Original subtitles

And your pastor thinks he's Caruso.

Well, he can sing, surely.

I'm hoping the large turnout today is not only curiosity as to how well the

pastor preaches.

I have been assured that the new pulpit will arrive a week

Wednesday, Reverend Fitzsimmons. It's a poor workman who blames his tools.

Sturdy pulpit means a sturdy church.

Well, let's get to my sermon then.

My colleagues in Toronto congratulated me on my posting at Avonlea.

They said that the sins on this calm island must be small,

inconsequential.

Do you know what I told them?

There are no such things as small sins. Ask Lot's wife. Turn to a

pillar of salt simply for looking over her shoulder.

A small misdeed. Not to mention what you do to Falado. And yet the consequences

were great.

Sins are like the piranha fish of the Amazon.

They gather and multiply until the muddy water boils with their perfidy.

And the poor sinner's flesh is ripped.

and torn until nothing but polished white bone remains.

Felix, don't feed the dog from the table.

It's just a bone, Felicity.

Apparently, the new minister's luggage included a box that was three times the

size of a steamer trunk and weighed absolutely nothing.

What could that be?

Pipe.

Elvira Lawson told me.

It seems the Reverend Fitzsimmons likes... What, a height?

Oh, I'm sure he'll work out fine.

Well, I think he confuses piety with loudness.

Reverend Fitzsimmons is young and perhaps a little overenthusiastic.

He bellows like a steer.

What'd I say? Do you think you could behave yourself while your aunt is here,

Felix, dear?

And occasionally when she's not?

That's why I don't want Felix around during our meeting. He blurts things.

What meeting?

Oh, yes, Alec. While you were visiting Roger in Halifax, Felicity arranged a

discussion group.

Called a colicky something or other. The Avonlea Young Women's Colloquium for

Social Betterment. Who cares about you dumb old girls' meetings?

You see what I mean, Mother?

You'll be fine.

Alec, before we get into a domestic implodio, shouldn't we...

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

Janet, Roger was looking through some of Mother's things, and he came

across a box of very special mementos, things that meant a lot to Mother and

whole family. Hattie and Olivia insist that this be bequeathed to you.

Oh, kind of you.

Ooh.

Well, very grand.

And big.

It's wonderful.

It belonged to our great grandmother.

Children.

It's very beautiful, Mother. This is a daguerreotype that she had done in 1846

in New York City.

She was a very imposing woman.

Wasn't she?

It makes her look so regal.

Well, yes, but surely this is far too grand a gift to give to a mere

relative by marriage.

No, no, no. Olivia and Hattie wanted you to have it, and I agree.

I don't know how or

when, but I promise you I will repay your kindness.

To great -grandma -ma, then.

Great -grandma -ma. Indeed.

Oh!

It's a fear that if I rub my wort with a dead man's spit, it'll miraculously

vanish.

I'm trying to count. Go away.

Why are you so cranky, Felicity?

Didn't you like Father's gift?

He bought me a doll.

Me, too.

Yes, but you're a child. You like dolls.

I am a grown woman.

You hear that a tribe in Africa can shrink heads down to the size of a

fist?

Secrets of the occult?

Why would Father buy you grass?

You're just jealous because he doesn't like your presents.

I think I should have gotten Great -Great -Grandmother's comb.

Mother just hasn't got the cheekbones to wear that sort of ornament.

At least you got a present. Digger didn't get anything.

Alec, I'm coming.

Absolutely not, Felicity.

I'm sure none of the other girls in your consortium... Floquium. Yes. The social

betterment. Yeah, well, whatever. The answer is no, you may not put your hair

up. But, Mother, you are wearing your new comb.

And seeing as it is so beautiful, I thought... No, Felicity. And besides,

my very special gift.

Mother, when are you and Father going to realize that I'm grown up? Perhaps when

you quit stamping your feet.

I thought you were going to wear the comb today.

Oh, well, I thought the Avonlea sewing circle was hardly the right place to

unveil such a thing.

Ah, you wanted a more special occasion, is that it?

He wants us to talk about Avonlea's social ills.

Do we have social ill?

Comey Ray, your brother Edward was seen swimming in the all together with

nothing on.

We saw him diving for turtles at Hodgins Pond. There were lots of naked boys

there. It seems to me that spying is more of a social ill than swimming.

Good afternoon.

Close your mouth.

You look like a bunch of ignorant country girls.

Felicity, you look wonderful.

Deportment is the first consideration of every stylish young woman.

Now, ladies, if you'll please turn to your agendas.

We're going to talk about hairstyle?

Our first topic of discussion, the French bob.

Could it happen here?

Certainly not.

And why not? Because this is not France.

What does the French bob have to do with social ills?

I don't know, but I wouldn't be caught dead in one.

What news did Alec bring a pallet back, Janet?

Oh, not much, Clara.

He and his brother Roger spent most of their time digging through old junk.

Air rooms, I think you mean, Janet.

Well, some families past me downs are worth quite a lot of money. Point of

a few treasures were uncovered.

Like my new comb?

Great -grandmama's comb.

Oh, there's a story.

Whilst the Americans were attacking Fort George during the War of 1812, you

know. Grandmama was loading muskets for our side, you see, and just

when defeat seemed imminent, great -grandmama seized a musket and,

employing her considerable marksmanship, turned the tide against the marauding

Yankees.

Long,

beautiful, raven hair kept falling forward into the flintlock.

A dashing young captain came to the rescue and tied it back with a leather

thong. Thus, when Fort George was saved, great -grandmama was presented with the

very comb which is now bestowed upon our Janet.

If history serves me, Fort George did fall to the Americans.

Why aren't you wearing the comb now, Janet?

Oh, perhaps I shall.

If, uh...

marauding Yankees ever attack Avonlea.

Good afternoon, ladies.

I couldn't help overhearing your laughter, and that brought to mind

chapter 7, verse 5.

It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise than for a man to hear the song of

fools.

Behas me.

A little too much inspiration leaks into his vocal cords from time to time.

Perhaps we should have told him to go fly a kite.

And now you can see the importance

of the rule of the 100 strokes.

Toothbrush and hairbrush.

Well, ladies, let's see if we don't eat soon I shall drop dead.

You can bring in the refreshments now.

I really wish you would all try to concentrate.

Now, next on our agenda, posture and profile.

How about the posture and profile of Edward Ray?

That is hardly the level of discourse for the Avonley Young Ladies Colloquium

for social... With Thomas Nisbet there? Do you like Thomas Nisbet? Do you know

what you sound like? Geeks.

A bunch of silly geeks.

Help eat in the kitchen.

Now, posture and profile are vital to a good first impression.

You know, it's not fair.

Can you imagine if we decided to swim uncovered?

I said stop it.

I've been waiting an hour and a half in that stuffy old kitchen where you talked

and talked and talked, boring everyone to death. No one was bored.

Was anyone bored?

You'll be imprisoned in your room forever.

Look again!

The others went home. They had enough social betterments for one day.

Can't you just tell Aunt Janet you're sorry?

Sarah, it's an heirloom.

The gift of that comb means the world to Mother.

I'll bet it was worth a lot of money.

Don't worry, Felicity. It'll show up.

Bet you it won't.

Bet you Felicity will be in trouble for years over this one.

Felix! I just want to be there when Mother and Father find out.

Mother and Father aren't going to find out, Felix.

It could be months before Mother even wears the comb.

You can't keep it a secret.

Don't you remember what Reverend Fitzsimmons said about sins and

Promise me, Felix, you'll not say a word to Mother or Father about the comb.

Promise me or I'll run you through. I promise.

Fit in your hand.

Now rub it on your heart.

Didn't either of you listen to a word the reverend said?

Janet, don't forget to wear your new comb.

I know,

I know, we're late.

You don't happen to know where my new comb is, do you?

I haven't the slightest inkling of where it could be right now.

I swear I left it in here with the baby and all.

Let's get going. I'll find another time then.

You said you'd wear it this week.

I decided it wasn't really a church sort of comb.

Grandmama wore it at my christening.

Angel's voice will deafen us, crying, Ye dead!

The judge is come!

Arise! And meet your instant doom!

I think you'd be proud to wear such a fine king family heirloom. How else

could recognize quality?

The king's in qualities measured by glitter alone.

Will come!

Will ye be cast into the lake of...

He didn't.

that comb to every family wedding and funeral.

How do you think that made us feel, Janet?

so kind as to play hymn number 247.

I was wondering if we have a little word about the pulpit. Yes, Webster and I.

Felicity, are you well?

Felicity knows that her soul is like a black -dented old pot.

Who could possibly be well after that sermon?

I wasn't listening to the sermon. I was listening to your... Parents argue about

the comb.

Well, everyone was arguing.

I heard Mrs. Lawson say that Mother was ungrateful.

But Reverend Fitzsimmons knows.

He was looking directly at me throughout the whole sermon.

You're all upset and bleak, so why don't you just take your medicine?

Because if I could just find the comb, everything would be fine.

Those wards never had a sense of history. That's the problem.

I was a girl.

I admired great -grandma more than anyone else in the family. It has

do with it. If I'd known that Janet was going to feel that way about the coma,

I'd have kept it myself.

Oh, that's enough, Olivia.

Janet promised to fulfill her familial obligation, so... Only after we bullied

her into it.

You'd think she'd be proud to wear such a gift. I'm sure Aunt Janet never

intended to cause such an uproar.

I'm sure she'd be happy to wear it to a special occasion, like... like a ball.

Oh, Sarah, don't make excuses for her.

But wasn't the whole point that you gave it to her as a gift?

I mean, now you're all badgering her about it. It just doesn't seem fair.

Maybe she had good reason for it.

Like what?

Now you're badgering Sarah, really, Olivia.

It'll do no good to stew about it.

Oh, Janet will wear the comb in her own good time, I hope.

While we're all still alive and breathing, I hope.

Sarah, what are you doing?

I'm trying to answer a question.

Oh, what question?

About the world.

About when it began and when it'll end.

End?

Oh, wherever did you get such an outlandish notion?

Eddie, can't she even ask a simple question?

I mean, obviously, if the world began at some point in time, then it's logically

going to end.

You've been talking with Jasper too long, Olivia.

Well?

Felix has been scaring Felicity half to death because the Reverend mentioned it

in his sermon.

I'm just trying to prove that it won't happen.

Never your mind, child.

If the world does end, it certainly won't be in my lifetime.

Or yours.

I dropped them jacks.

They spilled everywhere.

Go get me some eggs.

Pardon? Get me some egg.

But I collected this morning. Don't argue with me, young lady. I'm feeling

dangerous.

Thank you, Mr. King.

Well, I'm sorry to startle you like that. I was engrossed in next week's

Jacob and the Angel.

I'm afraid your kite is probably on the way to Africa by now.

I have quite a few of them, actually.

Do you normally fly them in the dead of winter?

Neither rain nor snow nor sleet nor hail can stop the truly devoted, Mr. King.

I find the making and flying of kites very fulfilling.

Sort of a...

Fishing line to heaven, is it?

Yes, exactly, Mr. King.

Well, I'm sorry I surprised you like that.

Mr. King, I'm afraid you distracted the congregation somewhat on Sunday.

No, no.

When a congregation does not listen, it is the capability of the preacher which

falls in doubt.

We were taught the voice is a preacher's most valuable tool.

It's another reason I started flying kites. I would send them up as far as I

could and preach to them.

You know, learn to control my voice, make it strong.

Tell me, sir, did you find when you preached very loudly that the kites flew

higher? No.

Don't believe in all this end -of -the -world nonsense.

According to the ancient seers, the end of the world would be foretold by seven

unmistakable signs.

Who cares what that trashy magazine says?

Fine, then. I guess you don't want to hear the signs.

Tell us some, Felix.

The very earth shall tremble with great force, killing the multitudes and

reducing to embers. A great city by the sea.

San Francisco.

The earthquake.

Those predictions are so vague.

Do you want to hear the signs about the approaching ice age?

No, Felix, put your stupid magazine away.

Sarah, what did you find out about Doomsday?

Well, apparently it will go something like the weighing of sugar at the

General Store, substituting the sugar for the good deeds and the sins for the

lead weights.

Well, then, in that case, I should do quite well.

Currently, the loss of the comb is the only black mark on the ledger of my

easily outweighed by all my good deeds.

Don't forget that you're ruining her parents' marriage.

Not to mention the fact that Aunt Olivia and Aunt Hedy will react when they find

out that great -great -grandma's comb is gone.

Oh, I must find that comb.

Felix, where exactly were we when I started to squeeze your head?

No, it's great.

None of these will do.

Hardly. I think you're just going to have to tell them the truth. It gave me

quite a start, whatever it was. I could imagine.

An angel? Well, the trumpet passed right over the psalmist.

Must be that Reverend Fitzsimmons.

Not your run -of -the -mill preacher.

Did you hear that?

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself.

Elvira, chamomile soap and a packet of washing tablets?

Why don't you tell that one to the paper?

What happened?

At the car stairs funeral, in the middle of the eulogy, Henry sat straight up in

his casket, looked all around at the candles and said, whose birthday is it

anyway?

Don't say.

Did you hear that?

Felicity, I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation.

And just the other day, old man Steele's cow gave birth to a two -headed calf.

I heard about that.

It's the ninth.

Felix. Where's the magazine?

See, it's true.

Better find that comb fast, Felicity, or you'll be roasting in the eternal

flames.

Felicity, are you all right?

You look like it's the end of the world.

Felicity, don't go out there.

You can't go out there.

Why not?

It's them.

Who?

The four horsemen of the apocalypse.

What we needed to bring her to her senses.

Or find that comb.

That's no fun at all.

Felix.

Oh, all right.

How? Who found you when you were lost in the woods?

And who figured out why the kingdom's well went dry?

Peg Bowen.

What has the finding of this comb got to do with the end of the world?

Felicity stole Gregory Grandmother King's comb, then lost it, and she never

anyone about it. And now she's worried that the end of the world will come and

she'll roast down the devil's pitchfork. Shut up, Felix.

I don't suppose the girlie has considered just telling her mother the

facing the consequences of her foolishness?

That's what I suggested.

I wanted to, but there was never the right moment.

Couldn't you just help us find the comb?

You found Jane Spry's lost cat last month. The comb doesn't meow outside my

in the middle of the night.

And the whole point of the end of the world is that it takes you by surprise.

But there have been so many signs.

Earthquake, fires, a typhoon in India.

Those are signs, all right.

The truth is, every so often, the measure of the world is taken.

So far...

There's always been more virtue than evil, more good people than bad.

But if that balance ever changes, stay

evil.

The thing to do is admit your weaknesses and failings before the world

ends. I'm going to be wanting your solemn vow.

that whatever you discover here in this room today goes no further.

I don't have to rub spit on my heart, do I?

Disgusting, that.

No, a simple promise will do, lad.

Do I have your word?

Tomorrow night, the voracious wolf will run across the sky.

And if the balance of evil in the world is more than the balance of good, the

moon will be swallowed by the ravening wolf.

Sure, but it doesn't say anything in my magazine.

Whoa!

Lunar eclipse.

What are we going to do?

Do you think the world really will end tomorrow night?

We should go to the church.

You can't say a thing for the church.

I mean to pray.

We should all go on top of the barn.

The lighthouse.

Instruct our hurricanes and lightning.

We'll get a good view from there.

And got through the wave before we marked it. Drat.

I just wish I could find that comb.

I wish we could warn the others. No.

We made a solemn vow.

We're all agreed then.

We'll meet at the lighthouse tomorrow night.

Did you lose something?

Alec, are you trying to give me apoplexy?

I better start wearing a bell. I seem to be the most frightening man in the

county.

Do you remember that dreadful pipe your father gave me as a wedding present?

Of course I do. You fouled the air with it for six months.

Exactly. And you know why? Because I wanted to keep peace in the family. I

didn't want to insult your family, and so I went out of my way to please your

father, which was not easy.

Yes, Alec. The comb was given to you as a sincere gesture, and Hedy and Olivia

will be hurt if you don't wear it. I am aware of my obligation to your family,

Alec, and I will fulfill it. When?

Well, I don't know.

find the right moment. Oh, Alec, don't try to blackmail me.

They don't know it's their last night on earth.

Well, what else would you call it? Well, there is... Stop!

It is only a thing.

Surely what is best in our family has nothing to do with things.

Look, I certainly love you both. And the baby and Cecily and... and even Felix.

despite all the material things that I've been denied.

Well, all right, I'll wear it. The new pulpit arrives tomorrow. I'll wear it to

the ceremony.

Thank you.

I'll see to it our loving children get back to bed.

Good night, Mother.

Sorry the Yankees didn't burn Fort George to the ground.

Why a trip to Carmody? What's there that I can't pick up for you and have on a

leash? Oh, well, I don't want to burden you with details. It's women's business.

Oh, I see.

You'll be back in time for the new pulpit?

The time to spare.

I think I might finish cleaning the carpets and some of those other

chores that you've been struggling with this week. What has come over you? This

whole house has been turned upside down.

She's combing it from top to bottom.

She found a watch, Bob, I lost, oh, eight years ago.

Oh? Come across anything else of interest?

No.

Well, then obviously it's nowhere in this house.

What is it?

Well, anything Felicity hasn't found, of course.

She's cleaning the place like the devil's after her.

Well, can you do it?

Certainly. Oh, it has to look so much like the original that no one can tell

difference. Oh.

This afternoon.

Thank you.

Beautiful. Wonderful.

That's dirty maritime oak.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

It's going to be late.

Yes, Alec, I'm coming.

Maybe I should take the Bible with you tonight.

The Bible? Why?

Oh, just in case.

In case of what?

The end of the world.

Sometimes I worry about those children.

I'm a king.

I told you I'd wear it and wear it. I will.

All right.

What do you think you're doing?

Is it the end of the world?

No use in being hungry.

What's that in your hand, Rachel Cotton?

Yes, it is.

Whatever for?

Well, I seem to have a bit of earache. That's what.

Not that it's any of your business, Petty King.

If he yells at us again tonight, we're going to wish we had some of that

Olivia, she'd better be wearing that comb.

Alec. Just give her some time.

Slight against our family, that's what it is.

Alec, should I go check on Janet? She's taking ages.

Look, now she's afraid to face us, is she?

Now, Eddie.

How does it look?

Oh, Janet, it's awful.

May I remind you, that is great -grandmama's comb of courage.

I had no idea that it... Oh, I do recall it looking somewhat more elegant on

her. No, it doesn't fit as I remember on you, Janet.

Well, what should I do with it then?

Perhaps you should take it off, Janet.

There's one good thing.

Someday you'll be able to pass it on to Felicity.

You can tell it isn't a normal evening, can't you?

Yes.

It's so very bright and mysterious.

It's a good thing Mr. Potts led the lighthouse.

I wish Gus were home.

Shall we go up to the top?

No.

Let's wait until it's really happy.

Good.

This thing is getting heavy.

What did you bring, Sarah?

Some photographs of my parents before they get married.

That's not very practical.

Oh, it certainly is.

What did you bring, Felicity?

My report cards.

I thought they might stand me in good stead as a sort of record of my

achievements. What about you, Cecily?

I brought Dagar. I wouldn't go anywhere without him.

Just like Felix wouldn't go anywhere without food. You'll be glad when it

happens that someone thought to pack a lunch.

Full form.

It's just a cloud.

I was out in the fields the other day.

The beautiful white fields of Avonlea.

Practicing my sermon.

and was surprised by a man out walking.

So surprised, in fact, that I fell backwards and struck my head.

And it occurred to me then that if I had not been hollering at the heavens like

a fool, I wouldn't have been so surprised.

And that led me to think that perhaps sometimes silence is a better tool for a

preacher than bluster, a sin of pride.

to place the loudness of my voice above the importance of the message in the

words. So, rather than my voice alone, let us raise our

voices together in song and bless this pulpit.

This fellow may work out after all.

Peg Bowen said we should try to clear our guilty conscience.

That's right.

My conscience is clear.

What's a conscience?

It's a record of our weaknesses and failings. I have something, Felicity.

I used the Loving Cup that you won for naming the books of the Bible as a

tadpole trap.

Well, boys will be boys.

I won. I also used a pair of your bloomers for a flag on the top of our

treehouse. Who saw them?

Well, let's see.

Everyone.

I forgive you, Felix.

I read your diary.

I think we've had enough confessions.

I read it out loud.

To who?

All my friends.

We were camping out.

Everyone laughed about the gushy parts of Gus Pike.

Gus Pike?

Gus Pike didn't laugh. His ears burned a fierce red.

You read it to Gus Pike?

Felicity, don't lose your temper. The end is nigh.

Hang, you say.

Felicity, it will look very bad for you if you hurt her. Feel it.

I don't care. He deserves it.

The wolf. The wolf is here.

Felicity, don't you want to unburden yourself before the end?

No, I'd rather not.

I do.

Sarah wants in arithmetic.

That's the spirit.

I have something to confess.

I feigned illness on occasion to avoid Sunday services.

Doesn't anyone want to hear what I've done?

I'm black -hearted and vain.

I stole Mother's comb and then lost it and didn't have the courage to tell

anyone about it.

Oh, I wish I'd told Mother.

If the world were ending now, I swear I would tell her.

Digger took the comb.

What?

That's what I wanted to tell you.

Why didn't you take it away from him?

He liked it. Besides, I thought you'd brain him like you did Felix.

But, Cecily, Digger is a dog.

I was just going to let him play with it a while, but I think he buried it. Oh,

this is a terrible thing that you've done, Cecily.

I'd hate to see what will happen during your judgment.

Look!

We've turned the balance of evil.

You still have me to deal with, however.

Oh, my stomach.

Well, you are up early.

Mother, I have something to tell you.

I borrowed your comb and then lost it.

I'm so sorry. I know how much it meant to you and Father.

Oh, Felicity, you should have known better than that.

After I expressly told you not to.

I have something much worse to confess, Felicity. I have no right to be angry

with you.

I beg your pardon?

I thought I'd lost it.

So I went to Carmody and spent all our mad money on a duplicate.

Turns out all I had to do was simply put the thing on and Hedy would have

understood immediately why I hated it so much.

I shall surely go to hell.

I've heard the confessions are good for the soul.

Perhaps if we told Father... Oh, I think it's good enough that we told each

other, Felicity.

Now, if the real comb doesn't show up, we're safe.

What's this?

The scavenger's thrown all our food overnight?

Felix, can you get down here this minute? I have some questions for you.

Get out of there.

Go on. Go on.

What's this?

Well, I'll... Janet!