Original subtitles

Yeah, yeah, so you said that you like the drink and you're still drinking

Yeah, yeah. Top form, brother. Top form. I was talking to Red the other week

when we were in London.

So we're saying we both enjoy London. All of it. It's better than anywhere

in the world, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, well, all of England is, you know.

It's so compact, you can get everywhere and see everything, whatever you want.

So, you know, you haven't got to travel too far, have you? Some of these other

countries, like France, America, it's a terrible place. Oh, America, it's so

big, isn't it? I don't know, there's no way you can do it in a day. We can do

what we like in a day here.

Yeah, and, you know, we have sports and things like that. Look at the variety

you've got. All they've got in America is... and this American football arc.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't knock American football.

The Super Bowl is like the American holiday for sports.

Lots of beer, lots of parties.

Don't knock American sports. Be party to the sports.

Your football is crazy.

I mean, they run around like mad things and don't get anywhere. But they were

here, unlike rugby, yeah?

I think the phrase is rubbish.

Oh, I don't know. Rubby is rubbish.

American football is amazing.

I said the thing is rubbish.

Absolute rubbish. What do you think?

No, no.

I'm easy going. I am. Anyway, you didn't tell us this was an American girl. You

said it was an American bar, but you didn't say it was an American girl in

Hi, I'm American.

You're American.

Yeah, I mean, you guys in America, you can't talk properly. You have to have a

chewing gum.

That's not, that's not. See, do I have any chewing gum?

No chewing gum.

Yeah, she's got you there.

Not all Americans chew chewing gum. At least we can re -elect a president and

not have the same government in over hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of

years. If you don't like them, leave both the motherfucker out.

Really? Well, that's not fair, is it? We get stuck with what we've got.

That's right.

I still think the place is a dump.

Yeah, yeah.

Fair enough. Britain is going to be.

We think it's tip -tops, but we've got a pretty narrow way of life, haven't we?

A pretty narrow view.

You think of all the different peoples in America.

350 million of them, and they're different languages.

What about the real thing? She's doing the show, but what about a bit of SEX?

Do you think they know anything about that?

I don't think they come anywhere near our sound. Oh,

please. I have hoes in different area codes.

I know a lot about sex. Americans are really good at sex.

You really think so? I don't think so. I know so.

Yeah, well, we bought some proof of this, didn't we, really? It's all very

said. No, American dicks, they're bigger, they're stronger, and they pound

lot more, like, stronger.

Well, we heard it. Haven't we heard this before?

Pounding sounds all right, but we're talking about real sex. It's the English

people. Girls and guys.

I mean, I think we're number one. Oh, yeah, no question about it. No, no, no,

no, no, no. You've had a limited education,

I think.

Have you ever seen any English dicks and penises? Have

you seen any? Big, small, long.

What's your experience of this?

What? What?

English? Having a go at us there, isn't she? Is that? No, that's Garth. That's

Nick. That's Nick, yes. No, that's Lane.

Lane? No, how many is she saying? Nothing.

Who are you? You seem to be one like that. The width was like, the girth was

like this.

I had to ask him on like, is it in yet? And then he was there like, mortified.

And I'm just like... Like, what, dude? You have a small dick.

That's not my problem.

We've got to go into more detail. We have got to really find out how good you

think you are. Well, we've got one thing over on them, though. We know what

British girls are the tops at, don't we, really? And a completely American

girl's hand down.

Yes. We know this for certain. Yeah, come on.

That's the difference. We know for certain. It's the blowjob.

Now, how are American girls doing with that?

I bet you've never done it before in your life, have you? Oh, definitely.

Really? Yeah, I know. I deep -throat it. I suck the ball of everything.

Oh, yeah, really? I do my wrists like this.

I didn't think she was young enough.

Old enough.

I lost my virginity when I was 15.

Oh, yeah, that's a bit strong, isn't it? There, there, but still you... You

think you've had some experience?

Americans get the best blowjob.

No, no, no, no, no. You're totally wrong. You can get the best blowjob

There's no way. There is a way, yes.

Bullshit.

That's rubbish.

That's rubbish.

Here we go.

Americans get the best blowjob. Prove it. Prove it.

You have to take out your dick.

What?

Did I stutter?

Yeah. You have to take out your dick.

Okay. Okay. You're going to have some of that. You asked for it. Yes. Do it.

I'm going to suck it that American way. No, that's not right. Come on. You'll be

eating stars and stripes. Move your heart.

I'm done with you.

You'll be eating stars and stripes. Yeah, that's it.

Come on. Here we go. Here we go. We're ready.

That's it, right. We get our show. Oh, that's it, Americans and their big

Bloody Americans and their dicks. Let's try this then. Yeah, that's it, right.

Here we go. Try this for one.

Yeah, that's right. Try this for another one.

Here we go.

See what you can do.

Oh, that's it, right. Here we go.

Yeah, that's it, yeah. Come on, that's right. There we are. Come on then, get

on.

That's it, on the job. That's it. Just shows how good you are.

That's it, he's standing up there. Let's see what an American can do with a

dick, an English dick.

Come on then.

That's it, come on, there we go, yeah, that's it.

Yeah, that's, oh, that's right, give it some air, come on, that's it, that's it,

let's see what you do with that magic stud.

That's it.

Oh, yeah, that's it. Oh, yeah.

Oh,

come on, that's it. Oh, she's getting better. You've got to try harder than

that. Yeah, that's it. Oh, just suck it. You don't need to wink.

Just suck it. Go on.

Oh.

That's it, couple of girls she's given it a try, but mine was pretty good

actually, I've got to give her that, you know, that's it. What was yours like?

She's a bit better, yeah, she's alright.

That's right, get a bit of work done. You're doing pretty good. Yeah, very

willing, you know.

We could be wrong, we could be wrong. That's it.

Yeah. But she's better.

No, I don't know. I think she's going to be proved right. Yes, that's what I

said. She's leading us to it, yeah.

She's sucking it right there.

She's doing that, though.

Good old America.

So what do you think about Americans now?

Good old America. Well done. Well, you know what, guys?

I'm getting a little horny now. The one of you is going to have to fuck me.

You're gonna catch fives in his mouth.

You'll get it. Yes, you're going to get it. The best there is.

Well, I only want one.

My vagina can't take two at the same time. But the other one can come back

tomorrow.

Right. Right. So if it's one of them, who's it going to be then? I reckon we

ought to toss a coin.

Yeah, yeah. I've got a coin. Yeah, yeah. I'm happy with it. Okay, yeah. Here we

go. Ed's, I'll go. Ed's, you're going to go. Right.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is.

What is it? It's Ed's. It's Ed. Yeah. You've got it. Oh, no. No, that's it.

well, I can wait till tomorrow. She's worth waiting for, isn't she? Okay,

It's me. Yeah, yeah, great.

Off you go, then, right?

Yeah. I'll see you in a minute. And I'll see you later.

I want that chicken on a plate too.

What's this?

True American quality.

Oh, keep on going.

Oh, good.

Oh.

That's better.

Yeah.

Do you like it?

Do you need to go to the cock? Mm -hmm.

Good quality English dick. I wanted my pussy.

I

must

have been wrong about him when I think of this.

I don't like those balls.

Ah!

I'm going to be miserable.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

How about right there?

You'll find me right there.

oh yeah

go

Right? I'll show you.

Oh my god.

oh oh

mm -hmm

What do you think about American Girls?

You win.

Damn straight I do. You win.

God bless America.

God bless the Queen.