:39,748 --> 01:29:41,499 Well, we are. Yeah. 1263 01:29:43,294 --> 01:29:46,504 - Well, who are you to criticise me? - I'm not criticising. I'm just saying... 1264 01:29:46,630 --> 01:29:49,132 You don't have to tell me I'm making a fool of myself. 1265 01:29:50,467 --> 01:29:52,969 Look, I know how to dance my way. 1266 01:29:53,012 --> 01:29:55,305 I don't need you to tell me about it. 1267 01:29:55,431 --> 01:29:56,973 I come from a musical background. 1268 01:29:57,099 --> 01:29:59,267 - I take care of a family of five. - Okay. Okay. 1269 01:29:59,310 --> 01:30:00,977 I have a college degree, 1270 01:30:01,103 --> 01:30:03,605 and I don't need you to tell me I'm making a fool of myself. 1271 01:30:03,647 --> 01:30:05,815 - Hey. Wait a minute. I'm sorry... - Don't touch me! 1272 01:30:18,829 --> 01:30:22,832 Chettie, you criticised her, honey. Criticise me. 1273 01:30:22,875 --> 01:30:26,461 At my age, I'm willing to learn, honey. Please. 1274 01:30:27,379 --> 01:30:30,340 Okay, you wanna cool it just for a moment? 1275 01:30:32,009 --> 01:30:36,679 ♪ Hot-headed Florence, she's from Torrance 1276 01:30:36,722 --> 01:30:40,391 ♪ The insurance for Chettie-boy 1277 01:30:40,517 --> 01:30:45,229 ♪ Oh, Billie-May She makes love in the hay 1278 01:30:46,690 --> 01:30:49,525 ♪ Hot-headed Florence 1279 01:30:49,652 --> 01:30:54,530 ♪ She's from Torrance with all the insurance 1280 01:30:54,907 --> 01:30:59,744 ♪ Hot-headed Florence Zoom, zoom, da-ditty 1281 01:31:02,331 --> 01:31:07,168 ♪ Oh, Maria You can't see Maria 1282 01:31:07,211 --> 01:31:12,215 ♪ Oh, you can't talk to Maria Oh, Maria ♪ 1283 01:31:16,553 --> 01:31:20,473 ♪ Louise, Louise, Louise, don't pee in the trees ♪ 1284 01:31:34,238 --> 01:31:35,738 Well. 1285 01:31:38,909 --> 01:31:43,413 Well, I think that I maintained my dignity throughout the entire thing. 1286 01:31:43,831 --> 01:31:47,250 I mean, hell, it isn't as if we did anything wrong. 1287 01:31:47,751 --> 01:31:50,586 All anybody has to do is just to look at the four of us. 1288 01:31:50,629 --> 01:31:53,589 I mean, to know that there was nothing wrong. 1289 01:31:53,632 --> 01:31:56,509 And if old Malcolm is gonna get upset over a... 1290 01:31:56,593 --> 01:31:58,636 Over a silly thing like that, then where are we? 1291 01:31:58,762 --> 01:32:00,346 But you know Louise. 1292 01:32:00,431 --> 01:32:03,141 She is gonna go home and talk about how vulgar it was 1293 01:32:03,267 --> 01:32:07,186 and how terrible we all behaved and how she went home the moment it all began. 1294 01:32:07,271 --> 01:32:08,354 But I don't... 1295 01:32:08,439 --> 01:32:11,941 Well, if she does, I'm just gonna tell her she's full of it. 1296 01:32:12,026 --> 01:32:14,861 But I don't think she will. Do you? 1297 01:32:14,945 --> 01:32:17,697 I mean, not that I give a damn anyway. 1298 01:32:21,118 --> 01:32:27,040 You know, this is gonna put her back on the couch for another 25 years. 1299 01:32:28,333 --> 01:32:30,793 I'll tell you something else funny, honey. 1300 01:32:30,878 --> 01:32:32,462 I love Malcolm. 1301 01:32:33,338 --> 01:32:36,466 Yes, I am in love with my husband. 1302 01:32:37,634 --> 01:32:39,135 How about that? 1303 01:32:49,480 --> 01:32:51,189 I think he's nice. 1304 01:32:52,191 --> 01:32:53,649 Don't you? 1305 01:32:56,987 --> 01:32:58,696 You know my Louie. 1306 01:32:59,698 --> 01:33:01,365 So short. 1307 01:33:01,492 --> 01:33:03,326 Those awful glasses. 1308 01:33:05,662 --> 01:33:08,998 And he can't carry a tune, much less dance. 1309 01:33:12,336 --> 01:33:14,087 What's the matter? 1310 01:33:15,005 --> 01:33:16,506 Are you tired? 1311 01:33:19,343 --> 01:33:23,179 Oh, come on. Don't be tired. The evening's young, you know. 1312 01:33:24,848 --> 01:33:27,558 You know, these dances, these wild, crazy dances, 1313 01:33:27,684 --> 01:33:30,853 I think they've succeeded where science failed. 1314 01:33:32,189 --> 01:33:35,399 'Cause, you know, I can go to a beauty parlour and sit there for hours 1315 01:33:35,526 --> 01:33:39,028 having my hair done and my nails polished, 1316 01:33:39,530 --> 01:33:41,864 but I don't feel any younger. 1317 01:33:42,574 --> 01:33:44,242 I might look it. 1318 01:33:45,369 --> 01:33:49,413 But these dances, these wild, crazy dances, 1319 01:33:49,873 --> 01:33:52,208 they do something to me inside. 1320 01:33:55,379 --> 01:33:58,631 Well, to hell with Louie. 1321 01:34:00,467 --> 01:34:04,053 Because do you know one of these days I'm gonna croak? 1322 01:34:04,721 --> 01:34:08,391 And I'm gonna flop down on the ground, and some goddamn preacher's 1323 01:34:08,433 --> 01:34:11,936 gonna preach a goddamn sermon over my goddamn body! 1324 01:34:14,106 --> 01:34:16,899 Oh, Chettie, Chettie, Chettie. 1325 01:34:16,942 --> 01:34:20,236 Oh! Oh, Chettie. 1326 01:34:21,738 --> 01:34:25,575 Let's put on another record and dance some more, shall we? 1327 01:34:26,410 --> 01:34:27,827 Shall we? 1328 01:34:47,306 --> 01:34:49,765 Oh. Oh, Chettie. 1329 01:34:49,850 --> 01:34:51,934 I'm so exhausted. 1330 01:34:51,977 --> 01:34:55,188 Oh! I'm so exhausted. 1331 01:34:56,607 --> 01:34:58,482 - I'm... - Oh. Wait. 1332 01:35:01,778 --> 01:35:04,447 Oh, Chettie! 1333 01:35:05,949 --> 01:35:09,118 ...Oh, Chettie. Chettie. 1334 01:35:09,703 --> 01:35:15,291 Oh, Chettie, you know, I just love to dance, don't you? 1335 01:35:16,293 --> 01:35:18,836 I love ya, Flo. I just love ya. 1336 01:35:18,962 --> 01:35:22,465 Oh, you know, I could... I could just dance... 1337 01:35:22,966 --> 01:35:25,134 Dance all night with you. 1338 01:35:25,177 --> 01:35:29,305 - Oh. You know it? - I know you could. 1339 01:36:02,839 --> 01:36:05,424 Oh, that's so wonderful. 1340 01:36:06,343 --> 01:36:08,177 You're wonderful. 1341 01:36:13,392 --> 01:36:14,850 Chettie, 1342 01:36:19,273 --> 01:36:21,023 would you kiss me? 1343 01:36:22,025 --> 01:36:23,442 Florence. Florence. 1344 01:36:57,269 --> 01:37:01,147 Chettie, will you drive me home? 1345 01:37:02,649 --> 01:37:04,108 Sure. 1346 01:37:05,569 --> 01:37:07,695 Sure. I'll drive you home. 1347 01:37:21,001 --> 01:37:23,544 Chettie! Chettie! 1348 01:37:23,628 --> 01:37:25,588 You said you'd drive me home. 1349 01:37:25,672 --> 01:37:27,423 I will. I will. 1350 01:37:28,508 --> 01:37:31,469 Maria, he is driving me home. 1351 01:37:31,553 --> 01:37:35,222 - Florence, you haven't got a car. - Let me have your car. 1352 01:37:36,683 --> 01:37:40,269 - I will drive you home. - I will return it tomorrow. 1353 01:37:44,608 --> 01:37:46,984 All right. Let me get the keys. 1354 01:37:51,198 --> 01:37:52,656 I'll drive. 1355 01:40:02,037 --> 01:40:04,038 You son of a... 1356 01:40:04,122 --> 01:40:06,332 - No, no. - Yes, yes, yes. 1357 01:40:06,416 --> 01:40:08,751 - No, no, no, no, no. - Yes, yes. 1358 01:41:51,730 --> 01:41:53,272 Let me change. 1359 01:41:54,816 --> 01:41:56,275 Okay. 1360 01:41:59,613 --> 01:42:03,324 ♪ If I find my love will I be a louse? 1361 01:42:03,408 --> 01:42:06,660 ♪ Who cares, man? I'm gonna do it anyway 1362 01:42:06,745 --> 01:42:09,121 ♪ Just the way I got to do it today 1363 01:42:09,205 --> 01:42:11,665 ♪ Turn around and we'll all play 1364 01:42:11,750 --> 01:42:14,710 ♪ Pull down the spread Pull down the covers 1365 01:42:14,794 --> 01:42:17,546 ♪ Gonna get in and have another's 1366 01:42:17,631 --> 01:42:20,382 ♪ Lovers' little bed and gonna have fun 1367 01:42:20,467 --> 01:42:23,344 ♪ Undress, baby, and we'll be one 1368 01:42:23,428 --> 01:42:26,388 ♪ Take down your pants Take down your drawers 1369 01:42:26,473 --> 01:42:29,350 ♪ Gonna show your daddy what his balls are for 1370 01:42:31,186 --> 01:42:33,896 ♪ Come on, honey, take off my socks ♪ 1371 01:43:07,222 --> 01:43:09,682 It's the lights. 1372 01:43:11,017 --> 01:43:12,851 I don't like lights. 1373 01:43:34,165 --> 01:43:36,625 Yeah, well, I'm all wet. 1374 01:43:38,086 --> 01:43:39,795 You know you have a beautiful body? 1375 01:43:40,255 --> 01:43:42,464 Yeah, well... 1376 01:43:42,549 --> 01:43:44,049 I've been told that, yes. 1377 01:43:53,101 --> 01:43:54,935 I have been seduced. 1378 01:44:03,737 --> 01:44:05,195 Is it a nice feeling? 1379 01:44:05,280 --> 01:44:07,990 I am not tired, if that's what you mean. 1380 01:44:08,366 --> 01:44:09,825 Eat your eggs. 1381 01:44:11,745 --> 01:44:13,412 What does that mean? 1382 01:44:14,289 --> 01:44:18,250 It means that your eggs are hot, and they're gonna get cold. 1383 01:44:23,840 --> 01:44:25,799 You're a lousy cook. 1384 01:44:25,884 --> 01:44:30,304 Thank you. I love to cook. My mom always told me, "You wanna eat, cook. 1385 01:44:30,388 --> 01:44:31,847 "Otherwise you'll be skinny. 1386 01:44:31,931 --> 01:44:34,725 "And skinny people are not like fat people. 1387 01:44:34,809 --> 01:44:36,685 "Fat people are jolly." 1388 01:44:36,770 --> 01:44:38,812 - Right? - Wrong. 1389 01:44:39,397 --> 01:44:42,649 Skinny people are happy because they're not fat. 1390 01:44:42,942 --> 01:44:44,610 Okay, I'll diet. 1391 01:44:45,069 --> 01:44:46,528 You're not fat. 1392 01:44:48,114 --> 01:44:50,574 - What? - You're voluptuous. 1393 01:44:53,077 --> 01:44:54,536 What? 1394 01:44:55,914 --> 01:44:57,998 I can't hear you, Dickie. 1395 01:44:58,875 --> 01:45:01,293 Oh. Dishes. 1396 01:45:31,908 --> 01:45:33,659 Well, that's a negative attitude. 1397 01:45:33,743 --> 01:45:35,869 - What? Putting on my pants? - Yeah. 1398 01:45:35,954 --> 01:45:38,038 Well, I just hate getting out of bed. That's all. 1399 01:45:38,122 --> 01:45:40,374 Stop apologising. I love ya. 1400 01:45:40,875 --> 01:45:43,919 - Don't be so bighearted. - What an answer. 1401 01:45:44,546 --> 01:45:47,422 - Well, you make lousy eggs. - I do? 1402 01:45:47,715 --> 01:45:50,175 Yes, and I don't know how anyone could make lousy eggs. 1403 01:45:50,260 --> 01:45:53,011 Look, in my whole life nobody ever told me I make lousy eggs. 1404 01:45:53,096 --> 01:45:55,055 Yeah, but nobody was ever honest with you before. 1405 01:45:55,139 --> 01:45:56,807 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 1406 01:45:57,809 --> 01:46:01,103 - What do you want? Cigarettes? - Oh, no, I quit. 1407 01:46:01,646 --> 01:46:04,189 I don't smoke either. I never did. 1408 01:46:05,024 --> 01:46:07,234 - Well, don't I get any credit for that? - No. 1409 01:46:08,027 --> 01:46:10,362 Did you know I steal in supermarkets? 1410 01:46:10,446 --> 01:46:12,364 And I don't like dogs. 1411 01:46:13,658 --> 01:46:17,035 - You don't like dogs? - Hate them. Puppies even. 1412 01:46:17,370 --> 01:46:19,454 What do you mean you steal? 1413 01:46:23,751 --> 01:46:25,252 Oh, you jerk. 1414 01:46:26,212 --> 01:46:30,048 Just don't ever say you know all of Jeannie Rapp's secrets. 1415 01:46:30,675 --> 01:46:33,385 - You're wearing false eyelashes. - So? 1416 01:46:33,845 --> 01:46:37,306 You're stupid. So help me God, you're stupid. 1417 01:46:37,891 --> 01:46:40,851 I'm stupid? You can't even say a decent, 1418 01:46:40,935 --> 01:46:42,352 "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers". 1419 01:46:42,437 --> 01:46:46,064 All you do is say, "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled poopers". 1420 01:46:46,149 --> 01:46:48,150 Well, that doesn't make any sense. 1421 01:46:48,234 --> 01:46:50,819 I dream of Jeannie, Peter Piper, 1422 01:46:51,613 --> 01:46:54,239 laughing, dancing, having a good time. 1423 01:46:54,866 --> 01:46:57,409 Does it begin to come back to you? 1424 01:46:57,744 --> 01:46:59,620 Oh, you're such a child. 1425 01:46:59,704 --> 01:47:02,623 I am not a child. You're a... You're a lousy dancer. 1426 01:47:02,707 --> 01:47:04,875 - You oughta take lessons. - Well, I took dances. 1427 01:47:05,376 --> 01:47:09,004 You know, you have a tin ear, too. You can't even carry a tune. 1428 01:47:09,088 --> 01:47:13,884 But last night, you danced and you sang and you just let it all go 1429 01:47:13,968 --> 01:47:16,345 and didn't we have a good time? 1430 01:47:16,721 --> 01:47:19,222 You liked making love to me, didn't you? 1431 01:47:19,599 --> 01:47:21,058 Yes, I did. 1432 01:47:21,142 --> 01:47:23,810 So, you see, there. That's good, isn't it? 1433 01:47:23,895 --> 01:47:26,939 And you enjoyed my company, too, didn't you? 1434 01:47:27,023 --> 01:47:28,482 I enjoyed your company. 1435 01:47:28,983 --> 01:47:32,069 And you said that you trusted me, didn't you? 1436 01:47:32,779 --> 01:47:34,279 Yes, I did. 1437 01:47:34,364 --> 01:47:38,951 And you thought Peter Piper was pretty important last night, didn't you? 1438 01:47:39,786 --> 01:47:42,204 - Didn't you? - Yes, I did. 1439 01:47:43,122 --> 01:47:47,292 You see? I'm always right. 1440 01:47:47,752 --> 01:47:49,920 I listened to your demented dialogue, too, didn't I? 1441 01:47:50,004 --> 01:47:53,298 - Yes, you did. - And I thought you were crazy, didn't I? 1442 01:47:53,383 --> 01:47:57,219 But I made love to you, and I held you in my arms all night. 1443 01:47:57,303 --> 01:47:59,221 And if you'd been out in the street last night, 1444 01:47:59,305 --> 01:48:02,057 they'd have had you committed. Wouldn't they? 1445 01:48:02,809 --> 01:48:04,476 Right? 1446 01:48:04,560 --> 01:48:06,061 I suppose so. 1447 01:48:06,729 --> 01:48:09,231 You son of a gun. 1448 01:48:11,275 --> 01:48:13,360 How come you hate me now? 1449 01:48:15,405 --> 01:48:16,863 Jeannie, 1450 01:48:19,701 --> 01:48:21,284 do me a favour? 1451 01:48:24,706 --> 01:48:26,748 Don't be silly any more. 1452 01:48:27,500 --> 01:48:29,209 Just be yourself. 1453 01:48:32,839 --> 01:48:34,506 But I am myself. 1454 01:48:36,426 --> 01:48:37,884 Who else would I be? 1455 01:48:38,594 --> 01:48:40,053 I'm serious. 1456 01:48:43,599 --> 01:48:45,642 Definition of "serious". 1457 01:48:46,728 --> 01:48:49,521 Blah, blah, blah, blah. 1458 01:49:05,830 --> 01:49:08,457 Let me get this garbage out of here. 1459 01:49:09,625 --> 01:49:13,962 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair 1460 01:49:14,589 --> 01:49:18,884 ♪ Borne like a vapour on the summer air 1461 01:49:19,677 --> 01:49:23,972 ♪ I see her tripping where the light something grows 1462 01:49:24,974 --> 01:49:30,103 ♪ I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair 1463 01:49:30,521 --> 01:49:33,106 ♪ Borne like a... Ah! 1464 01:49:33,691 --> 01:49:35,859 ♪ On the summer air 1465 01:49:37,028 --> 01:49:39,905 ♪ I see her tripping 1466 01:49:40,990 --> 01:49:44,284 ♪ Where the light something grows 1467 01:49:46,329 --> 01:49:48,038 ♪ Happy as a... ♪ 1468 01:49:51,667 --> 01:49:53,126 Jeannie. 1469 01:49:54,837 --> 01:49:56,296 Jeannie? 1470 01:50:05,306 --> 01:50:09,267 Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. 1471 01:50:09,352 --> 01:50:12,187 Now, if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, 1472 01:50:12,271 --> 01:50:14,564 where is the peck of pickled peppers Peter picked? 1473 01:50:15,399 --> 01:50:17,692 Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. 1474 01:50:17,777 --> 01:50:20,320 If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, 1475 01:50:20,404 --> 01:50:23,115 where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter picked? 1476 01:50:30,540 --> 01:50:33,250 Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. 1477 01:50:33,334 --> 01:50:36,128 Now, if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, 1478 01:50:36,212 --> 01:50:39,131 where is the peck of pickled peppers Peter picked? 1479 01:50:39,215 --> 01:50:40,382 Peter Piper picked a peck... 1480 01:50:40,466 --> 01:50:42,134 Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. 1481 01:50:42,218 --> 01:50:45,971 If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers... 1482 01:50:54,939 --> 01:50:58,817 Operator, I want the emergency rescue squad. 1483 01:50:59,819 --> 01:51:01,278 My number? 1484 01:51:02,321 --> 01:51:03,905 My number is... 1485 01:52:06,052 --> 01:52:07,510 No way. 1486 01:52:11,140 --> 01:52:12,599 Come on. 1487 01:52:41,629 --> 01:52:44,172 Come on, now, drink this, damn it! 1488 01:52:45,216 --> 01:52:47,342 Goddamn bitch. Drink this! 1489 01:53:20,126 --> 01:53:21,584 Please walk. 1490 01:53:27,383 --> 01:53:28,842 Walk. 1491 01:53:29,176 --> 01:53:31,011 Maria, walk, please. 1492 01:53:41,981 --> 01:53:44,316 Walk. Come on. 1493 01:55:04,522 --> 01:55:06,940 Come on, now. Don't go back out. 1494 01:55:34,969 --> 01:55:37,846 No. You gotta stay awake. Please. 1495 01:55:39,682 --> 01:55:41,141 I don't want you to die. 1496 01:55:51,068 --> 01:55:52,569 Please, lady. 1497 01:55:56,824 --> 01:56:01,327 You gotta stay awake. 1498 01:56:05,833 --> 01:56:08,042 - You gotta stay awake. 1499 01:56:16,093 --> 01:56:17,719 Hey. Come on. Come on. 1500 01:56:17,803 --> 01:56:19,596 Come on, now! God damn it! 1501 01:56:20,639 --> 01:56:22,140 Now, come on! 1502 01:56:31,275 --> 01:56:32,901 That's it! Oh! Oh! Oh! 1503 01:56:32,985 --> 01:56:35,528 Ooh, you gonna cry? Oh! Come on. 1504 01:56:36,071 --> 01:56:37,697 Come on. 1505 01:56:37,781 --> 01:56:41,242 I didn't want to hit you, but don't go to sleep on me. 1506 01:56:41,327 --> 01:56:45,079 Oh! Come on, now. Cry. That's it. That's life, honey. 1507 01:56:45,164 --> 01:56:47,916 Tears are happiness, man. Just do it. 1508 01:56:48,000 --> 01:56:50,251 Come on, now. Oh. 1509 01:56:50,336 --> 01:56:51,878 You silly nut. 1510 01:56:54,924 --> 01:56:56,966 Do you want some coffee? 1511 01:56:57,051 --> 01:56:59,469 Can I trust ya? Huh? Huh? 1512 01:57:00,054 --> 01:57:01,513 Okay. Wait a minute. 1513 01:57:01,597 --> 01:57:04,098 I don't trust ya anyway. I don't. 1514 01:57:04,517 --> 01:57:06,976 - Ah! You little sneaky, you. 1515 01:57:07,061 --> 01:57:08,937 I'm gonna get you some coffee. 1516 01:57:51,230 --> 01:57:52,689 I'm cold. 1517 01:58:32,146 --> 01:58:33,605 I like you. 1518 01:58:35,274 --> 01:58:38,401 I caused you a lot of pain and a lot of grief, 1519 01:58:39,069 --> 01:58:41,446 and I almost killed ya. 1520 01:58:41,530 --> 01:58:43,865 And I prayed, man. Oh... I prayed to God. 1521 01:58:43,949 --> 01:58:47,118 I said, "God, please, dear God, don't let anything happen to her 1522 01:58:47,202 --> 01:58:50,121 "'cause I love her so much, and I'll do anything you say, God". 1523 01:58:50,205 --> 01:58:52,498 And, man, I don't even believe in Him, you know. 1524 01:58:52,583 --> 01:58:56,044 But, I mean, it doesn't matter. I... We protect ourselves. 1525 01:58:56,128 --> 01:59:00,173 So, when you talk ethics and values and honesty, 1526 01:59:00,257 --> 01:59:03,509 and I'm a nice guy and you're a nice guy 1527 01:59:04,845 --> 01:59:07,263 and this and that, you know, I mean, it just doesn't matter. 1528 01:59:11,560 --> 01:59:13,019 Nobody cares. 1529 01:59:13,103 --> 01:59:17,315 Nobody has the time to be vulnerable to each other. 1530 01:59:18,817 --> 01:59:20,985 So, we just go on. 1531 01:59:21,070 --> 01:59:26,532 I mean, right away our armour comes out like a shield and goes around us 1532 01:59:26,617 --> 01:59:29,702 and we become like mechanical men. 1533 01:59:29,787 --> 01:59:32,288 Yeah. And I called you a mechanical woman, huh? 1534 01:59:32,373 --> 01:59:34,415 I got news. I'm so mechanical... 1535 01:59:34,500 --> 01:59:37,919 Honey, it's absolutely ludicrous how mechanical a person can be. 1536 01:59:40,881 --> 01:59:42,715 I am the sexiest guy in the world. 1537 01:59:45,594 --> 01:59:48,346 I have blond hair. 1538 01:59:49,515 --> 01:59:52,934 I can get all the women I want. 1539 01:59:53,727 --> 01:59:55,603 You're waking up, aren't ya? 1540 01:59:57,690 --> 01:59:59,774 You silly little puddin'. 1541 02:00:00,567 --> 02:00:03,069 Yes, I am a silly little puddin'. 1542 02:00:07,366 --> 02:00:11,119 You know, anybody that would pop a lot of sleeping pills, 1543 02:00:11,995 --> 02:00:13,496 anybody that would 1544 02:00:13,580 --> 02:00:16,582 their guts out, you know, in front of company, 1545 02:00:16,667 --> 02:00:21,671 anybody that would let a guy slap her and not be mad at him... 1546 02:00:21,755 --> 02:00:24,090 - You're supposed to be saving my life. - ...hasn't got much to say. 1547 02:00:24,174 --> 02:00:26,968 I've got lots to say. You wanna try me? 1548 02:00:28,262 --> 02:00:30,972 No, I hate you. I really hate you. 1549 02:01:10,012 --> 02:01:11,512 ♪ Yes, I know 1550 02:01:15,976 --> 02:01:17,852 ♪ Yes, I know 1551 02:01:17,936 --> 02:01:20,730 ♪ Oh, didn't Daniel in that lions' den 1552 02:01:28,614 --> 02:01:31,449 ♪ Oh, Lord, I'm ready 1553 02:01:31,533 --> 02:01:36,037 ♪ I'll be ready when that great day comes 1554 02:01:36,121 --> 02:01:38,581 ♪ Oh, glory, hallelujah 1555 02:01:38,665 --> 02:01:41,709 ♪ Ready, oh, Lord, I'm ready 1556 02:01:42,085 --> 02:01:44,879 ♪ I'll be ready when that great... ♪ 1557 02:02:44,439 --> 02:02:46,858 I thought you just had problems. 1558 02:02:53,574 --> 02:02:56,367 That's wonderful. That's something new. 1559 02:02:57,661 --> 02:02:59,453 A noble adulteress. 1560 02:03:01,039 --> 02:03:03,541 I think you ought to be rewarded. 1561 02:03:06,670 --> 02:03:11,465 I'll write it into a policy. You commit adultery, the adulterer gets killed. 1562 02:03:13,677 --> 02:03:17,555 The beneficiary, who is the adulteress, gets paid off, right? 1563 02:03:17,639 --> 02:03:19,515 Dickie, I don't care. 1564 02:03:24,104 --> 02:03:27,565 Rejected for the thousandth time in 14 years. 1565 02:03:31,486 --> 02:03:33,195 She doesn't care. 1566 02:03:37,868 --> 02:03:41,454 All I have to do is find that 10-year-old rapist and kill him. 1567 02:03:42,706 --> 02:03:44,248 And then you get paid off. 1568 02:03:44,333 --> 02:03:46,918 You don't need me, you don't need any man. 1569 02:03:47,002 --> 02:03:49,128 And I'll write the policy. 1570 02:04:01,266 --> 02:04:05,603 What the hell were you doing? Chasing each other all over the house? 1571 02:04:06,730 --> 02:04:10,149 You couldn't get laid in bed, so you come down to the kitchen? 1572 02:04:10,233 --> 02:04:13,986 Then you go up and take a shower to wash off the kitchen? 1573 02:04:18,992 --> 02:04:21,953 You get laid once and everything is solved! 1574 02:04:24,414 --> 02:04:29,502 Get all the soldiers in Vietnam laid and the whole Middle East problem is solved! 1575 02:04:32,547 --> 02:04:36,217 You want violence, huh? You want me to be violent? Is that it? 1576 02:04:36,301 --> 02:04:40,805 You want me to slap you across the face every time you open your mouth? 1577 02:04:47,938 --> 02:04:49,522 I hate my life. 1578 02:04:53,360 --> 02:04:55,277 I just don't love you. 1579 02:05:46,705 --> 02:05:48,998 Throw me a cigarette, please. 1580 02:05:57,591 --> 02:05:59,050 A light. 1581 02:06:13,190 --> 02:06:14,982 My lighter, please. 1582 02:06:41,510 --> 02:06:44,136 Those pills, they tie up your lungs. 1583 02:06:45,639 --> 02:06:47,098 Ouch. 1584 02:07:17,295 --> 02:07:19,964 ♪ Never felt like this before 1585 02:07:20,048 --> 02:07:27,763 ♪ Never felt like this before 1586 02:07:27,848 --> 02:07:31,475 ♪ I see you in the storm 1587 02:07:31,560 --> 02:07:34,645 ♪ And you hold me in your arms 1588 02:07:34,729 --> 02:07:38,524 ♪ And I feel safe and warm 1589 02:07:38,608 --> 02:07:42,153 ♪ I want you always by my side Don't you ever let me leave 1590 02:07:42,237 --> 02:07:44,446 ♪ Or get away from you 1591 02:07:44,531 --> 02:07:48,784 ♪ I'm gonna stick like glue 1592 02:07:48,869 --> 02:07:52,246 ♪ 'Cause you knew what I was after 1593 02:07:52,330 --> 02:07:55,791 ♪ Now the time is for laughter 1594 02:07:57,252 --> 02:07:59,753 ♪ What you doin' standin' way over there 1595 02:07:59,838 --> 02:08:04,425 - Excuse me. ♪ I want you to come stand over here 1596 02:08:04,509 --> 02:08:08,387 ♪ And never leave me here alone 1597 02:08:08,471 --> 02:08:11,223 ♪ Have you felt like this before 1598 02:08:11,308 --> 02:08:21,233 ♪ Never felt like this before 1599 02:08:21,610 --> 02:08:22,735 ♪ Never felt like this before ♪ 122787