Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

[MUSIC STARTS]

* I'VE GOT THE MOVES, BABY *

* YOU'VE GOT THE MOTION *

* IF WE GOT TOGETHER *

* WE'D BE CAUSIN' A COMMOTION *

* I'VE GOT THE MOVES, BABY *

* YOU'VE GOT THE MOTION *

* IF WE GOT TOGETHER *

* WE'D BE CAUSIN' A COMMOTION *

* YOU MET YOUR MATCH WHEN YOU MET ME *

* I KNOW THAT YOU WILL DISAGREE *

* IT'S CRAZY *

* BUT OPPOSITES ATTRACT *

* YOU'LL SEE *

* AND I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY SO EASY *

* THE LOVE YOU SAVE MAY BE YOUR OWN *

* CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING *

* AREN'T YOU TIRED OF BEING ALONE? *

* YOU WON'T ADMIT IT, BUT YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE *

* IT'S NOT A SECRET HOW I FEEL *

* WHEN I STAND NEXT TO YOU *

* I'VE GOT THE MOVES, BABY *

* YOU'VE GOT THE MOTION *

* IF WE GOT TOGETHER *

* WE'D BE CAUSIN' A COMMOTION *

* I'VE GOT THE MOVES, BABY *

* YOU'VE GOT THE MOTION *

* IF WE GOT TOGETHER *

* WE'D BE CAUSIN' A COMMOTION *

* I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR *

* IT JUST MIGHT WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR *

* WE'RE WASTING TIME *

* MAKE UP YOUR MIND *

* AND GET INTO THE GROOVE *

* THEN WE CAN KEEP OUR LOVE ALIVE *

* AND WHEN IT FALLS, WE WON'T LET IT DIE *

* IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WIN OR LOSE *

* IT'S HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME *

* SO GET INTO THE GROOVE *

* I'VE GOT THE MOVES, BABY *

* YOU'VE GOT THE MOTION *

* IF WE GOT TOGETHER *

* WE'D BE CAUSIN' A COMMOTION *

* I'VE GOT THE MOVES, BABY *

* YOU'VE GOT THE MOTION *

* IF WE GOT TOGETHER *

* WE'D BE CAUSIN' A COMMOTION *

* CAUSIN' A COMMOTION *

* CAUSIN' A COMMOTION **

NICOLE FINN.

THAT'S ME.

AFTER REVIEWING YOUR RECORD,

IT IS THE OPINION OF THIS BOARD

THAT YOU HAVE RESPONDED POSITIVELY

TO THE REHABILITATION PROGRAM.

IT IS ALSO OUR OPINION THAT YOU HAVE SERVED

SUFFICIENT TIME IN THIS INSTITUTION

AS PUNISHMENT FOR THE CRIME YOU COMMITTED.

PAROLE GRANTED.

MAY I SMOKE?

YES, OF COURSE.

THANK YOU.

MISS FINN, THE TERMS OF YOUR PAROLE

ARE QUITE SPECIFIC.

AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE HERE,

YOU ARE TO GO DIRECTLY TO THE BUS STATION.

YOU ARE GOING HOME TO PENNSYLVANIA...

UH, PHILADELPHIA.

YOU ARE TO REPORT IMMEDIATELY

TO YOUR PAROLE OFFICER

AND EVERY 2 WEEKS THEREAFTER.

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

YEAH.

YOU GOT ANY MASCARA?

[ROAR]

HOLY SHIT! WE CAN'T STORE THAT THING!

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

THEY'RE SENDING SOMEONE TO GET IT.

[ROAR]

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

YOU GOT A PACKAGE FOR...

MR. MONTGOMERY BELL?

THERE YOU GO.

[ROAR]

SIR, I'M NOT AN ANIMAL TRAINER.

I'M A TAX ATTORNEY. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

THE MESSENGER YOU SENT REFUSED TO PICK IT UP.

IT'S JUST A CAT, RIGHT?

I MEAN, COULDN'T HE PUT IT

IN HIS LITTLE SATCHEL?

DOESN'T HE HAVE A LITTLE CAT SATCHEL?

MR. TROTT, WHEN YOU SAY CAT,

I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.

NO, SIR, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT CAT BELONGS TO?

MONTGOMERY BELL.

YEAH? THE REAL ESTATE GUY?

LOOK, SHIPPING PERSON,

BELL IS MY CAREER, OK?

MONTGOMERY BELL EQUALS TROTT'S CAREER.

NOW, I NEED THAT CAT UPTOWN.

[BEEPING]

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S MY FIANCEE.

GOOD MORNING, DUNBAR.

CONGRATULATIONS, MISS WORTHINGTON.

THANK YOU, PRISCILLA.

CONGRATULATIONS!

THANK YOU.

CONGRATULATIONS, MS. WORTHINGTON.

THANK YOU, MILDRED.

I UNDERSTAND THAT. I UNDERSTAND THAT.

STOP IT.

HOLD ON ONE SECOND. BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

LOUDON, DID YOU CALL THE CATERERS?

YES, DEAR.

I CALLED THEM, TOO, JUST TO BE SURE.

COUSIN HEIDI CAN'T COME,

SO THAT LEAVES ONLY 94 FOR MY SIDE.

HONEY, TAKE ONE FROM MY SIDE.

OK?

SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

THE KITTY CAT CAN'T STAY HERE.

PICK IT UP OR I'LL PUT IT BACK ON THE BOAT.

OH, NO. NO. NO.

DO NOT DO THAT! DO YOU HEAR ME?

I'M GOING TO COME BY

AFTER I PICK UP THE TUX, AT 11:25.

NOW LISTEN,

THIS ANIMAL IS VERY VALUABLE TO ME.

SO IF YOU COULD KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT.

DON'T LET IT OUT OF ITS CAGE.

RIGHT.

HE SUGGESTS WE KEEP IT IN THE CAGE.

[ROAR]

DARLING, REMEMBER, 11:10, TUXEDO FITTING,

AND MEET US AT 12:30 FOR LUNCH.

GOT IT. I'M ON TOP OF IT.

SO, WHERE ARE YOU SPENDING YOUR HONEYMOON?

OH, WE'RE POSTPONING OUR HONEYMOON

FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS.

DADDY HAS BIG PLANS

FOR LOUDON.

WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR FUN LATER.

[BEEPING]

HIS MASTER'S VOICE.

MY FATHER'S WAITING FOR US UPSTAIRS.

OH.

LOUDON, I WANT YOU TO KNOW

THIS PRENUPTIAL THING WASN'T MY IDEA.

I KNOW THAT.

Woman: WHICH LACE DID YOU CHOOSE?

NONE OF THEM! OH.

CAN I HELP YOU?

LOUDON, THIS IS BUCK.

YEAH.

WE'RE RECEIVING SO MANY PRESENTS,

THEY'VE ASSIGNED US OUR OWN EPC DRIVER.

WE HAVE ARRIVED.

HOW'S IT HANGING?

IT'S, UH, HANGING OK. THANKS FOR ASKING, BUCK.

* DOOM DOOM *

* MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM *

* DOOM DOOM, MM MM *

* DOOM DOOM **

BUT SHE'S ONLY SERVED 4 YEARS.

I UNDERSTOOD SHE WOULD DO THE FULL 7.

GOOD BEHAVIOR?

I SEE.

AND WHERE IS SHE GOING?

PHILADELPHIA?

AND HER PAROLE OFFICER THERE

IS EXPECTING HER?

UH-HUH.

HOW CAN YOU MAKE SURE SHE GETS ON THE BUS?

SO...

SO YOUR PEOPLE WON'T ACTUALLY SEE HER

GET ON THE BUS?

WELL, THANKS FOR CALLING, MILTON,

AND I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

GIVE MY LOVE TO LISA

AND LITTLE KENNY AND DEVIN AND--

I MEAN, YOUR WIFE PHYLLIS,

AND YOU HAVE NO KIDS.

[BELL RINGS]

DADDY, WHICH OF THESE

DO YOU LIKE FOR OUR STEMWARE?

HONEY, IT'S YOUR WEDDING.

IT'S YOUR DECISION ENTIRELY.

[PING]

THAT ONE.

I WIN!

I JUST FINISHED, MR. WORTHINGTON.

AH!

GOOD WORK, BOYS. HA HA!

HERE WE ARE, SON.

JUST SIGN THERE.

WHAT'S THIS?

WHAT ARE THESE?

OH, JUST A FEW DOs AND DON'Ts.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT, SON.

BASICALLY, WHAT IT SAYS IS THAT EVERYTHING I OWN--

THE CARS, THE HOUSES, THE BUSINESS--

SOMEDAY, NONE OF IT WILL BE YOURS.

ISN'T THIS CIVILIZED?

DONE. NOW, EVERYONE, IF YOU WOULD EXCUSE ME,

I WOULD LIKE TO TALK

TO MY SON-IN-LAW ALONE FOR A MOMENT.

EEK!

BE GENTLE WITH HIM, DEAR.

Woman: WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT ABOUT THE FRENCH LACE?

SIR, I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.

AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW...

I'LL TRY TO MAKE WENDY AS HAPPY AS I CAN.

HELL, THAT DOESN'T MATTER, SON,

AS LONG AS YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT.

UH, SOMETHING CAME UP TODAY, LOUDON.

A WOMAN NAMED NIKKI FINN IS BEING PAROLED

FROM ROCKFORD CORRECTIONAL THIS AFTERNOON.

THEY'RE SENDING HER HOME TO PHILADELPHIA.

I WANT YOU TO DRIVE HER TO THE BUS STATION.

THAT'S IT?

THAT'S IT.

DRIVE HER TO THE BUS STATION.

IT'S A MILE AND A HALF. TAKE YOU 5 MINUTES.

I WANT TO MAKE SURE SHE GETS ON THE BUS.

WHO IS SHE, A CLIENT?

NO, NO. NO.

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE POLICY

THE FIRM IS TRYING TO INITIATE.

WE'RE TRYING TO GIVE BACK SOMETHING TO THE COMMUNITY.

YOU MEAN, LIKE A CHARITY?

EXACTLY.

WHERE'S THE REAL MR. WORTHINGTON?

LISTEN, SIR, TODAY IS REALLY

THE WORST POSSIBLE DAY.

I WAS THRILLED WHEN YOU AND WENDY

DECIDED TO GET ENGAGED, YOU KNOW THAT?

SIR, YOU SET MY DESK ON FIRE.

NO, I DIDN'T.

YES, SIR.

YOU BURST INTO MY OFFICE

WITH A 5-GALLON CAN OF GASOLINE.

I OVERREACTED.

I CAN SEE THAT NOW.

MY POINT IS...

YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS POTENTIAL, LOUDON.

PARTNER.

SENIOR PARTNER.

AND YOU KNOW WHY?

YOU CAN BE COUNTED ON.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME JUST...

SEE HERE.

UH, I CAN SQUEEZE IT IN

BETWEEN BELL'S CAT AND LUNCH, I GUESS.

GOOD.

I WON'T FORGET THIS, LOUDON.

OPERATION PRISONER SHUTTLE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

NOW REMEMBER, PUT THE GIRL ON THE BUS PERSONALLY.

I KNOW YOU WON'T LET ME DOWN.

[JAIL DOOR SLAMS]

YO.

CIGARETTE CONCESSION'S ALL YOURS, JUDY.

THANKS, NIKKI.

DON'T DO NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO.

HAVEN'T INVENTED WHAT YOU WOULDN'T DO.

LATER, MARILYN.

LATER, NIKKI, BABY.

COME ON, MOVE IT!

[HORN PLAYS NEW YORK, NEW YORK]

HELLO, I SPOKE TO YOU ON THE PHONE.

I'M HERE FOR MONTGOMERY BELL'S CAT.

[ROAR]

OH, SHIT!

THIS THING ATE MR. BELL'S CAT?

NO, EINSTEIN, THAT IS THE CAT.

[ROAR]

LOOK, ONE PATAGONIAN FELIS CONCOLOR.

SAYS HERE THEY'RE ALMOST EXTINCT.

THERE'S ONLY 4 OF THEM LEFT IN THE WORLD.

APPARENTLY, IT MATES ONLY ONCE EVERY 26 MONTHS.

SAYS HERE TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT.

SIGN ON THE "X."

WHAT'S IT EAT?

PROBABLY SHIT-FOR-BRAIN UPTOWN ATTORNEYS.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

* TURN IT UP, TURN IT UP **

ONE BLACK LEATHER JACKET,

ONE PLASTIC COMB, BLUE...

2 LEATHER-STUDDED BRACELETS, BLACK.

AND ONE LIPSTICK, FIRE ENGINE RED.

ALL YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS.

DON'T KNOCK IT, DONOVAN.

YOU CAN'T GET THIS SHADE OF RED ANYMORE.

SHE HASN'T CHANGED

SINCE I BUSTED HER 4 YEARS AGO.

AH, I STILL SAY WE'RE WASTING OUR TIME.

MAYBE, MAYBE NOT.

I ALWAYS HAD A HUNCH SOMEBODY ELSE

IS INVOLVED IN THE CASE.

I THINK SHE'LL TRY AND FIND

WHOEVER IT IS.

DO YOU THINK SHE KNOWS WE'RE HERE?

[ROAR]

NEED SOME HELP WITH THAT, DONOVAN?

I'M OUT OF HERE.

YOU AIN'T FREE

TILL YOU'RE THROUGH THAT DOOR.

MOVE IT.

HELLO.

I'M HERE TO PICK UP A MISS NICOLE FINN.

THAT'S HER.

AM I FREE NOW?

YEAH, YOU'RE FREE.

GOOD.

DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID?

GET HER BACK IN HERE!

YOU WANT HER BACK HERE?

HELL, NO!

BE NICE.

EXCUSE ME.

SORRY. SORRY.

EXCUSE ME, MISS FINN.

MISS FINN?

EXCUSE ME!

MISS FINN?

HELLO.

HELLO. I'M LOUDON TROTT.

I'M AN ATTORNEY WITH WORTHINGTON,

FERRIS, AND CLARK.

WE'RE INITIATING A NEW PUBLIC SERVICE PROGRAM

CALLED OPERATION PRISONER SHUTTLE.

OPERATION PRISONER SHUTTLE?

YES. WE PROVIDE RECENTLY PAROLED PEOPLE,

SUCH AS YOURSELF,

RIDES TO WHEREVER THEY WISH TO GO.

ISN'T THAT SWEET.

THAT YOUR CAR, LOUDON?

YES--NO.

LET'S GO.

IT'S MY FAMILY'S-- NOT REALLY MY FAMILY YET.

I'M MORE OF A VOLVO MAN MYSELF.

IT'S A PRETTY CAR.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE OVERSTATED FOR MY TASTE.

UM...

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

THAT'S FUNNY. HA HA HA HA HA.

ALL RIGHT, FINE. JUST...

STOP RIGHT HERE.

NO. NO, DAVE. LET'S TAKE THIS CAR.

WHAT?

THIS THING SAYS UNDERCOVER COP

ALL OVER IT. COME ON.

YEAH, RIGHT.

LET'S TAKE THE ONE THAT HAS

"PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE" WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.

OH, GOD! OH!

DON'T SLAM--GOD!

FINE. FINE. JUST GO STRAIGHT AHEAD.

THE BUS STATION'S STRAIGHT AHEAD.

[ROAR]

NEAT. YOU GOT A TIGER.

NO, IT'S A PATAGONIAN FELIS CONCOLOR.

THERE ARE ONLY 4 LEFT IN THE WHOLE WORLD...

GOING ON 3.

WHAT'S HIS NAME? HI, BABY.

LADY, I'M JUST DELIVERING HIM.

WHERE'S MY SEAT BELT?

HOW ABOUT MURRAY?

"HOW ABOUT MURRAY" WHAT?

HOW ABOUT MURRAY THE TIGER?

WITH ONLY 4 LEFT,

THERE'S PROBABLY NOT ANOTHER MURRAY.

THERE'S A CERTAIN LOGIC TO THAT.

[HORN HONKS]

OH, DEAR LORD!

HANG ON, MURRAY!

GOD! GOD!

[HONK]

[HONK]

HEY, A MALL!

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

[HONK]

HOLY--OH!

SEE?

PARK AT A SLANT SO NOBODY SCRATCHES.

OK, THAT'S IT.

FINE. NOBODY'S HURT.

LOUDON, DON'T BE MAD.

I WAS STUCK IN THAT CAGE FOR 4 YEARS.

I JUST WENT A LITTLE CRAZY.

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.

SINCE WE'RE HERE, CAN WE GO IN?

NO!

PLEASE? I CAN'T GO BACK TO PHILLY

WITHOUT PRESENTS FOR MY MOM.

SHE THINKS I'VE BEEN SHOPPING.

SHOPPING...

FOR 4 YEARS?

MM-HMM. SO I CAN'T GO BACK EMPTY-HANDED

'CAUSE IT ISN'T VERY NICE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 15 MINUTES

AND THEN STRAIGHT TO THE BUS STATION.

YOU PROMISE?

PROMISE.

[MURRAY GROWLS]

WHO ARE YOU?

WHO'S THE GUY?

I DON'T KNOW.

A WILD CARD.

LET'S GO.

JEEZ!

HEY.

LISTEN, DON'T SLAM, DON'T SLAM--

WHAT?

COME ON, MISS FINN. IT'S GETTING LATE.

HEY, LOOK.

THE CLERK FORGOT TO TAKE THE TAG OFF.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

[BEEPING]

WELL, THAT'S IT. 15 MINUTES.

COME ON. COME ON.

I'M GETTING WORRIED ABOUT THE CAT.

THE PATAGONIAN FELIS...

MURRAY.

IS THERE A LATER BUS?

NO.

NO.

THERE'S NOT.

ISN'T THERE A 1:45?

NO, THEY CANCELED THAT ONE.

IT WAS IN THE PAPER THIS MORNING.

THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I GOT TO DO.

NOW, COME ON. WE HAD A DEAL.

YOU SAID YOU WOULD GO

STRAIGHT TO THE BUS STATION.

I WILL. JUST GOT TO MAKE A LITTLE DETOUR

TO, UH...

735 135th STREET, APARTMENT 6.

THAT'S HARLEM. WHAT'S IN HARLEM?

UH, NOTHING SPECIAL.

JUST GOT TO GET A GUN.

A GUN?

A GUN?

ABSOLUTELY NOT. NO WAY.

NO! SORRY.

LOOK, IT'LL TAKE HALF AN HOUR MAX.

10 MINUTES TO GET THERE,

5 MINUTES TO MAKE THE CONNECTION.

THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF TIME TO MAKE THE 1:45,

AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

EXCEPT MAYBE IN YOUR DREAMS.

NIGHTMARES IS THE WORD, MISS FINN.

NIKKI.

MISS NIKKI.

NAH, MISS FINN.

MISS NIFKIN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF PRISON

FOR EXACTLY 23 MINUTES.

NOW, I'M NOT A CRIMINAL LAWYER,

NO, BUT I SUSPECT...

MEET ME OUT FRONT. I GOT TO DITCH THIS GUY.

MY ADVICE TO YOU

IS TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.

I MEAN, GET A JOB, EVEN A MENIAL JOB.

[ALARM]

I GOT YOU!

I DIDN'T TAKE NOTHING!

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. THERE'S NOTHING I WANT.

WHAT'S THIS?

BEETHOVEN? GIVE ME A BREAK.

GOOD WORK. LOCK HIM UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEYS.

THANKS, MA'AM.

I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO NO GOOD.

LOUDON, I'VE BEEN THINKING IT OVER.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I DON'T NEED ANY MORE TROUBLE IN MY LIFE.

I'M TAKING THAT BUS BACK TO PHILLY,

START ALL OVER AGAIN.

YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

YEAH. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

GOOD-BYE, MURRAY.

I'LL MISS YOU MOST OF ALL.

WAIT. I'M DRIVING YOU.

NO. YOU DONE ENOUGH FOR ME ALREADY.

[PURRING]

BUT...

I'M SUPPOSED TO MAKE SURE

YOU GET ON THE BUS.

[PURRING]

COME ON, GET IN.

CAN I DRIVE?

NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

[GROWLS]

ALL RIGHT.

MAYBE.

[GRRR]

ALL RIGHT!

HA HA!

BUT NO TRICKS.

NO TRICKS.

YOU PROMISE?

I PROMISE!

I PROMISE, NO TRICKS.

HEY, LOUDON, GUESS WHAT?

TRICKS!

SORRY!

[GRINDING GEARS]

THEY'RE GETTING AWAY.

OH, MY GOD! YOU ROBBED THAT STORE!

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

I DIDN'T ROB NOTHING. WHEN YOU ROB A STORE,

YOU STICK UP THE CASHIER.

I BOOSTED A FEW TAPES. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

ALL RIGHT, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS,

BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE. CITIZEN'S ARREST.

CITIZEN'S ARREST? YOU'RE SO CUTE.

HERE IT IS.

OH, MY GOD!

WE'LL MAKE IT!

I'LL ACCEPT ANYTHING BUT A TIE!

* I'VE TRIED AND TRIED *

* TO GET NEXT TO YOU *

DETOUR! HA HA!

FREIGHT TRAIN! FREIGHT TRAIN!

FREIGHT TRAIN! FREIGHT TRAIN!

* BUT I DON'T GIVE IN SO EASILY *

* THIS I KNOW *

* YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE *

* I KNOW THAT YOU'RE AFRAID THAT I MIGHT *

* STEAL YOUR HEART AWAY IN THE NIGHT *

* BUT I CAN'T TAKE AWAY WHAT'S NOT MINE *

AAH!

* YOU'LL SEE *

* YOU'LL COME TO ME IN TIME *

* CAN'T STOP *

* CAN'T STOP THINKIN' ABOUT YOU, BABE *

* CAN'T STOP SCREAMING AND SHOUTING YOUR NAME *

* CAN'T STOP *

* LOOK OUT, BOY *

* 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO THE TOP OF YOUR LIST *

* CAN'T STOP **

[SIREN]

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DONE.

[MURRAY ROARS]

ALL RIGHT. GET OUT OF THE CAR.

OH, OFFICER, THANK GOD.

MY HUSBAND'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK.

IS THIS THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL?

LET ME SEE YOUR LICENSE.

I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE.

I WAS ONLY DRIVING BECAUSE IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.

AND I MEAN, I JUST-- LOOK AT HIM!

AH!

HELP ME!

YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS.

OH, GOD, HE'S SO YOUNG!

ARE YOU HIS WIFE?

UH-HUH.

I NEED INFORMATION. WHAT'S HIS NAME?

LOUDON.

LOUDON WHAT?

CLEAR.

LOUDON CLEAR. MRS. CLEAR, HAVE YOU NOTICED

ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOUR HUSBAND RECENTLY?

WELL, HE HASN'T BEEN VALENTINO

IN THE SACK LATELY.

OH, GOD!

GRRR!

HEY, HE'S HYSTERICAL!

CAN'T YOU GIVE HIM SOMETHING?

I MEAN, HELP! HE'S IN AGONY!

NO.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING, MR. CLEAR?

MY WALLET, MY CLOTHES.

OH, YOUR WIFE TOOK EVERYTHING HOME.

SHE'S GONNA BE BACK LATER WITH YOUR PAJAMAS.

MY WIFE? OH, MY GOD!

SHE DIDN'T TAKE THE ROLLS!

OH, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CAR.

SHE GAVE SOME OF THE GIRLS A RIDE.

OH, NO. NO. NO.

NOT MRS. WORTHINGTON'S ROLLS ROYCE.

MM-HMM.

BUT MURRAY'S IN IT! SHE'S GOT MURRAY!

HARLEM! I GOT TO GET TO HARLEM!

MR. CLEAR!

YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE.

WE STILL HAVE TO RUN MORE TESTS.

MY NAME ISN'T CLEAR, AND I'M PERFECTLY FINE!

AND I'M A LAWYER, SEE? I'M A LAWYER, SEE?

I KNOW MY RIGHTS.

I'M GOING TO HARLEM.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS DOOR?

WELL, YOU JUST PUSH.

YOU JUST HAVE TO PUSH.

EH-UHH.

YEAH.

P.A.: SECURITY, REPORT TO NURSES' STATION.

SECURITY, REPORT TO NURSES' STATION.

TAXI!

TAXI!

TAXI, TAXI!

OK!

735 135th STREET!

STEP ON IT!

SURE THING.

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO PICK UP ANYBODY

WITHOUT THEIR CLOTHES ON.

COMPANY POLICY.

DAMN GOOD POLICY, TOO.

9 MILLIMETER,

SEMIAUTOMATIC,

ONLY 33 MOVING PARTS.

YAP YAP YAP YAP!

FOR EASY STRIPPING AND, UH, CLEANING.

27 OUNCES, FITS IN YOUR POCKETBOOK,

LIGHT AND DEADLY.

A FAVORITE WITH THE LADIES.

VERY NICE.

THE EVER POPULAR .44 MAGNUM,

CHROME FINISH.

EFFECTIVE, BUT COMMON.

FOR MORE SERIOUS SELF-DEFENSE,

YOU GOT YOUR AK47 SOVIET ASSAULT RIFLE.

OR THE AUGSA 45 MILLIMETER--

REALLY THE CUTTING EDGE OF AUTOMATIC FIREPOWER.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

HA HA.

I GOT ASSAULT KNIVES, 10-INCH BLADES,

CAR STEREOS, COMPACT DISC PLAYERS,

WASHERS, VIDEO CAMERAS,

I GOT BOOTLEG TAPES. I GOT ITALIAN SUITS.

SHOES, DESIGNER JEANS.

YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED, ARE YOU?

YEP. TOMORROW AT 12:00,

I'M MARRYING WENDY WORTHINGTON.

YOU--NAH.

YOU MARRY WENDY WORTHINGTON?

I CAN'T SEE IT. YOU'RE NOT HER TYPE.

YOU KNOW WENDY?

SURE. WENDY FROM SCARSDALE.

I HAD HER IN THE CAB ONCE.

JUST BECAUSE YOU GAVE HER A RIDE

DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW HER TYPE.

I DIDN'T SAY I GAVE HER A RIDE.

I SAID I HAD HER IN THE CAB.

WELL, HERE WE ARE.

THAT'LL BE $6.50.

I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

AH, FORGET IT.

ANY FRIEND OF WENDY'S--

[DOG BARKING]

[DISTANT MUSIC PLAYING]

HEY! HEY, GET AWAY FROM THERE!

COME ON! GET AWAY! NO, NO! COME ON!

GET AWAY!

THIS IS MY STUFF. THIS IS MY CAR.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

WHAT--HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DON'T DO THAT! DON'T DO THAT!

OH, MY GOD!

THERE WAS A PATAGONIAN FELIS

IN THIS CAGE!

MURRAY!

MURRAY!

COME HERE, BOY. HERE, KITTY KITTY.

GOD DAMN IT!

CUT THAT OUT!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO. NO, THIS IS NOT LUDEN.

LOUDON, LOUDON. YOU LOUDON?

YEAH.

TELEPHONE.

HELLO?

LOUDON? HOW'S IT GOING, SON?

OH, MR. WORTHINGTON. SIR, ACTUALLY,

THERE'S BEEN A WRINKLE OR 2 AT THIS END.

YOU DID TAKE CARE OF THAT

CHARITABLE ERRAND WE DISCUSSED?

ACTUALLY, IT MISSED THE BUS.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.

BUT I'LL HAVE HER ON THE NEXT ONE.

GUARANTEED. NO PROBLEM. STOP THAT.

I SEE.

UH, SIR, HOW DANGEROUS IS THIS PERSON?

HER BARK IS MUCH WORSE THAN HER BITE.

DOES SHE BITE, SIR?

IT'S IMPORTANT THAT I KNOW.

I THINK WE'D ALL BE A LOT HAPPIER

ON THIS MOST JOYOUS OF WEEKENDS

IF NIKKI FINN WERE FAR, FAR AWAY.

OH, I COULDN'T AGREE WITH THAT MORE, SIR.

SHE'LL BE ON THE NEXT BUS.

GUARANTEED. NO PROBLEM.

I HOPE SO.

HERE'S WENDY.

LOUDON? WHERE ARE YOU, SWEETIE?

WE'VE ALREADY FINISHED THE FIRST COURSE.

I'M IN, UH, SCARSDALE.

YEAH! THINK ABOUT IT!

WHY DON'T YOU

GO AHEAD AND ORDER WITHOUT ME?

YOU GET THE RING?

OH. DAMN IT. NOT YET.

I'M RUNNING A LITTLE BEHIND SCHEDULE.

YOU WILL BE AT THE CO-OP INTERVIEW?

ABSOLUTELY. I'LL MEET YOU THERE, OK?

HEY, WHITE BOY, GIVE ME A DOLLAR.

EXACTLY WHAT PART OF SCARSDALE ARE YOU IN?

HONEY, I'VE GOT TO GO.

KISS, KISS. BYE-BYE.

Mrs. Worthington: DARLING, WHERE IS HE?

SCARSDALE.

GET BACK HERE! BRING THAT BACK!

OH!

OH, MY GOD.

[FUNKY RAP PLAYING]

[RATS SCREECHING]

GO AHEAD, PISS ON ME,

YOU BASTARD.

WE GOT A PROBLEM.

THE GUN RUNNER'S IN NUMBER 6.

LET'S MOVE.

THAT'S "B" FOR BOY, 321-7621-413.

HEY, YOU GOT THESE IN PINK?

HOLD ON. PINK--LET ME CHECK.

ALL RIGHT! WHERE'S MURRAY?

HI!

HOLD IT. HE'S WITH ME.

YOU SET ME UP!

GET REAL.

STAY THERE!

BOTH OF YOU!

NOBODY BREATHE!

THE NAME IS LOUDON TROUT.

TROTT.

TROTT. T-R-O-T-T.

EXPIRATION DATE, 6-89.

AMOUNT, $2,340.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL IN A GOLD CARD.

EASY, CHUCKLES.

JUST TELL ME. I WON'T BE UPSET.

I REALLY JUST WANT TO KNOW.

ARE YOU THE ANTI-CHRIST?

YOU CAN TELL ME, REALLY. I SWEAR I WON'T BE MAD.

YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU?

MOVE.

CHARLIE, HE'S UPSTAIRS!

UH-OH! THIS WAY!

MILE AND A HALF. MILE AND A HALF.

JUST TAKE HER TO THE BUS STATION.

A MILE AND A HALF.

WHERE'S MURRAY?

HE HAD TO GO. I LET HIM OUT.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

WHEN YOU'VE GOT TO GO, YOU GOT TO GO.

OH! WHOA!

AAH!

JUMP!

COME ON!

ARE YOU INSANE?

I DID IT. YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU'RE A CRIMINAL. I'M A TAX ATTORNEY.

I'LL BE ALL RIGHT HERE.

I'M SURE SOMEBODY CALLED THE COPS.

THEY ARE THE COPS.

[GUNSHOTS]

MAYBE IF I JUST EXPLAINED...

EXPLAIN WHAT? THAT WE WERE BUYING

4 STOLEN SEMIAUTOMATIC WEAPONS

ON YOUR GOLD CARD?

OK!

[SIREN]

HA HA HA HA!

HEY, OVER HERE!

I GOT THE OTHER WAY!

THEY'LL PUT US IN SEPARATE CELLS,

WON'T THEY?

I MEAN, WE WON'T BE ROOMING TOGETHER?

RELAX, COUNSELOR.

NOBODY'S GOING TO PRISON.

ALL RIGHT,

LET'S SEE HERE.

LUNCH--THAT'S OFF.

GOT TO FIND MURRAY. THAT'S NUMBER ONE.

WOW. YOU PRINT EVERYTHING?

YOU NEVER GO BELOW THE LINE.

I'M VERY IMPRESSED.

GOOD, BECAUSE IMPRESSING YOU

IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.

ALL RIGHT.

TUX. GOT THAT, SORT OF.

I GOT TO GO TO CARTIER,

PICK UP THE RING.

OH.

A RING, HUH?

YEAH. A WEDDING RING.

I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.

OH, GREAT. WHAT'S HER NAME?

WENDY.

WENDY--THAT'S A NICE NAME.

I'D LIKE TO MEET HER.

YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH IN COMMON,

SHE BEING A MERE HUMAN PERSON,

YOU BEING A FORCE OF NATURE.

[FIRE ALARM] OHH!

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[FIRE ENGINE SIREN]

THOSE GUYS ARE FOLLOWING ME OUT THERE.

I THINK THEY'RE CRAZY.

THEY MUST BE.

IN HIGH SCHOOL,

WE HUNG OUT IN THESE THINGS.

SNEAKING CIGARETTES, LYING ABOUT BOYS,

MAKING BIG PLANS.

IS THAT WHEN YOU STARTED MURDERING PEOPLE?

HEY, I'M A THIEF. I ADMIT THAT,

BUT I NEVER KILLED ANYBODY.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

I WAS FRAMED, LOUDON.

I WAS GOING WITH THIS GUY NAMED JOHNNY,

SMALL TIME, BOOKMAKER TYPE.

JOHNNY FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS WHITE-COLLAR GUY

WHO'S INTO BOGUS STUFF. I NEVER KNEW HIS NAME.

JOHNNY GETS THE GOODS ON HIM--

PHOTOS, TAPES, FINANCIAL RECORDS.

JOHNNY PUTS IT IN A SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX

AND GIVES ME THE KEY.

HE DECIDES TO BLACKMAIL THE DUDE,

BUT THE DUDE HIRES RAOUL TO HIT JOHNNY.

RAOUL STUFFS THE BODY IN MY CAR TRUNK.

I DON'T KNOW IT'S THERE. I TAKE A RED LIGHT.

THE COPS STOP ME. THEY FIND JOHNNY'S BODY.

JUDGE CALLED IT A CRIME OF PASSION.

I LIKED JOHNNY,

BUT NOT ENOUGH TO KILL HIM.

THESE THINGS HAPPEN.

JOHNNY NEVER TOLD ME WHICH BANK OR BOX

THIS KEY GOES TO, BUT RAOUL KNOWS.

RAOUL GOT IT OUT OF HIM BEFORE HE FINISHED HIM OFF.

SO I GOT THE KEY,

RAOUL'S GOT THE BOX NUMBER.

SO WE GOT TO GET RAOUL. WILL YOU HELP ME?

HELP YOU WHAT?

CLEAR MY NAME.

CLEAR YOUR NAME?

THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST STEAL ONE?

HELP ME AND I'LL BE ON THE NEXT BUS.

DON'T SEND ME BACK TO PHILLY A MURDERESS.

WELL, UH, THIS GUY RAOUL--

HE REALLY--

HE SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE.

YEAH, BUT WE CAN HANDLE HIM, YOU AND ME!

'CAUSE WE'RE A TEAM, LOUDON:

LEAN, MEAN FIGHTING MACHINE OF A TEAM.

SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN INSIDE THERE,

I SEE A FIGHTER IN YOU.

ADMIT IT.

WELL, I FENCE.

I STARTED IN PREP SCHOOL.

MY FATHER THOUGHT IT WASN'T MANLY.

FENCE, HUH? I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.

I WON THE STATE INTERCOLLEGIATE,

BUT FATHER NEVER WATCHED.

WHY WOULD YOUR FATHER WATCH YOU

TURN OVER STOLEN GOODS?

UM...

YOU'RE TWISTED.

YEAH.

NO. I MEAN YOUR GLASSES.

STAY STILL. I'LL FIX THEM.

NO. THAT'S OK.

YOU GOT REALLY NEAT HANDS.

THANK YOU.

CAME WITH THE ARM.

THIS ARM?

YEAH.

THIS ARM?

YES.

THIS ARM?

SAME ONE.

AH!

FEEL GOOD?

UH, YES, ACTUALLY.

SO YOU GOING TO HELP ME?

UH, YEAH.

HA HA! GOODY!

OH, I MEAN, I'LL CONSIDER IT

IF YOU HELP ME.

WE HAD A PATAGONIAN FELIS

IN THE BACK SEAT.

MURRAY. PERHAPS YOU REMEMBER MURRAY.

[WHISTLES]

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

[ROAR]

I HAVE MY METHODS.

ARE THEY STILL SITTING THERE?

WHAT ARE THEY UP TO?

WHAT DO YOU CARE?

YOU'RE PAID BY THE HOUR.

WHAT'D YOU GET?

OH...[CHUCKLES]

I GOT THE COLD QUAIL WITH PESTO.

IT'S MARINATED IN OLIVE OIL.

I PICKED UP THE WILD RICE

WITH THE FRENCH MOREL MUSHROOMS

ON A BED OF RADICCHIO LETTUCE.

AND A LITTLE DIJON DRESSING ON THE SIDE.

I GOT THAT FOR YOU.

[HUMMING WITH RADIO]

LOUDON, WHY DO YOU THINK

THEY CALL THESE THINGS McNUGGETS?

I DON'T KNOW, NIKKI.

ONE OF LIFE'S GREATEST UNSOLVED MYSTERIES.

MURRAY SURE LIKES 'EM.

HERE, TRY SOME SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE, HONEY.

THERE HE IS!

ONE OF THEM'S BIG. VERY BIG.

YEAH, YEAH. NOT AS BIG AS THIS.

LET'S DO IT.

UHH! GAH!

UH-OH. NOW WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

TURN AROUND. WALK DOWN THAT STREET.

LOOK BACK AND YOU'RE DEAD.

YEAH.

MOVE!

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

NIKKI.

LONG TIME, RAOUL.

TAKE THEM OUT WITH YOUR FINGERTIPS

AND DROP THEM ON THE FLOOR,

THANK YOU.

I JUST WITNESSED AN ACCIDENT.

I'LL GO GIVE THEM MY NAME.

DRIVE.

WHAT?

GET IN AND DRIVE.

[CAR TIRES SQUEAL]

[HORNS HONK]

WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

CUT THE INNOCENT ACT, RAOUL.

I KNOW YOU HIT JOHNNY. HOW YOU DOING, LOUDON?

MM-HMM. MM-HMM. NO!

LOUDON DON'T SEE GOOD WITHOUT GLASSES.

NIKKI, DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY.

I'M OUT OF CONTROL,

YOU LITTLE POINDEXTER-HEAD.

I WANT THE NAME OF THE BANK

AND THE SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX NUMBER.

WHAT IS THAT GONNA DO? NOBODY'S FOUND THE KEY.

HONEY, I NEVER LOST IT.

I'VE BEEN SITTING ON THIS FOR 4 YEARS.

YEAH.

YOU'RE DOING FINE, LOUDON.

NO, HE AIN'T.

YES, HE IS.

THE BANK NAME AND THE BOX NUMBER NOW!

DON'T GET MENTAL! WE CAN TALK THIS OUT!

AFRAID OF WHAT I MIGHT FIND IN THAT BOX?

THINK YOU BETTER FIND A PLACE TO PARK.

OK.

NICE SPOT.

OK, EVERYBODY OUT. LET'S GO.

COME ON.

NO MONKEY BUSINESS.

GO. MOVE IT.

OH! OW!

I'D HATE TO BE UP THERE LIKE THAT,

HANGING ON A CAR DOOR.

I'D HATE TO BE NOT HANGING ON TO A CAR DOOR.

KEEP GOING. YOU, TOO, SHORTY.

UP AGAINST THE CAR.

TIME OUT!

THAT NUMBER...

YOUR BOYFRIEND'S IN TROUBLE.

LATER FOR HIM.

LATER?

I'M BUSY--

HEY! HEY! GIVE ME THAT!

[GUNSHOT] THAT'S MY GUN!

HEY! THANK YOU.

AHA! MY GUN!

STOP IT!

GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BIG, FAT BULLY!

[COCKS GUN]

UH-OH.

HUH!

AAH.

NOW TALK!

CARTIER CLOSES IN HALF AN HOUR!

KOWAMATSU BANK.

KOWAMATSU!

ON MADISON.

BOX NUMBER 6111.

Nikki: TROTT! HELP!

OH, NOW YOU NEED MY HELP.

HOW THE WORM HAS TURNED.

LOUDON, PLEASE!

WHAT ABOUT "LATER FOR HIM"?

I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED.

ALL RIGHT.

OW!

OW!

WHOA!

WHOA!

[SPLASH]

[HORN PLAYS NEW YORK, NEW YORK]

FIRE HYDRANT. FIRE HYDRANT.

FIRE HYDRANT. EXCUSE ME, FIRE HYDRANT.

WHY CAN'T WE GO TO THE BANK FIRST?

NO. WE DID ONE OF YOUR THINGS ALREADY.

WE MURDERED THE PIMP AND THE FAT MAN.

IT'S TIME TO DO ONE OF MY THINGS.

IS THAT WHY YOU'RE UPSET?

SHOULD I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

WE DID THE WORLD A FAVOR.

THOSE GUYS WERE SCUM.

THEY WEREN'T EVEN SCUM.

THEY ASPIRED ONE DAY TO BE SCUM.

NONETHELESS, NONETHELESS, NONETHELESS,

DOUBLE HOMICIDE WAS NOT ON MY AGENDA.

I GOT A GOOD IDEA.

TELL ME THE BOX NUMBER.

I'LL GO TO THE BANK AND MEET YOU HERE.

LISTEN, YOU LITTLE INSANE PERSON.

I'M NOT LETTING YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT.

I PROMISED I'D SEE YOU ON THAT BUS.

UNTIL THAT GLORIOUS MOMENT COMES,

WE'RE STUCK TOGETHER LIKE GLUE.

LIKE MUTT AND JEFF, AMOS AND ANDY,

FRICK AND FRACK,

SPIC 'N SPAN,

YIN AND YANG, ARM AND HAMMER,

PORK AND BEANS--

THE BANK CLOSES IN HALF AN HOUR.

YEAH.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. TROTT.

AFTERNOON.

HOW'S MOTHER, SIR?

MOTHER? FINE, FINE.

TOMORROW'S THE BIG DAY, SIR. CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

THE RING IS ALL READY FOR YOU, SIR.

I DON'T RECOGNIZE MADAME, SIR.

AN OUT-OF-TOWN GUEST?

OUT-OF-TOWN, SORT OF.

I'M LOUDON'S, UH, COUS--

MR. TROTT'S SISTER.

SISTER? I WASN'T AWARE MR. TROTT HAD A SISTER.

BEEN AWAY A FEW YEARS.

BOARDING SCHOOL?

BOARDING SCHOOL, RIGHT.

SWITZERLAND?

EXCUSE ME.

I SAID WAS THE SCHOOL SWISS?

SURE.

SURE, ONE OF THE SWISSEST.

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

DO IT. DO IT.

CAN YOU HANDLE IT? DO IT TODAY, MAN.

[ENGINE STARTS]

OK. WE'RE COOL. LET'S GO.

[HORN HONKS]

YO! WHOO!

[HORN PLAYS NEW YORK, NEW YORK]

EXCUSE ME.

I'D LIKE TO LOOK AT THAT.

I LIKE THIS.

IT'S VERY SWEET.

HMM.

THINK THIS'LL FIT ON A TIGER?

TIGER? NO QUESTION.

THERE YOU ARE.

SHALL I PUT THIS ON MOTHER'S ACCOUNT?

YES.

PUT THIS ON MOTHER'S ACCOUNT, TOO...

FOR MURRAY.

[WHISPERING] Have mercy.

BUT, LOUDON, HE'S ALMOST EXTINCT.

THE CLASP IS BROKEN. I CAN GET THIS FIXED.

HEY! GIVE ME THAT KEY!

AAH!

I WANT MY KEY!

GIVE ME THAT KEY!

[CRASH]

Woman: OH, NO!

OH!

NO, YOU DON'T!

HEY! LET ME GO! I WANT MY KEY!

COME BACK! GIVE ME MY KEY!

PUT ME DOWN!

OH, MY GOD! WHERE'S THE CAR?

WAIT!

WHERE'S THE CAR? MURRAY! MURRAY!

AAH!

THANK YOU. GET IN.

WHAT ABOUT MRS. WORTHINGTON'S CAR?

WHAT ABOUT MURRAY?

LATER, LOUDON.

FOLLOW THAT BROWN EPC TRUCK, OK?

HERE'S 20 IF YOU EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON.

OH, HEY! HEY!

YOU STOLE THAT FROM CARTIER.

THAT'S GRAND THEFT.

THANKS.

THEY'RE GOING TO COME AFTER US.

YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.

THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF.

THOSE PLACES DEAL IN DIAMONDS.

THEY DON'T WANT THEM STOLEN,

SO THEY LEAVE THIS STUFF OUT FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE.

IT'S CALLED A LOSS LEADER.

THEY WANT US TO STEAL IT.

YEAH. UNDERSTAND THAT?

IT'S LIKE A PROMOTIONAL THING

WITH THEM. HEH HEH HEH.

EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU MIND?

AHH.

HERE'S YOUR TRUCK.

HEY, THIS IS WHERE WENDY WORTHINGTON LIVES!

YOU'RE RIGHT. HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

I HAD HER IN ME CAB ONCE.

PEACE.

HURRY IT UP IN THERE.

COME ON!

DOES THAT FEEL BETTER, BUCK?

MMM.

MANY PEOPLE TAKE THE EPC FOR GRANTED.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

NOT US.

[DOOR OPENS]

LOUDON!

THIS IS MY BED AND KITCHEN SHOWER!

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT?

YOU CAN'T GO TO THE CO-OP INTERVIEW

DRESSED LIKE THAT.

DID YOU GET THE RING?

HOW'S IT HANGING?

WENDY! MY GOD!

YOU JUST LOOK EVERY BIT

THE LITTLE THING LOUDON DESCRIBED.

LOUDON...

WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

SHAME ON YOU. I THOUGHT YOU TOLD WENDY.

I'M LOUDON'S COUSIN, NIKKI SUE TROTT.

THE ATLANTA TROTTS WITH 3 Ts.

GIVE US A KISS.

OOH!

I JUST LOVE THAT LITTLE THING YOU'RE WEARING.

LOUDON, SHE'S GOT THE CUTEST LITTLE FIGURE.

WHAT A CUTE, TEENY-TINY,

ALMOST NONEXISTENT LITTLE FIGURE.

I'LL MINGLE.

PRESENTS!

Wendy: YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING

ABOUT A COUSIN FROM ATLANTA.

VERY COMPLICATED, DEAR.

YES. THE ASPCA?

I'D LIKE TO REPORT A WILD CONCOLOR MISSING.

DEAR, I THOUGHT WE AGREED

THE GUEST LIST WAS LOCKED.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

NO, DEAR, I'M NOT.

A PATAGONIAN FELIS, CONCOLOR,

LAST SEEN AT 57th AND 5th.

WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?

YOUR MOTHER'S CAR WAS STOLEN.

A RARE ANIMAL WAS IN IT.

OH, NO, NOT MUMMY'S ROLLS?

I SAW THE WHOLE THING.

DON'T WORRY, MISS WORTHINGTON.

I GOT THE LICENSE NUMBER.

YOU GOT THE LICENSE NUMBER OF OUR CAR?

I WROTE IT DOWN.

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU

TO BE ANY DUMBER?

I DON'T SEE HOW.

BYE, BUCK.

WHAT IS IT?

OH, BYE, BUCKY-DUCK.

OH, SEE YOU LATER.

WE LOVE YOU. BYE-BYE.

I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF. I LOVE GETTING PRESENTS.

THAT'S FROM ME.

THEY'RE GORGEOUS!

SOLID 24 CARAT.

OF COURSE.

18. ANYWAYS, AS I WAS SAYING...

FAMILY'S JUST BESIDE THEMSELVES WITH HAPPINESS.

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW RELIEVED WE ALL WAS

WHEN WE FOUND OUT OLD LOUDON WAS GETTING ENGAGED.

I MEAN, LOUDON? MARRYING A WOMAN?

GOT IT!

[HORN PLAYS NEW YORK, NEW YORK]

MURRAY!

MURRAY!

MUMMY'S ROLLS!

BYE! BYE, MISS TROTT!

LOUDON, COME ON! LET'S GO!

Wendy: LOUDON, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

YOU WON'T BE LATE FOR THE CO-OP INTERVIEW?

AAH!

AAH! AAH!

MURRAY!

STOP THAT CAR! MURRAY!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

[WHISTLES]

[GRRR]

HEY, WE PICKED UP A MONSTER.

WHOA!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

[GRRR]

[HONK]

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE HERE.

WANNA GIVE ME THAT BOX NUMBER NOW?

NOT UNTIL WE'RE INSIDE.

OH...

IT'S NOT FAIR!

OH, NO! EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.

I CANNOT BE WITH THIS WOMAN ANOTHER MINUTE.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT. OPEN UP.

PLEASE, SIR,

LET US IN! 2 SECONDS.

LOOK. I'M WEALTHY,

AND I'M BUSY. PLEASE!

TOMORROW MORNING. 10:00.

TOMORROW MORNING? PERFECT!

LOOK, WHAT DO YOU CARE?

GIVE ME THE BOX NUMBER.

WE'LL GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS.

I CAN'T. I GAVE MY WORD.

I PROMISED THAT I WOULD SEE YOU ON THAT BUS.

NOW, I'M SURE THE CONCEPT IS JUST ALIEN TO YOU,

BUT WHERE I COME FROM,

A PERSON'S WORD REALLY MEANS SOMETHING.

ALL RIGHT. THEN I GIVE YOU MY WORD.

TOMORROW MORNING, I'LL COME HERE,

OPEN UP THE BOX,

AND I'LL GET ON THE BUS ALL BY MYSELF.

YOU'RE LYING.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

YOUR LIPS ARE MOVING.

HEY!

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I THINK THAT YOU WANT TO STAY WITH ME.

YEAH, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T ADMIT IT.

YOU THINK THAT I WOULD WANT TO STAY WITH YOU--

THAT I WOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO STAY WITH YOU?

DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?

LADY, I'M SURPRISED YOUR SHADOW KEEPS YOU COMPANY.

I'M AN EX-CONVICT, AND HE'S WITH ME.

SHUT UP.

WE KILLED 2 PEOPLE: A PIMP AND FAT MAN,

AND HE DID MOST OF THE WORK.

YEAH, I KILLED 'EM. YEAH.

HE'S THE FATHER OF MY CHILD,

BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT

'CAUSE HE'S A LAWYER.

[ELECTRONIC ALARM]

MY CO-OP. I'M DRIVING.

HEY! HEY!

OH! OH, I GET IT!

YOU CARE MORE ABOUT GETTING YOUR APARTMENT

THAN FINDING THE CREEP THAT SET ME UP.

IS THAT IT? MY PROBLEMS DON'T RATE?

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

WHAT?

LOUDON? IT'S ME.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

HOW CAN YOU TALK TO SOMEBODY

AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

I SPENT 4 YEARS IN THE HOLE,

WAITING FOR THE CHANCE TO GET OUT

AND CLEAR MY NAME,

AND I WILL KNOW VENGEANCE.

YOU MEAN SHE'S STILL IN TOWN?

YOU SAID SHE WAS GONNA BE ON THE 1:45.

SHE MISSED THE 1:45.

WHO IS THAT?

SHH!

DON'T YOU SHUSH ME! NOBODY IGNORES NIKKI FINN!

OH, I SEE.

PERHAPS MY INSTRUCTIONS WERE A BIT OBLIQUE.

I AM NIKKI FINN. I WILL NOT BE DENIED.

I WILL KNOW VENGEANCE!

I'M SURE SHE'S GOING TO BE HERE.

MR. TROTT, WE ARE, OF COURSE,

VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT WHO WE ALLOW

INTO OUR ST. ANDREWS COOPERATIVE.

PUNCTUALITY, I HAVE FOUND,

IS A VERY GOOD INDICATOR OF CHARACTER.

ABSOLUTELY.

IT'S SO AMAZING THAT YOU WOULD SAY THAT

BECAUSE WENDY IS KNOWN FOR HER PUNCTUALITY.

WE BOTH ARE.

IT'S LIKE A JOKE AMONGST OUR FRIENDS.

IF YOUR FIANCEE ISN'T INTERESTED

IN THE APARTMENT,

I'M SURE WE CAN FIND SOMEONE WHO IS.

I'LL--I'LL JUST CHECK DOWN--

I'M JUST GOING TO CHECK OUTSIDE.

I'M SURE SHE'S LOOKING

FOR A PLACE TO PARK RIGHT NOW.

SO JUST CHAT AMONGST YOURSELVES,

AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[SNORES]

OK!

AHH-HUH.

[RINGS BELL]

[PURRS]

OHH!

NIKKI.

NICOLE?

WHAT?

[SNORE]

Loudon: FOUND HER, FOUND HER.

NO PROBLEM, NO PROBLEM.

SHE WAS AT THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL

BECAUSE THEY JUST OPENED THE WENDY WORTHINGTON WING.

HELLO. HI, THERE! SORRY I'M LATE.

JUST OVERCOMMITTED MYSELF. YOUSE UNDERSTAND, HUH?

NO PROBLEM AT ALL. PLEASE TAKE A SEAT.

MISS WORTHINGTON,

YOUR APPLICATION IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.

YOUR BACKGROUND... THE PRIVATE SCHOOLS.

YOU GOTTA SEE ME SPEND MONEY

TO REALLY APPRECIATE ME.

NOW, LOUDON, I SEE HERE

THAT YOU'RE WITH WORTHINGTON,

FERRIS, AND CLARKE?

YES, MA'AM. THAT'S TRUE.

I'VE BEEN WITH THEM ABOUT 5 1/2 YEARS.

CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

HE IS DADDY'S RIGHT HAND.

WELL...

AND LEFT HAND.

HE'S BOTH OF DADDY'S HANDS.

UH...KNOCK, KNOCK.

MMMPH.

Nikki: KNOCK, KNOCK.

KNOCK...KNOCK.

WHO'S THERE? BOO!

BOO WHO?

DON'T CRY!

WE'LL TAKE THE APARTMENT.

WILL YOU--

YES. BACK TO THE INTERVIEW.

DO YOU PLAN TO HAVE ANY CHILDREN?

NO. I MEAN, NOT RIGHT AWAY.

MAYBE IN THE FUTURE.

AAH!

YEAH, BUT NOT RIGHT AWAY.

KIDS AREN'T THAT IMPORTANT TO HAVE RIGHT AWAY.

CAREERS COME FIRST.

[SNARL]

OH, HONEY, IT'S LITTLE TABBY!

I TOLD YOU WENDY HAD A CAT, DIDN'T I?

IT LOOKS LIKE A T-TIGER.

NO. IT'S NOT A TIGER.

DEFINITELY NOT.

WE'VE HAD HER FOR YEARS.

[GROWLS]

HI, UH...TABBY.

[ROARS]

HE'S A LITTLE HUNGRY. DID YOU FEED HIM?

UH-OH, I FORGOT.

WE CAN PICK UP SOME TENDER VITTLES

ON THE WAY HOME. SORRY.

Wendy: LOUDON, ARE YOU IN THERE?

IT'S ME, WENDY!

UH-OH.

WAIT A MINUTE! WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

SHE'S NOT MY FIANCEE!

LOUDON! LOUDON!

YO, GIRLS, PLEASE, BE QUIET!

QUIET! QUIET!

IT'S THE PIMP AND THE FAT MAN!

I THOUGHT I KILLED THEM.

LOUDON, HOW'S IT GOING?

DID YOU TELL THEM I WENT TO VASSAR?

ALL RIGHT!

AND I WANT HER TO BRING THE KEY!

TELL THEM WE KNOW THE BUTTERWORTHS.

REMEMBER, GIRLS, YOU'RE HOSTAGES!

GET A GRIP!

THEY'RE MY BRIDESMAIDS.

COME ON!

YOU'RE HURTING MY NECK.

LET HER GO. I GOT THE KEY.

NIKKI?

LET HER GO OR NO DEAL.

YOU--YOU'RE NOT FROM ATLANTA.

NO, I'M NOT FROM ATLANTA.

WHO ARE YOU?

DON'T WORRY. I'M NOBODY.

ALL RIGHT. JUST STAY CALM.

WE'LL CHANGE PARTNERS HERE.

GO, WENDY! GO, WENDY!

GO! GO!

COME ON!

I KNOW I PUT IT IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

UP THE KEY! COME ON!

[WHISTLES]

AAH!

[ROAR]

NIKKI, PLEASE!

HA!

HA HA HA HA!

[ROAR]

WELL...THAT CONCLUDES OUR PRESENTATION.

YEAH.

SO, DID WE GET IT?

AAH!

OH!

DO YOU FEEL

THAT YOU'RE BEING EXPLOITED AS WOMEN?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.

HAVE YOU DEVELOPED A RELATIONSHIP

WITH YOUR CAPTORS?

DO YOU FIND YOURSELF

PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO THEM?

OH, GROSS!

* SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU STANDING *

* RIGHT WHERE YOU STOOD *

* SHOULD HAVE LET YOU GO *

* SHOULD HAVE HAD THE SENSE TO KNOW *

* LIKE A TRAIN, YOU'D COME *

* AND I'D LOSE MY PLACE *

* NOW I'M ON THIS TRIP *

* I TOOK A FALL FROM GRACE *

* NOWHERE TO RUN *

* NOWHERE TO HIDE *

* FROM THE LOOK OF LOVE *

* FROM THE EYES OF PRIDE *

* NOWHERE TO GO *

* NO PLACE TO RUN *

* FROM THE LOOK OF LOVE *

* NOW I'VE COME UNDONE *

* MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR *

* I KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG *

* THAT'S A LIE *

* I KNOW NOTHING *

* EXCEPT THAT YOU'RE GONE *

* THERE'S MORE TO LEARN FROM THE LOOK IN YOUR EYES *

* A TRIP 'ROUND THIS WORLD *

* WITH STARS *

* IN THE SKY **

HELLO, MR. BELL.

AH, THERE HE IS.

COME ON IN, MY DEAR BOY!

WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.

HAVE YOU BEEN UP HERE BEFORE?

IS THIS RENT-CONTROLLED OR WHAT?

ACTUALLY, I OWN THE BLOCK.

EXCUSE THE MESS.

I RECENTLY LOST ELWOOD, MY HOUSEKEEPER.

HE QUIT?

NO, NO. I LOST HIM.

I THINK HE'S IN THE WEST WING SOMEWHERE.

SOMETIMES AT NIGHT,

I THINK I HEAR HIM CRYING.

IT'S MOST DISTRESSING.

ANYWAY, I MEANT TO HAVE YOU HERE SOONER.

BUT, AS YOU KNOW, I TRAVEL A LOT

SEARCHING THE SPHERE

FOR ENDANGERED ANIMALS THAT NEED MY HELP,

SUCH AS THE PATAGONIAN FELIS CONCOLOR

I SENT YOU FOR.

UM...MR. BELL.

I HAVE SOME HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE NEWS.

REALLY?

I...

WE'D--WE'D--WE'D BETTER SIT DOWN.

I PICKED UP THE CAT AS I PROMISED I WOULD,

BUT, UH, SOMETHING HAPPENED.

A--A WOMAN... HAPPENED, ACTUALLY.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO DRIVE HER TO THE BUS STATION--

[PURR]

MURRAY? HE'S HERE?

HE'S BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT.

YOUR FIANCEE BROUGHT HIM.

MY FIANCEE?

[CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS]

HELLO, COUNSELOR.

HOW--

HOW--

I TOLD YOU. I HAVE MY METHODS.

YOU'RE SHIVERING, LOUDIE.

WANT A DRINK OR SOMETHING?

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE A LITTLE WARMING UP.

Mr. Bell: WHAT A MAGNIFICENT CITY...

A CITY OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES,

ESPECIALLY IN THE RAIN.

THEY SAY THAT NO 2 DROPS OF RAIN

ARE IDENTICAL.

I BELIEVE THAT'S NO 2 SNOWFLAKES.

I BELIEVE IT'S NEITHER.

IT'S NO 2 LOVES THAT ARE IDENTICAL.

FOR EXAMPLE, I LOVE THIS INFURIATING TOWN.

I LOVE WOMEN WHO LAUGH.

I LOVE WOMEN WHO REFUSE TO LAUGH...

WON TON SOUP, HALLOWEEN.

I LOVE ALL THESE THINGS IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

NONE SWEETER THAN THE OTHER.

LIFE IS GRAND.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN, MR. BELL.

I BELIEVE YOU DO.

SHE'S QUITE EXTRAORDINARY.

EXTRAORDINARY.

TO NOT GROWING OLD...

GRACEFULLY.

TO TODAY...

THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

IT'S NOT OVER YET.

[SNORE]

[SNORE]

I NEEDED THAT.

HOW LONG WAS I OUT FOR?

TIME TO TAKE MURRAY UPSTAIRS.

WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN ME?

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

IT'S BEEN MY DREAM FOR DECADES

TO CREATE A REFUGE HERE IN THE CITY

WHERE ENDANGERED SPECIES COULD REPOPULATE THEMSELVES.

I'VE SAVED OVER 27 INDIVIDUAL BREEDS SO FAR.

LET'S HOPE MURRAY IS FEELING AMOROUS TONIGHT.

I THINK HE IS. IT'S IN THE AIR.

[SNARL]

[ANIMAL NOISES]

[WHISTLES]

GEE WHIZ!

MR. BELL, YOU REALLY OUTDID YOURSELF THIS TIME.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND

A BETTER BRAZILIAN RAIN FOREST

ANYWHERE ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE.

I HAD NO IDEA.

I MEAN, THIS IS...

THIS IS...OH, WOW!

[GROWL]

YOU MADE IT, MUR. YOU'RE HOME!

HE LIKES ME.

COME ALONG. THIS WAY.

[WOLF WHISTLE]

I HAVE A 2-BEDROOM DUPLEX ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

THE LIVING ROOM ISN'T THIS BIG.

THERE'S A KITCHEN OFF TO THE SIDE.

I DON'T HAVE NEAR AS MANY PLANTS.

HERE, BABY.

HA HA HA!

[GROWL]

HA HA! THERE SHE IS.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, MURRAY.

SHE'LL LOVE YOU, BABY.

[GROWL]

[MEOW]

WELL, I'VE, UH...

I'VE GOT TO GO.

MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. BELL.

[MEOW]

COMING, DEAR.

SORRY I'M LATE.

I HAD SOME RATHER IMPORTANT GUESTS.

OH, MR. BELL!

UH, WHERE ARE WE?

WHICH W--

MR. BELL?

I THINK IT'S THIS WAY.

[AROO]

NO. NO.

UH...WHICH WAY IS WEST?

HA!

LOUDON, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

A LONG TIME?

YEAH.

4 YEARS.

A LONG TIME.

YEAH.

A LONG TIME.

[PURR]

HMMPH!

THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A COUPLE OF SECONDS.

THEN WE'RE GOING STRAIGHT

TO THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE

WITH ALL THE EVIDENCE.

I'LL GIVE A COPY TO THE NEWSPAPERS.

CAN'T YOU SEE THE HEADLINES?

"INNOCENT, BEAUTIFUL GIRL NABS MYSTERY MURDERER."

HOW'S THAT SOUND?

YOUR BOX NUMBER?

6111.

SIGN IN, PLEASE.

* BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA *

[DOOR BUZZES]

THINK THIS WILL BE ON THE 6:00 NEWS?

I HAVEN'T BEEN ON TELEVISION BEFORE.

HEY, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE READY

TO HANG OUT WITH A CELEBRITY?

I WONDER IF MY MOM'S GOING TO SEE IT

IN PHILADELPHIA.

SHE'S GOT THIS, UM, THIS BROTHER JOE--

THAT'S MY UNCLE JOE-- AND I GOT COUSINS.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF RELATIVES,

BUT IT WOULD BE GREAT

IF MY RELATIVES COULD SEE IT.

IT'D BE GOOD.

THEN WE GOTTA LEAVE. FIND SOME SUN.

WE BOTH COULD USE IT.

LOOK AT ME... 4 YEARS IN THE CAN

AND PALE AS A GHOST.

CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE

SOME FUN AND SUN YOURSELF.

WHY DO YOU SMOKE SO MANY CIGARETTES?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO WITH THEM.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I'M MARRYING WENDY WORTHINGTON IN 2 HOURS...

AS SCHEDULED.

AS SCHEDULED.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO OPEN THAT?

NO.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

NIKKI, YOU REALLY DIDN'T THINK

THAT I WAS GOING TO...

I MEAN...

I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING.

SEE? TOLD YOU

IF WE CHECKED OUT THE BUS STATION,

WE'D FIND HER.

ARE YOU GOING TO TELL THE CAPTAIN

THAT IT WAS ALL YOUR IDEA?

WELL, IT WAS.

WAS NOT!

WAS, TOO. WAS NOT.

WAS, TOO. WAS NOT.

WAS, TOO.

OH, MAN. THAT'S IT.

WHEN THIS THING'S OVER,

I'M APPLYING FOR A TRANSFER.

FINE.

I'LL TYPE IT UP FOR YOU.

AAH! AAH!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU GET ON.

SO, UH...

MAKE SURE YOU CONTACT YOUR PAROLE OFFICER.

AND REGISTER WITH THE EMPLOYMENT PEOPLE.

MAYBE YOU CAN GET A JOB IN AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL

'CAUSE YOU SEEM TO HAVE A WAY WITH WILD...

ANIMALS.

Man: LET'S GO! LAST CALL!

[BEEP BEEP]

THAT'S YOUR LIFE CALLING.

YEAH.

YEAH, I GOT TO GO.

SEE YOU, TROTT.

DON'T FORGET TO WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT.

THERE SHE GOES. MOVE!

AAH!

AND SHUT THOSE GIRLS UP!

LET'S MOVE.

[HONK HONK]

[ENGINE BACKFIRES]

[CHAMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[COUGH]

[SNARL]

[SNORE]

[ENGINE BACKFIRES]

OH, MY LORD.

OH, MY CAR!

LOOK AT MY CAR!

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

OH, LOOK. IT'S A WRECK.

OH, BABY.

SORRY. I DON'T SEE IT.

WHAT DO YOU SEE, A NICK?

A NICK?

A NICK? NO!

HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT?

IT'S EVERYWHERE.

OH.

YOU DECIDED TO JOIN US.

ROGERS, I WON'T BE NEEDING THAT SHOTGUN AFTER ALL.

ANY PROBLEM WITH OPERATION PRISONER SHUTTLE?

CLOCKWORK.

HELLO, WALTER.

THERE YOU ARE.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'M SORRY, DEAR. I WAS DELAYED

DOING AN ERRAND FOR YOUR FATHER.

I TRIED CALLING YOU ALL LAST NIGHT.

OH, I WAS AT MY, UH... BACHELOR PARTY.

YOU KNOW, MY LAST BIG HURRAH.

YES.

DAMN RIGHT IT WAS.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE BRIDESMAIDS?

THERE ARE THE WORDS

I HAD PRINTED UP FOR THE CEREMONY.

"WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS LOVE"?

NO, NO. THAT'S WHAT I SAY.

YOU SAY THIS...

"IT'S THE ONLY THING

THAT THERE'S JUST TOO LITTLE OF."

OH, STOP!

[THUD]

WENDY!

HEY!

HEY!

OH! EXCUSE ME.

OH! SORRY.

HEY!

EXCUSE ME!

[HONK HONK]

[PLAYING WEDDING MARCH]

I'M JUST SO TIRED OF THE BAR SCENE.

YEAH. I EVEN TRIED A DATING SERVICE.

IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

HOW DO WE MEET GIRLS?

AAH! AAH!

"WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS LOVE, SWEET LOVE."

"NO, NOT JUST FOR SOME, BUT FOR EVERYONE."

YOU ALL RIGHT?

DAMN IT! DAMN IT!

TAXI! TAXI!

COME ON, LET'S GO!

GET OFF MY FOOT!

LOUDON, WENDY...

WE'VE ALL HEARD THE SAYING,

"THEY'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER."

WELL, WHOEVER COINED THAT PHRASE

MIGHT HAVE HAD THESE TWO FINE YOUNG PEOPLE IN MIND.

IMAGINE, A NICE GIRL LIKE THAT

FORGETTING HER WEDDING DAY.

HELLO!

OPEN UP THE GATE, OK?

LOUDON, OPEN THE GATE, OK?

I GOT SOMETHING I GOT TO TELL YOU.

LOUDON!

[BRIDESMAIDS SCREAMING]

HEY, IT'S THE BRIDESMAIDS! IT'S DIANE!

OPEN THE GATE! OPEN THE GATE!

A PORSCHE!

QUICK! OPEN THE GATE!

PLEASE, OPEN THE GATE!

OH, THE POLICE!

THE POLICE! THE POLICE!

OK, NIK.

GIVE US THE STUFF, NIKKI.

IS THAT YOUR TOUGH LOOK, RAOUL?

THAT'S THE BEST YOU COULD DO?

NIKKI, DON'T MAKE US TAKE IT FROM YOU.

NO, NIKKI.

MAKE US TAKE IT FROM YOU.

WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?

HA HA!

OW!

GIVE IT BACK!

PERHAPS BURT BACHARACH IS RIGHT.

"LOVE, SWEET LOVE."

PERHAPS IT REALLY IS

THE ONLY THING THERE'S JUST TOO LITTLE OF.

HEY, THIS IS THE WORTHINGTON PLACE.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Bridesmaids: WE'RE TRYING TO GET IN!

OH, HANG ON. WENDY GAVE ME THE KEY.

I HAD HER IN MY CAB ONCE. HEE HEE HEE HEE!

FIRST TIME I EVER SEEN THIS BROAD SHUT UP.

LET'S DO IT TO HER

LIKE WE DID TO HER BOYFRIEND.

IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE, MY BROTHER.

[CLICK]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

YO, BOSS. IT'S THAT CAT AGAIN.

MURRAY!

OH, SHIT. NOT AGAIN.

POLICE. EVERYONE'S UNDER, UH...

UNDER ARREST.

SO THERE.

THANKS, MUR.

[SNARL]

ALL RIGHT, DROP 'EM.

WHAT?

THESE ARE YOUR RIGHTS.

HEY!

AAH! AAH!

OHH! OHH!

[HORN PLAYS NEW YORK, NEW YORK OFF-KEY]

IF THERE'S ANYONE HERE WHO KNOWS ANY REASON

WHY THESE TWO SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED...

YEAH!

[GASP] [GASP]

I GOT 2 REASONS.

THE BRIDE'S FATHER IS AN EMBEZZLER AND A MURDERER.

[CROWD GASPS]

MY EX-BOYFRIEND JOHNNY SCATELLI FOUND OUT

HE WAS SKIMMING MONEY OFF HIS FIRM'S TRUST FUND,

SO HE HIRED TWO GOONS TO HIT JOHNNY,

AND THEY STUFFED HIM IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR.

I TOOK THE FALL AND DID 4 YEARS IN THE SLAMMER

WHILE THIS CREEP OF THE EIGHTIES WENT FREE!

Crowd: NO!

AND THE SECOND REASON...

THE GROOM IS IN LOVE WITH ME.

NO! NO!

LOUDON, TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE.

I CAN'T.

BUCK!

SHE'S CRAZY!

LOOK HOW SHE'S DRESSED!

SHE CAN'T PROVE A WORD OF IT!

I THINK SHE CAN.

INTERESTING READING!

NOW, WOULD YOU--

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

HYAH!

I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END THIS WAY, SON,

BUT YOU SHOULD'VE JUST TAKEN HER TO THE BUS.

LOUDON!

THANKS, HONEY.

GET HIM!

VIOLENCE!

OH!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

FIRST TIME HERE?

YOU'LL TAKE CARE OF ME, WON'T YOU, BUCKIE?

OF COURSE I WILL. I'M VERY MUSCULAR.

AAH! AAH!

WHO'S WINNING?

I DON'T KNOW YET, HON.

HOPE YOU WIN.

THANK YOU.

AFTER THIS, LET'S GO TO PHILLY.

I HAVEN'T SEEN MY MOM FOR 4 YEARS.

OK!

HURRY UP. I'M BORED.

SO, TELL ME,

ARE YOU GIRLS TOGETHER?

YEAH! YEAH!

THAT'S FOR THE 4 YEARS YOU STOLE FROM NIKKI!

AND THIS IS FOR ME!

AAH!

OH!

HYAH!

HYAH!

WHOA!

HA!

* MM MM MM MM *

TRY SOME CAKE, HONEY.

IT'S DELICIOUS.

AWW. AWW.

SO, STILL PUTTING IN FOR THAT TRANSFER?

YEAH. TALKING TO THE CAPTAIN

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

TOMORROW'S SUNDAY, MAN.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, FORGET IT.

BESIDES...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME ANYWAY?

YOU KNOW?

HI...

DOYLE.

I FIGURE WE CAN OPEN UP AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL.

WE CAN CALL IT THE CRITTER CRISIS CENTER.

I COULD TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS.

YOU COULD COUNT THE MONEY.

YOU KNOW, ADD UP THE FIGURES.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

WHO'S THERE?

OLIVE.

OLIVE WHO?

I LOVE YOU, NIKKI FINN.

OH...

THAT'S SO SWEET.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

LOUDON.

WHAT?

COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

UH-HUH.

SHUT UP AND KISS ME.

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

[WHISTLES]

[ROAR]

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* WHEN YOU SEE HER *

* SAY A PRAYER AND KISS YOUR HEART GOODBYE *

* SHE'S TROUBLE IN A WORD *

* GET CLOSER TO THE FIRE *

* RUN FASTER *

* HER LAUGHTER BURNS YOU UP INSIDE *

* YOU'RE SPINNIN' 'ROUND AND 'ROUND *

* YOU CAN'T GET UP *

* YOU TRY, BUT YOU CAN'T *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* YOU TRY TO AVOID HER *

* FATE IS IN YOUR HANDS *

* SHE'S SMILIN' *

* AN INVITATION TO THE DANCE *

* HER HEART IS ON THE STREET *

* TU CORAZON ES SUYO *

* NOW YOU'RE FALLIN' AT HER FEET *

* YOU TRY TO GET AWAY, BUT YOU CAN'T *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* LIGHT UP MY LIFE *

* SO BLIND I CAN'T SEE *

* YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE *

* NO ONE CAN HELP ME NOW *

* RUN FASTER *

* HER LAUGHTER BURNS YOU UP INSIDE *

* YOU'RE SPINNIN' 'ROUND AND 'ROUND *

* YOU CAN'T GET UP *

* YOU TRY, BUT YOU CAN'T *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* LIGHT UP MY LIFE *

* SO BLIND I CAN'T SEE *

* YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE *

* NO ONE CAN HELP ME NOW *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* NOW *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* NOW *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* NOW *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* ¿QUIEN ES ESA NINA? *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL? *

* SENORITA MAS FINA *

* WHO'S THAT GIRL... **

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--