Original subtitles

Maybe the world is blind or just a little unkind.

Don't know.

Seems you can't be sure of anything anymore.

Although...

Samantha? Brandon doesn't like lima beans.

Is that true?

Sometimes I wonder who's in charge around here.

Yes? There's something I sort of want to talk to you about. I'm all ears.

I'm not exactly sure how to exactly put this.

You won't get embarrassed?

Me? Embarrassed?

Funky, you can talk to me about absolutely anything. Absolutely

Right.

So I'm with it.

Henry, I'm getting...

I just dropped a few boobs. I mean, plates.

Here, let me help.

No, no, I got it.

You go to bed. It's bedtime.

Henry, it's a quarter to seven.

Okay, then you stay up and I'll go to bed.

You are embarrassed.

I am not embarrassed.

It's just that this is an important subject and we shouldn't attack it when

there's so little time left in the day. After all, the sun will set in less than

an hour.

Go and jump into your pajamas, and we'll talk about it first thing tomorrow.

Or the next day.

But, honey... Go, go, go, go!

Oh, great, Warnemont.

This qualifies you for the blundering hall of fame.

Betty!

Get down here pronto.

I've got a crisis.

What is it?

Punky says she's getting... Let me see. How shall I put this?

She's getting something?

It appears as if... It looks as though... Spit it out, Henry.

She's developing.

Developing what, an illness? No.

She's enlarging.

Developing, enlarging? She got a new camera?

If I must blurt it out, my daughter claims that she's getting... Breath.

Breath?

You call me down here for that?

For the record, Henry, a crisis is a three -alarm fire or broken bones.

Puberty is rarely fatal.

Mary, I'm in over my head.

I don't know how to handle this. I need your help.

Henry, what's happening to Ponty is perfectly normal.

Chuck said he's self -lucky.

Lucky?

Cherry's been driving me crazy to get her a frog.

But she just doesn't need one yet.

Maybe you should trade kids.

You know you're overreacting.

Of course I am.

When she brought it up, my throat...

She needs to talk to a woman. I'm just not qualified.

All right.

I want to have a few words for Cherry, so I'll talk to them together.

Thank you, Betty.

I genuinely appreciate this.

Betty,

why can't Punky remain a little girl?

Well, everyone grows up anyway.

I know.

I just hate to see her change.

I want Punky to stay just the way she is.

There's nothing you can do about that.

Look, when I signed her adoption papers, nobody told me she'd get older.

Well, you should have read the fine print.

Betty, the actual truth is I don't want Punky to grow up.

in our great house broth now?

Exactly seven.

Including, of course, moi.

You?

Yeah. I've had a broth for 16 days.

I'm surprised you haven't noticed.

We haven't noticed because there's nothing to notice.

You don't need a bro, Margo.

Maybe not yet.

But I will any second.

to sleep on my back. You know they only grow at night.

I didn't know that.

Yes. If you sleep on your stomach, you get the flattened out kind.

Why do you sleep on your side?

They come out crooked.

Martha, that's ridiculous.

Oh, you think so?

Take Lizzie Cladwell.

Wouldn't you say she's a little, uh...

sleeper uh if i show you guys something will you both really promise to keep it

a secret i promise cherry you know i can't keep a secret but i'll give you

dollars if you tell me

inches on my butt.

No, it won't.

It'll just give you a bigger armpit.

It works for this girl. Look.

Before.

Faster.

Cheery, that's a drawing.

The only thing that made her bigger was a paintbrush.

Punky's right.

Everyone knows there's only one sure way to make your boobs grow.

Oh,

my favorite.

What's the subject?

Oh, well, we are... Margo was telling us that cheese pops make your boobs

bigger. Chewy.

What are you talking about? But don't they get yellow crumbs all over your

chest?

No, no. You eat the cheese pop.

Can we change the subject here?

Girls, there isn't anything you can eat that'll make them grow any faster or...

or get any bigger.

Don't say that!

Your breast size is determined by your genes.

No, no, no, no.

Genes with a G.

Oh!

They're characteristics you inherit from your parents.

They also determine your height, eye color, and the size of your feet.

Okay, now that that's settled, can we please talk about something else?

You can't rush it.

You can't change it.

Oh, great.

Great! I'm stuck with a year's supply of cheese puffs.

I'm so depressed.

Cherry, the size of your chest has nothing to do with who you are as a

Tell that to the boys at school.

Tip Green says I'm a pirate's treasure.

A sunken chest.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.

But what if he keeps teasing me?

Then you're ripping lips off.

Are we done now?

Can we please talk about something else?

Margot, it's getting dark, so I'll drive you home.

You and Cherry go on down to the car. I'll be right there.

Bye, Punky.

Funky, you've been awfully quiet.

Is there anything wrong?

No, not really.

Henry mentioned that you were starting to develop.

I was thinking it might be nice if you and I went out and bought you your first

bra. Yeah, maybe someday.

How about right now?

Yeah, that's it.

I see.

Don't you want to get a bra, Punky?

No. Henry doesn't want me to get one, and I don't want...

That, of course, was Tchaikovsky's Waltz of the Flowers.

Yes, it's worth listening to the whole piece just to hear those last five

Thanks a lot, Betty.

Well, excuse me, Lenny Bernstein.

Now I'm going to feel incomplete for the rest of the day.

Oh, come on. You've been incomplete since birth.

Is there any reason for this ill -timed visit besides the annoyance value?

Well, I had my little chat with the girls.

The one you asked me to have.

That's terrific.

Well, like you said, my timing is ill. No, no, no. Betty, your timing is great.

You're a lifesaver.

That's true.

I'm one in a million.

It's all taken care of, then.

Not exactly.

Funky told me that you don't want her to have a bra.

Why would she say that?

I don't know, but it's up to you to find out why.

You are her father, are you not?

You're right.

I should have handled this in the first place.

After all, I'm an adult.

I'll make myself the owner of this.

You're a brave and crazy guy, Henry.

Right after dinner, I'll take Punky to the mall.

Great. Now having saved the world from the great adolescent disease crisis, I'm

riding off into the sunset.

Betty.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

Over there.

Look at this.

What do you think of this one?

Me? Yes, you're a man.

Thank you.

Oh, madam, I picture you in that garment, and I'm speechless.

She'll need to.

Henry, I'll go and get someone to help her.

No.

I mean, we'll be out of here in no time.

No need to get strangers involved.

Pardon me.

Here's a good one.

I see what you mean.

Hi.

Can I help you?

That woman needs help. She can't find the dressing room.

She works here.

What can I do for you?

We're shopping for my daughter.

Oh, I gotcha.

You're getting your very first over -the -shoulder boulder holder.

Well, what'll it be, honey?

Cross your heart, underwire, padded, quilted, lace, or cotton?

I don't want any of those. I don't even want to be here.

See, it seems a handful.

Excuse me.

What's the matter?

Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can do something about it.

Can you stop me from getting boobs?

I don't think so.

Why would you want me to?

I'm scared I might lose you.

Lose me?

Why? I heard you tell me... Jonathan, that you wanted me to stay a little girl

forever.

Oh.

Now that I'm changing, I'm scared you won't want me anymore.

Why would you think that?

My mom stopped wanting me.

Listen to me.

I will never stop wanting you to be part of my life.

You know why?

Why?

Because you're the best part of my life.

How come you said I'm growing up?

Remember when Brandon was a puppy? You told me you never wanted him to grow up.

Yeah, he's so cute, Dad.

Well, he did grow up.

How do you feel about him now? Don't you love him just as much?

Sure, even more.

I have the same feelings about you.

I'm a little sad when you outgrow certain things.

But I love you even more when I see what a fine young lady you're becoming.

Now do you understand?

Yeah. How come you've been so weird about my boobs?

Yes, I have been weird.

But I apologize. But you see, people talk about those subjects much more

now than when I was growing up.

Oh, no bras back then?

Oh, yes, we had them.

Not me personally.

But the point is, kids didn't talk about them.

Not unless you wanted your mouth washed out with soap.

Did that ever happen to you?

No.

My mother used Babbo.

The times have changed.

And it appears I still have some growing up to do, too.

I'll try and be more mature about these things in the future.

I'll help you, Henry.

Thank you.

Look, it's been a rough day. Why don't we just go home?

Everything's okay, Owen. Over the shoulder, boulder holder.

This way, young lady.