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1
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:16,270
Maybe the world is blind or just a
little unkind.
2
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,550
Don't know.
3
00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:26,970
Seems you can't be sure of anything
anymore.
4
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:30,640
I have my skirt hemmed.
5
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,740
Well, you shouldn't be embarrassed.
6
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:36,560
None of your friends are going to see
you.
7
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,460
Besides, everyone knows you're all dog.
8
00:01:41,540 --> 00:01:42,540
You're welcome.
9
00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:45,440
Isn't it great miniskirts are coming
back?
10
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,240
Fortunately, you've got the legs for
them.
11
00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:11,510
I better go get you some milk to wash
down the thorium.
12
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,070
Hello?
13
00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:19,570
Good afternoon. Is this H. Warnemont?
14
00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:20,790
No, it's P.
15
00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:24,430
Brewster. Well, it doesn't matter as
long as you have a little ambition and a
16
00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:25,430
lot of cash.
17
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:26,470
Huh?
18
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:29,870
Congratulations, P. Brewster. This is
the luckiest day of your life.
19
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,150
It is?
20
00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:36,310
Tell me, are you tired of never having
enough cash, scrimping and saving,
21
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,490
cutting corners and still ending up
short?
22
00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:40,520
Hey, who are you calling short?
23
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:47,920
With just a small investment, I can help
you add hundreds, no, thousands of
24
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,280
dollars to your yearly income.
25
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:50,520
Are you interested?
26
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,480
Sure. What do I have to do?
27
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:54,359
Don't worry.
28
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,720
It's nothing kinky. A child could do it.
29
00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:58,000
Now you're talking.
30
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,800
Here's a nice front row seat.
31
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:14,500
Will this take long?
32
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,300
I have snow to shovel.
33
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,520
Oh, relax, Henry.
34
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:21,040
Don't get your ear flaps in an uproar.
35
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,460
Allow me to introduce Miss Punky
Brewster.
36
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,880
Thank you, Miss Johnson.
37
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:39,500
Carrie and I are proud to announce that
we want to go in business for ourselves.
38
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,160
Good. I can't wait to hear about it.
39
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,060
We want to sell Lady Contempo cosmetics.
40
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,740
And all we need from you guys is $500.
41
00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:49,340
Meeting adjourned.
42
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:55,860
Wait! That includes the sample kit and
the official distributor's license.
43
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,740
But $500 is a lot of money.
44
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,720
Henry, Henry, Henry.
45
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,680
You've got to spend money to make money.
46
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,420
Then you should have invited a
millionaire to this meeting.
47
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,899
Henry, these children are showing some
ambition.
48
00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:19,079
The least we can do is hear them out.
49
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,680
But... That's right. Put it there.
50
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,520
Look at all this fabulous stuff. Lady
Kintepo has everything.
51
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:29,420
Wrinkle -away.
52
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,040
Skin cream.
53
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:32,680
Hair conditioner.
54
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,240
Men's cologne.
55
00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:38,820
Mmm, this hand cream feels smooth.
56
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:44,500
Mmm. The cologne is very provocative,
yet naive.
57
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,280
Interesting blend. Has legs.
58
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:56,660
Listen to what Miss Spalding Keebler
from Bemidji, Minnesota has to say.
59
00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:00,880
Lady Contempo face cream brought new
meaning to my face.
60
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,700
My husband loves the new me, and so does
my boyfriend.
61
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:09,660
Henry, this... This might be a good
idea.
62
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,300
Every woman I know spends a fortune on
cosmetics.
63
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,080
That's because every woman you know is
ugly.
64
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,820
And think of all the ugly people we
know. Just in this building alone.
65
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:27,860
If we do invest, what can we expect for
our $500?
66
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,500
I need one item from this sample kit as
our gift to you.
67
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:36,740
There's more snow being shoveled in here
than outside.
68
00:05:38,859 --> 00:05:40,720
Please, make us an offer.
69
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:46,720
Well, the way I see it, if we put up 100
% of the initial investment, we should
70
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,880
get back at least 50 % of the profits.
71
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,660
Thank you, Payne Webber.
72
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,080
Boy, you drive a hard bargain.
73
00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:55,760
But we can live with it.
74
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,140
How about it, Henry? Is it a deal?
75
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,760
All right.
76
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,180
It's a deal.
77
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:17,989
You're late.
78
00:06:17,990 --> 00:06:18,990
I am?
79
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:25,410
Yes. We agreed to meet at 8 o 'clock.
And according to Mickey here, it's 8
80
00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:27,530
I was hungry.
81
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,610
So I wanted to eat some breakfast.
82
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:32,110
Cherry, we're in business.
83
00:06:32,690 --> 00:06:34,990
Business people are supposed to be
punctual.
84
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:38,810
Do you think we'll eat Iacocca? We'd be
late just so we could stuff his face.
85
00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:44,530
Well, from the looks of it, you might
say he stuffed his face a few times.
86
00:06:48,940 --> 00:06:50,740
get started. Are there any questions?
87
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,820
Just one. When's lunch?
88
00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:55,720
You are hopeless.
89
00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:59,720
Actually, I'm nervous. I've never sold
anything door to door before.
90
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,440
The most important thing is sincerity.
91
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,560
Now, give me a nice sincere smile.
92
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,700
Forget sincere.
93
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,240
Just do what I do, okay?
94
00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:17,900
Okay, as long as one of the things you
do is have lunch.
95
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,240
Who is it?
96
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,380
It's Punky and Sherry.
97
00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,500
Be right with you, girls.
98
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,120
One of the best sales techniques is to
flatter them.
99
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:40,860
Let's flatter Mrs.
100
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,080
Yurtsoff.
101
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,840
I'll try, but I know I'll laugh if she
isn't wearing her teeth.
102
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:52,850
Care for a cookie?
103
00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:53,870
Nothing.
104
00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:55,270
I'll take them.
105
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:58,190
I haven't eaten lunch yet.
106
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:00,710
Well, now, what can I do for you?
107
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,850
Oh, well, we were going to try and sell
you some cosmetics.
108
00:08:04,210 --> 00:08:06,170
But it's obvious you don't need any.
109
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,050
Oh, come on.
110
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:10,050
Really?
111
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:16,070
Well, we've got skin cream, but your
skin is already so smooth.
112
00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:19,410
Yeah, and you're lucky to have so much
of it.
113
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:30,960
great for double chins.
114
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,940
But all your chins are really lovely.
115
00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:39,020
It would be hard to decide which ones
you go.
116
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:48,620
Cherry lay off her chins. But Henry says
she needs a bookmark to find her
117
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,620
pearls.
118
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,240
You know, honey, I think I will take
some of this skin tightener.
119
00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:05,090
Smells just like lilac. Oh, I think I'll
take a bottle of this, too.
120
00:09:05,550 --> 00:09:08,710
What size will she be? Small, medium, or
blue?
121
00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:19,370
Margot, could I interest you in some
Lady Contempo nail polish?
122
00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:23,170
I have my own manicurist.
123
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,810
How about some shampoo?
124
00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,510
I have my own beautician.
125
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,260
How about some body oil?
126
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,940
I have my own masseuse.
127
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:39,940
How about buying all this stuff anyway,
because you're rich?
128
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:41,920
Okay.
129
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,400
Henry, great news! We're hit!
130
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:52,360
After lunch, we sold $900 worth of
beauty gunk.
131
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,600
That's wonderful!
132
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:59,360
Punky, Cherry, I want to congratulate
you both on your efforts to rise out of
133
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:00,360
this lower...
134
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:01,720
poverty pit.
135
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:03,640
Thanks, Margo.
136
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:10,460
We're almost completely sold out. All we
have left is one bottle of bubble bath.
137
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:14,740
You want it, Margo? It'll save you the
trouble of putting your money away.
138
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:16,720
Good idea.
139
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,620
I'm gonna buy a new skateboard with my
money. How about you, Punky?
140
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,620
I'm taking Henry to Disneyland.
141
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,220
Oh, now, wait a minute.
142
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:34,600
We could waste our profits on
frivolities, or we could reinvest this
143
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,960
more cosmetics, and triple our profits.
What do you think?
144
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,000
Triple our profits works for me.
145
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,680
Leave the dishes for later. We've got to
get down to Lady Contempo and buy more
146
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,680
stuff.
147
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,420
And this morning, I woke up next to it.
148
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,940
Look on the bright side, Henry.
149
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,100
It'll save you about two years' worth of
haircut.
150
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,900
And spend it all on sunscreen for my
head?
151
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:28,600
Who is this?
152
00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:29,820
It's Betty.
153
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000
That's all I need.
154
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,800
Her making fun of me.
155
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:49,620
I give up.
156
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:51,640
How do I get this mask off?
157
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,960
It's supposed to peel off.
158
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,340
I peeled. I scrubbed. I chipped.
159
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,700
I even got on my knees and begged.
160
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,360
Nothing.
161
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,400
You want my opinion? It's an
improvement.
162
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,300
Why are you wearing that stupid hat?
163
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:33,940
Target for ridicule, right?
164
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:39,660
Agreed. We have the clear choice of
either totally humiliating each other or
165
00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:43,260
showing compassion for each other, not
mentioning one word about our respective
166
00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:45,220
problems. What do you say?
167
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,040
It's a deal, melonhead.
168
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,020
Melonhead? Yeah, I would have called you
Mr.
169
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:58,440
Clean, but you're 40 years too old and
50 pounds too flat.
170
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,660
I wouldn't talk if I were you.
171
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,360
You look like a smurf with a gland
problem.
172
00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:43,890
Mr. Yutsov, we'll refund your money.
173
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,100
Tempo shampoo fried his head.
174
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:33,180
Hello?
175
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,740
Oh, Mrs. Rufferman.
176
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,920
Oh, you tried Lady Contempo massage oil.
177
00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:01,390
lady can temple and make mincemeat out
of.
178
00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:04,930
I can't. Daddy's flying me to the Mayo
Clinic.
179
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,130
Hold the mayo.
180
00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:09,470
Itching will go away.
181
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,610
I'm sure it will.
182
00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:14,630
I'm sorry, Margo.
183
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,630
Not as sorry as you're gonna be when you
get the bill.
184
00:16:36,390 --> 00:16:38,870
Look, everybody, I'll go and get
dressed.
185
00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:44,710
Then we'll go down to the Lady Contempo
headquarters, calmly explain our
186
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:48,470
problem, and request a refund for our
capital investment.
187
00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:51,010
Well, what if they don't give it back?
188
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,700
This is room 315.
189
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,819
Maybe they went to lunch.
190
00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,859
I wonder what they're having.
191
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:36,620
Good afternoon, Lady Contempo. All of
our order takers are busy now.
192
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:37,880
Please hold.
193
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,080
That's the same message I got when I
called.
194
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,080
You could have been on hold all the way
through high school.
195
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,060
Gang, I think we've been had.
196
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,000
Check around.
197
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,360
a clue where he went.
198
00:17:58,300 --> 00:17:59,660
Look what we found.
199
00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:02,300
Here's a bottle of shampoo.
200
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:06,780
Here's a bottle of Contempo Furniture
Stripper.
201
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:10,080
It's the same stuff with different
labels.
202
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:12,500
No wonder my hair fell out.
203
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,900
I'm lucky I have skin.
204
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:17,920
And look.
205
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,640
The face.
206
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,560
is in the same jar as the kitchen floor
wet.
207
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,720
Well, at least your face won't get waxy
yellow buildup.
208
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:32,000
Hey, what are you folks doing here?
209
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,320
It's him!
210
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,180
Hey, what are you doing, lady?
211
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:40,460
I'm getting you ready for a contemptible
coffin.
212
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,720
Chicago Police Department?
213
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,380
Sergeant Denko from Punco.
214
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:55,980
Oh, pleased to meet you. Yeah. I'm a
registered nurse.
215
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:59,820
I want you to consider that deep muscle
massage on the house.
216
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,200
Have you caught these guys yet?
217
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,280
Nah, it's the third time I've missed
them.
218
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,620
They set up in a boiler room like this,
make a couple of hundred calls, and reel
219
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:13,800
in some gullible dolts who throw their
cash after a pipe dream.
220
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,500
Boy, do I feel stupid.
221
00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:22,070
This guy's been working scams all across
the country.
222
00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:26,070
He preys on people's greed and the
desire to make a quick million.
223
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:32,170
And if it's not cosmetics, it's cheap
condos or free Hawaiian holidays.
224
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:38,590
In some cases, people lose their life
savings and end up looking like that.
225
00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:44,030
Well, if folks come with me, we'll make
a statement.
226
00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:47,030
Well, whatever it takes to book them,
Dan -o.
227
00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:51,730
You're welcome.
228
00:19:59,170 --> 00:20:00,510
Aren't you coming, Punky?
229
00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:03,630
There's something I don't understand.
230
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:08,610
That guy who called me was out to rob me
from the very beginning?
231
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:10,690
I'm afraid so.
232
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:14,090
Why would anyone do that?
233
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:19,210
Some people just aren't as honest as
they should be.
234
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,960
I'll never trust anyone again.
235
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:24,480
No, that's not the answer either.
236
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,220
Remember the first time you fell off
your bike?
237
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,900
Yeah, that hurt.
238
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,060
But you didn't throw your bike away.
239
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,540
Kept on riding.
240
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,480
Only you became more careful.
241
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,400
It's the same with people.
242
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,540
Just because you meet one bad one, you
don't stop trusting everyone.
243
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,580
You just become more careful.
244
00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:49,020
That's pretty smart.
245
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:53,100
I'm so smart.
246
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,860
Why am I the only guy in Chicago who
loves his money and his hair?
247
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:08,740
Hello, Kate.
248
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,380
Which one of you clowns this lady can
temple?
18840
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