Original subtitles

The following program contains strong language and scenes of drug use.

So the coke is just for work and for my excellent dancing.

And benzos are for sleeping and to get me through boring stuff like this.

And the wine and vodka are just, well, they go with tea.

Can I go now, please?

My family made me come when I came, but... Miss Malloy, I don't want to

you, but this is shocking.

I can honestly say I've never seen anyone, well, walk into here with this

of substance abuse.

But I did give up comquats.

Progress, not perfection.

Well, that's a recovery term. Are you going to N .A. or A .A.? God, no.

You have to stack the chairs at the end like at school assembly.

Well, I don't know what you want from me. I feel a referral to medical rehab

my only ethical option.

Well, can't you just, like, write me a prescription?

Stop me taking all the drugs and booze and stuff.

But pick one that'll give me a buzz, cos I can't watch the news sober these

days.

Look, if you've been being truthful with me... Well, I can't remember what I've

told you, so that's fairly unlikely.

Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do. Like I say, my family made

me come. I think I'm going to die or some such shite.

Rosie, you are.

Yeah, yeah, we're all going to die. I know my existential philosophy just as

well as you.

No, Rosie, imminently.

This is a near lethal dose of chemicals. You could expire at any second.

Near lethal, so not actually lethal. I mean, that's all right.

No, no, it's serious.

Any second, you could just... What I could like, explode.

You need specialist care.

Residential care.

A psychiatrist, drugs and alcohol counselling.

With celebrities?

That would be confidential.

Wink if someone from this morning has been in.

I knew it.

I didn't wink.

Yeah, but we all know it.

Guess what the hardest drug is to give up. Have a guess, have a guess.

Heroin.

No, Rosie.

It's love.

Really? No, it's heroin.

Oh, well, I've never done heroin.

Morphine.

Codeine. Tramadol. Oh, yeah, I love those.

Sugar. Yes, sweetie.

No, no, I'm giving up one thing at a time, so sugar would be a good one to

with. Don't those NHS doctors always say that giving up fags is the best thing

for your health? That's really, really hard, though. And vaping is so immature.

All the kids stink of blueberries.

No.

I thought I'd beat Sweetie's first.

Well, if you have pink gin with Slimline Tonic, it's basically sugar -free.

Oh, I'm going to be so thin.

And then you can give up cocaine. We have a plan.

And then the woman from the family addiction support group said, they said

you'd steal my jewellery and remorganise the house. They said you couldn't be

fixed and that you'd die. And I can't have you die as well as your dad because

need someone to do the back of my hair for parties.

I can do that if she dies, Mum. No, you can't. You don't even know what do the

back of my hair means.

It means to put curlers in.

No, it doesn't.

Rosie, can you not see what you've done to our mum? I didn't do it.

Her whatever -it -is family addiction bought boot did it. They know what

talking about.

If they know what they're talking about, then why did they meet in a scout hut

opposite a car wash, Jai? Oh, my God. Rosie, we've talked about this.

You were going to change.

Just like Dad.

I know. Why do you think I'm self -destructing? I'm not self -destructing.

I've been through exactly the same thing.

Yeah, but you're boring. I'm in pain.

I miss Dad so much.

Feels like my heart's been cut out. My heart feels like it's made of crude oil

with rusty nails in it. My skin physically hurts from grief.

And I cry in my sleep.

Poor feckin' you, Pear.

I look forward to dyin'. That's what I've got left.

You two get to grieve for a bit, and then you can go back to your jobs and

love lives and your friends.

Mum, you have lots to look forward to. Rosie, I lost a child, and I really hope

that neither of you has to go through that. But my entire life, every second

every day, was thinking about Kevin.

And now I've lost Conal, too.

So, I'm afraid the two of you are entitled to your grief.

But you're not even in the same ballpark until you've lost the two loves of your

life.

Three, if I lose you, Rosie.

Mum, I'll give AA a try.

Maybe Ruby's mum could take you. No, not with her. She's so comforting, it makes

me sick.

Please, just once, Rosie, please.

Please, Ruthie.

I'll go to a meeting.

I'll go to a meeting, all right, all right. Thank you.

Both of you.

But you're coming with me.

Um, OK. Uh, there's an open meeting in half an hour. Come on, then.

No, no.

Fine, fine.

Oh.

Oh, ew.

They do instant coffee, don't they?

Chocolate. Oh, that's tea in.

That was a flat one. You can tell they're chocolate.

You have to have a spherical one.

I don't have to do anything anyone tells me to do.

You damn rebel wretch.

Eat it.

Chewy toffee.

Ah, curse you. Curse you to hell.

Sorry, Mom.

Sorry, Mom.

Honeycomb. Thank you, bumblebees.

Do you feel lucky, Pa?

Oh, shit.

No, Rosie, this is peanut. Get your mother.

But you're allergic to peanuts. I know that, Rosie. Get your mother. Get the

every pound, quick.

I didn't think they were peanuts. I'm sorry.

I didn't know. Mum!

Mum!

Mum, I didn't know.

Were you trying to kill him?

I can't be expected to remember every chocolate ingredient in every packet of

bloody sweets.

Milk tray.

Surprise parcel.

Salted caramel.

Strawberry temptation.

Orange truffle.

Fudge duet. Truffle heart.

Perfect praline.

Caramel softie.

Hazelnut swirl.

Celebration.

Malteser Teasers, Mini Mars Bar, Milky Way, Galaxy, Galaxy Caramel, Bounty and

Snickers, which contain peanuts.

Roses, Country Fudge, Golden Barrel, Tangy Orange Cream,

Truffle, Strawberry Dream, Hazel Whirl, Hazel and Caramel and Caramel. Would

you like me to describe the wrappers for you, Rosie, perhaps?

Well... Strawberry dream comes in... How do you know this?

You know how I know this.

To Kevin.

Yes, because of Kevin. And because I married buggerlugs in there who also has

deadly peanut allergy.

And it's not their fault that they're ill.

Were ill in Kevin's case.

But the fact of the matter is, they both love peanuts.

Loved. I know. I just forgot.

Your daddy loves them so much, he wants them sprinkled on his coffin when he

dies, which, thanks to you, might have been today.

Sorry. Too right.

It's our job to be looking out for them. Why, though? Why does it have to be us?

Because Kevin was weak and you're strong.

Because your daddy's an idiot and you're smart.

Well done. Thank you.

Here's your daddy now.

How are we doing, lovey?

Sorry to give you a scare, Erwin.

You didn't scare me.

Couldn't care less, me.

Sorry, Rosie. I should have reminded you.

Dad, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no. What have you got to be sorry for? Now, I think we should all

celebrate my robust health with a lovely big bag of KP honey -roasted peanut.

Oh.

And a pint.

What did you think was going to happen?

I didn't think a simple AA meeting would turn into the Rosie Malloy show.

They thought I was funny.

Those weren't tears of laughter, mate. And why did you invite me to the pub

afterwards? Yeah, and none of them came.

Called themselves alcoholics.

I think you should take some responsibility for this and get another

It's the least you can do under the circumstances and I'll have a double

time, thanks.

Fine.

I'll have another pint, please, mate, and a...

Double wine.

Really? It's your choice.

Oh.

I don't really want it now.

It's good!

But it's important to support the brewing industry in our country.

What about the pills?

It's important to support the pharmaceutical industry in this country.

And the sex of strange men?

I'm slutty.

Rosie, I want you to see a therapist.

I'll go to a therapist.

I'll go to a therapist. All right, all right.

Thank you.

But you're going to be the therapist.

Stop trying to manipulate me.

I can't. Read the literature. It's a disease.

It's really fun once, to be honest.

We therefore commit this body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

dust to dust, in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to the eternal life.

Nobody touched this bread.

Well, it's all a bit beige, isn't it? But Joe is here, and we don't want to

overexcite him.

I had a tropical fruit salad for breakfast, actually.

And two coffees.

Ooh, someone called the Lion Tamer. Stop it, you two.

The thing while we're here is to talk about Rosie.

And as a child of an addict and a user, I do have some experience... Isn't it

funny how really, really healthy girls are always boring as a sock?

You're looking very well, Nico.

Are you on the old diet pills?

Met a nice girl?

Or a boy?

All three win. Thanks for noticing.

Well, this is already a disaster.

Everybody be quiet.

I want to say to you all, please stop trying to help.

All of you just shut up and consume some own brand potato snacks. Thank you.

Why are you trying to help me when you know you can't?

I have to do it myself.

And you're all just encouraging my rebellious side.

I think you're all stupid.

She's right. Change comes from within. Oh, my God.

Rosie, we love you.

No, not good enough. I know you love me. But me most.

Oh, shut up, you strange bisexual centipede. I read about a woman whose

bitten off by an alligator.

Oh, my God, that is hilarious.

Oh, sorry, it's serious.

Do you think nobody loved her?

But she didn't become an addict.

And I read about a little boy with a brain tumour. Dead, like.

Loads of people loved him.

Raised thousands for charity, met Jürgen Klopp. Can someone open a window? I

feel like I'm having a funny turn.

Or is this real? I can't tell.

Mum, please.

Anyway, that little kid wasn't addicted to anything.

Maybe he was addicted to raising money for charity.

Look, my point is, nothing particularly bad has happened to me, ever. But I'm

still an addict.

I haven't got any tragic story or trauma I need to cover up with my using stuff.

I just do it.

I do it because I like it. I love it.

You can't therapy it out of me, okay?

What about when you were raped?

Oh, that's a terrible thing to say, Nico.

No, love, you're a wit, but that one's really not great.

Oh, they don't know.

I wasn't raped.

It was, uh...

I woke up and some guy asked not to have sex with me was having sex with me. It

wasn't a rape.

That's literally a rape.

Well, I barely remember it.

And it happens to everyone.

I mean, I wasn't even bothered. I don't even think about it.

I mean, that wasn't even the first time that had happened.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You can't blame that.

I was already off my face by the time I passed out, so it was totally my fault.

What about the time you got stabbed at Pride when you were 15? Ooh, good one.

fault. I'm not gay. What was I doing at Pride in the first place?

When you couldn't pay your rent after uni and had to move home and sat in your

bed for a month crying.

Or that dog trying to bite your face off when you were a baby.

What? That dog loved you.

We should never have shot him.

Your overdoses?

I thought she only did that once.

Yeah, a few times.

He told me about your abortions. And I'm a fucking terrible best mate. I'm

giving you PTSD nearly by proximity.

I don't know why you're bringing all this stuff up.

Because that's why we're trying to help you, because you have had some bad stuff

happen. But so have all of you.

Loads of stuff.

All the same stuff.

You know, like being robbed or attacked or getting sick or suicidal.

Or racist stuff that I assume that you've dealt with, Ruby.

I have.

I've said sorry.

Brill. And, Mum, you lost Dad.

And you lost your kid. You're not an addict.

No, Rosie.

I just don't have that disease.

It's not a disease.

An allergy is a disease. An inherited allergy is a disease.

But this, the reason you're all here, is all my fault.

Now have another crisp.

No, I can't do that to myself.

You know, you're my best friend.

And all serious.

You're a daughter. You're a drinking buddy.

You're a small, smelly, pooey, farty little ball bag.

You're my best mate.

We should sing an Irish song.

Because... Because why?

Because you're Irish. I don't know why.

Oh, wait, I know Riverdale.

Okay, we'll sing now.

Oh, wait, no, no, it doesn't have any words. Of course it does, of course.

Come on, I'm waiting.

The legs woman comes on. I can do this bit, watch.

You should have done this more often, you know. Oh, thank you, sir. Don't tell

anyone. You're my best friend.

Yeah, he says.

One of those were your hunk and breath.

No, no. I just have, like, anxiety.

I worry about stuff, and these keep me calm.

You should drink more.

I do.

Does it work?

No.

I think your ma was on something like that after we Kevin -died.

I was in here, you know.

Yeah, she was on Prozac.

That's right.

Dried her downstairs up like a desert load.

Terrible stuff.

Please don't ever mention Mom's downstairs again.

I'd love to have more Zandac.

All right, let's go.

We'll surprise your ma and go by the chippy. We've got a sausage for the

You're my best friend, eh?

Don't tell your ma about the sausage.

She'll ask me for one a week, and I'm two past my limit.

Yeah, two on the way home.

Four past my limit.

Oh, Christ, have you got a mint?

She'll smell them on my breath.

Dad, I think the stench of ten pints will cover it up.

Rosie, I am so glad you don't have allergy.

But promise me something.

Go on.

Promise first.

I don't know what it is.

I can't promise something that I don't know what it is. You could be about to

mention mum's downstairs again.

I promise.

It's literally one thing.

It's not hard either. Okay, okay, I promise.

Right.

If you're ill, regardless of whether it's a...

peanut -based malady, or simply you're stressed, and you have to take the

pills. You'll be responsible, right?

You'll take responsibility.

Of course.

Of course I will. I promise.

Did you put salt and vinegar on me?

Tell me what I do.

You don't even know the lyrics to Riverdance.

Don't.

So this one's on me.

It's all my fault.

And, you know, it is an allergy.

Being addicted to everything is an allergy.

As a child of an addict, I feel... Oh, shut up, child of an addict.

I've never been ill a day in my life. Can still fit into my wedding dress.

I mean, would you not go back to the doctor, lovey? She needs proper

psychotherapy. And a detox.

And then there's all the other stuff, like my sex addiction.

And the internet? I mean, I'm on a level of Candy Crush Saga that has butter

beans. Sex addiction.

You get that from me.

We tip.

Never take Prozac.

Oh, my God. Ma 'am, look, we can deal with all this psychological shit later,

but for now, Ruby is right. We just need to get her cleaned.

Sorry, do I get a say in all this?

Look, I told you, I know all this, I know it needs to be done, and I know

all trying to help, but please, just stop helping.

I'll do it when I'm ready.

I'm ready. Will someone take me to rehab in the morning, please?

Give me a break, Joey.

Scared? I mean, I think a hot bath and a cup of tea will be right as rain.

We got this far.

Let me help you with your coat.

Mum!

There you go. Okay.

No expecting you.

Come on, we'll see you in.

No, I can do it myself.

Thank you.

Thanks for helping.

We'll watch you walk in. Of course.

I don't trust me either.

And it finishes with... And then it's just freaking

flatly panning about.

Dad, please stop singing Riverdunk. Just because I'm full.

Fine. But only if you promise me one more thing.

I just promised you one thing.

It's okay, okay, I promise one more thing.

Listen to me.

If you ever feel in danger, right?

If you feel like someone's out to get you.

Ever.

Just lie your arse off and run, okay?

Give me a sign.

What does it take to shake a beer? I feel imprisoned in

my

pocket moment.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this program, help is

available online at sky .com forward slash viewer support.