Original subtitles

Maybe the world is blind or just a little unkind.

Don't know.

Seems you can't be sure of anything anymore.

Although...

You're trying to get the attention of the cute guy sitting next to you. So you

A, say hello, B, begin gasping for CPR, or C, start to braid his

leg hair.

Margo?

Forget the cute guy.

What ghastly event has reduced me to public transportation?

That's not the point.

That's true.

The real point is, did anyone... I know is going to get on that bus?

Never mind.

Punky, I'm busy.

Come on, guys.

Don't you want to know what your femininity quotient is?

Jerry, there's more to life than boys.

Like what?

Like music.

Yeah.

Michael Jackson is a babe.

And sport.

Yeah. Magic jumps. than there's a babe.

Why'd you do that?

Your brain is stuck.

These magazine quizzes are a waste.

When it's time to marry, this smart girl thumbs through who's who to find out

who owns what, and that's that.

You are boy crazy.

And you are just plain crazy.

Where did I leave my wire strippers?

They're right over there.

Pretty hostile way to stop a guy from cutting through your yard.

Honky?

What's wrong?

What a pain.

Hey, you okay?

Well, fortunately it wasn't my pitching arm.

I'm Kevin Daly. I'm Cherry.

Ms. Marville Kramer.

And you are?

What kind did you get?

Hey, I love your left shoe.

Orange is my favorite color.

Last time, Brandon, you cannot have a pet.

Come in.

Hi. Morning, Mr. Winnemot. Is Punky up yet?

Ow!

She's in the bathroom, plucking her eyebrows.

Punky, your friends are here.

Unfortunately, you chose orange.

It's Saturday.

Then I'm late.

Lucky, you're acting a little strange.

Are you okay?

I'm burning up.

No fever?

Perhaps you drank a little too much cereal.

I'll call the doctor.

He can't help.

There is no cure for love.

Oh, I see.

You're in love.

Isn't that wonderful?

Who's the lucky boy, and is he the reason you're dressed like a popsicle?

Well, his name is Kevin, and his favorite color is orange.

Have I met Kevin?

Henry, if you really like somebody, how can you tell if they like you back?

Mostly how they treat you.

Have I met Kevin?

Have you ever noticed Kevin rhymes with heaven?

No.

Have I met Kevin?

He's coming over later to help me install my stereo in the treehouse. Oh,

Now I see why you're so excited. My little girl is in love.

Yeah.

I'm so depressed.

The red wire goes to the red wire, and the black wire goes to the black wire.

Could you hand me a screwdriver?

Regular or Phillips?

Phillips.

Thanks.

You know, Punky, most girls wouldn't know the difference.

Really?

Kids.

Then we just plug it in and turn it on.

You're a god.

All finished.

What's your favorite station?

What's yours?

WATV.

We'll be listening to the same song together on different radios.

Yeah, right.

Oh, here she works.

Sounds great!

You need a longer antenna.

I'll bring you one tomorrow.

It's a cake, right?

Yeah. I beg to thank you for helping me with all this cereal stuff.

Oh, thanks, Punky.

You know, you're a pretty special girl.

I am.

Well, sure.

And this is a pretty special...

of those times when it's the thoughts that count.

You're so deep.

Uh, thanks.

Listen, I'll see you tomorrow with that antenna.

Guys are waiting for me at the ballpark.

Bye, Ken.

Uh, Punky, are you, uh... Oh, hell yeah, man.

I'm Henry Warnemon, Punky's father.

Nice to meet you, sir. I'm Kevin Dowling.

Did he say his name was Kevin?

Yeah.

Isn't he gorgeous?

That was Kevin?

The Kevin?

That fully grown muscle -bound gorilla with a three -day stubble?

Yeah, he's crazy about me.

He is?

Yeah, he said I was special.

He did?

Uh -huh, and I'll be seeing him every day.

Every day?

I guess we're going to study.

I'm going to break the news to Jerry.

I'm going to break every bone in his body.

Kevin, darling.

Kevin, darling.

I'm going to... I found him in the flea dirt. I'm going to rearrange his body

parts. By the time I'm through with him, he's going to look like a Picasso

painting. Well, let me ask you something.

Are you upset?

That boy must be 16, 17, 30 years old.

Well, it won't help to carry on like an overheated fuddy -duddy.

What's a boy that age?

Doing hanging around an 11 -year -old girl. It's sick. It's disgusting.

It's... Henry,

this kind of agitation can cause a blood clot to shoot right through your veins,

injure your heart, and pow!

One dead sucker.

The only dead sucker around here is going to be that cradle -robbing stereo

-installing Casanova.

Well, calm down.

I've known Kevin and his family for years.

He's a nice, normal boy.

I'm willing to bet that this romance is all in Punky's mind.

You think so?

Well, she's showing all the symptoms of a crush.

A crush?

Oh, Betty.

Punky's growing up.

Why can't she remain a tomboy for 30 or 40 more years?

Don't worry, Henry.

This situation with Punky and Kevin will work itself out.

You're probably right.

But just to be on the safe side, shouldn't I kill him anyway?

Oh, Henry.

into your kibble. Henry asks, see where you got it. Play dumb.

Dinner is served.

Sherry, you're the best friend a girl ever had.

What do you make from it?

Well, I felt that you and Kevin deserved to have chicken Kiev with potatoes au

gratin. You shouldn't have.

I didn't.

I made burgers and fries instead.

It's almost 5 .30. Yeah.

Kevin should be here any minute.

Yeah.

Three is a crowd, Jerry.

Oh, yeah, right.

Well, good luck, Punky.

Uh -huh.

I figured she'd try to tape us.

I brought your antenna.

Hi.

Gee, don't you look nice.

Thanks.

Who is this? Your sister?

No, this is... Your mother?

No. Your general hygienist?

No, this is my girlfriend.

Gina, this is Punky.

Well, hi, Punky.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, you too.

Will you excuse us for just a moment?

I don't think I was expected.

What do you mean?

She was planning a romantic dinner. For two.

Which two?

You two.

That kid has a crush on you.

She does?

Look around.

Candlelight, dinner, flowers.

She likes you more than I do.

I guess that's good news and bad news.

You've got a problem.

Yeah, I do.

Look, Jean, I better talk to her. I know we're supposed to catch a movie, but...

No, that's okay.

Call me later.

Okay.

So you did all this for me?

Are you kidding? Don't be stupid.

It was for me and my boyfriend.

Oh, you have a boyfriend?

Yeah. Uh, Brandon.

He's crazy about me.

Follows me everywhere.

He's got red hair and big brown eyes.

When I'm hurt, he kisses my face.

emotional assassin.

Nice to see you again, sir.

What did you do to my little girl?

Nothing. Our relationship was strictly electronic.

Quiet, Brandon. I'll handle this.

That's Brandon?

Don't change the subject.

You listen and listen good.

The first thing I want you to do is to... Apologize and set everything

Yes, and then I want you to... Explain that I never meant to give her the wrong

impression. Right.

And then I want you to try and help build up her ego again.

Absolutely.

I'm sorry I had to be so rough on you.

That's all right, sir.

Punky?

Go away.

I suppose they need a little privacy.

Can I sit down?

It's a free couch.

Punky, I'm sorry I hurt you.

I didn't mean to.

Dinner sure smelled good.

What'd you make?

Cherry made it. I can't cook, remember?

You know, Punky,

I had no idea that you liked me.

How could you not know?

I dropped like an orange.

I plucked my eyebrows.

You did?

Doesn't that hurt?

It's like sticking yourself in the face with a porcupine.

I was stupid to think you liked me.

Oh, I do like you.

But I like you as a friend.

That hurts worse than eyebrow plucking.

I don't know what else to say.

I'm sorry, Punky.

I really am.

Gina's pretty.

Yeah.

I mean, she's okay.

See ya.

See ya.

Bye.

Hunky, are you okay?

Sure?

Really sure?

Reed just wanted to be my friend.

I'm sorry, honey.

I feel like my heart broke into a million jagged pieces.

You're cutting me all over.

I know that feeling.

You do?

Yes. When I was 12 years old, I had a terrible crush on the school nurse.

I'll never forget her.

Nurse Budnager.

I bought a medical dictionary.

And every day I'd go to her office and pretend I had a different disease.

I had angina.

Asthma. Athlete's foot.

But she caught on when she realized that my illnesses were coming in

alphabetical order.

What ever happened to Nurse Bud Nugger?

She married the gym coach.

And I cried for a month.

Only a month?

All right.

If this is what love's like, I think I'll pass.

Honey.

I know love can be painful sometimes, but it can also be wonderful when the

right person comes along at the right time.

Really?

Really. And until that happens, can I still be your number one beau?

Sure.

Thanks.

Well, there's still dinner for two damn beers.

You hungry?

I'm starved.

You didn't cook it, did you?

No.