Original subtitles

What the hell is that?

A new and terrible war machine has been developed in Europe.

Its inventors wish to use it on behalf of the Confederacy, and we are here to

try and stop that.

My name is Saratoga.

Saratoga Brown.

One doesn't meet a woman like that very often in this life.

Oh my God.

They took Miss Saratoga!

She was like a great flying boat.

If Mr.

Phileas Fogg truly loves you...

He will keep his airship out of the battle.

And your life will be saved.

Will you?

I'll return for you.

I promise.

The Civil War raged on.

But after the death of his beloved Saratoga Brown, my friend took little

interest in his progress.

Indeed, his behavior became so wild that we all started worrying about his

sanity.

So we deflated the Aurora, put it in storage, and set off for New York, where

figured his wild behavior might be less noticeable.

The question was, could we get him there in one piece?

We can.

Looks like I got you beat.

Oh, how?

Oh, Jack.

My game again, I think, gentlemen.

I think you've won one game too many, Mr. Thorpe.

Delighted to accommodate you, Colonel.

Should we stop it now?

I didn't say you were cheating, though.

It was implicit.

I think there is room for ten places each way in this car.

Shall we come out?

Look, I wasn't accusing you of anything.

You thought I won.

I apologize.

Ah.

Well, now get in.

Shall we continue?

Not before somebody else wishes to register an objection.

Hmm?

Are you selling beets?

We pick them up and we slow down back a mile. We send seeds straight out of the

field.

Steve, these are covered with dirt.

Well, five cents runs through this dirt. You can wash yourself off.

Two cents, dry yourself, and then clean the beets afterwards. If you don't like

beets, I got apples, maple sugar, peanuts, onions.

Onions, of course.

Lady, you look like the refined type.

So I present you with Grand Trunk Hair.

You know, it's not a publication I'm familiar with. I wrote it myself, set

tie myself, and printed it in the baggage cart.

It's a real good read.

You're a typhoon, mister.

A young typhoon.

He means that you have the making of a great American businessman.

What's your name?

Al. Al the Newsboy.

You want a joke book? Ten cents.

Keep all your friends laughing.

He does that anyway.

Might I have a cup of tea?

Damnation of that. That's enough. I'm out of this game.

I'm not imputing your honesty, Mr. Egg. I just didn't realize I was dealing with

a professional.

Mr. Isaiah Throbworth's compliments, sir. He'd like to invite you to his

car for a game of cards.

Who's Isaiah Throbworth when he's at home?

Mr. Throbworth is one of America's most distinguished citizens, sir.

Let's put it this way, Mr. Fogg.

I reckon he's the only man on this train who can afford to sit down at cards

with you.

The, uh,

pressures

of business, sir.

But... As long as I can lighten the load with the aid of song, I will

carry on.

You are fond of opera?

I understand you wish to play cards, Mr. Roberts.

Ah, a man who gets to the point.

Very good.

So do I.

You play blackjack, Mr. Park?

And the $5 was kindly returned to its owner by the honest newsboy who was well

rewarded for how public -spirited he was.

You know, you should read this, Jules.

It's charming.

Especially the spelling.

I'm too busy waiting for the gunfire.

Oh, surely not.

I will go to, uh...

Bring him the paper.

Offer Phileas that instead of the times, and he'll shoot you, Passpartout.

Yes, but... Oh, come on, then.

We'll all go.

You know, Phileas just loves having people peering over his shoulder when

playing for high stakes.

I know, but this one, Miss Rebecca... Is also the wrong car.

Well, thank you, Passpartout.

We seem to have seen practically every car on the trail.

Earth?

Ow.

I'm all right, ma 'am. It's just a little chemistry experiment. I never

sulfuric acid could do that to copper nitrate.

Sulfuric acid?

Do you have a laboratory in there?

Gotta keep up with science, mister.

You wanna see?

Well done, sir.

I respect your skill.

And I respect your equanimity, Mr. Trumbull.

Truth is, Fogg, fast as I lose it to you, I can't keep up with how much is

coming in.

Uncle Sam, you know.

You're a government contractor?

The very best kind.

And what kind would that be?

I make firearms, Mr. Fogg.

Every time one of those boys in blue shoots a boy in gray, I get richer.

Strange, ain't it?

That's where I keep the food that I get from the farmers.

This is where I print the newspaper.

And this is where I write down my ideas for what I want to do when I grow up.

Well...

This is what you're doing now. Heaven only knows what you're going to do when

you grow up.

I think you have a hearing problem, Rebecca.

Is that true, Ralph?

Has anyone ever tested your hearing?

I'm all right, miss.

Pick up everything I need out of my good ear.

Look, an automatic steam person.

Yep, I call him Steaming Joe.

See, what I do is I pour the water in here and then light a match or two

underneath here for about 30 seconds.

And that creates steam that goes throughout Steaming Joe.

And then he just sort of walks like this.

He's stealing, Joe.

What for is he?

He's not for anything, I guess.

Just a toy.

Is it a toy, too?

Where did you get it?

Didn't get it from anywhere.

I made it.

But it's the Cardinal's chariot.

I imagine you must find the origins of your fortune somewhat distressing.

I don't quite follow you, sir.

That every drop you drink, every morsel you eat,

It's paid for by young men killing one another.

My guns and bullets don't kill people, Mr. Fogg.

It's people who kill people.

Where did you find that argument?

In quite a crisp cracker.

Are you trying to look down on me, Fogg?

Would that be as a card player?

A war profiteer?

or the human being.

You damned English snob.

I'm not good enough for you, but my money is, huh?

Actually, it isn't.

Oh, and by the way, I've heard mortally wounded Wolverines who can sing better

than you.

Stop right there, sir.

We have business.

There's a little engine that makes these stones go around, and that sort of

creates some energy that keeps it above the ground, and the screws just push it

along through the air.

The same machine you worked on for Cardinal Richelieu.

But I sent that machine away.

How did this boy land it?

Have a look at these.

These are Aztec.

Mm -hmm. The Aztecs had the Phoenix?

How did he know what kind of stones to use?

By trying out every other stone there is.

I like doing that stuff.

And the jumping through the clock. How does he do that?

Huh? He means, how do you make it travel through time?

It doesn't travel through time, mister. Are you nuts? The only way I know how to

travel through time is by staying alive.

Judging.

On the count of three.

We'll each take five paces forward, turn, and fire at will.

One.

Two.

Three.

Will you?

Or will the war just swallow you up? It seems it's swallowed up everything else.

you're playing at.

Saving your life, apparently.

Well, somebody's anyway.

Master, look.

The beat -selling boy is building the Cardinal Chariot out of a picture.

The Phoenix.

He built it from an Aztec drawing.

Must be coming in and out of the fifth dimension. It's the only explanation.

What?

Sorry about knocking you down, mister.

You won't tell the company, will you?

Well, boy, I'll have to think about that.

These have been used.

I can only offer you $20.

That'll be quite acceptable.

It's going to be furious. We're doing this.

We'd be dead if we don't.

You know that he's just put every penny he owns into some crazy gold mining

scheme? He'd be bankrupt by tomorrow.

If that's if he's still alive.

You know he's going to the races this afternoon as a jockey.

So, what do we do now?

Drug his horse?

Here you are, sir.

Take my advice don't let her spend it all on drink How

much for this $20

Now

we have to distract

him with what I have no idea Who is that

It's all right, Jules. I'll see you back at the hotel.

What are Jules?

It's fine.

My dear Miss Bob.

How splendid to see you looking so well.

I trust you've been enjoying your little holiday.

Holiday, Sir Jonathan.

Stopping the League of Darkness from changing the course of the Civil War.

It's hardly what one would call a rest cure.

Yes, well, you were acting on your own initiative, not Secret Service

instructions.

Commendable, but risky. Now I want you back.

I'm afraid you're going to have to wait, Sir Johnson.

Phileas is in a spot of trouble. Your cousin's problems can hardly be allowed

stand in the way of your duty to your country.

This is a rather unusual circumstance.

Miss Falk.

Just because your late guardian was once head of the Secret Service, it doesn't

give you any special privileges, do you know?

In fact, rather the reverse.

I expect you to follow orders just like everyone else.

Sir Jonathan, Phileas is seriously disturbed.

Is he indeed?

Well, knowing Fogg, he's probably brought his difficulties upon himself.

They were the direct result of his helping us in a time of great need.

Your cousin is perfectly capable of looking after himself.

According to my newspaper, he's just doubled his fortune.

Where is he, then?

Now, I want you to go to Mexico.

It seems that Louis Napoleon has decided to invade.

And London has considerable financial interests at stake. Thank you, Sir

Jonathan.

Where are you going?

Hello, gentlemen.

Looking for a friend of ours, Al.

Al the newsboy.

We ain't seen him for weeks.

Gave up.

Went west. He joined the army. God, it threw him off the train for blowing up

the baggage car.

I went exactly in.

Night and heart, sir.

It is most wonderful to see me.

Thank you, sir.

I have a mission for you, Phileas.

Oh, do tell me.

There's no need to wait for passport two to finish my twilight.

There is a New York surgeon who had just operated on a young girl who had been

deaf since birth and completely cured her hearing.

Whoopee. Passport two, crack open the champagne.

And? And perhaps he can help young Al.

The newspaper boy, you remember?

I doubt that even so energetic a newspaper boy as young Al earns enough

attract the attention of a New York surgeon.

Of course not.

You're going to pay for it.

I beg your pardon?

You heard me.

You've just made more money than you know what to do with.

And if it's about time, you thought about somebody other than yourself.

Really, Rebecca?

Yes, really, Phileas.

Am I not right, Jules? Of course you're right.

We're tired of seeing you mope around in a suicidal fashion, Fogg.

It's time you did some good in the world.

What a pleasant place to part the morning. Thank you so much for bringing

here.

There's no way in.

The doors are bolted, Master.

A kale catastrophe.

Should we be off? No, Phileas, we shan't.

What was it you used to say? Something about never start anything unless you

intend to finish it?

There is nothing more tedious than having one's words of wisdom quoted back

one.

You're coming.

Looking for something, lady?

Yes, I was looking for a young newsboy, name of Al.

Oh, yeah?

Yes.

And who might you be?

Ever heard of the Wolverton Agency, ma 'am?

On contract to the U .S. government.

But Uncle Sam don't keep us too busy.

Lady wants to fight.

Hands up.

Come on.

Not a good idea, I'm thinking.

Give me the gun.

Thank you.

Hold this.

Give me your gun.

Can I rob them and brand them, Mr. Becker?

Like the bull boys do.

What? Just tie them up, I think.

And would you unlock that door?

I advise you real strongly not to go out there, lady.

We're talking about national security here.

How exciting.

You're the lady from the train, right?

Yes. What are you doing here?

What have you done, Al?

It's for the army. They gave me the stuff to make my model into a real

It's got bulletproof shutters and guns and everything. Isn't it great?

But what are you doing here?

This man might be able to help with your hearing.

If you want to have an operation, Phileas is prepared to pay for it.

necessity in that, Miss Fogg.

Young Al has all the money he needs.

What the hell are you up to?

The new bearings have arrived at the depot, Al.

Filton will take you to get them.

I know genius when I see it, Mr. Fogg.

And I know how to develop it.

And that boy has genius.

for making deadly weapons. You have no idea, Fogg.

Mr. Throbworth, if you release this, you will start a new kind of war.

Lightning invasions one country by another.

Cities crushed to rubble by armored... Pastors, the world isn't ready for that.

Then the world had better get ready, Mr. Verne.

We've built Al's machine. We'll test it.

If it works, it will be used.

Nothing you can do to stop it.

It's a great shame I didn't shoot you when we first met.

Never mind about that, Phileas.

What is important now is to get young Al out of here and have the surgeon have a

look at him.

Now, I assume you have no objections to that, Mr. Thrumworth.

Every objection, ma 'am.

I need this boy for the field trials tomorrow.

There'll be modifications, improvements.

Fact is, when you start something like this, there's no stopping.

Oh, but don't worry.

In the end, he'll be a very rich man.

Like you.

If he's lucky.

Over my dead body.

That can be arranged, Mr. Fogg.

Good timing, Captain.

We've just caught a bunch of Confederate spies.

Ready? Take aim!

A sarsaparilla float for the young gentleman.

And if ever a sarsaparilla float was well -deserved, that one is.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Throbworth. It's really good.

Carry on the way you're going, Al.

You'll be able to afford all the sarsaparilla floats your heart desires.

And ice cream.

A tub full of ice cream.

What happened to the folks that came to see me before?

Oh, they've been sent home, Al, and made to promise not to reveal what they've

seen.

Because it's a big secret, ain't it?

I guess it is.

I like the lady. She's real nice.

Nobody's going to hurt them, are they?

Hurt them?

Al, what do you take me for?

I want to show you the new gun out there.

There,

Phil. Not bad at all, eh?

Poof!

I beg your pardon?

We have to make the chariot go poof before it's too late.

Ah, poof.

Why didn't I think of that?

The stones.

Backwardizing the human spirit.

What?

If we reverse the rotational direction of the stones that power the phoenix,

it'll destabilize the energy fields.

Then poof.

Brilliant. What about the boy?

We'll take him with us.

That was for you, Miss Fogg.

With all my love.

I trust the manacles are not too uncomfortable.

But a good audience is so hard to find.

I strongly suspect that our friends in the freight wagon will soon make an

unwise dash for it.

And then...

Are you wanting to play a game of cards with my master, the renowned Pilius

Fogg, from London to England?

Pilius is famed for his skill, you know.

There are people who would travel halfway around the world for a game of

with Pilius Fogg. And wist.

Do either of you play wist?

Here's my suggestion.

If you can guess where he hides the Queen of Hearts, you win this.

I know you have your doubts about the Secret Service, Phileas, but they are

awfully good at these little things.

You see, mister, if you tilt the gun up and down like that, you get a clear line

of fire going back and forward.

Those people that came to see me before, what did you say happened to them?

They're safely in New York.

Forget about them.

They don't care about you like I do.

Why do you ask?

You see that there cogwheel?

It ratchets up the lever and swings the whole thing around.

Real smooth.

I'm kind of pleased with that myself, Mr. Strubworth.

How do you like it?

Very nice.

Very nice.

You and I are making history here, boy.

These guns will fire more bullets and faster than any previous firearm known

man.

Isn't that something to be proud of?

I never thought of it that way, Mr. Strubworth.

Your name will be in all the encyclopedias.

of being a war dog?

Oh, God.

It's a Confederate ambush.

Let's get out of here.

What do we do about these two?

Let's move north, sir. Looks like a Confederate raid.

Possibility they might take the train, sir.

Our job is to protect the Phoenix, Captain.

You have to make sure we're safe.

The thing is, sir, that vehicle could save us.

If you want to stay alive, Mr. Throbware, I suggest you get that

yours working right away.

from reaching the Yankees. And we are not going to let the general down, are

boys? No!

No! We are going to go one better than that.

We are going to get every Union gun and bullet and bottle barrel off that train

for the Confederacy. Am I right, boys?

Yeah!

Thanks to us, General Lee is going to march right into that battle and shoot

those damn Yankees with their own...

is there

any

sign of him nope there's nowhere to be found

thrombus car is deserted did you try the other freight wagons

What about the boy?

No.

We hoped he was with you.

Damn Yankee.

Genius sons of bitches, ain't they?

They may not have as many gentlemen as we do, but they got mechanics coming out

of their ears.

Fill it full of that, boys!

We just condemned that boy to death.

Did you hear what we got?

We're going to get him out of there.

But the whole battlefield is covered with whooshing bullets, Master.

True, Class Bar 2.

But beside the point.

Go on, Phil.

We'll cover you.

I'm coming with you, Bog.

It's working, Mr. Cromwell, it's working!

We should have burned something here, didn't we?

Why, heck we did, boy.

Let's try the gun.

Look at that, Al.

The future of warfare.

Is there any chance of you undoing that sabotage, Bert?

You sabotaged my fight machine?

Study, Al. No sudden movement. Go.

This is a killing machine which neither side is ready for. And as far as I am

concerned, neither side is going to have it.

Step away from those controls or I'll put a bullet through you.

Really?

Is this in a poker game, damn it?

Move or I'll shoot!

Not you, Mr. Byrne.

Spears, you've damaged the hysteric, throbber.

You maniac.

You've killed us all.

Let's go back to the others.

I've

got

a score to settle with you and your damn machine.

I'm all right, miss.

But I want to go home.

Well, how about New York for that operation?

It's real nice of you, ma 'am, but I don't think I'm quite ready to jump

into that.

Well, surely you'd like to hear like everyone else.

Most will never have anything worth listening to, Mr. Verne.

Besides, the interesting stuff's up here.

Or it's quiet.

I kind of like the idea of keeping it that way.

Quiet.

So would it be all right if I went home?

Yeah, it sounds like a very good idea indeed.

Pittsburgh train, please select passenger.

Telegraph hut, 8.

All by electricity.

There's nothing you can't accomplish with electricity, Al.

Someday people will move through electricity. People will be able to

each other with electricity.

They'll even be able to conquer the darkness with it.

Somebody figured out how.

Somebody like you.

Provided you don't waste your genius and turn into a monster like Throbworth.

Don't worry about that, Mr. Fogg. Not all the money in the world ain't gonna

lure me back into that stuff.

Al built the Phoenix.

I'm done with Al.

What do you mean, done with Al?

I was short for Alba, which ain't my real name.

My real name's Tom.

Really screwed up, didn't I, Mr. Fogg?

Well, we all do that.

What you do next, it counts.

By the way, thank you for what you did back there.

It's for the fair.

That's way too much, mister.

Consider it as an investment in your next invention.

You see, I have something of an interest in the future.

For me?

No, no, no, thank you. Thank you, but I couldn't possibly.

Thank you. I want him to have it. The guy that talks funny.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Bye, Al.

You have a long and happy life.

And you do wonderful things.

On the board!

By the way, Tom, you never told us your last name.

Edison, Mr. Burns.

Thomas Alva Edison.

So,

Phileas, what's next on the agenda?

Hmm.

Getting rid of that appalling machine, my dear coven.

It's not something I think one can just leave lying around.

If you see what I mean.

Shall we be off?

Gentlemen.

And so began our adventures in the West.

While the war raged behind us, a whole new continent lay ahead, waiting to be

explored.