All language subtitles for Road To Avonlea s03e12 The Calamitous Courting of Hetty King

Now, just wait a minute.

Let me check it.

Where's my specs?

Somebody see some specs?

There you go.

Now, don't get up too quickly.

I'll help you.

Well, that's very nice of you, young
lady. Thank you muchly.

Higgins and Names skates are the game.

Walter Higgins, salesman, Windy City
Skate Company, home of the newly

boot skate.

When things are turning glum, get off
your derriere. Take your sweetie

You'll feel a lot merry air.

I made that up myself.

With every purchase, you'll get a signed
copy by yours truly.

Well, I'm sure you'll sell a lot of
skates in Avonlea. The Winter Festival's

Saturday. We'll go get your horse,
mister.

We'll get your stuff and meet you up at
the general store.

Come on, Felix.

I'll help you carry your thing.

The least we can do.

Thank you, Butchley. What do you say we
dipsy -doodle into town?

Come on.

Come on, girls.

Ask me to the winter festival by now.
Have you told Gus that yet? You don't

the first thing about boys.

They never know what they want until you
tell them yourself.

Why should I always have to be the one
to tell them? Because if you don't, I'll

never speak to you again as long as I
live.

That's Felicity King.

She practically throws herself on Gus
Pike.

I hear he hasn't invited her to the
skating party, though.

This wonderful idea just popped into my
head. I had to tell you about it.

Why don't you ask Felicity to the
skating party?

Uh... I don't know, Sarah.

I ain't thought much about it.

Oh.

Well, when you finish thinking about it,
will you tell me?

Sure.

I mean, I guess.

Mrs. Higgins and Stitches.

Sad to say, madam, there is no Mrs.
Higgins.

Poor soul. Did she pass on?

Well, if she did, she just passed right
on by me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know it's not
right to joke about a serious matter

wedding blitz.

To tell you the truth, I just never
found the right girly for this

traveling man.

You're a bachelor?

A catch like you?

Oh, not by choice, I assure you. No, no,
no, no. If I had my own way, I

wouldn't like anything better than to
settle down with some sweet little

and a nice little burg like Avonlea.

Well, you've come to the right place,
Mr. Higgins.

We got more spinsters here than a cat's
got whiskers.

Wow, these are awful pretty.

Bit of a tight squeeze, though.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, not
this one. This is, uh...

This is not for sale. This is sort of a
good luck charm.

Now, this is the 5 '6 quad A perfect
skate for

the perfect little feminine tootsie.

All these years and all the traveling
I've done, I've never found the perfect

tootsie -wootsies for this skate.

But when I do, that'll be the girl of my
dreams.

Gracious providence. That's a real
romantic notion, Mr. Higgins.

Bollocks. in love with a girl for her
feet?

Feet, Mrs. Lynn, are one of the great
mysteries of this life.

You can tell so much about a person by
their feet.

The shape, the rise of the arch, length
of the toes.

What do they tell you?

Well, okay, for instance, now here is a
nice high arch.

That shows creativity and artistic
personality.

And if you've got even toes, straight
across.

Well, that's a straight shooter.

Somebody who's honest as the day is
long.

Well, now, if you've got your corns and
your calluses and your other

disruptions, well, that's a sign of a
pinched personality.

Someone whose life is full of worry,
woe.

Tell you the God's truth, Mr. Higgins, I
never thought about my feet that way.

Feet are the window of the soul, ladies.

You don't say.

What a notion.

Now, as much fun as I'm having here, I'm
sorry, ladies, but I'm going to have to

go on and see another customer.

So if you will excuse me, I'll pick up
the orders in the morning.

Oh, indeed.

Thank you, ma 'am. Here we are.

Well, toodle -doo, ladies.

Keep smiling.

A fine figure of a man.

What's Mr. Campbell doing out there?

I don't know, but whatever it is, I
don't like it.

As soon as we finish our tea, I'll go
out and then...

Mr.

Higgins, hello again.

Just so you know each other. Higgins is
the name. Skates are the game. Windy

City Skate Company. Now, if I may just
have two minutes of your precious time.

have an offer here. Mr.

Higgins, I'm afraid I don't on principle
converse with traveling salesmen.

And I certainly don't need any skates.
Thank you.

Wouldn't life be dull if we only got
what we needed?

Take diamonds, for instance.

Who needs diamonds?

Nobody. Who wants diamonds?

Every little lady in the land, that's
who. Now, if you'll just take a gander

here, at our brand -new Windy City
Special, you'll get two skates for the

of one. And I also throw in a lifetime
supply of laces.

Oh, really?

I'm not interested.

And three, at no cost to you whatsoever,
I also throw in, gratis from me, the

handy -dandy Windy City Special, which
is a portable skate sharpener.

guaranteed for the life of the customer
or the life of the skates, whichever

kicks the bucket first.

Look, Mr. Higgins, you're wasting it.
Say, is that fresh homemade cake I

It is, as a matter of fact. Why don't
you come?

To tea?

Oh, I'd give my soul for something hot.

You don't have to twist my arm, you
know.

I'll just put my case right down here.

Say, this is the nicest invite a fellow
ever got.

Would you like cream and sugar?

Double cream, triple sugar.

Say, this is real cozy.

Tea in the kitchen, homemade plum cake.

Sure beats hotels and restaurants.

Oh, we spend a good deal of time in
hotels, dear.

I'm a traveling salesman. It's the
lonesome life on the lonesome road. Say,

don't want you to think I'm one of these
complainers. I've got my customers.

They're real nice to me, but it's not
family.

I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me.

Something going on outside. I really
must investigate. Sarah, will you get my

coat? Say, no need to apologise. I
should be going anyway. Oh, no, no, say,

your tea.

I'll just change my boots here, if you
don't mind.

Oh,

Sarah can entertain you whilst I see
what that Wellington Campbell's up to

there, tromping around my property
without so much as a buy or leave.

Oh, forgive me for staring at your feet.

What size are they?

Oh, goodness, what a question.

I don't know.

Six, I think.

Quite A.

I'd bet on it.

Really, I've no idea.

Well, it's very pleasant to have met
you, Mr.

Higgins.

Mr. Higgins, here I'll show you out when
you're through.

Good day to you.

Size six, quad A.

Your aunt is not only a woman of
breeding and brains, but she's got the

perfect witsy -witsy -tootsies that I
have ever seen.

I must call on her again.

Do I have a chance?

You want to see Aunt Hetty again?

Oh, my goodness. Well, of course, Mr.
Higgins.

Come by tonight after supper. I'm sure
she'd be delighted.

Mr. Higgins.

Just what do you think you're doing?

You put my fence back where it was this
minute. Your fence is on my

property. Your property?

Rubbish. Check the maps, and it is my
contention a grievous error has been

An error?

What sort of an error?

It turns out Campbell property extends
50 feet beyond that old fence.

50 feet?

And therefore I am dismantling this
fence because it is sitting on my land,

I intend to use for my new stables. If
your information were correct, which I'm

sure it's not, this land has been in the
King family for generations. Too bad. I

want it back.

And you imagine you can clap your
fingers and just like that I'll hand

family property.

Well, you're not getting it, Wellington
Campbell.

Not an inch of it and that's that. I'm
not getting into an argument with you,

Hetty King. My solicitor will contact
your solicitor.

Solicitor? Oh, now... No Campbell backs
down on principles.

Principles, he said.

Oh, those are upsetting words.

Our principles, indeed.

The nerve of the man, stealing our land.

He just can't do that, Hetty. That land
is our heritage. Our father left it to

us. Well, I never... Wait till Alec gets
back from Charlottetown. He'll settle

this. Oh, we can't wait for Alec, Janet.
No, we must strike whilst the iron's

hot.

And since I'm the eldest, it's my
responsibility, so...

thing in the morning. I'm off to Carmody
to consult with our solicitor.

Sweets for the sweet.

Oh, uh, Mr.

Higgins. Sarah said it would be all
right if I called, Miss King. Oh, she

Say, you're not busy, are you?

Oh, uh, yes. Yes, as a matter of fact,
we're discussing family business.

Say, I don't want to butt in.

I want you to keep these, though. Just
think of me with every little bite.

Oh. Hello, Mr. Higgins.

Oh, my sister, Olivia. Mrs.

Jasperdale. And my sister -in -law, Mrs.

Alec King.

Mr.

Higgins.

Well, say, say, you don't want me around
if you're going to be doing family

business. You don't need a city slicker
barge in any.

I'll just tootle off back to the Roman
house and sit all by my lonesome.

Oh, you're just too sensible, Mr.
Higgins.

Well, since you're here, you may as well
come in and have a cup of hot cider or

whatever. Talk me into it.

Come on, Mr. Higgins.

Oh, Eddie, imported chocolate.

Oh, they cost a small fortune.

Hmm.

Waste of good money, if you ask me.

Melts in your mouth.

Who made this cake?

An angel?

Have you heard this one?

What's the difference between a married
man and a bachelor?

I don't know. Well, you see, your
married man kisses the missus, and the

bachelor misses the kisses.

some more cake, Mr. Higgins?

Say no. I'll be eating you out of house
and home.

Besides, I gotta be up bright and early
in the morning because I'm calling on

the general store over in Carmody. Oh,
Eddie's going to Carmody tomorrow too,

aren't you, Eddie?

Olivia!

Well, now, isn't that a coinkydinkie?

What do you say we dipsy -doodle over
there together?

Really, I couldn't impose on you, Mr.
Higgins. I'm going anyway.

I'd be real proud to have you right over
beside me.

It would be almost as scrumptious as
your plum cake if you were to call me

Wally. Well, I will, thank you.

Wally.

Ah,

breathe that fresh country air.

Nothing like it.

Listen to the birdies.

Birdies?

I think they love birdies.

Oh, Wally, I hope you don't think me too
particular, but they're birds, not

birdies.

No such word as birdies in the English
dictionary, you know. You know, I keep

forgetting that you're a schoolteacher.

But I will be your willing pupil, Lambie
Pie.

Lambie Pie.

I doubt you'll find Lambie Pie in the
dictionary either.

Get up.

I don't know what it is. I...

I just get around you and heck, I say
whatever pops into my head.

You do?

Things I would never tell anybody.

My, my. I can't say that ordinarily
people find me that easy to talk to,

Well, I do.

Because I've seen your feet.

My what?

Feet. My stock and trade.

You've got perfect feet.

Mr. Higgins.

Say whatever you want to say. Size six,
quad A.

are polite, genteel feet.

They're also determined.

They're no -nonsense feet. The tootsies
of a no -nonsense gal.

Well, the no -nonsense part is the
truth, I hope, Wally. Mr. Higgins.

Wally, Wally, Wally. Wally.

And pray tell what your own feet tell
you.

Well, my feet say that I fly at my wares
from Lake Superior to Oceanside.

And if there's one thing I do know,

It is I'm alone.

How about you, Sugar Dumplin'? Do you
ever feel lonesome?

Oh, no.

Generally, I'm too busy.

Oh, taking care of the house and raising
Sarah and, of course, teaching school.

What about those long winter nights?

You ever wish you had somebody to talk
to?

Oh, sometimes, of course.

Oh, but usually I make a nice hot cup of
tea and read a good book a while. The

Bible, for instance, until the feeling
passes, you know.

The Bible?

Isn't that a coinkydinky?

That's my favorite book next to the
skate catalog.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.

That saved a wretch like me.

I want what's lost.

But now I am found, was blind, but now I
see.

T 'was grace that led me to meet my
poopsie doodles.

T 'was grace that brought me home.

You should try one of those sandwiches,
Gus.

Felicity made them especially for you.

Ain't hungry.

Look. She made me come here, Gus, on
pain of death.

She thinks I can get you to ask her to
go to the skating party.

What do you say?

Take her so she'll quit nagging me, Gus?

I ain't going to no skating party.

I don't blame you.

I wouldn't take her, even if you paid me
a million dollars.

It ain't Felicity.

You... ain't going.

A better thing to do.

So, that's an 11 -D. I'll put in the
order. Thank you very much.

Good day.

Looks like good news.

Excellent good news from my solicitor.

That little family matter I mentioned to
you, it appears the other party hasn't

a leg to stand on.

Oh, Bootsy Tootles, are you all right?
It's not so loud, Wally.

Sit me down, please.

Get up.

Thanks for the ride, Wally.

I do hope I can return the favor
someday.

Why, wait for someday.

Come to the skating party with me.
That's all the favor I ask.

Skating party? No, I don't think so.
Just say yes.

Please, honey bunny.

One teensy tiny yes.

Oh, well, really, I'm...

Oh, I don't know. I... You're a woman
who always knows, Hetty King.

Yes, and I suppose so. I'd be going
anyway, so... Yippee!

Hallelujah!

You're looking at a very happy fellow.

I'll see you in my dreams, poopsie.

Okay.

Dum -dum -da -dum!

I'll see you in my dreams. So you were
eavesdropping, were you? Well, I am

shocked. But we like Wally. He certainly
admires you. We think it's wonderful.

Oh, you do.

I once was lost.

But now I'm found.

Fraction, the king's English. It's
criminal.

It's called coinkydinky and dipsy
doodle. Oh,

what does he have to say?

A honey bunny and a poopsie whoopsie.

I mean, no, it is. It's like baby talk.

Oh, no, Hetty, it's not baby talk. It's
love talk. I think it's darling whoopsie

whoopsie. It is not darling. It's
ridiculous.

Jasper doesn't talk to you in that
manner, does he?

No, but, oh, Hattie, it seems such a
shame to throw away a perfectly nice

Throw him away? What do you mean, throw
him away?

A man's not mine to throw away.

Just met him.

Hattie, for an educated woman, you could
be completely dense.

Dense?

Yes. Do you want to be alone in your old
age?

Thank you to leave my age out of this,
Olivia.

Hetty, forgive me, but you're not
getting any younger.

Who's going to look after you? Who's
going to bring you hot milk in the

of the night?

I've got Jasper, and Janet's more than
got her handful, and there is going to

awesome. We're at a finishing school,
and where will you be?

Oh, right here, where I belong.

All alone.

Aunt Hattie, could you please help me
with this?

I'm sorry.

Don't take it out. It looks pretty that
way.

Sarah, Sandy, I am a plain woman.

You certainly are not.

Look, you still have admirers.

Take Mr. Higgins, for example.

Higgins, Higgins, Higgins. I wish the
women in this family stopped badgering

about Wally Higgins. They're just
excited for you.

Oh. What's there to be excited about?

I'm going to the winter festival, that's
all.

With a skate salesman.

Who calls me Poopsie Woopsie.

Felicity, how about you and me... I
mean, would you accompany me to the

skating party?

Together. Us.

The two of us.

Thank you, Rupert, but I can't. I've
already spoken to her.

That was a big, bad lie.

It was only half the lie. I'm waiting
for Gus to ask me. Don't hold your

He isn't going to ask me. And how would
you know Felix came?

He says he isn't going to the skating
party.

He says he's got better things to do.

The skating party is going to be such
fun.

Why don't you just ask Felicity and get
it over with?

One little skating party isn't going to
hurt.

It ain't that.

What is it then?

I got no skates.

And... Ah, don't make no difference
anyway.

I got chores to do. I'll see you, Sarah.

Just what do you think you're doing?

I'm hammering the king fence back onto
king property.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

Look.

So, out of my way, Wellington Campbell.

This is legal hocus -pocus.

Hocus -pocus, no.

You were the one who threatened with
solicitors.

So now you have a taste of your own
medicine.

Oh, goodness, I am sorry. Oh, please,
let me see it. Don't you touch me. You

haven't heard the last of death.

Oh, well.

Sir Uncle Alex skates.

Thanks a lot, Sarah.

Never had skates before in my whole
life.

Never?

Aren't you going to need skating
lessons, then?

What for?

Ain't nothing to it.

Didn't walk.

Boo!

Vicious prevalence.

You scared me half to death.

Brought a little present from my sweet
cakes.

Sorry, Wally. Not now. I'm busy.

Roses are red.

Candy is sweet.

I love my poopsie for the size of a
feet. I made that up this morning,

especially for you.

Oh, Wally, I do thank you. I know you
mean well, but I

cannot accept any more gifts.

No. Thank you. Oh, come on. Don't be
like that.

You have to take these skates because
now you already said you were going to

skating party, right?

Please.

You don't know how important it is for
you to wear these for me.

You see?

Oh, for goodness sake.

I don't even skate. Try them on, honey
bunny.

Please. I'm dying to see if they fit.

Well... Tell her something, sugar
dumpling.

What is it, Wally?

What if... What if there was something
that was

very important to you, something that
you wanted more than anything in this

world?

What would you do?

That depends.

More than anything in the world...

You mean something like property?

Well, sort of.

That's quite simple.

Always, when I make up my mind I want
something, I fight for it.

And you don't give up?

Give up me?

Not on your life.

When there's a goal in sight, I fight to
the finish.

You're satisfied?

I'm delirious.

You have made me the happiest man on
God's green earth.

Hetty King.

Willie.

Willie, listen to me.

If you care for me, if you do...

Just go and let me get my work done.

If I care for you.

Poopsie doodles, of course I care for
you.

You've just made me the happiest man on
earth.

Felicity?

I was wondering if you'd like to go for
a skate?

I'd love to.

Great.

Happy, sugar dumpling?

No, my nose is rubbing, and my feet are
freezing, and I want to go home.

Pug! Pug!

Attention! Come on, come on. Come on,
come on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't take but just a minute.

The good Lord was smiling down at me the
day that Sarah Stanley spooked my horse

because that little lady led me to Rose
Cottage where I found Henny King, the

woman with the perfect tootsie -wootsies
in the whole world.

How can you stop that? She's just a
little shy, so I'm going to get right to

point. She told me the other day that
she cared for me and that I should fight

for what I wanted. So here goes.

What I want is you, Heidi King.

Yes?

Will you marry me?

With Hetty King, anything's possible.
How could she take advantage of such a

fine, sweet man as Mr. Higgins?

Hetty King has been a thorn in the side
of many before you, Mr. Higgins.

But... but... her feet. How could I have
misjudged herself?

Stand up to her, that's what. Why should
she get away with humiliating decent

folk in front of everyone? Using people
for her own ends? Leading a man on

shamelessly. Where will it end? Somebody
ought to take her down a peg or two.

Put her in her place.

Show her what's what. That's what.

Those little tootsies.

Quickly, Sarah.

More. Good.

More. Good.

With any consolation, Aunt Hattie, Mr.

Higgins feels worse than you do.

I never said I loved him, Sarah.

I never said I loved him. I didn't even
say I cared for him. What I said was, if

you care for me, then he took it the
wrong way. And now it's all a terrible,

terrible misunderstanding.

Can't ever show my face again.

The most embarrassing moment of my life.

That's what Felicity said.

Felix. Well, you did look really funny
crawling to the edge of the ice like

that. Felix, maybe you should stop
trying to be so helpful.

Then take these back where you find
them, too. I won't have no more use of

Well, I never thought Gus Pike was a
quitter.

I never thought I'd see you afraid of
anything.

Certainly nothing as silly as your own
pride.

Come on, feel it.

His feelings are so hurt.

After all, you did turn him down in
public.

I'll get it.

If it's him, tell him I'm gone. Tell him
I'm not home. Tell him I've left for

China.

Why doesn't Mr. Higgins have it?

Oh, it's just a messenger from the
solicitor's office in Carmody.

Give it to me.

Properly.

Miss Hattie King is hereby sued by Mr.
Wellington Campbell

for $250.

for intent to commit bodily harm and
assault with a dangerous weapon.

How could he?

All I did was hit his thumb with a
hammer.

Hetty King is hereby sued by Wally
Higgins for $250

for breach of promise and public
embarrassment.

Hetty King, you can't just hide under
there the rest of your life.

Yes, I can.

You have to get up and face this.

No, I don't.

Why don't you girls talk to her and I'll
go make her some tea.

Aunt Hetty, this isn't like you.

The humiliation.

No one in our family has ever been sued.

Here I get sued twice in one week.

Oh, no, I can't face the world. You
could just pay each of them $250.

Oh, nothing of the kind.

That's more like it, Aunt Teddy.

Now, why don't you try to explain?

It's beyond explanation, child.

Well, maybe Mr. Higgins might drop his
lawsuit if he thought you were already

promised to another man.

Felicity King.

We're not to get such an idea.

Well, I've done a considerable study on
these situations.

Men are very competitive.

You could use one man against the other
to get what you want.

My thumb is telling me, and it's your
fault.

Oh, oh, oh.

Well, what can I do to make up for this?

I know.

We'll split the difference on the
property.

You'd give me the land for hitting my
thumb?

Not exactly, no. There is one other
little matter I have to settle first.

What little matter?

Well, it seems that I'm also being sued
by a certain Mr.

Wally Higgins of Chicago for breach of
promise.

What does that have to do with my thumb?

Well, simply this.

I don't want to marry Mr. Higgins. I
need you to pose as

my fiancé.

You need me to what?

Pose as my fiancé.

Then we're engaged to be married. You
know, long engagement. And then Mr.

Higgins will be forced to withdraw his
suit, as I'm previously spoken for.

And if it works, half... The land is
mine?

Yes.

Strictly business?

Oh, of course.

What sort of a woman do you take me for?
Strictly business.

Then Wally will recognize his mistake
and go back to Chicago, and then you'll,

of course, withdraw your self -charge,
and then I'll consent to our little

business arrangement.

All right, you have yourself a deal. Oh,
no!

I am sorry.

Your what? Yes.

Miss King and I have been engaged for
years.

That's a load of hogwash. You don't know
everything about me, Rachel Lynn.

Certainly nothing about my private life.

You never told me.

You led me on.

You accepted the candies and the skates
and the whole time you were engaged to

him?

Yes. Do something.

All right. I will. I will.

I will. I'll fight for you.

Poopsie, just like you said that I
should.

Mr. Wellington Campbell, I challenge you
to a duel. A

duel?

Now, just a minute here. I'll be your
second, Mr. Higgins.

That done it, Mr. Wellington Campbell?

Face me, if you dare.

All right, Mr.

Higgins, anything to shut you up. Oh,
no, stop this, Willie. Stay out of this,

woman. Come on, Wally, show them what
you want.

Kitty, you've got to stop them.

That's what I try to live in. No one
listens to me.

Wally, Bob, and we, Jack.

Don't worry, Wally, look soft as much.

Doctor, quickly!

Hey, Felicity.

I come to give back to you.

Thanks your father for the loan of them.

Oh, you don't have to give them back,
Gus.

Nobody in our family uses them anymore.

Well, I should have told you the truth
in the first place. I got two left feet

and I can't skate or beans.

I was too proud to ask for help.

Gus, is that all?

I would have been happy to give you
lessons.

You should have seen me when I first
started skating.

I was so clumsy.

You could never be clumsy, Melissa.

Come on, let's try it right now.

Please wait up. I need to speak with
you. That's all right, poopsie.

There's nothing left to say.

I saw the truth today.

The truth?

You and Wellington Campbell.

You were kneeling there and you held him
in your arms.

I guess that's true love.

Things aren't always what they seem,
Wally.

I mean...

I would fight like a tiger for you,
sugar dumpling.

But I care too much to come between you
and the man you love.

I know when to throw in the towel.

I'll withdraw that lawsuit.

Well, I'm very gentlemanly, are we all?

I regret having done anything that would
have hurt you.

I do like you very much, but...

I never said I loved you.

Goodbye, poopsie.

You keep the skates.

I wouldn't want anyone else in the world
to have them.