Original subtitles

Maybe the world is blind or just a little unkind.

Don't know.

Seems you can't be sure of anything anymore.

Although you...

I love what you've done with the place.

I'm trying to find my.

Your what?

Not my wife, my mom.

Are you dull?

Mikey, couldn't you have given her a decent name?

She does have a decent name. Her name is my.

My is not a name.

Betsy Wetsy is a name.

Henry, she was the first doll I ever had. And I wanted everybody to know she

mine. So I called her mine.

Fascinating. Now, into bed.

I can't sleep without mine. She needs me to hug her at night.

I'm sure you'll both survive.

Now hop in.

Wait a minute.

Here's your doll.

At least most of it.

Mom, I have lost your head again.

Henry, we have to find it.

Look.

Dog germs.

Henry, looks like you're going to have to put it on my head again.

Punky, this doll has had it. She's been to the Dolly Hospital. She's had four

major head glues.

I think the kindest thing is to pull the plug and send her to the Dolly Funeral

Home.

Don't say that. You'll hurt her feelings.

The doll has no...

Maybe next week.

Henry, how would you like if your head fell off and the doctor said, Sorry, I

don't have time to put it on right now.

Maybe next week.

I'd understand how busy he was, and I'd bring my head back a week later.

Henry.

All right.

I'll fix it tomorrow.

And I'll leave it right here on the recovery couch.

Together with my...

Why don't you buy Punky some new toys?

I did.

I got her that wonderful encyclopedia.

And all the hours she spent playing with it.

Well, maybe I could buy her a new doll.

Oh, she'd love it, Henry. And I'd be amazed.

Why is that?

Because you're the cheapest man I know.

The last time you took a dollar bill out of your wallet, it crumbled when it hit

the light.

She won't even miss this beat up old thing.

Wait for me up there.

Okay. And stop running.

Okay.

First determine whether your current is AC or DC.

Washington, it must be AC.

Have you seen my doll?

Oh, yeah.

Mr. Warnemont took care of her this morning.

Good. Why did he leave her on the couch?

Because he threw her down the trash chute.

What?

Come on, let's go down to the basement and get her. No, wait.

It's too late. They already picked up today's trash.

I swear that man belongs in the Bonehead Hall of Fame.

Boy, some doctor he is.

I think it's time that me and Henry have a little talk.

There's no doubt about it. Henry is knee -deep in band...

Congratulations.

Do you take pictures of children?

Children, adults, dogs, parrots, goats, geraniums. If it breathes, I'll shoot

it.

Good.

I'd like to ask you about photographing my children.

How many do you have?

432.

Have you considered separate beds?

Third Street Elementary School?

I'd like you to give me some estimates about photographing my students.

Well, let's see.

on merit.

My merit as a photographer speaks for itself.

Not bad.

But our previous photographer, Joe Kluger, was good, too.

Unfortunately, he was cranky, a very grumpy man.

What I'm looking for is somebody who's really great with kids.

Well, fortunately, you've come to the right man.

I'm known as Mr.

Warmth, Mr. Kindness.

Mr. Uncle Henry.

Ask anyone.

You know how some people have a way with animals.

Dogs come to them. Birds land on their shoulder. Well, I'm that way with

children. I can walk down the street and half a dozen wee tykes will surround

me. Or else they'll run alongside the car and say, please stop and play with

Mr. Uncle Henry.

It's a knack.

I guess I was born with it. In fact... I have an eight -year -old daughter

myself who thinks the sun rises and sets on me.

Henry.

Why, here she is now.

What can I do for you, honey?

You killed my best friend.

I made a mistake.

This is not my daughter.

I never saw her in my life.

Why are you so angry? What did Mr. Uncle Henry do?

He took my favorite doll and stuffed her down the trash chute.

You threw away her favorite doll?

No.

Yes.

But let me explain.

I think I've heard quite enough.

Miss Miller.

Who will take your school pictures?

Joe Kluger. He may be cranky, but at least he's never snuffed a doll.

Please, wait. I haven't told you how much I like your shoes.

How could you do this? You just blew a $5 ,000 account.

And you broke my heart.

A broken heart is one thing, but $5 ,000 is a... Massive coronary.

Who told you about this?

Someone who remained nameless.

Was it a tall, skinny idiot?

No, it wasn't any.

I'll kill him.

Sure, why not? You're getting good at it. Funny.

There was a very good reason why I threw away your doll.

I knew you wouldn't need it anymore.

As soon as you saw...

And that's not all.

This doll speaks five languages.

Bonjour. Buenos dias.

Shalom.

Isn't she great?

Are you kidding? I can't understand a word that doll says.

No problem.

They've thought of everything.

Wilma comes with her own teeny weeny foreign...

Body's on that.

Mrs. Johnson.

Thanks for watching, Punky. I'm sorry I woke you up.

Oh, I wasn't sleeping.

I was just reading this article on eyelid care.

It says you should keep your eyes closed whenever possible.

That way, they last longer.

Right now, the only thing my eyelids need is sleep.

So how'd it go at the dump?

It was an olfactory nightmare.

Imagine... searching for one little doll and its head in the mountain of refuge

of this great metropolis as the stench engulfed me.

I found myself grateful for one thing.

What's that?

That this is the Windy City.

Did you find Funky's doll?

Right here.

Oh, good.

I know it was rough, Henry.

But you did the right thing.

Thank you.

Come on, honey. Wake up. It's time to go to sleep.

I've been out at the dump.

Did you have to bring it down with you?

I was looking for your doll.

Your? Yes.

And I found it.

You did?

I sure did.

But her head was still loose.

So I took her to the finest...

Dolly plastic surgeon in the world. The one that fixed up Ken and Bobby when

they had their yachting accident.

Where is she?

Right in here.

Straight from the recovery room. And we're going to be the first ones to see

her.

I'll take the bandages off so we can see what a good job he did.

He put her head back on perfectly.

Look, the pitch is in evenly with gar.

That's not my.

Sure it is. Sure it is. How are you, my?

She said fine.

No, she didn't. She said that she just came back from the toy store.

No, she didn't.

This is my.

Just before the operation, Mai looked up at me and said, Henry?

as I could, but I just couldn't find her.

So I went to every toy store in town that was open, and finally I found a

that was exactly the same kind as my, and I thought that you'd like her just

much. She may look the same, but she's just not mine.

Why is that beat -up old doll so important to you?

Because my mom gave her to me.

I'm sorry I threw away your doll.

If I could undo it, I would, but I can't.

I just hope that someday you'll forgive me.

Here.

Yes? I just hope you'll forgive me.

For what, dear?

Throwing your favorite pipe down the trash chute.

I forgive you.

We'll name you after the person who found you.

Henry.

What did you say?

Oh, okay.

Henrietta.

Brandon, I want you to meet my new dog.

Henrietta. Henrietta, this is Brandon.

Brandon, this is Henrietta.

Bye.