Original subtitles

Does Murdoch really believe that Salsa is a civilizing influence?

Dancer requires anticipating a partner's movement.

Working together is one.

I can think of a lot of other ways to become one.

No, Carl, look, it's like this, okay? Step back two, three, one, two, three,

four, back two, three, four, front two, okay.

Good. I used to moonlight as a ballroom dance instructor.

Really? Uh -huh.

Now if I can get a convention full of orthodontists to shake their booties, I

can teach you. Come on.

Hey.

Don't look at your feet. Look at me. One, two, three, four, one, two, three,

four, one, two.

Ow.

You told me not to look at my feet.

Well.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Let the master demonstrate.

No thanks, Martin.

Come on, can't the teacher learn things too? We're busy.

Fine.

Plummet for all I care.

Hey!

Hey!

What's with him?

When the great eclipse plunged the world into darkness, the vampire race erupted

in a civil war.

The bloodthirsty fury battled with the enlightened elders for domination of the

undead. In desperation, the elders gathered up those young vampires that

be saved and entrusted them to me.

To humanize them, to tame their instincts, and teach them how to live

mortal.

It is part of human nature to select a mate.

Not surprisingly, natural pairing can leave some mortals lonely and

But what does it do to a vampire?

How come this handbook?

Yawn.

History of the vampire from 400 B .C. to the present.

Snooze.

Vampire anatomy.

Meryl, how can you read this crap?

Black magic.

Now here's something to do on a Saturday night.

Jennifer, you got a minute?

Mm -hmm. Um, my old school Redfield is organizing a homecoming dance, and it's

tomorrow night.

I know it's kind of late, but, uh... I

guess that's a no.

All right.

A strand of the desired's hair.

Very nice.

A petal of a flower rare.

What do we got here?

Very nice.

A jagged shard of antique mirror.

And a single tear.

Mommy?

I forget it.

Good enough.

Okay, here we go.

For those who want their chosen heart, to see them as God apart.

This spell will all flaws remove and so their view of me in Peru.

Come in at your ass.

I think I'm finally getting it.

Told you I was a good teacher.

Yeah.

Marty.

Sorry?

Marty? I was too harsh with him.

What are you talking about?

Well, all he wanted was a dance, and I pushed him away.

Well, with good reason. The guy's a jerk.

But he has intensity.

Like scratching a record kind of intensity.

He feels rejected, Carl.

Well, so do I. We're sitting here, talking, getting along. I mean, really

getting along. You felt something. I felt something.

Something special was about to happen here.

Marty's a sensitive person. Sensitive people don't handle rejection well.

I see.

Jeez. With other girls, I always know the right moment. But with you... Okay.

Yes, we do.

You're beautiful.

I'm very attracted to you. And right now, I'd like to be with you.

Carl.

Can we cut this short?

What?

Practice the dance moves while I'm gone, okay?

Where are you going?

I wouldn't call it a date.

Think of it more as a timeshare.

You give me an hour or two of your time tomorrow night, and in return, all.

No, no, no, no. You're doing it all wrong.

Let me give you some advice.

You advice?

What is the hidden agenda?

No agenda, just a challenge. I hate it when one of us succumb to one of them.

You're talking as if they're the enemy.

Oh, they are.

Until you find their weakness.

See that girl?

Yeah. She needs you in her life.

She doesn't even know I'm alive.

Well, trust me, she's starved for it. But she doesn't know yet.

Uh -huh.

She's gone to the library.

She stared at the book covers and never read inside.

That's you, Malcolm.

I'm a book? You're sensitive, you're intelligent, and you're reaching ways

she can't even begin to appreciate.

So, how do I get her to read inside my cover?

By being yourself.

No, no, no, no frills, no gimmicks.

Just let the true Malcolm come out.

We're definitely improving.

See? We're getting it.

We can learn the steps, but we'll never know the dance.

What does that mean?

Murdoch thinks dancing is a metaphor for human relationships, right?

Right. Well, that's all it is. A metaphor.

We can't have the real thing. We're vampires.

You're wrong.

Vampires can fall in love just as humans do.

How can we? We can't feel as humans do.

We can.

If we can find the one.

Yeah, that myth.

There are plenty of examples of vampires loving deeply and passionately.

Mortal love is the only real love, Mal.

A vampire's love can last for centuries.

It's quality, Mal.

Not quantity.

Vampires love.

Just find somebody on the web.

You've been a very bad boy, Marty.

What? What have I done?

You know.

Go back to your lover, boy. I see you.

Leave me alone.

Cutting in on me and Carl?

Some nerve.

Wanted to dance. No big deal.

You know, Marty, um... There's been something I've been wanting to do for a

long time.

Yeah, well, my tightness. You okay?

I'm not in the mood.

What do you say we cuddle up a little bit?

Watch a video.

I don't understand.

Did you guys have a fight or something?

No.

One minute she's telling me how much she likes me, and the next minute she's

playing tonsil hockey with Creepo over there.

You think maybe you pushed her too hard?

You know how it feels about commitment.

She seems pretty committed right now.

You know, this video thing ain't cutting it.

What about a bath instead?

Sure, I'll go get it for you.

I meant with me.

You do that for me?

Well, normally I like to wait before sharing certain intimacies, but with you

know it's right.

Oh,

oh, oh.

And while you're at it, could you mix me up one of them Bloody Marys?

The real thing.

Coming right up, baby.

Mm -hmm.

The tougher they are,

the harder they fall.

Hi, Sherry. Hey, Malcolm.

What's with the books?

Catching up on some light reading.

Thomas Aquinas is hardly light.

Well, just don't let the cover fool you.

Because within these pages... Save it, Malcolm.

Nick already tried that one on me.

He did?

Yeah. Everyone knows you're looking for a date for the homecoming dance tonight.

They do?

But you've decided to aim high.

Uh -huh.

Okay, I'll go with you.

What? You will?

Uh -huh.

Say, this isn't a pity thing, right?

Yeah.

Fine. Meet you at eight.

It's all there.

What is?

Countless examples of vampires who fell in love and lived happily ever after.

I've marked the pages.

You're really trying to make a point with this, aren't you?

Just read it, Drew.

We'll talk later.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Just a little to the left.

Marty,

I've been thinking.

Hmm?

Chiffon, muslin, or silk?

What are you talking about?

For my wedding gown.

Wedding? Yeah. I was thinking about 500 guests. Not including our makers, it

will be the event of the century.

Essie, we got a good thing going here.

Let's not spoil it.

We must consecrate our love. It is tradition.

Okay, but let's not go overboard here, okay?

Okay, we'll have the ceremony by the half moon.

We'll chant from the ancient scriptures and we'll dine on a feast of newborns.

Newborns. That might be a touch too savage for our current taste.

Essie, I don't think we should rush into things.

It has taken me a century to find the one. I hardly call that rushing.

Just remembered, you know.

I used to use the little boy's room.

Okay, I'll be right here.

I'm sure you will.

I love you.

Black magic?

What were you thinking?

It was just a love spell. I didn't think she'd get into it like this. She can't

mess with Essie's feelings like this.

Don't you know you're dealing with the most volatile of all emotions? Spare me

the lecture, Meryl.

I just need to find a way to break this spell before Essie drives me completely

crazy.

I don't know if I can.

Why did you do this?

Did you need her love that badly? Love? Give me a break, Meryl.

For just a game.

Maybe for you.

Look, Essie's not about love, all right? She's self -centered, domineering, and

she deserves what she gets.

Spoken like a true bastard.

Sticks and stones, Meryl.

Don't leave me, Marty.

Don't move.

It's still bleeding.

That's because the dagger was silver.

Six inches lower.

I'd be on a fast road to hell.

And she's totally flipped.

She's in love.

This isn't love.

It's attempted homicide.

For a vampire, it's a crime of passion.

What am I going to do?

The spell made her see you as you wanted her to see you.

So she's living an illusion.

How do we snap her out of it?

Get rid of the lie.

Only in the mirror's reflection can the Enchantess see her love for who he

really is.

Mirrors.

I can do mirrors.

Looks like somebody's got a date for the dance.

So, who's the dream girl?

Sherry.

How?

I mean, she turned me down.

What can I say?

I'm a serious work of fiction, and you're just a trashy bestseller.

Have fun.

The book.

It's amazing.

I told you there can be hope for our kind.

Sometimes you can be so stubborn.

Here, here. On page 130. Check this out. My footnote. See?

It says here that in 17th century London, a male vampire and a female

fell in love, got married, the whole thing, and nobody got hurt.

Do you know what this means?

It means sharing is possible.

A whole book proving just the opposite.

And all you see is what you want to see.

I see.

I'm so glad I found you.

Come here.

Oh, Marty, I'm so sorry.

I can't believe I did that.

Does it hurt terribly?

It'd probably help if you tighten up the bandages a bit.

Come here.

If you do it by the mirror, it's better light.

Wow.

You should look in the mirror. I mean, don't you think we make a great couple?

I just want to look at you.

Terrific. You should really look in the mirror, Essie. Why, sweetie?

Because there was something in your teeth. What?

Marty?

A manipulator.

A liar.

A short, attention -grabbing clown who's always looking for a shortcut.

What?

Ow!

Completely selfish.

Never doing things for others, only for himself.

Someone who thinks that the only way to connect with people is by hurting them.

Yeah.

What is the real Martin?

I could kill you.

Um, you already tried that, remember?

Well, you know that.

Yeah.

Well, our baby still hurts.

How can I make it better?

I don't know. Use your imagination.

My imagination?

Or you can use something else.

You want to dance?

I may be a short, manipulative, attention -grabbing clown, but what I

humanity, I make up on the dance floor.

Some people find their soulmate right away.

Others have to wait.

They find pleasure and comfort in other things, like friendship.