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Yeah, it's honestly such a relief

to get to the residential college I want.

I got my last choice.

Yo, I'm on the subreddit, like, all the time

trying to see if I'll like it.

I don't even care what dorm I'm in,

I'm just excited to get the fuck out of here.

I don't even know how I'm gonna live without air conditioning.

But that's like a small price to pay, I guess.

A modern day martyr.

Seriously. What school can't afford air conditioning?

Dude, it's old, man. It's founded in...

- 1701. - 1701.

Okay, I didn't ask for this.

And I didn't ask for a detailed investigation

of the trivialities of ancient dorm rooms,

but fucking, here we are.

At residential colleges, Otis.

You know, once you decide on the place, you'll be the same.

Hey, school literally starts in two weeks.

Have you heard about the wait list?

This whole process is so fucked.

- Trust me, I know. - You got into Cornell.

Okay, but it's not Northwestern.

Yeah, but, Cornell is an Ivy.

But Medill is the best.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. Only Northwestern can teach you

how to write the perfect listicle.

Ten TikTokers to follow today who have huge vines.

That's honestly not a bad idea.

Okay, journalism is more than listicles.

That's breaking news to me.

So, uh, what are you gonna do if you fail in mid-century?

Ah! Cora!

I still have a good feeling about it.

I don't really have a plan.

But I'll probably just go to community college or something.

You know I have my heart set on that.

Otis, that's so stupid. You have to have a plan.

I mean, you got in some really good schools.

Yeah, sure.

Is college really the only thing we're capable of talking about?

I really thought we were more interesting than that.

Okay, well, New Haven is interesting.

Oh, my fucking Lord. New Haven.

The best school I've ever seen in my entire life.

New Haven.

New Haven, baby!

- Ooh! -What?

The itinerary has come out to play.

Okay, you guys laugh now,

but when we wake up tomorrow morning

with 10 breakfast burrito options in the middle of the desert,

you'll be begging for more.

Begging for more?

From your itinerary?

You really do like to flirt with me, don't you?

There's no pressure.

Hey, you never flirt with me. - You're straight.

Jeez, I dare you to say that with less derision.

Well, I mean, you're just as straight.

Well, at least I'm not a straight white male.

That's got to be the most unequivocally boring demo.

Did you just categorize me as a demo?

Look, straight is straight. All right?

Well, I kissed Millie at the after prom, remember?

Man, we all remember.

That doesn't really count.

Okay. Why do you get to decide on what counts?

- Because... - You just get to label me?

Okay. As the only person in the car who hasn't kissed someone

- of the same sex... - Or the opposite, for that matter.

It hasn't been for lack of opportunity.

- Oh, fuck off. - Uh-huh.

- Damn, this is a tome. - All right, relax.

I feel like that's giving him more credit than what it's worth.

I mean...

I mean, A Little Life is a tome, or War and Peace.

This is a separate Yellow Pages.

I mean, the amount of fucking paper.

Otis?

-What's up? - Otis, are you fucking smoking, dude?

You can't fucking smoke that in here. - OTIS: Hey, hey.

- My dad's gonna kill me. - I thought this was your car.

Dude, that's different, man.

Dude, you're literally gonna be on the other side of the country next week.

Give me that. Give me that.

Finally, some fucking common sense. Jesus.

Come on. Really? Cora!

- Sorry. - Cora, come on.

Yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up, guys.

This says you have an itinerary to masturbate.

Okay. No, I don't.

Says otherwise here. "Chop morning wood, 9:00 a.m." - Shut up!

I do not have a masturbation itinerary, Otis! -

Yeah, you do.

Ew! It's fucking heavy.

It's probably costing us extra gas.

It's a lot of jacking off.

Oh, my God.

Um...

Guys, I think... I think we're lost.

Guys... Here...

Can someone check the nav for me, please?

The nav? The nav? Somebody? Anybody? Thank you.

Okay. Um...

No, I need a navigator,

not a DJ.

In 500 feet, turn left.

Just follow the directions.

That's what I'm trying to do.

- Turn left... - Yo, just relax.

Okay, I do not need to relax like that, Otis.

I'll be fine once I know where I'm going.

Okay, we know where we're going.

- We fucking don't. - Turn left.

Dude, just look at your itinerary.

Dude, the itinerary doesn't tell me how the fuck to get there, Otis.

Oh, so you're just saying that it'll be easier if we're all in your phone.

Just admit it, I'll give it back.

Fuck you, Otis. Cora, can you just please grab my phone?

I'm not defending your itinerary.

Turn right.

- Otis... - Make a U-turn.

Ow! Okay, okay. All right.

- Make a U-turn. - Give me my phone.

- Make a U-turn. -Look out!

- Make a U-turn. - What the fuck was that?

What the fuck?

Maybe it was a pole or something?

Poles don't walk out in the middle of the road.

I'm sorry for trying to be an optimist.

Hello, Jaden. Where'd you go?

- This is all your fault. - My fault? I wasn't driving.

Exactly. Someone could have been looking at my phone.

Oh, come on. You always know where you're going.

Fuck, man. Fuck!

Okay, we don't even know what you hit yet.

No. Hell, no. Hell, no. Wehit it.

I didn't do anything.

We all did it.

You guys, it was probably just a deer.

Oh, fuck. You think it was a deer?

Oh, my God, I hope not.

I fucking hope not. I like deer.

I'm not a hunter. I've never even like entertained the idea

about hunting, or anything like that.

I don't think I'll be the same after this.

- Are you done? - Yeah. Maybe. I don't fucking know.

Okay, we don't even know if it's dead yet.

Okay? Come on.

Let's go check.

Oh, shit.

- Fuck! - Oh!

Fuck...

Oh, fuck. I take it all back.

I wish it was a fucking deer. I take it all back.

Is she...

Oh, fuck.

I am so fucking screwed.

God, I'm going to fucking jail.

I'm going to fucking jail.

It's now the wrong time for a gay prison joke?

- What the fuck do you think? - Maybe she's alive?

Fucking look at her.

We have to call the police.

Smelling like some fucking Snoop Dogg, Martha Stewart,

fucking cannabis air diffuser or some shit? Like...

You didn't smoke anything.

Do you think they'll believe that?

What the hell?

It must have bounced off Jaden's car.

Oh, it's fucking heavy.

Ooh. Holy shit. Look.

Oh!

Dude, there's like hundreds of thousands of dollars in there.

No fucking way.

Who cares? Who cares? I'm gonna be arrested.

I'm gonna be arrested and... And Yale is going to rescind my application.

Dude, you're a gay, Black valedictorian,

and you're, like, top javelin thrower in California.

Yale's not gonna revoke your admission.

Okay, Fox News, pretty sure manslaughter would do it.

Also, third top javelin thrower.

And I'm pretty sure there's 49 other states that we have to worry about.

Oh, my God, my dad's gonna fucking kill me.

Listen, okay, it's only manslaughter if she dies.

We have to call a fucking ambulance.

It doesn't matter, Cora. I'm screwed either way.

Once they figure out I was the one who was driving when we hit her,

it'll be everywhere, and they'll never let me enroll.

What about the money?

Who fucking cares about the money?

It's literally hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Don't take my word on that.

I don't... Oh, fuck!

All right, let's just...

Let me take her to the hospital.

We'll drop her off, and then...

And then, we'll make a run for it.

No, I really don't think that's gonna be a good idea.

That's stupid.

Where the fuck did she even come from?

All right. Okay, um...

Let's at least get her in the car, then...

Here, help me. Help me move her over.

Dude...

Just... Just roll her over.

So we're leaving a crime scene.

Fucking saving her life.

- One, two, three. -Got me in the head.

-Sorry. All right. - Come on.

Maybe we'll just, you know, put her in the trunk.

No, I don't feel good about that.

Just in case we get pulled over.

- No. - Yes.

-Oh, shit, the bags. -Are you fucking kidding me?

-The bags! Fuck! -God!

All right, look, we don't got time for this.

- Put her in the back. -Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Shit!

Okay. Here, get her legs. Just get her legs. Get her legs.

-I'm trying. -Come on, just get her over.

Yeah, okay.

I'll put the money in. Come on.

-Damn it! What? -Fuck.

Christ, I'm trying...

Dude, she's fucking leaning on me.

Oh, fuck!

My car's all fucked up.

Dude...

Okay...

Come on.

Just start the fucking car. Come on, let's go. - JADEN: I'm trying, dude.

-Go! - I'm trying to start it.

Start the fucking car. Come on, dude. - JADEN: Don't fucking do this!

Come on, come on, come on!

Fucking go!

Let's get out of here. Fuck!

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm putting on her seatbelt.

Oh, I'm so glad we're now so concerned with her safety.

What the...

Who do you think that is?

Oh, my God. They're calling her extended car warranty...

- Who gives a fuck? - Shit. Someone could be tracking her.

Okay, nobody is tracking her.

How do you know? What makes you so sure?

Okay, Otis. What are you gonna do? Do not answer that phone.

Hey, don't be an idiot, Otis!

Do you guys have gloves?

Oh, yeah. Let me just check my glove box surgery kit.

-Uh... -Whoa. What are you doing?

- What's going on? -Hey!

Eyes on the road this time, Jaden! God damn it! - JADEN: You're right.

- There, all done. - What?

Was that really necessary?

- I think so. - Then why didn't you just break it?

I'm not a criminal mastermind here.

- Fuck! - You're fucking stupid.

Fuck you!

Shoot me. Just shoot me now.

Okay, the hospital's five minutes away.

We're still keeping the money, though, right?

Okay, I don't think that's a good idea.

Why not? We drop her off and she won't know what hit her, literally.

The minute she wakes up, she's gonna be looking for that money.

And I don't think we want to give her, or the police

any more motivation to find us.

Okay. Look, she is obviously a criminal.

She probably won't even tell anybody.

Oh, great. Now we have a criminal after us?

I already feel so much better.

Uh, guys... She's not breathing.

-What? - She's... She's not...

She's not fucking breathing. I think she's dead.

Like really, really, really dead.

Oh, God! Fucking damn it, man!

Man, this is getting fucking worse!

We're moving a dead body from a crime scene. It's pretty rock bottom.

Okay, look, we can't bring her to a hospital.

They can't do anything for her. She's fucking deceased.

Okay, we don't know that yet.

No, no, he's right. He is right. Okay?

There are cameras. We can't just chuck a body out of the car and run.

Okay, I... I don't... I don't think it's too late to call the police.

What? And lose the money?

Dude, who cares about the fucking money, Otis?

I'm not gonna be able to go to Yale.

And we'll probably go to fucking jail. - Calm down, Dr. Seuss.

Maybe they'll throw you in a New Haven jail,

and you can still tell people you're moving to New Haven.

Okay, this isn't fucking funny, Otis.

You're an accessory, too, you know.

All right. I think we should just go to the Airbnb.

Oh, we just ignore it and continue our trip?

It'll give us a place and some time to figure out what to do.

And by figure out, you mean dispose of a fucking body.

I have not said that yet.

Oh, my God.

I should've just stayed at home on fucking Reddit, man.

This whole thing was your idea.

Yeah, because I wanted to spend one more weekend

with the two people that...

You know what? Just fucking forget it.

Okay? Fucking forget it.

Unfortunately, I forgot to pencil in the manslaughter.

That's literally the definition of manslaughter.

You can't pencil it in.

Are you sure you didn't plan on killing anybody tonight?

The photos looked pretty cool during the day.

Wait, is someone home?

No. There's no way.

They said the key would be under the mat.

Hello? Oh...

Hallelujah. This must be Jaden.

- Yeah. - Well, well, well. Howdy.

- Hi. We just found it, you know. - Oh.

Is everything okay?

Of course. Why... Why wouldn't it be?

I was starting to think you weren't gonna show.

Oh, no, we just hit someone...

We hit some traffic.

Well, don't make no... Never mind.

Oh, sorry for not leaving the keys,

but I like to put a face to a name.

Yeah, it makes sense.

Alrighty.

- Those your friends? -Yeah.

Yeah. Um...

That's Cora, and that is Otis.

Otis. All right, howdy.

Round them up.

It's tour time!

- Tour time? - Mmm-hmm.

Tour time. Tour time!

Let's do a tour.

Mi casa es su casa.

And that's because my name's Sue. -

- Watch your step there. - Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Make way for ducklings.

Nobody here ever says that.

- We're covered in blood. - Pretty sure she can't even see.

That's not much of an insurance policy.

Insurance?

Yeah, I got insurance.

Honey, this place is probably worth more to me as a claim than a rental.

How old are you three?

Uh, we're... We're 18.

Oh, to be 18!

You got your whole lives ahead of you.

That's what they keep telling us.

So, how long have you owned this place?

Oh, about 30 years.

Been trying to get rid of it for 29.

Uh-huh. Is that a puzzle?

Why, yes, it is.

It's a puzzle and a photograph.

I took it myself out here on the Great Frontier.

-Oh. -Uh-huh.

I slapped a filter on it.

Bam! That's art.

I didn't even know you could do that.

- Oh, sure. - Uh, I'd love to hear more.

Well, it's not really that complicated.

You just got to first...

You gotta pick your jigsaw configuration.

Hey, Otis and Jaden. Do you mind go getting the bags

while I learn about my new found passion? Thank you.

Yeah, so...

Jigsaw configuration?

Shit, shit, shit!

Fuck! Now what the fuck do we do?

Let's take the bags out of the trunk and put the body in there.

- Come on. - Yes, yes, let's do that.

All right. Okay.

Shit, what the fuck?

This bag is heavier than I thought.

What's in here that's 25 pounds?

Well, fucking get it. Come on, let's go.

You're fucking right.

See, that's... I call that "Desert Song."

-Mm-hmm. - 'Cause the wind was blowing.

I was with somebody special.

Uh-huh?

You got somebody special? I bet you do.

- No. - I'm sure you do.

I don't know, maybe one of them fellas.

- But it's none of my business. - No, we're just friends.

So then, it comes to you all jumbled up, right? - Mmm-hmm.

And then you get to put it together.

Get it all together.

- You know? - Yeah.

That's what it's all about, right?

Yeah, that's just... That's really something.

You probably don't care. But then...

Do you have any other pieces?

I do.

You want to see 'em?

- I'd love to. - All right.

Wait a minute.

Those boys. They said they're getting their own luggage?

Yeah, well, they're big kids. They can handle it.

Yeah, but I can't afford it.

I can't afford it. Sorry.

Sorry.

I gotta put a stop to this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys!

Think she's done with it?

Just...

She's dead, I know she's fuckin' dead.

Otis, be careful. Grab this. Grab that.

Let me help you with your luggage.

No, no, no. It's okay, Sue. We got it. Thank you.

- Fuck! -Five stars!

Get our bags when the lady goes.

All service counts.

I'm fucked!

I need five stars.

Oh, fuck!

What you got in here, bricks?

In a word, yes.

- All right. -Thank you so much.

Y'all don't understand. I need five stars or I'm fucked.

You need five stars? Five stars?

Look, we got it. We got you. We have you.

Look, look. Five stars.

All right?

- Enter it. - Enter.

Click it. Go ahead. No, click it again.

There you go. Get it.

- All right. -Yeah?

Thank you, kid.

Oh. Well, I'll be getting out of your hair.

All right.

- Have a good old time. -You, too, Sue.

It's a nice house, and it's...

- Oh! -Oh, shit, I didn't...

Whoa!

- Oh... - You good?

Yeah, it's my drop foot.

Your drop foot.

I hate when that happens.

Well, it comes from not being 18 anymore. - OTIS: Yeah.

Well, it's real pretty out.

Yeah. You're gonna enjoy that house.

- You're gonna enjoy being 18. -We're gonna love it.

Oh, boy!

Oh!

Phew!

Bye, Sue.

Watch this.

Are you fucking me?

You don't see that much anymore.

- I love that sound. -Does it always do this?

Whoo-hoo!

That's fly, Sue. That's real fly.

- All right, you three, have fun. -Bye, Sue.

- And stay out of trouble. -All right.

Sue! Okay.

What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

I'm getting it.

Watch your step.

- Come on. -Okay.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe you haven't grown out of that thing yet.

You used to love it.

You know it helps me think.

I'm pretty sure Aristotle didn't use a skateboard.

That's just the dumbest thing you ever said.

- That's not the dumbest... - It's at least in the top three.

Okay, um...

Oh, shit!

Otis, what are you doing?

I don't want to lose my place.

- Are you kidding? -Whoa!

Do we really have time to do that right now?

I think it'd be nice to know what we're dealing with.

No, that's gonna make it that much harder to get rid of it.

- Get rid of it? -Yes!

We don't know who she is.

We don't know where this money came from.

And I can confidently say, it's not worth it.

That's just a snap judgment.

That's not a snap... Don't judge my judgment. - CORA: Please stop.

- You judge everything. -I don't judge...

- That's not true. -Will you stop?

- Are you fucking... Stop it. -Stop.

- Quit it! - Come on, you guys!

Let's change out of these clothes.

- Please stop. - Fuck off!

Come on. Come on!

Come on, Otis.

Please.

Fucking children!

Seven, four, four.

Three, two.

- Five, nine, six, five. - Dude, that's not funny.

Sixty-four, seventy-five...

That's not funny.

Ow! Fuck! We get it. You throw things fast and far, bro.

So sick.

Fuck.

Something's wrong with Otis.

What do you mean?

I've never seen him this passionate about anything.

I mean... I mean, I guess.

I don't think he's ever seen this much money before.

I haven't seen this much money before, either.

It's a lot of money.

I'm not talking literally.

Otis doesn't want that.

Trust me. I've known him almost my whole life.

Aside from the fact that cash will dry up, this affects all of us.

He could cost us our fucking lives.

Otis will never do that.

He may want the money, but he doesn't need it.

I'm not saying I don't want the money.

Same here.

I'm just saying we have to be careful.

Be careful?

Well, you can stop saying it.

We've been best friends since pre-K,

so I think I would know if he was gonna jeopardize us,

or whatever you think he's capable of doing. - Okay.

Thank you.

Uh, hey... Hey, guys, come here.

What's wrong?

Her name's Maya Fenton.

Oh, my God, that just makes it so much worse.

- Why? - Because she has a name.

Of course she has a name!

Yeah, that's not much of a plot twist.

Maya Fenton?

- That's weird. -What?

She's in recycling.

- Oh, fuck. -What?

No one is just in recycling.

Come on, man. What are you saying? That she's...

She's in the mob or something?

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Recycling is waste management.

You think we ran over Tony Soprano?

I mean, who in the recycling business

carries a million dollars in a briefcase?

Wait, is that how much money they raise?

- Just about. - Fuck.

That's a lot of five cent bottle deposits.

Okay, we have to return this money.

-To who? -The mob?

Well, yeah. Let me just dial up 1800 mob for you.

Okay, stop. I'm serious.

And how do you think that will really play out?

Even if we are unlucky enough to find them?

Guys, why didn't we just leave?

Why didn't we just call the cops?

And then what? We get popped off for killing one of their own?

I don't fucking know. I'm not an expert in mob law.

Okay, listen. I think our only option is to just dispose of the body.

Does anyone have any other suggestions?

No dumb ideas.

You don't have to raise your hand.

- Go ahead. - Vat of acid.

Okay, calm down, Heisenberg. - God.

Where are you going?

To the acid store.

Oh, I thought you said there weren't any bad ideas.

That's just something people say.

Of course there's fucking bad ideas.

Guys, guys... Look, I'm looking on Google

and it says feeding the pigs is a tested method in corpse disposal.

- So maybe... - My God, we're so fucked.

Okay, look. This is a big decision.

Let's just take a moment.

Can you ever just make a decision?

I said acid.

Oh, come on. Can you be serious for once in your life?

And what's that supposed to mean, huh?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Do you even own any other clothing?

It's called school spirit.

You don't even go there yet.

How are you so spirited about something you don't even know?

Okay, that's fucking ridiculous.

It's Yale. Everybody knows about Yale.

Okay, I... I think we need to cover her up or something.

Fuck. Yeah, let's use this.

So you guys think that Sue made this quilt, or...

I don't think you can buy a quilt like that.

I mean, it doesn't really help, does it?

- Yeah... - No, it doesn't.

Definitely doesn't.

It's gonna start to smell soon.

- It's just, you know... - Yeah, I know.

What?

I mean, are we sure she's dead?

Considering none of us are doctors, or nurses, or EMTs,

and we chose not to go to the hospital...

Right, because she wasn't breathing.

Because Otis said she wasn't breathing.

What's that supposed to mean?

Why don't you go over there and check her pulse or whatever?

Okay.

Yeah, she's dead.

Should have been a doctor.

Let's not go that far.

Hey, what's wrong?

What's wrong, Otis?

I have to call my dad.

But you can't do that.

- He'll help us. -No, he won't.

Yes, he... What the fuck would you know?

Otis, what are you... Otis! Wh...

- Sorry. It's for your own good. - What are you fucking doing?

-I'm sorry. - This mo...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-Otis, stop playing. - I'm sorry.

Don't hit the dead body.

-Sorry. I'm sorry. - Otis, what the...

It's for your own good.

What the...

Otis!

Please!

Why the fuck would you do that, Otis?

You're making a fear-based decision.

It's my decision. Of course it's fucking fear based.

Once you tell him, you can never un-tell him.

What makes you the authority on father-son relationships?

This has nothing to do with me or my authority.

Just tell me I'm wrong.

Yours if you want to.

Otis, can you please stop doing that?

I told you, it helps me think.

Well, then what have you got for us?

I say we bury her.

After a few hundred ollies,

that's really the best you can come up with?

Occam's razor.

Let's see if we can find a shovel.

You can't seriously be on board with this.

Bingo.

What are you gonna do, build a sandcastle?

You hated my acid idea.

And I don't see any pigs around here,

and I'm pretty sure dismembering is off the table.

You know we don't have to do any of this.

You're the one who said we need to dispose of the body.

That makes us guilty.

We're fucking guilty as is.

Innocent until proven, though.

Are we fucking delusional, Jaden?

Okay.

What's the best case scenario if we call the cops now, truly?

We all get clemency for manslaughter,

if they believe our read ridiculous-sounding,

mind-numbingly stupid story.

And if we don't,

we all go to jail for tampering with evidence,

fleeing a crime scene and murder.

Or we bury this, take the money,

and move on.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the best we got.

Well, isn't that a polite euphemism for "we're fucked"?

Shit.

You know what? You fucking do it.

- Why me? - Because it was your idea.

What about all the bulking?

It's fucking freezing, dude.

We don't all have to be out here.

Fuck you guys.

It's a hard knock life.

Okay.

Shit.

We should probably help him.

Really?

It's probably just as cold in here.

Otis, what you doing?

I'm laying here.

Otis, get up.

Come on, dude. Get up.

Thanks.

Take the fucking shovel, too.

Start digging right there with Cora.

Um...

Do this.

♪ I defend my peace

♪ Trample on my soul

♪ And I'll defend my peace

♪ Gimme my body, gimme my mind

♪ Tremolo my soul

♪ Gimme my body, gimme my mind

♪ Tremolo my soul

♪ Nah ag, soul, nah ah soul

♪ Nah ah, soul, tremolo my soul

♪ Nah ah, soul, nah, soul

♪ Nah ah, tremolo my soul

♪ Nah ah, soul, nah ah, soul

♪ Nah ah, tremolo my soul

♪ Nah ah

♪ It's glowing

♪ Just glowing, yeah

♪ Addicted to the light... ♪

Oh my God.

- What the fuck? - Think the battery's dead.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You know what?

You know what? I got it. I got it.

You guys can thank me

for always being prepared.

Yeah. Don't pull a muscle.

- What? - From sucking yourself off.

Okay, You know what? If it wasn't for me,

we'd all be fucking screwed right now.

Okay, we're still screwed, idiots.

We need two cars to do that.

and as far as I can see, which isn't very far,

that's not happening.

We don't even have a grave.

- We have something. - Wow.

This is taking longer than I thought.

All right. Come on. Let's just try it.

Let's grab her.

Just throw her legs on the far side.

Get her legs on the far side.

That's the for the best.

- Yeah? Okay. -All right.

Three, two, one.

Right. All Right.

It's in there.

- Just kick the dirt on her? - Well, I don't fuck...

-Are you serious? -It's a test.

Kick some.

Get some on his side.

- All right. - All right.

- I think it works. -What?

One drizzle and you can spot her

from fucking Google Earth.

We do not have time for this shit right now.

Well, now what the fuck do we do?

We have to take her back to the house.

Fuck!

It looks so far away.

All right.

Jaden, fucking grab her. Let's go.

-Fuck. -I don't believe this.

Fuck!

Cora, what are you doing?

- Covering our literal tracks. -Smart.

I can't see shit.

Nobody expects you to have night vision, Otis.

You didn't have to leave the fucking car on.

What did you expect us to do, huh?

Dig in the dark?

It's better than fucking walking in the dark.

Your hindsight always seems to be 20-20, doesn't it?

Stop arguing, please.

We're all equally stupid and all equally fucked,

and we're all probably going to jail.

Yeah, with that fucking attitude.

No, it's not about the fucking attitude, Otis.

She's right. We're so royally fucked.

Oh, fuck!

Goddamn it!

-Otis. -Don't fall on top of her!

Otis, what the fuck are you... Otis!

Jesus Christ!

I think I broke something.

We have a dead fucking body.

And you're having fun.

Shut the fuck up, Cora.

Come on, let's go.

Oh, shit.

Shit.

We'll burn the house down.

Yeah.

We'll say she broke in here,

there was a scuffle and the house went up in flames.

Scuffles don't lead to spontaneous combustion.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, then. Um...

We'll say that this got knocked over.

-A candle? - Yeah.

Our entire futures ride

on some fucking cough syrup-scented candle?

I do not think this is a good idea.

It's the best we've got.

Seriously. Like, there'll be no evidence.

And the cops will think that

the cash just burned up in the house.

What about that nice woman? What was her name?

- Sheila? -Sue.

She'll be fine.

And she practically asked to burn the house down, remember?

That is true.

And it's not like the fire will spread.

- There's nothing for miles. - Oh. So we're arsonists now.

It's better than murderers.

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Okay, fine. What do you suppose we do?

I still think we go to the police.

- Are you fucking serious? - Yes.

What about the money?

Who cares about the money, Otis?

- It's a million dollars. - This is our lives.

Lives that would be better with a million dollars.

I don't think it's too late.

I still think we can come up with something.

Aren't you a journalist?

How does this pan out? Seriously.

We'll say that we had no service

and we couldn't get a hold of an ambulance.

Is 911 on any of our phone records?

Did we even try to call on the way over here?

We could just say we're kids, and that we got scared.

Cora, we're 18.

That's real shit. We're adults.

And let's not forget that

someone's probably still looking for that money.

And whoever turns her in,

will be at the top of their list.

Fine. Arson it is.

Arson it is.

And a home invasion.

♪ Fly stuck in my room, buzzing around

♪ Getting on my nerves

♪ Know it, I know it I know it, I know

♪ I know he's gone I know he's gone

♪ Know it, I know it I know it, I know

♪ I know he's gone I know he's gone

♪ Know it, I know it I know it, I know

♪ I know he's gone I know he's gone

♪ Can't see me for another problem

♪ Never let your feelings show... ♪

Fuck me.

-Um, time to go. - Yeah, Yeah.

- Come on, Otis. -Come on.

I'm coming.

Otis, the mo... Come on, Dude.

I'm coming.

-Oh, my... - Otis!

Let me get the money.

- That's it? - I guess so.

Occam's razor.

Did you hear that?

- You gotta be kidding me. - She's alive?

We have to put out the fire. We have to put out the fire.

- Are we sure? - Yes! We can't kill her.

She's gonna burn alive!

She chooses to wake up now?

-Shit. -Where the fuck am I?

- Help us! -I am!

Oh, shit.

Why you tying her up?

She could be dangerous.

Jules, I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Who the hell is Jules? Fuck!

She's gonna suffocate!

Jake. Thank God you're okay.

Mama's here. Mama's right here.

Who the fuck are you talking to, lady?

What the fuck?

Shit! Fuck!

Fuck.

- You guys good? - Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

What the fuck do we do with her now?

Okay. What's our story?

- What? -For when she wakes up.

Hey, did anyone else hear her call me Jake?

I'm sure she was just in shock.

Okay. Why don't we just say that

we found her on the side of the road?

She's not gonna believe that.

If she asks, we don't know anything

about the briefcase or money.

She's not gonna let a million dollars

escape from her that easily.

Well, she kind of already did.

We can't just get rid of it.

That's not what I'm saying.

Fuck.

Hello?

Get over here, you fucking twerps!

Um, yeah. What's up?

A little help here.

Right. Right.

- You're gonna get her? - Yeah. Okay.

You have one minute to explain yourselves

before I brutally murder each and every one of you.

It seems like we're really the ones

in the position of power here.

Ah, the tough one. I will rip your throat out first.

I'm only gonna ask nicely one more time.

Where the fuck am I?

So we actually just found you on the side of the road.

- Bullshit! - It's true.

Oh, really? That's why I'm covered in wet dirt?

You idiots tried to bury me alive, didn't you?

And then what? Burn me alive?

That's ridiculous.

What's ridiculous is the amount of pain and suffering

you are all in for.

Lady, we're just trying to help you.

Oh, that's why I am tied up

in what looks like your granny's quilt?

I mean, you said you'd fucking kill us.

I think you need to check your chronology.

Do you understand how time works?

Wait, wait, wait.

What... What time is it?

It's like almost 11:00.

No, no, no.

No fucking way.

Where's my car?

We didn't see it.

I need to get to my car now.

That's not happening.

No. Please, please, please. You don't understand.

What don't we understand?

What's so funny?

I'm fucking dead!

Oh. I'm fucking dead!

That is what we thought.

No.

They will kill me and you and you and you

and everyone you love or hate

or really anyone you know.

Well, who is they?

You need to let me go now.

It is not too late for me to maybe get out of here

before they find us.

Seriously, who is they?

- Where's the briefcase? -Wait, what?

My briefcase.

We don't know what you're talking about.

- It's right there. - Jaden!

Okay, untie me,

give me the money and maybe you'll live.

Just probably just gonna kill us right on the spot.

It's a good thing my parents forced me to take Krav Maga

to get my driver's license,

Not sure how those two things are related,

but you're just gonna have to rely on my mercy here.

You're relying on our mercy, the last time I checked,

because you never know who you'll encounter

alone at night on the road.

Or who you'll hit.

Okay, we didn't hit you.

- Okay, we hit you. - Jaden!

She says she's gonna kill us.

Who is looking for you?

You seem smart enough to deduce whoever it is,

you don't want to know.

Does that explain why you're in the middle of the road

with a briefcase full of a million dollars?

I don't have to explain myself to you.

Fine. Then I guess we're at a standstill.

I'm not fucking Mother Goose here!

Fine.

Earlier today,

I was supposed to drop that briefcase in the copse.

- Copse? - Yeah. Copse.

- Group of trees. - Like a thicket?

-No a copse. - Like a grove?

- No, a fucking copse. - Or a forest?

- Too small to be a forest. - It's too small to be a copse.

What are you, a group of fucking teenage arborists?

It's a group of goddamn trees by the goddamn road.

It was a routine drop.

Nothing out of the ordinary, at least not for Jules.

Jules has been my partner for the last few years.

We had gotten close. As close as she would allow.

Any plans this weekend?

No.

Come on. Nothing?

We're going to be late.

Now you ask me.

Ask you what?

Ask me if I have any fun plans this weekend.

Do you have any fun plans this weekend?

I do.

Jake and I are going on a trip.

Just the two of us.

Where to?

Wherever he wants.

Your whole life revolves around that kid.

You know, if only he knew what you did for him.

I'm honestly surprised she didn't see it coming,

us working so closely

must've clouded her judgment.

The plan was simple.

Until it got complicated.

I understand the script.

But this is ridiculous.

Good place to disappear.

Wouldn't you ever?

- What, disappear? - Yeah.

You're practically invisible anyways.

I mean get out of it.

This is all of it...

For me. I just...

Not having to report, spend time with your family.

We're spending time together now.

Right? Aren't we?

Don't get emotional.

It's never too late.

I didn't say that's why.

Why not?

Well, look at you.

Your life is centered around some kid

who you have to lie to every day of your life.

- I don't lie to him. - That's a lie.

That's a fucking lie.

I don't lie to anybody.

I live an honest life.

Says the woman holding, what,

a million dollars' worth of blood money?

We don't know it's blood money.

Besides, it has zero effect on me.

And now you're just lying to yourself.

Well, when did you become so sanctimonious?

I'm just saying, we all have our justification.

And what are yours?

I'm waiting.

What the fuck are you doing?

Drop the case.

- Don't be stupid. - Don't think you're being smart.

Hand it over.

You know I can't do that.

Yes you can.

I'm serious.

Drop the case

and back away.

They'll fucking kill you.

Give me an hour and then you can call it in.

You really think an hour head start

- is gonna save you? - It's the best that I've got.

They'll find you and Jake.

Not if you help,

Come with us.

Why the fuck would I do that?

You said it yourself. A family.

That's the most truthful thing you've ever said.

It seems like all you ever really do

is lie to your family.

♪ Is it me

♪ Or is the moonlight shining brighter

♪ Than it usually does

♪ Is it me

♪ Or is tonight

♪ The most amazing night that there ever was?

♪ Can you see the stars are sparkling

♪ As if they're on fire

♪ Reflecting

♪ My heart's desire

♪ Is it me

♪ Or have you given me a miracle

♪ With one simple kiss?

♪ Can you see

♪ The way you fill my heart with magic

♪ When you're near me like this?

♪ In this life

♪ Do you believe in one true love

♪ That's meant to be?

♪ Who is the one for you?

♪ Is it me? ♪

We have to send texts, simultaneously,

at a predetermined time to establish a successful drop.

With that finished, I gave myself exactly enough time

to grab my son and vanish.

I mean, Otis. Otis!

Ow! Okay. Okay. Okay. All right!

That is until you idiots swerved into me.

Look out!

- Yeah, right. -That's pretty good.

- That's pretty good. -Almost believed it for a second.

It's the truth.

I mean, come on, two super assassins

and you've both gone rogue, like, this is looking crazy.

Trust me. It will only get crazier.

I had it timed perfectly.

Which means Jules is probably hunting me down right now.

Which means, she's hunting you down, too.

So why didn't you kill her?

-What? - You said you choked her out.

You could have killed her.

I meant what I said.

Okay? She's... She's like family.

A little lost, but I thought she'd find her way.

Is this all on the record?

- What? - Sorry, force of habit.

She's studying to be a journalism major.

At the almost top school in the country.

- It's an Ivy. - Okay, in theory.

What in the actual fuck is wrong with you kids?

Did you even look at the briefcase?

There are bullet holes all over it.

She's crazy.

I think she may be right.

Okay, that's just probably from the car.

- What do I get by lying? - A million dollars.

It's my money.

Well, according to you, you stole the money,

so it's kind of as much ours as yours.

Oh, my God. Fucking millennials. - JADEN: Gen Z, actually...

I don't care.

All of you snowflakes are the same.

Every snowflake is actually different, but...

Oh, my God, you kids really don't get how dead we actually are.

How is she gonna even gonna find us, like,

- we threw out your phone. - You ditched my phone?

Yeah. We didn't want anyone tracking you.

Kept ringing nonstop, too.

How many times did it ring?

It rang, like, three...

You have to let me go!

There is not a shred of doubt that they will find us.

- And when they do... - Okay, um, hey, guys, can I talk to you for a sec?

- Just, quickly, come on... -We don't time for that!

Go, go, go, go, go! We'll be right back.

Stupid little kids!

I mean, do you guys believe her?

If you ignore how crazy it all sounds, it kind of makes sense.

I mean, to have a million dollars in a briefcase,

it kinda has to have a crazy explanation.

I don't even believe that this Jules person exists.

I don't even think she has a son.

Okay, well, she could be making it all up, and we set her free, and...

-We're done. - Essentially, yes.

Alright. I say we call AAA,

get the car fixed, take the cash and run.

Okay, run where, Otis?

We can give her back her fucking money and hope she leaves us alone.

I agree with Jaden here.

How do you know she's gonna do that?

- 'Cause I know. - Oh, you fucking know everything, don't you?

Okay, that's not true.

Yo, just because you're majoring in economics at some school in New Haven

doesn't mean you got your life figured out.

Okay, at least I'm not an undecided, aimless little kid.

And I understand the market.

- I'm a pretty good investor. - You know, fuck you, Wall Street bets.

Why don't you go take your GameStop and Dogecoin and shove it up our ass.

I sold that shit a long time ago, back when it was on the moon.

-Jaden! - Fuck you! You really are that dense.

Okay.

Okay.

Fuck!

Fuck!

You should go talk to him.

He doesn't want that.

How do you know that?

I mean, I've known him almost my whole life since we were, like, five.

He's not five anymore, and neither are you.

I don't know.

He won't admit it, but he needs you. - No, he doesn't.

Come on, think about it.

Okay, fine, fine.

Are they always like this?

What's your name?

What does it matter to you?

You know my name.

Look, you can make up a name for all I care.

I'm Cora.

Cora.

Nice to meet you, Cora.

So you didn't get in where you wanted, huh?

I got into Cornell. It's an Ivy.

Yeah, I'm aware.

I mean, Northwestern was the dream.

Their journalism school is life changing.

I'm pretty sure changing your life isn't contingent on the school you go to.

You don't get it, do you?

I get that you're overcompensating for insecurity

about falling into your own constructive trappings.

I get that you're trying to break free of a mold, when in reality

you're crystallizing it further every day.

I get that you think you know everything

about how the world should be and people ought to be.

But in reality, you don't even know who you should be.

And I'm supposed to take advice from a low class criminal wrapped up in a quilt.

First of all, high class.

Second of all, not advice, just experience.

Look, if it helps any, I...

I always wanted my son to go to an Ivy.

There's just something irrevocably special about it.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I am...

I was excited.

I'm sure you'll still get there.

Yeah, if I don't go to jail or get shot or whatever.

You seem pretty competent.

Thank you.

Takes one to know one.

So, what do you like to write about?

- It doesn't matter. - 'Course it matters.

You know, no one ever asked me that.

Why not?

I don't think they want to read it,

- to be honest. - That's ridiculous.

I'm sure a lot of people support you and want to hear what you have to say.

Thanks, but it feels like hollow support, if any.

No one is that concerned what an 18-year-old reporter can dig up.

Well, maybe I can help you with that.

What do you mean?

- I have stories. - And why would you do that?

Well, I'm either disappearing or dead,

so someone should...

do something with them.

Okay.

Do you always carry that with you?

You never know when you're gonna need it.

Otis.

-Go away. - Come on, Otis.

Look, I'm sure it will work out for you.

It always does.

We need your help.

I need your help.

Will you just leave me alone?

You're my best friend.

People still have best friends?

I do personally, yes.

Listen, um...

I know you want the money, okay,

but it's not worth it.

It's a million dollars.

Three-way split, that's 300K. - That's nothing.

If Maya doesn't kill us, the people that she works for will.

So you believe her?

I mean, what other choice do we have?

We're not gonna kill her. And it's not like we need the money.

You don't need the money.

Listen, it doesn't matter where your family home is.

When you're in college, no one cares where you live.

- You wouldn't get it. - I do.

I do. Which is why I don't understand

why you're making such a big deal about it.

Because it is a big deal.

No one gives a shit about how you enrolled in school.

Elementary school, middle school, high school,

Everything I've done is all predicated on a lie.

Now you're just being ridiculous. - But I can't stop doing it.

I'm just a liar.

- Plain and simple. - Okay. Don't be so reductive.

Everybody lies.

Like, calm down. Fuck, we even lied, saying you lived in our house.

Just because, you know, your dad died,

doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to go to certain school.

Listen, Otis...

Like it or not, you're my best friend.

Forever.

What about all the cool people at New Haven?

They got nothing on you.

That's nice.

You've got tons of friends.

I'm the one with only two.

Same here.

- Only have two I love. - Yeah, sure thing, prom king.

Okay, we don't even have a prom king. - Whatever.

Seriously.

Those people, they don't actually like me.

They like the idea of me.

My, um...

My car really isn't here, huh?

No.

We drove you.

Yeah.

Ah, can you, um...

Can you go in my wallet for a sec?

There's a... There's a little piece of paper in there.

Hi, baby.

Your son did this?

Yeah. Jakey.

Okay. Now, if you need a snack, there's snacks in the bag,

there's water, okay? But do not open the trunk.

No matter what you do, do not open the trunk. You got it?

Now, if for some reason I don't come back, I am coming back,

but if for any reason I don't, you go to the address in this envelope.

Now, repeat it back to me.

I'm gonna open the trunk and go to this address.

You got it.

You're so smart. Now, if I'm not back by 8:00

you call my number.

It's programmed in there, but don't call anybody else and do not pick up the phone

if it rings.

You ready?

Don't leave me.

Baby, it's okay. I promise you I am coming back.

Okay? I swear.

I love you so much.

We're going... We're going on our trip, okay?

I love you.

Is he waiting for you?

Yeah.

He's probably still calling me petrified.

If Jules hasn't gotten to him yet.

I'm sure he's okay.

I will be right back.

Okay. What kind of passive aggressive bullshit is this?

I really need the Otis and Jaden soap opera to come to a quick finale here, please.

I think she's telling the truth.

- What makes you so sure? - I'm a journalist.

You took one high school communications class.

That's one more than you.

Okay, so if she is telling the truth, then we're being hunted?

Yeah, we're running out of time.

Or that's what she wants us to think,

and we make a rash decision, and we die.

Or we stay here and we die.

All right, so is there an option where we don't die?

- I'm gonna let her go. - On what authority?

She was honest with me.

What is this? Playground justice?

Her kid is in the goddamn trunk on the side of the road.

What's the most made up story I've ever heard?

She was gonna escape with him.

Why isn't that the first thing she asked then?

"Is my kid here?" "Oh, yeah, he's in the trunk with the milk and eggs."

She didn't know if we had her car or not.

And it was all in effort to protect him.

-Some effort that was. -Okay, I think it's a vote.

Fine. Sure. Yeah.

All in favor of Maya's release.

Jaden?

Dude, what the fuck?

Okay, you don't even have a decision.

- I was thinking. - So classic, always undecided.

Well, fuck you.

Those not in favor.

You don't have to be a contrarian all the time.

You don't have to be a bitch all the time.

Cora...

What did you do? Why would you fucking...

Cora...

Cora? Cora, he didn't mean it.

Cora, wait up, come on.

Cora, I'm sorry.

- What are you doing? - We voted.

- Come on. - Back the fuck off.

Yeah, back the fuck off, man.

We don't have a car to get away.

We let her go. And what? She kills us and takes the money?

-I'm not gonna kill you. - Cora, Stop!

Sorry, I can't hear you. Too busy being a constant bitch.

I'm sorry.

Leave me alone.

Come on. This is the worst idea ever.

I know Krav Maga. We're fine.

She knows Krav Maga. It's fine.

Okay, guys, maybe we just argue without the bread knife.

You're just an immature,

little indecisive piece of shit with enough sexual tension

to film an entire fucking season of Downton Abbey.

You're just an overconfident, self-absorbed asshole that says

stupid little shit like, "This pen is mightier than the sword."

- It is! - Not your fucking pen.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

It's not just me. Northwestern thought so, too.

I'm going to Cornell. It's an Ivy.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

And I'm sorry, where did you get in?

You know, I'd be surprised if you got in anywhere.

No waitlist takes this long.

Are you calling me a liar?

- I didn't say it. - Give me the knife.

Can we keep cutting, please?

Just think about what happens if we let her go without a plan.

If she is as skilled as she says she is... - MAYA: I am.

...no car, or nothing, we're fucked,

after school Krav Maga or not.

Look, he's not wrong, Cora.

Maybe we just, you know, take a moment.

No, we are not taking a moment.

We are playing with fire here, and look how that turned out.

I need a minute.

Go, Big Red.

- Are you fucking... -Cora, Cora!

Cora!

You know what, guys? I'm done here.

See you later. I'm out.

Come back!

Otis, what the fuck? Go, dude, just go. - OTIS: What?

Can you keep cutting, please?

You can keep cutting.

Are you... Are you fucking kidding me?

♪ Knocking on your door, baby, just say something

♪ Quiet in your eyes but the storm keeps coming

♪ I don't wanna go but the midnight's calling

♪ I don't wanna go shadow getting close

♪ Dying for a piece but you can't get nothing

♪ Got everything you need but you can't stop running

♪ I don't wanna go but the half-life's falling

♪ I don't wanna go lay my body low... ♪

Would you please just quit it?

Fucking quit it, okay?

You know...

You will single handedly kill all of your friends, right?

Aren't you a little old for skateboard tricks anyway?

Oh my God, how old are you?

Will you just shut up?

Aw...

Did the whittle boy fall down?

Are you okay der?

Baby...

Oh my God! Stop! Just fucking stop already!

You want me to put the sheet back over your head?

Stop, stop, stop!

Stop!

You guys want to hear a crazy thought? - Go for it.

This is all true.

I might die without having kissed anyone.

You might not even be as straight as you thought.

I always thought I might be bi.

But I'm starting to think I actually could be asexual.

But, um, aren't those exact opposites?

How do you even know that?

It speaks for itself.

Maybe you're just a late bloomer.

Fucking agave ocahui.

What?

It's a cactus that blooms once every 100 years.

Isn't agave a succulent?

Yeah, sure.

Well, considering we all might die,

I guess you can kiss me.

Wait, what?

Let's just figure it out.

- Asexual or not. - I'm not a fucking experiment.

No, that's not it. I'm trying to help you.

You can kiss me, too.

What is going on?

It's not that big of a deal.

How are you gonna know?

- This is weird. - It's only weird if you make it.

You guys are my friends.

Exactly. One kiss and we move on.

Don't you wanna know who you are?

Yeah, organically.

Okay, but everyone's first kiss is weird.

I mean, yeah, but look at this.

What are you doing?

How was that?

Truthfully?

I didn't feel much.

It is all on the line and you're fucking Frenching in the corner?

Give us a second.

You do realize we are in critical danger here, right?

Well...

Maybe you're gay.

I'm not gonna kiss you.

You kissed Cora.

I've known you since we were, like, five.

Otis, it's not a big deal.

It's not.

And there you go.

Nope.

Damn, that's, uh...

Guess you are asexual.

I mean, this isn't the best sample size, but thank you.

I cannot believe I'm being held hostage

by a group of horny fucking teenagers.

Hey, I may not be that horny after all.

So, what are we going to do?

I say we think on it for a second.

Oh, yeah.

Hello? Jake?

Jake, it's your mom's friend Jules.

Where are you?

Jake.

What are you doing?

- I'm making a decision. - That's not yours.

It's not yours, either.

If you don't return it in full, your friends don't have a chance.

I need this chance.

They really care about you, you know.

That is, uh... Hard to find.

Yeah, sure.

I hope Jake finds friends like that someday.

You remind me of him.

If you do this, you are on your own.

- I've been on my own. - Not from what I can see.

Otis, this isn't gonna end well.

Stop with the advice.

You are not my mom.

Well, if she were here, I think I know what she'd say.

Oh, yeah and what is that?

Otis, don't steal the money!

Stop! What the fuck are you doing?

- Man, what's going on, man? - Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

You're stealing the money?

- Just my share! -It's not yours.

-That's what I said. - Okay, shut up.

Well, if it weren't for me, he'd be out that door.

Otis, give it back.

Guys, just come on, let's move. Move! - No. No!

God damn it! I didn't want it to be like this!

Where the fuck did you get that?

Another thing he stole.

All right.

Okay. All right. Just put it down, Otis.

This isn't you.

Maybe it is me.

How the fuck would you know?

I know.

You think you know everything, don't you?

You don't know anything about me.

None of you do.

I've tried to explain and explain and explain

that I need this money.

But I can't be any more fucking clear!

- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.

I really fucking do!

We'll be fine without it, okay?

Is this really worth it?

You're not gonna shoot us.

Not if you guys just move.

I know you're not gonna do it.

You don't know anything.

This isn't funny, Otis.

I'm not trying to be funny.

They always say,

"Look at them.

"Look at Jaden. Look at Cora.

"They're going places."

And you guys are.

I believe it.

But I'm stuck here.

Going nowhere.

But with this...

I can go somewhere.

Be something just like you guys.

Otis, we're not something, we're the same.

Yes, you are!

And for the last fucking time,

no, we are not!

I don't need your pity.

All I need is this money.

You are and you can be something without it.

I can't, and I'm not.

This is my money!

So don't pretend like you understand.

You can't even comprehend the minutia of what it's like to be me!

I do know, Otis!

I do!

Everybody expects me to be perfect.

There is no room for error.

You don't know what it's like to have a dad that's so obsessed

with a legacy that no matter what you do, you can never give it to him.

You're right.

I don't.

Because mine is dead.

Well, I wish mine was.

Don't fucking say that!

You don't know how lucky you are!

Otis, all I'm saying

is I would kill to be you.

To just be able to be you with no precepts.

No precepts?

I have more constrictions than anybody else here!

Are we talking literally here?

Shut the fuck up!

Look, we all have problems, but we deal with them.

Let's not be small people here.

Small?

Look who's small now!

You guys will just never get it.

How about this?

I have no money to go to college, no scholarship,

and I have to stay here and go to community college,

if I can even find the time when I'm not working,

because I'm helping my mom pay the goddamn rent,

even though I got off the fucking USC waitlist!

You got off the...

Otis, Oh, my God, that's amazing!

- That's... - When did that happen?

On the way here before we met Maya.

Met is a nice way of putting it.

We'll figure out a way for you to go.

Says the person with a gratuitous full ride.

This is the only way.

This is my way.

Now, please dude, just move.

That money isn't clean.

Whatever, money's fucking dirty, I'll Purell it later.

You think you can just walk into an enrolment office with a bag full of cash?

Even USC won't take that.

You need someone to launder it.

But more importantly,

you need someone who knows someone

who can launder it.

And that's you?

I didn't get into Yale.

-What? -You're going next week.

My dad donated a fucking marine life center or some shit.

He didn't even tell me until last month.

No fucking way.

You're lying.

You're valedictorian.

You could, like, throw a javelin really far!

I mean, dude, you're Jaden!

Besides, everyone knows you got a full ride.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought, too.

But the truth is, someone like him

isn't just going to let his kid

throw away his future.

No matter the cost.

-Why didn't you tell us? - Because I'm embarrassed.

I thought I earned it.

-You did. - No. No.

I really didn't.

I just can't believe it.

Believe it or not, I'm here for you.

We're here for you.

Always.

Let me just take this from you, okay, Otis?

Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Next time, you might wanna take the safety off.

Otis. Otis.

Otis! Otis!

Don't fucking go, man.

Well, we'll say, uh,

good thing about that safety.

He never would've shot you guys.

How do you know that?

I've stared down many a barrel.

He loves you guys.

Yeah.

So is it time to untie me?

You never told me why you decided to quit.

It's stupid.

That's the whole reason we're here.

Career day.

What?

I had to stand up there

in front of my kid and, um,

all his friends and lie.

And I swore to myself

never again

Next time, I would have something real.

What's that for?

You know, just in case she tries to kill us.

Babe, you're not Indiana Jones.

Yeah.

Right. Right. Um...

Thanks for the honesty, um...

If you want something useful, grab the fire poker.

Okay.

I... I was kidding about the fire poker. I'm...

Car! Car! Car!

Guys, car! Car!

- Any day now. - I'm trying.

Gosh, Otis work at UPS in a past life or something? - OTIS: Jaden! Cora!

There's a car! Car! Car! Car!

- She's here! -Jules?

Help her! Hurry!

Fuck! Come on!

Oh, shit!

- Go! - Go? Right!

Fuck!

What did you promise these kids?

Some lunch money?

It seems a little unethical for someone like you.

Or I guess, right on brand.

Didn't expect a breadcrumb like this, though!

- Fucking idiot! - I'm sorry!

- I'm sorry! I didn't know. - Hell, it's the whole loaf.

Jaden, what are you doing?

Jaden, no! No! Absolutely not!

Fucking family?

- Fuck you! -I should have fucking killed you!

- Fuck you! - Fuck...

Oh, shit.

What are you gonna do?

No! No!

Maya!

Oh, shit!

What the fuck?

Oh, shit!

I need Jake. I need... I need...

Oh, shit!

I need Jake.

Maya...

Nice trick...

Jake... Jake is in the trunk.

He's coming.

Hey, come on.

Oh, shit... Oh, shit!

Where's Jake?

Yeah...

- Hi, baby. - Mom!

Hi, baby.

Hi.

Mama's here.

I got you. Mama's right here.

Hi, baby. I got you.

Where's the envelope?

Take this...

You can clean the money...

And take care of Jake.

Just...

Just promise me...

Promise me you'll split the money with him. - Yeah.

I'm so sorry I lied to you, baby.

- It's okay. Just don't go. - Oh...

I love you so much.

♪ You and I just like

♪ Oil and water

♪ And I just can't shake it off ♪

- Hey, guys. - Yeah?

We can talk about dorm lotteries or whatever now.

That won't be weird.

This is already weird.

After all this, and all you can talk about are dorm lotteries.

Well, I thought you'd appreciate the foresight.

I believe we've learned the dangers of foresight,

Also, I think I'm asexual.

Don't feel pressure to label yourself for us.

But I am glad that it only took kissing your two best friends to realize that.

And a couple of mobsters.

- And some arson. - And some arson.

Lots of arson.

Who are you calling?

911.

So you finally came around to that, too.

We need to take Jake to that woman who can clean the money.

All right.

Let's vote on it.

All in favor?

Finally, we can agree on something for once.

Cock a doodle fucking doodle.

So, uh...

Where to?

Paris, Texas.

Well, I'm not navigating this time.

Probably for the best.

It says it's east.

Yeah, no shit.

Well, you're going west.

Right.

Just to be clear, we aren't kidnapping this kid, right?

Of course not.

I mean, we're rescuing him.

I know.

We're just developing quite the rap sheet.

Yeah, and they don't even count as extracurriculars.

♪ I know I don't know much

♪ I'm going places

♪ I'm going places

♪ Would you come with me?

♪ Could you come with me?

♪ Would you come with me?

♪ Could you come with me?

♪ Isn't it nice just to have it all?

♪ Roll in the dust like we'll never fall

♪ I'm going places

♪ But I'm going nowhere if not with you

♪ I'm going places

♪ But I'm already somewhere if I'm with you

♪ I know I don't much

♪ But one thing I know

♪ I'm going places

♪ I'm going places

♪ Would you come with me?

♪ Could you come with me?

♪ Would you come with me?

♪ Could you come with me? ♪