Original subtitles

I know them all. Go ahead, try me. You should, Felix. We've been over them a

million times.

Father will kill me if I fail. I know all the answers.

Aren't you special, Cecily?

Honestly, all you have to do is memorize the book.

Easy for you to say, Felicity. You're her favorite.

She doesn't pick on you.

I can say them all in my sleep.

Kings and queens, it's not so hard.

Miss King is what's hard.

Sure hope she doesn't call on me.

No. Edward Ray, sit down.

Well advised to read the lesson before coming to class.

I expect better, children. Indeed, I do.

Need I remind you that the finals for the competition are in two weeks' time,

and the honour of Avonlea rests on your shoulders.

Now, certainly, who lost England to the Danes? Too long. Sit.

Sally Potts, the answer, please.

The English king who lost the country was, um... Sit.

Alfie Bugle.

Sit.

Felix King.

Perhaps you'll name for us the king of England who lost his country to the

Danes.

It was a man.

girl's name?

Ethel.

Felix King, really your mind is very like your desk.

Yeah, a square made of wood.

Boys, that's enough Edward Ray.

There's certainly nothing to laugh about, Edward Ray, as you'll note from

results of these history examinations.

And neither do the rest of you, for that matter.

Felix King.

Okay.

Barbara, what do you think of this one?

Oh, my.

That's quite daring, don't you think, Janet?

Mm -hmm.

You don't have to tell me. She is absolutely outrageous.

I'd like to tell her what for.

I always think she knows more than the rest of us.

Whatever is the matter, Hetty King?

She's driving my poor Alfie to dyspepsia. My Sally's taken to her bed

water bottle.

Something's got to be done.

You won't budge, Hetty.

I know of only one person who could do that.

Alex.

Your hair looks lovely, Mother. Do you think so, dear?

Lovely.

How was school today, children?

Well? I'm not going back.

Oh, dear.

Not my fault.

It makes me nervous.

Felix?

What has gotten into them?

Felix got a D -minus on his history exam. And Cecily didn't do much better.

Huh.

I, however, received an A.

I don't know what they're all complaining about.

Alec.

Alec, are you awake?

Janet, it's late. I'm tired.

Whatever it is, I'm sorry.

Everybody's upset about Hattie.

She's pushing the children too far. She actually frightens them.

That is ridiculous.

I got an earful in the general store today.

Half the parents in town are... upset and angry. They can't all be wrong.

The children aren't the problem.

It's your sister.

Oh, isn't it always?

We should do something.

Right now, Janet, I am going to get some sleep.

Now, the first order of business is to elect a new member to the school board.

Are there any nominations?

Or, indeed, volunteers for this challenging position.

I don't say it's a challenge.

Well, there must be someone.

Mrs. Potts. Yes, you make an excellent candidate.

No, no.

Well, I fully appreciate how challenging this position is.

We've all thought about it. It was a disastrous... Stop with it. I nominate

King. I second the nomination.

Yes, Alec King.

Apparently it's unanimous, Alec. Congratulations.

We all know that you'll hold up your end, Alec King.

I think you have no option but to accept.

That's what.

I don't know what to say.

Thank you. I'll do my best.

There is one matter I would like to discuss.

Alec, there are rules to abide by, you know, an agenda.

Forget the rules. I want to hear what Alec has to say.

Thank you.

Hedy, I believe that you are an exceptional teacher, and with many

years' experience, and you've done an exceptional job, but sometimes I think

that you expect too much from the students.

Oh,

it's just that which students do you have in mind?

As if I couldn't guess.

That's not the point. You think children are all the same, that they all learn

the same, and it's not so.

They're not all peas in a pod. You could help them more. You could try new

approaches. Modern methods, that's what I say.

My teaching methods are based firmly on the classical principles of education.

I clearly have not the slightest idea of that which you speak.

I knew it was a mistake to try to talk to you. If the three R's are good enough

for the rest of the country, dare say they'll have to suffice for Avonlea.

The three R's?

There's more to education than recitation, repetition, and repression.

Yes, exactly.

You tell her. You tell her she had three months to improve her performance like

she told my Jane. We want an open discussion.

More say in our children's education.

We have rights. They're our children.

Order!

Well, Hetty King, I think everyone's made the position crystal clear.

Yes, quite clear. Thank you, Rachel.

Well, if...

I have lost the support of the school board, as it appears. Then I can no

teach in Lavenly.

I hereby tender my resignation.

An awful situation. I never dreamed she'd quit. Your own sister, how could

Oh, you were the one who said we had to do something.

Well, I never meant for you to take her job away. I only meant for you to make

her see reason. It was her decision entirely, a professional disagreement.

Who's going to teach school?

Anyone would be better than Aunt Hattie. Felix.

Look, don't worry, Janet. I've organized a search. I'm placing an advertisement

in the Charlottetown newspaper.

Who?

Well, I did teach at Kingston for 15 years.

Mrs. Lynde, could you sit up straight?

Mr. Gilly, stop playing with that pencil.

Mr. King, pay attention.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Kingston.

Now, as I was saying, I did teach at Kingston for 15 years, and you would

checked my credentials. Could you please tell us something of your teaching

experience?

Yes.

Well, experience.

Yes.

I... Yes.

Yes. Where did you study at?

Excuse me.

You meant to ask, where did I study?

That's what I did ask.

No, you said, where did you study at?

One cannot end a sentence with a preposition.

But sent to my house out last Was I

sleeping by a brother's hand Of

like a crowd of queen at once dispatched

Horrible!

Horrible!

Masked!

That's the third tomato this week, Dimple.

You're fired.

seen or heard. It can stay that way.

Alistair, I'm sorry. They don't like Shakespeare, and they don't like you.

If you're ever doing a nice Gilbert and Sullivan, let me know.

And Alistair, if I were you, I'd find another line of work.

The pivotal role of the ghost of Hamlet's father.

Mr. Alastair Dippel could be abstained by dust.

What other choice do we have?

Number eight.

Oh, the one who took three minutes to tell us his name?

I hate to say it, but we'll have to ask Miss King to return.

If you hadn't started this ruckus, we wouldn't be in this mess now.

Listen, Alec, I've got a business to run. I can't spend all day in my

You created this problem, and you solved it.

We'll have to advertise in Halifax. I can't sit through another day of teacher

interviews.

I think we're going to have to ask Eddie King to reconsider.

We'll have to go down on our knees and beg her before she'll agree to come

Be sure to rub it in well now, Sarah.

Yes, Aunt Heidi. Then leave them be for just three minutes, you know.

I know.

Aunt Olivia?

Oh, my. Hello, Sarah.

Well, my, my, Olivia. What brings you all the way over here?

Sent by Alec, I suppose, are you?

Alec? Of course not.

I just brought over some pickles and chutney I'd put up.

Will you hold that, Sarah?

Well,

that... Very kind of you, I'm sure.

Thank you.

Hetty. We really are very busy, Olivia.

Sarah, back to work.

Oh, it's astonishing the way a house will fall apart if you don't pay it the

strictest attention.

Hetty, I know you're upset.

Upset? Me? Whatever about?

Hetty. If you want to teach, you just go over and tell the school board right

now. It's no consequence to me, Olivia.

If the consensus is to let me go, then I shall put my freedom to good advantage,

you may be sure.

There's quite many things I wish to do with my life.

Plans, you know.

All right, Hetty.

Have it your way.

Goodbye, Sarah.

Goodbye, Aunt Olivia.

30 candidates and not a single possibility. I can't believe it. What a

If you don't mind my asking, why are you so fretful in these enchanting

surroundings?

Teachers, teachers.

Can't trust him.

It's a sad thing, friend, when trust is lacking in modern life.

But it's always darkest before the dawn. And this may yet turn out to be your

lucky day.

Alistair Dimple at your service.

Professor of the Instructional Arts, Master of Elucidation.

And furthermore... Hold that thought, Professor.

Come with me.

Professor Dumper, why did you apply for this position?

The moment I first set eyes on your lovely little gem of avid leaves, I knew

that the day would be coming, didn't she?

I can unravel the tangle you momentarily find yourself in and rebuild the faith

that the Pentagon have so truly ripped from Avonlea.

Hire him!

Well, shouldn't we ask for... My credentials, Mr. King.

I shall write.

Canterbury College of the Instructional Arts in England to forward my

certificate and references today.

Good morning.

I am Professor Dimple.

And who might you be, boy?

Felix.

Felix King, sir.

Felix.

I will need your help this morning.

Tell me, what did you study with Miss King at this time of day?

History, sir.

Then we shall do that now.

And could you share with us exactly what you were studying?

Oh, no.

Don't you know what you were studying, Felix?

It was the kings and queens of Britain, sir.

The Ethels.

But I can't tell you them.

I can't remember them, no matter how hard I try.

It was all about a thousand years ago.

And they were all the same.

I can, Professor Dimple.

Felicity King.

And I'm fully prepared to represent Avonlea at the History Bee.

The first commonly accepted King of England was Alfred... I'm sure you know

all, Felicity.

But a list of dead people is of no benefit and little importance to anyone

is not in the direct line of succession.

To understand history, you must understand the people who lived it.

Think. of each king or queen as if they were here in this room talking to us.

Discover how each of them is unique, just like anyone else you meet.

I think he's strange.

Sounds a whole lot better than Aunt Hedy to me.

Gotta give him a proper chance, Felicity.

I think Professor Dimple will prove most interesting.

Why hasn't the bell rung yet?

Maybe he likes to recess.

Twenty minutes is quite long enough.

Leave it to Felicity to wreck a good time.

He's alive.

The last words of Julius Caesar.

First Roman emperor to visit the British Isles.

He was stabbed by his friends while walking to work one day.

And who, God's pike, did he find in Britain?

People? Absolutely correct.

But not just any people.

Druids painted blue.

Blue? They were blue?

Blue and bloody and worshipping trees and practising human sacrifice.

Gus Pike, you shall be our conquering Roman Emperor Julius.

Will you select your Praetorian guard?

You, you, you, you, you, you, you. And who would like to be the oak

druids gathered at Stonehenge to sacrifice their next victim?

Master Felix?

King.

And your victim, Felix.

Don't even think about it, Felix.

He said the British royalty were of little importance, and that he stabbed

himself. What? He did what?

Well, he was only acting, but it looked very real.

He scared the younger children to tears, and that was before the human

sacrifice. Human sacrifice?

Oh, good Lord, Felicity.

It's hard to believe that even your father permits such a man to teach

Well, no one seems to notice his bizarre behavior, except for myself.

Someone really ought to keep an eye on Professor Dimple, Aunt Hattie.

Who knows what he'll do next?

Thank you, Felicity.

Someone shall.

All right, Britons, out of your tents and ready yourselves.

Vikings, row and row and row.

How do you think Ethelwulf felt when the Vikings sacked Canterbury Cathedral?

A thousand years ago, the Vikings were the best shipbuilders and sailors in the

world. All Europe trembled before their fierce and rapacious attacks.

Now, Vikings, prepare.

to attack.

Felix, you're Eric Erickson.

Guff, leave the lucky.

Edward will be Eric the Red.

Rupert, kill it.

Ethelred, be unready.

King of England.

Perhaps you'll want to nap under that tree.

Shouldn't I prepare my troops for battle, sir? Of course not. Why do you

you are called the Unready?

Felicity, you'll be Erika, the Viking Queen.

I refuse to put that disgusting thing on my head.

All right.

Who will be the Viking Queen, then?

I will.

Erica, we are the fiercest warriors that ever lived.

Now, Vikings!

Attack! Show no mercy! Take the wedge first!

What happened to you?

Oh, history.

It's wonderful.

History? Did this to you and my pot?

I'm a little confused, Felix King, and more than a little angry.

Are you all right?

Oh, it's just a little scratch on it.

Curls. You're both filthy.

Professor Dimple recreated the Viking attack on the Britons in the 9th

I was Eric Erickson. After conquering Britain, I just... Discovered America.

I was captured.

Professor Dimble is a rude, unmannered brute with no consideration for the

feelings in life.

And the Vikings were just plain dirty.

Rachel! Rachel lived.

I have never seen anything like it. Oh, Rachel, they were having a pitched

battle. There, behind the schoolhouse.

Children beating each other senseless.

Really? I'm sure it was just a game, Hetty King.

Defies every principal ever learned in teacher's college.

You don't know everything there is to know under the sun, Hetty King. And you

made an issue out of this when you resigned. Why couldn't you listen to

Well, I'm amazed.

I'd have thought you, of all people, Rachel Lynde, would have had the

best welfare at heart.

But I see there's not a soul in this town with an ounce of common sense.

So, um, good day to you.

Olivia.

Still got a bee in her bonnet about the new schoolteacher.

Oh, have you seen Professor Dimple?

In the general store.

Thank you.

Paper.

Bandages. Are you redecorating the schoolhouse, Professor Dimple? No, no,

Professor Dimple?

Olivia Dale with the Avonlea Chronicle.

Member of the press.

Charmed man.

What may I do for you?

Oh, well, I was hoping I could secure an interview with you for the paper.

An interview? Well, I'm hardly a celebrity, Mrs. Dale.

On the contrary, Professor. The whole town's abuzz about you. They want every

little detail, that's what.

We'll try to arrange a convenient time, Mrs. Dale.

Well, actually, I was thinking tomorrow right after school.

Oh, school.

It's so challenging, so rewarding.

Lessons to prepare, you know.

Allow me, Professor.

I adhere to a very nouveau programme.

I've asked Tisha the most modern methods.

My class was a cream of a generation.

A woman such as yourself, Mrs. Lynde, can appreciate the subtle humanist

of such a legacy.

Yes, absolutely.

Why, I'm a human myself, Professor.

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless

Ilium?

Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world, over whom the Trojan War

was fought and raged on for ten years.

And look, the Greeks have sent us this gift of peace.

Felicity, that's your cue.

I refuse to be a raving lunatic, even in pretense.

You're not a lunatic, Felicity. You're the prophetess, Cassandra.

Look, not a gift horse in the mouth.

I will not shriek. Oh, horrible, horrible, most horrible.

Mr. Dimple.

Mr. King.

Well, I hear some very fine things about you, sir, for my children. Oh, thank

you. What a wonderful family you have, Mr. King. Very bright, curious.

Yes, well, they've really changed since your arrival.

I understand your methods are quite different to those of my sister.

Ah, yes.

Miss King, of course.

And how is Miss King? I had hoped we might chat.

Well, I wouldn't know. She's not really speaking to me.

Because of me, sir.

I suppose, but it's really the whole situation. She's taught for almost 30

years. My, my, that's very impressive.

But overwhelming. She deserves a sabbatical.

A what? Time off.

Imagine giving up yourself day in, day out for 30 years.

All those minds enlightened.

over all those years.

I'd never really thought of it like that. She deserves time to reflect, to

collect her energies, to apply her knowledge in other ways.

But we'll have to coax it out of her, won't we?

Coax isn't exactly the right word when it comes to Hedy.

Oh, your credentials.

I thought he was with you.

Do you see anything?

Hello?

Professor Dimple?

What's all this?

It's a tomb.

In Egypt?

Welcome to the tomb of the great pharaoh.

Touch me and you'll live to regret it, Felix.

Understand.

And thrusting the venomous snake to her breast, Cleopatra cried for them

to drink deep of the royal blood of Egypt and died mourning her lost

love, the Roman Mark Antony.

It's so romantic. And so passed the time of the great pharaohs, their lives

surrounded in a mystery of their monuments.

So much for antiquity.

Onward to history.

Mr. Bugle. Our Henry VIII.

And our beautiful queens of England.

Catherine of Aragon.

Anne Boleyn.

Jane Seymour.

Anne of Cleves.

Catherine.

Divorce!

Have a chat.

Well, you're here now, so take it you've got something on your mind.

The classroom is a daunting place, Miss King.

All those bright expectant faces turned up waiting for illumination.

I find it a great adventure into the imagination.

Do you?

Education requires fact, Mr. Dimple, not fiction.

Ah.

The elucidation of those facts, Miss King.

Teaching is a profession that requires the educator to be original, to present

facts and figures in a palatable, even interesting manner.

It takes its toll.

Oh, yes, it most certainly does that.

Miss King, let me be perfectly honest.

I know how you feel.

Let me assure you that this position is of paramount importance.

It is the very sustenance of my life.

I will do my very best not to let the children down.

I find, however, that the good parents never realize the effort.

No, they don't.

The good parents, as you call them, continually take me out, take us.

For granted, do they not? There should be a period of rejuvenation for

educators.

Say, every few years, time to gather new energies, make other

contributions.

How do you mean, other contributions?

I can see a great work in you, Miss King.

Oh, a great work, you say?

The history of the island.

Perhaps a history of the families of the island, of the important

families of the island.

Well, it's true.

The king family does have a notable tradition in these parts.

Surely you will want future generations, future king generations, to view

with pride their place in the founding and building of this province.

It's a thought, Professor.

Good thought.

Thank you.

By the by, I do wish you every success in your new position at the Avonlea

School. One I enjoyed for many years. Thank you, Miss King.

Good day.

Sarah.

Bye, Mr. Dimple.

Michael, Michael, how long is this ceiling going to take?

Pope Julius commissioned Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel.

At the same time, Francis I was on the throne in France and collecting art and

artists.

He offered a home to Leonardo da Vinci, who packed up all his little sketches

and paintings.

like the Mona Lisa, and moved to a lovely little chateau in the Loire

A little more blue in that sky, Felix.

And who was on the throne in England?

Sarah Stanley.

Henry VIII, collected wives.

Quite right, Sarah.

Quite right.

Olivia, what is it?

What's the matter?

Read this.

Look. Second last page.

Read this.

Upstaged by dust.

What are we going to do?

I'd better have a talk with Mr. Dimble.

Well, let's keep this between ourselves, Olivia.

Whatever you do, don't tell Hattie.

Who was the first king of England?

Alfred the Great. He ate cakes in the woods.

Henry V. Who won the Battle of Agincourt?

Henry V. He gave up his best friend, Falstaff, to become king.

Sally Pops.

What houses fought the War of the Roses?

Lancaster's in red, York in white.

I'll keep your gold.

Who inherited the throne from Elizabeth?

James VI of Scotland became James I of England. He had the Bible translated to

English. Felix King.

Who lost England to the Danes? Ethelred the Unready. He took a nap.

You are perfection itself.

I cannot possibly decide who among you should represent the school.

You're all a font of wisdom.

So, we shall draw names for the honor.

Professor, Professor Dimple, I must have a word with you. Excuse me, excuse me.

It's about the Canterbury College of the Instructional Arts.

I must prepare my opening remarks. Excuse me.

Alec King, the children look positively intelligent.

We have to talk about the professor.

I've just received word that he is no ordinary teacher.

There's not an ordinary bone in the man's body. No, no, you don't

I understand that Professor Dimple is crammed more into Rupert's head than I

would have thought possible.

True. And we are going to trounce Markdale.

Count on it.

Well, Alec, a word with you.

Eddie, I'm sorry. I should never have let things go so far. You were right.

Oh, no, I was wrong.

Foolish of me to allow a school to occupy my every thought when there's so

else to life, don't you think?

No, I should have listened to you about Professor Dimple. Oh, Professor Dimple.

An excellent man.

Discerning, subtle, perceptive. What? No, no, no. That's ridiculous.

The man is nothing but a... How like you are a king.

Might have expected such a response from you.

Untrained as you are in education.

Incapable, really, of making a proper evaluation. Look how you judge me. Not

that I hold a grudge, but if you say one word against Professor Dimple, I shall

make every day of your life a misery. You can count on it.

Alec, Alec, is anything wrong?

Well, yeah, it's Mr.

Dimitol. Well, what, is he all right?

Well... Father, where is he? We're supposed to start soon.

Well, uh, he must be backstage. You better go.

We'll talk about it later.

Good parents, friends, and relations.

There is nothing more important than history.

It marks the ebb and flow of time and our places in that infinite spectrum.

Tonight, in the Avonlea Town Hall, a point of history will be made.

The opposing teams match wit and wisdom for the honor of their mates.

and schools.

And so, to the contest and to the victors, their moment in

time.

For each correct answer, ten points.

Teams have the opportunity to answer incorrect responses and earn an

additional... Five points.

First question to Avonlea School.

Who was the first Roman emperor to visit the British Isles?

Oh, no. I knew he'd never remember.

Your answer, please.

Oh, I remember.

He traveled to Rome with a man painted all blue.

Julius Caesar.

Correct.

Hockdale. In what year and at what place did the War of the Roses end?

1528.

At a field.

Incorrect. Avonlea.

1485. Lost her field because Richard lost his horse.

Correct.

Oh, look at you. Sunny the changed boy.

Avonlea.

What English monarch went on the Crusades?

Richard Curtaleon.

He made Robin Hood a knight.

Correct.

Markdale. Who opposed Henry II and was killed on the steps of Canterbury

Cathedral?

Thomas Becket.

Correct.

Haven't we?

Excuse me, dear. I'll be back before long. The revolt of 1215.

The Magna Carta.

They didn't like paying all them taxes.

Correct!

Mr.

King. Lovely night for a bit of air.

After the tension of a performance, I like to get out for a bit. It's calming.

With your suitcase, Professor?

Research. Very valuable.

I received your credentials.

You have bamboozled the school board, the town, the province, the children and

their parents and myself.

From one point of view, that's true. And yet, have I done any harm?

I've thought about that, and I have to conclude that no harm has been done.

If anything, you've done the opposite.

Oh, the children might have a few more scratches on the outside, but on the

inside, they have a new curiosity to learn.

I don't know how, but you managed to inspire.

Why, my sister has become your staunchest offender.

Inspiration and imagination.

First principles of dramatics.

So why did you do it?

Lack of funds between engagements.

Well, I'm afraid we can no longer employ you here.

What are you going to do?

I'll think of something.

What about you?

I have discovered, Mr. King, that all the world's a stage, and all the

men and women merely players.

They have their exits and entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts.

Good luck, Mr. Dimble.

And for what it's worth, I think the theatrical reviewer of this newspaper

much maligned you.

Thank you, Mr. King.

Thank you indeed.

Onward, Christian soldiers,

marching hands to war.

Well, unfortunately, Professor Dimple has been suddenly recalled to Canterbury

to fill the shoes of the recently deceased principal.

He sends his deepest apologies.

Oh, that's awful. What'll we do now?

Fortunately, we have an outstanding teacher right here. And our own Hetty

Appreciate you. You've found confidence in me, I like that.

Professor Dimple has asked me to return with him to the Canterbury

College of the Instructional Arts.

Just writing a book together, you see, about the...

What a unique situation facing students and teachers there.

Understand what a challenge that would be for two such educated as I looked at

myself.

Oh, I do understand perfectly, Hattie.

But I beg you, consider the town, our children.

Canterbury can survive without you, but Avonlea can't.

The children, yes.

I mustn't be selfish.

I can't turn my back on Avonlea, can I?

Well, then, Professor Dimple will simply have to do it without me.

We are ever in your debt.

Come on. Thank you. Come on.

Olivia, come on now.

Ah, what smells so delicious in here.

Felix? What's the matter?

I think I feel sick.

Could be the plague.

He doesn't want to go to school.

Come on, Felix.

Personally, I can't wait to resume my proper education.

Please may I be excused, Mother?

Yes, you may.

You may all be excused.

The return of Petty the Terrible.

Felix, don't talk that way about your aunt.

Hurry up, you'll all be late.

Looked like they're going to an execution.

That's the way I always felt.

Uh, Clarice, attention, please.

Today we begin our study of the exploration of the new world.

Now then, um, Felix King, what can you tell us about the voyage of Columbus?

Columbus?

Come, come now, Felix. We're waiting.

Um... Um, he... He travelled?

He... He travelled on a ship?

Oh, really, Felix King?

Will you never learn?

I suppose not.

I suppose the only way you will learn is to play the part of

Christopher Columbus.

When we reenact the voyage.

Is that it?

Yes, ma 'am.

Well, then, Columbus, as I hope some of you already know, was the first

explorer to settle in the New World after the... Vikings!

Gus Pike. You be King Ferdinand V, and Felicity King is Queen Isabella of

Paris.