Original subtitles

Maybe the world is blind or just a little unkind.

Don't know.

Seems you can't be sure of anything anymore.

Although.

Veterinarium.

Let's see, that all adds up to... bankruptcy.

You know, it would be nice if you were to start earning your keep around here.

Well, that's a start.

Now look in the want ads.

Hi, Henry.

Hello, Mrs. Johnson.

I've got a wonderful surprise for you.

You're moving?

Henry, would it kill you just to show me a little common courtesy?

Probably not.

But why take chances?

Well, I do believe it's starting to rain.

Fortunately, we have two little girls who's prepared for bad weather.

You like our new outfits, Henry?

Very stylish.

I can't wait till it rains.

Me too. I hope we have a thunderstorm.

Maybe we'll get real lucky and have a hurricane.

$18 for just one outfit?

Henry, $18 was just for the hat.

The whole outfit was $74.

$74? That's right.

You told me not to buy junk.

You said the better the quality, the longer it'll last.

At this price, it better last till she graduates from college.

Henry, can we test out our new outfits by standing in the shower?

No. That's brand new rain gear. I don't want it getting wet.

Come on, Charlie. Let's go to my room and do a rain dance. Good idea.

I guess I owe you $74.

That's right.

Now, you be sure and remind me.

Henry, Funky's outfit is C -O -D.

Cash or die.

Okay. I'll write you a check.

But could you do me one little favor?

What's that?

Hold it till Monday?

Oh, sure.

I understand.

What was that exact total again?

$74 .16.

I'll make it out for $74 .25.

How come?

Well, just a little something extra for your trouble.

Gee, now I can buy that summer home on the lake.

I have to watch every penny, Mr. Johnson.

In no time at all, Punky will grow out of that outfit and will be a new one.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I bought Cherry a pair of sneakers, and she outgrew them on the way home from

the store.

Perhaps the ancient Chinese had the right idea.

Bind their feet.

Mrs. Johnson, I had no idea that raising Punky would be so expensive.

Since Punky moved in, my utility bills have gone sky high.

When I lived alone, I could economize in winter. I only heated one room.

I remember.

This place was like an icebox.

That was another way I saved. I unplugged the refrigerator.

Well, I tell you what freezes my blood.

The price of food.

The way Jerry puts it away, I'm going to have to start having my paycheck sent

straight to the market.

Punky goes through almost half a gallon of milk a day.

Half a gallon of milk used to last me two, three months.

Oh, that's why your kitchen used to smell so funny.

You know, I once read that from birth to age 18, it costs about $120 ,000 to

raise a child.

Oh, that's terrifying.

But look on the bright side.

You got Punky when she was eight years old.

She's only gonna cost you a measly 85.

Since Punky got here, I've spent quite a few sleepless nights wondering how I'll

make ends meet.

Well, Henry, welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood.

$80 ,000!

Yeah! That's almost a million!

Wet mask.

Very funny.

Help me in.

What are you doing here, Alan?

I got some big news.

Really? Yeah.

Irving's Unusual Ice Cream just got in a brand new flavor.

Pork sausage!

I'm going to order a double ink.

Punky, you get a dollar from Henry.

and Cherry gets a dollar from Grandma, then the three of us will have two

dollars to spend.

No way, Alan. I'm never asking Henry for money ever again. No more.

You want me to ask him?

Alan, we just heard Henry and Mrs. Johnson saying how expensive kids are.

we cost $80 ,000.

What? My parents can't afford that much. Must have gotten me on sale.

It cost our parents $80 ,000 to raise us until we're 18.

They must be holding out on me.

It's all I get is a quarter a week.

Alan, you never understand anything.

What's that supposed to mean?

I feel awful.

I never realized how much money I'm costing Henry. Yeah, I never knew my

worried about money.

I just feed her junk, feed her enough for everything.

My dad complains about money all the time.

Every month, he asks my mom for buying something expensive.

Then, after she cries her brains out, he goes out and buys her something even

more expensive.

I can't believe how selfish I've been.

I wanted to stay here with him, but I never stopped to realize how much money

was costing him.

Take, take, take.

All I do, I'm not going to be a tree lover anymore.

I'm going to find a way to pull my own weight around here.

How are you going to do that?

I don't know.

But I'll think of something.

Come in.

Hi.

Can I help you?

Yes, sir. I'd like to borrow $80 ,000, please.

I beg your pardon.

I'd like a loan for $80 ,000.

That's a good one.

I'm serious.

Miss Taylor, there's an adorable little girl in here who needs to be shown the

door.

Nothing. I thought when I came in.

Miss Taylor.

Miss Taylor.

She's not here. I sent her to lunch.

The letter's too big. I had it finished on the back.

Keister?

That's me.

Punky Brewster.

Well, I'm Oliver Green, and you've brightened up my day. Now get out.

I have to leave?

Yes.

You shouldn't be in here. I happen to be a very, very busy man.

Yes, it is. The one on TV they call the friendly bank? That's right.

Well, you're not being very friendly to me.

Young lady, you are in the vice president's office. The friendly people

downstairs.

You go talk to them, and you may go home with a toaster.

Hi.

Yes? I have a toaster. Randy, it is 80 ,000 grand.

How in the world would you ever pay back a loan that large?

With my allowance, if I cut down on chocolate milk at school, I could pay

back ten cents a week.

At that rate, it would take you...

15 ,000 years.

Well, maybe by then I'll be a rodeo rider or an astronaut, and I could pay

back.

money to people who are already working and are financially stable.

You mean you only lend money to people who already have money?

Exactly. That's weird.

Why do you lend money to people who really need it?

Because then we have to worry about them paying it back.

But I thought this was Midville Bank and Trust, not Midville Bank and Worry.

What is it you plan to do with this $80 ,000?

Raise me.

I beg your pardon?

You see, I ran.

He's my father, Dad.

Things that cost $80 ,000 to raise me until I'm 18.

Yeah, that's about right.

Well, we don't have that much money.

And, you see, Jimmy works so hard that I figured I'd help him out by paying my

own way.

You know what?

What? In all my years of banking, that is the nicest reason anyone's ever given

for a loan.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, where do I sign?

Punky, I'm very impressed with your reasons for wanting this money, but I'm

afraid I just can't give it to you.

Sorry.

Hey, I took a shot.

Hold on, Punky.

Now, there are other ways of obtaining money.

Maybe you could get a job.

Are there any openings here? I could sit behind a desk and not give people

money.

That job is filled.

How about opening up a lemonade stand?

Too seasonal.

I need a steady income.

Well, how about selling cookies?

I think there's a lot. They're only gross stuff.

Oh, excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, hello, dear.

It's my wife.

I'm sorry I can't talk now, dear. I'm meeting with a very important client.

No, no, no, no, no, dear. I'm not insinuating that anyone's more important

you. It's just that I... What?

No, it's impossible. I...

Love you, too.

Sorry, Punky. I have to go. I'm spending my lunch hour with Poopsie.

Poopsie? Is that what you call your wife?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no. That's what I call my dog.

I call my wife Bowser.

Gee, you're taking your dog to lunch?

That's nice.

Oh, actually, I'm taking him to the groomers.

$30 for a haircut?

His haircuts cost twice as much as mine.

Yes? This is your lucky day.

It is?

Absolutely. You're looking at one of the best dog groomers in Chicago.

Oh.

Have you had any experience?

Sure. I've been grooming my dog, Brandon, for years.

Well, how much do you charge?

Ten dollars.

Punky, you're in business.

Come on, let's go get Poopsie from old Bowser.

Mrs. DeBakken, we're having a special this month on puppy permits.

Oh, okay. Then I'll pick up Pee -Pee in just a little while.

Goodbye.

Who is it? It's me.

It's Alan.

Thanks, guys, for coming.

I really need your help.

What's this?

My job application.

Alan Anderson.

Adrian.

Nothing doing. For every three dogs I wash, I get a dollar.

Okay, only because you're a friend.

Punky, I'm worried about this. We don't know anything about dog grooming.

Relax, Sherry. We'll just pretend that we're running a beauty post.

The only difference is that our customers have fleas.

Great job, guys.

Our customers are going to be really happy with our work.

Who is it?

It's me, Eddie.

Hi, Eddie.

I just saw Mr. Warnemont coming down the street.

Great, he can help us finish grooming these dogs.

No, Alan, Harry's not supposed to know about this.

I went away until I earned the $80 ,000.

And that surprised him.

And you've got to get out there and stall Mr.

Watermont. Don't worry, he won't get past me.

Huddle!

Hey, Mr. Watermont, can I talk to you for a second?

No. Okay, have a nice day.

What's all this?

Oh, uh... Cherry and I were playing beauty parlor.

Sit down.

You want a pedicure?

Later, Punky. I'll put away these groceries.

No.

No?

I meant there's no need to when you look so tired. Sit down, Henry, and I'll put

away the groceries.

Thanks, I will.

and I'd be done with poopsie?

Sorry, no poopsie here.

You look pretty poopsie yourself.

Sit down and relax.

Excellent idea.

Ever since I got home, I've had the same huge suspicion that something is going

on behind my back.

That's silly.

Mikey, you're hiding something from me.

I'm not sure what it is, but I know that something's going on around here.

Is that Brandon?

Yeah, sure. Who else?

You've been feeding him steroids?

Certainly not.

We don't have room for another dog that size.

How about one that size?

Bunky, what doggy craziness is this?

Well, I sort of started a dog grooming business, and these are my first

customers. Look how his coat shines.

You turned this apartment into a kennel.

But let me explain. There's no explanation for this kind of behavior.

these animals in here without my permission.

I want them.

Young lady, you are in big trouble.

I know.

I shouldn't have done it. That's right.

I guess the best thing would be to just pack my stuff and leave.

Hold it.

You can't just leave.

Why not?

That would be the best thing. There wouldn't be a burden on you anymore.

Burden? Yeah, that's what I am. You've been taking care of me, and I haven't

done anything to help.

What's this?

The money I earn for my business.

$80 here.

I'm sorry, it's not $80 ,000 I owe you.

$80 ,000?

Yeah.

I heard you and Mrs. Johnson saying that's how much it would cost to raise

Oh.

I see.

Punky, let's sit down.

I want you to know that you never have to worry about money.

That's not your job. It's mine.

Your job is to go to school and to have fun and to be a little girl.

I'm so expensive.

You're worth every penny I spend on you.

You're not expensive.

You're priceless.

Thanks, Henry.

Tell you what.

Tomorrow, let's take these $80 to the bank and open a savings account for you.

Okay.

Right now, why don't we go into the kitchen and make us a nice steak dinner?