Original subtitles

Maybe the world is blind Or just a little unkind

Don't know Things you can't be sure

Of anything anymore Although

You

Just wait and see.

Are you going to throw a card or not?

How about this one?

Not that either?

Here, you pick one.

Dang it.

Thanks a lot, Brandon.

Sure. Does that the thinking shift?

Please, Henry, I'm having trouble concentrating on my Civil War battles.

Hey, I bet listening to Michael Jackson will help us remember Stonewall Jackson.

That'll do it for me. Rock and roll is the answer to everything.

It's better than penicillin.

Put on WHXY. They play the best homework music.

You girls really shouldn't be doing homework with the radio on.

Your girl is right, so let's forget the homework and boogie.

This is WHXY.

Folks,

we've changed our format, so instead of contemporary music, you're going to hear

old -time radio.

Old -time radio?

Old -time radio?

That's right, old -time radio.

For the next 90 minutes, you're going to hear The Shadow.

The Lone Ranger and Inner Sanctum.

Do you know what this means?

Yeah, it means we're turning it off.

Not so fast.

This means you'll be able to hear some of the classic radio shows from the good

old days.

When we were young, they didn't have television.

When you were young, they didn't have electricity.

I was crazy about those old comedies.

My idol was Jack Benny.

Naturally, he was cheap.

I used to love the scary shows.

I was so frightened I used to hide my face.

That's still a good idea.

girls, don't forget to enter WHXY's annual radio show contest.

The winners will get to perform their original script live on WHXY.

The Imagination Station.

What a great idea, girls. Think of the fun of writing and performing your own

radio show.

There's much fun in having your teeth drilled.

And you don't even get to rinse and fit.

You know, Henry's right.

For once.

Why don't you enter this contest?

No way.

And here's the biggie, kids. The winner gets an exciting, all -expense -paid

trip to Disneyland.

I'll get the pencils. I'll get the paper.

Guys,

could you take these children with you? Thank you very much.

Good afternoon.

I have two eager young writers here.

Oh, well, hello there, eager young writers. I take it you want to enter our

contest. You take it right.

Disneyland is our life.

Oh, good.

Got a real Mickey Mouse attitude there.

Well, look, just fill those out and have a parent or guardian sign them. You

keep your radio play under five minutes and provide your own sound effects.

Sound effects?

Well, for instance, uncorking a bottle and pouring wine.

Hey,

you've got talent.

Oh, thank you.

Now, the question is, do you?

You see, our first prize will be given based on creativity and originality.

And from the way you're dressed, I'd say you're loaded with both.

Go get them, girls.

Hold it.

We sure will.

We're pumped.

That's it. Use this enthusiasm. You're on your way.

Where to?

Peoria?

You better find out what second prize is. I've got Disneyland all wrapped up.

Oh, yeah?

Says who? Says me.

And who are you?

Garth Goobler.

I've been winning radio contests since I could talk.

You're related to Gavin Goobler, the famous radio writer?

Kind of. He's our father.

Wow.

Kids, Gavin Goobler is a brilliant creative genius.

Ah, he's a has -been.

We're the Gooblers of tomorrow.

We've written a dynamite script for this contest.

You might as well go home.

You know, you're the most conceited creep I've ever seen.

Wait till you see me in a couple of years.

Come on, girls.

Let's go.

Oh, girls.

Don't forget to give me your addresses.

Why? So we can send you a postcard from Disneyland.

All right.

Why aren't you working on your radio show?

Why bother? Garth Goobler's going to gobble up the prize.

That's no attitude.

treasure that thought.

It's just you're not a famous writer like his father.

But you have your own talent.

First of all, you have a marvelous imagination.

I do?

Of course.

Whenever I ask you to do some chores, you come up with some brilliant excuses.

Yeah, but that's easy.

Writing's hard.

Why should I do all that work just to lose?

Perhaps you're right.

Wimping out is the best way.

I'm not... whipping out?

You're willing to accept second best.

Now, whenever anybody says they're better than you, you'll accept it.

Henry. When it comes to being an astronaut, you're probably settled for

backup pilot.

Henry. Yes.

I know what you're doing.

You're using reversible psychology on me.

Me?

You think you're going to get me all stoked up.

So instead of quitting, I want to be out those goofy Googlers.

I can read you like a book.

announce the winner yet? No.

I'm so nervous.

I'm really nervous. This is my third box of Cracker Jacks. Your fourth?

Too bad this isn't a pig out contest.

Oh, they have those?

Hi there.

Hi there.

Well, we're ready to see who's going to go to Disneyland.

We don't want to seem too overconfident, but as you noticed, we're all ears.

I'm gonna barf.

Count the winning play in the 14 to 11 -year -old category.

This is it, girls.

I've got my fingers crossed.

I've got everything crossed.

Okay. The winner in our radio playwriting contest is... Punky Goobler!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a tie. The winner is Punky and Goobler. I

mean, Garth and Grant Goobler and... Punky Brewster and Cherry Johnson!

Tonight we'll broadcast both scripts and then we'll announce our final winner.

I knew you could do it.

And we're going to pin your ears back.

Come on. Let's celebrate.

Hey, you little rat.

Don't sweat it, Garth. Your script's probably a piece of junk.

Actually, I read it. It's pretty darn good.

I zeroxed a copy.

You mean if you can't, we can lose?

No way. I got a surefire can't -miss plan to bomb him out.

Disneyland, here we come.

Good

evening,

and welcome to WHXY.

Tonight, our radio show contest battled out for that trip to Disneyland.

And now, listen with your minds as the Goober Boys perform Hit One For

Me, Babe, the stirring story of Babe Ruth.

Babe Ruth? Is this about a candy bar?

No, it's baseball.

In a hospital room, a little boy lies in a bed as the door opens.

Babe Ruth, the great baseball star, walks to the bed.

Is that you, babe?

Yeah,

it's me, kid.

I prayed you'd come.

Nothing could keep me away.

Your mom told me that you're real sick, that...

You may.

He may.

Do something for me, babe.

Name it, kid.

It's a game today.

Hit a homer. Hit one for me, babe.

Sure, kid.

When I point to center field, that one's for you. Now you do me a favor and get

better fast.

Got it? Got it, babe.

It's tense out here at Yankee Stadium, folks. Last of the... score tied.

The crowd is waiting.

The great Babe Bruce steps up to the plate. Come on, Babe!

There's the wind -up. And the pitch!

Strike one!

The Babe looks nervous.

Here's the wind -up. And the pitch!

Strike two!

The Babe steps out of the box, knocks the

dirt off, and confidently steps back up to the plate.

goober boys just tear your heart out we'll be right back with our last

finalists in 10 short minutes in the meantime please listen to the charming

sounds of this recreation of the 1906 san francisco earthquake

boy we are great do you see the way

everyone's crying

You died.

Now to make absolutely sure we can't lose.

How can we do that?

It'll be pretty hard for those girls to do a radio show without any sound

effects.

I wonder who would do such a nasty thing.

You, you're a worm!

And you're a worm's brother.

Gee, it's bad you can't prove anything.

Well, kids, you all ready?

No, we're dead.

We can't prove it, but the Googlers saw a sound effect.

Why, those little worms!

Nine minutes, girls.

You've got to give them more time.

There's been a major theft here.

In eight minutes and 50 seconds, we'll have dead air.

Have you ever heard dead air?

Look, girls, you're either on the air or you're out of here.

Well, girls, you tried your best.

Punky, you're not going to let those grublers beat you. Come on, think.

Your mind is always full of something.

Henry, don't you ever give up?

Not when it comes to you.

Now, here's the plan.

It's a scavenger hunt. We search the station for anything we can find that we

can use for a sound effect.

We meet back here in two minutes.

Bunky, you and Cherry will write a new script based on what we find.

All right, we'll save the day yet.

Six seconds, girls.

Five seconds.

Four seconds. Three seconds.

Two seconds.

Okay, we're ready.

And now, for our second presentation.

The exciting tale of Gunga Din by Rudyard Kipling.

It's not by Rudyard Kipling?

Oh, it's not Gunga Din. Then what is it?

A horror -filled ghost story.

and ghost stories.

Tonight, three innocent young sisters face abdominal evil as they fight the

headless horsemen of Horror House.

It was a

dark and stormy night.

Thunder.

Horrible.

was totally original. Nice try, though.

Thanks a bunch.

To the words, cheaters never prosper mean anything to you.

Oh, let's go.

Boy, did you blow it. Next, you're all in charge.

I'm so proud of you.

And I'm so proud of...

over yet.

What do you mean?

We still have to return this to the ladies' room.