Original subtitles

It's ridiculous.

Yeah, what's ridiculous is that you lost again.

Yeah, but it's tiny. I can't fight in that. Yeah, you can't fight anyway.

the point.

Well, I'm not doing it. It's stupid.

You've got to learn to fight in a confined space if you want to be a

not a boxer. I'm a fighter.

A fighter who hits people with his face.

Now, you've got to learn footwork, yeah?

Speed is everything.

Yeah, you're going to teach me about speed.

That's a joke. Just pop down Melvins.

He's got some rope at the back since his beer garden collapsed. It'll finish his

ring off nice.

It's embarrassing.

Hey, come on, boy.

We all want to be proud of you.

But you're going to lose, eh?

Fine. I don't want anyone knowing.

I'll stick the kettle on.

Hiya. Hiya.

What are you up to?

That. Ah, that.

Can I do it with you?

No. Oh, come on, Bob. You've been blowing me off all week.

Look, I've got a crack on.

Crack on?

Are you with somebody?

No, of course not.

I've got an idea.

Let's have a romantic date.

Really?

Yeah, absolutely.

I love you.

Look, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later.

Bob?

You won't believe this.

Billy says Mad Malcolm's won the darts league. But because he's on a tag, he

can't go to the annual doer. So Melvin's going to present him with a cup on

FaceTime.

Oh, he's classy like that, is our Melvin.

Hey, am I talking to myself here?

Die?

Die?

Hey, you're in shock now.

I don't know what to do.

Yeah, well, you can't stay here.

I've got a lot on today.

Hey, come on now.

Let's get you down to death, eh? Tell you what, I'll give John the boxer ring.

Well, one of us has got to be tactical.

We can't all fall apart, yeah?

Easy how you break it to him, Flynn.

John, clean Tucker, yeah?

Dye up and down his brown bread.

Come and bag him up before he gets too stiff, will you?

Oh, no!

It was open.

Oh, Harry.

In here, you. A mile away.

Christ, well, thank you, Faith.

He said you were confident.

He was elusive.

He was in a wheelchair, Bob. He was 35 at dawn.

He didn't like walking, but he loved punching. I found that out as soon as he

stood up.

Anyway, what's happening? The sign's gone.

The woman who made the offer has pulled out.

She can't do that?

She can.

Her husband lost his job yesterday and the bank withdrew their mortgage offer.

So you're not going?

Nope.

Well, I think it's a good thing.

I'm pleased.

You said you were happy for me.

I wasn't. You weren't. No.

And why not?

Babs.

Because I still love you.

You want sugar?

No. Sugar reminds me of dye.

Right.

Milk, though, yeah? No.

Dye loved his milk.

Well, what about something to eat, then?

Scrambled eggs?

Dye's favourite.

I know you're just trying to be kind, boy.

You've not really had loss in your life.

Apart from that little rabbit you had that Glenn backed over on his scooter.

Smokey Blue?

We told you we'd gone to live on a farm.

Smokey Blue's dead?

Murphy had to scrape him up with a shovel.

But as you get older, you'll realise life isn't

about what you got, but who you got.

And I've just lost something beautiful.

I don't think I'll ever smile again.

Well, you'll never smile anyway. Right, shut up.

John the Box will be here in a minute. You can choose a nice coffee. Oh,

no.

Oh, that'll be him.

Oh, it's fine.

Oh, I was expecting John the Box.

Oh, that.

Is Bobby in?

No, he's not here.

Oh.

Do you know where he is?

I rang him and he sounded strange.

Yeah, I was going to sort out a ring. But he doesn't want anyone knowing,

Say nothing.

Of course.

Message received.

I know.

She's kind and bubbly and she's got a cracking body and that.

She's a laugh and caring and loyal.

But she's not.

Really?

No.

She's not all here.

I think we're talking real bunny -boiling material here.

So deep, Bob.

Now, get yourself round Dyer's flat and make a list of all his belongings, yeah?

We can make a tidy sum on the house clearance, yeah?

What, now? Yeah.

Strike when the body's hot.

Before any distant relatives crawl out the woodwork for a slice of the pie.

But who'll come for that?

Me. I'm not leaving with you.

This is business, boy.

Right, now, we need the money.

Well, just try to not speak, yeah?

Cos every time you open your mouth, you make her cry.

Trust me on this.

Go on.

You've got to tell her.

No way.

You owe it to her.

She has to know how you feel.

Fine. But tell me they feel a chance for us.

Not right now.

But they could be.

Maybe.

I don't know.

Well, that's not a no.

You've still got to be honest with her.

And don't be railroaded into not saying what you really want.

It's one of your problems.

You're easily swayed.

I'm not. You are.

Am I? Yeah.

John won't be long.

If I were you, I'd think about those biodegradable coffins he does.

They're cheap, and the body gets to rot away a lot quicker.

What was that now?

Three ties.

Two ties.

Excuse me, who are you?

Who are you?

I'm Alice.

Where's Di?

He's not you.

He's dead.

My Di?

Dead? Your Di.

I never knew he had a sister.

I'm not his sister.

I'm his girlfriend.

No brothers or sisters?

Parents?

Yeah. The one he had at the skelter at fourth call.

Of course he hasn't got any bloody parents, John.

He's like a blue man. I have to ask these questions, man.

So, you had nobody there? Oh.

Oh. Too soon.

Too soon.

Calm down, man, will you? Calm down. There, there, Mrs. Tucker.

Deep breaths.

John, sit down, but I'm halfway through the one o 'clock of chapter, yeah?

Fine.

Fine.

Anyway, I'm afraid that my morgue is at capacity at the moment.

It's the same every summer.

The over -70s get back from Benidorm and they drop like flies.

The sangria season, we call it.

Yeah, well, he can't see you. I'm afraid there's no choice at the moment. He'll

have to lay where he is for now.

Did you hear that, Diane?

You stay in here for a bit, babe.

Hey, your favourite song tonight?

Strictly? We can watch it together.

Oh.

Oh, um, just one bit of advice.

Keep the place cold.

Very cold.

This is a massive shock.

It is for me too, trust me.

And who exactly are you?

A family friend.

Can I see him?

Who? Di, of course.

Right.

Let me just check with the undertaker when will be a good time.

Ah, no signal.

Thick walls.

You wait here. I'll be back in a bit.

Like I said, it'll be two or three weeks.

I'll be in touch.

Yeah. Can I have a word?

In private.

Who are you playing at?

What's the problem?

I want that body out now.

I told you, I'm chocker. They're lined up like fish fingers on a grill in

Fine.

I understand.

Thank you.

I mean, we're own mates, aren't we?

We've had a few jars together, haven't we? In the club.

That we are.

Remember that lock -in we had with Melvin last week? Oh, I do. Oh, you had

few? Oh, I had.

And you confided in us that you'd spilt someone's urn all over the place that

morning and had to replace it in ashes with something else. I can't believe it.

So, do you want me to tell the Sweeney twins that it was the content of your

vacuum that they scattered over Swansea Bay that morning and not their map?

And they loved their mam, those boys.

I mean, really, really loved her.

I've got a cancellation slot at three this afternoon.

Who knows? It makes sense.

Oh, hey, what about the vicar?

Oh, he'll fit in with us. We play poker together. He owes me a bun.

Crack it.

But, uh, God knows whether I'll get someone to organise a wake at this short

notice.

Wake?

Yeah, he always wanted a big send -off, did I?

He had a very sizeable funeral policy.

But didn't I tell you?

No, Di always wanted the Tuckers to take care of his wick.

They were his last words.

I want the Tuckers to do my due.

And then he was gone.

There you go.

There.

Oh, dear.

Dad, can I see you outside?

Yeah, not now. I'm just speaking to your nan. Yeah, but... Yeah, not now.

Now, I know you're upset, ma 'am, but I've just been chatting with John the

and he's asked if the Tuckers can organise Di's week, you know, to the

Stop rushing everything, will you?

There's plenty of time for all that.

No, no, there's not. He's had an opening.

You've got till three.

Three? Yeah, so they're shifting.

And that or in sandwiches.

Oh, how can you be so cruel?

I'm sorry, ma 'am.

Hey.

I'm sorry, ma 'am.

Come on, Nan.

We all love you.

We do, yeah.

I'm going to leave you to sort the details.

All right, all right.

I'm going to write a poem.

A poem?

Yes.

Oh, I'm for old Di.

From the heart to the grave.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, why don't you go upstairs?

Have a bit of thinking time.

Yeah, go on. Go and have a little think, Claire. Have a bit of a think.

We've got a big problem.

Eh? Di had another woman.

What? Kisses you on this flat now.

I knew it. It's just the stuff she'll be after. It's all this stuff.

If Nan finds out about it, it'll finish her off. I know.

So get round there now and keep her away. Do not leave her on her own. But

this day's funeral.

Do you want to protect your nan?

Yeah. Well, go. Get rid of her. Now.

Melvin.

Yes, Glenn.

Yeah, now, listen, I want to book the main hall for this afternoon.

Oh, aye. Yeah, yeah.

There's going to be a big do.

I'm worried about her. It's such a shock.

Just awful.

I still can't believe it happened.

Come on, get up.

You all right, Peg, love?

You ready, Nan?

I'm ready.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming at such short notice.

I was thinking of making a speech about Di.

But my mother forbid it.

So let's please remember him the way he would have wanted.

Eyes down for a full house, one book of six and a jackpot of 25 pounds.

Please get ready to mark your card.

On its own, number one.

Clickety -click.

Sixty -six.

You thought this is what he was wanted, Peg. Oh, yes.

He loved it. Bingo did my job.

Leg. Eleven.

So, uh, how long were you together then?

Years.

We were inseparable.

We did everything together.

Dance, fishing, snooker.

Where do you live?

Bridgend.

Bridgend? Bridgend!

That's miles away. I know.

But he used to pop over every other day.

He was totally committed to me.

Yeah, well, he can't have been.

Because on the other day, he was caught in my hand.

You weren't none.

He told her he loved her.

The dirty old bastard.

Hiya.

How are you? Hiya, Bob.

We'll shift up then.

The other way.

All right.

Hiya, Nan.

Sorry for you were lost.

Anyway, sorry I couldn't be earlier.

It's been a busy day.

And the box.

So, the funeral's already over.

Will we make the wake?

Doubt it.

Club closes soon.

Oh, so within the club?

I never said that.

Well, there's only one thing for it. Huh?

Your nan must know the truth.

Where are you going?

To the wake, of course.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Ladies and gentlemen, my mother has written a poem for her die.

Are you sure you don't want to do this at all? Read it.

Do it at the house later. No. A bit of privacy. No.

It's called From the Heart to the Grave.

You gave me hope.

You gave me life.

You even asked me to be your wife.

You touched my heart. I touched you back.

And then you had that heart attack.

You made me laugh.

You made me cry.

But now you're dead.

Oh why?

Oh why?

Oh why?

Oh why?

Or why?

Or why?

You were my die. I was your peg.

You had one life.

You had one leg.

You gave me sex.

And I'm not bragging.

But we were best when we were... How do we leave it there?

Now, ma 'am, I'm sorry. We all get the picture, but the rest of it, it's quite

funny. It's unreadable. I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

Very emotional day for her. She's very emotional. But thank you, ma 'am,

for sharing those wonderful memories.

I'm sorry, ma 'am. Get his music on.

What, now? Yes.

Drink.

Look, we really need to talk.

Do we?

You look nervous.

Well, I am a bit.

Don't be, Bobs. Just say whatever's in your heart.

Well... Ladies and gentlemen, as we know, Di also loved his dancing.

He enjoyed lots of things, did Di.

Very good juggler.

He was.

Love this juggling. Live for it.

Oh, happy memories.

Come on.

Quicker.

So I think it's only appropriate now that we should play Di's favourite song.

We should have that chat.

I know.

What the hell are you playing at?

Please don't do this.

Why suffer alone?

She needs to know the truth about him.

I know you're struggling.

It's only natural. You want to lash out.

Your life's just been turned upside down. But my nan... But... But my nan's

life's been ruined too.

Because he made her happy.

Now he's gone.

She's had an hard life.

A lot to cope with.

And a lot of pain.

Please don't let her get out anymore.

Not today.

Thank you.

And now about dyed belongings.

The stuff you think you're going to flog.

Consider them yours.

Right.

Right now?

Sorry I'm late.

Where have you been, Billy?

Dealing with some business.

Tucker business.

Good boy.

I loved him, you know.

The more I look at him, he looks a wicked bugger, doesn't he?

Aye.

He does now.

He does.

I've got something to tell you.

Stop looking so anxious. I know what it is.

You do? Of course.

I knew this was coming for a while.

You have? I could feel it.

And you're okay about it?

Of course I am, silly.

Thank you.

You're amazing.

Let's tell everyone.

What, now?

Well, I mean...

Is now the right time? Of course.

This is exactly the sort of thing we should be telling people at a funeral.

Let's share the map.

Everything all right?

Lash wants to tell everyone we're finishing.

Really?

Yeah.

He seems quite happy about that.

One, two, nush, one, two.

Hello, everyone.

It's less to see you all year. You're all looking less. I'm less.

Such a sad day.

But I've got some news.

And I'd like to ask Bobby...

Yeah.