Original subtitles

Maybe the world is blind or just a little unkind.

Don't know.

Seems you can't be sure of anything anymore.

Although.

in the swamp.

Funky, Funky, turn off that alarm.

Funky, that alarm would wake King Duck.

Funky, it's time.

It's time for school.

That's because your room looks like the city dump.

Henry, I'm expressing who I am.

Who are you? A garbage pail kid?

Lighten up, Henry. This is my personal space.

When you start paying rent, it'll be your personal space. Now get up. You're

going to be late for school.

Henry, I really don't want to go to school today.

Oh. Does that mean that you didn't do your history essay?

Oh, I finished that.

Good. I have a few minutes.

I'd like to read it. It's on the soap.

Napoleon was a nerd.

That's it?

It says it all, don't you think?

You expect me to take this seriously?

This is totally unacceptable.

Well, it's not due until tomorrow.

I was just thinking about our poor teacher.

She has enough to read anyway.

Enough is enough, young lady.

After school, you do this essay right.

And I want you to clean your room. The closet, the sheets, the window. I want

be able to eat off this floor.

Henry, that's why we have tables.

Look at all these bills.

How am I ever going to pay them?

Okay, okay, we'll get started.

$48 .73 for the phone company.

$11 for the newspaper.

$54. 28 for electricity?

You're right.

Come on in.

Hi. Hi, Mr. Warnemot. Good morning.

Good morning. Is Punky ready for school?

Punky, your friends are here.

So, Mr. Warnemot, I suppose you've heard about the party I'm hosting this

weekend.

Punky told me about it.

Sounds like... Quite a batch.

Yes. Well, if you'd like to come, we do need another parking attendant.

Margo, you'd have an easier time getting through life if you'd sew your lips

together.

Henry, I'm getting some coffee.

Did you hear that there's going to be a make -your -own ice cream sundae buffet

with nuts, strawberries, chocolate chips... Hi, guys. ...whipped cream, M

sprinkles... Is Cherry still talking about the ice cream sundae? ice cream

buffet.

Why not? She's the expert.

Coconut and marshmallow.

This party's going to be the crowning event of the adolescent social season.

Everyone who's anyone will be there.

Oh, Punky and Cherry are invited, too.

I'm sure they're honored.

The indoor and outdoor pools are heated to perfection, and Daddy's...

He did?

Righty fist in the bloody knuckles.

Really? Wow.

Oh, my Lord.

Gee, I'm sorry I'm going to miss that.

Me too.

Well, thanks for the coffee, Henry.

Come on, girls, let's get a move on.

Well, Punky, I'm going to be working late at the restaurant tonight.

I want you to come home right after school and finish that history essay.

And I want you to come home and clean up your room before something starts

growing in there.

You wouldn't believe what Cherry's room looks like.

If it's anything like Punky's, we're in danger of being condemned.

Now, let's go.

Come on, Punky. You go ahead. I'll be right down.

need to buy a new outfit for this party. Do you think you could give me an

advance on my allowance?

Your allowance has already been advanced through 1999.

But it's important that I look just right.

Just wear something you already have.

Henry, Margot's snobby friends will be there. I'll be humiliated.

The answer is no. We just can't afford it.

Brandon's in the kitchen right now trying to figure out how we're going to

this month's bill.

Did Puggy come home from school?

What do you mean you were napping?

Have the girls shown up here yet?

No, and it's 8 .30.

Oh, where could they be?

Did you call Margo's?

Yes, and some mealy -mouthed butler tells me that I haven't been cleared for

information.

Do you think we should call the police?

Well, I don't want to overreact.

That's right, I'm sure they're fine.

It's not as if we should be scared or worried or... Hey, gang, what's

We've been scared to death.

No biggie, Henry.

No biggie?

We just dropped off to the mall on our way home from school and lost track of

time.

I specifically forbade you to go to the mall this afternoon.

And you were supposed to be cleaning your room.

Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry, Grandma.

Yeah, sorry, Henry.

But wait until you hear about the...

outfit I put on layaway for the party.

I also said no new outfit.

Yeah, I sort of remember you saying something.

Well, chair, I certainly hope you enjoyed yourself.

Yeah, I did.

Good. Because the next time you go to the mall, you'll be shopping with your

social security check.

And where's your history, I think?

Right here. I got more detail like you suggested.

Napoleon was a short nerd.

I don't believe this.

It's true. He was a shrimp.

How can you be so irresponsible?

It's a gift.

You, young lady, are grounded for two weeks. Two weeks? She won't be able to

with me to Margot's party.

And you're not going either.

You're going to get bloody knuckles scraping the grunge up off your bedroom

floor.

Move your buns.

Hunky, I want you to go to your room and think about how you've been behaving

lately.

Henry, please, I'll clean up my room right now. I'll double the length of my

assay. Just please let me go to the party.

No, if you can't assume life's responsibilities, you can't share in

Henry, please.

Go to your room.

I feel terrible.

Me too.

Punishing Punky makes me feel like a monster.

I know. I hate punishing Cherry.

Makes me feel like such a meanie.

And it's a financial setback, too.

How's that?

When Cherry's grounded, she gets an especially large appetite.

But what it cost me in ding -dongs alone, I could retire.

I don't know how else to make an impression.

They've got to learn to take their responsibilities seriously.

I agree.

But when they're grounded for two weeks... We're grounded for two weeks.

Thanks for helping me clean up the mess, Brandon.

Henry just isn't fair.

Children should be able to express themselves and do what they want. And

should never, ever, ever be punished.

If I'm a parent, I'll never treat my kids this way.

I'll be a great parent.

Henry, that alone could wake King Tut.

Henry, it's time for school.

But you don't have to go if you don't want to.

Thanks, Mom.

Feel free to live your life however you want.

expression of your personal face.

Thanks. I like it. It's me.

Did you finish your history essay?

Yes, it's on the sale.

Napoleon was a nerd.

I like it.

Crap. It's direct.

Less is more.

I thought so.

Well, now that I'm awake, maybe I'll go to school for an hour or so.

Only if you want.

You're such a perfect parent.

Yes, I know.

Time for the monthly bills again.

paper gas electric which one should i pay first

they'll take care of themselves

time I don't ask him about them.

You're such a perfect parent.

I know.

Wow, little Betty was telling me about the party. Wait till you hear these kids

are gonna have a grand old time.

It's gonna be the crowning event of the adolescent social season.

Well, if you'd like to come, we do need another parking attendant.

Gee, thanks for the offer.

intrude on Henry Bates.

He's such a perfect parent.

Yes, I know.

Hey, dudes, what's the pass?

Tell him, Margo.

Freddy Fist and the Bloody Knuckles are playing at my party Saturday.

Awesome!

I'm gonna sham it till I'm scared.

you'll want to buy a new outfit for the party.

Here, use my credit card.

Oh, plastic.

Plastic.

Now I'm sure you'll use this responsibly.

Oh, Betty, don't forget your lunch.

What is it?

Twice -baked potatoes, zucchini, a gratin, and a top sirloin steak.

It was, but like red meat is out.

Oh.

Henry, dear, will you be home right after school?

Maybe. Oh, okay, no pressure. I'll leave that up to you. Use your best judgment.

That's right. Use your best judgment.

to get worried.

Have you heard from the kids yet?

No.

I hate to be a nervous Nellie, but maybe we should call the police.

Well, Punky, we did tell them to use their best judgment on when to come

I know, but it's been five years.

Hey, it's really cold in here.

Yeah, they shut off my heat.

I lose electricity.

I guess I should have taken those bills a little more seriously.

Hey, gang, what's happening?

Where have you two been?

I guess we lost track of time.

You sure did. You missed high school.

Where is my credit card? I need to pay the electricity bill.

Ah, here you go.

But I had to buy a few things, and I'm afraid you're $97 ,000 over the limit.

for a couple of years and then I had 18 kids.

Oh, my Lord.

Where's dinner? I'm starved.

Where?

You can't ground us now.

You've been letting us run our own lives all along.

You can't expect us to change now that we're totally worthless human beings.

But you've ruined your life.

Where did we go wrong?

See you around.

What's going on?

I was having a terrible nightmare. I was you and you was me.

You was?

I mean, you were?

I thought I was the perfect parent.

And that loving your kid means you let them do whatever they want.

But that's not the right way at all.

No.

If that were true, raising kids would be a breeze.

But it's not.

Believe me, I know.

You can't be too easy on them.

or else they'll turn out to be totally worthless human beings like you.

What? In my dream, I wanted you to like me so much, I ruined your life.

Sometimes being a parent can be very unpopular, but it's part of the job.

Henry, I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting lately.

You're forgiven.

I am?

You're still grounded, but you're forgiven.

You know, today I'm really going to clean up this room.

I promise.

That sounds great.

All right, Brandon, I'll do it right now. You're such a nudge.