Original subtitles

Maybe the world is blind Or just a little unkind

Don't know Things you can't be sure

Of anything anymore

and mustard.

Thanks.

Well done.

The work.

Thanks.

Well, what about me? I'm rare.

You're not rare. You're strange.

I canceled your burger.

Well, how would you like me to cancel your teeth?

You know how mean I get at feeding time.

It's time you broadened your culinary horizons. You've broadened everything

else.

You like sushi?

Sushi? Who's she?

Not a who.

It's a what?

Japanese delicacy.

Is it possible to lose your lunch before you've eaten it?

Trust me, Betty. You'll love it. It's a raw fish.

What do I look like, Morris the Cat?

Come on, try some.

This is tuna wrapped in seaweed.

I like my tuna wrapped in a tin can.

Bye. Where are you going?

To get an American delicacy.

Two chili dogs and an Alka -Seltzer.

Just as well.

I'm going to take my sushi and watch a rerun of Shogun.

If you knew Sushi like I know Sushi.

Oh, hi, Spot.

Hello, Mr. Johnson.

Hey, babe.

What are you doing here, Blugner?

Thought we could start it on our class project, Punky.

What class project?

The one I'm doing on toxic waste.

Mrs. Winston said I needed a partner, so I picked you.

But there are 9 ,000 kids in our school. Why me?

Just lucky, I guess.

I don't want to work on waste with you.

Are you going to finish that burger?

I haven't even started it yet.

Good.

No.

Who'd your girls ask to the Sadie Hawkins dance?

Nobody. Really?

Well, I haven't exactly said yes to anybody yet.

You mean you haven't exactly been asked by anybody yet?

I'm saving myself for Ms. Wright.

And hint.

Forget it, bud.

Cherry, who'd you ask?

Stanley Knuckleborn.

You're willing to be seen in public with noodle nose?

dropped him after he was born.

Now it's me you get undamaged goods.

So what do you say, sweet lips?

Take me, I'm yours.

Sorry, but you're just not my type. If my type changes, I'll call you.

Honky, you promised you'd ask somebody so we could double.

I know.

Maybe I can help you out here.

who you just might like.

He's macho, funny, and you get free tickets for every concert in town.

Free tickets? Okay, you got my attention.

What's his name?

Farley.

Farley.

Hey, don't judge a dude by his handle.

Okay, what does this Farley guy look like?

Well, he's kind of a cross between Rob Lowe and Tom Cruise.

Only cuter.

Okay, I'll think about it. Get him on the phone.

Good. I'll go call him from the other room.

Why not call from here?

Punky, I have to set it up.

Farley usually likes blondes. This will take a selling job.

Sorry, I'm nervous.

How does my hair look?

Punky, it's a phone call.

I know.

But I don't want to sound like a mad.

It's ringing. I'll tell you when to pick it up.

Hi, Mom.

It's me, Farley.

history book down the laundry room.

Would you go check it out?

Thanks, Mom.

Okay, Punky, pick it up.

Hello, Farley.

Speaking. You must be Punky.

Spud says you're a baby.

Really? You sound cute.

Yeah, well, Spud said some nice things about you, too.

Is it true you can get free tickets to any concert in town?

Yeah, for the right.

Yeah, well, that's me. And you see, we're having the Sadie Hopkins dance,

you do know how to dance, don't you?

Do dead fish float.

Great. And would you like to go with me?

I sure would.

And I guarantee we're going to have one incredible, awesome, fantastic

time. Of course, you realize this will break hearts all over town.

invitation. You're hooked.

it too soon to call you dad oh punky what kind

of flowers do you like daisies with you

What he did was sneaky.

Right. On the other hand, you don't want to hurt Spud's feelings. But, Henry...

Then again, he deserves it. Right. On the other hand... Henry, please, I don't

have any more hands.

Rejection can be very painful, Punky.

I'm sure that whatever you decide will be the right thing.

Unless it's the wrong thing.

I love digital talk.

to my environment.

So big is the city dump.

My turkey pot pie is ready. Want some?

Got any ketchup?

Sure, Rudy.

Forget the turkey, turkey.

We gotta get something straight right now.

I'm not taking you to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

Of course you are.

You love me.

Are you nuts? I never said I love you.

Now is as good a time as any.

Spud, watch my lips.

Punky is not taking you to the dance.

But what about the tuxedo I bought?

Custom made. What about the wrist corsage? Special order from Hawaii.

I even bought a razor in case I have a beard by then.

Look, Spud, this is all your fault. I am not changing my mind. Let's go, Cherry.

All right.

Over you.

Man must have his woman. It's the law of nature.

Ever hear the law of gravity?

Cherry, we've got to do something.

You're right.

I'll go move my bike.

God, you got to them in time. Yeah, you kids are lucky to be alive.

It's a good thing we were able to pick you off that nose.

And you, young lady, did a fine job of notifying us and giving us accurate

directions.

Hey, thanks.

I'm sorry our truck ran over your bike.

What?

Thank you, Fireman Freevis.

In the future, I promise to keep a closer eye on my daughter.

Where was your close eye when that little vixen was luring my Farley out on

ledge? Oh, see here, Mrs. Blugner.

My daughter's no vixen. It was your Farley who did the luring.

My, you're forceful.

And tall.

And lucky, too.

Lucky? Yes.

I'm divorced.

Punky, if you ever do anything like that again, I'll... I'll... Please don't do

anything like that again.

I won't. I promise, Henry.

Let's go home.

Wait a minute.

Could I have a second alone?

Alone?

To talk.

Come on, handsome. We'll go downstairs.

I'll show you Farley's baby pictures.

Make it quick.

a few things to say.

Don't bother. I'll save you the trouble.

I'm a jerk. I'm an idiot. I'm a moron.

That's not all.

Also a doofus, a dork, and a dimwit.

That's just the D.

Go ahead.

Hit me with the rest of the alphabet.

Nah. You took all the fun out of it.

I have one question.

Why did you do all this over silly dance?

It's not the dance, bitch.

Well, you know.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

No, I don't.

I'm going to show you how much you mean to me.

Spud loves Punky.

It's all my heart.

Oh, Spud.

Punky, going to the dance with you meant everything to me.

I told all the kids at school about it. Now they just laugh at me.

Of course, they always laugh at me.

It doesn't happen. It'll really hurt.

But I don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything.

How about you? I want to go to the dance with me, either.

I'll decide whether or not to go to the dance with you.

And I've decided to go with you.

Gee, Punky, you're really asking me to the dance?

Yeah. You're actually willing to be seen with me in public?

Yeah. And we'll honeymoon in Bermuda?

Push it, Spud.

Turn around, Punky.

You look beautiful.

Thanks. I can't believe... I'm actually going to the dance with Spud.

Well, look on the bright side.

He's lost weight since his baby pictures.

Well, I gave him some tips on how to act like a human being.

Who knows?

It could even be fun.