Original subtitles

You have to like I'm not in pain.

There's a whole towel of paper in there. Hi, Mom. What?

We thought you was dead.

Principal Matthews said Rebecca told Zuri her grandmother died. I'm going to

kill her. I have a better way to punish her. There's just so much to be done

around the house. Y 'all don't have to lift a finger.

Your mama ain't gone. Oh, I knew.

Tell them what they won. You both won yourselves a three -night stay in your

bedroom with Grandma.

Rub up a little high.

Oh, that feels good.

Okay.

Mother, may I?

May I see your face?

Mother, may I?

Can you show me some grace?

Where you been?

Where's your heart at? Where you been?

Where's my mom at?

I'm all alone.

You don't even call me on the phone.

I got it right.

I'm all alone, and I don't even know when you're coming home.

That's good.

Oh, that's not too long.

My mom, I think you heard that wrong.

I was like... I'm all alone with my money, and on my side, I got this fine

little honey.

Oh, are you sure?

Because it sounded like you said mother a couple of times.

You're hearing things, my dude.

Hey, is that your diary?

What, this?

Nah, this is my big book of rhyme.

Because it's a diary on the front.

You know what?

I'm tired.

Maybe I should get some sleep.

It's fine if you have a diary.

I know it's fine.

But I don't. So that's fine, too.

Good night.

It's like 6 .30.

Oh.

Wow. That late already?

We should probably hit it. Sleep is so important.

Okay, but...

Sleeping. It's just that rap was pretty good.

You should get it done in your diet.

Your big book rhymes.

That Mother May I part was... Oh, you like that?

Yeah.

Well, Mother May I go to sleep, please.

All right.

And besides, if I was rapping about my mom, I'll be rapping about going

platinum, so when she comes back... I could buy her a big mansion.

Maybe a binge.

Oh, okay.

Because she's not gone forever.

I won't even be here much longer.

Oh.

But don't trip when I'm gone, little dude. You're just going to have to get

without me.

Okay.

Boys, dinner.

I'm going to go eat dinner.

You're going to go to...

Sleep? Yeah.

I'm gonna fall out. Hit the pillow.

Was that obvious?

Come on, baby, it's Saturday.

Let's go back to sleep.

Or go to the desk.

Miles, you know I just got that big project that worked.

And I have a lot to do, and I'm running out of time before the kids wake up for

breakfast. Ooh, breakfast, yes, you should make pancakes.

Or? Or waffles.

Or you can make breakfast.

Well, yeah, I'm liking that less.

And then maybe you can keep going and clean up afterwards.

Ooh.

And then maybe you can take care of the kids and everything for the rest of the

day while I work. That sounds interesting. I'm not sure I'm on board.

And?

And there's more.

And I know you've been wanting to go to the game with the guys.

And my boss.

Mrs. Whitaker happened to give me her ticket to the game tomorrow.

So you want pancakes and waffles or... You like yours with maple syrup?

But I'm serious.

I'll take care of everything tomorrow if you take care of everything today.

Oh, I will.

I will handle it all.

Dad of the house.

I'm on top of it. I'm so on top of it, I'm going to need a ladder to get down.

Great. Thank you.

Got it, baby.

Yeah. The directions are on the side of the box.

Love you.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, hey.

Dad's doing breakfast this morning. Let's go.

What's wrong with Mom?

What? Nothing.

Something has to be wrong.

Last time you cooked, we all got sick.

you can't get food poisoning from pancakes.

I don't think.

Hmm.

Doesn't matter.

Kinda does.

I'm kidding.

Hey, what are you reading?

Dylan wrote a rap about his mom. I think he misses her.

Hmm. Really? Let me see that.

Charlie, this is Dylan's diary.

He says it was his big book of rhymes.

Well, it says... Diary right there.

That's what I said!

Charlie, you can't be reading someone else's diary, all right?

Snooping through stuff like that, it's an invasion of privacy.

Sorry. Where's Dylan anyway?

He's taking a shower.

Oh, okay, good. Well, come on, let's go downstairs and, you know, go wash some

eggs or something.

sneaking up on people.

Nothing.

Well, I should have. Don't do it.

Hey, isn't that Dylan's diary?

Hmm? That book.

Isn't it Dylan's diary?

Yes.

Why aren't you respecting each other's privacy?

Well, yeah, it's important, okay? Stooping is wrong.

You shouldn't be putting your nose in other people's business.

What's so funny?

Oh, what you just said about not putting your nose in other people's business.

Why's that funny?

I caught you reading my diary last week.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's different.

How?

I only read the first page.

Yeah, because I caught you.

Well, if you would just mind your own business and stop worrying about what

doing all the dang time.

about. Yo, is that my diary?

No.

Yes.

Yes.

What are you doing with my stuff?

Charlie gave it to me.

Wow. Way to throw me under the bus, Dad.

I heard you wrote a rap about your mom, and, you know, you haven't talked about

her much since you got here, so I was a little worried. She's always gone. It's

none of your business. How would you feel if I went through your diary?

I don't have a diary.

Yeah, right.

Look, Dylan, there's no privacy in this house. Just get over it.

Excuse me?

I'm just saying it's not going to change, so just deal with it.

I hadn't spots all I'm saying.

Rebecca?

What? All I could find was those old magazines you keep in the garage.

Say what?

Oh, yeah, I've seen those.

They were kind of weird. I didn't open them.

Charlie, what are you talking about?

Stompin' Peppa and Lil' Kim.

Those are hip -hop magazines.

So you're reading for the rap?

Okay, stop, stop, enough.

Apparently, we need to have a meeting on family privacy.

Okay, Mom.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Look, we don't need Mom for this. Okay,

I can handle it.

What's wrong with Mom?

You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean something's wrong with your

mom.

Is she sick?

Did you cook for her?

Continue. Well, I couldn't find your diary, but I found Rebecca's. What?

Give me that, you little ripples.

If I can't have privacy, no one will. Okay, okay.

Okay, stop, stop, stop.

Okay,

let's get this started.

You got your mama's dress.

Here, diary.

I found my first pencil today.

Should I go get... Don't need your mom.

Told you I could handle it.

Don't you see me handling this?

First, first, everything is fine. Things are great.

Oh, Lord.

I'm coming. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want you to just have a free day so

that you can focus and take care of everything.

No, what you want is tomorrow off so that you can go to the game with the

Yeah, that too.

Listen, so, yeah, yeah.

Charlie brought me one of Dylan's raps about his mom.

And I think it's really bothering him.

What did it say?

It was, check it, check it, young Dylan.

Baby, baby, baby, don't. Just tell me.

Oh, sorry. My bad.

Well, I think he, I just think he really misses her and he feels like she

abandoned him.

Well, it's good that he's expressing it in his music.

Oh, okay, good.

But... Yeah, I mean, but... It would be better if you talked to him about it.

Tell him the truth.

That his mom ran off with some guy?

No!

Tell him that his mother loves him and that he's loved by us, Grandma, Rebecca,

and Charlie. Yeah, but, I mean, what if he... You know, I wonder if the girls

are going to take me to the game tomorrow, since you're not going to let

any work done. No, I'm going. I'm going. I'm going.

I love you. Love you.

Now leave.

Yep. Got it.

Okay.

One more thing.

Oh, my gosh. Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind.

Don't read your brother's diary, okay?

Wait, why is your diary full of pictures of robots?

It's complicated.

Okay, we're going to talk about that later.

Rebecca, get down here. Come here, come here.

Look, stop reading your brother's diary.

Stop reading your sister's diary, okay?

Robot boy?

You both did something wrong, okay?

Luckily for you, the rules of parenting say that both those wrongs cancel each

other out.

I need you to apologize. No way!

Dad!

Apologize.

Apologize! I'm sorry. Sorry.

Look, I need to go talk to Dylan, all right?

Why don't you two go find something to do outside, please?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Leave the phones.

Thank you.

Two down.

One to go.

Go away, Charlie.

It's me.

Well, I would tell you to go away, but you just come in anyway.

Okay.

I deserve that.

Facts.

But actually, look, I didn't come to fight.

I came to make it up to you.

Are you going to unread my diary?

Yeah. Can't do that.

No, you can't.

Maybe this is the next best thing.

I was hoping that would go a little better.

What is that?

Is that a diary?

Man, I knew you had a diary.

It's a journal.

That's funny, because it says diary right there.

Well, it's a journal.

What's the difference?

Well, the difference is...

Diary has four, five letters.

You know what? Actually, I don't know.

Okay? It doesn't matter.

Look, Dylan.

All I know is this is full of personal moments and embarrassing stories that I

would never, ever, ever, ever want anyone else to read.

Yeah, exactly.

Here you go.

What?

Yeah, I read yours, so...

You can read mine.

Wait. What?

Whoa.

Wait.

Is this you in college?

Yeah, I regret this immediately.

All right. Look at that hair.

What?

You kind of pulled it off.

You got some rap in here?

Oh, those aren't raps. They're poems.

On Sundays, I sungies.

In cat sunries.

I'm in the Sundays.

That's pretty dope.

You like my poem?

Uncle M, this isn't no poem.

That's a rap right there.

You think I can use that Sunday Sundays thing?

For real?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Knock yourself out.

Dylan, I mostly wanted to tell you that I'm not going to be going through your

stuff anymore.

I'm sorry.

Good. Thank you.

You also need to know that you can come to me.

Or your Aunt Yasmin. And, you know, if there's ever anything you want to talk

about.

You don't got to worry about me.

Well, Dylan, you're part of this family now.

So we do worry about you. It's part of the deal.

Look, my mom's coming back.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes, I know she is.

And we're not trying to replace her. We just want to give you a bridge to get by

until she does.

Dylan, we're all here for you, okay?

Mm -hmm.

Me, your Aunt Yasmin, Charlie, Rebecca.

Sorry.

Yeah. Gotta remember to talk to her about that.

We're good?

We're good.

So would you say I handled this situation?

You did, I.

Great.

Now I gotta go tell your auntie you said that.

No, I didn't pay for them.

Who do you think I'm going to get that kind of money?

I cut a deal with Yasmin.

Yasmin said that she'll take care of the kids tomorrow, and I'll take care of

everything today.

And today, my friend, is almost up.

Dad!

Dad!

Rebecca tried to throw Porky in the toilet again!

Hold on a sec.

Kids, come here. Come here.

I will give you each $10 if you will postpone this argument till tomorrow.

Make it $20 each and you got yourself a deal.

You are your mother's child.

Thank you.